ADHD KC Conversations

If you joined us for our recent ADHDKC Parent Group—or if you missed it—you can now watch the full recording of our powerful talk with Dr. Matt Lindquist.This is one of the most important (and most validating) conversations we’ve had for families navigating ADHD.🧠 Why This Talk MattersDr. Lindquist walked us through a cluster of conditions that often show up together:* ADHD* Anxiety* Obesity & metabolic health challenges* Binge eating* Sleep difficultiesThese are not separate issues—and they are not personal failures.They are deeply connected through biology.He explained how:* Poor sleep worsens executive function and increases sugar cravings* Anxiety and stress (cortisol) disrupt sleep and contribute to weight gain* ADHD-related dopamine differences can drive reward-seeking behaviors like overeating* These conditions create cycles that reinforce each other🍽️ What We Learned About Food, Weight & ADHDDr. Lindquist broke down why weight management is so complex in ADHD:* Sleep deprivation disrupts hunger and fullness hormones* Low dopamine can lead to seeking stimulation through highly palatable foods* Binge eating disorder is common—and often misunderstoodHe emphasized:👉 Occasional overeating is normal👉 Frequent episodes or loss of control may need professional supportWe also discussed treatment approaches, including:* Behavioral strategies* Nutrition support* Medications (when appropriate)⚙️ Executive Function & Eating PatternsADHD doesn’t just affect attention—it impacts daily habits around food:* Impulse control challenges* Time blindness (skipping meals → evening overeating)* Difficulty with planning and consistencyThese are brain-based barriers, not lack of willpower.🧩 Practical Strategies You Can Start UsingDr. Lindquist shared actionable tools families can implement right away:1. Build Structure* Schedule regular meals to prevent crashes and binge cycles* Create consistent sleep routines2. Start with Protein* Supports dopamine and norepinephrine* Helps prevent energy crashes and cravings3. Rethink “Healthy” Snacks* Many packaged foods (like granola bars) are high in added sugar* Better options: eggs, Greek yogurt, cottage cheese4. Shape the Environment* Keep tempting foods out of sight (or out of the house)* Make healthier options easy and visible5. The “Dopamine Menu” — a list of go-to activities that provide stimulation without defaulting to food6. SleepSleep plays a central role in everything:* ADHD can delay melatonin release → later bedtimes* Poor sleep → worse focus, mood, and food choices* Evening wakefulness increases risk of overeatingKey tips:* Consider low-dose melatonin (0.5–1 mg; less is often more)* Limit caffeine and screen time later in the day* Prioritize consistent sleep schedules💬 Final TakeawayPerhaps the most important message:These patterns are biological, not behavioral failures.When we understand the brain, we can:* Reduce shame* Improve support* Make more effective, individualized choices🎥 Watch the full recording now and share it with someone who needs this perspective.At ADHDKC, we’re committed to bringing you conversations that connect the dots—and help your family move forward with clarity and confidence. For the full transcript, visit our website. Chapters00:00 Understanding ADHD and Its Impact on Families02:01 The Connection Between ADHD and Obesity03:39 The Anxiety and Sleep Loop05:47 Binge Eating and Emotional Eating08:09 Executive Function and Impulse Control10:19 Strategies for Managing ADHD and Weight12:32 Nutrition and Its Role in ADHD Management14:44 Creating Structure for Success16:53 Conclusion and Final Thoughts23:21 Healthy Eating Strategies for Kids26:51 Sleep Challenges and Solutions for ADHD29:09 Navigating ADHD and Anxiety30:52 Empowering Kids with ADHD32:12 Practical Tips for Parents34:20 Intermittent Fasting and Eating Patterns38:01 Vitamins, Supplements, and Sleep42:23 Intuitive Eating and ADHD This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

Have you ever had a moment where everything is ready to go — the gym clothes are out, the homework plan is made, the reminders are set — and then when the time comes… your brain just says nope?If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.In our latest episode of ADHDKC Conversations, hosts Kristen Stuppy and Sara Whelan sit down with ADHD coach Mike Legett to explore the fascinating neuroscience behind motivation and decision-making in ADHD brains.This conversation began when Kristen heard Mike speak at the ADHD International Conference in Kansas City. After the talk, Kristen immediately asked her to speak for ADHDKC — because her explanation of complex genetics was one of the most clear explanations, understandable to even non-science nerds. It was her favorite talk from the entire conference and she knows ADHDKC parents would love to hear Mike communicate science.In this episode, Mike gives listeners a preview of the ideas she’ll share during the upcoming ADHDKC Parent Group talk on May 12th, where she will present:“To Do, or Not To Do? Decision Neuroscience and ADHD.”Why ADHD Brains Sometimes Can’t Get StartedMany parents say the same thing:“My child knows what to do — they just can’t get started.”Mike explains that the problem usually isn’t knowledge or intelligence. Instead, it’s the brain’s internal decision-making system trying to answer a much more basic question:“Is this worth it right now?”ADHD brains weigh that question differently. Rather than prioritizing importance or long-term consequences, they respond strongly to things that feel:• interesting• immediate• novel• challenging• emotionally engagingUnderstanding this can completely change how we respond when kids (or adults) seem stuck.Moving From Frustration to CompassionOne of the most powerful parts of this conversation is how understanding brain science can reduce shame.Instead of assuming a child is lazy, careless, or defiant, neuroscience shows us something very different: the brain may simply be struggling to activate the task.As Mike puts it:“What’s hard is hard — and it’s hard for a reason.”That shift in perspective opens the door to more effective strategies and more compassionate parenting.Practical Ideas From the EpisodeIn this conversation you’ll hear about:• Why “try harder” doesn’t actually help ADHD motivation• The difference between effort problems and activation problems• Why importance doesn’t automatically create motivation in ADHD brains• How collaborative problem-solving helps kids build autonomy• A simple mindset shift that helps parents slow down and find real solutionsYou’ll also hear Mike share how her unusual career path (though not atypical for an ADHDer) — from an engineering undergrad to a genetics grad student to an internationally recognized swing dance instructor to an ADHD coach — shaped the way she understands learning, motivation, and brain science.Want to Learn More?This episode is just the beginning.Mike will be our featured speaker at the next ADHDKC Parent Group online event:Tuesday, May 126:30 PM CentralTo Do, or Not To Do? Decision Neuroscience and ADHD During that talk, Mike will go deeper into the brain science behind decision-making and explain complex concepts in clear, approachable language that parents can actually use.If you’ve ever wondered why motivation seems so unpredictable in ADHD — this is a conversation you won’t want to miss.Register for the Parent Group event here.And in the meantime, watch the full ADHDKC Conversations episode above, on our YouTube channel, or listen on your favorite podcast player.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage00:17 Understanding ADHD and Decision-Making03:16 Mike Leggett’s Journey to ADHD Coaching08:22 Learning and Motivation: A Unique Perspective10:24 Decision Neuroscience Explained12:52 The Challenge of Getting Started15:43 The Equation of Motivation19:52 Building Compassion Through Understanding22:41 Common Misconceptions About ADHD and Motivation24:11 Mindset Shifts for Parents26:23 Practical Strategies for Families28:03 Supporting Autonomy and Motivation31:05 Strategies for Adults with ADHD33:34 Bridging the Gap in Understanding ADHD35:05 Key Takeaways for Parents36:57 Fun and Personal InsightsTranscript - autogenerated, excuse the errorsKristen Stuppy (00:17)Welcome back to ADHDKC Conversations. I’m Kristen Stuppy.Sara Whelan (00:22)And I’m Sara Whelan. We’re so glad to have you here with us. And whether you’re a parent, educator, professional, someone navigating ADHD yourself, our goal is always the same, to bring you practical insights, really compassionate perspectives and conversations that just help make life a little easier.Kristen Stuppy (00:43)And today’s episode is one that I think a lot of families are going to recognize themselves in. You know these moments where you want to do something, you’ve planned it, you’ve prepared for it, but when the time comes, your brain just says,Sara Whelan (00:58)Yeah, for sure. Like, gym clothes are ready. We’ve got the homework all planned out. Morning routine is mapped out. But somehow it just doesn’t all happen or any of it happens at all. If that sounds familiar, you’re definitely not alone. You’re in good company here.Kristen Stuppy (01:16)Today we’re going to begin talking about the neuroscience of decision-making, specifically how ADHD brains decide what feels worth doing and what doesn’t. And we have an incredible guest here to help us unpack things in a way that actually makes sense in real life. I do have to say that I heard Mike talk at the November ADHD International big convention here in Kansas City, and she’s the...only speaker I went up to after the talk and asked her if I could ask her to speak for this group because it was by far the best talk I heard at that entire conference. She made genetics very relatable. And I do have a science background, but I don’t think I needed the science background to understand what she was saying. So I’m very excited that she’s here today.Sara Whelan (02:07)Fantastic. I’m so excited. I do not have a science background and just cannot wait to learn your insights and what you have to share with us and our audience.Kristen Stuppy (02:11)Bye.Sara Whelan (02:17)We’re joined today by Mike Leggett. Mike’s an ADHD coach. Hi, welcome. And she has a wonderfully unique background in science and art. And she got her start in genetics, later became an internationally recognized swing and blues dance instructor. I have a dance background. Love that. fantastic. And now helps ADHD clients move from being overwhelmed, frustrated toward being curious.Mike Legett (02:22)youSara Whelan (02:44)having momentum in their lives and making meaningful progress.Mike Legett (02:47)youKristen Stuppy (02:49)AndMike describes herself as a proud nerd, which we absolutely love because I am also a proud nerd. And she’s passionate again about translating complex neuroscience into language that parents and individuals can actually use. She’ll be our featured speaker at the ADHD KC parent group event on Tuesday, May 12th at 6.30 PM Central. And in today’s conversation, it’s a great preview of what families can expect.Sara Whelan (02:53)Okay.Mike, welcome to ADHD KC conversations. We’re just so glad you’re here.Mike Legett (03:20)Thank you. Thankyou so much. ⁓ am thrilled and honored ⁓ and also delighted. And thank you, Kristen. Man, that really feels good to hear. So thank you so much.Kristen Stuppy (03:32)That’s awesome. I think I did a review for you as well online. hopefully you’ll be invited back to more of those talks. But I do love hearing about the journey from science into coaching. Can you tell us a little more about what drew you to ADHD coaching specifically?Mike Legett (03:35)Yay!Yeah, it was exactly as straight and linear a path as you might expect from an ADHD-er. So I, you know, I actually was always interested in science and arts and writing and, right, just all the things. And when I was in high school, right, I was like, I’m going to be an engineer. So I went to undergrad and I was like, yeah, I’m going to be engineer. And then I got in there. I was like, no, I’m not.I’m going to be a vet in my last year undergrad. was like, well, okay, no. Instead, I’m going to do genetics because I had a professor who was, I think she said she had ADHD. If not, she certainly got it. she, know, molecular genetics was super interesting. It was a puzzle. So I started my PhD in molecular genetics and I had been diagnosed ⁓ as a kid with ADHD, which is remarkable for a woman in her forties who was inattentive, which might give you a hint as to like,how noticeable it was that I didn’t skate by. But it wasn’t managed ⁓ through anything other than know, gritted teeth and overcommitment, which was my maladaptive coping mechanism, right? So by the time I get to grad school, my coping mechanisms weren’t working anymore. So I was sitting in this grad school library, right? And this article,comes across my desk, digital desk, about ADHD in women and what it looked like. Because when I was a kid, they were like, you have ADHD. That’s why you’re disorganized and distracted. You can try Ritalin. And I was like, cool. I don’t like Ritalin. And they’re like, cool. Have a good life. That was it. And so this article comes across my desk. And I was like, this is my entire life explained, every aspect. Because again, I was left with, this is why you’re distracted and disorganized. So there was like,Sara Whelan (05:34)Mm-hmm.Mike Legett (05:35)ugly crying in a grad school library, as one does. And so I ended up dropping out of grad school because the graduate program said, we can’t, you know, I know you’ve been diagnosed, but you have to get re-diagnosed. And there were all these hoops to jump through. And there was all this ambiguity, makes sense for a graduate program, for PhD program. But it just, it was a terrible fit. My brain felt like it was on fire every day. SoBy that point, I was already doing dance basically full time. And so I metaphorically ran away to join the circus. I taught dance full time and it was the, it was like the perfect antidote to the grad school experience because everything, everything was in the moment. Everything was immediate. It was physical. was interpersonal. It was, you know, problem solving that was short-term. How do I get you?Kristen Stuppy (06:09)youMike Legett (06:29)to understand what I’m saying and move in this way right now and feel it. So it was like dream career for my unmanaged ADHD. Amazing. Still love science, still kept learning about the brain and about ADHD. I’m not afraid of peer reviewed journals, I’m not afraid of terms I don’t know because of that background. So that stayed with me. And then pandemic hit.Kristen Stuppy (06:33)Okay.Mike Legett (06:54)And suddenly it felt like not a great idea to have people fly in from multiple states every weekend to hug while exercising. As one can imagine. So it’s funny because series of coincidences, right? Because I hadn’t had a corporate overlord to tell me, don’t talk about mental health struggles online, right? And like, don’t publicly discuss what’s hard about picking up socks off the floor. Like,I’ve been very open about those things. And so when I started looking for a different career option, I was thinking like, okay, I want to help people in this field because people reached out and they’re like, my gosh, hearing somebody else talk about this, hearing somebody else get it.Um, you know, had somebody tell me they got diagnosed because of my Facebook posts about like what was hard for me. Um, and so I, I was like, I want to help people with this. One thing led to another ADHD coaching came across my desk and I was like, this has so much in common with teaching dance at a high level in ways that you might not expect, but it combines that with my love of science and with helping people with a thing that gets in their way that doesn’t have to. So.Kristen Stuppy (07:55)ThankMike Legett (08:07)You know, straight as an arrow.Sara Whelan (08:09)Mike, you’ve had such a unique path from genetics to dance to coaching.So I’m curious, how did those different experiences shape how you think about learning and motivation?Mike Legett (08:22)Yeah, think...Sara Whelan (08:23)I’ll take a sip too.Mike Legett (08:26)Sorry guys, I’m just going through puberty today, it’s So, great. How do they each affect how I think about learning and motivation?Sara Whelan (08:29)Thank you.Yes. Yep.Mike Legett (08:41)It’s funny because in the moment, I wasn’t directly learning about those things. I didn’t think I was. And looking back, I can see it, right? Like I was in grad school because of my like inherent motivation, my curiosity to learn about genetics and to do the problem solving and to understand the way the world works, right? What didn’t work about that was the ambiguity, theSara Whelan (08:46)Mm-hmm.Mike Legett (09:09)lack of structure, the expectations that weren’t concrete but that were very real and had consequences. So like I think that was a really great sort ofoutline of like, okay, what’s hard? What does motivate you? Right. And where, where there’s a gap there versus in dance where again, everything was so in the moment that I didn’t have to sort of generate motivation on my own. All I had to do is show up. Right. And then the minute somebody’s there asking me a question, like, I’m good to go. Let’s do this thing. You know? Um, and so I think now working with clients, it’s a lot easier for me to see the way that settingand the way that the type of motivation needed affected those different situations. Does that make sense?Sara Whelan (09:56)Absolutely. Yeah, does. and really speaks to how important the combination sometimes of like setting and other factors really be a hindrance or so helpful and vital for those with ADHD, right? ⁓ and jumping into the main topic is, which can be very intimidating to some people, decision neuroscience.Kristen Stuppy (09:57)youOkay.Mike Legett (10:13)Absolutely.Sara Whelan (10:24)I’m curious, right, about this, don’t really necessarily know what it means. Could you explain it in everyday language for us?Mike Legett (10:31)happily. So I love that neuroscience sounds like such a big fancy word, right? And it really is like, how do brain do? Right? So this, it’s like, how do brain decide? Right? And when I talk about decision neuroscience here, the assumption is that people will have, some people will have no science background whatsoever. Right?Sara Whelan (10:40)Yep.Mike Legett (10:56)And some people may, but I want to make sure that people can get a foundational understanding. Because I think this is a little off topic, not an apology, just an acknowledgement. I think it’s really hard. There’s a big gap between the information that’s aimed at clinicians and professionals and the information that’s aimed at laypeople. for laypeople, I think that learning from really highquality sources is hard because it tends to come with a lot of science background and when you don’t know what you don’t know, we don’t have the scaffolding to build on, that’s a barrier. Because it’s a barrier that doesn’t have to be there, right? And so, you know, anytime I talk about like big scary words, I like to give it enough of a scaffolding that lets people then build up. if, know, ⁓ Kristen, you said you went to the genetics talk. I just listened to theKristen Stuppy (11:40).Okay.Mike Legett (11:50)the like online conference genetic talk bya genetics researcher. And I was, I was patting my back, myself on the back, honestly, like just, just to break, because I was like, yes, if people listen to the first one, then they’re, they’re probably able to mostly hang in this one. Right. And like, that’s what I want. I want people to be able to go and learn from those sources that are currently unreachable. So don’t be scared of the big words. I promise I will make them very understandable.Kristen Stuppy (12:12)ThankYes, I think.Sara Whelan (12:20)inapproachable.Mike Legett (12:20)Howdo you brain decide do?Sara Whelan (12:22)Right.Kristen Stuppy (12:23)Youknow, I feel like I hear you completely there. I teach our teen group talk and trying to teach them, I use different examples all the time and try to get them to think through it. And I love talking about the animals of the brain.Mike Legett (12:37)Yeah, love that.Kristen Stuppy (12:39)So anyway, one thing parents will tell me all the time as a pediatrician is my child knows what to do. They just can’t get started. And so can you maybe talk a little bit about what’s happening in the brain in that moment?Mike Legett (12:52)Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So first off, let’s, you know, one of the elephants in the room, right? We talk about motivation. And I think one of the challenges is that we’re not careful with how we define motivation. And so in that moment, I think we could all say, the child isn’t motivated to do the thing. But what does that mean? Does that mean that there are the child lacks forces compelling them to do it? No, it doesn’t.What it means is the child has too many forces on one side of the equation of don’t do it compared to the forces saying do it, right? Because the output from your brain when you consider do it and don’t do it, right? What your brain sort of decides is motivation. The output is motivation. So if I give you a nice warm cup of tea and I say would you like a sip?and you’re like, that sounds good. I want that. Your brain has decided, T sounds good. If I offer you a bucket of ice water, I’m like, would you like to stick your hand on this? And your brain is like, absolutely not. That sounds horrible, right? Your brain is motivated to not do it. Now, if I put a quarter in the bottom and I’m like, you can have this quarter if you want to grab it. Maybe you do it. Maybe you don’t. What if I put your house keys in there? Right. It’s the same bucket of ice water. You’re just as capable in both circumstances, but you might not.Kristen Stuppy (13:56)youOkay.Okay.Mike Legett (14:16)bewilling to dip your hand in for a quarter. Now, the difference here is that we’re talking about cognitive level choices at this point. We’re talking about, is it worth it to you based on long-term choices, blah, blah. But in these moments when we can’t start, it’s further back in the process than that. It is more primal, if you will. Our brains are trying to keep us alive. That’s what they do. And so they are trying to figure out, how do I avoid things likeKristen Stuppy (14:31)So,Mike Legett (14:45)damage to myself and discomfort because discomfort is an indication of damage to myself. How do I gain things that feel good? So when your kid can’t get started on something, even though they know, knowing was never the problem. The problem isat like a feelings level, at a body to brain communication level, their brain has said, this is a bad idea, right? And they can, you can words it all you want. It won’t change how it feels. And thus that motivation.isn’t there. And so with that problem now, at that point, then the problem solving is very different situation, right? Because a timer won’t change the way they feel. If they truly didn’t notice the passage of time, a timer can help. If they are stuck because they dread this assignment, then a timer doesn’t change.Kristen Stuppy (15:33)Okay.Sara Whelan (15:36)So tell me a little bit more about what goes into this equation, like how in making choices and being motivated.Mike Legett (15:43)Yeah, absolutely. So I mentioned that brains want to survive, right? And the way that they figure out how they’re going to survive or what’s moving them towards or away from survival at this really basic sort of cellular level is discomfort or damage or effort. And when I say like effort, for example, I don’t mean is it difficult. A lot of times parents are like, well, my kid is plenty smart enough. Of course they are, right?That was never the problem. Um, when, when you think about an ADHD brain and effort, think about tedium or think about like, fatiguing. It’s not that they’re not smart enough. Sometimes something that’s harder cognitively is easier because it’s more challenging, right? Which brings me to a really important point that ADHD brains, probably, many of you have probably heard this, but we are interest based nervous system. So.Kristen Stuppy (16:35)It’s.Mike Legett (16:36)things that interest us feel to our brain like survival. That feels like a slice of cake. That feels like safety, a warm fire, right? And like a celebration all in one,right? Importance is actually not one of the prime factors here. So if you have ever thought or ever heard like, well, if it was important to them, they would do it. Like, let’s get rid of that right now because honestly,That isn’t how it works. I think it might be for neurotypicals. I’ve never been a neurotypical. I don’t know. I sort of get the impression based on the way that people talk about it that maybe for a neurotypical person, their brain takes importance and converts it into motivation. That’s real not true for us. ⁓ So instead of importance, which is like high level, that’s like our values, that’s our long-term planning, that’s effects down the road, interest is right now.Kristen Stuppy (17:19)Okay.Thank you.Mike Legett (17:30)And so for ADHD years, right, we feel things more strongly. Our decisions are more feelings informed. All decisions are feelings informed. That is important to know, but ours are more and the way we perceive time is different. And so when ADHD brains make these choices, what’s hard? What don’t you like about it? What’s uncomfortable about it? Like, why not? And then on the plus side, like, why do it?Sara Whelan (17:43)ThankMike Legett (17:56)Right? Is it fun? Is it challenging? Is it social? Is it concrete? Is it immediate? Right? And so again, if we think about how we problem solve for moments of I can’t get started, it’s really not about those like end point things. It’s about the characteristics of the task and our relationship to the task itself.Kristen Stuppy (18:20)Yeah, so making the task fun or somehow doable because it’s interesting.Mike Legett (18:27)Yeah, right? And one of the, you know, one of the big things that I think is useful to consider is that like, there are some tasks where they are like, they’re not horrible, they’re not great. In which case, like making it fun is what it takes. And then there are some tasks where like, making it fun will never be enough. Right? Like there is no amount of fun you could put into like calling the bank because you had an overdraft.Sara Whelan (18:47)Mm-hmm.Mike Legett (18:56)It’s never going to be fun enough. You know, there are other ways to tackle that, but recognizing like, okay, how fun can it be? Like how much? Yes. How much? No. Ooh, there’s a lot of no there. Or there’s just, there’s almost no, no, there’s almost no. Yes. Right. Different solutions for different contexts and different problems.Kristen Stuppy (19:16)Yeah, so important there.Mike Legett (19:19)Mm-hmm. Yeah.Sara Whelan (19:19)Absolutely.I’m already thinking about stuff in my own life that you’re talking about. So I’m having to track and focus on the task again, because I’m interested in that. like, all right.Mike Legett (19:26)YouSara Whelan (19:31)One of the things I really appreciate about your work is that you build compassion and help people build compassion, self-compassion, right? For kids and for the adults in their lives. How can understanding decision-making help reduce shame, frustration, things like that?Mike Legett (19:52)how does understanding this help build compassion?Sara Whelan (19:55)Yep.Mike Legett (19:56)is such a great and important question. When we understand the biological basis for what we experience from those around us and from ourselves, it becomes a lot easier to understand it and to sort of meet these brains where they are. When we don’t understand, I think it’s a lot easier to, you know, assign character implications or decide something is a moral failing. When we understand thebiological basis and we understand what’s happening, it becomes a lot easier to separate somebody’s internal life from their outcomes. So if I understand that, you know, that somebody needs glasses and they don’t have glasses, they have terrible eyesight, right? And then I yell at them for not catching the typos on a wall mural that’s really far away.because it’s not important to them because they didn’t care because they didn’t try like.Whoa, that makes me a really mean person if I knew, right? If I didn’t know that they had glasses, I mean, okay, still not in my nature to like yell at somebody, but you get the idea, right? Like, if I know that this person needs glasses, then A, I give them glasses. B, I give them another task. C, I give them an assistant to help them, whatever, right? I no longer think like, ⁓ they’re trying to sabotage the mural project, right?Sara Whelan (21:19)Mm-hmm.Mike Legett (21:26)And so understanding where something comes from and how it plays out, I think it just helps us accept the fact that it’s real. And it helps us to accept the things that are gonna help and the things that are not gonna help. like try harder. That is meaningless. That is meaning. I tell my clients all the time, like, I think willpower is made up. I think discipline is.Like again, made up. These are just cudgels for us to beat ourselves up with. I don’t buy into it. Motivation is real, but it’s not like what we think is important in the long-term for our better selves, right? Motivation is the feeling we get that says do it or don’t. Now we change our context, we manage what goes in and we can change our motivation or we work around it. We say, okay, I’m not going to be motivated to do this. What do I do so I can get started anyway?Sara Whelan (22:20)Mm-hmm.Kristen Stuppy (22:21)Thanks.Mike Legett (22:23)Right? Those are our options, not like just try harder. Sure. Yeah. Grab my magic. Try harder feather.Kristen Stuppy (22:32)So what are some of the most common misconceptions that you see parents have when they see their child avoiding or procrastinating something?Mike Legett (22:41)Mm-hmm. So I think one is, again, is like, it’s an effort problem. Like, that doesn’t mean anything, you know? It’s an activation problem, not an effort problem. If they can’t activate, they can’t put in the effort. You know, I think something that is genuinely hard, and I have a lot of like empathy for parents in this situation, right? It’s hard to see your kid able to play video games for hours on end or able to clean their room when a friend is coming over, but not because it’s important to you.Right? And at the same time, there’s this paradox where you know your kid is smart. You know your kid is loving and wonderful. Right? And so like, where’s the disconnect? So I think even these days, there’s a lot more good information out there. Right? We used to assume we, luckily this was mostly before my time, but like the common assumption used to be like, this is a bad parenting problem, or this is a bad kid problem. And neither of those things are true. It’s a brain that doesn’t fit into a neuro-typical context.And so as parents start to understand that, that again, it becomes harder to project the wrong idea onto the kid and easier to see what’s really going on with the kid. So yeah, if, if you’re like, my kid just needs discipline. My kid just needs, you know, willpower. My kid just needs someone to teach them the right calendar app.Kristen Stuppy (23:57)Mm-hmm.Mike Legett (23:58)I think those are, they come from an understandable place,right? We get messaging like that all the time. But if you’re noticing they’re not serving you and they’re not helping, like it’s for a reason.Sara Whelan (24:10)Absolutely. And for parents who are listening right now and maybe thinking, this is what goes on in my house every morning, every day. What’s a mindset shift, maybe one that would help immediately in those moments?Kristen Stuppy (24:10)Yeah.Mike Legett (24:25)Yeah,good question. I think the biggest one is going from like, I just need to fix this. This is going to be, this is going to sound semantic and I promise it’s not. You know, we need to fix this to, we need to figure out how to fix this. That sounds really subtle and again, semantic, but let me, let me give you an example. It will be about parents, but it’s just one I have top of mind. Let’s say that you’rethrowing a party and you’re super overwhelmed and you can’t get started. One thing, like an exercise I might do with you is say, OK, let’s write down all the uncertainties. So you write down all the things you don’t know. Who’s doing food? What’s the date? Where am I going to have it? Blah, blah, blah. The next step for many people would be jumping to try to solve these. But if I want to slow down a brain, I might say, OK, now write down how you could figure it out.So for the date, well, I need to talk to my partner and pick a date with them, with the calendar. That’s a different question. That’s a different answer than I would get if I asked you, cool, so what’s the date going to be? And just that added little layer, what it does is it recognizes that something is in the way. And it helps you get a little space and a little bit of distance.Sara Whelan (25:37)Mm-hmm.Mike Legett (25:47)from the intensity of the emotion of solve it right now. And so, when you have like chaos or unsolvable problems or whatever, they’re not unsolvable, I know, right? But they feel that way. It’s a real feeling. When you encounter that, like, instead of thinking like, what’s the solution, think about like, okay, what are the uncertainties? And when I’m calm, how could I solve those?Sara Whelan (25:51)Mm-hmm.Yeah. Yes.Kristen Stuppy (26:04)youMike Legett (26:13)And like ideally, how could we solve those collaboratively, right?The other people involved. Cool. That’s so much easier. Sometimes, often, but yeah.Sara Whelan (26:20)Mm-hmm. Yeah.Kristen Stuppy (26:24)Yeah, I love the idea of like slowing down the brain and not trying to solve the problem right away before you. Like that stop to gather more information and to know what your problem really is before you try to solve. So let’s talk some more practical strategies as we understand the brain and making these decisions. What are some tools that families can start experimenting with?Mike Legett (26:29)It’s so hard, it takes practice.You ready? huh.Yeah, I think tying back to the idea of collaborative problem solving. I know that parents struggle with the, do I get my kid to do the thing? Because again, that’s what we’ve seen around us. But if you can start asking your kid what’s hard, if you can start asking them what’s in the way and not in a way that’s trying to lead them to an answer.but in a way that is holding space and helping to co-regulate with them, giving them the sort of emotional stability so that they can face those feelings and think. Because the ADHD brain trying to survive, discomfort means damage. What do do when we feel discomfort? We bounce. We bounce. We’re out. So when your kid says, don’t know, your kid just bounced, right? Their brain ran away from discomfort. if, if you can get,Kristen Stuppy (27:19)Okay.Mike Legett (27:39)to a point of like, what’s getting in the way? What’s hard? Like, that’s a really big shift, you know, and it may sound a little vague to be practical, but like, try it. What’s hard? Where are you stuck?Sara Whelan (27:55)So how can parents support autonomy and motivation instead of getting stuck in power struggles? That’s a common one, right? Right. Very tough.Mike Legett (28:04)Have you tried a magic wand? just, know, fairy godmode.Yeah, again, like I think the more collaborative, the more co-regulate, co-regulative. Yeah, I’m say that’s a, that’s a word. You know, the more cooperative we can be in these moments and the more we can support kids. A.that helps you be on the same page and working as a team, which feels so much better than nobody wants to fight with their kids, you know? It also models for the kids how to do this for themselves. If I’m a kid and I can’t start cleaning my room, that was my childhood. I definitely could never clean my room as a kid, right? And if my parents had come and said, why can’t you just do this? God!Kristen Stuppy (28:37)Okay.Mike Legett (28:54)You know what I learned to say in my head? I learned to say, why can’t I just do this? God. Right? If my parent is able to come in and say, it’s a lot, huh? I get that. Totally fair that it’s a lot. What’s one place you could start? What’s task? What’s one aspect? What if you find all the shoes? What if we just look for shoes together? Right?Kristen Stuppy (29:00)Okay.Mike Legett (29:24)It helps model that and the kids learn to do that sort of thing. so instead of like, you have to start this right now, right? That’s trying to force and guess what? We’re adding negative emotion to a situation. It’s already full of negative emotion. The motivation that that creates is to escape even harder. you know, and so thinking through like, how can you get started? What’s one thing you could do?Sara Whelan (29:43)Mm-hmm. Yeah.Mike Legett (29:53)That gives the kid the choice of themselves that helps them think like, could I start? Not someone’s forcing me, but how can I do this? That increasing their sense of agency, figuring, letting them choose where to start gives them that sense of autonomy. And obviously those choices are going to shift over a kid’s development. Because the way you might approach this problem with a teenager is going to be different than with a four-year-old.Kristen Stuppy (30:08)So.ThankMike Legett (30:20)But I think that fundamental skill set and approach is the same. And, you know, the earlier parents can start doing it, the more they can equip their kids to self-regulate and to step back and to slow down and to think about how they can solve the problem instead of what’s the answer right now, right?Sara Whelan (30:40)Mm-hmm. Yeah.Kristen Stuppy (30:40)Right.And what about adults with ADHD? A lot of our parents have ADHD. They may or may not have a diagnosis of ADHD, but we know that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. If they’re dealing with kids with ADHD, probably at least one of the parents has ADHD and they might not be recognizing some of these patterns in themselves. How would you advise an adult with ADHD to approach some of these strategies?Mike Legett (31:05)Would it sound cheeky if I said the exact same thing? Because honestly, the exact same thing.Sara Whelan (31:10)No, not at all. In fact, I’m thinkinglike, this applies all throughout life, this particular skill set, right? Like no matter what your age is.Mike Legett (31:16)It does. the... Yeah, absolutely. Andit’s funny, so many adults feel like we have to solve this in a vacuum. We have to be able to motivate ourselves using spontaneous motivation in the moment because we said so, because whatever. And I’ll tell you, like, if we had a dollar for every time I said to my husband or a friend or a coworker, like,Sara Whelan (31:34)Mm-hmm.Mike Legett (31:43)I’m stuck. I talk this through with you? I would be so rich. I’m not. So obviously nobody’s giving me dollars for that, but it makes like, whoo, it makes a huge difference. And what’s cool about this is that like, it sounds like a, a small ask if somebody says that to you, right? I’m like, Hey, can I talk this through with you for a second? I’m just, I’m just stuck on something. I don’t need you to solve it. I I just need to talk it out loud.Sara Whelan (32:08)Mm-hmm.Mike Legett (32:10)Now, if I were to say to most adults, how feasible would it be for you to just say that to somebody? There’s this pushback of like, no, no, no, I’m supposed to be able to solve it on my own. I can’t just always ask people. Guess what? It’s every bit as small when you ask as it is when somebody asks you. So taking the same approach of like, hey, talk it through with somebody, somebody who can co-regulate and somebody who will not keep on shame and judgment, right?Kristen Stuppy (32:23)IfMike Legett (32:40)And that lets your body and your brain have a very different conversation because now you’re co-regulating with somebody. Now you have social connectedness, right? Versus when you’re talking to yourself and your self-talk inside your head is agitated and emotional and mean, probably. It’s either mean or it’s panicked and it’s running away, right? Why can’t I just do this?Sara Whelan (33:03)Mm-hmm.Mike Legett (33:03)Has anything ever been solved? Why can’t I just do this? ⁓ right. And yet we try, we try so hard. That’s such a hard pattern to train out, but it is, it absolutely is. know, neuroplasticity is a really cool, fancy sounding word that means your brain changes. The more you think something, the more easy it is to think that the more you do something, the more easy it is to do it. Brains do change. You’re not like stuck. they just, does take practice. And one of the easiest ways to manageSara Whelan (33:18)Mm-hmm.Kristen Stuppy (33:26)ThankMike Legett (33:31)how you’re thinking there’s something is to do it out loud with somebody.Kristen Stuppy (33:34)Yeah.Sara Whelan (33:35)Hmm. So important. Yep. And I think adults need that. So yeah, needMike Legett (33:40)We do, we do.Sara Whelan (33:43)it. And they need permission to be able to do it, to give themselves permission.Mike Legett (33:48)Mm-hmm.Sara Whelan (33:49)We’re going to be diving much deeper into this topic during our ADHD KC parent group event. It’s Tuesday, May 12 at 630 p.m.What are you most excited to share with families during your presentation on May 12th?Mike Legett (34:07)Yeah. So I, you today I tried to go easy on the heavy science stuff because like, I feel like it makes sense to sort of scaffold things up. Um, but I do, I do really like doing that. And so I’m, I’m excited to hopefully see people go from like, I don’t know what that big scary word means to, oh yeah, that makes total sense. I get it. It’s just, and then some bizarro metaphor. Right? Like that’s.Sara Whelan (34:34)ThankMike Legett (34:35)Ilove to see that. So I really do look forward to diving into different parts of the brain and how brains work and things like that. And again, with the goal of bridging the gap so that people can look towards better, higher quality information sources and also building that compassion and that awareness.Kristen Stuppy (34:56)Yeah, if there was one thing that you want parents to walk away from, that main talk that you’re going to be giving, what would that one thing be?Mike Legett (35:05)Ooh, everything. That’s the point. I’m kidding. I think it would be like understanding that what’s hard is hard and it’s hard for a reason. And that like, if we go from there, that’s a way better starting place. You know, what’s hard is hard because brains.Kristen Stuppy (35:10)Thank you.Sara Whelan (35:28)Yeah. And who would you say this talk is especially helpful for?Kristen Stuppy (35:28)Just kidding.Mike Legett (35:35)people who have brains, people who love brains, people who live with brains. Yeah, I do think that particularly people who are scared of science or feel like they don’t have enough foundation to listen to sources that are going to be a little sciency, there’s such great information out there. But there is sometimes a gap in the learning. And it can feel like,Sara Whelan (35:38)Right?Mike Legett (36:00)Well, if I’m going to hear about all these things and I don’t know what a neurotransmitter is or what it does, or I don’t know like how, you know, I don’t know what the corpus callosum is. Like how would I even start? Right. You don’t have to go get a degree in neuroscience to like read about ADHD. You know, um, the idea is that like, this is a bunch of the stuff that would help you learn that thing so that you can jump right in.Sara Whelan (36:29)making it accessible, building curiosity, which makes it approachable. Yeah. ⁓ which is even better. Must be.Mike Legett (36:31)Yeah. Yeah. I’m silly. There will be silliness. No, I know, right? I’m very serious,Kristen Stuppy (36:38)Don’t say that at all from you.Mike Legett (36:43)calm, stoic, beige. I like lots of beige in my life.Sara Whelan (36:47)YouKristen Stuppy (36:49)So actually, before we wrap up, let’s do something fun to just kind of get listeners to get to know you a little bit better. So rapid fire, quick answers. Let’s see what you got. All right. Current nerdy interest.Mike Legett (36:57)See you around.I’m remodeling my bathroom. That doesn’t sound nerdy, except that you should see my spreadsheet.My spreadsheet is a thing of beauty for this project.Kristen Stuppy (37:17)Love it. Favorite way to recharge.Mike Legett (37:21)Ever heard the phrase, those who work with their minds relax with their hands? So I love that phrase first off. Second off, that bathroom remodel right now, my recharge is working with my hands by literally jackhammering the floor of that bathroom.Kristen Stuppy (37:25)I’ve not.Sara Whelan (37:26)No.Kristen Stuppy (37:37)More skills come out during this talk.Sara Whelan (37:38)Yes.DIY, right?Mike Legett (37:40)Hahaha!Kristen Stuppy (37:42)⁓ a tool orstrategy you use personally.Mike Legett (37:47)Guys, I have stopped losing my phone. It’s just a simple, stupid little like plastic card thing and the little like tag piece comes out the bottom. My phone, I just put it on and now I can’t drop it. And if I don’t have pockets, it’s fine. And if my pockets are stupid and if phone falls out of my pockets, it just hangs. And if I set it down and put something on top of it, which used to be a common occurrence, it has a tail.Kristen Stuppy (37:50)Cool.Mike Legett (38:16)You know what? I haven’t lost my phone in months, you guys. Months. Life changing. That’s my tool.Kristen Stuppy (38:21)It’samazing how little things are so life changing. I love it.Mike Legett (38:24)Huge.Yeah.Sara Whelan (38:24)mean,the phone is a.Kristen Stuppy (38:26)⁓Last question, something small that brings you joy during the day.Mike Legett (38:31)Honestly, my super colorful office. Look at that color. Look at it.Kristen Stuppy (38:36)I do love that.Sara Whelan (38:37)I love it.Kristen Stuppy (38:40)is amazing. Well, thank you so much, Mike, for joining us today and bringing clarity and compassion, Have fun. Yeah. ⁓Mike Legett (38:48)It has been an absolute delight. Thank you. Thank you soSara Whelan (38:51)us.Mike Legett (38:51)much for having me. This has been really fun.Kristen Stuppy (38:53)Yeah, and I know our listeners are going to walk away with a whole new perspective on nerdy science after they listen to you talk for an hour. ⁓Sara Whelan (38:54)Yes.Yes.And we’ll want to hear more even after that. I do. I know. Yes, everyone will. And for everyone listening, if today’s conversation resonated with you, we would love for you to join us at the ADHD KC parent group online event on Tuesday, May 12th, 6 30 p.m. Central. Mike’s going to present to do or not to do decision neuroscience and ADHD.Kristen Stuppy (39:29)And you can find all the registration information, our show notes on our ADHDKC events page, whether your child has ADHD, you have ADHD or both. You can always walk away with practical insight and a lot more compassion for how our brains actually work.Sara Whelan (39:45)And if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone else who could use it. And don’t forget to follow ADHDKC conversations wherever you listen to podcasts or watch videos.Kristen Stuppy (39:56)for being part of our community. We’re so glad you’re here.Sara Whelan (39:58)We’ll see you nexttime This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

