Welcome to Gymasticsville. I'm O'Barrick Simmons. You guys all know me as Midnight Robin, the host of Gymasticsville, the voice of acrobatics. I do want to have a real quick transparency note before we get into it.
I'm the co-founder of Gym Crew Talent Management alongside Taki and Carrie. We represent Yule and manage his partnerships and opportunities. We wanted to do this long form podcast so Yule can share his first full update since returning to training and competition in his own words with the right context. In this episode, Yule Modal returns the next chapter.
We're going to cover the return to competition, what he learned during the time away, and what he is building for next. Yule, we appreciate you being here. Let's get into it. Thanks for having me guys.
I'm super excited to do this. It's been a long time coming, but I'm just excited to speak. That's great. First question, Yule, this past weekend, you were finally competing the Rocky Mountain Open.
What did it feel like to step back in the competition floor? It was high, it was emotional, it was excitement, nerve-racking. All week I just wanted to compete already. I remember even before the competition I was rolling out in my hotel room and I got emotional.
I started to water and everything was hitting me. Coming back, training super hard this last eight weeks and everyone doubting me that I could do it, but also having the pressure of wanting to make winter come and have that opportunity to compete there so I could at least try and earn my spot back on the national team. Rocky Mountain Open is almost like a home meet for me. I've done it for over 10 years.
I knew the layout. I knew what the college was going to be like. I got lucky. I got to rotate with Oklahoma.
It was exciting. It was nerve-racking, but I was just ready to go. I knew the pressure was on, but I always told myself, if it doesn't make me nervous, it's not worth it. Pressure was a privilege.
I wanted this moment. I wanted to go out and compete. Even if this was my last competition to go out on my own terms. You started on Thursday.
I found out. Every morning I started on horse. After noon, I started on horse. I would picture myself more nervous than I've ever been in my life.
I knew the nerves were going to be there. It's not like I have so much experience. I knew I was going to be nervous. I also took that as a really cool chance to show if you do the right training and put the pressure on when you work out.
You can build for those moments. I went last. No one else was going. Oklahoma had six guys go.
I could feel everyone watching me. I also could hear in the crowd helmet support I had. I could hear the little kids screaming my name. I could hear my dad screaming my name.
I could hear my best friends that showed up screaming my name. I knew that I was almost doing it for them and that I had so much support. I didn't need to overthink what the moment was. It was just go out there, do eight skills, get through the routine, don't be perfect.
Just try and show that I belong here still. I was like my entire goal. Man, when I landed that as well. I looked up and it felt so good because it was a very difficult year and a half being away from gymnastics.
To find me just landed and being that moment, it was nice. I can hear your voice. It's not emotional because it wasn't easy. Of course, with Pumwarsen, you hit the first event, which is great.
Obviously, it was first take it through the competition. I was like, I was like, I'm going to win next. From the previous conversation we had, you could train your strength and you could get this spot quite a bit. You just take it through it.
Yeah, I mean, Ringi was next. I think that was my second routine without being spotted on my strength skills. I knew that it was going to be tough. I knew that Ringi was going to be one of the harder events for me.
I did fall on my dismount, but I just had a bad swing, honestly, going to see my dislocate. But for me, I was just happy because going back to trials and US champs and even Pacific Rim in 2024, I was dealing with a really bad shoulder injury. I didn't know what it was because I was too stubborn to go to the doctors the year of Olympics, because I didn't want to hear if it was going to be bad news or not. I knew that if I just didn't know what the injury was and if I could just do the rehab, K-Tape it and just get three strength skills for these last three needs, you know, it would be okay.
When I finally went to the routine and I didn't feel any shoulder pain, I was so grateful. I was so happy because it actually felt like everything healed up. That was honestly what I was most stressed about. So getting through rings, I was happy about it.
It's really hard to get strong on rings really quick, considering I only had eight weeks until I competed. For me, it was just like get through. Yeah, I tried to do it easier routine, but for me, I was just like, you know what, I'm just going to send it. This is where I start.
This is where I need to build up. If I do make it to winter cup, I have four weeks in between the meets, so this is a good time to just really go for it. And then next was Vault. I've been doing two and a halfs in the gym, but when I got there, I just knew it'd be better to just play it safe, and it really happened.
As I blocked, I knew my shoulder would have been far forward on the vault, and I knew that I can't afford a lot of falls right now. I really want to make it to winter cups. So I did double full, you know, did a big step. Were you a little juiced up?
You were a little passionate about what you think? That's what you did. I said take one fast? Probably.
Oh, yeah. I felt like I was flying. I've never felt that fresh in a while involved. So I survived.
Next was P-Bars. For me, this was honestly, I think, one of my better events, probably, I would say best because I think High Bar for me was my best event. Even though I didn't score aside, but people always like to show off who I am as a gymnast on this event, my lines. But I took out the bowman.
I didn't do my horata. So for me, this routine, it feels pretty simple. I'm not going to lie. You do it the coosle.
I was pretty surprised by that. I was expecting to last skill. Well, honestly, it's in the same exact position as it is in my first half in the old cup. Oh, yeah, good.
