what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper we call her daddy hey zane welcome to call her daddy i'm so happy that you're here we have to preface this with my fans are watching this like where the fuck are you guys we're in my childhood home daddy gang okay zane and i are in my living room that i grew up in zane got here and has had to look at all the embarrassing childhood photos of me thank you so much for coming i've never done it what did you say i didn't see any embarrassing photos i think you hit them all actually there's a couple you'll see them on your way out i have never done a podcast in my childhood home so this feels like a little sentimental also you never really do interviews when is the last time you did something like this i think i did an interview like six years ago last time i did one so we're kind of like popping the cherry back off i think so yeah something like that so you're living in pennsylvania and i obviously grew up here i loved it growing up it's very family oriented very suburban but i'm curious to know like of all the trendy spots that you could affect why pennsylvania um yeah it's interesting a lot of people ask me that like they always think it's a random to live out here um i ended up coming out here um with my ex a bit like and i fell in love with it like it was just super like calm and chill like you said suburban um and i just wanted to like take a break from like the busy city because like i was living in new york for three years at the time and um it just got a bit overwhelming you know like going out of your door to like this craziness all the time so i just wanted a bit more like um of a surrounding that like i'm used to like where i grew up um in bradford like in the uk it's a lot more this kind of pace and vibe so um i feel like i just fit in better around here than doing the trendy spots as it were yeah you give trendy vibes but i think i totally relate to that it's like sometimes when you get that yeah yeah you give trendy vibes like look at your outfit it's pretty swaggy but then you're also like hanging with the amish folks so it's like a good little juxtaposition thing okay but what i find interesting is i love that you said like you would be in new york city and i'm assuming you'd be going out there's paparazzi everywhere taking photos of you pennsylvania there ain't no paparazzi are they finding you or no no no there's not i think there's like laws and stuff they're not allowed to take photos in certain places oh that's amazing okay the most important question have you gone to wawa yet i have uh wawa's a nighttime lifesaver i was like how am i gonna get along with saying if he hasn't like had a love for wawa yet do you love it yeah like late night studio sessions there's nothing else open you have to go to wawa get the meatball so it is so fucking superior i remember growing up and my excuse whenever i would want to go like meet up with boys were like mom like i just want to go get a wawa sub and she'd be like she's in wawa's your cover up call her daddy is brought to you by dove have you guys heard that dove just dropped a dove reimagined version of the classic don't you to launch their new alcohol-free whole body deodorant a true 90s baby throwback moment the best part is that does new whole body deodorant is alcohol and aluminum free combining 72 hour odor control with nourishing skin care it's gentle anywhere you apply it which keeps you feeling hot not burned for external use only the new dove whole body deodorant alcohol and aluminum free learn more at dove.ca finding mental health support shouldn't leave you feeling more lost this mental health week your donation to cam h will be doubled from may 4th to may 10th every dollar you contribute will go twice as far to provide double the hope and double the impact for canadians facing mental illness and addiction let's build a future where everyone can get the care they need when they need it you can help us build better mental health care for everyone donate today at cam h.ca slash double that's cam h.ca slash double okay so i feel like again you're kind of this mysterious guy zane we don't really know too much about you you're kind of under the radar so can you take me through a typical day in the life of zane in pennsylvania like what are we doing make us feel like we're a part of your life um a typical day for me is uh it kind of varies depends you know like what kind of mood i wake up in but i take it pretty easy like i just um either now because obviously i've got my like 50 percent of the time it's it's a balance between the two things but when i'm by myself a typical day is um i'll probably wake up around like midday have a shower eat some food um and then like figure out if i'm gonna go to the studio do some writing because i've been in like writing mode for a long time just like working on my records and stuff so just yeah just getting into the studio pretty much and then i'll be there like all day until i go to sleep are you uh are you someone that likes to be alone um i like my own space um i like to um collect my thoughts in like a more quiet environment um i feel like when there's a lot of people around it kind of like just gets a bit hectic for me yeah i just i like to chill by myself from time to time but i don't mind hanging out with people now like on occasion you know i'm saying like it has to be the right kind of environment and i have to like want to be there you know no i get that i guess also growing up like i was recently talking to some of my audience i was meeting them in person like it's kind of weird when you just start to grow up you just get more specific with who you want to spend your time with i think that's a healthy thing obviously you're on a even bigger stage because you were around millions of people in stadiums and tours and everything but i also think that's kind of relatable it's like you know what sometimes i want to be alone and then also hang with people but like you gotta be good company yeah i've always thought like um it would be you know a pretty normal reaction to feel that way around so many people i think anybody who's like overwhelmed in that manner would feel you know a certain type of way about it but um i'm definitely learning to manage it a lot better like um as i'm getting older like it's it's more of a choice you know rather than a hindrance it's not like i can't do that it's like i'd rather prefer not to yeah that makes sense i own it a bit more yeah you obviously love music but can you share with us like what are some of your other hobbies what are you passionate about what's other music um like my main passion i think outside of music is art i love to paint and i love to draw um i do a bit of cooking okay tell me one of your dishes come on i can't cook a lot of different things um but i like to cook meat like specifically like um i have a smoker outside and i like to smoke like lamb and i cook like my like i'll do like real vegetables with it and stuff oh is it like new or were you always good at cooking i wasn't always good at cooking unfortunately for me my mom kind of spoiled me as a kid so when i was living by myself like at 17 doing some boss jobs done for some meals yeah it wasn't wasn't great some some disgusting uh stuff was going down yeah horrible yeah just sandwiches you know out of like crisps that's kind of nice to be able to know like you can cook you're over there painting you can sing okay no big deal don't keep ragging over there wow you guys all look bad do you have animals i do yeah i've got a lot of animals i have three cats three dogs do they go along uh they're kind of like in different places i have some dogs at one part of my house and the cats in the