Parenting is hard. Parenting neurodivergent kids can feel even harder.If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, stretched thin, or like you’re constantly juggling too many responsibilities — you’re in good company.This month’s ADHDKC Parent Group talk took place both at the J and online. It was our first hybrid meeting in quite a while, and of course the classic tech gremlins made an appearance. The projector wouldn’t share anything but a full screen, the camera refused to cooperate… you know how it goes. Thankfully, Dr. Stuppy had recorded a full run‑through earlier in the day, so we’re able to share a clean, uninterrupted version with you.The session dives into something many parents experience but rarely name out loud: parental stress and caregiver wellbeing.In this talk, pediatrician Dr. Kristen Stuppy unpacks why parenting today feels so heavy, how chronic stress affects our bodies and minds, and — most importantly — practical ways to lighten the load without adding more pressure to your life.You’ll learn:* Why parents today report higher stress levels than other adults* How chronic stress affects sleep, focus, digestion, and emotional regulation* What’s actually happening in your brain and nervous system during stress* Simple, realistic strategies to support your mental and physical health* Why progress, not perfection, is the goalThis conversation blends science, lived experience, and compassionate strategies that parents can actually use in real life.Feeling overwhelmed does not mean you’re failing as a parent.It means you’re carrying a lot.Small changes: better sleep habits, realistic boundaries, movement, connection with others — can gradually help your nervous system reset and make daily life feel more manageable.You don’t have to fix everything at once. One small step forward is enough.Watch or Listen — Your ChoiceThe full video recording is available now on our YouTube channel and is embedded in this week’s Substack post.If you’d rather listen on the go, the audio version is also available on your favorite podcast player, making it easy to learn while commuting, walking, or doing chores. We’ve added ADHD KC Conversations to Apple podcast and Overcast.Resources from the talkAAP Family Media PlanMayo Clinic’s CBT-IMind Tricks (mindfulness)Quest for Health KC - Dr Stuppy’s SubstackSurgeon General’s AdvisoryAnd if you know another parent who could use a reminder that they’re not alone in this, please share this talk with them.Chapters00:00 — Introduction to Parental Stress and Wellbeing05:32 — Understanding the Prevalence of Parental Stress10:12 — The Impact of Chronic Stress on Health22:05 — Recognizing Stress as a Signal for Self-Care23:19 — Practical Strategies for Managing Stress37:13 — Embracing Progress and Community SupportTranscriptAuto-generated. Excuse the errors.Welcome to Parents Under Pressure, strengthening your mental health and wellbeing as a caregiver. Tonight, we’re talking about things most of us know, but don’t always recognize the full impact of, and that awareness can help us make more meaningful choices. Before we dive in, take a moment, close your eyes if you’d like, and just notice your body. Are your shoulders tight? Is your jaw clenched?Is your mind already running through a million things you need to do tonight after this talk? And if so, you’re in the right place. Many of you are carrying a lot, not just because you’re doing anything wrong, but because what you’re navigating is genuinely hard. If you feel tired, overwhelmed, or stretched thin, nothing is wrong with you. You’re not failing. You’re just responding to a role in a world that has a lot of us. And tonight isn’t about you trying harder.It’s about understanding why parenting can feel so heavy and what actually helps lighten the load. And by the end of tonight, you’ll learn the prevalence of parental stress, understanding the impact of stress on physical health. And this part’s a little heavy, but stick with me because you’ll leave with at least one way to better manage your stress.And not to add to your pressure because I know this is a very busy slide, but since I’m talking as a representative for CHADD this is a summary of the participation agreement that CHADD requires for each event. You can read the whole thing from ADHDKC’s home page if you’re curious. This is just the main points and I’ve highlighted the most important parts for this group. In a nutshell, be kind to others. What’s said here stays here.unless it’s information coming from me, which then you can certainly share, but if it’s a personal story or comment from some other participant, please don’t share. And then I do plan to share the recording. In fact, this is a pre-recording. And if you need any accommodations, let me know, which is a little late for the recording. And none of this is medical advice specific to you.please talk to your own doctor or therapist for advice. And a little bit about me, I’m Kristen Steppe. I’m a pediatrician who works closely with families navigating ADHD and other neurodiversities, both in clinic and at home. I was diagnosed with ADHD myself within the past year and share my story in letters to my younger self from Find the ADHD Girls,an organization focused on earlier diagnosis for girls because the delay worsens outcomes. I’m here tonight representing ADHDKC, our local CHADD chapter. I first got involved with ADHDKC in 2012 and the parent events that I attended helped me to learn better how to manage the chaos in my own home. And during the pandemic, I began leading the ADHDKC teen group online, which I still do and wouldbe happy to have any of your middle school or high schoolers join me. Those are very differently organized events, very interactive to keep the teens engaged because they cannot do a lecture format like this.I now also teach kids and parents through the Teach Me ADHD program initiated by Dr. Nerissa Bauer, a behavioral pediatrician in the Indianapolis, Indiana area. And then I also write about ADHD and related conditions on my stub stack. It’s always free, so feel free to follow me at Quest for Health KC.I also know firsthand what it’s like to feel the pressure of holding everything together. Like many women who were diagnosed with ADHD later in life, I stayed constantly busy because it kept me going. That was a good thing because it got me through medical school and residency and raising children and everything, but it also comes with a price. What we’ll talk about tonight comes from both the clinical science and real life, because those two are not able to be separated.And before we go any further, I want to set a few expectations for our time together. This is not a space for perfection. I will not be perfect for sure. And you do not need to fix your whole life tonight. We’re all a work in progress. And so I love this passage from Braden Young, spoken from the point of view of a parent with ADHD. For neurotypical folks, there’s usually a buffer between I’m frustrated and I’m acting on frustration. For us,that buffer is often non-existent or incredibly short. We’re impulsive with our emotions, just like we’re impulsive with everything else. Add in the stress of parenting, which is already emotionally demanding, sleep deprivation, sensory overload from a chaotic household, and the constant executive function demands. And it’s no wonder we sometimes lose it over a missing shirt. And if you’re parenting neurodivergent kids, which many of us are, given the genetic component of ADHD, you’re dealing withtheir emotional dysregulation on top of your own. It’s like two emotional tornadoes colliding and someone has to be the calm in that storm except you’re also a tornado. So how does that work? I’m sharing this because it’s important to acknowledge that those of you who have neurodivergence in the home, stress leads to even more dysfunction. So a lot of us feel like we’re living in a tornado.My hope is that you walk away with one or two insights that help you understand yourself with more compassion and maybe one small thing you can try that makes next week feel a little lighter. And throughout tonight, I invite you to check in with yourself. Notice what resonates. Notice what doesn’t. Take what’s helpful and leave the rest. And before we go any further, I am curious. Just a show of hands or if you’re online, emojis, how many of you would say you feel stressed?most days of the week.You’re not alone. For those of you who raised your hands, you are definitely in good company. In August of 2024, Vivek Murthy, the Surgeon General of the time, felt this was an important enough problem that he released an advisory on the mental health and wellbeing of parents. And tonight is about understanding why that is and what can be realistically done about it. Now, parenting has always been stressful, but right now it’s especially hard.Recent data shows that parents consistently report higher stress levels than other adults. So if you’re comfortable, raise your hand if you ever felt like you have too much on your plate.Who feels like everyone else seems to be have things together better than you?It’s not surprising. A lot of us tend to hide it well and so do others. So it’s not recognized and stress shows up differently at every stage of parenting. In the early years, it’s sleep deprivation and adjusting to new roles. As kids grow, the challenges shift, managing their emotions, school pressure, social dynamics, and constant decision making. And by adolescence, parents are juggling with the increasing independence of their children, risk-taking behaviors, and they worry about their kids’ well-being.all while managing work and daily life. The mental load is really heavy. So keeping track of schedules, needs, emotions, responsibility, both of yourself and of your children, and maybe your whole family, it takes a real cognitive energy. And over time, that constant demand can affect our focus, memory, and overall well-being. And the data backs this up. 33 % of parents reported high levels of stress compared to 20 % of other adults.and nearly half of parents said that they were overwhelmed most days of the week. So for those of you who might be feeling this way, you’re definitely not alone. I want you to take a moment and reflect. What’s one word that describes how parenting has felt for you this week? Just think it in your head. You can zero it in on one word.is naming feelings is the first step towards control. Name it to tame it. Helps to manage overwhelm, improves emotional regulation, and create space between feeling and emotion and reacting to it. The important thing to remember is this, you’re not alone in feeling this way. And while this level of stress is common, it doesn’t mean you have to carry it without support. It’s important not to carry guilt or the feeling that you should be doing something better.When these thoughts show up, notice them. Their normal response to pressure, not a personal failure. So parents today face stressors that previous generations didn’t. The isolation, loneliness, social media, constant achievement pressure. And you’re not less capable. The expectations just keep stacking up. So you’re not alone. National data.shows this affects many families. And mental health challenges also hit some parents harder. Experiences like community violence, poverty, racism, discrimination, health issues, and family structure all shape how stress shows up. And we all respond differently. That’s part of being human. As parents, we wear many hats. Each role comes with its own set of challenges. As you know, juggling these roles can lead to stress and burnout.There are not enough hours in the day, so parents make time by taking away personal time they need for self-cares. Societal expectations and the comparison culture, especially with social media, can intensify these pressures. We all see people every day doing all these things, and it looks so seamless when they’re doing it. So why can’t we do them? Who has ever felt like you’re the only one not keeping up?So we hold ourselves to the pressure to do it all. What we forget is what we see about others is the face they’re putting on. You don’t see that behind the scenes look. And if you did, you’d see that they are often struggling just as much as you are. It’s common to feel stressed sometimes. We all have some form of stress in our daily life, whether it’s sitting in traffic, trying to find lost shoes, trying to find a sitter when yours suddenly cancels on you, or rushing to meet a deadline at work.And as frustrating as all these moments can be, they typically pass quickly and you can move on with your day. And before we talk about what to do about stress, it helps to understand what’s actually happening inside of our bodies when we feel overwhelmed. When we understand the why, it often is easier to be kinder to ourselves and to make changes that actually help.The stress response kicks in when your body shifts into fight, flight, or freeze mode. That’s your brain’s way of protecting you from anything it reads as a threat. Today’s stressors aren’t usually things that we can run away from or physically fight, but our bodies still react as if they are. That means the same system meant to keep us safe can sometimes work against us. And when stress is constant, your body stays on high alert. That ongoing activation, which chronic stress,can wear you down both physically and emotionally ⁓ So your health is impacted over time. And understanding what’s happening underneath the surface really matters. Much of what we feel today isn’t a personal flaw. It’s our nervous system doing exactly what it was built to do. And I’m going to explain the brain in a way that I do with kids ⁓ through the animals that live there. This is actuallytopic of next month’s talk for the ADHDKC Teen Group. So if you feel like you have middle or high school students that could learn about this, I encourage you guys to join me in April. But I talk about the wise old owl. It lives in the frontal lobe, the part of our brain that helps us think, plan, and solve problems. The limbic system has its own animals too. The barking dog represents the amygdala. And that’s the part that scans for danger and wants to keep us safe.But like a real dog, sometimes it barks at things that aren’t actual threats. Just like when the Amazon delivery guy comes to the door, the dog starts barking like you’re in danger. And when the dog barks, unfortunately, it scares away that wise old owl and the elephant. That’s our memory system. So that’s why when emotions are really strong, you can’t think clearly or remember things. When you said things like, can’t think straight, that’s because your owl was chased away.And in real life, it’s not a literal dog. It’s the sympathetic nervous system kicking in and that system triggers the fight or flight, shifting blood away from the thinking parts of your brain towards a quick reaction survival system. Your heart races, your muscles tense, your breathing speeds up, which is great when you’re in physical danger and you need to run away or fight, but it’s not great for everyday stress. And with less blood reaching that frontal lobe, you cannot plan, you cannot organize, you cannot problem solve.all of those things become really difficult. Your brain is prioritizing survival, not reflection. So that moment where your clear thinking disappears, isn’t you losing it, it’s your body doing exactly what it was designed to do, even if it’s not helpful in the moment.The autonomic nervous system has two main parts, the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. When you’re under stress, the sympathetic nervous system activates the body’s fight, flight or freeze response. Once the stress passes, the parasympathetic nervous system, the rest and digest system steps in to keep your body, ⁓ help it calm down and recover.When stress becomes chronic, our fight and flight system can stay activated for too long. This constant state of alertness is exhausting for the body and the brain, and it can lead to headaches, difficulty concentrating, and feeling mentally scattered. Worrying thoughts take up mental space, making it harder to focus, increasing the risk of mistakes or accidents, and interfering with sleep. Who here has ever struggled to sleep because your brain just won’t shut off?How about how many of you have woken in the middle of the night, like 1 a.m., when you’re stressed about something? Yep, I have done both of these things, and it’s not healthy. Over time, poor sleep further weakens your ability to regulate emotions, manage stress, and other things, which we will be talking about as we go through the body systems. But what this means in real life is that when you feel snappy, exhausted, or foggy,you’re prone to making mistakes and it’s not a personal failure. It’s your body doing exactly what it was designed to do under chronic stress. So when people say it’s all in your head, it’s not actually true. Stress shows up in very real physical ways throughout your body. Let’s talk about how your body carries stress and why it can show up as a stomach issue, headaches, constant exhaustion. So when your body is under stress, your muscles automatically tense to prepare for that fight or flight.And in short bursts, that tension fades once the stress passes. But with ongoing stress, these muscles can stay tight all the time, which can lead to chronic pain and discomfort. And persistent tension in the neck, shoulders, and head is a major driver of tension headaches and migraines. Stress can also show up as pain in the back, shoulders, and arms. And when you’re stressed, your body becomes more sensitive overall. So every pain that you feel feels sharper and harder to ignore. It turns up that volume.So many people notice tight shoulders, jaw clenching, or headaches when they’re overwhelmed, and that’s your body responding the way it was designed to, just not in a way that helps you deal with everyday stress. And the respiratory system supplies oxygen and removes carbon dioxide from the body. So stress and strong emotions can cause respiratory symptoms, such as shortness of breath and rapid breathing, as the airway between the nose and the lungs constrict.So the airway gets narrower. And studies show that acute stress can actually trigger asthma attacks in people with asthma or rapid breathing or hyperventilation caused by stress can bring on a panic attack in someone prone to panic attacks. And if you think about it, this is known well enough that it shows up in books and movies. So Goonies, 1985. Mickey is asthmatic and frequently uses his inhaler when nervous or scared.And then more recently in Inside Out 2, Riley has a panic attack during a high stakes hockey game, illustrating her new emotion anxiety as it takes over the control panel in her mind. So these are things we know, right? It’s not new information.When something sudden happens, like watching your child fall at the playground or getting cut off in traffic and slamming on the brakes to avoid an accident, your body reacts instantly. Your heart rate increases, your heart pumps harder, and those stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol surge through your system. This is your body’s way of preparing you to act quickly and stay safe. You guys all felt your heart pounding in moments like that?Most of us have, right? And that response is completely normal and actually protective. You may feel like you’re having a heart attack, but you’re not. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it’s designed to do. When you’re stressed, the blood vessels that supply your heart and large muscles widen so more blood can rush to the places needed for quick action. Once the danger passes, the body is designed to settle back down. That made perfect sense back in the caveman days when you needed to run from danger.to stay alive, right? And the people who did that well, the people who responded to that fight, flight or freeze response survived longer so they could procreate more. So that is actually a trait that has been passed down for generations. And it’s still helpful in true emergencies like protecting a child or stopping in traffic, but it’s not so helpful when you’re just nervous before a presentation and it becomes a problem when the stress response doesn’t turn off.So with chronic stress, the heart rate and blood pressure can stay elevated for long stretches. And over time, that constant strain raises the risk for high blood pressure, heart disease, and even stroke. Stress doesn’t affect everyone the same way. For women, hormones matter. So before menopause, estrogen helps protect the blood vessels and supports recovery from stress. After menopause, that protection decreases so stress can have a bigger impact on heart health. It’s almost like it’s preparing us to be moms and having more stress, right?⁓ So stress can also contribute to poor health behaviors linked to increased risk for heart disease, stroke, such as overeating and eating unhealthy foods. If you’re running late, you just stopped at the drive-through on your way somewhere. Or if you’re not getting enough physical activity, because it’s hard to make time for exercise when you have too much to do. And of course, sleep is impacted. Sleep is one of the most undervalued things to our health.and self-medicating with drugs or alcohol to feel better, as well as forgetting to take prescribed medications as recommended, both are increasing our risk when we are stressed. So the risk of substance use disorder is very significant. And all of these can increase the risk of obesity, which in turn increases the risk of heart attacks, strokes, high blood pressure, as well as diabetes and other health risks.Social media talks a lot about that mind-gut connection while trying to sell you something usually. The connection itself is real. Just don’t buy all this stuff to try to help your mind-gut connection. Gut bacteria help produce key neurotransmitters, including dopamine, which affects motivation, drive, and reward, serotonin, which affects mood stability and emotional balance, and GABA, the calming kind of break that reduces stress.and chronic stress kills off the microbes that make these chemicals, which can affect mood, focus, and emotional regulation. Now, the gut has hundreds of millions of neurons and communicates constantly with the brain. That’s why we feel butterflies when we’re nervous or why stress can trigger pain, bloating, discomfort. Stress also changes eating patterns. Some people eat more, some people eat less, and a lot of times they eat less healthy food, the foods they crave, which aren’t necessarily broccoli. ⁓And this can lead to heartburn, reflux, digestive upset. And it even affects how we swallow, increasing air intake, which causes more bloating and gas. And stress can slow gut motility, which increases stomach acid and disrupts that gut-brain axis, which can cause nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, or just general stomach upset. It also heightens sensitivity, so that discomfort feels more intense. It turns up that volume again.So the gut’s protective barrier can weaken under chronic stress, allowing more bacteria to cross into the body. And the immune system actually handles this. But on-growing kind of chronic low-grade inflammation can worsen conditions like inflammatory bowel syndrome, reflux, ulcers, other things. Now in stressful situations, your adrenal glands, which sit right on top of your kidneys, produce more cortisol.And over time, this can cause fatigue, depression, or issues with your immune system. And related to our endocrine system is our reproductive system. Low libido is a common side effect of chronic stress. Males may experience erectile dysfunction or impotence. In some cases, chronic stress can affect sperm production. And females may experience changes in their menstrual cycles or have troubles conceiving.Chronic stress impacts your ability to fight off infection. A lot of people recognize when they are under a lot of stress, they have a lot to do, they’re more likely to get sick. And that’s not just your personal impression of it. Continuous exposure to cortisol suppresses immune function. And this results in an increase in infections and may impact the body’s ability to fight off cancers.So I want to pause here for a minute. If you’re listening to all of this and thinking, no wonder I’m tired, no wonder I have headaches, gut symptoms, I get sick so often, or whatever it is your body feels from stress, you’re exactly right. Your body’s been working over time. And that was a lot to take in. It probably raised your anxiety a little bit thinking about it all. ⁓ So if you’re overwhelmed right now, that totally makes sense. Talking about stress can bring it closer to the surface before it gets better, and that’s okay. If this is resonating, you’re definitely not alone.And if you remember nothing else, remember that your body is trying to protect you. Even when it feels like it’s betraying you. It’s doing what it’s supposed to do.The good news is this, stress doesn’t have to be the enemy. While it can absolutely take a toll on our bodies and our minds, it can also be a signal, an invitation to pause, adjust and care for ourselves differently. You’ll hear a lot of messages out there promising those quick fixes or miracle solutions. And the truth is the most effective tools are usually much simpler and much more doable than they’re made out to be.I’m not gonna sell you anything tonight, other than maybe some ideas, there’s a free. ⁓ They don’t require perfection or a total life overhaul. They start with self care, not the Instagram version, but the kind that helps your nervous system settle and your body recover. And often the moments where you feel the most overwhelmed are actually the moments when care matters the most.We’ll focus on ⁓ some realistic, compassionate ways to support yourself, things that fit into your real life, ⁓ not add more to your plate. So instead of asking, what’s wrong with me? A more helpful question might be, what does my body need right now? And that’s where we’re gonna start shifting from pushing through to actually supporting ourselves.The first thing you guys can do is start with setting limits. Who here has struggled with saying no? I know I have. And that can be problematic. You can’t do your best if you’re stretched too thin. List out all the projects, the commitments at home, at work, with your kids, that make you feel overwhelmed. Identify the tasks that you feel you absolutely must do in order to survive, to help your family, to help yourself.to continue at work. And then try to see what you can cut back on, the things that are not essential. Learn to say no without guilt. No one can do itYou can ask for assistance in getting work done if you have a lot of volunteer things that you’re working on. Maybe ask for help with those. Refrain from accepting any more commitments until you feel your stress is under control.Setting limits on non-essential obligations is important to your health. So stop feeling guilty when you say no to putting more on your plate. Every choice we make takes up brain energy. So limit your day to choices with routines. If you always wear the same outfit on Monday, have the same breakfast on Monday, and do the same routine every morning, Monday’s emotional load, mental capacity load,is already lessened because you don’t have to make those little choices that you would have to do otherwise. Just set it on a routine. If you automate your day, it is so much easier.And then exercise regularly. I know you guys all know this, right? But exercise can relieve stress, tension, anxiety, depression. You should find activities that are realistic for busy parents. Like play with your kids instead of watching them play. Go to the park and run around with them. Or at least at work, get up and walk around once an hour. Do some chair squats as you work through emails or lift some light weights as you listen in on a Zoom call.make a commitment to only watch TV if you’re on a stationary bike, a rowing machine, or a treadmill. I actually do not like to exercise, so I either pay for a group class because then I’ve invested some money in it and it has a time on my calendar that helps me do it. ⁓ Or I get into a TV series, something I can watch on Netflix or YouTube or whatever, and I row. I have a rowing machine and I make a commitment to myself that I cannot watch that show unless I’m rowing.It works. So if you need motivation, find what works for you. Maybe ask a friend to join you on a walk or some other activity.Regular moderate to vigorous activity, which is 30 to 60 minutes three times a week enhances gut motility strengthens your intestinal barrier and Reduces harmful inflammation. Exercise even helps the gut microbiome along with your diet.All right, we all want our kids to eat well, speaking of diets, but it’s really hard when we’re juggling work, school, and activities. Think about small ways that you can make nutrition easier. A meal prep session, either on your own or with friends, because community is also really important for stress management. So get together and meal prep. Stock your freezer for the week, save time and money, and lower daily stress. You can also prep fruits and veggies in grab-and-go containers, and that helps everyone make healthier choices.I know when my kids were younger, if I had strawberries, which they loved and they were like the perfect ripeness that they liked and everything was good, they would not eat it if they had to rinse it and cut the little green tip off. Right? Like make it easier for them. Rinse them, cut them up, put them in little self-serve containers. Then they would grab them and eat them. Carry a water bottle and aim to finish it each day. Try to limit caffeine.more than 400 milligrams a day, which is about four to five cups of coffee or two energy drinks can increase anxiety and make stress feel worse. So try to cut back on that.And then remember that our gut bacteria make those neurotransmitters, right?In addition to exercise to support our gut microbiome, one simple hack would be to add one fermented food per day. This provides probiotics for your dopamine factory. And fermented foods seed your gut with bacteria that influence neurotransmitter production and inflammation.These fermented foods might include things like yogurt, sauerkraut, kimchi, certain pickles. You have to lick some of them or just in vinegar, but they have to have the live cultures in them. Anything that is fermented can help your gut, but you also need to feed the bacteria with fiber or they die. So that’s where oats, beans, lentils, berries, bananas, nuts and seeds all come in.One neurotransmitter I want to spend a little bit more time on is dopamine. This is the brain’s reward chemical, driving motivation, pleasure, movement, memory, and attention. It regulates focus, learning, and motor function. So protein is that neurotransmitter fuel. Meat, eggs, fish, poultry, legumes, nuts. We all know what protein is, right? But this provides the building blocks, the tyrosine, the phenylalanine.needed to make dopamine for motivation, drive, and cognitive energy. And if ADHD lives in your home, people with ADHD are well known to have lesser dopamine. So eating protein is one way to elevate the dopamine. Exercise also helps. Doing favorite activities helps. There’s lots of ways to elevate it, but protein is something that everyone needs, especially people living with ADHD. Low protein can lead to brain fog, low motivation, emotional flatness.All right, as sleep is necessary, so the brain can grow, reorganize, restructure, make neural connections, and so much more. In the interest of time, I’m not goingto go through all the things that happens when you sleep. We could spend a full hour on that, but the main benefits are on this slide. And this lack of talking about it somehow parallels how we treat sleep in general. It gets dismissed when other things come up.Too many of us stay up too late or get up too early to do other things, but sleep should be a priority. It’s not time wasted. Adults need generally seven to nine hours of sleep. And how many of you guys actually got that last night?So good sleep matters and a few habits can help make it easier. Try to limit stimulants like caffeine and nicotine and sometimes ADHD medications ⁓ later in the day, unless your prescriber advises otherwise. Even caffeine feels calming. like, especially for people with ADHD where their mind is going crazy, the caffeine and other stimulants help to calm the mind. So some people do say they fall asleep faster, but it still reduces deep restorative sleep.and it stays in the body for five to six hours. So an afternoon cup of tea or coffee can still affect your night. If you’re exhausted, a short nap, about 15 to 20 minutes can be more helpful than pushing through with caffeine. There is a thought of a caffeine nap where you drink a cup of black coffee and it is specific black coffee, not any of the sugar sweetenedother drinks because the sugar then interferes. But if you drink black coffee then lay down and nap for 15 to 20 minutes the caffeine starts to increase as you wake up so then you can be more alert after the nap from sleep and the benefit of the caffeine. But again you need to be careful not to do this too close to bedtime. And nicotine including vaping and chewing as well as smoking also disruptsAlcohol may help you fall asleep faster, but it tends to fragment the sleep later in the night, which increases your awakenings and can worsen snoring or sleep apnea, which is harmful to restful sleep. It’s also a diuretic, which means you’re gonna have to get up and pee more often. So nobody sleeps well with those things. And if cutting back on caffeine, nicotine, or alcohol is difficult, that’s not a personal failure. These things are hard to quit. They’re habit-forming and getting some support can make a real difference. So talk with your doctor.And of course, screens make it harder for adults, just like they do for our kids. The light from the devices suppresses melatonin, and the content that you’re scrolling, the news that you’re watching, the social media that you’re checking, all those endless feeds, they keep the brain stimulated instead of winding down. So when we don’t get enough sleep, the body becomes less responsive to melatonin, which also creates this cycle of ongoing sleep trouble.Social media can also increase anxiety and lower self-esteem by showing those filtered versions. Everybody else’s perfect life out there. Then you compare yourself and you feel like a failure. So this adds pressure and self-criticism and not helpful. We remind our kids of this stuff all the time, but it applies to adults as well. So being mindful of screen use isn’t about restriction. It’s about protecting your rest and well-being.The AAP’s Family Media Plan, which is posted here in the image, is a helpful tool for those of you who want to help set family boundaries. It’s easy to find online. If you search AAP Family Media Plan, you can find it.So consistency helps your brain recognize when it’s time to wind down. Going to bed at a similar time each night and having a simple calming routine signals safety and that helps your nervous system shift into a rest mode. Gentle stretching, mindfulness, journaling, or a quick brain dump, just writing it all out can help quiet that racing mind.Limiting screens before bed matters. This is one of the best things that anyone can do to help get to sleep better. ⁓ Turning devices off an hour or two before bedtime can be very helpful.Melatonin supplements can help some people, but they aren’t regulated like medications and aren’t a substitute for healthy sleep habits that help your brain wind down more naturally. In daytime movement, morning light and a cool, dark, quiet bedroom all help support better sleep. Pets in the bed can be disruptive, especially for light sleepers. And then keep your phones out.I do want you to get your phones out now. We’re not sleeping. And I want you to ⁓ click on this QR code if you are struggling with sleep. This is a program that you can follow for free from the Mayo Clinic and it has CBT for insomnia.It takes several weeks to go through the program, but it’s free and you can do it at home. And if this is not sufficient for you, then work with your doctor or a therapist because there is a specific cognitive behavioral tool to help with insomnia because it is that important. All right. And then mindfulness and meditation have been around for centuries and most religions have some sort of form of mindfulness practice, but it’s not inherently a religious act. Fads don’t persist like this. ⁓It has been around for so long, but in recent years, scientists have actually been able to study the brain and find amazing things like increased brain matter in the areas of the brain that problem solve and decreased in areas of the brain that worry. We spent an hour talking about this for a past ADHDKC event and invite you to watch the recording sometime. The QR code will get you there or you can find it from the homepage of ADHDKC.org with the past events.All right, and then I want you to spend time on yourself. Practice positive thinking by replacing recurring negative thoughts. We bully ourselves, telling ourselves the same negative story over and over and over again, and then we believe it because it’s spoken really loud. If you can change that to a positive affirmation or rework the negative thought to something more positive and say that over and over and over again, you will start to believe the positive thinking.A gratitude journal can help your brain focus on what’s going well in your life. So when you feel overwhelmed and exhausted and think nothing is going right, you can look through your journal and see, yeah, that was a good thing. I do appreciate that. And mindfulness can help ground you when things feel overwhelming. Also staying connected with friends and family, talking with the people you trust, all of that matters. Find hobbies that keep you engaged so you’re not stuck in the worried loops. You’re enjoying something that you enjoy.And if you’re struggling, ask for help. Let others feel good by supporting you, just like you feel good when you support them. And asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. And even something like a carpool can help free up hours in your day to help lighten your load. To help others when you can, all adds up, because helping others feels good. ⁓So if you’re still struggling, reach out to a physician or a therapist. I know access isn’t always easy, and that’s part of why I started doing these ADHD KC talks and all of my other stuff with my blog and everything, because I want to support everyone and I want to make it more reachable for families. Now figuring out how stress affects your body is an important step in dealing with it. Identify sources of stress in your life and look for ways to reduce or manage them.As we wrap up, I want to remind you of something important. Nothing you heard tonight means you’re doing anything wrong. If anything, it helps explain why things can feel so hard sometimes. And that makes sense. Parenting neurodivergent kids is hard work. Feeling overwhelmed does not make you a failure. It means you’re maxed out and burnout is real. Not everyone will understand. You don’t need more willpower. You need more support and rest.So cut back on commitments and say no without apologizing. Lower your expectations of how you think things should be. And don’t forget to celebrate the small wins. Try to check in with yourself every day. How are you doing? What do you need? What can you do to make your day easier? And you don’t need to fix everything at once. You don’t need a perfect routine or a perfect plan. Even small moments of awareness, rest, or self-compassion can make real differences over time.Progress is quiet and gradual, and that’s okay. And as you leave tonight, I hope you can carry one simple message with you. Your body and mind are doing their best. With a little understanding and support, you can find more balance. And I have Post-It notes on the tables. Everyone take one and write one health-related commitment that you will work on this week. I put some of the tips shared here to consider.Do what’s possible to bolster your health so that you have the energy and the strength to tackle the challenges you are facing. One small step can have a positive effect. And taking positive steps for your health will help you manage your stress. So don’t try to do it all today. One step at a time makes a difference. You will get there with those one little steps. And sometimes there will be a backward step and that’s okay because you in general can still move forward.Making changes are hard. So bring in your community. Find people who support you, who can help you along the way.All right, I put the QR codes here again. The first is to encourage you to learn about mindfulness. And the second, kind of more pink one, is the link for CBT for insomnia. And I want to invite everyone to follow my Sub stack There’s a link from that Mind Tricks page ⁓ that the QR leads to, or it’s just drkristenstuppy.substack.com I write a lot about ADHD, anxiety, and related things. ⁓Thank you for showing up for yourself and for the people who you care about. I hope that you all leave feeling a little lighter and more informed and you find ways to be more kind to yourself.Use what you wrote down here to work on you this week. All right, what are your questions? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