You used to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. So that's where I had to be taken out on the UGLF-Ais field now. Yeah, two skills. Yeah.
So it honestly felt easy. It felt like it flowed. You know, the dismount. I wasn't even winded.
So P-Bars, for me, it's great. You know, of course, still had some bending on the P-Chaff. Been on on the D-On. It can be cleaner, you know, with some toe-flix here and there.
But overall, I was happy because I knew P-Bars could be an event where I could really make an impact on my scoring and help me in the all-round score. Yeah. Next, we went to High Bar. And High Bar for me, I really wanted to, you know, you always want to hit High Bar.
And for me, I know this has been one of my weaker events. You know, I didn't do the triple double. I actually, my second time doing a Zulimin because I had branding grips and they weren't fully broken into the extent that I want them. You ain't going to steal.
No peeling. Yeah. So it was another just, okay, I did a Zulimin in the routine on Thursday, you know, a couple days before the competition. And then I did it at the meet.
Got through High Bar. That was fine. I was good. Floor.
This was another event I knew I was going to struggle on. You know, I've never competed a full punch double front. And that's, you know, requirement is doing a double front flip. So for me, this was a branding pass.
I haven't competed on an AI floor in years and we don't have, I wouldn't say like a create. We have one at our gym, but it's not to the extent where you can be tumbling on the elite level. You know, maybe as like Excel and some junior tumbling. But for me, I knew floor was going to be hard one because it's last two floors hard to get your legs back, you know, and the shape of the back and your calves.
And so for me, I've been doing a lot of tumbling onto the Resi-Man. So taking all these hard hits, you know, I knew it was going to be a little bit of a gamble. But I did fall on this one too. My legs were just honestly dead.
I'm not going to put it on the floor. I was dead. And that's why I did it on the layout because I wanted to be safe. I wanted to knock at myself.
And so after my turn off punch layout, I was like, I'm just going to do a layout, try and finish the meet safely. Yeah, well, smart city, you know, you're just getting back. So that's like, you know, anyone to, you know, so let's bring it to learn. If you ain't feeling it, you know, live to fight another day.
Yeah, Kerry, do you have a question for you? Yeah, you know, I want to kind of take it back to, you know, as you were in your hotel, that kind of moments in between then, you know, I want to know how to feel, you know, just first walking into the event venue, you know, also, you know, what was going through your mind. You know, after you walk through the venue, you probably see some people and then I want to also know, I was going through your mind doing a pivotal part of the competition, I think, is during the National Anthem. You know, when it's silent, everybody's listening to the anthem, you know, what's going through your mind after you walked in, you've already warmed up, you can kind of go through that and then that National Anthem part right before your first event.
Yeah, no, so walking in, I got there Friday evening and walking in, you know, immediately, I had a bunch of support saying, welcome back, we're happy you're competing. And for me, this was really nice because I'm embarrassed of not being in gymnastics for, you know, I take responsibility of not being responsible and update my whereabouts, you know, people are going to talk and say, you know, there's thoughts. And for me, I was a little shy walking into the venue, man, I didn't want to walk in there like I was, you know, you were milled out, I almost walked in there thinking I'm a fresh gymnast, you know, I have to earn everyone's respect again. I have to earn everyone's trust again.
And immediately hearing, you know, everyone welcoming back, you know, that really took off the stress. In between, I actually had to leave my hotel early, because checkout time was at one and open warm was at four. So I just went to the competition. I asked if I could just hang out here until the competition starts.
So I literally just put a roller behind my neck and lay down and just watch these little kids compete, play some games on my phone. Just really try to get your competition. Okay. Just took in the energy and the environment before I competed and just really embraced where I was and warming up.
I really tried to do like minimal turns because in the gym, I've been, I've been taking two warm up turns max because I know I'm getting older. I can't be doing an intense two hour warm up and then competing for another two to three hours. So I tried to really mature in the way I warmed up. So it was very basic turns to do what I need to do to feel confident.
And then once we marched out and the national GANSOM started playing, I mean, I got nervous. I really did. I was like, wow, I'm here. This is really happening.
And for me, I always count the stars. I always count, you know, the road by the other row and I add them up and I always just say a little saying in my head, 30 plus 20 equals 50, 50 equals, you know, represents the states of the United States. And then I take a deep breaths and then I just pretty much say, let's go in my head. You know, I try and clap.
You know, I hug all my coaches. I hug, you know, all the OU guys. I clapped all over and I really tried to bring in that energy that I love competing in. And that's that team environment and lucky enough, I was with Oklahoma.
You know, they're one of the best teams to rotate. You know, I know that might be biased because I went there, but really their energy is amazing. You know, their intensity is true and just being sucked in with them. You know, that helped me really being the moment and kind of make it a college meet again.
Yeah, nice. I got one more question. One more. Obviously you went through this competition.
I want to know a little bit or should light on, you know, how from you being out of the gym and your training, how your cross training kind of played a role into you competing this past weekend, you know, and how that either helped you benefit you or if it didn't benefit you kind of can you talk a little bit about how it's changed your endurance as well, lead into that first competition. It played a huge role. You know, I knew I was going to be out. I knew that I was going to have to come up with exercises that was going to have, you know, the pounding on my wrist, my elbows, shoulders, knees, ankles, all of it.