other um the we have three turtles six chickens do you name them all no i haven't not this time i got two attacks last time and it made me really sad yeah i took i took my chicken to the vet um to get a scan because something was wrong with her and the vet laughed at me and said people don't bring chickens here um and then they still charged me for an x-ray and then i took my chicken all the way home and cried and she died in my house what are you saying i'm like not laughing because it's funny it is kind of funny but not because the chicken died but it's funny seeing me take a chicken and when you say you're holding your chicken are you holding your chicken like this yeah fully on my lap yeah she died in my lap so you weren't crazy for going to vet no yeah she had something wrong with her we tried to rescue them they're going to be uh slaughtered i think um and uh they had all kinds of things wrong with them yeah but i've got new chickens now they're all healthy and stuff i didn't name them for that reason okay and what are the names of the cats salem uh dobby and veto dobby is that from harry potter he's a sphinx he's a pink sphinx yeah so he looks a little bit like dobby that's so good you're a harry potter fan i'm a big harry potter fan zane i didn't know that about you i wouldn't have pegged you as like a harry potter guy this is like really good vibes it was good my thing as a kid yeah that's really good okay what are the dog's names um zion zeus and thumpa thumpa with an f with an f yeah thumpa thumpa like thumpa but with an f how'd you come up with that uh bambi thumpa but you wanted an f yeah thumpa i thought sounded better yeah this is better in my accent thumpa yeah that sounds pretty good um something i love to do on call her daddy is like where we came from who we were raised by our environment growing up obviously you living in pennsylvania right now is so different from where you grew up in the uk in bradford like you described can you explain to people that may not be familiar with bradford like what was your upbringing like and what was that environment like um where do you want to start just where it feels right uh yeah bradford's not obviously like pennsylvania in terms of you know like the wealth and the way that it's like you know looked after taken care of it's um it's uh impoverished community you know there's people below working class that um that have you know a hard environment that they're growing up in you know everyone's kind of got some issues going on at home or something's happening you know even if it's on the street or whatever wherever you go there's there's a lot of um confliction you know um so it was very different to um to hear in that sense for sure but um i'm very grateful for where i grew up because it definitely like you said shaped and molded a lot of um identity for me um early on i was questioned you know like interrogated about my identity because of my environment like it's just the way it is like you have to have a good understanding of who you are um and i'm really grateful for that you know it helped cement um my own identity myself i think when you talk about like people would question your identity i know your family's not from the uk your family is pakistani and i'm curious is that my father is my mom's english okay so are you saying like is that how that was influenced no not necessarily just in every sense of the word like even like your fashion the clothes you want to wear the way you want to cut your hair it was always something was questioned you know if you weren't doing the norm that was like that everybody was doing or everyone was following you know everyone would wear a set of pants or a set of shoe and if you weren't dressed that way you would get questioned about it you know like people would be very like in your face and be like give you shit so you have to like have a bit about you so that you could you know know who you were and have a conversation back have a bit of wits about you as you know street smart you want to be able to like hold your own exactly yeah and when you say people are coming at you is it more like peer dynamics of or is it more like authoritative things yeah there's a mix of everything it's um it depends you know there's the peer pressure in schools and stuff but then it's on the street if you go out there and stuff if you're just trying to have a good time you know like it's not um as friendly fun you know it's a bit more like um irate there's a bit of aggression going on you know what i mean talk to me about where you grew up like are you in an apartment are you in a condo oh no i grew up in a terrace house um uh in a rented property and we never owned our own house um so yeah it was it was a small house there's like three bedrooms kitchen living room but the streets like are all like every house is like stuck next to the one next to it you know i'm saying so there's no space you have a garden that's like like you know for maybe a dog to sit um so yeah it's a bit different for sure yeah so you have three sisters okay and so you are the one boy and three sisters what was it like growing up with all mostly women around you like how do you think that shaped you um i feel like i learned a lot of things like early on um my sisters are very opinionated you know they're very um strong characters um and uh yeah i love them they're great they're a lot of fun yeah it was entertaining in the house for sure i love i really love when i meet a guy and you can just tell that he has sisters because you can just tell the way they move around women you guys learn what a fucking tampon is earlier i had to go to the store and buy them wow so you were like really supporting that time of the month terrified but supportive okay were you reluctant to go to the store and buy anything definitely not it was just kind of weird like when the shop people asked me like why i was buying them and i'm like obviously i'm not buying them for myself you know like do you have to ask me that like just let me buy this you wouldn't stick like a couple extra snacks around it you're just like tampon we can have money for extra snacks it was just it needs to me yeah saying like i'll take the supers these bitches the other way around but yeah exactly it was always an awkward conversation but yeah i didn't mind it i respect it i really do okay to people obviously that weren't there in your childhood how would you describe your personality as a kid um my personality as a kid i think i was a bit of a cheeky cheeky chappy yeah i used to mischievous used to get into all kinds of just childish stuff you know like climbing in places i shouldn't have been and falling out trees and smashing windows and stupid things yeah oh with a football accidentally of course you know right right for sure for sure so you were getting in trouble yeah just like childish stuff yeah not too serious yeah the climbing trees exactly yeah exciting shit okay so you were kind of just like doing your thing as a kid but i also think the way that you're describing the environment that you grew up was there a way that you could have gone down the wrong path easily because of that environment it was easy to get wrapped up in the wrong crowd oh definitely i think there's always an opportunity to go and do something that you know uh would have got you in like serious trouble um i was uh really lucky in the sense that like my mother and father like were super protective of that environment my dad was aware of you know the things that were out there and he always explained stuff to me from a young age um and uh kind of kept me away from that if i'm being honest and that's where like i developed into being a person that likes to be by myself and