We’re excited to share the newest episode of ADHDKC Conversations, featuring a powerful and eye-opening discussion with Dr. Matt Lindquist, who is triple board-certified in internal medicine, pediatrics, and obesity medicine, and founder of MoKan Weight Loss and Metabolic Health.This conversation gets to the heart of something many families experience—but rarely hear explained clearly:👉 Why are so many individuals with ADHD also struggling with weight, sleep, anxiety, or binge eating?👉 Why does it feel like “lazy” is the label people get when something deeper is happening?👉 And what does neuroscience actually tell us about these overlaps?🧠 What We Talk About in This EpisodeDr. Lindquist walks us through:* The shared neurobiology between ADHD and obesity* How dopamine and reward pathways influence eating behaviors* Why “response inhibition” and emotional regulation matter* The powerful role of genetics in both ADHD and obesity* How anxiety and sleep disorders intensify everything* Why medication is not a failure—but often an evidence-based necessityOne of the most important takeaways?Obesity, ADHD, anxiety, and binge eating are biologically driven conditions—not character flaws.There are real brain-based mechanisms behind food responsiveness, impulsivity, emotional eating, and sleep disruption. When we understand that, shame starts to lift—and effective treatment becomes possible.If you’ve ever wondered why you or your child feel constantly tired and hungry… or why evenings spiral into binge eating after a long day of holding it together… this episode connects the dots.🎧 Listen now on your favorite podcast platform and share it with someone who needs to hear this. For those who would rather read the transcript, see the bottom of this newsletter.Chapters00:00Introduction to ADHD and Obesity01:43Dr. Lindquist’s Journey in Medicine03:57Identifying Gaps in Obesity Care05:59Understanding Genetics in Obesity08:21The Connection Between ADHD and Obesity10:14Neurobiology of ADHD and Weight Management12:51The Role of Anxiety and Sleep Disorders15:37Personalized Treatment Approaches17:51Addressing Stigma in Obesity and ADHD19:42Final Thoughts and Future Conversations📅 Coming Up: ADHDKC Parent Talk (Free & Online)We’re also thrilled that Dr. Lindquist will be speaking live to the ADHDKC Parent Group!🗓 Tuesday, April 14⏰ 6:30 PM CST (Online)🎟 Free eventTitle: “Why You’re Tired and Hungry: How the ADHD Brain Impacts Weight, Sleep & Binge Eating”In this deeper dive, parents will learn:* Why ADHD increases risk for metabolic issues* How sleep disruption fuels appetite and inattention* The connection between anxiety, binge eating, and dopamine* What individualized, evidence-based treatment actually looks like* How to reduce stigma and increase hope for your familyThis is one of those topics that affects many families—but rarely gets discussed openly.You can RSVP at ADHDKC to get your Zoom link:💬 Why This MattersAs pediatricians and parent advocates, we see it all the time:* A child with ADHD who struggles with impulse control around food* A teen with metabolic syndrome and untreated anxiety* A parent who feels guilty and blames themselves* Families stuck in cycles of exhaustion and shameUnderstanding the biology changes everything.We hope you’ll:* 🎧 Listen to the episode* 📅 Register for the parent talk* 📣 Share with another parent who might need this perspectiveThe more we understand the brain, the better we can support our kids—and ourselves.See you on April 14. TranscriptKristen Stuppy (00:14)welcome back to ADHDKC Conversations. I’m Dr. Kristen Stuppy and I’m here with my co-host, Sara Whelan.Sara Whelan (00:22)Hi everyone, we’re so glad you’re joining us. Each month we sit down with experts, parents and individuals in the ADHD community to explore topics that make a big difference for our families in Kansas City and even beyond Kansas City.Kristen Stuppy (00:36)And today we’re thrilled to welcome Dr. Matt Lindquist.Dr. Lindquist is a triple board certified physician in internal medicine, pediatrics and obesity medicine, and is the founder of MoKan Weight Loss and Metabolic Health. He’s deeply passionate about teaching both patients and medical professionals about obesity as a disease and helping people find.individualized paths to better health and well-being.Sara Whelan (01:00)We’re especially excited to talk with Dr. Lindquist today because his work really sits at the intersection that isn’t discussed nearly enough. How ADHD, weight, sleep, anxiety, and eating behaviors can all really be connected at a neurobiological level.Kristen Stuppy (01:17)This conversation is a chance to get to know Dr. Lindquist, learn from his clinical experience, and start unpacking why these connections matter so much for individuals and families affected by ADHD. So with that, Dr. Lindquist, you’re triple board certified in internal medicine, pediatrics, and obesity medicine, which is a pretty unique combination. Can you walk us through your professional journey and what led you to focus your career on obesity and metabolic health?Dr. Matt Lindquist (01:42)Yeah, glad to. And first, you know, happy to be here. Appreciate you having me on the podcast and getting to, yeah, just getting to educate. love talking about this and getting, you know, reliable info out there to the public. So, yeah, I mean, I’m a true masochist, both in my training and day to day. So,you know, that fits and like most of us in medicine, I I love to learn and if I have like a vice, apparently that’s it. But yeah, I feel like I had, you know, kind of this slow burn into obesity. You know, I knew from a pretty early age, I mean, one of my best friends, I, you know, I wanted to be a physician earlier than I thought I wanted to be apparently.And then I remember seeing a couple of docs from small town North Dakota. And I remember during college coming back and seeing my eye doc and one of my friends’ dads who’s a family doc in town. I talked to them and one of them didn’t even want to retire because part of it was like that’s their social aspect of their life too.And that really clicked with me in that I really love developing those like longitudinal relationships. And with internal medicine and pediatrics, similar to family med, I get to know that whole family and really see multiple generations. So.where I was like, when I’d go into OR during surgery, I hated it. Like cut and run and no, patients are asleep, people love that and I wanted to see them out throughout their life. then, being, and this is kind of odd, I sometimes bring this up in clinic, but I was always just this skinny little fart.you know, maybe like 130 pounds, soaking wet. So remember in high school, I was actually, I got into nutrition to kind of gain muscle and, you know, strength for sports. And that was, you know, that I think that was when I really like dipped my toes into just understanding nutrition, which unfortunately is not taught quite that well in both undergraduate and graduate medical education.So it’s probably a little ahead of the curve there. then I think that just kind of snowballed on itself until I was about a second year resident in my combined internal medicine, pediatrics residency. And I spent a month with my mentor, Dr. Brooke Sweeney at Children’s Mercy.Dr. Sara Hampel, who’s the mother of the program. that’s where I saw what, like the light bulb went off. I saw what good obesity medicine could be, and that was off to the races from there.Kristen Stuppy (04:35)you know, as a pediatrician, there’s a saying that we gave up our 20s for this because there’s so much of training that we really do have to give up part of our life to intensely study and be at the hospital and everything. And I cannot imagine being triple board certified. I only did one with the kids. So but you can tell, like if this is your passion and even since high school, if you had this love of the nutrition that very much fits how that could keep you motivated to do all that you do.That’s fantastic.Sara Whelan (05:04)Yeah, I think it stands out too. It’s rare today to find a family to find a resource who has so many different layers and levels of your experience. But it’s just interest too in terms of looking at things from a family system, which is really so relevant and important with ADHD and with families.You’ve helped build large academic programs and then went on to open MoKan weight loss and metabolic health. What gaps were you seeing in care that made you realize something different was needed and for you to go ahead and open your own practice?Dr. Matt Lindquist (05:40)Yeah, mean, you know, first, I mean, it’s a and it’s as some may know, it’s a pretty big leap to go from employed, employed practice to kind of bootstrapping your own clinic. so I would say one of the one of the biggest gaps was just my family time. So that was that was a major, major push. But yeah, you know, so.I had started the University Health Weight Management Clinic about eight years ago or so now. And I was seeing...I was seeing people with heart failure, kidney failure, dialysis, and pretty advanced disease states. And I was sitting there in a 20-minute slot, which is inappropriate for them anyways, let alone anyone, pretty much. And I was doing absolutely fundamental nutrition stuff, for example, while talking about, hey, so what is a protein?while also managing these meds and okay, well if you’re on dialysis, don’t worry about how it’s metabolized by the kidney. A little bit more complex medicine stuff. And I just, mean, even fighting for a dietician and a psychologist and a sleep psychologist, like.still those resources were still so limited. And I was having to do so much of that and it just like we couldn’t scale. And so I really wanted to do something where I could really reach more people. And then I wanted to see families. maybe 5 % of my practice I was like trying to coordinate betweenyou know, the pediatric hospital and my adult clinic, but it just wasn’t, you know, wasn’t very easy to do.Yeah, so it was just not easy to coordinate care between the two hospital systems for the parents and their kids. And also, I was pretty passionate about it, and I knew there wasn’t really a resource in town. So that’s been really fun to be able to see families in my clinic now, see them back-to-back appointments. It’s more convenient for them.And the other, and actually what I did not realize was such a gap, and this is partly just a, yeah, potentially a local or regional gap was for kids with more like class one, class two obesity. So, you know, I think class one, class two, class three, or quote unquote morbid obesity, it’s kind of the, you how we think about them. So.when I was at the pizza hospital, I’d see a lot of class three. And they’re just bad, really tough genetics and just really advanced disease states. then we have kind of a bread and butter nutrition clinic, if you will. And what I started seeing when I opened MoKan was all these kids with, they’ve got...kind of tough genetics, you know, as far as their risk for obesity and maybe diabetes. But they have pretty good resources. you know, and their parents were thoughtful about their diets and exercise and sleep. And so they’re getting all the things, but they still had a genetic disease. And they really just needed, a lot of times, pretty simple, appropriate meds. And it’s...easy to take care of them. And so rewarding to see, you know, like a 15 year old kid with metabolic syndrome, which we know is a risk factor right now for, you know, heart disease and whatnot down the road. And within a year or so with pretty simple treatment, it’s gone. And they feel great. And the parents are just relieved that they don’t have to worry about their kids’ health.Kristen Stuppy (09:32)There’s a lot of stigma with weight and obesity, but also a lot of evidence-based approaches that address the biological, behavioral, and environmental factors of weight management. And you just mentioned genetics several times in there. How do you incorporate the genetic considerations, medications, lifestyle changes into a comprehensive treatment plan?Dr. Matt Lindquist (09:48)Yeah, great question. So first, I always get a good picture of the family history. mean, obesity is one of the most heritable diseases in all of medicine. Historically, we have not approached it that way. And in one thing, lot of patients and families, they come to me looking for answers, like, hey, why is this a problem for me? And at least like half the time, it’s right there in their initial questionnaire.It’s like, oh, OK, well, I ask, who else in the family has obesity? And it’s like, OK. And they’re like, everyone. I go, OK, well, we can stop thinking about that question, because you just answered it. I was just talking to a patient about this this morning that I find it’s really fascinating that if we have a family with breast cancer, we call that a BRCA mutation.Right? A bunch of autoimmune disorders that might be HLA-B27, know, it’s like genetic predisposition. If you have a whole family with obesity, they’re called lazy. You know, so like there’s this huge discrepancy. but we’ve known for a long time that it’s a strong genetic disease. So so one, you know, I just I like to paint that picture for families just inman, the relief that they get knowing that, yeah, this is not our fault. I don’t know. I get mad with my staff. I always have if we’re low on or if we’re out of Kleenex in my exam rooms, because there’s a lot of tears are shed, just giving that validation.Sara Whelan (11:12)Yeah.Kristen Stuppy (11:29)There’s so much guilt associated with it because people feel like they did something wrong. They ate the wrong things or they didn’t exercise. They are lazy. They feel like they are responsible for their own weight problems.Dr. Matt Lindquist (11:29)And then, ⁓ yeah.Right, well, mean, that’s the message they’ve been given for, you know, pretty much all of our history so far.Kristen Stuppy (11:48)Right?Sara Whelan (11:49)Many people don’t automatically connect ADHD with weight or metabolic health. When did you start noticing in your work a meaningful overlap between ADHD and obesity?Dr. Matt Lindquist (12:02)Yeah, was definitely when I was at the metabolic bariatric clinic at Children’s Mercy with a great clinical psychologist that some of you may know, Dr. Amy Beck, who has worked with ADHDKC in the past and has gladly joined the staff here at MoKan.But she was, I mean, it was just really helpful having her to identify and really clarify the behavioral health conditions for our families and patients. And then helping me and the other doc in the clinic come up with really good medication plans based on this. And kind of over time, we were, one academic center,in that particular clinic, we just had more layers of those resources. So I could see it followed, like, okay, yep, hey, we got the formal diagnosis of ADHD. And then over time, just that ADHD became so obvious with certain families and certain behaviors that either were a major driver for their obesity and weight gain.and or were just a barrier to success in the program. as you guys know, just life in general. yeah, so it just is, yeah, just time in that clinic with Dr. Beck and how, yeah, seeing how it drove the disease and then kind of worsened or limited our success.Kristen Stuppy (13:17)Mm-hmm.Sara Whelan (13:36)Yeah, yeah. I think we were talking about stigma earlier and there’s with obesity, well, also with ADHD in terms of control and feeling like, just change your behavior. So, so helpful then that you kind of have your eye on.and understand it from a different framework for families to really, like you were saying, to validate and provide some real quality information, but also just support that typically they may not get just from society. So yeah, really helpful.Dr. Matt Lindquist (14:11)Yeah, mean, I feel like another disease state, if you will, that a lot of patients and families get labeled as like lazy. And they come in, they’re like self labeling. Or someone else mentions that. And I can’t remember, was some years ago that.Sara Whelan (14:29)Right.Dr. Matt Lindquist (14:37)I go, okay, I don’t believe in lazy, or anything in that realm. To me, it’s either some undiagnosed mental health condition, whether it’s depression, anxiety, or ADHD, or a sleep disorder. But yeah, it’s just misunderstood. And in the context of some of our old...how we used to approach anxiety and depression, especially in primary care. I was like, oh, just make yourself happier or whatever. And then we learned like, OK, well, that’s not quite right. It’s like, oh, be more focused. Great, thanks for the guidance. How about let’s change my biology, please.Sara Whelan (15:04)to stop.Will cover.Kristen Stuppy (15:15)Right. And when we talk about ADHD, we often focus on the attention or the behaviors, but not always what’s really happening in the brain. And ADHD is associated with a shortened lifespan because of many factors. But can you talk a little bit about the shared neurobiology between ADHD and obesity, which is of course one of the relations to the shortened lifespan.Dr. Matt Lindquist (15:37)Yeah, is, there was a great study, or just a review published years ago by Dr. O’Hara out in Maine, kind of prominent pediatric obesity doc. And this was a, this is kind of a light bulb moment for me thinking about this, because.One, Dr. Stuppy as you know, when we see, so as pediatricians, we see like eczema and asthma and allergies. We know, like these are like really shared things and they’re in this like grouping where if you see one of them, you’re likely to see its friends. That doesn’t mean they have to be there, but they’re generally lurking around somewhere.And this really, know, really shone a light on that for me. And what we know about it is there’s, it’s the link between the two is primarily like dysfunction in our like dopamine and like reward pathways. Right? that’s, there’s, you know, a little bit more to that, but that’s kind of the main, you know, the main center where we have some trouble.And in fact, so there’s like there’s some functional MRI studies And so for You folks out there that don’t know what that is You know, we look at the MRI. It’s like the you know, 4k TV where an x-ray was like, you know TV sets of the 1960s so so really detailed view of In this case her brain and then the functional is like actually we’re you know, you’re doing something like we’re know looking at cards orwatching something, so we’re looking at changes in your brain while you’re doing something. And what we’ve seen with this overlap of ADHD and obesity is like three kind of specific areas. One is like reward processing. and this is actually, so part of this is like food responsiveness, okay? So you like see food, not.not shrimp, but you visualize it. And is your brain kind of lighten up or you’re like, I’m fine. So that accounts for about 64 % of the effect of between ADHD and our fat mass. And then two is response inhibition. So you’re like, OK, again, I see this or we drive by one of the thousand billboards that tell you you’re hungry.And then I want it, and I know it’s not great for my health or my goals, whatever, but I got to have it anyways. Or like a hyper fixation with ADHD, et cetera. It’s just a wonderful, terrible combination. And then the third part is emotional regulation. And I see that clinically a lot with just emotional eating.So, yeah, so those are the kind of the main shared pathways between the two and that we see, you know, I see pretty regularly in clinic.Sara Whelan (18:27)You also work with patients who have anxiety, binge eating, and sleep disorders. How do you see these issues interacting with ADHD in your patients?Dr. Matt Lindquist (18:37)man, like I said before, they’re close friends. So one, anxiety is the most commonly associated behavioral health diagnosis associated with binge eating, which I think a lot of people don’t know is the most common eating disorder there is. And depending on your setting with like so.like a bariatric surgery center versus an outpatient clinic like mine. I mean, we can see 50 % of people coming in with somewhere on that binge eating disorder spectrum, up to like 75 % if you’re in bariatric surgery. And a big part of this, again, that reward pathway, right? So dopamine reward. But then, of course, people with ADHD,that have more impulse control issues, which particularly is more prevalent in kids. So that part of it, thankfully, lessens a little bit over time. But especially with kids, impulse control is huge. And then as you guys know,ADHD can worsen the anxiety, or anxiety can worsen ADHD. And then both of those can kind of swell into this rest for binge eating disorder later. And then sleep disorders, which are one of the most important things that we think about in obesity and just our metabolic health long term, it’s a huge risk for these patients.You know, one insomnia, so trouble falling asleep, that can be due to kind of circadian rhythm problems or anxiety. know, one of our patients are like, hey, my mind is just racing at night. I’m worried. And that could be either anxiety and or ADHD. And then, and then when you have sleep disorder and poor either quantity or quality sleep, that can worsen the inattention or anxiety symptoms.And then, you know, and it’s like this snowball of not goodness.Kristen Stuppy (20:40)Right. They all like to play together, which is not healthy for us.Dr. Matt Lindquist (20:45)It’s notgreat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s like the troublesome kids on the block and they just like, they just hang out together. And when one of them gets wild, the other, you know, the other two get like even more turned off. It’s, it’s rough.Kristen Stuppy (20:56)Yeah.Sara Whelan (20:57)You’ve emphasized genetics and individualized treatment in your work. Why is having a personalized approach especially important when ADHD is part of the picture?Dr. Matt Lindquist (21:07)Yeah, it’s a great question. one, I like to think about treatment over a long term. So I can teach a monkey how to help someone get 15, 20 pound weight loss in six months. Anyone with ill intentions and a script pad can probably accomplish that these days. But.But one, we’ve known for years that if you find the right treatment for the right person, and kind of what we call like a phenotype, and so, you know, in this setting, I often worry about that kind of, you know, hedonic eating, so like more like emotional slash binge eating. Again, oftentimes associated with like ADHD or anxiety, they’re gonna respond much better to certain medications.And then, you know, and then if you’re ADHD, then okay, if you’re not having great effects with your treatment, like, okay, are you forgetting your meds? You do you have troubles like planning the meals that we talked about, or are you just like, oh man, I forgot breakfast and lunch. And now, you know, it’s like, it’s just.appetites off the rails in the evening and a binge. So it’s really important to get to those like fundamental things that are a barrier to you just taking care of your health. Because really the weight loss often is so, I mean, I wouldn’t say easy. The challenge is really like, how do we guide you to just have a healthy, you know, happy life? Like that’s...That’s what I’m trying to get for or aim for for my patients. And you just can’t ignore something so foundational like ADHD.Sara Whelan (22:51)Yeah.Kristen Stuppy (22:52)Yeah, there’sa lot of confusion and fear around medications, both for ADHD, weight management, and other things that have a lot of stigma attached to them. So how do you help patients think about the pharmacotherapy for obesity in a thoughtful and evidence-based way?Dr. Matt Lindquist (23:05)Yeah, great question. So one, think we have to do it. mean, it’s just humbly, it would be the first answer. And this kind of goes back to just understanding the genetics and the biology of all this. So I mean, as you all know, ADHD often doesn’t come out of nowhere. That’s, you know, we’ve.find that somewhere in the family and obesity is very similar. so, I like to, one, just tie in that context and then I always ask about what are your goals? What are your goals in life? What are your goals for your health and life? And oftentimes that’s, you know,By this time, they’re seeing me for a reason. And this is not about like you’re a failure or you can’t do it on your own. It’s just some disease states would need medications to have our healthiest life. And we have a lot of evidence with these medications, a lot of evidence of what happens if you don’t do them. So I just like to just.paint that picture that it’s not, this is there for you, the goals that you told me about before I even met you, in your questionnaire, and it’s not a failure. It’d be like if you had cancer, or diabetes. We wouldn’t question, oh, why are you on meds? Well, yeah, I’ve got a disease that can cause problems. These are not, they’re different, but not that dramatically.Sara Whelan (24:41)So yeah, so helpful. And I know that for parents who may be listening and there are some light bulbs going off or going, hmm, this explains a lot about their own child or even, like we said, with families, it’s genetic themselves. What’s one shift in mindset or how they look at things that you hope that they can take away from our conversation today?Dr. Matt Lindquist (25:03)Ooh.Yeah, you know, think one that, you know, again, this is is biologically based. But, you know, ADHD, anxiety, obesity. Does that mean you can’t control it? No. You know, there are a lot of things we can do to help to help all of them. But, you know, but also some people just need. The treatment. And.and ideally someone that knows the disease state. get evidence-based experience guidance because they’re nuanced and they’re kind of difficult too.Kristen Stuppy (25:39)Yeah.Sara Whelan (25:40)think that’d be really so helpful in creating some hope for families, but also confidence, having a reliable, well-educated, knowledgeable physician to get guidance from. So can be hard to know where to go.Dr. Matt Lindquist (25:56)Not everyone has a Dr. Stuppy he as their pediatrician.Sara Whelan (25:59)Right.Kristen Stuppy (26:00)WhenI do not do this, I’ve actually referred patients to you because it’s well outside my scope of practice. We all have to stay in our lanes. But I am very excited that you’re speaking with the ADHD parent group because I do think this is something that is very common, but not talked about. Again, this obesity medicine has even more stigma than ADHD. ADHD in some realms, there’s almost people like want to be.Dr. Matt Lindquist (26:17)Yeah.Kristen Stuppy (26:26)neurodivergent because it’s kind of that catchphrase right now. It’s kind of But nobody wants to be unhealthy. so I am very glad that you’re going to be speaking to our parent group on Tuesday, April 14th at 6.30, online Central Time. And without giving too much away, what are you most excited for parents to understand after hearing your talk? Why you’re tired and hungry? How the ADHD brain impacts weight, sleep, and binge eating?Dr. Matt Lindquist (26:28)Yeah, for sure.Sara Whelan (26:29)Dijour.Dr. Matt Lindquist (26:48)Man, I feel like the title, you know, does it. That’s what I’m excited about. No, you know, man, when I mentioned that to families in clinic, it’s like, the light bulb goes off. They’re like, I feel like you saw right through me. So, yeah, I think kind of painting that full picture of...those unfortunate friends and how we can address them and identify any things that are making potentially all of them worse at the same time. yeah, I’m looking forward to it.Sara Whelan (27:22)to thank you so much for joining us today and for helping really bring clarity to a topic that’s often so overlooked.Kristen Stuppy (27:31)Yeah, I’m really looking forward to this conversation. Again, if you are interested, go to adhdkc.org and hit the events tab to learn more and sign up. It’s free and it will be on Tuesday, April 14th at 6.30 PM Central.Dr. Matt Lindquist (27:31)Yeah, pleasure. Pleasure being here.All right, thanks for having me.Kristen Stuppy (27:52)Thank you. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

