PODCAST · comedy
372 Pages We'll Never Get Back
by 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back
Conor Lastowka and Michael J. Nelson are reading books they're pretty sure they're going to hate. Read along with us for a podcast book clubs of Ready Player One, Armada, The Eye of Argon, Dan Brown, and more!
Episodes
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372 Pages #215 – Ep 4 Remain – Wow.
Support the podcast on Patreon, where you get every episode a week early, 280 Mysteries episodes, and everything else we don’t release on the main feed! https://patreon.com/372pages Wren is a ghost, evidently. We guessed it on word two she narrated several episodes ago. If you wanted to parallel...
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372 Pages #214 – Ep 3 Remain – Toast.
Join the Jackals and support the podcast on Patreon! Get every episode a week early and stuff we don’t post anywhere else! https://patreon.com/372pages The shocking reveal about Wren? Yes, she is a Large Margian ghost, of course, but even more shocking she is a fan of jigsaw puzzles! This is the...
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280 Mysteries Ep 50 – With Stin of Chat Pile – The Case of the Fighter Kite
Get access to the entire 280 Mysteries archive on our Patreon! patreon.com/372pages Mike is joined by Stin, the bass player for the acclaimed group Chat Pile, to help him solve a mystery meant for a 10-year-old! Check out Who Loves The Sun, out now and catch the band on tour near you! Plus…
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372 Pages #213 – Ep 2 Remain – Cats.
Support the podcast on Patreon to hear exclusive stuff you won’t get anywhere else! This week we covered the Donald J. Sobel mystery with the dumbest solution we’ve heard so far! patreon.com/372pages Will the twist be that there is no twist? We don’t know, we just nibble our toast and do the best...
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372 Pages #212 – Remain Ep 1 – Someone Better See Dead People!
Support the podcast on Patreon! New 280 Mysteries with a surprise guest coming next week! https://patreon.com/372pages A new book, with new authors (to us)! When more than one great artist gets together with another artist you get things like The Traveling Wilburys, Limp Bizkit & Raekwon, and...
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372 Pages #211 – Book 39 reveal!
Everyone on our Patreon has already been reading this book for a week! That’s a good thing, right? Join the fun at patreon.com/372pages Like Hydrox wafers and Hydrox-brand “cream filling”, two of your favorites have come together to make one spectacular book (soon to be a major motion picture!)...
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372 Pages #210 – Empress Theresa Ep 5 – What Happened to the Parkers???
Support the podcast on Patreon and be the first to find out what we’re reading next! patreon.com/372pages The very last reading of Norman Boutin’s Empress Theresa DOES NOT DISAPPOINT! But, you ask, what happens to Steve Hartley? Does Jan Struthers become a successful wealth manager? President...
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372 Pages #209 – Empress Theresa Ep 4 – Goodbye John, Stephanie and Jennifer. Heck, all the Parkers!
Support the podcast on Patreon to hear stuff you won’t hear anywhere else! Mailbags, Choose Your Own Adventure Streams, 280 Mysteries and more! https://patreon.com/372pages Just a few of the ideas this book attempts to tackle: An omnipotent entity transmitted to human beings by a fox. Eternal...
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372 Pages #208 – Empress Theresa Ep 3 – Plywood and Water Columns. Oh, and a New Jerusalem.
Stop sending all your money to Steve in England, support the podcast on Patreon instead! patreon.com/372pages Is it a novel? Is it a manifesto? Is it the written equivalent of “score settling” for past grievances big and small? It’s all of these things and so much more! Puzzling, confounding,...
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280 Mysteries Ep 49 – The Case of the Oven Mitts w/ Bill Oakley
Support the podcast on Patreon and get access to the entire 280 Mysteries catalog! https://patreon.com/372pages Legendary Simpsons writer, showrunner, and executive producer Bill Oakley joins us to discuss his new audiobook, “Space 1972” and attempt to solve a mystery for 11 year olds! Get Bill’s...
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372 Pages #207 – Empress Theresa Ep 2 – Emperor Steve
This isn’t the first book we’ve covered about an attractive young woman who gets implanted with a dark matter / alien / ancient lifeform by a visiting fox, survives an assassination attempt (via atomic bomb) by the president of the United States, is rescued by UK sailors, befriends Prime Minster...
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280 Mysteries Ep 22 – The Case of the Midnight Visitor
Like listening to 280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back? There’s almost 30 more of them that are only on our Patreon! Sign up today: https://patreon.com/372pages This one’s an E. Brown mystery kindly sent in by listener John: is Mike smarter than a 10 year-old?
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372 Pages #206 – Empress Theresa Ep 1 – Grandpa, no, No, NO, NOOO!
Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early and hear extra stuff you can’t get anywhere else! https://patreon.com/372pages Get the book here It’s finally here: a book that’s not Mayor of Noobtown! This is the inaugural episode of our new book Empress Theresa by Norman Boutin,...
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372 Pages – #205 – Book 38: Empress Theresa
Support the podcast on Patreon where you get every episode a week early and have access to a whole bunch of other stuff you can’t get anywhere else! patreon.com/372pages Before we get to the meat and potatoes of it, Conor is challenged with a quiz from Mike. It’s quite a turnaround and is utterly...
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372 Pages – #204 – Mayor of Noobtown Ep 4 – Hero Work from Mike and Conor!
Be the first to find out what we’re reading next by supporting the podcast on Patreon! patreon.com/372pages As any hero would say, without looking back at the smoking ruins / nearly dead enemy / exploding spaceship, “It’s over. It’s finally over.” It’s true: you can remove your hands from in…
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372 Pages – #203 – Mayor of Noobtown Ep 3 – Chalk Full of, seriously, GOURDS!
Support the podcast on Patreon, where you get every episode a week early and a ton of other stuff that’s only available for supporters! https://patreon.com/372pages Just one more reading of distinguished publisher Harper Collins’ soon-to-be runaway smash best seller The Mayor of Noobtown...
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280 Mysteries Ep 21 – The Case of the Angry Cook
There’s a whole bunch more of these only on our Patreon! Go check it out: https://patreon.com/372pages Conor v. Donald J. Sobol. Two men enter. Only one will leave.
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372 Pages – Ep 202 – Mayor of Noobtown Ep 2 – Raise a Glass of Shadow God Blood!
Level up in: Supporting the podcast on Patreon! https://patreon.com/372pages If you are reading along – and we’re gonna go ahead and assume you’re reading along – you’ll know that Conor and Mike are going discuss character sheets at great length. You could listen to an entire series of podcasts...
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280 Mysteries Ep 20 – The Case of the Dwarf’s Beard
Listen to the entire 280 Mysteries archive and take part in fun exclusives like our Choose Your Own Adventure livestream with John Hodgman, only on the 372 Patreon! https://patreon.com/372pages Can Conor crack the case of The Dwarf’s Beard? If you don’t say yes Sally is gonna sock you one real...
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372 Pages – Ep 201 – Mayor of Noobtown Ep 1 – Hope You Like Numbers 1 and 2!
Don’t wanna be a NOOB? Then support the podcast on Patreon! Get every episode a week early plus other stuff we don’t post anywhere else! https://patreon.com/372pages Ah, literature. Set your mind on higher things. Assuming that doo-doo and wee-wee are higher things. ‘Cause there’s a lot of it in…
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280 Mysteries Ep 19 – The Case of the Wagon Master
Listen to the entire 280 Mysteries archive and get every episode of the podcast a week early, only on our Patreon! https://patreon.com/372pages It’s like we’ve always said here at 372 Pages, it’s about time someone took a real hard look at Wagon Masters! I don’t trust them. Never have. And this...
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372 Pages – Ep 200 – Book 37: The Mayor of Noobtown
Is there a genre we at 372 Pages have not covered? Oh, yes. Yes there is. Join us as we dive into the wildly popular world of LitRPG and our latest book The Mayor of Noobtown Buy the book here Assignment: Read thru Chapter 7
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280 Mysteries Ep 18 – The Case of the Stolen Confederate Stamps
Listen to the whole 280 Mysteries archive, that’s over 40 episodes, on our Patreon! patreon.com/372pages Mike and Conor almost wanted to recuse themselves from this particular Encyclopedia Brown mystery because they both have stolen a LOT of Confederate stamps. Like, a lot. The Feds, Interpol…
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372 Pages #199 – Owl Be Home for Christmas – Ep 2 – O Little Town of DEATH-lehem!
Support the podcast on Patreon and be the first to find out what we’re reading next! patreon.com/372pages How still we see thee DIE! Above thy CREEP (ahem Sharnek) and dreamless sleep the silent Scrumptious Scotch BARS go by. Yet in thy dark streets DIE-eth the everlasting FIGHT (with the…
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372 Pages #198 – Owl Be Home for Christmas – Ep 1 – Julius Pringle Put Cherries in His Wife’s Christmas Cake, Obviously!!
Thanks to everyone who supported the podcast on Patreon this year. Join the fun and get a whole bunch of stuff you can’t hear anywhere else: https://patreon.com/372pages Ok, let’s tally up the cozy: Christmas beanies. Hot chocolate. Candy canes. Matching sweaters with cute doggo. Sentient owl....