like in my room like singing recording writing i got into you know poetry and things like that because i was in my room a lot like um and i didn't like to be in them kind of environments it was just a bit too much you know i was always a bit more of a reserved kind of guy a bit you know artistic wanted to do my own thing i didn't really want to be in that so my parents did a good job of keeping me away from it i think yeah did you get along with kids in school were you like the cool kid were you bullied like what was the vibe yeah i think i got on with with pretty much everyone but i wasn't like i was the type of person who only had like two three close friends i didn't have like a big group like i knew people people knew of me i don't think i was the cool kid but i wasn't bullied either yeah like if people knew me they were friendly with me yeah i feel like a lot of kids we always have that like memory maybe it's financial maybe it's something with the parents or siblings or extended family like oh like a childhood memory that you remember your family kind of just being like stressed or going through something difficult kind of like if you could remember kind of childhood memory that you remember just being like stressed about something in your life like looking back at like childhood stresses like i feel like a lot of them were so like finicky that they're just probably just some teenage shit you know i mean it wasn't anything important um so i don't really look back at things like that in my personality the way i am like i i've never really like looked back and being like oh yeah this is one thing that like kind of was you know a stressful thing i think life is interesting like that i think you know it depends on what you're going through at that time and how you feel then you can reflect on it at a different point and feel completely differently it's so interesting i have a lot of respect even for you answering it like that because i know that you've been open about like at one point your family being on food stamps and i feel like a lot of people would sit here and that may have been the answer right that would have been like well fuck like i couldn't even i didn't know where my next meal was and you're like oh you know maybe it was childish shit like no big deal it's like that's interesting if you yeah no and obviously there is there was some serious things like that for sure too but i don't look back at it in terms of a negative light you know it all helped to like shape a mold who i am and make me grateful for the things i have now you know yeah so we are here because you can sing when did you first realize you were passionate about singing and you could sing um i think i was about 11 12 um i'd sung a little bit before like i'd done a bit in like school choir and stuff um funny story i actually fancied like these three girls that were in choir um they were triplets and that's why I just was like, I'm going to be in choir to hang around these girls. And then it developed from there when I went into high school, I went to a performing arts college, like specifically like majored in sports and performing arts. And they were doing the school production that year for Greeks and I auditioned. And nobody could sing, like at all, like in my whole school.
And I went and did this like singing audition. I was like, whoa, you can sing. And then my music teacher like recommended that I get like a couple of singing lessons and stuff. And then she said, I think you've gone X Factor.
I think you've got a good chance. Like, and it just kind of went from there. I love that the story started with, you know, there were these three triplets and it just felt right to join choir. I was like eight as well, by the way.
I was like, I got to get in that class. I need to just spend this time. Right. So like your natural, just like boy interest ended up, you realized something that you had a true talent from the triplets to X Factor.
So it's so funny too, because you say you wouldn't be where you are without your mom because you didn't want to get out of bed the morning that you had the X Factor audition and your mom made you go. Why did you also not want to go initially? I think it was just nerfs. I built it up in my head and I was like, yo, this is a massive thing and I was like, I think I'm going to go today and my mom's like, you are going, you're going right now.
You're going to go see what happens. So yeah, definitely owe it to her for that. And so did you like practice? You were practicing for it.
Yeah, but I had no idea, no clue. Like they told us like we had to have like a backing track, like a karaoke version and like I was sort of like inexperienced at that time and I didn't even know what that was. So like I was just planning on singing acapella so I was just going to do it like without anything and it was so weird for me to just to sing it on a backing track. It's because I've seen that forms back a few times and cringes every time I watch it.
So yeah, it's not my best vocal performance. There's a lot of nerves involved there for sure. But clearly there was something in there, Zane. There's some talent.
Yeah, there's some potential. Acapella and he just nails it. When you look back at that moment, obviously, is it like surreal? Like if you even have to like watch it back, like does it even feel like a lifetime ago?
Yeah, it does. It feels like so much longer than it actually was because so much stuff has happened in that time. Yeah, it's very interesting, very surreal. And I feel all the nerves I get like when I watch it.
Like I feel like I could like give myself a hug, you know, be like, it's okay, bro. Because I'm literally I'm like holding onto the mic for dear life. Please, nobody hurt me. It's so good.
It's so good. So obviously then, X Factor, everyone signed in. Everyone came to you guys and they had this idea to invent One Direction. And then I think people I don't even know, like did you even meet anyone before they put you guys together?
Yeah, we knew each other like just from around because we were like a similar age and stuff. So naturally you speak to people who were like a similar age to you around there and stuff. And we were at boot camp together and I met Harry on my audition day because we both auditioned in Manchester. And we literally sat next to each other in the audition.
Oh, so it was like fucking MTV. He was sat right next to me. We spoke and I went in and did like a producing audition round and then he went in straight after me and we spoke a little bit there. So you were complete strangers.
That's good to know. Because I didn't know if they just threw you all together and then you were like You said it very well, obviously, you don't see all behind the scenes and stuff. But yeah, you spend a lot of time with contestants. Okay, got it.
Once you started obviously One Direction and you joined One Direction, like how quickly did your actual life change? Was it overnight immediate or was it a little bit gradual? It was kind of strange. The visual evidence of life changing, like people being outside of the studio and stuff was like when we were on the live shows, we started to get a fan base and an audience and you could see that people were paying interest in us.
So yeah, from that point on, it was kind of a bit crazy. Were you able to comprehend it? Not really. I don't think I comprehended it at all.
I think it's just a rush. It was just fun. And then repetitive fun over and over again eventually is going to take its toll. So then you look at a certain way when you're in that and it feels overbearing.
And I look back at it like it was a rush. It was fun. And it was something that was amazing. So of course I wasn't going to understand it.