If you’ve ever wondered whether your child’s struggles come from ADHD, anxiety, or both — you’re not alone. And now you can watch the recording of our most recent ADHDKC Parent Group talk:🎥 Wired & Wiggly: Understanding Anxiety and ADHD in Kidswith pediatrician and childhood mental health advocate Dr. Natasha BurgertSara Whelan, our ADHDKC Parent Group volunteer coordinator, opened the evening by welcoming families and sharing a reminder of ADHDKC’s connection to CHADD — our national parent organization dedicated to evidence-based ADHD education and support. Then Dr. Burgert guided us through an engaging, fast-paced, and practical discussion designed with busy parents in mind.💡 What You’ll Learn in This RecordingDr. Burgert shares real-world insights from her work as a full-time pediatrician caring for children with ADHD, anxiety, and everyday pediatric challenges. In this talk, she explains:* Why ADHD and anxiety often show up together — and how easily they can be confused* How similar behaviors (like inattention, restlessness, or avoidance) can come from very different causes* What’s happening in the brain — including executive function challenges vs. perceived threat responses* Questions parents can use to better understand the why behind behaviors* The importance of comprehensive evaluation and working with your pediatrician as a first step* Evidence-based supports including therapy approaches, school accommodations, lifestyle foundations, and medication considerations* Practical strategies for co-regulation, routines, sleep, and everyday family functioningAs Dr. Burgert reminds us, we aren’t treating “alphabet soup” — we’re supporting kids who are trying their best in a fast, loud world.🧠 Want to Keep Learning?Dr. Burgert also writes about ADHD, anxiety, and child mental health for parents and caregivers. You can explore more of her work in her Substack, starting with the article with this talk’s resources.💬 Stay ConnectedWe encourage you to explore upcoming ADHDKC events and parent group meetings — a welcoming space for learning, connection, and support.Thank you for being part of our ADHDKC community and for continuing to learn alongside us. We’re grateful you’re here.Chapters00:00 Introduction to ADHDKC and Event Overview02:06 Understanding ADHD and Anxiety: A Pediatrician’s Perspective11:53 Diagnosis and Treatment: Navigating ADHD and Anxiety19:12 Comprehensive Treatment Plans for ADHD and Anxiety25:56 Treating ADHD and Anxiety Together28:27 Understanding SSRIs and Their Role33:09 Monitoring Medication and Adjustments35:16 Common Questions About ADHD and Anxiety39:31 Practical Strategies for Parents45:38 Community Support and Resources This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