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280 Mysteries Ep 17 – The Case of the Hard Luck Boy
Obviously you’re all thinking, “Donald Sobel wrote an Encyclopedia Brown Mystery about the 1993 Georgia Satellites song?! Weird. But very intriguing!” Sadly, no. This was written eight years prior to its release. The solution is utter madness.
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372 Pages #197 – 2025 Cozy Book Buffet
We went over some of the thousands and thousands of cozy mysteries out there before deciding on OWL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS as our 2025 cozy. Revisit the contenders! Assignment: Read thru Chapter 8
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372 Pages #196 – Deception Point Ep 4 – Corky Coats Himself in His Own WHAT?!*
Support the podcast on Patreon, where you can hear our latest 280 Mysteries with special guest Dan Deacon, and be the first to learn what book is next! https://patreon.com/372pages This is it, the final episode of Dan Brown’s Deception Point, a book so dumb it raises (lowers?) the level at which…
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280 Mysteries Ep 16 – The Case of the Wounded Dog
Pigs are stolen. Gooses killed, gutted, de-feathered, roasted over spits and eaten by drifters. And, evidently, dogs are wounded. Idaville’s an odd place. Can Mike crack the case?! Listen to the complete 280 Mysteries archive on our Patreon! patreon.com/372pages
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372 Pages #195 – Deception Point Ep 3 – Conor Admits to Performing Rocket Man!
Support the podcast on Patreon where you get every episode a week early, plus access to every 280 Mysteries episode! https://patreon.com/372pages Find out how this book compares to the works of Tolstoy, Virginia Woolf and Rush. And while you’re at it, follow the exploits of Hot Sexton and her...
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280 Mysteries Ep 15 – The Case of the Missing Watch Goose
Listen to the complete 280 Mysteries archive, including our brand new episode with Joel McHale, only on the 372 Pages Patreon! https://patreon.com/372pages Watch goose* is a thing, everyone. Seriously. We don’t like it anymore than you do, but it’s a thing. Mike tries to crack the case. *”Guard...
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372 Pages #194 – Deception Point Ep 2 – Ice Bullets, Snifters and Puggish Smiles!
Support the podcast on Patreon where you can hear our latest 280 Mysteries episode with special guest JOEL MCHALE! patreon.com/372pages Courvoisier-sipping senator Sedgewick Sexton; the hideous, grotesque, smoke-spewing, long-limbed inhuman creature Marjorie Tench; and Deltas One, Two and Three…
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280 Mysteries Ep 14 – The Case of the Hungry Hitchhiker
Listen to the entire 280 Mysteries archive on our patreon! patreon.com/372pages For once, once, it’s a hitchhiker that’s hungry and not a damn hippo! Anyway, Conor throws Donald J. Sobel’s mystery at Mike and Mike attempts to hit it out of the park. Does he succeed? You’ll have to listen.
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372 Pages #193 – Deception Point Ep 1 – Save Your Meal of Horse Till AFTER You Read About M. Tench
Support the podcast on Patreon and get every episode a week free plus all the other stuff we don’t post anywhere else! patreon.com/372pages Dan Brown is back! The author of Digital Fortress (and, okay, if I have to mention it, The Da Vinci Code) is typing up words and phrases and clauses as fast…
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372 Pages #192 – Book #35: Deception Point by Dan Brown!
We announced this book a week ago on our Patreon! Join in on the fun and support the podcast at patreon.com/372pages We kick off another voyage into the microchapter world of Dan Brown! Plus we’ll hear all about a recent humiliation Mike suffered on the tennis court and read some listener emails....
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280 Mysteries Ep 13 – The Case of the Foot Warmers
Check out our Patreon to be the first to find out our next book and to hear the entire 280 Mysteries archives, including the episodes we just released with Bridget and Lauren! patreon.com/372pages In this ep, Conor attempts once again to unravel the many strange threads of Donald J. Sobel. This…
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372 Pages #191 – Night of the Crabs Ep 3 – Limpet Mines, Potholers, Mills Bombs and Constitutionals!
Join the Jackals and support the podcast on Patreon! Find out the next book before everyone else and hear the 280 Mysteries we recorded with Bridget Nelson! patreon.com/372pages Yes, all the things we in America know so well and love so much come together (much like dodgems) in one final episode!...
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280 Mysteries Ep 12 – The Case of the Five Clues
It’s Conor’s turn to solve the mystery, and Mike has picked out a fiendish one. There are five clues this time, and in a series where even the sole clue a mystery hinges on likely doesn’t make a lot of sense, this means we’re in for a wild ride! Support the podcast on Patreon to gain access to…
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372 Pages #190 – Night of the Crabs Ep 2 – If You’re Gonna Do That Anywhere, Do it in the Spiky Grass!
