PODCAST · comedy
Absolutely Not
by Dear Media
"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.
Episodes
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Throwback: Jennifer Lawrence: She's Got An Oscar, I've Got Sciatica
On this throwback episode, we are bringing you the only good thing to come out of Covid– Heather finding out that Jennifer Lawrence is a huge fan of the pod. Heather and JLaw talk about her rise to fame, how she really felt about falling on the Oscar steps and her drive to get out the vote.…
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Hearts from Harry Styles
On this episode, Heather recaps her insane week in NYC doing press for her new Hulu special, By A Thread! She takes us through Watch What Happens Live, announcing her new tour and the unreal experience of Harry Styles at MSG. Voicemails from gals getting cold calls which leads to conspiracy...
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The Pumpkin Lady
On this episode, Heather talks about the pressure of getting the house decorated for Halloween. The neighbors are doing construction and she is sitting in a house with no dining table, so the anxiety is high. She takes on voicemails from gals with music suggestions and one that reminds you to...
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Bonus: Call Nancy Grace, Not Me!
On this bonus episode, Heather is excited to share extra Absolutely Not’s that people from her Atlanta show wrote in. She tackles people's critiques about the new pod refresh and reminds everyone that she is not a crime junkie. Episode Sponsors: Hill House Home — Visit hillhousehome.com and use...
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Think 8 Steps Ahead
On this episode, Heather welcomes everyone to the new studio! It’s a fresh start, but we are still fired up. She chats about her upcoming shows, the Plague and of course, Gypsy Rose. We hear voicemails about women's hotel room safety, a girl who goes on an audition, and on that asks the…
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Body by Butter with Cortney LaCorte
On this episode, Heather welcomes Cortney LaCorte, the original Cheese Gal, from Nashville. Her first cook book, Oversharing, is now a NY Times best selling cookbook. They chat about their love of martinis, umami flavors and a death row meal. You will definitely get hungry listening to this. They...
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Ole Miss By A Million
On this episode, Heather is back after a weekend in Mississippi and fighting for her life with her weekly sinus infection. She chats about ladies in the Delta, the Ole Miss Game as well as saying goodbye to the office studio. We have cruise updates and how she is ramping up for her special press...
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Return of Baby Angel: Connor Wood
On this replay episode from March 2024, Heather welcomes Conor Wood to Absolutely Not and gives him some sage advice before he sets out on his first tour. Now a few years later, he has grown from Fibula to Dancing with the Stars. Episode Sponsors: Join Thrive Market today during their 25% off...
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Quiet on the Creek with Justin Sylvester
On this episode, Heather welcomes Justin Slyvester to the pod post Emmys! After doing it up all night at the after parties, they kiki about how he got his start as a “lady-sitter” at crazy southern weddings, his cross-country move to be Kyle Richards assistant, and how they were both up for the...
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Honey Deuce Diva
On this episode, Heather is coming to you from the NYC studio fresh off some press interviews for her new special. She chats about her amazing day at the US Open as well as getting into fights with boomers. She takes voicemails about boys at the gym, Facebook marketplace finds and is left with a...
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Caucasian Chicken Salad
On this episode, Heather is panicked after the passing of Dolly Parton and Tim Curry and is worried about who will be next. She is buying deep freezers, life straws and searching for sustainable beef. She takes voicemails from people wondering what we can eat, being a type B person, and a…
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Rewind: We Know What She Did Last Summer with Jennifer Love Hewitt
On this episode from July 3rd, 2019 Heather sits down with Jeff’s biggest crush of all time, Jennifer Love Hewitt. They discuss how she went from Kids Incorporated to a top Hollywood producer and all around bad bitch. They talk about love, grief, family and laugh through the pain of Hollywood....
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Where’s the Beef with Logan Crosby
On this episode, Heather is joined by one of her favorites, Logan Crosby. Logan will be joining us on the cruise again this year, but he also has his own new music that he is super excited about. While celebrating almost one year sober, Logan talks about how life has changed since the last time…
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Say What? It’s the 400th!
On this episode, Heather celebrates the 400th episode of the podcast. She is confused about how this is not the 4000th. Christina (aka Tina) joins in with some games and memories from over the years of working together on Absolutely Not. Episode Sponsors: Head to...
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Bonus: Heathers Stick Together with Heather Shaw
On this bonus episode, Heather welcomes Heather Shaw to the studio. Shaw is most known for her uncanny Jim Carrey impression and being vegan and sober. These two outspoken broads chat about if that was really Jim on the carpet a few months ago, the illuminati and other conspiracies. She is...
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Rush Hour
On this episode, Heather has just come back from an Ole Miss visit and is flying high from Rush work week. She is feeling nostalgic helping a friend’s kid move into the dorms, getting roped into Rush Tok, and figuring out that parents these days just love their kids more. Episode Sponsors…
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Home Goods High
On this episode, Heather is feeling the stress of “back to school”, and per usual she didn’t do her summer reading. She gets her energy out with Robin at a Home Goods that would convince any non shoppers to try it out. Voicemails from teachers, that first workout back, why everything has protein...