Our newest ADHD KC Conversations episode is live — and this one flips the script a little!Instead of previewing an upcoming speaker, Kristen Stuppy, MD, FAAP, sits down with special guest Lindsey Lipsky, M.Ed, CNP, a longtime special education advocate and new ADHDKC Advisory Board member. Together, they talk about what families are really experiencing right now — the pressure, the chronic stress, and why supporting parents is just as important as supporting kids.👉 You can:* Watch the full video right here in this newsletter* Watch on our YouTube channel* Listen on your favorite podcast platform💬 What You’ll Hear in This Episode* Why community and connection matter so much for neurodivergent families* The reality parents are facing right now — stress, burnout, and limited supports* The science behind chronic stress and how it affects the body* Why caring for yourself is not selfish — it’s foundational to supporting your kids* A preview of the upcoming ADHDKC Parent Group talk:Parents Under Pressure: Strengthening Your Mental Health & Well-Being as a CaregiverLindsey also shares insights from her work supporting families and schools — and why spaces like ADHDKC are more important than ever.📅 Join Us for the Upcoming ADHDKC Parent Group EventParents Under Pressure: Strengthening Your Mental Health & Well-Being as a CaregiverPresented by Dr. Kristen Stuppy🗓 Tuesday, March 10🕡 6:30 PM📍 In person at the Jewish Community Center (the J) -OR- 💻 Online💲 Free & open to everyone — ADHDKC members, J members, and the general public in Kansas City and beyondDuring this session, you’ll learn:* What chronic stress actually does to your body* Why basic self-care strategies matter more than you think* Practical ways to reduce overwhelm and strengthen resilience* How to make small changes that support your mental and physical well-beingNo diagnosis is required — if you’re a caregiver feeling pressure, you belong here.👉 RSVP Here https://www.adhdkc.org/event-details/parents-under-pressure-strengthening-your-mental-health-well-being-as-a-caregiver🤝 Why This Conversation MattersParents often feel like they have to handle everything alone — juggling work, school systems, therapies, and everyday life. This episode is a reminder that:* You are not alone* Your health matters too* And support is available in this communityThanks for being part of ADHDKC.As always — take good care of yourselves. Parenting is hard, but you don’t have to do it alone. This post is public so feel free to share it with someone you think needs it.Chapters00:00 Introduction to ADHD KC Conversations01:38 Lindsay Lipsky: Advocate for Neurodivergent Families03:09 The Importance of Community Support06:36 Collaboration Between ADHDKC and Lindsay’s Work11:18 Understanding Parental Stress16:01 Empowering Parents: Tools for Mental Health17:28 Event Details and ConclusionTranscript Kristen Stuppy (00:16)Welcome back to ADHD KC Conversations. I’m Kristen Stuppy and I’m so glad you’re joining us. Each month we sit down with experts, parents, and individuals in the ADHD community to explore topics that make a real difference for families in the Kansas City area and beyond. Today, we’re changing it up a bit. Usually my co-host, Sara Whalen, and I talk with the upcoming ADHD KC parent group speaker so you can get to know them ahead of time. This week, Sara couldn’t join us.And since I’m actually the one doing the next ADHDKC parent group talk on March 10th, and you already know me from hosting this podcast and other talks, I thought we’d flip the script. Instead of interviewing a future speaker, I invited someone who’s become a really meaningful connection for me, Lindsay Lipsky. And Lindsay introduced herself to me at the International ADHD Conference back in November, and later invited me to speak at a parent group event at the Jewish Community Center, locally known as the J.and I’m excited to use this wonderful space at the J for this upcoming talk. So just to be clear, all members of the Jewish Community Center and ADHDKC and just the general public are welcome. And this event will be both in person and online. And today I wanted to ask Lindsay about her work, and then I’ve asked her to turn the tables and ask me why I wanted to talk about something that so many parents are feeling right now, being under pressure, what chronic stress does to our bodies, and what parents can actually do about it.So Lindsay, I’m really glad that you’re here and welcome to the podcast.Lindsey (01:41)Thank you, thank you for having me. It’s an honor to be here and Dr. Stuppy have known you for a long time and you’re famous to me, so thank you. Yeah, thanks, thanks.Kristen Stuppy (01:54)So to start us off, can you tell our listeners a little bit about who you are?Lindsey (01:57)Yeah, so I actually run a program in the Jewish community that helps support kids and families that have disabilities have access to our community. I’ve been a special education advocate for almost 20 years now and have worked in the field and more specifically now with ⁓ kiddos that are neurodivergent who have ADHD, autism, and other learning disabilities.Kristen Stuppy (02:23)So what kinds of things do you see coming up again and again when parents walk through your door?Lindsey (02:27)Yeah, so a lot of the parents that I work with, they are coming to me to seek community. So a lot of them, you know, the Jewish community is really small and our issues are no different than any other community. So oftentimes when they are coming through my door, they’re feeling really lost. And so often they are looking for just connection, resources and supports.just another ear to hear what’s going on in their lives and to help troubleshoot issues that arise from parenting our neurodivergent kiddos. And it is a really humbling experience just to be on that journey helping them.Kristen Stuppy (03:09)That is wonderful. What kind of themes do you see when parents come in to your office again and again?Lindsey (03:15)So a lot of what I see is just parents that are looking for connection, parents that are looking for resources and supports, sometimes just to listen to them. As your talk, I’m sure, is gonna talk about parenting kids that are neurodivergent is not for the faint of heart. Oftentimes, it can be challenging.And so I think really having the ability to talk to each other and problem solve is really the meat of what I see when I’m working with families.Kristen Stuppy (03:47)I think that’s very helpful and parents do need that support. I know you and I first officially met and talked at the International ADHD Conference in November in Kansas City. But since then, we’ve had several conversations and it’s been really clear how passionate you are about supporting families with neurodivergent children and the whole ADHD community. In fact, I’m so excited that you’re joining ADHDKC’s advisory board. What drew you to ADHDKC and what made you want to be involved?Lindsey (04:14)Well, I’ve again just been a lifelong advocate for individuals with disabilities. More recently, I have a personal connection with ADHD. It’s in our family system. so navigating that complex process has really brought me closer. I think it’s interesting that when you’re a special educator and I’ve worked on so many individual education plans, IEPs, 504 plans,And then suddenly when you’re on the other side of that table, when you’re a parent, and suddenly, you know, the script has flipped a bit, and suddenly you realize that this is hard, this is really hard. And I really feel strongly that, you know, we’re better together, and I think the work that ADHDKC does is really important for our community.Kristen Stuppy (05:02)So of course the theme now is the script being flipped because we’re gonna have you interview me here flipping the script for the whole podcast. And then you just talking about how your personal life it’s been affected. And it is so very different as a professional who’s used to the system seeing how it works from the other side. So yeah, I think that’s very interesting for me as a parent of a child.Lindsey (05:11)There we go.Kristen Stuppy (05:27)now young adults with ADHD. I do remember those days of trying to get all of the knowledge I knew from the other side to work with what my own child needed. So how does the mission of ADHDKC align with the work you’re already doing?Lindsey (05:41)So a lot of the work that I do right now is supporting schools and systems and programs to just be more accepting and understanding. You know, the whole neurodiversity movement has been really impactful, I think, for the community and understanding that people that have ADHD really bring a wide array of strengths. So a lot of the work that I do now involves training and consulting with school teams and with programs.⁓ just so that they understand that we are better with our individuals that have ADHD in our community. And I also work with families that of course are just running through situations that ⁓ are complicated. So I think especially because ADHD KC is such a strong chapter, was really drawn to this work and reallyI’m really honored that I get to join and help support you guys in this important endeavor.Kristen Stuppy (06:36)think we’re excited to be able to join with your group as well and offer things to a larger community. I think, unfortunately, funding for many groups that provide services. know CHADD in general has lost some funding that was provided through the CDC in the past. And I feel like it’s harder to reach people due to some of these cuts. So it’s going to be really important to be able to support families where they are.Lindsey (06:40)Haha.Kristen Stuppy (07:03)with less. So I think that we’ll be able to help each other with both of our groups from there. So have you in the past or looking forward to the future worked with parent groups and how do you feel like those help your community?Lindsey (07:17)Yeah, so through the work I do, we actually used to have a parent support group that actually did lose funding and that isn’t a part of our program offerings. And I think it is really important and really impactful for people that are experiencing similar situations, are in similar life stages to come together and there’s really a beauty in bringing people that are struggling.or that just are looking for, you know, have questions together. And in our community, I think what people tend to forget is that when we lose funding on things, it affects, it has reverberating effects. I think, you know, right now, especially, we’re gonna see just a lot more things coming down the pike in special education that people don’t.don’t quite understand that, you know, if things are taken away today, what that’s gonna look like in a year from now, in three years from now, in 30 years from now. You know, like things that happen today impact our kids for the future. And so, you know, I know that like we’re not necessarily talking about funding, but it’s really important for spaceslike parent support groups, and just our general programs that are helping support our families and helping support kids that have disabilities that they still are able to access resources. I think it’s really important with even limited funding and limited support that these still happen.Kristen Stuppy (08:45)Yeah, have parents ever told you that they’re pieces when supports grow away?Lindsey (08:52)yeah. And I think actually what ends up happening is they don’t even realize that it’s gone away. And so that’s, know, for example, when we stopped our parent support group, I still had people reaching out and saying, hey, are we still, is this still happening? Is this something that we’re still doing? And it just goes away, right? And so I think that people don’t know.People don’t necessarily recognize until it’s much later that these supports and services are not there. And there’s an impact with that.Kristen Stuppy (09:22)And I think it’s going to go beyond the families that use the services directly. It will affect the children who aren’t necessarily using any of these special education services because there will be time and energy that the teachers were no longer able to spend with them too. I think it will have ripple effects with all of the kids at schools. So that’s why I am excited that our two groups can come together and use resources shared.Lindsey (09:43)Yeah, I mean.Yeah, and so much of the work that you guys do has no cost. And so that’s what’s really important. think sometimes people don’t even realize that when we ask parents to pay an additional fee to attend something, that’s a barrier in itself, right? So as a mom, I have three young kids that are under the age of eight. We’re doing lots of different supports. just dyslexia tutors.occupational therapy, speech language therapy, those are all added costs that parents are absorbing, you know, and we’re not necessarily signing up for, you know, soccer after school or doing those things. We’re doing these supports and therapies for our families. And I feel like when we can offer things free of charge, we’re just, giving that benefit to our community in ways that maybeyou don’t realize.Kristen Stuppy (10:39)I a lot of families who have children with any kind of chronic condition, whether it’s like you mentioned, dyslexia, other learning disabilities, or health chronic conditions, they do need to spend more money doing things. So I don’t want to get this on a downer side. Maybe this is a good time to maybe flip some roles. Have you interviewed me about the talk because it’s not about finances. I want people to come and enjoy and learn andLindsey (10:57)For sure. Yeah!Kristen Stuppy (11:04)not worry about the cost of living.Lindsey (11:07)I agree, yeah. Okay, so you titled this talk, Parents Under Pressure, Strengthening Your Mental Health and Well-being as a Caregiver. Why did you choose this topic? Why now?Kristen Stuppy (11:19)So this topic actually is a redo of something that I previously did after the former Surgeon General came out with a ⁓ guideline for stress and noting that Parents have more stress than other adults that do not have children. And then of course, in the ADHD KC space, parents of kids with neurodivergence have more stress -there’s more things going on that they need to try to wrangle up and deal with and manage. And there’s just a lot. And I definitely remember as my children were growing up, how hard it was to juggle parenting and work and trying to do social things and other events. It’s just a lot. And so I want parents to know, number one, they’re not alone. And then also to...learn that they can do some things that are maybe surface level obvious, but help them understand the importance of doing it and maybe motivate them to get some of this stuff done.Lindsey (12:24)I love that. So when parents hear the word stress, we often think of like emotions. But in this talk, you focus a lot on what stress does to the body. Why is that an important shift?Kristen Stuppy (12:36)I feel like a lot of times when physicians or therapists or other professionals tell people to do the basic things like get more sleep or eat healthy or get exercise, these are all foundational things that we all need that help our physical body manage stress. But I feel like people dismiss it because they don’t really understand the why behind it.And if you understand the why, hope is that you will make it more of a priority. And our mind body is connected. Anyone who tells you otherwise just doesn’t really understand. There is a very strong mind body connection. So it’s not all about pills that will fix things.Lindsey (13:14)Yeah.I couldn’t agree more. Well, and you’re a pediatrician, a great one, what made you want to talk to the parents about themselves rather than about kids?Kristen Stuppy (13:25)You know, this isn’t very much a shift for me, because even in my practice, when I’m working with families, I do talk to parents a lot about their own conditions and things that might impact their ability to parent. It is very prominent. If you’ve been to the doctor’s office in the last year or two, you have probably filled out what’s called a social determinant of health questionnaire becauseAll of us are supposed to be talking about, you afford your food? Can you afford your medication? Are you safe in the home? Do you have a home? All of these things, because these do impact the family’s safety, health, well-being. So it’s not too much of a stretch to consider this. And I want children to be in safe and supportive homes. And if parents are not in a mentally healthy place and they’re overstressed, overextended, they’re not going to be thethe best parents for their children. it really does all tie in. The family unit is important.Lindsey (14:21)Yeah, that’s so important. So many parents feel like they should be able to handle everything, myself included. How does that belief actually make stress worse?Kristen Stuppy (14:31)You know, I lived this. ⁓ I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD myself until I was in my fifties. And looking back, it was so very clear, but I think like many people who have ADHD, they have to always be doing something. And if they’re not doing something, they’re bored and boredom is not a good place to be when you have ADHD. So I have always from the time I was at least in high school.Lindsey (14:33)YeahKristen Stuppy (14:56)overextended myself. I wanted to stay busy and I got more done if I was busy. And I think to some extent, families, parents have to do that because kids are, they have to get to school, they have to be fed, they have to go to their activities, they need help with homework, whatever it is, parents want to do everything. And they always look at the other parents like, well, she’s able to be the volunteer for this and hold down a full-time job and do all these other things. So there’s that.Well, if she can do it, I can do it mentality. And you’re laughing. feel like you appreciate this, right? Like we all.Lindsey (15:27)I understand, but they they saycomparison is the thief of joy. but it happens. Yes.Kristen Stuppy (15:32)Yes, that’s a great quote though. Comparison is the thief of joy. I like that.So I do feel like parents feel like they should be able to do this, but we have to get out of the show to what it could is and be kind to ourself, practice self-care because that is not something that we can avoid. We need self-care. It’s not selfish to be good to ourselves.Lindsey (15:53)Yeah, I love that. So without giving away the whole talk, what are a few things parents will walk away with after attending this session?Kristen Stuppy (16:01)Well, I will warn everybody, the talk does start off with a lot of what we are seeing or what our bodies feel and how our bodies react. So there’s a lot of sciency kind of stuff, because I’m a science geek, about our heart, our lungs, our immune system, everything about how stress affects it. Because again, I want people to understand that. But then we’re going to talk about things that you can do to help with this stuff.So I hope that parents leave feeling empowered and enlightened and wanting to make some changes.Lindsey (16:33)I love that. I’m really excited. For parents listening who are thinking, identify with this, but I’m just too exhausted and I don’t have time for one more thing. What do you want them to hear?Kristen Stuppy (16:45)you know, that might be the thing that you say no to. And it is okay to say no to one more thing if it’s not time for you to deal with this, but you do need to make time. You know, they always say if you don’t have time to do the things that are good for you, then you need to make the time to do them. So at some point you need to sit down and figure out what can you drop from all the things that you do that aren’t giving you joy, aren’t benefiting yourfamily or you personally because we are all overextended and we need to sometimes cut that back.Lindsey (17:15)but also try to come to see Dr. Steppi’s talk because it’s gonna be great. Just take out something else that you’re doing that you can say no to. No, I’m just kidding. Thank you, I loved interviewing you. That was super fun.Kristen Stuppy (17:26)Yeah, it was fun. Yeah,So before we wrap up, just want to make sure everyone knows how to join us. We’ve been talking about this event. is Parents Under Pressure, Strengthening Your Mental Health and Well-being as a Caregiver. It’s going to be Tuesday, March 10th at 6.30, both in person at the J and online. Everyone is welcome. It’s free to attend. And you don’t have to have any sort of diagnosis or anything official. Just come.Find details and registration at adhdkc.org under the events tab. And Lindsay, if listeners want to learn more about you and your work, where should they go?Lindsey (18:02)Well, they can email me anytime. Lindsay.Lipski at gmail.com. The work that we do in the Jewish community is listed ⁓ under Jewish Federation at sassown.org.Kristen Stuppy (18:14)All right, and I will also add that since Lindsay is joining the ADHDKC board, she is listed on the About Us page, and I believe that links to her LinkedIn so you can learn about her. right, so thank you so much for joining me today and being part of the reason this conversation is happening at all.Lindsey (18:26)Wow, thanks.Thank you, we’re so excited to have you and I’m really looking forward to this discussion.Kristen Stuppy (18:37)And to all of our listeners, thank you for being here. If this episode resonated with you, consider joining us for the parent group talk. And as always, take good care of yourselves. Parenting is hard, but you don’t have to do it alone. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

We’re excited to share the latest ADHDKC Parent Group recording, featuring Sean McCormick, a former special education teacher whose passion for supporting students with ADHD truly shines through.From the very beginning, you can hear Sean’s deep commitment to helping students succeed. His background in special education gives him a grounded, real-world perspective that parents and teens alike can benefit from.What Sean CoveredA Framework for Supporting Students with ADHD – CHASESean introduced his CHASE framework, designed to address the unique challenges students with ADHD face and to offer practical, realistic supports. He emphasized the critical role of executive function skills in student success and shared ways parents and educators can help students manage schoolwork more effectively.Understanding the “CHASE Cycle”Sean described how many students begin a semester motivated and hopeful, only to become overwhelmed as missing assignments pile up and stress increases.Helping Students Engage Teachers EffectivelyOne highlight was Sean’s “Managing Your Bosses” strategy, which helps students proactively work with teachers instead of avoiding them.He shared:* A goal-setting template for early-in-the-semester conversations* The PING email framework (Pleasant Introduction, Inform/Inquire, Negotiate a Plan, End with Gratitude)* Why email templates can reduce anxiety and improve follow-through—for students and adultsAcademic Management & Family SupportSean walked through tools and strategies to help students:* Organize assignments across multiple platforms using a student dashboard* Prioritize tasks when everything feels urgent* Benefit from family team meetings that build collective efficacy when simple organization isn’t enoughHe also outlined what support looks like at different stages of academic struggle—from the alert phase to the exhaustion phase—and how parents can respond without escalating burnout.Executive Function Strategies That Actually HelpSean shared practical advice on:* Negotiating plans with teachers* Using visual organizers* Reducing burnout* Acknowledging ADHD openly* Shifting toward process praise rather than outcome-only praiseResources SharedSean generously shared a document packed with resources that parents can explore on their own or together with their teen:He also shared some pages of his website that covers some of the questions raised: * How to advocate for executive function coaching services (as part of the IEP) * How to Help Students With ADHD Keep Their Backpack C.L.E.A.N.* Search for articles by subject* Student Dashboard / Digital Planner* PrintablesHe mentioned Jessica McCabe as an influencer with data-based strategies. Find her on How to ADHD. If you’re supporting a student who is overwhelmed, burned out, or struggling to keep up despite “trying hard,” this recording offers concrete tools and a compassionate roadmap forward. Know someone who would benefit from this? This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