It's not something I expected in my life but it was definitely fun for sure, yeah. Because it is so interesting. I think people forget you were 17 at the time. Yeah, 17, yeah.
My brother lived in his house at 17 and was picking his nose and going to wah-wah and trying to fucking get girls to pay attention to him and you were all of a sudden overnight become one of the biggest stars in the world. Can you help us commoners over here, Zane? Commoners. Commoners.
Can you help us understand what skyrocketing to that level of fame can do to you as an individual when you're by yourself at night, laying in bed trying to understand what is happening to you in your life? Yeah, you can definitely get into deep places of thought if you really reflect on it in that kind of manner. To be honest with you, I don't think I was even intellectually capable to do that at that age. I think it took time for me to process them things.
I think I've had to process it with an older mind and look at it backwards and be like, yo, this was why this happened and this is what happened and we took off at this point and this interview made this happen and this song made this happen and just decipher it as facts rather than in an emotional manner because emotion just seems to just blur things. Like, oh, I'm super famous. I just make music. I love singing and people seem to have an interest in it.
Yeah, a little bit. Just a little bit. No, I almost get what you're saying. You kind of have to black it out and just be present because if you stop to think about all of it then it's all going to come wash away.
Exactly, yeah. That's how I do. I don't black it out so much but I just don't overthink. It works for me that way.
Yeah, you just almost have to stay present because it's like, what else can you do? In the moment, yeah. Just enjoy it and then in 10 years time you can look back and be like, this is what happened. Now you can look at it in hindsight and be like...
If you have 10 years time. Right, right, right. Yeah, but you've had time probably now to be like, whoa, in your quiet moments now in life where you can actually sit and dissect things that at 17, 18 years old again, like you said, I was just having fun. I was just going with it and also it's not like you were just on this solo tour.
Like, you were a part of something so that also probably affected it like, be a good team player. Like, go with the flow. Like, do what you got to do. Obviously, your guys' fans are insane.
They're obsessed. They're still obsessed. They're everywhere. They love you guys.
Can you share any like, memorable fan moments that you remember to this day that have stuck with you of just like anything that happened that you're like, damn. I've probably said this a lot of times but honestly, it was one of the craziest and most bizarre moments ever. I remember coming out of a studio once in Sweden when we were recording What Makes You Beautiful and this is before even we dropped off our single and there was like a row of like maybe five, six bins, like trash cans like outside the studio and I came out and like every single one of the trash cans opens and there's like three people inside of each trash can and they tried to like grab me and it was a very memorable moment. That was for sure, yeah.
I think I had a mini hat tag. Humans popped out from garbage cans and tried to grab you. It's like a fucking video game. It will swallow you into the trash can.
What? What? Oh wow. Do you think that in any way That's dedication though, right?
Like to get into a trash can. Zane, they were willing to get in the trash bucket for you. Motherfuckers, they are loyal. They are.
Do you think that those kind of moments though, not that we don't love the fans but like people being so obsessed with you, like is there any lingering paranoia from people constantly staring at you and following you? No. No, not really. I don't have paranoia in that sense, no.
That's good. You sleep well. Yeah, I do. I sleep in Pennsylvania.
I can hear the crickets. It's amazing. There's no crazy people out there. Go on crazy in Pennsylvania.
That's debatable. You're performing in front of massive crowds and I know you're kind of saying like you were in the moment but like were you able to just easily get in front of all these people? Was there no fear or anxiety that came with like standing in front of thousands and hundreds of thousands of people when you're on stage? I think there was but I don't think we had time for it.
Like there was no like you have time to have anxiety or be nervous you're just kind of going to go do it. You know, like get on with it. So yeah, we just, I think we just got thrown into the deep end and we kind of just had to swim. You know, like and I feel like we did a good job like in terms of like, you know, the keeping it together and making the music that we were meant to make.
I think I got at the right time and if I'd done it any longer it might have affected me a bit more but I think we did the right amount, you know? I think it's interesting too because when you look at bands or even just like any brand that had like multiple people attached to it like everyone loves to put archetypes with people like the Spice Girls for example. Perfect example. You have to label everyone.
And so for a boy band it would be like the boy next door like the bad boy like the brooding one or the funny one. Like what persona do you think you played? This would make out that I was like the brooding serious one, yeah. But that wasn't necessarily my personality type.
I think it's just a marketing scheme. You know, you got the Teletubbies, you got Spice Girls, you got whatever. Like it's just a marketing scheme, you know, like oh, this is this one. So I get it but I don't think you can define an entire person to one personality trait, you know, a little bit more complex than that.
Yeah, I don't know what my trait would have been if I'd have given myself one. It might have took a long time to come up with one if I was going to do that so I could see why they just said, oh yeah, you could be the mysterious one. Yeah, it's interesting. I love the Teletubbies reference.
You're like the Teletubbies, the Spice Girls one direction. I'm like the fucking Teletubbies. Yeah, I think Simon was behind the Teletubbies too. Oh, stop.
Yeah, and the Power Rangers. It's so fucking crazy. It's all coming full circle. It's all coming full circle.
Fuck, no, but it's just things I was going to ask. I agree, you kind of have this like brooding mysterious personality and that's why I'm excited to sit down with you today because again, those stereotypes that were put on to people, I'm curious if, first of all, who comes up with that? Marketing people, I guess. Yeah, it's not like the fans.
It kind of just happened. Well, yeah, and maybe some of the fans kind of like naturally say this too, you know what I mean, from like pictures and things like that. So did you agree, so you didn't agree with it, but do you think you leaned into it more or do you were like, I think I just had one face to pull, you know, I was doing the Zoolander. Like that was it, you know what I mean?
I was only a kid, I didn't know what else to do. I get it. If anything, maybe it made it easier because this is just my lane. This is me.
