2 Gleeps

Uh oh. New Bankmas Eve just dropped. Right on time, and with no delay. What could Stephanie be up to in this one? Is it possible that she does more in this one than the last one? No. One thing that is really nice about Stephanie though is that she probably doesn't click her pen 500 times while she takes notes. :/   Do you want Noah to send you the Patterson-Gimlin Troll? [email protected]   Do you want Colton to send you the Patterson-Gimlin Troll? [email protected]  

The gleeps are back in town with another Bankmas Eve episode. I hope you remember what was happening in Stephanie's date book, because we sure don't. The book is finally starting to get exciting! There are three new characters in this chapter, including Baby T. Also, remember how the whole point of this book is the date and how to ruin it? Yeah. The date finally starts in this chapter...wait...actually...it doesn't. Oh well. Maybe next time.   [email protected] [email protected]  

The Gleepening is back. That means we finished another year of the pod. To celebrate we are talking about mimes and ghost hunters. There is a quick audio analysis before we start a rousing game of the fan favorite - mental tic tac toe. We also play hangman (which is really good in an audio format) because we are amazing podcast hosts. Also, we completely overhaul and fix every sport that exists. Every. Sport.   P.S. you are allowed to laugh at Colton because he doesn't know how to properly spell cantaloupe.   [email protected] [email protected]  

Another Bankmas Eve episode is here...who would've guessed. Seems a little late since it's February, but the show must go on. Will Stephanie Tanner finally tell us how to wreck a date in even one way in this episode? No.   [email protected] [email protected]  

Bankmas Eve 3 is back for a second part...and we all know what that means. With more Bankmas Eve 3 comes more of Stephanie Tanner's problems. Will we even learn one out of the ten ways to wreck a date in this part of the book? No. No we will not. SPOILER ALERT by the way.   [email protected] [email protected]

Today is Bankmas Eve, and to celebrate we are going to be reading from our favorite book. It also wouldn't feel right if we didn't revisit the Treasury of American Humor, for the first time in a long time, in order to tell let you experience the best story ever written. This is a full time reading episode, so buckle your belt and tie your shoes.   [email protected] [email protected]  

Wouldn't it be funny if cartoons were Chinese? No, I'm not talking about Chinese cartoons. I'm specifically talking about cartoons dubbed over by a Chinese guy. We also cast the actors for our brand new movie based on Rock, Paper, Scissors (we will discuss the plot at a later date if this episode gets two upvotes and/or if we feel like it). On top of all of that, Brad is back (yeah, same Brad), and Joey's not too happy. Also, bugle riddle.   Have you ever played naked lawn darts? [email protected]   Have you ever met any other poohs? [email protected]  

Noah is constantly finding teeth everywhere he goes, and the Tooth Fairy won't do anything about it. Colton has a brand new business idea. We also read some 60+ soup jokes and discuss the differences between our Thanksgiving dinners.   P.S. The pod picture was not changed to a picture of a buffet because it was downloaded was a WEBP file, just look up a picture of a buffet (furniture) for full immersion into this episode.   Want to know Noah's racist soup joke? [email protected]   Have you been keeping track of our pod sneezes? [email protected]  

cheesy roll up

This episode starts off like any other classic episode that we've ever released. We even delve into the inner workings of working at Subway, however; enjoyment can't last forever, not when the threat of the worst and most confusing fast food item ever created looms in the back of our minds. The cheesy roll up from Taco Bell is so disturbing, it took over this episode completely and also the next one.   Have you ever taken a sub class? [email protected]   Do you have any "birds have feathers" thoughts that I can add to my list? [email protected]  

This one is all about being kidnapped. Join us as we discover who Amber Alert really was, and learn about multiple different kidnappings. Don't worry, it's not all sadness and sniffles, we make sure to leave this episode with a happy ending...relatively speaking of course. I don't know, maybe riddles will cheer everyone up.   Have you been kidnapped? Email us and we will try to help you. [email protected] [email protected]  

This episode is a death episode. We start by discussing the presidential assassination attempt that everyone has been talking about. We then move our conversation to the famous killings of the London Stabber. And finally, Noah hatches a plan to enact a new law by explaining Budd Dwyer's death to Governor Tim Walz.   When do you think 'Ol James C. is going to die? [email protected]   Did you know the name of the Midnight Tipster before we figured it out? [email protected]  