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Gout Girl
On this episode, Heather is hitting summer hard, but paying for it. We learn what the Doctor has diagnosed her with, the feelings seeing a Noah Kahan concert brought up and how life as a homeowner is starting out. We get iconic voicemails that are Absolutely Not going to disappoint. Episode...
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Forecast: Hot Takes!
On this episode, Heather is on a tear after some heated meetings as well as cancelled flights. While she had to miss the World Cup due to her own flight being canceled, she is here to teach everyone about flight etiquette. She chats about critics of The Odyssey, Lindsey Graham’s ladybugs, and how...
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Throwback: No Snackin’ in the Back
On this replay episode from November 2, 2022 Heather is back from taping her first special, Son I Never Had, in Lexington, Kentucky. She is full of gratitude as well as adrenaline after filming. Son I Never Had is now available to stream on Hulu and to watch for free on Youtube! Episode Sponsors:...
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Pitbull & Miss Worldwide
On this episode, Heather is back from one of the most insane weekends of her life. Manifested so hard that she ended up in Hyde Park with Pitbull breaking a world record for most bald caps! She chats about how emotional it was to see the Bald-es as well as meeting Armando. She also details the…
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Heavy Flow in Portofino
On this episode, Heather is back from Europe and shares the highs, lows, and heavy flows of her anniversary vacation including the story of finally securing The Bag in Paris. She explains why sometimes you just have to do it for the plot and how a decade of dressing as Pitbull led to a surreal...
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Memories with James Abrahart
On this episode, Heather is in LA and brings one of her oldest friends from childhood, James Abrahart to the pod. JHart is an award winning music producer, singer and reality star. Their lore starts in James’ parents basement where they used to create rap albums and eat way too many Pubsubs. They...
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Replay: No Passport, No Problem
On this replay episode from June 15, 2022 she is getting ready for her wedding in Italy, and fast forward to 2026 her and Jeff are on their way to Florence for their anniversary. You’ll hear Heather have a mental breakdown from the complete shitshow that has been her wedding prep. You’ll see that...
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American Tourist
On this episode, Heather is coming to you all live from a fabulous hotel in Florence, Italy where she and Jeff are celebrating their wedding anniversary. She starts off the pod chatting about her big move without one very important person- Robin. Heather chats about how Off Campus has changed her...
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Listen Now: The Dating Debrief
The Dating Debrief is the dating podcast about what happens after the date. Hosted by former Bachelor star Rachel Recchia, each season follows one single woman as she goes on 13 first dates in search of something real. But instead of hearing the dates themselves, you get the part everyone…
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Di-ancé with Rosebud Baker
On this episode, Heather welcomes Rosebud Baker back to the podcast. Rosebud has been busy since the last cruise. She now has a 2 year old daughter, is getting divorced and even had time to write a book! Fully Baked is a memoir that tackles family tragedy, motherhood, addiction all with honesty…
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Have What It Takes with Sharon McMahon
On this bonus episode, Heather continues her conversation with Sharon McMahon, covering a hypothetical run for office, a special tribute in Heather's act, and the story behind the “I Love Sharon McMahon” billboards. Episode Sponsors: Give your skin the affordable, luxurious glow up it deserves.…
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WTF Government with Sharon McMahon
On this episode, Heather welcomes America’s government teacher, Sharon McMahon. They chat about their shared last name, lake life in Minnesota, and of course WTF is going on with our country and government. Sharon breaks Heather’s questions down in a way that anyone with extreme ADHD can...
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Know The Assignment
On this episode, Heather is back in ATL after shooting her 3rd special in Knoxville, TN. She chats about the crazy audience members, going through a McDonalds drive-thru, how she was booking a vacation while she should’ve been concentrating on her special. It’s been a long weekend, and the next…
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Tour Trials & Tribulations with Andrew Collin, Raymond Padilla and Christina Tompkins
On this episode, Heather brings the road dogs to the studio to give us all an in-depth recap of tour life. Andrew, Raymond, Christina and Heather reminisce about their favorite cities, toughest shows, the origin of Texas Tony and someone's reliance on Recticare. Episode Sponsors: Refresh your...
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Bonus: Conspiracy Theory Hot Takes
On this bonus episode, Heather is excited to chat about conspiracy theories. Last week we gave you a prompt about your favorite theories. We spiral on the missing scientists, data centers, lost planes, the moon landing, the Antarctic ice wall and finding love with aliens. Episode Sponsors: Help...
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F*ck Yo Couch
On this episode, Heather is coming to you from the new NYC Dear Media studios. Fresh off the heels of Netflix is a Joke, she has some explaining to do about her show in LA. She got to see friends and foes alike! We get voicemails from women buying $20 panties and girlies having a cruise reunion…
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Ole Miss Divas with Jay Jurden
On this episode Heather brings hilarious comedian and friend Jay Jurden to the pod. Jay and Heather go all the way back to the undergrad theatre department at Ole Miss. They reminisce about their hate for Lane Kiffin, being a theatre major together and how their paths lead them to Netflix is a…
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Replay: Life's a Sprint
On this replay episode, Heather tells us what really happened at Netflix is a Joke in 2024. She gives a full recap of her time in Golden state and spills the tea from the comedy shows, after parties and more! She opens up about how her life has felt like a sprint and she just made it through the...
