3 Minute Wisdom

A presentation to a group of enthusiastic ladies from the Springs Home Crafts Club. As part of my commitment to community development I do these presentations for free I hope you enjoy it as much as they did. Get pen and paper ready. I am sure that you will want to take notes. :)

A recording of a live presentation to the KFC Mini Cricket coaches seminar in Benoni South Africa on the 26th August 2011. Unfortunately the first few minutes of the presentation were not recorded.

Going the distance does not mean that you will reach your destination. Some time ago I listened to a very interesting interview about a guy who swam the English channel. What really struck me as a valuable life lesson was when he described how he had to battle the currents caused by the tides and at one point in the swim actually swam for an hour without making progress. He had to swim just to stay in the same place. If he had stopped swimming he would have been swept back by the current, but eventually the tide turned and then, in fact, swept him towards his destination. Just to put this into perspective, and so that you will know what to expect if you ever want to swim the channel. It takes so long to get across that the tide changes 3 times during the swim and the tide change causes strong currents in the channel. That made me think about how often in our lives we have to battle the currents caused by the tides of our lives, illnesses, relationships, finances, workload, getting a job, losing a job, you will know what the currents in your life are. Sometimes it just seems to be so hard, we work and we work but we just don't seem to get anywhere. It feels as if all our efforts are wasted and all too often we give up trying and let the current sweep us back. But that just washes us into the next current and we struggle for a while but then give up and then that current washes us back, and so we go bouncing between the currents but never getting through. We end up using our life’s energy without ever achieving our desires. Oh we “go the distance” alright but we don’t reach our destination. The danger of bouncing between currents is that you lose your enthusiasm for life, it is just one battle after another, every day a struggle with no end in sight. Then you lose your belief in yourself and your ability to succeed and you risk giving up and drowning. If you find yourself in this position you have got to be like that swimmer. He focussed on the destination. He reaffirmed the value of the reward in relation to the effort. He reaffirmed his faith in his ability to hold out. He knew that it could be done and was determined that he would do it. He also knew that the tide would turn, nothing lasts forever, all he had to do was to keep on keeping on and he would (and he did) succeed. Set the direction for your life. Where are you going? What do you want to achieve? Who do you want to be? Accept that there will be challenges, we cannot always control what happens to us but we can always control our response to the event. Direction is more important than distance. It doesn't matter how far you travel if you are going in the wrong direction. It doesn't matter how much you do if you are doing the wrong thing. Don't confuse effort with achievement. Remember that small steps, taken consistently, in the right direction, lead to great things. ************************************** Affirmation Today I will be enthusiastic and courageous, confident and decisive in doing the things that are necessary for my success. **************************************

Who are you wearing? Every day and every moment of every day we can, and should, choose who we wear. We often give more consideration to what we wear than to who we wear. We are concerned about the colour, style, cut, fit and brand name and hope that these will create the correct image we want to display. Understand that clothes are merely an accessory. Clothes don't make the model, it is the model that makes the clothes. It has been said "Of all the things you wear, your expression is most important" and this is true because it is your expression that creates the first impression that other people have about you. Your expression displays your emotional state at that moment. Expressions can be fleeting but no matter how fleeting they can create a lasting impression, and they display your character. The way that you react to any situation, especially a bad one, reveals your true character. And it is by your character that you are known. Your character determines your reputation and your reputation is your "designer brand" your "label" it is how others "know" you. So, who are you wearing? What is your brand? How do you see yourself? How do others see you? And the most important question of all, how do you want others to see you? You have it in your power to determine your reputation but first you have to define your reputation. What do you want other people to think about you? How would you like them to describe you? How would you like them to remember you? Take every role that you play, parent, spouse, partner, employee, employer, child, sibling, citizen, etc. and ask yourself, who are the most important people that you interact with in this role and how would you like them to feel about you, talk about you and remember you. Then constantly evaluate your behaviour and ask yourself if the behaviour that you are displaying will get you the reputation that you desire or destroy the reputation you desire. Is your brand worth wearing? While you should pay attention to what you are wearing and strive to create a good impression with your clothes you should pay more attention to your expression and your behaviour to ensure that your "personal brand" is a desirable one. So, Who are you wearing today? ************************************** Affirmation I pay attention to my behaviour to ensure that I am acting in accordance with the reputation that I desire and the Personal Brand I have chosen for myself. **************************************