So for me, I really tried to bring in everything that I could. I don't almost like a home workout, whether it was presses, whether it was, you know, the jurengs don't this way with weights doing playing holes, hopping on the ball, handstand, walks, you know, I probably looked crazy in a normal finish gym. You know, I worked out at lifetime. Thankfully, a senior Dallas Hill gave me a membership there and he was like, you need to do whatever you need to do to take care of your body, to be able to come back as quick as you can.
And I really took that to heart. I ran a mile every single day. I did a press circuit every day. I did a core circuit every day.
I swam. I saw it. I hopped up and it really opened my eyes of how much you can do that isn't gymnastics that can keep you in gymnastic shape. And it's almost like the weights we did in Oklahoma.
You know, we did those weights not to get big. It was for you to prepare for the season. So you want to get injured. You would be able to do 18 weekends in a row of competing.
Sorry, really try to take everything I learned at OU. Everything that I've seen around the world, whether it was at a Japan national team camp, world guys warming up with exercises, just using blocks and weights, flexibility stretches. And I did that so much that I am actually more flexible today. My endurance is higher today.
I actually got convinced my gym and when I met Tramel, she actually got us a treadmill because I told her I ran a mile and it helped my endurance so much. I posted that pommel horse routine on my Instagram. That was the first pommel routine I saluted and showed. And for me to even get through the first half and through the travels and feel the difference in my endurance.
I felt like that really opened my eyes to be like, I need to be on the treadmill and I need to keep that endurance up. So we got a treadmill actually ran a mile today already. So that's something that I'm keeping in my routine is being on the treadmill, running a mile, opening up my lungs. And I still take all these weights that I did in the gym that made me feel strong, like in my legs and ankles, my wrist.
I don't even take my wrist for pommel anymore. So I'm really thankful for that. So I'm trying to bring everything that I learned outside the gym and a fitness gym and correlate against my morning routine. I mean, just from watching a few of the videos and obviously your pommel horse routine, I mentioned to you, mentioned this to you offline about just how smooth you look.
You looked way, you know, it didn't seem like you were rushed, you seemed under control, you just looked like you had a nice flow like in a flow state when you're training horse now man. So, you know, real props and kudos to you for taking that time and really taking it seriously outside of the gym to how now that extra work is just showing into your competition this last weekend. So man, just probably on that one. Yeah, so that's one of the things that I remember again throughout the process of you coming back, I remember talking to you obviously as a coach still, you know, we always talk about, you know, making sure you're monitoring your low, you know, don't come back too fast and putting all those things out there and just, you know, just, you know, just obviously want to make sure you come back as good as possible.
And you, again, you're even there with you guys as long enough you listen to your body, you know your body, everyone else. And then after day one or day, you're like, oh my gosh, you did so much so fast, but you said you felt great, your body felt great. And it kind of leads me to my next thought, the little bit, this is kind of something you can chime in on, is that gymnastics is not a sport that has an off season, you know, like, you know, like other sports and I think one of the things that you have shown at least in this short period of time, sometimes you have competition back is that it seems like gymnastics can actually have an off season, which means nothing but it doesn't mean you cross train. So just with that in mind, again, I know the top to do because you know the business of gymnastics but what's your thought about that now moving forward, do you do you see yourself maybe possibly, again, it'd be hard to do because it's how the gymnastics is going to be a little bit more.
I do because it's how the gymnastics is going to go, but do you maybe see a benefit of maybe having a one one one away from gymnastics and getting cross train. I honestly do. I think I think I'm going to implement taking actual, like you said, maybe a month, maybe three weeks off and making sure I stay fit, making sure my endurance is out, making sure my flexibility stays within me. So I do see, you know, the benefits of taking time off, you know, honestly, I think the best thing for me was staying motivated and staying consistent.
You know, I think if I wasn't consistent with my workouts and stretching, it would be a way different story. And even going back into the gym, I definitely felt off. Yeah. And I definitely felt like everything wasn't there yet.
You know, it did take me a while to get fully back on floor. You know, I actually for floor, I started on the tumble trap to really just not hurt myself. Like honestly, yeah. Yeah.
So floor, I really took my time on pommelors. I knew was going to hurt with just the wrist and elbows. Yeah. I was surprised because of all this plinking stuff that I did.
I think it kept my wrist and elbows strong. So you can just kind of just take us through a day. It's a day in which what you're doing. You know what I mean?
Just from wake up to the end of the day. So we kind of have a better idea on what a normal day was like for you. So this is what I did. You know, four or five days.
You can just take us through that. Yeah. So I actually went before I started. I actually went and got a job at subcontractor for ball to mass the Mason jars and work started at five, 30 in the morning.
And I took those hours because I knew we would keep me on schedule waking up early, you know, for gym and getting out it too. And if I got out it too, I could go home change and go to lifetime. So I would literally wake up, go to work for eight and a half hours, go home, sit in my bed for 20 minutes and decompress from work, change into workout clothes, head to lifetime, get there, literally do like gymnastics warm up for 30 minutes, which stretching right now, then another like 15 minutes of rubber bands. And then I would go into, I think it was like eight exercises of core and I would do three sets of 10 on everything, three sets of 10, 10 second hold on everything.