Just stick with this. I want to ask too many questions. Do you think you're mysterious? Not really.
I just like to just like chill, you know, I like to be in the back a little bit. Yeah, I'm a bit more relaxed. I'm not like trying to like be in the face, you know? You're not trying to jump in front.
Yeah, exactly. Hey, well now you're solo, so you got to jump in front, and we're going to get there. Take the reins. I love how you kind of mentioned, you know, you got out at the right time, and I think that you leaving the band obviously shook the fucking world, and everyone was like, Zane, like no, like keep it together.
But I think what again we forget is you're a human being, and you clearly had to take care of your mental health and do what was best for you. Can you, I know you've lightly talked about this, but just so we get a full circle moment, can you just take us back to that moment of like actually sitting with yourself and knowing it was time to leave? Yeah, I think I've known for a minute. There was a lot of, look, I don't want to go into too much detail, but there was a lot of politics going on.
Certain people were doing certain things, certain people didn't want to sign contracts, so I knew something was happening. So I just got ahead of the curve. If I'm being honest with you, I was like, I'm just going to get out of here. I think this is done, and I've just seen it, and I completely selfishly wanted to be the first person to go and make my own record.
To be completely honest with you, I was like, I'm going to jump the gun here for the first time. I'm a passive dude when it comes to my music and my business obsessed about it, and I'm competitive. So I wanted to be the first to go and do my own thing. That was the reason.
And then there's obviously underlying issues like within our friendships too. We've been together every day for five years, and we got sick of each other, if I'm completely honest. We were close, we've done crazy things with each other that nobody else in the world will ever understand or have them experiences that we've shared with each other. And I look back on it now in a much fonder light than I would have, as I just left.
There were great experiences, I had great times with them, but yeah, we just run a course. I love that you're saying that too, because I think people can relate to that. If you're with the same people 24-7, no shit. And I think I can imagine as you guys were younger, everyone was so idealizing this band that you couldn't say that back in the day.
Like, yeah, we got fucking sick of each other. It was time to do our own things. And I think that's so okay, but because there was this obsession, obviously, I get it. There's this out there.
For sure, yeah, it's an idea, isn't it? I don't want much friends. You don't want Joey cutting off Chandler, you want these people to be best friends. It's an idea.
Yeah, you want them to stay together forever, but I also think it's so healthy because imagine if you hadn't ended it, then you really would fucking hate each other and being able to go on your own way. Also, someone always has to be the first one to leave. And maybe it's the best thing for it, but in the time, I can imagine there's hurt feelings. Were you afraid of what the world was going to think of you when you made that decision?
I don't think I was afraid. No. I just, the first thing I wanted to do was call my mom, as cheesy as that sounds. I just wanted to call her and be like, is it okay if I come home?
Like, is this good? And she was like, yeah. So as soon as she said that, I was like, yeah, I'm good. Like, I'm done.
Like, I'm over this. I didn't really care about what anybody else thought. That's the type of person I am. Like I've been talking about earlier, I try to close them opinions off.
I'm not really the type of person who defines myself on other people's opinions of myself because people know me and know me well. They know who I am. And I spend that time on them people and make sure that they, you know, look after and they get that time with you rather than the people that I'm never necessarily even going to see or, you know, have a conversation with. Especially if it's a negative remark, you know?
Positive remarks are always nice. I don't really pay attention to either of them, if I'm being completely honest with you. They just don't let it get in my head. I think that's so smart because I think social media, even if you're not famous, like everyone is feeding themselves and their worth by what other people are saying about them.
And it's like, you good with your family? And like, I don't mean family by blood. Like, you may not be with your family. Yeah, people that you have around you.
Yeah, your circle, yeah. And as long as they're good, then that's all that matters to me. Wait, but did you not tell your mom you were doing it? I did not tell my mom I was leaving.
Yeah. No, it was that kind of spurred moment. Like, I not told her beforehand, like, oh, I'm thinking of leaving. I just called her on that day and that I was leaving and said, I'm coming home.
He's like, okay, have you still got a bed for me? She was like, yeah. Please, stop. Yeah, man.
So my dad wasn't so cool by it. He was like, no, no, you've got to stay with Simon. Simon's going to stay right. Like, don't come home, stay there.
But my mom was like, yeah, you can come home, please, son. Come home, you know? Oh my God, that's actually really cute that the person was like, mom, do you have a bed for me? She's like, let's go.
Because didn't you also buy your mom when the first thing you did with your success was you bought her a home? I did, yeah. How cool was that to be able to buy your mom something? It's amazing, yeah.
It's a great feeling. Wild. Okay, so you leave the van and take me to when you're laying in your mom's home, you're in bed, what were those next couple weeks like for you, like mentally and emotionally? It was interesting.
I was just trying to get stuff together. Like, I wanted to get like a plan of action, you know what I mean? So I was like on a bit of a mission. I wasn't there too long.
I went home for a little bit and then I went back to London and started working and stuff. That must have been so stressful too because I feel like, I guess we see it in various different forms, but like if you make a jump, even if someone quits their job, right? They're like, I need to prove to myself and other people that like, I now can do it. Like, and so did you put pressure on yourself when obviously you came out being solo?
Like, were you fucking nervous? Yeah, for sure. It's a very different experience on stage by yourself too. Like, it's a whole different workload as well, singing three and a half minutes of a song completely by yourself.
Like, when you've got a song that you've got to do five people, you're singing a little bit of a verse, maybe some ad libs, you know? I prefer the workload, to be honest. You're like taking a nap in the back. You're like, Dave, you're fucking...
Yeah, oh yeah, nice one. But yeah, I just kind of had to like make an adjustment. I'd start practicing a lot more, singing a lot more and just like making sure I could sing for three minutes. Right, you have to be like, I need to get back to my Let Me Love You days where I'm like, back to my back faster, it's just me.