Learn to set “Character Goals” before you set “Material Goals” All too often "Goal Setting" concentrates on what you want to get. I want a big house, a better job, lots of money, etc, etc. Now I am not going to tell you that you shouldn't want these things and I am not going to tell you that you shouldn't set goals to get them. What I am going to tell you is that in order to get them you have to become a different person. "What do you mean, become a different person?" I hear you ask. Well, has the person you are, been able to achieve your dreams? NO. Then I guess that it's time to change. You see you have to be the person worthy of the goal. You have to deserve your dream. Too many people depend on their possessions to define their personality when in fact they should be allowing their personality to determine their possessions. They think that having the "Status Symbols" will give them status, when the only thing that gives you status is your value to the community and that is determined by your contribution and your behaviour. If you rely on your possessions to determine your status you place yourself at the risk of constantly having to chase “Material Goals” and this very often erodes your character. You run the risk of feeling that you have to "Get what you want at any cost" and the risk, is that very often you get the thing at the cost of the things you really want, status, respect and peace of mind. If you do not have an internal strength of character then achieving material goals becomes a string of hollow victories giving no lasting sense of satisfaction and leading to an inner sense of lack. The buzz of having the thing soon wears off and then you have to find something new to get your "Sense of Importance Now" fix. Having lots of things does not make you a nice person. Being a nice person makes you a nice person. Only achieving personal growth goals provides lasting satisfaction. So take the time to decide on the character that you wish to have and the reputation that you wish to earn and then commit yourself to behaving in a way that will ensure that you achieve your goal. Constantly define your desired reputation. Ask yourself, "If my partner/spouse, or my children, or my colleagues, or my community were to describe me, what would I want them to say about me?" Decide who you want to be, what you want people to think about you and how you want to be remembered and then make it your life's mission to live up to your dream. Realise that on your journey through life “who” you become is far more important than what you acquire. Choose who you want to be before you decide what you want to get, because the only way that you are really going to get what you really want is to become the person worthy of the goal. You must deserve your dream life in order to live your dream life so learn to set character goals before you set material goals. ************************************** Affirmation By controlling my attitude I will ensure that every person I meet today will be uplifted, inspired and happier for the meeting. **************************************

Oops! Your character is showing I very seldom watch TV and when I do I prefer it to be something pleasant, interesting and instructional however I watched a little bit of Idols last night (only because it was on when I walked into the lounge) Was it pleasant? Well, the young woman singing had a really good voice. Was it interesting? Only from the point of view of watching the judges reactions which ranged from deliberate rudeness, to kindness, to an effort to impress. Was it instructional? Yes, in that there were clear lessons in how to behave and in how not to behave, and left me with definite character impressions of the judges. What always impresses me about Idols is the courage that it takes to stand up in front of a camera and perform, knowing that hundreds of thousands of people are watching you. What makes it more remarkable is that the contestant is in front of a panel of judges, who, experience has shown to have the ability to be devastatingly rude and dismissive. And then to top it all, to have to sing without any background music is very challenging. I really feel that the judges ought to be put through an Emotional Mastery course before being selected, not to help them deal with the "singing" of some contestants, but to make them aware of the power of their contribution to build or break. Now I realise that not every one can be an instant star. Not everyone has the personality to immediately dazzle, but I can't help but wonder at how much talent has been buried under the shame of the harsh criticism, that is received at the hands of these "judges". We take people and put them into an unnatural environment and then expect them to perform naturally. The contestant has possibly performed the act many times at home, in surroundings where they feel confident and unthreatened. Now we put them into a high risk environment. The stakes are high, success or failure, there is a lot to gain, financially, and a lot to lose, emotionally. Most "stars" today have had years of coaching and have a very strong support team. I do not know if many of them would risk their careers by appearing live without any backup. I don't think that we would recognise many of them if they did. This is my call to the judges of Idols and to you if ever you have to judge someone's performance. Show respect for the courage of the performer. If you must give a "no" vote, and this will happen, not everyone can pass, do it kindly. Leave the persons self respect intact. Give advice and guidance, identify the areas for improvement without criticising and condemning. Leave them with the feeling that, in time, they can grow and become what they dream of, this just isn't their time now. Realise that the way you treat others says more about your character than anything else that you do. So treat others in a way that builds your character and reputation to where you want to be. ************************************** Affirmation By controlling my attitude I will ensure that every person I meet today will be uplifted, inspired and happier for the meeting. **************************************