Then I would do a three minute plank routine. Then every other day I would decide between bicep kind of movements or really strengths movements, you know, with the string and strap or if it was bicep girls, because I knew I wanted to give my body rest too. So I didn't want to be overdoing it. So I honestly came up with this routine and then I would do cardio every single day and it would at least be 15 minutes or a mile on the treadmill, whether it was the treadmill or the stairmaster.
And I actually got down to a five, 26 mile, five minute, 26 mile because I didn't have any goals. I couldn't push for anything in the gym. So what I decided to do was like, I want to see how fast I can run a mile. And it actually got to the point where the employees at lifetime would ask me, would you ever be a personal trainer?
And they would watch me, they would ask me, you know, why are you doing this? You know, it was the gals, Jones that got everybody there. They were like, why are you doing these arm circles with weights? Yeah.
Honestly, I don't know, but it just makes my shoulder feel stronger. You know, I'm not a doctor. I didn't start the body. I don't know what every muscle group is, but I remember there's one thing that actually helped my shoulders.
It was doing the rotation things. Yeah. I don't know. We call them Jordan something.
Yeah. Jordan. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So I'm just going to act. I don't know. You just come up with a name and a snip.
Yeah. And then after all that workout was done, I would go sit in the sauna, whether it was ten minutes to 20. It just kind of felt like what I needed that day or how dehydrated I got. But in that sauna time, I would close my eyes and I would literally imagine myself doing routines the entire time.
Very slowly, not rushed. And the biggest moment of my life, I would just imagine every single muscle from toe to head, I would literally try and focus like, what would I be feeling? Because gymnastics at some point, it kind of feels automatic. You don't need to be thinking about a high bar top, right?
Yeah. So I'd really go through every single motion of hand placement, how my thumbs were feeling, how my elbow was in arms would be locked out, where my neck would be, how my pecs would be feeling. And it wasn't rushed, it was almost like I was meditating in my own routines. And I did that because I wanted to feel like I was doing skill skill.
I did want to lose the feeling. I did want to lose the focus. And I did that every single day. And then by, I think August, Dao Señor was like, I don't want you working.
I want you to give everything into getting back in shape these next, you know, four months, three months and taking time off and letting you buy your ass. And that's when I started working out twice a day at the fitness center. So I would do the same thing that I just told you in the morning. And then in the afternoon, I would swim.
And then I would do more like gymnastic stuff, like handstand walks, jumping off the block, you know, sometimes going out into the grass and doing a backhand spring or a back touch. But I really couldn't do much. Like all I could do was what I could find out how to use things in the gym, you know? Yeah.
I had a, I used weights as parallets. Parallets, yeah. And I would do heelies on them. I was kind of scared at first sight.
Well, you don't have to reach for. You got that little head, right? And then if you don't grab that, you go and try this looking a finger or two, because I'm grounded right there. Right.
And I would do circles on the floor. I would do flares on the floor. I would do back touch on the floor. You know, I had tennis shoes on, but honestly, I just did as much as I could.
Like I could, I did more and I could do more during COVID than I could with this time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Wow. That's crazy. All right, Carrie. Yeah.
Thank you guys for having me. You know, I got to run back. Like make a few more smoothies. You guys already, you guys already know, but you'll man looking forward to the next podcast and the next competition.
Mo Taki brothers. See y'all later. All right. See you.
Okay. All right. So let's continue. You know, this conversation seems like you did, you know, within this time away, you had a lot of growth, but we would like to know, I'm sure, because was there a moment during this time that you questioned that you would come back?
Yeah. Every day. It was, it was every day I had to think about it. At age, it was, you know, do I move on with my life?
It was, it was everything. It was really hard to know what I wanted to do. But I think as I got closer, I started to know that I only have this one chance. And if my body feels good, no matter if I make it, you know, these next two years and seven months to the Olympic games, or even if I make the Olympic team, you know, I'm going to give it everything because I don't want to regret going back 10 years and like, man, I wish I went for it, you know, those last two years and seven months.
So at one point, everything just clicked and I was like, I'm going to do this. I don't care what anyone says. I don't care what anyone's going to think of me. I'm doing this for myself.
And I'm going to do it the way I went. And I'm going to exit the sport and the way I went to. You know, I get it. I get it.
So was there a period at the beginning where you kind of, you know, trying to find your footing on what you were doing, but essentially with your life, you know, I need a game, you know, you know, gymnastics has been your entire life. And, you know, all of a sudden, you know, just like that, you just, you know, your outfit, you know, how long you're out for. Like an injury, you're like, you know, you still keep your mind at gym and all that stuff. But this is different.
You're completely separated from gymnastics. So, you know, explain what that process is like. I think people will be very interested to know. Man, it was, it was definitely a time-cared word.
I was like a little lost and I didn't know which direction to go. But I will say this, I made sure I went out and lived a life completely without gymnastics to really see what it was like. And that's why I won. I got a job because I wanted to be in the corporate side.