ADHD KC ConversationsFeaturing Dr. Natasha Burgert, MD, FAAP Hosted by Dr. Kristen Stuppy & Sara WhelanWe’re excited to share the newest episode of ADHD KC Conversations, where Dr. Kristen Stuppy and Sara Whelan sit down with pediatrician, author, and child-mental-health advocate Dr. Natasha Burgert, MD, FAAP for a powerful and practical conversation about ADHD, anxiety, and the kids who experience both.If you’ve ever wondered:* How early can ADHD or anxiety show up?* How can you tell whether a child’s inattention is from worry or distraction?* What daily routines actually help anxious and wiggly brains?* Do ADHD medicines make anxiety better (or worse)?…this episode is packed with insight, clarity, and the calm, practical wisdom every parent deserves.🎙️ Episode Highlights👉 Anxiety and ADHD often show up together.Dr. Burgert explains why these two “best buddies” frequently overlap in developing brains — and why some worries are normal and expected as kids grow.👉 How to tell the difference between anxious inattention and ADHD inattention.She shares simple, real-world questions she uses in practice to help families and kids figure out what’s really driving those “zoned out” moments.👉 Why treating one condition can help the other.She discusses what she sees in practice: treating ADHD often reduces anxiety and treating anxiety often improves attention.👉 How to know if therapy or medication is working.It’s not just about rating scales; it’s about real life. Are mornings smoother? Are transitions easier? Are they more willing to use checklists or follow routines? These daily wins matter just as much as any score.👉 A sneak peek of her upcoming ADHDKC event.Dr. Burgert will be sharing even more practical strategies in her free upcoming talk:Worried and Wiggly: Understanding ADHD & Anxiety in Kids📅 Tuesday, February 10🕢 6:30 PM CT💻 Online & free to allRegister at ADHDKC.org → Events or hit the button below!🎧 Listen NowDon’t miss this warm, validating, and deeply useful conversation.Tune in to the new episode of ADHD KC Conversations wherever you listen to podcasts.💙 Stay ConnectedFollow ADHDKC on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn to keep up with upcoming events, resources, and more conversations designed to support families raising neurodivergent kids.Thanks for being part of our community — and stay curious. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

We’re excited to share the recording of our latest ADHDKC Parent Group event,Executive Function Tips for Tweens and Teens, featuring Becky Bowe from FitLearning KC.If you’re parenting a tween or teen who struggles with organization, time management, follow-through, or transitions, this talk is packed with practical, realistic strategies you can start using right away.What Becky Covered (and Why It Matters)Becky focused on how executive functioning is a skill set that has to be taught and practiced, not a character flaw or a lack of motivation. She emphasized that ADHD isn’t about knowing what to do—it’s about being able to do it at the right time, in the right way.Key takeaways include:* Executive function = the brain’s “air traffic control system”Skills like planning, task initiation, working memory, time awareness, self-monitoring, and organization all fall under executive function—and they impact everything from homework to morning routines to emotional regulation.* Exposure is not the same as learningJust because a system works for adults doesn’t mean teens know how to use it. Systems must be explicitly taught, practiced, and supported.* The 3-step support cycle* Build the structure (checklists, routines, zones, timers)* Support the structure (modeling, prompts, co-doing—not taking over)* Fade support over time as independence growsThis cycle is dynamic—support may need to increase or decrease depending on the day.* Daily and weekly planning for “future you”Co-creating checklists at the end of the day and previewing the week ahead helps reduce overwhelm, decision fatigue, and last-minute chaos.* Launch pads and zonesDesignated spaces for backpacks, shoes, sports gear, and homework reduce lost items and stressful transitions. These systems work best when the whole family uses them, not just the teen with ADHD.* Timers for open-ended timeTeaching teens to use timers helps manage time blindness, especially during screen time, homework breaks, and evening routines.* Natural consequences are powerful teachersForgetting cleats or missing an assignment can be a learning opportunity—when followed by calm reflection and problem-solving, not rescue or shame.* Judgment-free language mattersGiving teens words like “my brain glitched today” instead of “I failed” helps build self-awareness, resilience, and long-term independence.This recording is especially helpful if you’re trying to figure out how to support your teen without constant reminders, nagging, or power struggles.Your feedback is requestedAt the end of her talk, Becky shared how valuable your feedback is in shaping future sessions. Please take a moment to complete the brief survey using the link below that she provided. Your voice truly helps guide what we do next.📅 Don’t Miss What’s Coming NextWe have many upcoming ADHDKC events for parents, teens, and adults. Be sure to check our events page so you don’t miss topics that matter to your family. 📲 Follow ADHDKC (Your Way)Stay connected and access recordings and resources on your favorite platforms:* Facebook* Instagram* YouTube* Podcast (Spotify)* LinkedInNot on social media? No problem:* You can find event recordings and articles here on our Substack - be sure to subscribe! * Recordings are also available directly on our website🔔 Subscribe to ADHDKC.org & Become a Site MemberYou can subscribe to new posts directly on our website.Site members receive notifications for all new content and recordings.Becoming a site member also gives you access to one or more of our online ADHDKC communities, which:* Works similarly to Facebook groups* Is off Meta* Is owned and controlled by ADHDKC, not a social media corporationTo become a member:* Visit our website* Click Log In* Create a free accountOnce logged in, you can join discussions, access content, and participate in our online groups in a more private, community-centered space.Thank you for being part of ADHDKC and for continuing to show up for your kids—and yourselves. 💙 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

🎙️ NEW EPISODE: ADHD KC ConversationsFeaturing Sean McCormick, M.Ed.Hosted by Dr. Kristen Stuppy & Sara WhelanEver notice how hard it can be to stay focused these days — especially for teens? In our latest ADHD KC Conversations episode, we dive into the fascinating (and sometimes frustrating) intersection of attention, technology, and the developing brain.Our guest, Sean McCormick from Executive Function Specialists, joins us to unpack how today’s tech tools are designed to capture attention and deliver instant gratification — and what that means for teens whose brains are still developing self-regulation and planning skills. You’ll find that Sean shares a wealth of knowledge in this short podcast, and if you’re ready for more, sign up for his January Parent Group talk. Whether you’re a parent, educator, or professional supporting youth with ADHD or executive dysfunction, you’ll gain valuable insights into:✅ Why technology’s reward loops make sustained attention harder✅ How reinforcement patterns shape motivation and focus✅ What’s happening in the teen brain — and how development impacts executive functioning✅ Strategies for helping teens build stronger long-term planning and attention skills🧠 Key Takeaways:* Technology’s design encourages short-term gratification* The frontal lobe — responsible for planning and focus — continues to mature through the mid-20s* Those with ADHD face added challenges but also unique opportunities to learn self-regulation strategies* Understanding brain development helps us guide kids toward balance and better habits💡 Resources from Sean:* How to P.I.N.G. Your Teachers* What Are Executive Functioning Skills?* What to Expect from Your Student with ADHD This Semester (and How to Support Them)* Visible Learning for Teachers by John Hattie (Amazon)* Learn about Adele Diamond Join us for this engaging discussion — and learn how to help your teen strengthen focus and balance in a world full of distractions. Don’t forget to sign up to hear his ADHDKC Parent Group talk, “Creating a Blueprint for a Successful Semester for High School Students” to learn even more!* When: Tuesday, January 13th, 2026 at 6:30 PM CST* Cost: Free * Who: Parents and Educators* Online via ZoomDo you know someone who would benefit from this information? This post is public, so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

If you missed our October Parent Group meeting, you’ll definitely want to catch this replay! In this insightful conversation, Dr. Caroline Danda shares practical strategies to help parents better understand and support their children with ADHD.Dr. Danda explains that ADHD is often a regulation challenge rather than just an attention problem, and she offers clear, compassionate advice for preventing meltdowns, managing transitions, and fostering independence. You’ll learn how to use co-regulation, thoughtful communication, and visual supports to create a calmer, more connected home environment.✨ Key takeaways include:* Recognize and manage triggers to prevent meltdowns* Use co-regulation to help kids regain balance* Preview transitions and create stopping points* Encourage independence through routines and consistency🎥 Don’t miss the full conversation — it’s filled with real-life examples and actionable tools you can start using today! You’ll see a banner of ADHDKC gear at one point — that’s to hide faces when attendees are shown to protect privacy. If you're interested in getting some cool ADHDKC merch, find what you’re looking for in our Store. Every time you wear your ADHDKC hat or shirt, sip from your water bottle, jot notes in your branded notebook, or sport that sticker on your car—you’re doing more than showing spirit. You’re sending a quiet but powerful signal: You’re not alone.Someone walking by might be struggling with ADHD and not know where to turn. Your gear could be the spark that leads them to our community, our resources, and maybe even a little hope. So rock that swag proudly — it’s advocacy in action, and it might just change someone’s day. Did you find this helpful? Share with other parents who you think could use these tips too!No Parent Group Event in November Due to the 2025 International ADHD ConferenceAre you going to the International ADHD Conference?Get on the app to start “meeting” people now!The International Conference on ADHD brings together the best minds in current research and treatment options and professionals offering best practice guidelines for their fields. The conference will offer dynamic sessions and events featuring practical support and guidance for adults and families.Once you register, you’ll be invited to download the app, which is where you can select the sessions you want to attend, see slides, and connect with others. There’s already a great conversation going on about special interest meet-ups (rock-climbing, anyone?). As a local, you can help those with questions about KC. Early-Bird Registration is OPEN now! CHADD members will receive a discount, so join CHADD today and designate ADHDKC as your local chapter. Register at CHADD.org/Membership. Be sure to name ADHDKC as your chapter to help support us!📣 Volunteers Wanted: Join Us at ADHD2025!We’re excited to invite dedicated and passionate individuals to serve as volunteers for the 2025 International Conference on ADHD, November 13–15 in Kansas City, MO. Volunteers are essential to making the event a warm, welcoming, and smoothly run experience for all attendees.Why Volunteer?* Play a vital role in conference operations (e.g. registration, wayfinding, conference-ambassador duties, staffing the bookstore)* Receive a financial incentive if you serve in certain on-site roles (such as bookstore staffing or ambassador duties)* Connect with speakers, attendees, and fellow volunteers in a meaningful and community-building way* Gain behind-the-scenes insight into how an international conference is staged and runImportant Volunteer Requirements & Details* You must be registered for ADHD2025 to volunteer.* Opportunities are limited and on-site only.* All volunteers must sign a Volunteer Agreement Form.* For questions or concerns, reach out to [email protected] you’re ready to help make ADHD2025 an outstanding experience for all, please submit a volunteer form (with your name, contact details, and interest) through the conference site. We deeply appreciate your willingness to help and look forward to working together to Connect, Learn & Thrive at this year’s gathering.🌎 Looking for more ADHD events?CHADD now has a National Event Calendar where chapters across the country post their online events — and everyone is welcome to join!👉 Explore upcoming programs, talks, and support opportunities here: CHADD National Event Calendar This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

You won’t want to miss the newest episode of ADHD KC Conversations! Co-hosts Kristen Stuppy and Sara Whelan sit down with Dr. Caroline Danda, a licensed psychologist with over 20 years of experience supporting children, teens, and families.Together, they explore the challenges and joys of parenting kids with ADHD, with a special focus on self-care for parents, emotional regulation in children, and practical strategies to reduce conflict at home.Dr. Danda emphasizes the importance of having patient, supportive adults in a child’s life—and how small daily shifts can make a big difference.Watch here or listen on your favorite podcast player!Key Takeaways* Self-care is crucial for parents managing ADHD challenges.* Emotion regulation is often overlooked in ADHD diagnoses.* Parenting is a long-term journey requiring patience.* Modeling emotional regulation helps children learn.* Celebrate wins and focus on the positives.* Consistency matters — even though strategies won’t work every time.* Create pauses in the day for both parents and kids.* Pay attention to children’s needs after school or activities.* Supportive adults help build resilience in kids.🌟 Don’t Miss Dr. Danda’s Upcoming Talk!Dr. Danda will be joining the ADHDKC Parent Group in October:Front-End Strategies to Avoid Power Struggles and Meltdowns🗓️ Date: Tuesday, October 14🕡 Time: 6:30 PM Central Time🌐 Location: Online via Zoom🎟️ Cost: Free This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

We know the back-to-school season is a busy time for parents, so we’re taking August off from our Parent Group events. We’ll be back in September with a fantastic speaker you won’t want to miss — Dr. Nerissa Bauer, a behavioral pediatrician and ADHD educator who is transforming the way families understand and approach ADHD.We’re so excited to introduce you to Dr. Bauer in our latest episode of ADHD KC Conversations! In this episode, hosts Kristen Stuppy, Lauren Dreher, and Sara Whelan sit down with Dr. Bauer. Dr. Bauer opens up about her journey into behavioral pediatrics and how it led her to create the engaging TEACH Me ADHD program. She shares powerful insights into the importance of family involvement in ADHD education, the gaps that still exist — especially for girls and teens — and what parents can do to better support their children. She’ll talk even more about this at the September ADHDKC Parent Group Event.If you have a child who struggles and you’re considering ADHD as a diagnosis, think you yourself may have ADHD but have never been diagnosed, or you or your family member have been struggling with low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression and treatments aren’t working — this upcoming Parent Group Event is just for you! Dr. Bauer will present Anxiety and ADHD in Girls: Tips on Earlier Identification and Empowerment.Whether you’re new to ADHD or have been navigating it for years, this conversation is filled with encouragement, practical takeaways, and a sense of hope. You’ll get to know Dr. Bauer before her main talk in September. She also shared that she’ll be speaking at the International ADHD Conference in November. If you haven’t gotten your ticket yet, Super-Early-Bird Pricing ends soon so get your ticket!🎧 Listen now and be inspired!Find Dr. Bauer OnlineTEACH Me ADHD InformationFacebook: @LetsTalkKidsHealthInstagram: @letstalkkidshealth ADHD Mom Docs Podcast - Dr Nerissa Bauer and Dr Jennifer DiltsYouTube: NerissaBauerMDChapters00:00 Introduction to ADHD KC Conversations01:57 Dr. Nerissa Bauer's Journey in Behavioral Pediatrics03:22 Overview of TEACH Me ADHD Program09:00 Feedback and Impact of TEACH Me ADHD11:44 Identifying Gaps in ADHD Support16:28 Importance of Early Identification in Girls and Teens21:05 Encouragement for Parents Facing Overwhelm23:49 ADHDKC Conversations Podcast Nerissa Bauer outro.mp4 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

Did you miss our recent ADHDKC talk but want to learn what to do if appetite suppression, sleep problems, or other medication side effects are complicating ADHD treatment? Don’t worry — we’ve got you covered! The full recording of "Managing ADHD Medication Side Effects" is now available to watch on demand or to listen on Spotify.In this informative session, ADHDKC’s own Dr. Kristen Stuppy discusses how to recognize, prevent, and manage the most common side effects of ADHD medications — including appetite changes, sleep problems, emotional shifts, and more. Whether your child has just started medication or you’ve been navigating treatment for years, this talk offers practical guidance and reassurance.🧠✨ You’ll learn:* A general overview of the medications used to treat ADHD* What to expect when starting or changing ADHD meds* Tips to manage appetite suppression, trouble sleeping, moodiness, and more* Risks of not treating ADHD adequately* What to discuss with your prescriber In the talk, Dr Stuppy encourages everyone to listen to Mind Tricks to Improve Focus and Calm Your Brain to learn more about mindfulness.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage00:16 Understanding ADHD and Its Treatment12:56 Exploring Medications Used for ADHD20:24 Navigating Appetite Changes25:36 Sleep Challenges and Solutions for ADHD26:03 Side Effects and Management Strategies34:31 The Role of Melatonin and Relaxation Techniques41:21 Managing Mood Changes and Emotional Regulation50:05 The Risks of Untreated ADHD and Medication MisuseComing Soon!👉 As always, our events are completely FREE and open to everyone who wants to learn, connect, and grow with us. Up next for our Parent Group: mark your calendars for September, when the incredible Dr. Nerissa Bauer will be leading a powerful session on Anxiety and ADHD in girls — you won't want to miss it!💬 Plus, all of our groups have a variety of engaging topics coming your way! Take a peek at the image below for all the details, and don't forget to keep an eye on our event page... there’s always something exciting on the horizon! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