"Help I'm trapped in my job" Do you feel trapped in your job? Do you feel that you want to break out and do something different? Research has shown that many people would rather do something other than what they now do, and that they feel that they are not in control of their lives. This leads to resentment of the situation and anger towards those that they blame for their situation. They want to change but feel they can't. Realise that for things to change, you have to change. The first step in creating change is awareness of the need to change. The second step is the acceptance that things are the way they are and that you cannot change what is you can only change what may be. The third step is the acknowledgement of your responsibility to take charge of the change you want. Often you are trapped by your own sense of incompetence. You want to leave the job you have now but you are too scared to make the move. I mean it's not that easy to get another job these days is it? If you feel that you are trapped in the job you now have, that you can't leave because your opportunities are limited then check your skills level. How much demand is there for the services that you offer? How many people will be competing for the same job? Have you limited your options by not learning new skills or by failing to improve the skills that you have? You can also improve your choices by doing what you do so well, that your services are always in demand. Whatever you do there will always be others competing for the same job. What makes you different? Why should anyone buy your services? Don't be like the applicant for a vacancy, who on enquiring what pay went with the post was told. "Oh we are a very fair company we will pay you what you are worth." "Then I can't take the job" says the applicant "I am being paid more than that where I am now" Free yourself from a trap of your own making. Learn as much as you can about as much as you can. Learn as much as you can about your job and the jobs of those around you. Learn about your company. What are it's objectives? What are it's obstacles? How does what you do help the company achieve it's objectives and overcome the obstacles? Do what ever you do as well and as cheerfully as you can. Choose to look for the value in what you do. Choose to add value to those around you. Choose to be passionate about what you do. Realise that your sense of significance will always be in direct proportion to your belief in the value of the contribution that you make. Prepare yourself for the next step on your journey through life by being proud of yourself and your contribution. Don't be a victim and say “I 'have' to do this because I'm trapped by my obstacles”. Be a winner and say “I 'want' to do this because I am excited about my opportunities”, then you won't have to cry "Help I'm trapped in my job" ************************************** Affirmation I am inspired by the opportunity my job gives me. I realise that it is my stepping stone to greatness and it is up to me to make the most of it. **************************************