It's story time in this one folks. We are leaving the Baja to take you all the way back to the good old days of one year ago to explain what exactly went down when we left on our westward expansion. Storms, coffee, and Cody...those words will mean a lot more to you once you've listened to the episode.   Do you have a lobster shirt? [email protected]   How many cups of coffee can you drink? [email protected]  

We are going back to school for this one. Colton doesn't remember anything, and Noah remembers too much. There's some talk about the war that happened in Mexico, and we try to get a GED so we can drop out in 8th grade. Also, is Scooby Doo racist?   Do you remember 2nd grade? [email protected]   Do you know how to crack an egg without making any omelets? [email protected]  

It's time to find out once and for all if we are smarter than a first grader. Afterwards, we start a group text chain with everyone we graduated with to plan a birthday party...well...not everyone we graduated with. Not everyone we graduated with is that great of a person. You will understand that more once we explain it to you. Also, Colton talks about his future plan for the podcast, and why he started the podcast in the first place.   Do nuts make you nuts? [email protected]   Do you verbs in English? [email protected]  

Vacation mode activated. The Gleeps are in the Baja. We don't know where that is, but it isn't important. Colton plans to run for office and he explains how he plans to win. A brief discussion occurs about how strokes actually work, which leads into a less brief discussion on whether or not babies like cinnamon. It sort of seems like it's just an acquired taste.   Would you let Colton feed your baby cinnamon? [email protected]   Are you voting for Pel E. in the upcoming election? [email protected]  

2 Gleeps is back, baby! And it's Maypril fools. The Gleeps explain the tribulations that they went through to mourn the passing of the inhabitants of the Titan submersible, and how, after all this time, they were finally able to come to terms with the fact that there was nothing to even mourn about. Ken Jennings has his super hero alter ego exposed in this episode. Also, Colton talks about his go to gift to give to his family at Christmas, and the lengths that he goes to in order to make sure it's memorable. Welcome to season 3 Gleeps.   IF YOU ARE COLTON'S FAMILY, PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE.   Do you know any time dealers? Please tell us how to find them. [email protected]   Did you hear the number station in the background of this episode? If you did, let us know where. [email protected]

Happy Valentime, exactly two years after this podcast started, this episode was posted. It is a special episode because I say it is. What makes it special? Doesn't matter. We talk about Asians and apes in this episode...other things too, but the other stuff doesn't matter.

Not much to bring up about this episode, except that Noah is going through second puberty. He also thoroughly explains how he is saving the world by killing bears. Also, Colton makes a ground breaking discovery about Native American Indians.   [email protected] [email protected]  

Bankmas Eve is back again. Probably a whole lot sooner than you thought. Unless you actually believed that we would only give you 47 minutes worth of Bankmas Eve celebrations this year. Just admit it. You got Bankmas fooled. We managed to get the whole gang together in this episode to discuss credit cards, game shows, and Sprite Remix. You know...all the most festive topics. Also, there is a bonus Gleep of Faith mini episode hidden inside this episode. You might be able to spot it if you keep your ears peeled.   [email protected] [email protected] [email protected]  

This one is all about falling. We want more people to fall and get hurt. WE DO NOT NECESSARILY WISH FOR PEOPLE TO DIE FROM FALLING (though we don't not necessarily wish for it either). Join us as we stumble our way through many different scenarios, and read poems that are only tangentially related. Also, congratulations if you've recently found out that you are having a clown.   This is the final poem that was mentioned in the episode that was too long to read - https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/42716/falling-56d22155e5c45   [email protected] [email protected]  

Bankmas Eve is back again. Join us in celebrating another day that exists solely to give banks another excuse to close for the day. We talk about a lot of things in this episode...and all of them are a secret. I say that mostly because I edited this episode many months ago, and have mostly forgotten what we actually talk about. Enjoy anyway though.   [email protected] [email protected]  

Ruffles, presidents, philosophers, riddles...this episode has it all. Also, somehow we went an entire episode talking about philosophers without asking who Phil Osopher was, so I put it in the title to forever shame us for missing the most obvious joke of the episode. Thank you, and goodnight.   Do you like Ruffle chips? [email protected]   Do you like Ike? [email protected]  