I'm curious and I don't know because I know you were saying I totally respect it. Like, you're kind of just in this phase of going, going, going, you don't have time to stop. did go solo and you left did you have to take any moment to be like who the fuck am i independent of now not being a part of something that i was identified as in media um yeah definitely i think that's why um i took the time i have to like not even necessarily do interviews and do too much like press exposure because i feel like we were so overexposed in the band like it takes a bit time for you naturally to progress as a human and give something else that is interesting that you have to say you don't want to be sat there just saying the same shit on repeat you know i mean day in day out like i think there should be a good healthy break in between and that was my approach to it for sure so um i feel like uh in terms of you know figuring out what your identity is as an artist only you're going to do that is by living you know you can't just be on the convey about unexpected having some experience that's new that you're gonna give people i love that too because i feel like people especially creators there's such a stress about taking a break and it doesn't mean you're actually taking a break you could be working your ass off yeah but like popping out of not doing it in the spotlight yeah and you were able to just not have anxiety about it like i know i'm coming back but like i gotta just be good on my own shit and not be fulfilling the tabloids and everyone else like how am i on my own right exactly yeah that's that was all behind it for sure so you start doing your own solo music and i remember when you came out pillow talk all the good stuff you popped off and it's like really dope to see you coming out with your own sound and creative and it's you and that's exciting to know like you are producing this and it's not obviously a no shade to one direction but like you're one of five like you can't really have a full say in shit now this is you when you started on your solo career like was there anything that you really wanted to make sure that you could bring to life that maybe you weren't able to when you were in a band creatively creatively i just wanted to talk about things you know that were a bit more real like an authentic um to situations i was going through in my life like obviously certain things that we talk about in the band was always very you know clean cut like just glazing over the top not really any depth on your stories to what's going on um and that was always a big thing for me obviously i understand again from the marketing team that like the audience and the fanbase we were appealing to that point was that kind of act so it was never going to work um for that kind of audience but yeah i just wanted to show people that a bit more depth yeah yeah i get that because like even earlier you said like you like to write poetry and i'm like i can only imagine how much the writing process is therapeutic and you get to infuse parts of yourself and your identity whereas that just like wasn't in the past which it should have been like it was a band it was great whatever but now you can actually artistically exercise that part of yourself which must be i think it's difficult for people to write something from one perspective you know like there's five of us in the room we used to write sometimes and it was so hard to get us all to like have the same viewpoint and i want to talk about the same thing um so in that sense from a creative point it is uh a lot more freeing for me like i can fully get to grips with every part of it you know the melody the story the production the emotion the feeling that i'm trying to convey in each song so in that sense it's super liberating it's cool because i i think you're getting now we're getting to know you a little bit better now that you are doing solo music but do you think do you think that the world even like slightly knows zayn yet um i don't know um i i try to uh like move in a certain way that you know hopefully i will still have some jokes you know i don't want to give everything all they will go so um if they don't know everything yet that's okay but hopefully they get to know me a bit better you know see they get to see my thought patterns still a little bit serious yeah i'm trying i'm trying i'm trying to be okay how about this describe yourself in three words describe myself in three words um well i'm definitely gonna use mysterious that's one of them um i would say um i'm a chill funny loving guy all the girls watching this are like ah so nice that's so nice what's your favorite thing about yourself um i don't know i think i think i like the fact that i'm i'm pretty witty like i'm pretty smart like i enjoy that about myself i think you're good company with yourself yeah yeah i enjoy that i'm pretty smart i have a laugh to myself you know about um what's your least favorite thing about yourself um i'm a bit sensitive sometimes yeah not in a bad way yeah i can take things the wrong way sometimes i'm definitely working on that give me an example i just like tend to like if somebody says something to me like i'll take it the wrong way if i really care about their opinion what they're saying to me got it yeah then you'll get upset yeah i think that's good though that means you care right yeah like i said with the people that are close to me right do you think you at times can be too caring in moments that you need to learn to like i'm learning to be a bit more tamed with it yeah full boundaries yeah no not boundaries just like i'm just learning not to like get in my head about certain things you know um across the board like i i exercise that well in terms of like dealing with the media and things like that but i don't necessarily do that too well in my personal life sometimes i think it's hard yeah that's good though again it doesn't even care but i get it yeah but then i'm over here like dying inside i gotta like muster up the courage yeah yeah put that into a song okay give us one that's like really sad i've got a few i've got a few this is what we need okay we need some criers we've got some cry moments what do you think is the biggest misunderstanding about you um that i'm like super serious like i like just i'm like super stern and serious yeah all the time and i'm not like um i'm just chill i know that like a lot of people have like um high energy personalities and it's just not the way i am you know i'm saying i'm just a bit more relaxed about things it's actually nice to be in person with you because i could see in media it could come off i get it like serious you're literally just chilling you're relaxed you're cozy in your sweater there's thunder there's rain pennsylvania came to your mom's house call her daddy is brought to you by dove have you guys heard that dove just dropped a dove reimagined version of the classic don't you to launch their new alcohol-free whole body deodorant a true 90s baby throwback moment the best part is that dove's new whole body deodorant is alcohol and aluminum free combining 72 hour odor control with nourishing skincare it's gentle anywhere you apply it which keeps you feeling hot not burned for external use only the new dove whole body deodorant alcohol and aluminum free learn more at dove.ca let's talk about anxiety i know that you have lightly talked about it in times and i just want to talk to you about like how anxiety affects your life what has it done in terms of playing a part in your personal life in your career like just talk about what you're comfortable with uh yeah so i think we kind of touched on it a bit earlier like um when we're talking about you know like the the the nature of our job you know like what we're doing in the band and the situation being on stage for thousands of people um i think it's a really normal place to experience anxiety you know like you're gonna go and perform in front of you know