"Only fools blindly accept, or reject, a subject they have not studied" How much of your life is being controlled by someone else. By the beliefs that they planted in you without you being aware of it. By information that you have unquestioningly accepted as true. This story should illustrate the effect of unquestioned, unchallenged, beliefs. One day a woman sent her husband out to buy a leg of lamb. When he brought it back she said. "But you haven't cut the end off." "You never asked me to" he replied. "But we always cut the end off a roast" she said "I thought you knew that." "Why, do we always cut the end off a roast?" he asked. "I don't really know" she said. "I only know that my mother always did, so I do too". "Well your mother is here for lunch, let's ask her." "Ma, why did you always cut the end off a roast?" "I don't really know." she replied, "But my mother always used to cut the end off, so I did too." "OK let's get granny on the phone I want to get to the bottom of this." So they phone granny. "Granny why did you always cut the end off a roast?" "Because my pot was too small" she replied. Are you cooking in someone else's pot? Blindly accepting without question or challenge, information about yourself and how you live. Blindly accepting someone else's view of life and other people. Blindly accepting that this is how things are. Blindly accepting that the "truth" you have is the actual truth. I have so often encountered the situation, and I am sure that you have too, that when people adopt a "school of thought" they stop thinking. Suddenly they act as if their chosen school of thought contains all the thought that there is and that it is complete. They act as if they have the whole truth when in reality all they have is the information that they have accepted as true. Take control of your life, learn to question the things that matter to you. Learn to ask, Why do I do this? Why do I do it this way? What would stop me trying a different way? What makes this true? What makes them right? Realise that the only fact, is the fact that all facts can and should be challenged. Just think about this. Everything that you have today you have because someone challenged the fact that it did not exist, because there was a time that it didn't. Develop the Emotional Maturity to amend your opinion in the light of new information. Don't be like the emotionally immature who defend their opinion in spite of new information. Don't cut yourself off from an opportunity to learn by being locked in the conviction of the truth of your beliefs and opinions, realise that only fools and the dead never change their opinions. Learn to have an open mind, realise that there always will be, and that there are now, different points of view to yours. Learn to evaluate these different opinions to see what you can gain from them, for "Only fools blindly accept, or reject, a subject they have not studied"

Possibly the most important and challenging role you will ever fulfil is that of parent. It is also possibly the one for which you are least equipped. Learning to be a parent is like learning to dance, you will never know all the steps and the music keeps changing. You just need to know the fundamentals and have the “Emotional Maturity” to be flexible. It is essential to develop this Emotional Maturity as often, in our frustration, we run the risk of lashing out and blaming our children for our problems. So what are the fundamentals of parenting? 1. Children are your responsibility not your possessions. If you doubt that then please show me your purchase slip. 2. Your children do not owe you anything that you have not earned. They are not "cheap labour" there to do the things that you don't want to do. Nor are they guests just along for the ride. There should be a fair sharing and rotation of tasks and responsibilities. 3. You make no sacrifices for your children, you fulfil your obligations to them. Sure you may have to go without some stuff because you have incurred extra expenses by having children. But just remember they didn't ask to be here. You brought them here. 4. Raising and protecting your children is your responsibility. You should NEVER give that role to someone else unless you have verified that they are competent and willing to accept that responsibility. 5. You cannot, and you should not, try to captain their ship. Your role is that of a lighthouse giving them advise and showing them the way. (accept that they will not always follow your advise. Did you always follow your parents advise?) 6. You are to provide a safe harbour for your children. Think about it, is your home a “Safe Zone” or a “War Zone”. If your children didn’t “have to” would they come home? 7. Your role is not to undermine and control. Your role is to support and guide. 8. You have the responsibility to be their role model. They learn many of their coping skills from you. What are you teaching them? 9. Above all you must love your children. Many times you will not like what they do, but always remember that it is the behaviour that you dislike and not the child. 10. The best thing that parents can do for their children is to love each other. And if you can’t do that then at least don’t let your children feel that it is their fault. Remember that your children did not apply for this role. You brought them into existence now you have the responsibility to nurture them and to prepare them for their future. ************************************** Affirmation I gladly accept and respect my role as parent. I know that the best thing that I can do for my community is to raise my children to become valuable, confident and participative members of the community **************************************