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Mean but True with Suzanne Lambert
On this episode, Heather welcomes Suzanne Lambert to the podcast to chat about all things growing up in Georgia, the drama of politics and spray tans. The commiserate about sorority life, hotties in the senate, and Connecticut Karen’s. Episode Sponsors: Head to...
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We’ll Cry In June
On this episode, Heather is in full overstimulation mode as she juggles work chaos, no WiFi, and a rogue bird. She explains why “we’ll cry in June” has become her current life motto and is ready to launch a full investigation into the missing scientists. She then gets to your calls about birth...
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Alternative Experiences
On this episode, Heather is back from her unreal show at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville. She chats about the afterparty on Broadway where she was pouring lemondrop shots for the girls where she is brought back to her days behind the sticks. After having a conspiracy dinner in the Turks, she…
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Trying Consistency
On this episode, Heather is down in the basement and going through a lot right now. Her fat kneecap is fat, but a visit to the Dr.’s office leads to hearing a missing puzzle piece about her Dad. She also chats about the Buff City Soap mafia coming for her. We hear voicemails from one of our Love…
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Replay: Master Scammers Part 2 with Raymond Padilla
In honor of Masters Week, we are replaying a 2023 episode where we join Heather as she sits down with the ultimate scammer, Raymond. We discuss how they scammed their way into the Masters tournament, yet again. It is an in-depth observation into the golf world that rarely few people get to see....
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Big Bold Bitches with Becky Robinson
On this episode, Heather welcomes Becky Robinson back to the podcast studio after breaking the hard news that Becky cannot join us on the Absolutely Knot Cruise 2.0. They chat about the happy memories from the cruise. Becky lets us know how she lets loose when she comes home from the road.…
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Spring Break Guardian Angels
On this episode, Heather is at the LA studio and welcoming her first live callers! These hussies really bring some wild spring break Absolutely Not’s to Heather and we are forever changed! We have callers that were down at the Villages, on a hetero bachelor party in Baltimore, wheelin’ and…
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Bonus: Arigato Gozaimasu with Jeff Daniels
On this episode, Heather welcomes Jeff to the studio to discuss all things Japan! They go through their wagyu dinner reservations, baseball with Ohtani, treats from 7-11 and overall Japanese culture. They give you everything you need to know before heading over to Japan for the first time.…
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Blonde Blindness
On this episode, Heather is back in Robin's Basement and ready to take on the chaos of the week. She has some exciting news about an upcoming live voicemails episode- make sure to take notes on how you can be chosen to chat with Heather. She has fresh highlights, lashes and is contemplating how a...
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Consciously Unconscious
On this episode, Heather is back from Japan and has already put on her Nurse Ratchet outfit. There is no rest yet, she has to now take care of a toddler, figure out what to do with a frozen Christmas ham and get a surgery scheduled. She takes on voicemails about the origins of tiramisu and men...
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Replay: Princess of Peace
On this episode from March 9, 2022, we hear Heather go on a real tear about International Women's Day. Coming off of a great weekend in Albany slinging jokes on tour, she's back with attitude and some Heather health advice (we all know she is not a Dr., but wears a short white coat). Heather also...
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Get Thee to Therapy with Nicole Byer
On this episode, Heather welcomes fellow comedian Nicole Byer. They chat about meeting in the NYC comedy scene, the Heated Rivalry boys, and disassociating while on stage performing. They take on a voicemail about having sex dreams about a boss. You can find Nicole’s new crowd work special on...
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Choosing the Bear
On this episode, Heather has skeeted into the house fresh off a nose bleed. She is ready to take on her birthday month of March! She shares details of an upcoming shoot she is nervous about and her shows in Texas and her roots in the rodeo. Heading to Japan soon, she is ready to adopt Punch...
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Well Endowed with Vivian Tu
On this episode, Heather welcomes back your rich BFF, Vivian Tu, back to the pod. She is ready for all of you to be well-endowed, but wants you to make sure you don’t fall for the traps of online marketing. Vivian wants you to ask yourself- are you buying the thing or the feeling? Heather goes to...
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Red Envelope Olympics
On this episode, Heather is fresh off her sleep apnea test and ready for Chinese New Year. While she is awaiting results, she is fully immersed in the nail-biting world of the Winter Olympics. She takes voicemails from listeners who want to know more about going on WWHl and how Andy Cohen feels...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.
HOSTED BY
Dear Media
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Absolutely Not have?
Absolutely Not currently has 414 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Absolutely Not about?
"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic...
How often does Absolutely Not release new episodes?
Absolutely Not publishes regularly with 414 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Absolutely Not?
You can listen to Absolutely Not on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Absolutely Not?
Absolutely Not is created and hosted by Dear Media.
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