Welcome back to Gleep of Faith. You probably thought this was a one a done series...wrong. This time we discuss everything to do with everyone's favorite drink. But before we talk about breast milk, we also talk a little about everyone's favorite state of matter when it comes to corn...syrup.   [email protected] [email protected]  

The Gleeps are officially back with this new batch of episodes. I guess you could even consider this "season 2"...only if you want to though. You don't have to.   Colton is having auto problems. Noah is having autoimmune problems. Colton is a terrorist. Noah is inventing Spanish. Colton is an English pacifist Hitler. Noah is solving the "Chunnel Problem".   Does Benghazi mean anything to you? [email protected]   What is your final solution? [email protected]  

This is the first ever episode of "Gleep of Faith", our new podcast which is weirdly a little more structured than our normal episodes...not much...but a little. In this one we fully discuss everything to do with Life Alert. That's it. That's the concept.    Send an email about your favorite Life Alert. [email protected] [email protected]   I was almost out of my supply of remaining bonus episodes, but luckily I remembered my broken laptop. I went to go get it fixed, and was thankfully able to recover a decent amount of episodes from it. On the laptop I found more bonus episodes, a decent amount of normal full length episodes, a large backlog of Gleep of Faith episodes, and even a Bankmas Eve episode and a The Gleepening episode we decided to record while we had some free time. Since they are longer episodes and normally take longer to edit, we didn't want to risk not being able to find time to get them taken care of closer to when they were originally scheduled to be released.    TL;DR: I found more episodes :)

In this episode we read the forward of "The Treasury of American Humor". That's it. That's the whole episode. Pretend this is the first episode, and that we haven't read literally hundreds of jokes from the book before this.   [email protected] [email protected]  

In this episode we talk about all the greatest people in history: Melanie Mountain Dew, Agent 007 James Bond, Shakespeare, and the 16th president of the Philippines Rodrigo Duterte. We also talk about opening a bar, and Colton's new found love of martial style art...and milk too. There is a very special guest in this episode, and he is mayor no less.   This episode became a bonus episode because we ended up not reading any jokes from 'The Treasury of American Humor', but we did read something else. It was long enough though to warrant splitting it into a separate episode that way it didn't make this one feel too bulky for no reason.   [email protected] [email protected]  

What would your name be if you were a yacht? What's your all time dream vacation? How do you wanna die?   Literally this entire episode is about Martin Luther MLK Jr., Burger King, Crocs, and how the three are all connected. I guess we also talk a little bit about cancer culture too.   [email protected] [email protected]  

What is something your brain wants to convince you to do, but you have to fight it? What would be the smartest animal if they could all talk? What movie makes you laugh even after watching it several times? What was your favorite toy when you were a child?   This wasn't originally going to be a list episode, but it is now. This is what happens when you don't have the book. In this episode we can't believe it's not margarine, Colton get's a new nickname, and we discuss continuously declining in quality business ideas.   Warning: Trigger Warning: If You're Jewish.   Send an email here if you can think of a slur for white people or any other group of people: [email protected]   Send an email here if you would like to discuss funding some business ventures: [email protected]  

What is the best name you could think of for a cat? If you have a million, what are the things you wouldn't spend? If you could have lunch with one person from history, who would it be? What's the certain product you couldn't live without?   This is an episode about unlimited lunch, the deep history of math, and something sort of akin to a trolley problem...except there is no trolley...and no bystander effect...morality doesn't really have anything to do with it either...in fact, it's not really anything like the trolley problem at all. It's just a simple question of who is more important: your best friend, your long time crush, or the leader of the free world.   [email protected] [email protected]  

What was your favorite childhood book? This is a very epic list episode, because we almost forgot it was a list episode. We go over the events of September 10th, 2011...which most people probably remember, but it's still nice to make sure we all have the facts straight. We also spend way too much time talking about human sized things in suits going to work, Colton's drug empire, and the reason some kids are born deaf.   [email protected] [email protected]  