I wanted to see what that was like because I wanted to see if I could do it. And actually, it was really cool. The job site that I was at, we were never in the top three for warehouses. And we got him to the top two.
You know, every single day I worked as hard as I could. I tried to motivate people. I had like every single meeting on Wednesday. We had a meeting every Wednesday.
And I told everyone, I was like, guys, we needed to be in the top. Like, you guys want those bonuses, right? Like we do this. What's that money?
What's that right? It's funny, but it's so true. You know, I can honestly see, you know, I'm not going to say people were lazy and whatnot. But I really can see a difference why corporations do love athletes.
You know, they do their work. They listen. Well, there was another athlete there that I worked with. And he played basketball, you know, years ago, he was working at this company for over 15 years.
And me and him just instantly clicked because we always listened. We understood the assignment. We had a goal and we just tried to rally off of each other. You know, I think there was a record of how many pilots you can clean.
And they're, you know, 50 pounds. You got to bring them outside. You got to wash them. The average person does 40 a day.
I did like 230 something in a day. And the lady, my bums, was shocked. She was insane. And she thought it was just going to be a one day thing.
But I tried to beat that number every single day. And I hit over 150 every single day. And I remember starting at the warehouse. There was piles and rows of these pilots.
And it took me like two months of work to get to where we were caught. Where you didn't even have to worry about a section for them because we were cleaning them so efficiently. And then I got moved over to a different station to get caught up and I got caught up within the first couple of days. And then they put me over to the sheet area and I would do, you know, we call it a pilot.
There's probably 800 sheets. They're plastic. You know, clean them off. Spray them with alcohol, clean them off again, dry them off.
You know, everyone does, you know, maybe two pilots a day. I would get through, you know, eight to 10. And so we were actually running efficiently and I kept that competitive. So I, that was really fun for me to see that I could sell outside of something.
Then gymnastics. And then I started getting into music. I've always been into music. Ever since I was a little kid, you can ask my family.
All I wanted was a radio and a three oh three CD or a yes CD or just something that I could play the radio on while I build my legos. It was therapy for me. Music has always been therapy for me. For me, I remember 2017 Worlds.
I was listening to one song every single day on repeat to hype me up for the meat because it was just the noise and the energy of this song. And I've been in DJ since I was 17. You know, I've always had a table, a mixer and I've always messed around with it. Never thinking that I was going to give it a real chance, but everyone was like through it, you know, take the shot.
Let's see if you can do it. And I actually have this friend since middle school who has been DJing. And so I hit him up once and I was like, Hey, you know, here's a mix I made. I would love to see if I could just try it out, not career wise, but I just want to say I actually went out and played publicly.
And I got my first gig on a Wednesday night at 10 o'clock. You know, Wednesdays are not popular. Popular day, but it was packed. You know, I had a lot of support for my friends and even my coach came and saw she came and supported me with his lives and a few of the parents.
And that meant a lot to me. You know, I went out and DJed and ever since then people said I played really well and I just started getting booked and I got to play in Aspen. I got to DJ Red Bull event at golf course. I've hit every single major club down in Colorado.
I actually have a kid coming up February six. And so it's kind of crazy to see that part grow as well too. And I never thought you would take me anywhere, but you know, if you play an hour set, charge $200 an hour, you can make an extra $800 a month. And if you play multiple hours, it just builds up and then some corporations will pay you, you know, $5,000 $10,000.
And it kind of just got to the point where I was DJing and people like me because I didn't put myself in a position to not play again with, you know, that outside activities that most people think DJs do. I always took it very seriously as a job. Like I'm getting paid to do this. So I want to represent myself as someone that takes it seriously and you can rely on it and go out there and play.
So I went and did that. And then I also went and saw all my friends. I went to Texas and saw all the way guys like Hunter, Breeze, Turner, Puff, Levi, and just enjoyed life. And then I also got to go to Josh.
He's waiting in Hawaii. I got to go see my best friend since I was, you know, seven in Missouri and see his family and see his, his dad who actually passed away a couple months ago. So I'm really glad I got to go out and see him. I got to see my mom more and she, you know, lives an hour and a half away from me and with a gymnastic schedule.
You know, I never get to like see her besides maybe a Sunday if I'm in town, if I don't have a competition. So I got to sleep in, which I've never experienced. I'm actually sleeping. Stay on late watching a Netflix show.
No alarm. No alarm. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What's going on?
Yeah, actually, you know, if my friends go to Darryl, I'm going to say, oh, yeah, I can go. So I really tried to separate myself from the gymnastics world to see what it was really like to see if like, do I still love gymnastics because I shouldn't go back into gymnastics to go and reach the Olympics. I should go back because I love it. And if I love it enough, it will lead me to the national team.
Love will lead me to the world team. Love will lead me to the Olympic team. Love will overpower all these hard days that requires being a gymnast. So I had to figure out do I still love the sport?
And that's what I did. And I realized I'm in the love with the sports stuff. And that's great. You'll, I think that's a good transition.
So we can just talk a little bit about this. I'd like to to address this suspension. Right? We're going to address this briefly and then we're going to move forward.