You are you most valuable asset and you deserve all the care, love and attention you can give. Realise that you are special. There never has been nor will there ever be another like you. You are a collectors item and should be cherished. So often we put ourselves in 2nd place having been conditioned by social stupidity to treat ourselves as less important than others. We are not less important than others. We are not more important than others. But we are, or should be, the most important to ourselves. If you truly love your family and your friends then show it by truly loving yourself. Because when you do not love yourself, when you are unhappy, when you feel unworthy, when you feel used and abused it affects your relationships. You may make a pretence at loving them but you are resentful and it shows. Love yourself enough to treat yourself kindly. Be understanding of your mistakes. Treat yourself the way you would like others to treat you. Love yourself enough to accept praise. Too often when you are praised for something you try to minimise your contribution "Oh it was nothing" No it wasn’t. It was something, and you did it. Love yourself enough to be proud of your achievements. Don’t wait for others to congratulate you. When you’ve done something well love yourself enough to acknowledge it and congratulate yourself. Love yourself enough to forgive yourself – so you didn’t win the lotto, climb Kilamanjaro, run the Comrades, swim the channel, get in shape, but you did make it through the year. So you made some mistakes, did some things you shouldn’t have done, didn’t do some things you should have done. Just like you would forgive others, love yourself enough to forgive yourself. Love yourself enough to look back over the year and acknowledge all your achievements. And I do mean all. Every day that you got up and went to work is an achievement. Every meal that you cooked is an achievement. Every bit of money that you earned is an achievement. Every time you loved your partner is an achievement. Love yourself enough to acknowledge that you are OK. Love yourself enough to acknowledge that there were times that you didn’t do your best, or do the right thing. Love yourself enough to accept that you can’t change what you did but that you can change what you do. Love yourself enough to know that you can improve. Love yourself enough to choose to improve yourself, to become a better you. Love yourself enough to be your best friend, to celebrate your victories and to support yourself through your losses, to be there to pick yourself up when you fall. Love yourself enough to cherish yourself and to acknowledge that you were engineered for success, designed for accomplishment and you are endowed with the seeds of greatness. Love yourself enough to let your light shine.

Every morning you should ask yourself "What one thing could I do today that would make a positive difference in my life and the lives of those around me?" "ME?" I hear you say "Me? Little old me, how can I make a difference. I am not important, or powerful, or rich, I am just an ordinary citizen struggling to make a living. How can I make a difference?" Well the very first thing that you should do is to change your attitude about yourself, because until you think that you are special you won't be. Until you can recognise the magnificent potential that is locked up in side you, strapped down by all those negative beliefs, you will not be able to release it and live to your full potential. The great tragedy of life is that so many people go to their graves with their lives unlived. They had dreams that they never acted on. They lived the sort of life that they felt was expected of them. They were so busy trying to please other people, that they had no time for their own happiness. This you must know, there are people who love you, and care about you, and respect you, but until you learn to love and care about yourself, until you learn to respect yourself, you will never truly accept the love, care and respect of others. You have the greatest power of any living thing on this planet. You have the power of choice. You have the power to chose how to behave, what to say and when to say it. You have the power to control your attitude. You have the power to make a difference. You have the power to choose whether your words build or break. You can choose whether your contribution is constructive or destructive. You can choose whether your influence is positive or negative. Choose to make difference. Choose to look for the positive in all things, if you really can't find something positive to say or do, then rather do and say nothing. Choose to be a centre of certainty in an uncertain world. Choose to create a climate of hope and enthusiasm in yourself and those around you. Realise that you do not have to do something earth shattering to make a difference. It's the little things that often have the greatest impact. A smile, a friendly word, a compliment, a helping hand, a sympathetic ear, these are the things that you can do every day and the only cost is that you put your ego in your pocket for a while and you give your attention to the other person's feelings. Learn to get your satisfaction from helping others to feel better about themselves and their lives. Have the courage, because you love and respect yourself and you realise that you are a wonderful person, to reach out to others confident and secure in your own strength. When you were born you were given the gift of life, may to-day be the day that you accept that gift. Realise that you were designed for accomplishment, engineered for success and endowed with the seeds of greatness. Strip off your suit of worry and despair, put on the armour of belief and enthusiasm then march boldly into life. Take no timid steps, think no timid thoughts. Dare to become all you are capable of becoming. Dare to "Change your life from making a living to making a difference."

