Zoe: Two Positive NHS Hospital Births, Epidurals, Gender Disappointment, Childhood Trauma, Delayed Bonding, Morphine First Birth vs Epidural Only Second Birth

 Zoe always knew she wanted pain relief. But like a lot of women, she found herself surrounded by messaging that made her question that. Until a pregnant midwife said something that stuck with her. You don't get a certificate for how you have the baby. Zoe is a mum of two boys from West Yorkshire who shares two positive NHS hospital vaginal births, both with epidurals, and an honest account of the emotional journey into motherhood. Her pregnancies were smooth and uncomplicated, but her fears were never really about the birth itself. They were about whether she would bond with her baby. Whether she was supposed to be a mother at all. Growing up without the mother-daughter relationship she had always craved meant that becoming a mum felt like something she had everything riding on. Her first birth went well medically, but she was given morphine while waiting for the anaesthetist, which left her quite out of it when Leo arrived. What she was not prepared for was the night that followed. Alone on the postnatal ward at 1am, flooded with drugs, not knowing what to do with a screaming newborn, her husband gone. By the next morning, she was obsessed with him. Second time around she went in with knowledge and confidence, knew exactly what she wanted, and had a calm and positive experience from start to finish.In this episode we talk about:The advice from a pregnant midwife that gave Zoe permission to choose the birth that was right for herWhat it was really like to be alone on a postnatal ward in the early hours with a newborn and no idea what to doHow medication affected her presence at Leo's birth and why she made different choices second time aroundThe difference in bonding between her two births and why she felt guilt about the gapWhy Zoe thinks women need more honest expectations around postnatal care and support This episode is for anyone who has ever felt pressure to do birth a certain way when actually their gut was pointing somewhere else entirely.The stories shared on British Birthing Stories are real, personal experiences from real women. I am not a medical professional and this podcast is not a substitute for medical advice. Every pregnancy and birth is different, and I always encourage you to speak to your midwife or doctor about your own individual care.British Birthing Stories shares real, unfiltered stories of childbirth in the UK, from pregnancy and labour to postpartum recovery.These stories reflect personal experiences and should not be taken as or replace medical advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified healthcare professional.Follow us on social: Instagram · TikTok · YouTubeWant to come on the podcast? Get in touch and share your story here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.