But looking back on everything that happened. What responsibility do you own today? All of it. I don't blame anyone else but myself.
At the end of the day, I didn't update my whereabouts. I missed the test and I can't blame anyone or complain. I have to suck it up. You know, that's why I publicly wanted to come out and let everyone know from me because at one, I wasn't scared that it was drugs or a fatal test.
I knew I was clean. I know that for a fact. So I'm not even worried about that. And yes, people are going to say their own stories and I go, he missed because he's using it.
No, I know I'm clean, but I'm going to come out and be the bigger person, own responsibility and deal with this. Luckily, they gave me a 16 month suspension and send it 24. So you have to be thankful for that. I could still be out if they gave me the full time.
But also I don't really care what people say about it because I know between those whereabouts, I was still taking tests or I had competition. So anyways, the year of the Olympics, it's like, people are so quick to jump to conclusion on the negative. Okay, take a step back and say you're an athlete building up for the Olympics. It's the Olympic year.
Why would you be taking drugs the year of the Olympics? First of all, and secondly, you know, the first one I missed, I was in France on competing in the leagues there. They trust you anytime that one. So it's not like I'm free.
So you'll just just to maybe just, you know, explain a little bit for people who may not understand what the whereabouts is the requirement. Can you just not just briefly explain what they are and why doesn't matter, you know, in terms of having a clean sport, right? Of course, you know, I will always say, you know, I want everyone to compete clean. So I get their whole system.
So every single quarter, we have quarters, you know, the first three months, second three months, blah, blah, blah. So they're a quarter. You have to go in and fill out. We're going to be sleeping every single night, whether you have competitions, whether you're going to be traveling in a one hour window where they can come test you.
And I mean, everyone has a login. Everyone has that app. So you can go in and log in and update it. And you know, everyone has to do that every single quarter and day.
If something like for me, right now I have it set to 9.30 when I get back from Jim now. But let's just say after Jim, I have a doctor's appointment before 9.30 hits. I need to go into that app and remember, hey, I'm changing my time to 12 PM because I have a doctor's appointment. And it's very by the book.
If you don't do that, you can, you can easily miss a test. You know, sometimes you stop at a gas station too long and you can miss your drug test. So it's very strict. You know, it's, it's there for a reason.
I get the reason behind it. It's just, they have to do it this way. You know, they have to know where you are and come test you else. And, you know, the athletes that don't want to compete clean there are windows where you could probably just miss if they didn't have that hour window or where you're sleeping.
But, you know, I feel like, you have to be on top of it because anytime you're schedule, you know, because obviously you feel it out every quarter and you feel it out through those three months. And then you can forget you have an appointment set, you know, it's actually appointment and you didn't know and then they can be there to go to the doctor's appointment. So it's very, it's again more, it doesn't happen. Like obviously where about goes can happen to anyone.
They don't have as often as one of the things, but it's very easy to just not remember these things. Like, you know, it's not easy. And it's like, you know, you can't go constantly changing. But again, that's part of the responsibility is at the high level.
The athletes be doing those things, but it's definitely, it's way harder than people think to just remember those small nuances and changes that happens in people's lives that you have to be on top of it. Make those changes in the app. So I think it's awesome. What systems you'll do you kind of have in place, you know, to kind of help you, you know, hopefully never have this happen again.
Well, honestly, this whole thing like scarred my life. Honestly, I felt like I was a criminal. I felt like they thought I was a drug user. So for me, I really wake up.
I look at my app every single day now, and I just made sure that's like the first thing I do now. And I make sure it's up to date. I make sure if I'm going out of town now that I put it in the moment. I know because I never want this to happen again.
And I know how extent the rules are. And honestly, it's, it's, it's insane. Like I felt like I was on probation and I couldn't even walk into a gym. I couldn't even talk to a little kid.
So for me, that is my gymnastics life inspiring the youth. So to not even be able to coach or go work at camps or even be in the realm. It's just like, it's a good story. Yeah.
So you were again, I didn't know this until probably a month back, but you were still in the system and you still had to update everything throughout your suspension. Correct. I've been drug tested, you know, every single month for the past suspension, I would say, you know, someone's they even come twice. You know, I'm actually, that's why I probably went so like on it right now is because I just know like they could be here today.
They could come in right now during minutes. So it's, it's scarred me in a positive way. You know, again, I don't want to blame it on anyone. I just need to be responsible.
I need to make sure I'm on top of it and just make sure this never happens again. All right. Yeah, that's great. All right.
So let's talk a little bit about now, you know, you're training now. What's next? What are you building for? What are your goals this year specifically?
You know, what can the fans, you know, see that you're working towards this year? In four weeks, I'll be going to winter camp thankfully I qualified. So that was, you know, something off my plate of stress. Now that I can focus on winter camp.
I want to earn my spot back onto the senior national team. And from there, I've really, really want to do well when I come because I want to make it back to the American Cup. And I know that there's been so much competition for that because the national team looks good. There are a lot of good guys.
And also, even if I do well, what happened if they don't trust me because I haven't been competing in a while. So there's that too. But you know, my goals are a big national team gets selected for international needs like American Cup, DTP, you know, hopefully a World Cup. So I can compete the skill that I've been inventing before the other gymnast competed because I see it's been going around.