There is a mistaken belief that permeates society that we have to do things for other people and that it is "Other People" who determine the quality of our lives. We have to learn that we do not "have" to do anything for anyone else, but everything that we want in life we can only get by doing something for someone else. Once you grasp this you will realise that "other people" are really your opportunity to get what you want. Other people provide the possibility of your life. Your use of that possibility is the cause of the state of your life. Everything that we do is a choice. We can choose to do things well or we can choose to do things badly. We can choose to be happy or we can choose to be miserable. But just accept this, while you are free to choose your behaviour and your actions you are not free to avoid the consequences of your actions. This story will illustrate this: There was once a builder who after a long and successful career was looking forward to his retirement. As soon as his current project was finished that was it, no more work. However as the project finished his employer called him in and said "You, are our best builder and I have one last request. There is a special house to be built and you are the only one that we trust to do it." Reluctantly the builder agreed to do the job, but his heart was not in it. It was unfair, he should have been on retirement not building another house. He became even more resentful when he discovered the site for the house. It was a piece of ground, over looking a lake, where he had often said that he would like to build his own house. Because he was resentful, he did not build with his usual care. He cut corners and used second grade material. He just wanted to get it finished and he reasoned "Who cares how I build this house, it is the last one" Anyway soon he was finished and his commitment to the company complete. Now he could retire at last. To thank him for his years of loyal service his employer held a farewell party for him and at the party handed him a farewell gift. When he unwrapped his gift he found inside the keys to the house he had just built. His instant feeling was one of remorse "If only I had taken more care in building this house. if only I had known it was for me" To avoid that regret "Do everything that you do as if it were for you." Take the time to evaluate your actions. What will the possible consequences be? How will this affect your reputation? Will you be able to look back with pride on your actions of today? How would you feel if other people did this to you? Would you be prepared to accept this performance from others? Realise that every action is a building block of your past and a foundation stone of your future. Build carefully. Do everything that you do as if it were for you because in reality everything that you do is for you.

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone take all his books home on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, my friends liked him too. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are really going to build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class and had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. On graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks" he said. He started his speech "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them, and I am going to tell you a story. I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker and was carrying his stuff home so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard a gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. Author unknown

Exploitation of the workers? In a free and democratic society it is actually impossible to "exploit" workers. There is always a willing buyer/willing seller principle in action. The one harsh reality of a democratic society is that "Market Forces" rule. What the market thinks your services are worth is what you will get paid. However what you think you are worth is what you will accept. Just think about your shopping style. If the store wants more for an item than you are prepared to pay, or can afford to pay, then you leave it. Why should the employer, who is a person just like you, be any different. But instead of blaming your insensitive, greedy, exploitative employer for your situation, have the courage, and the honesty, to look at yourself first. When you applied for this job, and I am presuming that you applied, and were not forced, to work here, how much thought did you give to what you would have to do? I'm prepared to put money on it, that for far too many people, how much they would get paid was far more important than what they would have to do. In fact, I would go so far as to say that many people overstate their willingness and ability to do the job. They'll say anything just to get the salary. How would you feel if the boss, realising that you felt exploited, told you that since he can't afford to pay you more, he will release you from bondage so that you would be free to find another position that will pay you more? Are you sure that you are not the one doing the exploiting? In my consulting practice I have dealt with many cases of blatant exploitation of employers by employees. Things like, abuse of sick leave, misuse of company property, theft, poor performance, absenteeism, I can go on and on, but this is not what this is about. While we have to face the situation squarely and call a spade a spade what we really want to do is to put ourselves into a position where we do not feel exploited. There are a few things that you should be doing to ensure that you are not in the "exploited" group. 1. Be grateful that you have a job. I don't care how bad it is I think that the alternative, unemployment, has got to be worse. 2. Accept that you made a choice to work here and can leave at any time. 3. Make it your mission to improve the value of your services. Read books, take every class and course you can. Do you know that there are actually people who resent being sent on courses by their employers, sounds unbelievable I know, but it's true. 4. Gain all the experience you can get. Think of ways to do the job better. 5. Avoid all contact with the wingers and whiners who pollute the air with their complaints. 6. Don't listen to anyone who says that you should get more for doing less. It sounds great but is a sure recipe for disaster. 7. Learn from those who are in the position that you would like to be in. Watch what they do and how they do it. Copy their work habits. 8. Accept that you, and you alone are responsible for your progress in life. Where you started was beyond your control but where you end up is entirely your responsibility. It is important to change the way that you think because only by changing the way that you think will you change the way that you behave. Placing the blame for your condition on your boss puts you in victim mode and disempowers you. Accepting that you made a choice, perhaps a bad one, puts you in the drivers seat. Since it was your choice you are free to make a different choice. If you want a better life you have to make it happen and you never will while you feel that you are an "exploited worker" rather become a worker that exploits all your talents to create the better life that you desire.