Did you miss our June ADHDKC Parent Group talk? You're in luck—the recording and full transcript are now available!In this insightful session, Bronwyn Foley explores how fears, bedtime resistance, and nightmares can overwhelm children with ADHD — and what you can do to help.🎤 Bronwyn walks parents through:* Why ADHD brains are more prone to nighttime fears and anxiety* How co-regulation leads to self-regulation over time* What not to say during a nighttime meltdown* Gentle strategies to build your child's emotional safety* How to help your child feel more confident and in controlWhether your child resists bedtime, fears the dark, or wakes up from nightmares, this talk offers practical tools and compassionate insights to help your family rest easier.🔗 Watch the recording above and access the transcript below. 🎧You can also play this in your favorite podcast player — look for ADHD KC Conversations or find the link above.Don’t forget to share with other caregivers who could use some nighttime support!Resources mentioned in this talkADHD 2.0 by Drs Ned Hallowell and John RateyAttention MagazineChapters * 00:00 The Role of Imagination in ADHD * 00:20 ADHD Coaching and Community Engagement * 10:33 Understanding the ADHD Brain * 13:26 The Importance of Sleep in ADHD * 20:57 Creating a Sleep-Friendly Environment * 24:14 Daytime Engagement and Physical Activity * 27:01 Co-Regulation and Emotional Support * 32:52 Self-Regulation Strategies for ADHD * 35:40 Bedtime Routines and Positive Reinforcement * 41:09 Navigating Fears and Imagination at Night * 43:56 Parenting Strategies for Sleep ChallengesTranscriptThis is AI generated - please excuse the errors!Sara Whelan (00:05)Hello everyone. Welcome. We're so glad you could join us tonight. I'm Sara Whelan and I am the parent group coordinator, a volunteer for AHDKC and I'm excited to get this talk going tonight. Before I introduce our speaker, just a few housekeeping notes. A reminder that our chapter ADHDKC is a CHADD chapter. And we wanted you to know that if you are in the KC area and would like to have a chance to win a one year CHADD membership, go ahead and put your name and your email in our chat box andyou, we will pick. And if you win that and you also want to come to, as we're showing here, plugging our international conference that just so happens to be coming to Kansas City in November. If you are a CHADD member, you get a discount on that as well. We're very excited to have this event so close here to home and we'd love to have you join us.Let's see. We've been around for a while. And in case you, if this is the first time joining, this is the parent group, but we also have a teen group, a women's group, a general adults group, lots of different ways to get resources and join, all very popular and they're all on our website. And you just RSVP sign up -- some of them are in person and some are online.Alright, well, let me switch slides here. Bronwyn, would you like me to share your slides or do you want to? Okay, I will.Bronwyn Foley (01:53)Thank Here we go. All right. So hello, everyone. Thank you so much for joining. It's my pleasure to be here. I'm so honored to be included in your community. My name is Bronwyn Foley, and I am an ADHD coach out of Naperville, Illinois. Six hours north.Sara Whelan (01:56)AllSo.And I haveBronwyn Foley (02:19)been given this opportunity to talk about this unique topic. It has really been an honor and a privilege to think it through even further because I've worked on this with my clients and my own children.Sara Whelan (02:33)andBronwyn Foley (02:34)It has so much potential for understanding the ADHD brain, developing inner resources to capitalize on the potential of the brain. So bedtime resistance, fears and nightmares before you even close your eyes. That's a thing for a lot of ADHD kiddos and for some adults actually too. That was the other reason that I was so inspired recently as I was seeing this through line of...Sara Whelan (02:39)and resources.Bronwyn Foley (03:02)adults talking about how there's like bedtime resistance, there is this things don't seem to be going well. Things go dark and that brain just runs ahead and starts creating these stories. And it can be challenging to silence that or to discern reality from those stories. So I open with this quote.Speaker 3 (03:16)channel.Sara Whelan (03:24)IBronwyn Foley (03:27)from Dr. Barbara Tversky. I probably should have opened with Dr. Barbara Tversky. She's a professor at Stanford who wrote a book called Mind in Motion. And she has her nine laws of cognition that I have up here on my bulletin board. And one of them is when thought overflows the mind, the mind puts it in the world. And in my estimation, this is, this was not written for ADHD, but in my estimation, this is such a beautiful depiction of how what is imaginedSara Whelan (03:43)overBronwyn Foley (03:56)can take on the salience of something that's real, which is what kids are dealing with when they are so scared to go to.Sara Whelan (04:07)Okay.Bronwyn Foley (04:08)So quick introduction, coach for five years. You know I'm in Naperville. I work with ADHD impacted families, business leaders. I do love those entrepreneurs. So fun. I'm credentialed by the International Coaching Federation and by the ADD Coach Academy. I'm also adult and youth Colby certified. So I integrate strengths very tightly into my practice.I have a positive psychology specialization and I have a Merit Institute self-reg certification. Also, I have an organization leadership masters and a BA in theater. I am a mom, so I may know something about this firsthand. have a 13 year old boy and a 16 year old girl. All right, so why this topic? Well, it's prevalent. It has come up quite a bit with my clients.It seemed worthy of attention. I wasn't seeing a lot around this topic specifically, but it's very disruptive to families when sleep is disruptive. So, and the intensity of emotion that can come out of a child to a parent over this topic can be startling for a parent. Sleep is a prevalent ADHD issue.Sara Whelan (05:05)And I'm.yeah.Bronwyn Foley (05:32)10 to 15 % of little kids, this is twice their typical, so have trouble getting to sleep. And by puberty, which is really where I see this hitting the most, around 12 and a half, 50 % of kids have difficulty falling asleep. This is not a monolith, not all the kids do. Some of them, their heads hit the pillow and they're out. But a lot of them have real struggles. Now, I polled one of my mentors and friends as Dr. Bill Dodson.Sara Whelan (05:38)And.in.Bronwyn Foley (06:01)And he wrote an article for Attitude about why ADHDers are so tired all the time. Again, we're not always so tired all the time, but a lot of us are. And sleep was not included in DSM criteria.Sara Whelan (06:14)quite a while.Bronwyn Foley (06:15)because the DSM [4] required that all ADHD symptoms be present at the time someone was 7.Sara Whelan (06:20) seven.However, as weBronwyn Foley (06:24)see here, a lot of these symptoms kick off in puberty. So it would be overlooked. Also, the DSM is very committed to keeping things in tidy categories. I think of it as like a giant Excel spreadsheet. If it doesn't fit in the cell, then it's not going to make it to the DSM. And we all know emotional dysregulation is challenging for ADHDers, but for some reason, it just hasn't madeSara Whelan (06:47)to the DSM. ⁓Bronwyn Foley (06:49)Solargely sleep for the history of this has been seen as separate from ADHD, not just an expression of the ADHD brain. I'm gonna do a quick review of the ADHD brain, because context is so important, I want you to know where I'm coming from. This is really very quickly, broadly how I work. I have pulled from ADHD 2.0 and other resources.Sara Whelan (06:54)Brett.Bronwyn Foley (07:18)But ADHD 2.0 is one I can direct you to, Dr. Ned Hallowell and John Rady's book about the current state of ADHD thought and research. And what has been determined is that ADHDers, unlike neurotypicals, have more neural energy active at any given moment. So here's the deal. These two networks, brain networks that are implicated,Task positive network is the network that identifies the tasks, decides it's important, initiates, gets it done, finishes the task, moves on. The default mode network is where a neurotypical, when they're done with the tasks, they don't have anything to do. You sit back into your relaxed state, your brain basically, your energy goes back to what's known as your default mode network or your conceptual brain, your imaginative state.Sara Whelan (08:13)MyBronwyn Foley (08:13)for the purposes, or we will for the purposes of this conversation. We're call it the imagination because we're talking about kids. And it's an easy thing for kids to perceive and understand. And it is also the seed of the imagination amongst many other things that it does. Neuro-typicals, they're asynchronous networks.with ADHDers, it's been noticed that they're on together. So what we have are networks that are synchronous but are not necessarily synchronized. Does this make sense so far? If there are any questions, just throw them in the chat and we can talk about it. What this means that there's sort of a rivalry for our limited attention, and I'm going to say limited attention, I just want to be clear. Everyone's attention is limited. We only have 100 % of our own attention.Sara Whelan (09:03)limited.youBronwyn Foley (09:07)And with an ADHDer, when you are going through your day with these active networks, both trying to engage your attention, both trying to engage in your day, it can be baffling for the ADHD person, particularly the ADHD child. It's this sort of push and pull between the internal state and the external state.Reality is created externally and then we include our internal information. But if you have your imagination active all the time.Sara Whelan (09:46)It might.Bronwyn Foley (09:47)your attention to an internal story about what's going on out here and it may not be accurate.Sara Whelan (09:54)So.Bronwyn Foley (09:55)If thenetworks are on, they're looking for engagement in your day. And sometimes it will be at the expense of the owner of the brain. DMN can be very demanding. In fact, there are studies that show that kids with ADHD can have some hyperconnectivity in their default mode. Now this is seen as a problem, but I mean, it's the reality and so the lessons that they needSara Whelan (10:14)work.Bronwyn Foley (10:22)for engagement are going to be different than the lessons that a neurotypical kid needs. So here's the thing. The imagination is active and it wants to be involved in the day.Sara Whelan (10:33)But it's not.Bronwyn Foley (10:33)necessarilycalled upon to do very much.Sara Whelan (10:36)throughout the day.Bronwyn Foley (10:38)It is what we will sometimes refer to as stimulus star. It's looking for engagement. And that work done. So the question might be who's in charge? The imagination or the owner of the brain? Sometimes it can feel to the owner of the brain that they're being dragged around by their imagination versus them being the one who's setting the setting theSara Whelan (10:45)for what that is.Bronwyn Foley (11:04)The plan.Sara Whelan (11:05)So.Bronwyn Foley (11:07)They're running two networks, a single network. Dr. Dawson has observed that HG brains reject secondary importance a lot of the time. And we actually live in a world that is, with second. Someone tells you what to do. Teacher tells the child what to do. They tell them when to do it. They tell them how to do it and tell them when to turn it in.Sara Whelan (11:15)It is.complete, and very important.theAndBronwyn Foley (11:37)theADHD brain, this default mode network will reject.Sara Whelan (11:41)often.Bronwyn Foley (11:42)It willbe mystery to the brain owner. To keep this in mind, it looks like this willful misbehavior. But honestly, it's the owner of the brain receiving a message that this is not salient enough for my attention and energy, this thing that's being given me. First is unneurotypical. The lights are dark in their imagination.You hand them the worksheet, they do the worksheet. Because that's what they've been told is important and they will receive that importance. Look at the things that seem to fire up ADHD-er. Purpose, novelty, interest, urgency, competition. I get a lot of adults into my Zoom room who are just exhausted at living with urgency. They need other ways to live. A lot of kids. I've had a kiddo.who wanted to hold off on a book report until the last study hall of Friday when it was due and run it down the hall to his teacher just as she was leaving. And the parents were baffled. And I said, I think I know what he's doing. He's creating salience. His brain is saying, okay, I'll give you attention and energy for that because it has become urgent now. So the brain willoffer him what he needs to get it done. Okay, so this is a core feature. The ADHD, sleep is a core feature. Difficulties with sleep is a sign or a core feature of ADHD. This nervous system doesn't stop. It's 24-7. It's all the time.Sara Whelan (13:17)D.Bronwyn Foley (13:26)It doesn't turn off at night, and that's why we have to look at sleep as being, sleep challenges as being symptomatic or potentially symptomatic of ADHD. In coaching, we recognize the impact of transitions. So transitions are we're doing one thing, and now I'm gonna shift over and do this other thing. So if you have a list of steps,Sara Whelan (13:45)andBronwyn Foley (13:52)go from the one thing to the next thing to the next thing and be able to transition in a timely manner. And sometimes this guy does not want to. So it can be very. Set shift. That shift is a little bigger. Let's back up. Set shifting is. Well, we're watching TV. And now it's time to turn off the TV and go up to bed.Sara Whelan (13:58)anddo that.Bronwyn Foley (14:22)That is a major shift in attention or I mean what am I talking about? I'm like aging myself because I was born in the previous century or we're playing a video game and it's time to turn off and do something else. You have to shift your attention and that for an ADHD or once their attention is once this guy is finally engaged you tell them you have to disengage.It can feel very challenging. Difficulty down regulating on demand. So on demand from someone else, from a parent, from another person who wants to give direction. can be hard for an ADHD or to independently down regulate just because someone tells them they should. So the sun goes down. Now all day long.Sara Whelan (15:02)from an.Bronwyn Foley (15:19)The task positive network has gotten more attention than the default one. I mean, the task positive network has, you're able to, the ADHD kids are able to turn their attention out to the world around. Especially if we have a recurring bedtime fear. Something that makes a kiddo break out in hives. Something that makes a kiddo want to park themselves in their parents' room.Sara Whelan (15:45)floor.Bronwyn Foley (15:47)just different things that will come up with kids at night. Because here's the thing, the sun goes down, the ADHD brain seems to light up. Now I'm an ADHD person, I'm a mother of two with a business of my own, so those days are actually physically over for me. But I do relate to this when I was younger, that this was a thing. And I notice it in my clients and a lot of my adult clients too, that they...The sun goes down and suddenly they get this burst of energy.that's about but what I can say is that that the fears that are manifested before bedtime suddenly that default mode network doesn't have as many distractions and it can race forward and start to deliver that fear or that remember that stimulus star brain that guy who just wants something to do all the time well guess whatSara Whelan (16:23)Yes.Bronwyn Foley (16:50)There's no classroom, no teachers, you're alone in your room. It's his turn and he, this brain is looking for stimulus and without leadership, it may resist down regulating. It's a stimulus hungry imagination as runs away with your child's attention. Barbara Luther is the one of the founders of the ADD Coach Academy and she and I were recently talking about this topic. And I said, I feel like,Some of my clients, their brains are really almost tormenting them. And she said, well, yes, because the brain wants what it wants, and it wants stimulus.And if it doesn't have leadership or metacognitive direction, it's going to drag your little one around, potentially. All right. But before we get going on ADHD and how we're going to tackle that and help that brain get some direction and some adaptive stimulus, let's do a basic sleep inventory and uncover possible co-occurring challenges. For instance,Sleep apnea. Kids with tonsils or adenoids. I was an inattentive child and then when I was six, I had to get my adenoids out because I was having sleep apnea as a little one. There is something truly to this. GERD, if they have reflux that can keep the kid up and if it keeps the kid up, they can't down regulate and settle.Low ferritin. Low ferritin is positively correlated with ADHD, low iron. It can also be a source of restless leg syndrome. ADHD meds. There are some say if they are dosed correctly, they shouldn't keep you up. There are some who say that's not the case. You should be careful about meds. I will say this.Sometimes folks will give Benadryl to kids to help them sleep. We don't want to do that. Yes, Sara, I agree. We don't want to do that because Benadryl is an acetylcholine blocker. Acetylcholine is what helps you make long-term memories. We don't want to introduce Benadryl. We want to avoid those over-the-counter corrections.There is some talk about melatonin, like Attitude just did a podcast where this woman from Europe was talking about melatonin. Melatonin is regulated in Europe. It's not regulated here in the US. So when you buy melatonin over the counter, whatever amount it says, it's sort of like cross your fingers that that's actually what it is. Kristen, you know about this, right? I mean, you're a physician, so.But some folks will say because there's something called DSPS or delayed sleep phase syndrome, that it's not a bad idea to give the tiniest amount of melatonin, this is going to be a judgment call as a family, to help the brain make the journey into deep sleep because your pineal gland actually releases endogenous melatonin.But some folks suggest that additional melatonin is needed. However, I'm going to get to why I am suspicious of that in a slide. Chronic pain. A lot of ADHDers grind their teeth. Maybe a tooth cart is needed. And congestion. It's really dry sometimes in different rooms. And that kind of congestion can lead to sleep apnea. That's almost like your adenoids. So a humidifier, these basic things can be really helpful.If you set the stage though, you set the stage for preparing for this transition and the set shift into transition into bedtime routine and the set shift into the sleep block of the day.There are some logistics that I strongly endorse as a coach. And one is absolutely no screens in the bedroom. So when folks tell me they have computers in their kids' rooms, they can do whatever they want, obviously, but I heartily endorse getting that computer out of the child's room. We want to have a room with low distractions.that is for sleeping, is soothing, that is for rest. The pull of video games and social media is so strong and it's designed to be strong. So I offer that our kids will always lose if they are faced with the decision around those, especially if they're alone at night, around those stimulus.No electronics an hour before bedtime. Here's the thing about melatonin. We all within our natural sleep-wake cycle, we have our melatonin release and it helps let us know we're going to go to sleep. But blue light breaks down melatonin. So it destroys your natural melatonin. So no screens an hour before bedtime. Collect cell phones. You too, you have to stay off your cell phone as well. But that's okay because that's good for you.And also cool temperatures. I can't tell you how many families have told me well my child's room is the warmest room in the house No, no, don't want that at all. If your child's having trouble sleeping you want it to be 67 or 68 degrees It needs to be cold because the body temperature goes down two to three degrees as we move into deep sleep No, need two hours before bed. This is idiosyncratic. Some people want to have warm milk or banana Supposedly those help you sleep that's up to you, but I just the two hours before bed actually minimumactually helps your whole body downregulate. It gives you your liver a rest. gives you, yes, exactly, thank you, Leigh. And shower or bath before bed, really helpful, because they're warm. They bring your body temperature down, and it can be part of a soothing routine. Clear bedtime steps. So what is required for bedtime, and what can you call it?Like in my house, I say steps because we call it steps. It's time for steps. Let's go. And everyone knows that is three things that they have to do for steps. You've got to start this process one hour before it lights out at least. Here's the thing. End of day. I've noticed this. End of day. A lot of moms, especially right around nine or nine thirty, it's like a witching hour. It's the time when we're tired.where our regulation energy is quite depleted and we would like them to just parent themselves to bed please. Unfortunately, that might not happen. However, what I can offer you at the conclusion of this talk is a soothing routine that might be great for you too. So quickly though, let's touch on daytime engagement. Physical activity is non-negotiable.with ADHD. So if I'm interviewing an adult for my practice and we're talking about like what I believe and I let that slip, you should do cardio activity 30 to 45 minutes a day. I know I'm never going to see them again because many people just don't want to hear that. But it's true because this is how you activate the dopamine system. You can have a four to six hour medication like benefit and also it wears out their bodies.Your kids, need to move. They spend so much time regulating in a chair all day. And it's like anti-childhood. So any movement is good as long as you're getting it. Nutrition. You know, it's so funny that I say 80 % of the food in grocery stores isn't real food. I agree. But here's the thing. Before all that food arrived, we lived off the 20%. You literally don't need processed food.There are so many healthy options out there for us, limited as much as possible, and definitely only natural sugars in fruits. It's summer, it's fruit season. Avoid concentrated sugar as much as possible, maybe once a week treat. But this is important for ADHD because of the way the nervous system is wired. It's very sensitive, and these invisible internal stressors can really impact the ADHD person.Sunlight, outdoor time, it sets your circadian rhythm. Did you know that the photons that you receive in your eyes before 10 a.m. are different than those you receive after 10 a.m.? And they all relate to your biological clock. Isn't that crazy? And right around sunset, the sun senses different signals. And our biological clock actually sets itself according to that. Take a walk after dinner together. It's a great way to level out yourblood sugar to be together and to get that great light into your eyes and that message into your brain that it is time to start thinking about going to sleep. Screen time, no surprise. I don't like screen time. I already shared that, but I know it's a part of life. Don't get me wrong. Don't think my kids are like, we don't have screens. They have screens. And it's an ongoing negotiation, collaboration and struggle. Family screen time policy is good idea.So you set out what you believe in most screens, why you believe it, and what you're going to do about it, what you're aiming for as a family. Vitamin C, Dr. Halliburton refers to connection. We're going to talk about this further with co-regulation. But connection, connection, connection. Connection to you helps your kid protect themselves from the scary stories that their default mode network is telling them. If you're there as their source of reality, you are a relief to them.Okay, so hang on. What's going on here? So what's the opportunity? I'm a coach. I'm always into opportunities and strengths and what can we discover? This is so beautiful because if your kids are afraid to go to bed because they're afraid of something, robbers are a big one in this age group. And you know what? Some of these things are like, they're ridiculous. people, there are such things as robbers. They didn't make them up. But the likelihood islow, let's say, and not worthy of them not going to bed. So they're having intense, intense feelings about something and they're bringing you those feelings. And the beauty of it is what they're afraid of is fundamentally not real. I really could not ask for a better example of the inner struggle of an ADHD person. They have created this story.the default mode network has created the story, it's gotten its stimulus at the expense of your little person. And it is hard for them to distinguish the fact that these strong feelings don't reflect reality. But they don't. And becoming a canny observer of that can be very helpful.I'm going to tell a quick personal story. So personal story alert because I'm very suspicious when people like me share personal stories. I to think it means we're out of gas, but this is actually relevant. My daughter who's had some bedtime challenges said to me the other day, I can't even remember what I was she was scared of something scared her. And she said to me,I was suddenly scared of this and it kept me up for a little bit and I just overtook me and I said, congratulations for not waking me up over that. That is not happening. Her feelings are real. I embrace her and I understand that these are thoughts that have more freedom and agency to pop up in the dark of night. ButSara Whelan (28:53)Yes.Bronwyn Foley (29:08)They're not real. The things, the sources are not real. And we can connect about that and work through strategies. Bedtime is such a safe opportunity to witness an experience with the pull of this internal state. is like a crucible of self-management for us. So self-reg is the first stop. Okay, yes, this is me with my son who turned 13 last week.I couldn't help it. I thought this is a good self-reg picture, even though it's not night. Obviously I'm not trying to put him to sleep. Okay, self-reg is taught through co-regulation.So it's like they're offering you this experience they're having and they need your help contextualizing it. They are sincerely scared and yet it's not based in anything real. So here's your mature brain.With their immature brain, Harvard researchers developed this idea of the interbrain that develops. It's this hookup, this nervous system hookup between parent and child, friend to friend, whatever the case may be. And it's the foundation of self-regulation. So you are the mature bearing when they come to you with their struggles. And as their co-regulator, they're asking you to help them understand what's going on.I mean, they're not literally asking you, but that's the content of what that invitation truly is. So remembering that children develop ideas about themselves through your eyes and also through your words. So part of co-regulation is, this is hard for parents, is not getting caught up in the intensity of their emotions because you are linked.What they need from you is your calm, your love, your warmth, your contact, if they receive contact, your humor, and your belief in them that you know they are not gonna be overcome by their own imagination.Sara Whelan (31:20)So.Bronwyn Foley (31:21)Stop and look at self-reg for a minute. Self-reg is the exploration of the nervous system's experience of stress and its recovery. And we're experiencing stress all day, distress, and eustress. And it burns energy. And then we have to restore. Self-reg is a dynamic process. And it's not about control. Control burns energy.Self-reg is a process, it's perfect, it's nested in coaching, because it's about curiosity and inquiry. And it's based in the idea that we are differentiating between stress behavior and misbehavior. Your child who is having these intense feelings because of these fears is experiencing stress behavior.and they need your assistance to reframe the behavior, recognize the stressors, reduce the stress, reflect to enhance stress awareness and to restore. Those are the five steps of self-reg that are ongoing throughout our lives to varying degrees with varying levels of awareness. So one of the most important is restoration.This is one of the biggest that I bring to families is the idea that you have a stressful event and then we can restore through our co-regulation.we can restore using this power. All right, so big feelings. I feel strongly. Every one of my clients could do an autobiography and they could name it, I feel strongly because we do feel strongly. And you know what? That can be a beautiful thing. It can be wonderful to feel strongly and have laughter and joy and have that kind of vivid experience. And for every benefit, there's a cost that's from Dr. Dversky as well.So we have to be mindful of our capacities. So tears, quick reminder, even if your baby comes to you in tears, we can remind ourselves that tears are one of the ways the body relieves stress. Tears are not the hurt itself, tears are healing from the hurt. Stay close and project calm. So we can receive their stories.We can witness it back and repeat it so they know that they're heard and seen. And then we can offer to contextualize stories. I mean, I'm sure you're already thinking you could use this in more than just bedtime. This is broadly a way to engage an ADHD kiddo. But you remember that your child is slammed with intense feelings and needs your mature brain to love them while you help them understand.exactly how much of their attention they should give to those feelings because when we give attention to things we imbue that with the power of reality and there are no monsters under the bed so all rightparent leadership. I do keep emphasizing this because I have seen parents be overcome by their kids' feelings.And for good reason, because they love their kids. You can see I had fun with chat GPT. That's another great thing I got out of this talk. I learned how to use chat GPT. So we're going to receive these big feelings with attention and compassion. We will question the source of fears, calm and clear boundaries. And we can talk to them about the difference between imagination and reality. You have a brilliant imagination, but I think...It's running away with you.So emphasizing again that it feels real to them even though it's not. So what's a supportive reality? Okay, so all day they've had their attention out in the world and then night comes and my God, there aren't enough stuffed animals around the bed, whatever the case may be. Continue to invite attention out to external reality. Contact.The first stop for self-reg is physical contact. What a beautiful way to remind the brain that you are not alone with these stories. So cuddles at night, lay on their bed with them, or lay on your beds, you can transition to their bed. But being in close contact is part of the bedtime routine.Which brings me to this. This is three good things, which is a validated adaptive process from the School of Positive Psychology out of the University of Pennsylvania. This is what it says. If we daily, as a family, are, and this is a nighttime thing.It's a nighttime thing also because your older kids will be more available to you at night because their defenses will be lower. If we get together and we all have to share three good things from our day, it helps train attention on all of the positive things in our lives. And it helps pull attention away from those fearsand stories that young brains might be developing. It's very, very, it's sort of defensive too, because it's something they can take with them and remember. So three good things are, mean, my kids and I do this every night, three good things, and they know it. It's gonna happen, we have to do it, we sit on my bed.and it can lead to great conversations, little ad hoc things that happen. So three good things are, I love dinner, my son, he loved dinner, he had a bassoon lesson, and he went on a great bike ride. Three good things in life. My daughter came in and had hers, I have mine. We make sure everyone has had their turn, and then we head to bed for bedtime.A book. Reading time. Either together or alone. But a book is a great way to get the brain onto a different story. In fact, if you can get your kid hooked on a good book, they're excited to read the book. They can't wait to go to bed. But it pulls the brain into a different story. A song. Do you have a song that you sing? True Confessions, My Son Is 13.I sing the same song that I sang to him. was infant. However, he does change it now because he's 13. So he beat boxes and changes the words and he's 13, but it's part of our total routine. Loving mantras.Something that your child can repeat over and over or something you repeat regularly every night to your child. Loving mantra might be, I love you more than anything, you are my treasure, and being your mother is the best thing that ever happened to me. Something to keep their attention on reality. Music, music can be very down regulating.you know, as long as it's the right music. You can insist on reality and set firm boundaries. So my daughter had a series of questions she used to ask me every night. One of them was, is mind control real? And I said, well, if it were real, you wouldn't be asking me this question. So, and she would say, mom, I'm like, no.We're okay, I love you, good night. Firm, firm boundaries. Firm boundaries because you're modeling for them how to set firm boundaries with their own mind. They need your example.All right, so staying connected. Don't be afraid to let them know what's going on. Look, you're awesome. You have a great brain. It's very imaginative and very active and now it needs to go to bed. So we have to be like, be in charge of this brain. Externalize your coach. You can give them examples of when you handle this as a kid. We were all scared at some point. Let them know they're not alone. Receive, receive, receive. Oh my gosh, I hear you.Wow, and no, that's absolutely not possible. That's not true. But I absolutely hear how that's scary for you. So you can set a line between, like I did with my daughter last night, she of course knows, she knew it wasn't real, whatever it was she was afraid of. But I absolutely want to hear it. And I'm absolutely going to be honest about what it is that is actually happening there.Set boundaries, be clear about what needs to happen and why. We all need sleep. What's your narrative around sleep? You must have sleep. What do you share with people or your kids about what's important about sleep? Solve, get their input. How are we going to get your runaway imagination to bed? Because this is getting really silly. And you need to go to bed. Nope, not true. mean, whatever the case is, it'sSara Whelan (41:06)Hmm.Bronwyn Foley (41:09)It's down regular, you staying regulated while they work through their dysregulation. Investigate the root cause. my gosh, I saw a meme. I saw a short TikTok video. This is why I feel so strong about social media. You can see something at 2 p.m. and it comes racing back at nine. Was there something sad? ADHD is very sensitive and interpret things.all sorts of ways when that imagination gets a hold of it. Challenge them, invite them to meet the moment, to be the boss of their own brain and be silly. Help them laugh, help them release tension with giggles. It's just feelings about something that is fundamentally isn't real. There is this thing that I noticed with lot of parents, they wanna be more engaged than perhaps they were when they were kids.Sara Whelan (41:46)How?Bronwyn Foley (42:03)or when their parents were with them, where a lot of growing up in Gen X and some millennials, was the parents had the story and the kids had to just believe the parent's story and that was that. So there's this sort of desire to be there for kids in a different way, in a more collaborative way. But every feeling they bring us is not reflective of reality. What we can do ishelp them pick and choose and investigate those feelings and subsequent stories. All right. Be your child's champion. They really need you to stand up for them. Bedtime is a great opportunity for your child as they experiment with their own self-rag and they're powerful, albeit very hungry. ADHD brain. All right, there you go.Any questions anyone? Let me stop sharing. Hang on y'all. yeah, my content information. If you have any questions, please let me know. All right, hang on. I'm gonna exit and stop sharing.Hang on, did I stop sharing?Okay, good.You can.Sara Whelan (43:25)Thank you very much. As you were talking, just to get people thinking of their questions, so many things you said brings me back to when my kids were young. Try to start bedtime an hour before sleep time. It's not always possible. Sports keep kids on the fields until too late, and then they come back all ramped up. So sometimes it's beyond the control of the parents and the families.Bronwyn Foley (43:56)Hi Sara, what are you gonna say?Sara Whelan (43:58)Just when I, because even as a parent, yeah, we run into that. I'm both of our girls have ADHD too. And, um, so what I try to do is bring, we always try to focus on those non-negotiables even when it's a really late night. And so, you know, already having like the no screens in the room kind of rule and some other things that we're doing that are easy and fast can be really helpful with sleep, even on those nights when it's a really extra late night and we can't do.all the things we'd like to do. I like to think about, we're trying our best and it's not going to always, you know, but even those small things can make a huge difference with sleep. So it's easy to get.Bronwyn Foley (44:38)that I didn't mention dimmers. Dimmers all throughout your house are a really good strategy. And they're actually pretty easy to install. Get dimmers. They're very helpful to down, I mean, true sleep people will put their lamps on the floor. That's what their research shows them. they're like, it's artificial light has really created some unique problems for we humans and some unique opportunities.So dimmers are important and then to your points here, yes, but here's the thing about the sporty kids. When they are exerting themselves physically, as long as you can get their heads to the pillow, they will usually knock out.The kids I'm referring to that I have encountered actually do have in common that they're not as physically active.And it's been a struggle to get them physical. They're more like, you know, they inquire and doing stuff like that. They're not on the lacrosse field. And that isn't for everybody.Sara Whelan (45:40)So.Bronwyn Foley (45:42)I see six comments. Any questions anyone?Sara Whelan (45:47)One of the questions was about magnesium, which I think you saw during the talk.Bronwyn Foley (45:52)I didn't see it, but I didn't talk about it. You would have to talk to your healthcare provider because they don't know for kids. For adults, I take magnesium at night. I don't know about it for kids though.Sara Whelan (46:12)There's a new question. Any tips for a child who refuses to sleep in their own room and insists on sleeping with parents? The age-old question.Bronwyn Foley (46:18)Yes. Anisha, that you? Okay. Well.As a coach, I would start with talking to Kiddo about like how old is your little one? You're muted so I can't hear you.That's okay. Seven, okay, okay. All right, so.So depending, whatever your nighttime routine is, you're down regulating, but you're ready for them to move to their own bed. So,It opens with a conversation for me. It opens for conversation about kiddo, about sleep, about age, about moving into your own bed and how can we make your bed a place you want to be and working with the kiddo to break down the steps to move into their own bed. What's good about being in your own bed. And then there's also setting a clear boundary. You need to be in your own bed.and we are going to work with you any way we can to make it comfortable and a wonderful warm place for you.But at seven, I don't know. I'm guessing you probably have some resistance because there's not as much pressure. The kids that I'm talking about are the preteens who don't wanna be in their parents' right? It's uncool. You wanna be in but you're scared. And your seven is a little different. So...It might get dicey. You might have some tears. You might have some anger. But that isn't them being hurt by you. That's them relieving the stress of a transition.So that's what can get hard, right? When they start crying and you feel terrible and, but that isn't you hurting them. That's them working through the stress of getting into their own bed.How does that sound? Is that helpful?Sara Whelan (48:47)is, I mean, we've tried many times,but there's sort of a last minute sort of panic response. A lot of it is associated with fears. that's me in those moments. It's hard to, you know,Bronwyn Foley (48:53)andSo that kind of gets.So that's it. That's exactly what happens to so many parents of all age, kids of all ages. It gets you, because you don't want to hurt your baby, but you're not hurting your baby. In fact, you're teaching a level of resilience and anti-fragility that will only serve them well, and you're not hurting them. You're just giving them a really cool bed of their own. Yeah. Yes. It's that place for you, for your own regulation.So that might be if you have a parenting partner, talking through strategies with your parenting partner as well, trying to support each other as you move this transition, move into this transition. I mean, that's off the top of my head, but I can think of it. Thank you. You're welcome.Sara Whelan (50:06)I think we have another the same question, but for a four year old. So it's definitely a topic for parents with children of all ages.Bronwyn Foley (50:15)So yeah.It's okay to set a firm boundary because your child is safe. Your child is safe in their own bed. In fact, arguably you're all safer because you're going to get better sleep so you won't be cranky with each other. So figuring out how to set a clear boundary and have a very clear narrative about reality. I had to sleep train my son.Twice, three times actually, because he was so sick when he was a baby. And my narrative to him was the first, I'll say the third time, because he was needed vitamin D, turns out. And we'd been holding him up all night, like until two or three in the morning, and then putting him back, because he couldn't breathe. And he was like two and a half. And he thought that was going to keep going.And of course he got better and we like, this is not going keep going. So I put it, maybe it was a year and a half. I put him in his crib. We had the lights low and I ended up just sitting in a chair next to him while he screamed at me and cried and was hysterical and angry. And I was like, buddy, you're going to go to sleep on your own in your bed. I'm just going to sit here with you right now, but you're going to go to sleep on your own. You're going to be okay.This is your bed. It's a great bed and it's very cozy and you are safe here. Screaming, screaming, screaming. He even asked for water at one point. I'll give him some water. Screaming, screaming, screaming. And then out of nowhere, he just said, and he laid down and went to bed. And that was it. The next night he knew exactly what was going to happen.So I love you, you're safe, this is your bed, it's for you to sleep in and holding the line warmly and compassionately.I mean, you know what, by my story, we had no choice. We were not going to spend his childhood holding him up just because he was crying.Speaker 3 (52:19)I forget it. I'm going toBronwyn Foley (52:21)bed. but it is lovingly and compassionate. And also, I hear that this is kind of scary. But guess what? You're going to be okay. And you are big and strong. And these fears are not going to get the better of you. You're okay. You're going to make you can do this. I believe in you. Believe in them, because they can do it. And they might feel tremendous sense of accomplishment. I hear this is a big challenge.And I know you can do it.It's okay to challenge them. This is such a safe place for them to get an idea that they're awesome.It's so safe for that's my big thing that came up when I was writing this. I was like, God, that's right. Cause I knew there was something I needed out of this topic that I hadn't quite gotten. It's that this is such a safe place to teach kids that they can do these things. They can figure this out.They can be proud of themselves and strong on their own behalf.It's like we don't want our kids to have any bad feelings. But they have to have bad feelings sometimes. But if we're there with them to walk through those bad feelings, then that's the parenting part.Anything else? What time is it? I was talking and I was like, I don't know.Sara Whelan (53:58)We're right, we're two minutes away from an hour. So it's like exactly right on time. Wonderful. Other announcements from you, Kristen, anything that we had a couple of people put in their emails in the chat.Some sent them justto me. So, okay, great. I've acknowledged in some way that I got your name, entered it in.Excellent. Talk about next month. Yes, next month. But first of all, Bronwyn thank you so much. Thank you. And this has been wonderful. I could listen and chat much longer, listen to you. And I'm very excited also because in July, Kristen herself is going to be presentingto our group on July 15th on managing medication side effects. So RSVP join us again, I believe on a Tuesday night, 6.30 central time. So we hope you can join us again.Bronwyn Foley (55:02)All right.Sara Whelan (55:03)Thank you so much.Bronwyn Foley (55:05)me,Bronwyn @ bronwynfoley.com That's my email. Otherwise, it was such a pleasure to be a part of this process. What a great, you guys have such a good chat chapter. You're so lucky. They're amazing. Yeah, indeed. Indeed.Sara Whelan (55:22)did record this, if it's okay with you, can include your contact information in the newsletter with the recording.Bronwyn Foley (55:29)would love it. Thank you. I appreciate that so much. It was great to be here with you all. Have a wonderful rest of your night. Take care.Sara Whelan (55:37)Thank you. Goodbye, everyone. Thank you. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