Do you believe in 2nd chances? Would you take it if you had the opportunity to be immortal?   That's right...the podcast might be over, but I still have some audio I'm going to post before you can get rid of me completely.    In this episode we go over Colton's pick up game, and the most twisted genie that has ever existed.   [email protected] [email protected]  

Noah died in Colorado 3 months ago, and I don't have any more episodes besides bonus episodes, so I figured it was time to post this one...the last one. I will still post the bonus episodes that I have, but we will have to wait and see what I do about Friday episodes.   In this episode, we put butter in the humidifier, purchase a fountain drink machine, talk about Colton's retirement and Colton's weird sex kinks. Also, it wouldn't be a proper last episode if we didn't talk about the Mayo Clinic.   Send me whatever email you want...I don't really care. [email protected] [email protected]  

Do you believe in horoscopes? That's right, we answered one question in this episode. This is a list episode though, don't get confused. If you really want to know our answer to this question, you are going to have to listen to the whole episode. Nice.   If you have any suggestions for how I should continue the podcast after the final episode, please let me know. (This is very time sensitive) [email protected] [email protected]  

In an effort to push off posting the final "non-list" episode for one more week, I have Frankenstein'd together a few of our list episodes to feel more like a full episode (I have a lot of list episodes left, so I figured I would give it a try).    There are too many questions answered in this episode for me to feasibly type here, so instead I will give a brief overview of the episode. We talk about Colton's full body pillow, Noah constantly getting solicited by Chinese people, tornados that are controlled by ICE, the three things every dad needs to know, and sexy Hobbits. Also, we go back in time to stop Hitler and make John Lennon gay. Oh, and don't forget...we figured out how to solve homelessness around the country.   Do you think spiders existed before Mark David Chapman? Send proof here: [email protected]   Would you rather get hit by a tomato or an onion? Send proof here: [email protected]  

What food should taste better than its appearance? Your guess as to what this question means is as good as ours. I'm still extremely confused by this. Just listen to the episode, I'm going to go lie down. ...Head hurt...   [email protected] [email protected]  

Noah's cousin has a racist dog, another celebrity has finally visited our small little town, we discover how to save the Titan submersible, clowns are running marathons, and Colton is taking a team of prostitutes to escape rooms. That is a pretty succinct way to summarize an episode if I do say so myself.   Also..."We don't carrot doesn't matter."   Do you want to be on "Who Can Be The Best Clown?" Send your auditions here: [email protected]   Does your hometown have its own 9/11? Tell me about it. [email protected]  

This entire episode is about Orville Redenbees and his grandson Gary Indiana. Let's see if we can figure out the Redenbacher family secret to their popping corn. That's right, not every bonus episode is a list. I am trying to cheat out as many episodes as I can because I am running low. Just to be clear...I have exactly 2 episodes left, and then I've completely run out. I do have a decent amount of list episodes left though and we also recorded "The Recess Episode" and "The Wild Thornberrys Episode"...so maybe I can just combine a few of them into one to make some longer episodes. I'm still sort of trying to figure it out, but I'd better figure it out soon because I can't cheat out episodes forever. Maybe, I'll just cut old episodes together in a different order and assume nobody will notice.   [email protected] [email protected]  

Why is Finding Nemo called Finding Nemo? What would you put in your tri fold hat? What was you donkey born with? All of the questions are answered in this episode...or...at the very least, they are mentioned. This episode was originally recorded on April 12th 2023, and was meant to be released if Colton ended up getting lost in Chicago...Colton never got lost in Chicago, so we've kind of just been holding onto this episode; however, now seems like as good a time as any to post this episode since I am almost completely out of episodes to post. *YOU MAY NOT ACTUALLY RECIEVE THE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS*   What is your country of Oregon? [email protected]   Would you eat some prisoner pigs? [email protected]  

Who would you want to trade lives with? If you were given the chance to steal something, what would it be? What type of cuisine would you serve your customers if you owned a 5 star restaurant? What's the fanciest event you have ever attended? Who is your greatest enemy?   Can someone please get this episode to Phoebe Gates? Colton is really sorry about the gum thing.   [email protected] [email protected]  