Based on some of the feedback that I have received this is a very sensitive subject. In fact I have been told that I am heartless and that this is not motivating, however I am going to persevere with this subject as I believe that it is of great value. The only way we can build this nation is on the foundation of work and I believe that we should build a strong foundation that will support all future generations. We should nurture a work ethic in ourselves and in our children and we should strenuously avoid all those who try to convince us that work is BAD or that those who create work are BAD. The only reason that we are able to have what we have today is because our forefathers worked to create it. Who are we to do any less for our descendents. The future is in your hands. What are you going to do with it? How do you feel about your JOB? I hear a lot of criticism of Employers. I hear a lot of deriding of the JOB. I am sure that you have heard these comments and the many more like them: Flush that stinking job - Fire your greedy boss - JOB means Just Over Broke - Exploitation of the workers. The funny thing is that each of these and all the other similar statements, are made by people desperately trying to sell you something and they hope that by making you aware of just how miserable you are that you will join their organisation, or buy their plan. These people also promise you all sorts of wonderful benefits that they really cannot deliver on, but having convinced you of how unhappy you are they hope that you will jump at the illusion of a better life without effort on your part. Now I realise that you may not be in your preferred job and that you would really like to be doing something else but right now you can't, so let's see how we can help you to make the best of this situation by reframing the statements and by realigning your thoughts. First of all let me clarify something, you were forced to work here weren't you? I mean you had no choice in the matter, you didn't actually ASK (beg) for this job did you? Secondly, you are chained to your job aren't you, and you may not leave it? You have no freedom to resign and look for another job. This is it you are here for life. Good, now that we've cleared that up let's get on with the process of realignment. Realigning your thinking is very important. Realise that the way you do your job is affected by the way that you feel about your job, but you can control how you feel about the job by changing your perception of the value of doing it. Let me give you an example. Have you ever had to carry groceries for a distance? I'm sure you have. Have you ever complained about having to carry those groceries? I'm sure you have. I certainly have. However I never complain about carrying groceries, or anything heavy for that matter, anymore. And no, it's not because I am so grateful that I can, it's that I have reframed the nature of the task. I am developing a program for strength and fitness based on "My body is my Gym and I can exercise anywhere". So I now see carrying something heavy as an opportunity to exercise and build muscle. When I carry things I see how may ways there are to carry them and which muscles are involved. This way I have no time to complain, I'm having too much fun. Your JOB is your opportunity to grow and for the rest of this week I am going to help you realign your thinking about the statements we mentioned. In the mean time see what you can do about realigning your thinking.

