Zuck reads your kids to sleep, pervert glasses, and dual class federal elections

DR1CEO OverlordsIn our 'Zuck saves kids from Mommies' headline of the week. Meta Working on Crushingly Sad AI App That Tells Bedtime Stories to Children, for “Tired” Parents*************** In our 'CEO overlords say the trick to getting a good career is figuring out how to please us' headline of the week. As millions of Gen Zers face unemployment, CEOs of Amazon, Citi, and McDonald’s say opportunity is still there—if you have the right mindset*************** In our 'If you have to ask why then you probably won't understand the answer' headline of the week. Why did a $154 billion CEO just endorse stripping most Americans of voting rights—and taking us back to the 19th century?***************Tobias Lütke, CEO/cofounder of ShopifyIn our 'Yeah, but they waaaaaaant it' headline of the week. The Type of Orbital Data Centers That Billionaires Want to Launch Into Space Would Wreak Ecological Catastrophe, Scientists Warn*************** In our 'Meglomaniac looks in the mirror, doesn’t like what he sees' headline of the week. Sam Altman says one of his biggest fears is that a small number of companies will control AI: 'That'd be very, very bad'*************** MM1In our 'I mean, it didn't ONCE tell me to kill myself!' headline of the week. Sam Altman says he got ‘addicted’ to TikTok, including a Saturday afternoon where he scrolled ‘for like 3 hours’In our 'Sorry, I was scrolling TikTok... what happened?' headline of the week. Sam Altman Announces That the Singularity Has ArrivedIn our 'Things that you can get carried away doing include ordering pastrami sandwiches, buying Christmas presents, and plucking your eyebrows' headline of the week. Musk Says He Got “Carried Away” With DOGE Cuts, Which Are Set to Kill MillionsIn our 'Zuckerberg announces another massive company rebranding: from Meta Platforms to Pervert Platforms' headline of the week. Meta Desperately Trying to Ban Creeps Misusing Its AI “Pervert Glasses”Does Mark count?In our 'Are boobs pecuniary?' headline of the week. Cracker Barrel CEO is out after MAGA backlash to "Uncle Herschel" logo changeAre logo changes pecuniary?  Isn’t the fact that a logo changed and it cost money and the CEO her job evidence that ESG data IS PECUNIARY? The logo is non-financial!  ESG for all!DR2In our 'Sorry, watching World Cup' headline of the week. OpenAI didn't realize its agent was responsible for hack for a week*************** In our 'What's next? Are they going to start wearing glasses?' headline of the week. Japan office workers cool off with shorts amid record-breaking summers*************** In our 'Come for the ethically sourced, single-origin dark roast stay for the Maltodextrin' headline of the week. Starbucks Powder Designed to Make Drinks 'Look Better' Makes Baristas Feel Worse*************** In our 'Hey Ma, why is it 215 degrees in my bedroom? Ask Dad' headline of the week. Startups are installing tiny data centers in people’s homes to reduce strain on the beleaguered electrical grid*************** In our 'Come for the child's game, stay for the crushing dystopia' headline of the week. Pokémon Mandates Facial Scans at Five Japan TCG Stores to Combat Scalping, Prompting Privacy Questions*************** MM2In our 'We tried HUMAN powered security cameras, and while that worked really well, it was really too nuanced and human' headline of the week. MIT Is Blanketing Its Entire Campus in AI-Powered Security CamerasFirm is AI-Rgus and it’s able to tell if your camera is tilted or blurryIn our 'We tried HUMAN powered relationships, but there was so much TALKING and CONNECTING and EMOTIONS' headline of the week. AI is quietly becoming an unofficial and potentially unwanted 'third' in relationshipsIn our 'Elon Musk said on Twitter that using a white font as a trick was racists against whites' headline of the week. Professor Hides White Font in Midterm, Catches Students Using AI in the Stupidest Way PossibleIn our 'You wouldn't be anxious about AI if you were plotting to kill it' headline of the week. Jeff Bezos says being lazy, not working hard, is the root of anxiety: ‘The stress goes away the second I take that first step’In our 'CHINA CHINA CHINA CHINA CHINA' headline of the week. China pours funding into green energy deals as Iran war hits oil demand