a lot of different people you don't know who they are um and it's not a natural thing to do you know in terms of um everyday life you don't just talk to thousands of people you know um so it was something that i had to you know learn to uh adjust um anxiety for me i've learned is a feeling that now has worked you know um and i feel like for generations human beings have felt it not really even been able to put you know the finger on what it is um but we overcome it you know um and certain things in life can change your perspective on the things i think for me like since i've had my daughter and since she was born like the main thing in my mind is like trying to be a good example to her like in terms of you know i can do things and i can achieve things and i can overcome things and you can do this too um and to let things like you know a feeling stop you from doing that after having a child feels like a really small thing like i feel like i like have to step up you know as a man or just you know as a person um and be this example to her that doesn't uh succumb to these feelings that's why i'm even doing this interview you know like i used to get a lot of anxiety around like having a conversation like this just in this kind of environment and i want her to be able to look at me and be like yo my dad's doing this you know he's he's the man he's cool yeah he's a cool guy yeah so um that's helped me a lot for sure that is so fucking cool to obviously my mom's a psychologist so i grew up and i think mental health was not a conversation for most families and hopefully it will be but like i've watched so my mom talked to so many people and talked them through how to get over a panic attack how to get over anxiety how to not get over like manage it live with it be okay to go about your everyday life i think sometimes if you don't have anxiety people look at people with anxiety like just get the fuck over it and i think it shows up in everyone's lives in such different ways and i don't think that's the way you can look at you know i think everybody's situation is individual i think it takes an individual experience then to happen for somebody to overcome that too you know totally if you think about the first time you can recall in your life experiencing anxiety did you experience anxiety prior to fame for sure yeah take me to like a moment in your life where you like wow i didn't know that anxiety but now i do i enjoyed it that was the thing yeah like i enjoyed being in that feeling and they got to a certain point i think where it just became too much like it just was was weighing on me that feeling of um like anticipation and then getting the adrenaline and then that after feeling of that you know um as a young kid i loved it like i loved being on stage and i loved performing it was like a free space for me to go and be a character because it was you know i was playing a role in some little school performance it was nothing serious um when it became a thing that had a lot of weight behind it in terms of you know people watching stuff you can have um you can have natural feelings of anxiety yeah people staring at you judging you writing about you following you taking pictures of you that's a lot can you share with us like in the heyday of paparazzi and insanity like what would be something that would really trigger your anxiety in those days um just the idea of like um like not being able to just do normal things like to just go outside and like walk out onto the street you know like because where we lived it was kind of a bit crazy and there's just people always there like waiting to take a photo and stuff and obviously thinking about having a child and like raising her in that environment it's just very claustrophobic for me i didn't want to have to be like exposed to that because she didn't choose it you know like it was a choice that i made so i was like we need to get out of here so that she can have some chance of like a normal childhood you know where there's not cameras flashing in my face constantly let's talk about you being a father because it's really cool to see you talk about anxiety which again i have so much respect for even being able to talk about it because i know you're not that public about your life and that's something that you live with every day and to say like having a child has helped you overcome something that is like in your day-to-day that's like pretty debilitating in moments um yeah but you being famous and having a child like deciding to move here i can imagine you're trying to shield her from this life that you also are still trying to figure out like is it a lot um i feel like um there's a healthy way to do it you know um i'm not necessarily trying to shield her from it because she's she's gonna know you know if she at a certain point she's gonna have a certain level of awareness you know what's going on um i'm just trying to give her an option you know so it's like a choice for her like if she she wants to be away from it she can be out here like because i am a famous person and i get sanctuary here you know i'm saying so i feel like she um he's gonna have a lot of options and whatever she wants to do in her life obviously i'll support her for sure okay how has becoming a dad shifted your priorities in life um the crazy thing is obviously i have a 50 of the time so um that time i have with her is so important because i feel like she's growing up so fast like um so when i'm with her i don't work like at all i just spend a full day with her doing things that she wants to do like painting play-doh this that go to the park go to the theme park like we just have fun like and i feel like i've like re being uh rekindled my own childhood like through her you know i'm saying like i feel like we get to a certain point in adult life where everything's kind of vague and gray and boring and she's brought that color back for me for sure yeah um what is a dad quality that you've proudly taken on that makes you laugh a little when you think about it like oh my gosh i can't believe i'm doing this i keep being told i'm telling dad jokes and i'm leaning into it i'm just like it's okay it's cool like i'm using like christmas cracker jokes and stuff and it's really funny like people just look at me like i'm a weirdo i'm like yeah i'm a dad and i'm allowed to tell these jokes you have to give me a pass wow i didn't expect that i'm not gonna lie i love a dad joke you're like full dad vibe that's it yeah i love it i'm fully leaning in there is no stopping me oh you haven't cracked one here so if you want to you can always give us your best but you know what is your favorite thing to do with your daughter my favorite thing to do with her is um she shows a lot of sounds like um musical uh intelligence already so i just love like playing instruments with her and singing with her um like i'll sing and she sings along and she can do like good harmonies and stuff already she's only two and a half like and she harmonizes with me well and like finishes notes and she can hold them for a long time i'm like you might have a bit of ability to do um i'm picturing the two of you playing with play-doh and you start singing and then your daughter start singing yeah it's crazy i'm like yo oh you're good i didn't speak last three how much do you think oh wow and she remembers like four lyrics to songs as well like every word it's mad wow you got a superstar in her hands okay okay it's interesting to hear you say like you're singing to her which like oh i would have loved if my dad could have sang he can't um what are you singing to her and like what are her favorite songs that you sing she loves disney movies so we sing a lot of disney songs together and sing like you've got a friend of me so yeah she sings really cute honestly that's really cute thinking about you guys singing that call her daddy is brought to you by dove have you guys heard that dove just dropped a dove reimagined version of the