Colton is getting into the Vietnam market, Motel 6 is leaving the light on, Clifford is a big red dog, and Graham Crackers are hard to masturbate with. We realize that we are terrible at being terrible, and decide to start a comedy duo exclusively telling Dave Ramsey jokes.    Are you a trend setter or a trend forgetter? [email protected]   Do you know what happened to Colton's doorknob? [email protected]  

What was the craziest bet you've ever made? Do you believe that love is blind?   We spend some time discussing our infamous $500 bet, and Colton brings back his 'Would You Rather' questions. We also discuss how to find your soul mate.   [email protected] [email protected]  

For those that are keen of eye, you might have noticed that this is the original Episode 25. Up until now, this was our only fully deleted episode. Luckily, I just so happened to find it. It has also been mentioned once or twice in other episodes as "The Racist Mickey Episode". I'm just getting extremely desperate to find new episodes to post. I don't know what to do.   This episode is about space. This episode is also about Mickey Mouse. A classic one-two punch if I do say so myself.   Help me. [email protected]   Please help. [email protected]  

This is a unique episode to say the least. And really that's it. That is literally the least I can say about this episode, while simultaneously being the most I am going to say about this episode.   "Somebody please help. I don't know what I'm supposed to do going forward." ~Colton   [email protected] [email protected]  

This one is about sticking leeches on your balls, what Jesus does with his balls, and probably some cool third thing. Colton is back at it again, explaining how he attempts to pick up women, he finally reveals his ethnicity, and reads an ad from the sponsor of this episode - Pillsbury.   "You can go down the easy path -- which is the correct way -- or you can go down the more difficult path -- which is also the correct way -- it'll lead you both to the same, you can...cause it...the ending is the same...it ends in the same place but then the be... cause, but then one is more difficult to go down than the other and it's very clearly labeled which one is which, and people normally take the, the easier path to the destination cause they both end at the same destination, but the...lo...the but, cause the longer one...hhueeeghh...the longer one is um...don't go down that one." ~Good 'Ol Bobby Frost   Do you want to sponsor us? Send us an email, and we can work something out. [email protected]   Do you know any cool quotes from the great philosopher Bai Hu? [email protected]  

How many times have you had your heart broken? What is the first thing you do after getting home from a trip? W-W-W-What are the things you would spend with a billion dollars? How did your parents meat? What is your greatest kitchen mistake?   There were a lot of questions in this episode. There was also not a whole lot of good questions in this episode, but it is what it is I guess.   [email protected] [email protected]  

Come one, come all, for in this episode we are getting excited and getting ready for the Mortician's Ball. Beyond the obvious, we make sure to delve deep into what the life of a fly looks like, Colton's plans and goals when it comes to seducing pregnant women, how you can expect the 2082 Beijing Olympics to look, and what police officers are up to throughout the multiverse. There may also be some mentions of Little Kid Bladder's secret lair, and how the President's tubes fit into the whole equation.   Would you pee in a bowl full of piss? [email protected]   Are you a fly listener? What are you, a bat? Gottem [email protected]  

What is one ability you believe everyone should possess? This is an 18 minute episode, and we barely even manage to answer one question from the list. That's right, we are somehow getting worse at answering questions. We mostly spent the time talking about Gordon Ramsay's new show, ravenous dads, and how Noah is expecting to die (in hindsight, already knowing how he died, I can tell you that his guess was in fact incorrect).   [email protected] [email protected]  

It has become extremely clear now that one of the hosts has time blindness, and the other suffers from a tactile dysfunction. We seek out answers to age old questions such as: "Do islands float?", "What is wasp honey?", "Does Noah need a new hat?", and "Is Alan Dershowitz a good guy?". We also discuss Sherwin Williams' plan to paint the Earth, the existence of an indecisive Magic 7 Ball, the talent that could potentially get a golden buzzer on America's Got Talent, and books...I guess.   Do you know what Nickelodeon song says "the grass is always greener on the other side"? Even though I'm pretty sure we figured out that it was As Told By Ginger, and when that show aired on TV lines up perfectly with when he would've been watching Nickelodeon as a child, and he definitely has seen that show multiple times even if he doesn't necessarily recall it...he seems very confident that it was a different show, so if you could send an email mentioning which one it is, I would really appreciate it. [email protected]   How close are you to Iowa? [email protected]