育儿：13岁的女儿告诉我应该把她放在所有事之前，这是她自私还是我自私？

My 13-year-old daughter told methat I should put my kids before anything. Is she being selfish, or am I theselfish one? Brittany Bown, Hello, Iam human Written Oct 23 Let my life be a warning for you. When I was 12, my mom starteddating a man. I remember thinking he was not very nice, but not very terrible,either. She dated him for another year. When I was 13, she asked me a questionthat changed my life forever. “Would it be okay with you if Imoved to Texas with Joe?” I was 13, and she was asking herchild if it was okay for her to move thousands of miles away. She was asking asmall human if they were okay with a random man being more important to herthan her own child. Because I was a naive small humanof 13, all I could think of was wanting my mom to be happy. I didn’t want to beselfish, I didn’t want to make things harder on her, so when she asked me thatquestion, I said “It’s okay. You can go.” Since then, I’ve felt like I’velost my mother. We haven’t been close. I’m 26 now, and I don’t have arelationship with her at all. There might be a phone call once a month, but wenever talk about anything important. She has no idea who her daughter is, whather daughter likes, what her daughter cares about, because to her, fulfillingher own desires in the moment was more important than building a life with herkid. I go totherapy because of this. I feel unwanted as an adult. Please, for the love ofgood things in this world, don’t be like this to your kids. Even if you’re notmoving anywhere, your heart can feel a thousand miles away from them, andthey’re still developing. You can cause lifelong damage, so PLEASE be morecareful.