Okay. Okay. You going bail? What is it?
What is it? It's the peach half healy. Yeah. I'm doing it.
And I've, and I've been doing it since 2020, but just I've never competed at World Cup because I've been so focused on the team that now that if I make the world a world cup, I'm just I'm going to do it. So you tell me what this skill, what did he call the mode hour? I mean, yeah. So it hasn't been done in a world cup setting yet.
No, hasn't it done yet. So that's something I want to do. I also want to do well. I also want to do well at championships.
So I can try and make the world team. You know, that's always the number one goal of every single year. If it's not the Olympics is make the world team earn a world medal as a team and individually. Yeah.
And just every single year, just have these singles that always had, you know, stay on national team. If I make it in 2027, make international competitions, make the world team. And then it's 2028. It's spread around the corner.
So, honestly, it's the singles I had as, you know, when I was at gymnast a couple years ago, do well, make international assignments or national medals and put men's gymnastics on the map. Nice. What are your thoughts about the new American Cup formats? Which also leads to that kind of follow up to actually the Olympics having this pair's competition.
I feel about that. I love it. Like, it is, it is so fun to compete in mixed pairs. I've done, you know, thankfully three Swiss Cup events.
And those are so fun because it, you know, guys and girls are so separate in gymnastics. And I think it's so fun when you finally get to compete with the females with the girls, because it's, it's like you feel like a complete team. It's not just so women's side, men's side. It's like Holy cow, it's like the Olympics when they introduced both male and female teams for track and field.
And as you see, it's growing more and more in sports. And I think gymnastics is an incredible way to show one the difference between men's and female gymnastics, but also show gymnastics in general because everyone argues, you know, what's harder female or male. And it's like, it's so different, but not, you know, bad ways. It's incredible.
It's incredible to see what the female bodies capable of. It's incredible to see what the male body can do. And to see them compete together. I think that's just such a special thing.
You know, I always argue when I was in the NCAA, like why not have one competition where it's girls and guys just to see what it's like to really see what the difference is to give people that aren't gymnastics fans an actual eye to eye representation. And they start, they have the mixed cup at DTV and now it's always a really fun one to watch because it's not just one girl and one guy. It's three girls, three guys. So it's an even bigger team and it's awesome to see that in gymnastics because we grow up going to male only meets and then female only meets and to see them actually work together.
You know, I think that's beautiful. Yeah, nice. Nice. So, so, so all things looking forward, you know, I mean, it's just a real question.
What if you got that spot at the Olympics on that mixed group? Like, you know, I mean, like, you know, I love it. You even love it. Okay.
Everyone's like, Oh, it's an extra day of competition. And yes, that's hard. It is hard. But sometimes when there's an opportunity that's there, you forget about if it's hard because it's, it's something you want to do.
It's, it's, it's special. It's different. And I'm actually really happy to announce that even though, you know, there might be some mixed feelings about it and safety concerns. I get that.
But you can eliminate all of that into your training. Yeah. You can do multiple days of all around. And I know that sounds like it's bad, but it's a code's different.
It's a skill. It's less hard on your body. But I think it just comes down to your training and who wouldn't want an extra opportunity to earn a medal. So, you know, through that, exactly through that.
Yeah. Just a small segue. This is a little bit in that vein. But because, you know, you talk about the men and women working together, you know, when this all came about, this came about, you figured out this, you know, this suspension aspect at on tour.
You know what I mean? So you were there, you know, because obviously we're communicated and all that stuff. And this is, like, and that's why I think it's a strong tie in that male and female gymnasts are actually, we don't, they don't always train together. But you guys are together together.
You know, you've been doing it for so many years. And you had the entire, you know, you had everyone there when this happens. You know, just explain a little bit what that that community was like in the situation. It's amazing.
I really do see why everyone says, as a gymnast, if you go on towards one of the best experiences in your life, it's because we became a family. We got to train together, laugh together, eat together, hang out together, you know, everything together. And it was just so fun to be in that environment and go out and perform together and embrace the fans and embrace, you know, the five to seven shows a week and brace the bus rides. It was just, it was so fun because you really got to know everyone on a very personal level and share stories that you might not think you'll ever hear from Simone Biles or Brody Malone or Shane or Fred Kevin, even the dancers that were there.
It was just a time to be a gymnast. Like that is the ultimate goal is to go into these giant arenas, sold out crowds and perform on a different nerve. Like I got there and still, but it's like you want to do well because, you know, everyone in the tour, whether you're choreographer, a director, a runner, stage manager, equipment, and stuff, you know, you're doing it for them because everyone gets to see on a personal level how much it takes to run this tour. So I wanted to do well for them.
I wanted to do well for the fans. I wanted to do well because I also knew this was probably one of the last chances. I'll be doing gymnastics for a while. But, you know, even on tour, when I found out I was being suspended, I didn't try and hide it.
I played one up to the director and I was like, hey, I mean, I have a team meeting and let everyone know that I'm being suspended. I need to let everyone know that maybe I couldn't be doing this. So I try to be really respectful and let everyone know ahead. So no one was like shocked on tour because we always had a show and I did one.