classic don't you to launch their new alcohol-free whole body deodorant a true 90s baby throwback moment the best part is that does new whole body deodorant is alcohol and aluminum free combining 72 hour odor control with nourishing skincare it's gentle anywhere you apply it which keeps you feeling hot not burned for external use only the new dove whole body deodorant alcohol and aluminum free learn more at dove.ca um what qualities of yourself aside from like having that musical aspect more like personality like what qualities do you see from yourself and your daughter i think she's she's funny like she's a bit cheeky one day she likes a bit of joke and stuff and like laugh a lot um she's she's chill though but she loves reading as well um which is something i think she definitely took from me like she just has an affinity for words like she remembers everything has becoming a parent changed your relationship with your parents definitely yeah in a in a like respect way you know like you just have so much respect for the things that they've put aside for you you know like when you realize all the sacrifices that you make as a parent like just to be dead be present with your child like you can't have respect for that for sure i know you said like obviously you have for 50 percent of the time you want to make the most of these moments like what's something that you guys have done together recently that made you so happy you had such a great time we went to nickelodeon in new jersey oh my god it's so fun i enjoyed it it's like super childish but like i had a lot of fun i think i had more fun that is so good how is co-parenting going co-parenting is good yeah um we have a really good relationship for college she's the the you know the main importance yeah um so yeah it's going well yeah yeah okay i think things like uh for me yeah okay so i want to ask you if i can ask one question just about like as delicately as i can go about it i feel like i wouldn't be doing my job if i didn't ask about the 2021 incident i know you can't really speak on it i think obviously as a man you like there's a lot out there said about you and you basically took a high road and didn't say anything you kind of put out that like blanket statement just like i want to respect my daughter not saying anything exactly and i can imagine how difficult it is kind of like almost a culmination of everything we're talking about today like how do you balance when something is out there about you about your character that people are reading and speculating and saying things about you and how do you decide when you when to speak up and when to like be silent and like chill on it and not really go there yeah so for me like we talked about earlier i don't tend to get involved when people um say things online whether it's got something to do with me or whether it doesn't um because for me my most valuable thing that i have in life is time and that takes so much time in in a toxic environment to like explain yourself to people and justify this and so i just kind of keep to myself i knew what the situation was i knew what happened um and the people involved knew what happened too um and that's all i really cared about um if anybody um you know of the same mind would look at the situation i believe that you could respect that like i just didn't want to bring attention to anything you know i just wasn't trying to get into a negative back and forth with her any sort of narrative online where my daughter was going to look back and read that and be able to read into it just be something that was there was no point um i i believe i dealt with it in the best way like um in an amicable respectful way and that's all that needs to be said you know um yeah i just feel like it's a lot of negativity you know i can only imagine like first of all no fucking family is perfect and so to be on the stage that you guys are on i and like you said your family issues you know like if something happens in the family like i'd rather keep that between family you know you don't need a whole audience of people with opinions because it's hard enough to manage between two i more so just also want to give you the chance because i think you obviously handled it so amicably i also think in doing my job like this is a podcast where i'm trying to support women right and like reading headlines like i wanted to hear from you obviously because hearing you even today i don't know if like i'm just gonna say what it is like you have said you have 50 custody and so anything that we've all read online like well if that was true then that would have affected that so i think it's important to just say like me doing my job i just want to clarify like it's not like unless you can correct me like you don't have to have people with you while you're with your daughter and like you have custody of your child so i think it's just important to say because people are reading this like oh yeah for sure yeah i'm super full on yeah like hands on with my child every chance i can be if i could get 60 i would have it okay let's talk about your music you're coming back we're getting a song tell me what inspired the song what can we expect um yes i'm working uh well i've been working on um my record for a minute um and uh i have a single for the summer coming out called love like this that's like a standalone song um just a summer jam it's a good vibe like yeah it just feels like summer that's what i think we need we do need a good summer like someone asked me recently like oh like what's the song i actually said you know what like i'm interviewing someone i know they have a single coming out i have a feeling that could be the song summer are you nervous to go on stage like alone um i was yeah like when i first started like performing by myself i was i was nervous and i'm still nervous now because it's been a few years that i've been on stage but i have this like energy too like i feel like i have something to give and i want to get on stage and be there gonna feel that that's one thing i can say you know like my fan base has always been supportive in that manner they're always just like we're here we've got you like when you're ready we've got you you know like come we're gonna come listen to your tune so yeah no i gotta be um super thankful for that and i'm super grateful um and i feel that love for sure so i'm ready to to prove these people right you know can we expect any music inspired by your daughter on your records uh yeah definitely yeah i'm um i'm doing a i'm doing a record i don't think people are really gonna expect like um it's a different sound for me and it's got some like more narrative going on like real life experiences and stuff so yeah my daughter's mentioned in there a couple times wow i think that's gonna be so fucking dope to actually hear from you in long form essentially because an album is in long form like we're gonna get to know you more which is exciting again because mr mysterious over there we're still trying to understand things um okay what is something that you want your fans to take away from this interview i'd like my fans to feel like they got to know me a bit because you keep saying i'm mr mysterious so yeah no so i'm hoping they got to know me a little bit and they feel like they've seen me in court with me a bit and you know they can see me a lot more like and i want to know that like across the board like i've kind of had a full like mental rehaul and in the best way thanks to my child and you know being able to see things in a different light and um i'm gonna be a lot more present and hopefully people gonna see me a lot more i love it zane thank you so much for coming on color daddy this was truly a pleasure thank you for having me are you ready to take your savings to a whole new level during racketons big give week you can earn up to 15 cash back at the stores you love from may 4th to 11th the 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