Support the podcast on Patreon and hear stuff you can’t get anywhere else like Mike & Conor’s read thru of the CLASSIC 80s Choose Your Own Adventure book “You Are A Shark” patreon.com/372pages Read along with us, get the book here If you’re even vaguely considering listening to this particular...
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280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back Ep 37 – The Case of the Carousel Horse – W/ Ken Jennings
Get access to the complete 280 Mysteries archive on our Patreon: patreon.com/372pages Yes, the smartest man we’ve ever met – and we’ve met dozens of men – joins us in an attempt to outwit Idaville’s greatest boy detective. See if Jeopardy host Ken Jennings can assist Mike with The Case of the...
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372 Pages #189 – Night of the Crabs Ep 1 – Grandpa NO!
Support the podcast on Patreon and get every episode early, plus exclusive episodes like our 280 Mysteries episode with Jeopardy host Ken Jennings! https://patreon.com/372pages Get the book here Rejoice with Conor and Mike as they read through a new book that was not written by Colleen Hoover!!...
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280 Mysteries – Ep 11 – The Case of the Stolen Pigs
We just announced our next 372 Pages book on our Patreon! Find out what it is, and get access to the complete 280 Mysteries archive, by supporting the podcast! patreon.com/372pages Two prize winning pigs have gone missing in Idaville, and our intrepid Boy Detective suspects a brand new gang. How...
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280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back Ep 10 – The Case of the Bird Watcher
Get access to the complete 280 Mysteries archive, including the episode we just recorded with Jeopardy host Ken Jennings, on the 372 Patreon: patreon.com/372pages Sally is once again pounding Bugs’ face into oblivion, Encyclopedia is still sucking in the gasoline fumes from his makeshift cash...
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372 Pages #188 – Ugly Love Ep 5 – This is Brad’s World Now
Be the first to find out what our next book is going to be, join the 372 Patreon and get access to every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive stuff you’ll only find there! patreon.com/372pages All good things must come to an end. Also, Ugly Love must come to an end, and it does, in...
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280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back #9 – The Case of the Missing Penny
Get access to the complete 280 Mysteries archive by supporting us on Patreon! patreon.com/372pages We’re back to Idaville, the boy detective, Leroy Brown, replete with gangs of roving toughs, girls breaking boys jaws: you know, the usual stuff. But can Mike crack this very, very tough case?
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372 Pages #187 – Ugly Love Ep 4 – No, Cap Does NOT Sport a Thong
Support the podcast on Patreon, where you’ll be the first to learn what we’re reading next and get access to a whole archive of stuff we’ve never released on the free feed! patreon.com/372pages If you’ve stuck with us this far you must be a fan of the words “kiss” and “heart.” And of the phrase...
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372 Pages Ep #186 – Ugly Love Ep 3 – Dillon = HERO
Support the podcast on Patreon! Get every episode a week early, plus access to the 280 Mysteries archive, plus fun stuff like the Choose Your Own Adventure live stream we did last month! patreon.com/372pages To be clear, Dillon is terrible. BUT he’s the least like a cardboard cutout of all these...
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280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back #8 – The Case of the Frightened Playboy
Gain access to the entire 280 Mysteries archive, plus get every episode of 372 Pages a week early, when you sign up for our Patreon! http://patreon.com/372pages There’s no bunnies or smoking jackets, but there is a frightened playboy. Let’s see if Mike can solve the case!
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372 Pages Ep #185 – Ugly Love Ep 2 – Kissing. SO Much Kissing…
Don’t be a Dylan, support the podcast on Patreon! https://patreon.com/372pages Follow us on TikTok! Look, Cap is a ghost. Or a specter. Or a haint, or something old-timey, and Tater is clearly either dead or in another realm (full disclosure: that is Mike’s guess. Conor has other theories) but no...
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280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back #7 – The Case of Cupid’s Arrow
Support the podcast on Patreon, where you get access to the complete 280 archive, every episode a week early, and other fun stuff! https://patreon.com/372pages Join us once again in Batshitcrazytown, USA, aka Idaville, where Encyclopedia Brown is attempting to solve a case that initially appears…
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back have?
372 Pages We'll Never Get Back currently has 242 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back about?
Conor Lastowka and Michael J. Nelson are reading books they're pretty sure they're going to hate. Read along with us for a podcast book clubs of Ready Player One, Armada, The Eye of Argon, Dan Brown, and more!
How often does 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back release new episodes?
372 Pages We'll Never Get Back publishes regularly with 242 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back?
You can listen to 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back?
372 Pages We'll Never Get Back is created and hosted by 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back.
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