People seen the news and then like kind of getting surprised by it. So I really try to tell everyone at appropriate time and I really had a meeting the day I found out I was being suspended. Yeah. Yeah, no, like, towards the, I would imagine I've never been on tour, but, you know, formed in like a circuit, you know, it's a different type of nerd.
So the different, like, you know, I mean, it's, you know, it's, it's, I found it to be actually almost a little bit harder because, you know, I know, team competitions, you have your own that, but it's also like, you know, I have so many people, you know, I mean, everyone does it should be doing, you know, I mean, you gotta be in the right spot at the right time because it's not. You know, I think you work by yourself. But then we do shows, it's like, no, you have to work with people. It officially becomes a team sport and show for gymnasts.
So yeah, that's the experience that it was like for me when I started performing. And it was awesome because, you know, maybe if some people were missing a show, other people would fill in. So I remember Fred was actually missing a show and I haven't practiced, I didn't practice any of the dance. Nina, Olivia, well, one of the dancers.
We kind of walks through it, but I think maybe a few days before I had a film for Fred, we really walked through everything. And I was nervous because it's all the footwork. It's all about hearing music, when to land. It's the motion side behind it.
So it was honestly really beautiful to see that side of performing production. And I fell in love with it. I wish we could do a tour every single year or a gymnastic showcase every single year and put on a show for all these fans that support us. I think it's incredible if we can pick a few cities and put on a show and just throw out and do skills and show that some gymnasts can't dance.
I think that would be fun. Yeah, yeah, just can dance. I know you go mad about that. I can dance.
I know that. So you join your time away, you know, what were your thoughts on gymnastics? I feel like a lot of major events happen. You had, you know, world championships, you have multiple world clubs.
What was your thought? I mean, I know you were strategizing to about your comeback and what type of skills you're going to do. But just overall, the word of gymnastics or gymnastics in America, what were your kind of thoughts? What were you observing from afar?
I was observing the star score as the most and seeing the range of all around scores because I can't really relate to individual events and how they're scoring them because I haven't competed eight skills ever. I was always in the 10th skill from level nine to elite. So I never really understood the eight skill, but I knew I could kind of range my start scores and kind of say, okay, well, if I average, getting one point, four to two points off every event, what all around score do I need to be competitive in the world? So I watched a lot of the competitions.
I watched a lot of the World Cups. I watched World Championships. So for me, I knew, you know, in my head and I wrote him down and I gave him a massage to the Gucci's that I wanted to compete by the Olympics. And he would tell me what I need to change with the new code with support skills like on P-bars or Last Pass on Floor, just everything in dismounts.
So I kind of knew the basis of where I need to get to be competitive in the world. But now that I've actually competed, I'm actually really surprised by my all around score with the falls I had and the mistakes I had and all of the skills that I left out. Because it's not like I haven't been training them. I just at the meet, we knew we were going to take skills out.
So to know that I had those falls and to start score value backup, I should be in the top three for start scores for US males. And I should be, you know, I don't know what Dikey's doing now. You know, this coming year because there hasn't been any major competition, but I should be above him as well. Wow, that's great.
That's great. You know, and you've been through something, you know, very publicly. There are a lot of athletes here, right? What advice would you give an athlete going through their own setback right now?
You got to find the grounds of why you're doing what you're doing, even if everything goes bad. And, you know, I actually thought about Brody's injury a lot during my time and how much he was out and what he accomplished from an injury to an Olympic medalist. And that kind of just showed me how bad things can get. But if you put yourself in the right mindset and you just stay kind of quiet to yourself and work through it and not set a time for yourself.
But just take it day by day and not think about, you know, in a year back. It was, it was for me, it was day by day, day by day. What can I do to be better? Even though there are things that I cannot do right now.
What can I do to get better? And I think that's what, you know, that's the advice I would give to anyone because I think if you think about a year away, you know, I'm out for two years or I'm injured this year, you know, that's going to mess with your head more. And if you can flip the mindset and think about what can I do today to get better? It doesn't matter if I reach my goal, but as long as I get better today, and at the end of the day, if I quit or don't quit, I can say that I tried my best and I can be happy with that.
I can be content and I can live on my life, even if I don't reach it. Because honestly, I was scared coming back for injuries. Like, from tearing me at Kiwis the first week back to not being able to get back in shape. I was nervous.
You know, I was like, this isn't a given. I am 29. I'm going to be 30 this year. Nothing's given.
So for me, I just had to take it day by day and not think about, am I going to make this or not? It was the effort that I was giving that I could be peaceful with. Wow, that's great. Yeah.
I tell myself the same thing. You know, take one day at a time. You know, it's that day. And of course, it's easier to send than done.
Yeah, you know, you're going to have bad days. You're going to have hard days. But that's what it takes to be successful in anything is you got to go through trials. You got to go through hard times.
You've got to be times where you feel like you're going to give up. But it's literally up to you to find a way. Wow. That's great.
You'll. That's great. You'll well listen, you. I really appreciate you doing this podcast and sharing your story to everyone watching.