We borrowed some money from a family member, my father and mother, and what do you owe them about 80,000? Oh, they're thinking we shouldn't be spending money when we owe them money. I just want to throw advice on that. Do you want me to get harder Jeremy or do you want me to leave you alone?
Brought to you by the Every Dollar App start budgeting for free today. I just started your book this last month with my wife We are on baby step number two and to long story short we basically borrowed some money from a family member father and mother ma about a year and a half ago and And we put a manufacturer comb there use the money for that. We're paying them back pretty quickly It feels like Made a dumb decision again before I started your book and went out and bought a toy and it's kind of putting some stress on our Relationship with them. They're thinking we shouldn't be spending money when we owe them money And I just wanted to advice on that What'd you buy?
A four-wheeler. Okay. We'll just spend on the four-wheeler six thousand and we financed it, but it's almost paid off now Okay, and what do you owe them? 80,000 goof so they loaned you the money to Be it by a put put a manufacturer a trailer.
Yeah. Yes, sir on their property Yes, sir. So you have an 80,000 dollar trailer and you don't own the dirt. Correct.
Oh, God. Okay Wow Well, what are the terms? I mean did you have a payment system with them a certain amount you're supposed to pay them every month? Yes, yeah, and we've been paying that on time every time obviously you were not well not obviously I mean you've never been late and yet they expected that you would pre-pay them rather than do anything else Why did they expect again?
You know, that's a good question. Okay You know our thing is we have a pretty good relationship with them and things just kind of got awkward so like sell the toy take a Loss and move on do I you're you're the expert? I guess that's my question Yeah, I'm curious to know if there was any pressure that you felt at any time or your wife felt any time to a borrow 80 grand from Them to then get a pre-mod trailer and put it on their property. Was there pressure there or was it just they threw it out?
You guys love the idea so basically we sold our house and had the money to decide to do this project And it was just an idea that got thrown out there and nobody thought it would really work We were able to make it work and we were pretty excited about that. There wasn't too much pressure there It will most likely be it will be our property at some point So that wasn't there wasn't too much for us on one worrying with that Okay, there's two layers to this situation the first layer is the simple four-wheeler question Okay, on the simple four-wheeler question I think you and your wife need to go over ask him if you can come over and talk and have a cup of coffee and bring a pie and You just sit down and say We thought that we had a monthly payment arrangement with you and as long as we were doing that We thought we were doing the right thing somehow there must have been more to the agreement than we understood Because if we go on vacation, you're gonna be mad if we buy a four-wheeler You're gonna be mad, but we didn't know that was part of the deal And so we need to get on the same page about what our deal is because I thought our deal was I pay you monthly payments and you're happy But now it's I pay you monthly payments and I have to check with you before I buy anything And that's not a deal. I'm okay with Now agreed you shouldn't have bought a stupid four-wheeler in this situation, okay, that's a side and you can say that I made a mistake I shouldn't have bought the toy, but I'm trying to figure out what our boundaries are here So that I don't upset you again into the future and basically call them out because they're out of line You did a stupid thing, but they don't have a right to be upset about it because you're kept your part of the deal Yep, I'm telling yourself the four-wheeler and get yourself out of debt with that money. Yeah, definitely do that But that not paying towards them.
Okay, that's layer number one. That's the easiest layer Do you want me to get harder Jeremy or do you want me to leave you alone? Nope, I want to hear it. Okay, you guys have made a colossal mess you violated about six things here and you're gonna get it's It's not gonna turn out.
Well, I'm afraid colossal rule number one is you never build a proper You never put $80,000 worth of collateral on someone else's dirt. I don't care who's there it is Period because you do not have control the situation if they are in a car wreck in the middle of the night Fall asleep at the wheel and these sweet little people hit somebody head on and they get sued for two hundred million dollars The dirt under your trailer is gone in that lawsuit and they have no control over that and you have no control over that So you have set yourself up and I've seen this a thousand times in 30 years of doing what I do not owning the dirt under your trailer is Massive mistake number one borrowing 80,000 from your in-laws for anything for any reason is a massive mistake number two The borrower is slave to the lender and as you have figured out masters change the rules sometimes You're the slave Rule number problem number three you spent $80,000 on something that's going down in value not up in value Trailers go down in value. They don't go up in value. So in 15 years.
What's this $80,000 trailer worth nothing? You're burning $80,000 on your kitchen table every night a little bit at a time So you got all you got a massive entanglement of mess here and I don't know exactly how to get you out of that one as easy as I did The other one that's not a cup of coffee in a pie So but if I'm in your shoes I'm gonna start trying to unravel this thing if I can figure out a way to honorably do that I'm guessing the trailer won't bring 80 grand now, right? No, okay. What would it bring now?
It might get close No, there's not a lot of them around to get a good idea But okay if you can if you can get out of it I would sell it and start fresh renting somewhere and give them their money back and keep you from owning an asset That's going down in value sitting on dirt that you don't own man This is just you're playing Russian roulette and there's three bullets in the gun not one. Yeah Yeah, he's been sufficiently burned. I'll offer some salve And the same I got permission right no you couldn't be more right. I just can't add anything to it other than to say this Walk away from this realize it could have been way worse and this thing can get nastier if you don't fix it now And I could not say that enough you can dig out of this But I would start digging quickly and make all these changes and then you look back on this and go I'm glad I did it's it's gonna get worse the relationship's gonna get worse the finances are gonna get worse Everything's gonna get worse.
There's nothing in this story that turns out good Yeah, it's it's it's it's and and the problem is to stop and say that out loud is like walking up in the middle of the town square And saying the emperor has no clothes everybody's gonna look at you and go but wait your wife's gonna look at you Their precious little daughter and go my daddy would know yes, he did he already bitched about the four-wheeler Of course, he's gonna do it. It's common. You know what your daddy's gonna do. All right, okay I already know what your daddy's gonna do I read his mail Okay, this makes me think of those the classic line in the wedding vows leave and cleave there is a psychological reason for doing that There's wisdom in that phrase and on their land on their land.
I've got some money and they've got some land and they're trying to do something Nice sure good thing in a dumb way. Yeah, that's a great way put you know, how could you do this differently? Alright, I'll tell you how you could do it for you carve up your property You put a property line on it and you give a parcel of it to your daughter And if you want her to have an $80,000 property have her build something on there that will go up in value and give her $80,000 of your money Don't loan it to her and make her your slave and change the quality of your relationship Thanksgiving dinner tastes different when you eat with your master create your free every dollar budget today the simplest way to budget for your life