Why all the emphasis on understanding work? Because that is where you spend most of your day but also because it is really the only way that you can get what you want from life. Your rewards in life will always be in direct relation to the value of your contribution to life. Today I want to look at WORK from a different aspect. For most people work is something that they feel that they have to do, that they would rather not do and if they had a choice they wouldn't do. I have created an acronym for WORK which is Willing – Opportunity – Responsibility – Knowledge. Willing Being willing to work is critical if you are to get any enjoyment from your task. There is nothing worse than doing something resentfully. When you resent doing something you will resist doing it and look for ways to avoid doing it. The way to develop a willingness to work is to realise that you don't have to work. You could stay at home and do nothing, and if you do that for long enough you can move in under a bridge and do nothing. Work is a choice. If you want to earn money then you have to trade your time and your skills for that money. Take the time to consider all the things that you can do because you work, what would happen to your standard of living if you did not have your job and the salary that goes with it? Opportunity The workplace is your opportunity to show how good you are. There is no significance in being good at something if you cannot demonstrate that you are good at it. Imagine being a champion swimmer stranded out in the desert. All your skills at swimming are useless to you because there is no opportunity to demonstrate those skills. So the workplace is your opportunity to show what you can do, to learn what you need to do and to get better at what you do. Just think about how much effort you put into getting this job. You wanted the opportunity to earn a salary. Responsibility You have a responsibility to yourself to be the best that you can be and to do whatever you do as if it was vitally important, and as a matter of fact it is vitally important. Every day you are building your past and your reputation and you are laying the foundation for your future. You have the responsibility to be honest and fulfil your part of the bargain. Think back to the time that you were applying for this job. I'll bet that you made certain commitments, are you still living up to those commitments? You have a responsibility, to not only do whatever you do as well as you can but to constantly strive to do more, to learn more, to improve. The future is depending on you. Knowledge Work is about knowledge. Remember this. "Everything is difficult until you have learned how to do it." "Everything is easy once you have learned how to do it." The more you know about your job the easier it will be to do it. The more you know about your job the better you can do it. The more you know about your job the more valuable your services become. The more you know about your job the more confident you will be. As from today change your perception of work and be grateful that you have the skills and the opportunity to do it and that someone thinks highly enough of you to give you the opportunity to WORK.

What are you doing to deserve your place on the team?" Think of life as a game, and you, and everyone else, are members of the team. We're all on the same side, the side that is striving to win success, health, happiness, prosperity, peace of mind and good relationships. Our opposition is failure, sickness, misery, poverty, worry, despair, and loneliness. Each one of us has an absolute responsibility to ensure that we play our part to the full, to ensure that we remain deserving of our place on the team. Merely being a member is not enough. You have got to be a participating member and you have got to ensure that your participation contributes to the success of the team. The very essence of the game of life is service. Your rewards will always be in direct proportion to the value of the service that you deliver. You cannot function in isolation, separate from the team. You are like an angel with only one wing, you can only fly when you are helping someone else to fly, or someone else is helping you to fly. Your ultimate success is dependent on the success of the team. So, what service have you rendered, or will you, render today. How will your labours of today benefit others? Think of how many of your daily activities are dependant on the labours of other people. People who you will never know, but never the less people with families, with hopes and dreams, fears and worries, loves and disappointments, people, just like you. Think of how many things you regularly use, and take for granted, yet the only reason you are able to use them is because someone else went to work. Somebody had to make the bed you slept on. Somebody had to make the bedding. Somebody had to make the toothpaste you brushed your teeth with, somebody else had to deliver it and still somebody else had to have it for you to buy. Have you ever thought of how many people are working just to ensure that you have toothpaste every morning. (here's something to think about, we brush our teeth with a tooth brush and tooth paste surely it should be a teeth brush and teeth paste?) Take a look around you. I am sure that you will see that virtually everything you see is the result of someone else's labour. In fact every item normally involves the input of quite a lot of other people. Think of all the many things that you do every day. Become aware of how many times you rely on the services of other people. Think of how it affects you when you get good service, do you even notice? Think of how it affects you when you get bad service? Take a look at the service that you offer. How many people are affected by what you do? How would you feel if you were to meet those people? Remember this, your sense of significance depends on the value of the service that you offer to other people. So if your sense of significance is low, check out your service levels. If your service levels are low check out your attitude. To check out your attitude look at yourself in a mirror and ask this question of yourself "What are you doing to deserve your place on the team?"