We’re back with another episode of ADHDKC Conversations, and this one is packed with exciting updates and gives a preview of our July ADHDKC Parent Event!In this special episode, we welcome Sara Whelan, a mom, late-diagnosed ADHD adult, seasoned school psychologist, and now a passionate advocate leading our Parent Support Group. Sara shares her personal ADHD journey, her experience working in schools, and why she’s excited to help other families feel seen, supported, and empowered.Dr. Kristen Stuppy, one of our hosts, also previews her upcoming July 15th parent group talk on managing ADHD medication side effects — an essential discussion for parents navigating the trial-and-error process of treatment, learning how to monitor effectiveness, and knowing when to make changes.Don’t forget the June Parent Group Event!💬 Highlights of this episode of ADHDKC Conversations include:• The emotional journey of parenting (and being) someone with ADHD• Tips for working with schools to support your child• Real talk about ADHD meds: fears, facts, and how to recognize side effects — the “why” behind your need to join the parent group in July • A look ahead to the International Conference on ADHD coming to Kansas City this November! 🎧 Listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts (view this newsletter on a computer for links) 🔗Watch the video above or on YouTube.📅 Register for the July Parent Group Event, “Managing ADHD Medication Side Effects” on Jul 15th from 6:30 PM – 7:30 PM CDT online. Join from anywhere!And don’t forget to enter our ADHDKC T-Shirt Contest — open through the end of the month! Details here: Whether you're newly diagnosed, a veteran parent, or somewhere in between, this episode is a must-listen. Tune in and meet more of your ADHDKC community!Chapters00:00 Introduction to ADHDKC Conversations01:10 Meet Sara Whelan: The New Parent Group Coordinator01:24 Sara's Background and Experience with ADHD02:54 The Journey to Advocacy and Support07:45 Understanding ADHD Medications and Side Effects08:29 Navigating Medication Trials and Adjustments16:46 Recognizing Medication Side Effects in Children22:14 Upcoming ADHD Conference in Kansas City26:22 Local Resources and Support GroupsTranscript is AI-generated. Excuse the errors.I tried to change all the misspellings, but it keeps reverting back, so included in all the name misspellings, we are now known as ADHD Casey! 🤣 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

If you missed our latest ADHDKC Parent Group talk, you're in for a treat! This month's conversation featured Becky Bowe, who shared invaluable insights on supporting children with ADHD, especially in developing executive functioning skills and fostering independence.In this engaging discussion, Becky draws from her experience at Fit Learning to highlight practical tools and techniques that parents and educators can use to help children thrive. Watch the video above to see slides, or listen on Spotify from the link shared on the website view of this newsletter. During her talk, Becky promised resources to those who ask. You can request them here.Topics covered include:✅ Building structured routines to create consistency and stability✅ Using visual supports to aid in task completion and organization✅ Fading assistance gradually to encourage autonomy in kids✅ Managing transitions to reduce meltdowns and improve focus✅ Encouraging motivation through engaging activities and structured support✅ Trial and error in routine-building — starting small for lasting successThis conversation is packed with actionable strategies, from timers and checklists to modeling behaviors, all designed to help kids navigate daily tasks more effectively. Whether you're a parent, caregiver, or educator, you'll walk away with concrete techniques to empower children with ADHD in their learning and everyday life.Give it a listen, and let us know what resonates with you! Follow us on Substack to stay updated on future talks, events, and ADHD resources. If you’re reading this as an email, click on the message to bring you to the online version — you can sign up there!A Quick Heads-Up!We’re experiencing a new technical hiccup this month (there’s always something, right?), and unfortunately, the speaker box is cut off in the video. Sorry about that!While the visuals aren’t perfect, the content is still packed with valuable insights and the slides show in full — so we hope you’ll still find it useful. Thanks for your patience, and we appreciate you tuning in despite the glitch!Comment below on topics you’d like us to cover in upcoming months!Chapters00:00 Introduction to ADHDKC and Fit Learning03:11 Understanding Executive Functioning05:59 Strategies for Supporting Independence09:00 The Three-Step Support Cycle11:59 Building Effective Routines14:53 Visual Supports and Environmental Cues17:54 Creating Structured Learning Environments23:21 Encouraging Independence in Daily Routines28:05 Managing Transitions Effectively32:40 Building Motivation and Engagement37:32 Simplifying Choices for Better Decision-Making41:00 Practicing Structures for Success45:50 Navigating Transitions to New Routines This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

We’re excited to share the latest episode of ADHDKC Conversations, featuring special guest Bronwyn Foley — coach, speaker, and founder of bronwynfoley.com.In this episode, Bronwyn shares her personal journey with ADHD and how it inspired her career helping others unlock their potential. We dive into topics like:✨ Many adults, especially women, discover their ADHD later in life.✨ Understanding one's nervous system is crucial for managing ADHD.✨ ADHD can be seen as a different way of processing rather than a disability.✨ Late diagnosis can provide clarity and understanding of past struggles.✨ ADHD individuals often develop their own coping strategies over time.✨ Strengths associated with ADHD include creativity and risk-taking.✨ Coaching focuses on shifting from negative self-talk to recognizing strengths.✨ ADHDers are excellent problem solvers and can find unique solutions.✨ Self-compassion is essential for those navigating ADHD challenges.Whether you’re newly diagnosed, parenting a child with ADHD, or simply looking for fresh ideas, Bronwyn’s insights will leave you feeling empowered and energized.🎧 Listen now — available wherever you tune in: 🔗 Substack - above 🔗 YouTube 🔗 ADHDKC.org 🔗 SpotifyDon’t miss this uplifting and practical conversation — then join Bronwyn on July 17th at the ADHDKC Parent Group event.Chapters00:00 Introduction to ADHDKC Conversations 01:01 Bronwyn's Journey to ADHD Coaching 03:28 Understanding Adult ADHD Diagnoses 07:55 Pros and Cons of Late Diagnosis 15:01 Strengths and Gratitude in ADHD 18:58 Coaching Strategies for ADHD Clients 21:40 Final Thoughts and Encouragement This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

🎥 Watch Now: Parenting Through the Hotspots with Elaine & DianeIf you missed April’s Parent Group Event, you’re in luck! We have the recording right here for you! Watch the video above or listen on Spotify. In this impactful session, internationally recognized ADHD coaches Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster of ImpactParents dive into the daily transition challenges that create “hotspots” in family life — like mornings, bedtime, screen time, and homework. Through humor, heart, and evidence-based strategies, they help parents of complex kids better understand the root causes of behavioral struggles and offer simple tools to reduce conflict and increase collaboration at home.🛠️ Key takeaways include:* How executive function challenges like working memory, emotional regulation, and time management fuel transitional struggles.* The importance of setting realistic expectations and managing your own reactivity as a parent.* The power of collaboration, motivation, and agency to help kids develop independence over time.* Why kids need buy-in — and how to uncover what truly motivates them.🎁 Free Download: The Top 10 Ways to STOP Meltdowns In Their Tracks 🎁 🎁 BONUS Free Download: 12 Steps of Homework Guide🔗 Additional Resources from Impact Parents Mentioned in the Talk:* Three Steps to Take When Your Kid Says, “I Don’t Know* Helping Kids Navigate an Uncertain Future (podcast #186)* 4 Phases of Parenting: How to Support Without Enabling (podcast #80)* Motivation Myths & the Magic of P.I.N.C.H. (podcast #126)* There are Only 5 Motivators for People with ADHDWhether your child is 3 or 33, this session offers tools you can start using today to reduce stress and create a more peaceful, productive home.Chapters00:00 Introductions01:50 Upcoming Events and Conference Details04:43 Parenting Through Transition Hotspots07:37 Understanding Transition Management09:24 Understanding Executive Function11:49 The Six Key Areas of Executive Function15:29 Managing Transitions and Time18:06 Challenges in Daily Transitions20:48 Emotional and Social Challenges24:34 Breaking the Cycle of Reactivity26:34 Practical Tools for Parents27:58 Navigating Transitions: Setting Expectations29:46 Managing Reactivity: The Parent's Role31:34 Anticipating Challenges: Building Resilience36:24 Collaboration and Independence: A Balanced Approach39:47 Motivation: Understanding and Fostering Buy-In43:36 The Wheel of Life: Assessing Parenting Strategies46:31 Insights and Reflections on Parenting Challenges48:08 Believing in Our Children's Potential49:34 Making Small Tweaks for Big Changes52:24 Building Resilience in Children55:47 Collaborative Problem Solving with Kids58:09 Understanding Teen Motivation and Transitions01:01:06 Identifying Executive Function Challenges01:03:12 Encouragement for Community Engagement This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

🎧 Meet Becky Bowe – ADHDKC’s May Parent Event Speaker!We’re thrilled to introduce Becky Bowe, our featured speaker for the ADHDKC May Parent Event! Before her talk in May, get to know Becky in our latest podcast episode — watch here or listen on Spotify or YouTube.In this episode of ADHDKC Conversations, hosts Kristen Stuppy and Lauren Dreher welcome Becky Bowe, a behavior analyst and director of FIT Learning. They discuss the importance of individualized learning approaches for children with ADHD and other learning differences. Becky shares her journey into education, the role of tutors in supporting learning, and strategies for building independence in children. The conversation highlights the significance of positive reinforcement and the need for parents to teach executive functioning skills. Listeners are invited to Becky's upcoming talk on scaffolding executive function in ADHD kids.Don’t miss Becky’s upcoming talk, "Independence is Built, Not Expected: Scaffolding Executive Function in ADHD Kids," happening virtually on May 13th at 6:30 PM CST.Secure your spot now! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

ADHDKC recently hosted a talk featuring Paula Smith, a retired licensed professional counselor and co-coordinator of ADHD Nashville. Smith discussed the potential impact of environmental factors on ADHD symptoms, sharing her perspective on how food additives, toxins, and technology may influence behavior.Genetics vs. EnvironmentSmith acknowledged that ADHD is primarily a genetic condition but suggested that environmental factors could exacerbate symptoms. She emphasized the role of prenatal influences, including maternal stress, smoking, alcohol use, and exposure to environmental toxins.Food Additives and ADHDSmith discussed the potential impact of artificial food dyes and preservatives, sharing personal anecdotes about her children and grandchildren’s behavioral changes after consuming certain foods. While some studies have linked food dyes to hyperactivity in sensitive individuals, the scientific consensus remains inconclusive. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting ultra-processed foods — many of which contain synthetic dyes — not because of ADHD concerns but due to their high sugar content and low nutritional value.Smith also highlighted concerns about sodium benzoate, a preservative found in many processed foods. While some studies suggest potential risks, experts generally agree that it is safe at regulated levels. Pesticides and Organic FoodSmith expressed concerns about pesticide exposure, citing studies suggesting potential links between pesticides and neurodevelopmental disorders like ADHD and autism. However, the broader scientific consensus maintains that pesticide residues in food, when within government-regulated levels, are safe. Experts emphasize that eating conventional fruits and vegetables is far healthier than avoiding them due to pesticide concerns.Plastics and Chemicals in Everyday ProductsShe also discussed chemicals such as BPA (found in plastics), phthalates, parabens, and PFAS (so-called "forever chemicals"), suggesting that they may influence hormonal balance and neurodevelopment. Some studies indicate potential associations, but more research is needed to confirm direct links to ADHD.Electromagnetic Fields and ADHDSmith addressed concerns about electromagnetic fields (EMFs) from cell phones and Wi-Fi, particularly during pregnancy. Some studies suggest possible effects on fetal development, but the research is inconclusive. The strongest evidence regarding cell phones relates to sleep disruption, which can significantly impact behavior and learning. Limiting screen time, especially before bed, is a well-supported strategy to improve sleep quality, quantity, and benefits.Conclusions and RecommendationsSmith encouraged attendees to make gradual changes, such as choosing whole foods, reducing processed food consumption, and being mindful of environmental exposures. However, she acknowledged the difficulty of eliminating all potential toxins.Important Disclaimers:* Personal Experience vs. Scientific Evidence: Smith’s experiences and observations are personal and not based on conclusive scientific proof. Some of the studies she referenced have conflicting findings.* EU vs. US Food Standards: While the EU takes a more precautionary approach, requiring proof of safety before approving food additives, the US follows a different risk assessment model to make sound and safe recommendations.* Food Dyes: While some studies have suggested an association between food coloring and ADHD, no conclusive evidence has been found to show that food coloring causes ADHD. Foods that contain synthetic dyes are also often high in sugar, such as ultra processed sugary drinks, juices, snacks and candies. These are foods that the American Academy of Pediatrics has long advised parents to limit in kids' diets.* Sodium Benzoate: Sodium benzoate is classified as Generally Recognized As Safe (GRAS), meaning that experts consider it safe when used as intended. It prevents growth of bacteria in foods and personal care items and is used as a preservative. The effects of sodium benzoate on different mental disorders remain unclear — they may be influenced by several factors, including dosage, duration, and the specific animal models used. For more: https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/connections-between-food-additives-and-psychiatric-disorders* Pesticides in Produce: Scientific consensus suggests that regulated pesticide levels are safe. Organically and non-organically foods are similar nutritionally. Your overall diet — how many fruits, vegetables, and whole foods you eat—matters far more than whether they carry an organic label, and with the higher price tag (organic food typically costs 20-100% more than conventionally farmed foods) it is more important to eat a variety of all types of produce than to choose organic foods. Foods grown with both types of farming meet and exceed safety thresholds set by regulatory agencies. Studies have found that even organic foods contain pesticide residues. Washing, peeling, or cooking can further reduce residues, regardless of how the food was grown. * Cell Phones and ADHD: While cell phone use itself can impact sleep, which in turn affects behavior, there is no strong evidence that EMF from cell phones directly causes ADHD or developmental harm in pregnancy.* Think Dirty App: Reviews of this app warn that the rating system is unclear and confusing. While some of the ingredients the app may flag have the potential to be harmful to us, it doesn’t take into account the amount of that ingredient that’s in the product compared to the amount that would actually have the hazardous effects the app claims. It’s the dose that matters.* EWG: The EWG is mentioned in the chat box as a resource, but this group notoriously overstates the health risks of chemicals and incites fear over facts. While the EWG may seem like an unbiased, legitimate organization, but they are largely funded by organic farming. For a detailed review, see https://www.agdaily.com/insights/dirty-deception-ewg-dirty-dozen/. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

Summary: This conversation explores the complexities of disability legislation, particularly focusing on the ADA, Section 504, and IDEA, and how they impact individuals with ADHD. It emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, accommodations, and the need for structure in navigating transitions to independence. The discussion also highlights the significance of building a support network, effective learning strategies, and the process of seeking formal accommodations in educational and workplace settings. Parental guidance during these transitions is also addressed, along with available resources and community engagement opportunities.Takeaways:Understanding the differences between ADA, Section 504, and IDEA is crucial for supporting individuals with disabilities.Self-awareness is the first step in identifying personal challenges and needs.Accommodations can be self-initiated and do not always require formal support.Structure is essential for success, especially during transitions to independence.Building a support network can enhance accountability and motivation.Effective learning strategies can include engaging multiple senses and body doubling.Formal accommodations require proactive communication and documentation of needs.Parents play a vital role in guiding young adults through transitions to independence.Community colleges and public libraries offer valuable resources for support and learning.Trust and adaptability are key components in navigating challenges and changes.Chapters00:00Understanding Disability Laws and Their Implications03:53Self-Awareness and Personal Accommodations06:42The Importance of Structure in Transitioning to Adulthood12:49Navigating Formal Accommodations and Responsibilities18:56Supporting Young Adults with ADHD: Parental Guidance and Transitioning Roles24:52Navigating Transitions: The Importance of Communication31:06Building Trust and Responsibility in Relationships36:26Utilizing Community Resources for Support39:24Leveraging Technology and Tools for ADHD Management This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

Get to know our March Parent Group speaker, Paula Smith, in the latest ADHD KC Conversations podcast episode. If you’re interested in joining the ADHDKC Parent Group when she presents “Exploring the Links Between ADHD and Environmental Factors” on Tuesday, March 11th at 6:30 PM CST, sign up today! It will be online so you can join from anywhere - and like all our events, it’s free and open to the public. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

We’re excited to share the latest episode of the ADHD KC Conversations Podcast featuring Kristen Stuppy and Benjamin Lyons, a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor from Purple Wellness. They discuss Dr. Lyons' journey into mental health and the importance of understanding neurodivergence. The conversation also covers the challenges of transitioning to adulthood for neurodivergent individuals and the role of parents in supporting this process. Dr. Lyons shares insights on advocacy and the importance of listening to community needs.Parents play a vital role in supporting their children's transition to adulthood, so join Benjamin at “Neurodivergent Adulting: Preparing for Life After High School” in February to learn how you can better support your adolescent as they transition to college, work, or independent living. 📹 Watch the video above or 🎙️ listen on your favorite podcast player to learn about our February speaker and get a sneak peek into what he’ll cover next month. Chapters00:00 Introduction to ADHDKC Conversations01:44 Benjamin's Journey to Mental Health Counseling04:41 Understanding Neurodivergence and Anxiety08:12 Creating Safe Spaces for Clients10:18 Preparing for Life After High School14:44 Community College Resources for Transitioning Youth15:34 Advice for Aspiring Advocates and CounselorsNeurodivergent Adulting: Preparing for Life After High School🗓️ Date: February 11, 2025🕒 Time: 6:30 PM – 7:30 PM📍 Location: Online (Register at ADHDKC.org/Event-list)Why You Should Tune In:* Learn how Benjamin Lyons, who specializes in supporting neurodivergent individuals, came to find his calling to help adults with ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, and Trauma.* Get a sneak peek into what will be covered in the February 2025 ADHDKC Parent Group Event.Don’t miss this chance to learn and connect—check out the podcast today and register for the live talk on February 11th! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

We’re excited to share the recording of Lauren Dreher’s powerful and relatable talk, where she dives into the realities of living with ADHD. Diagnosed later in life, Lauren uses her personal stories to help parents understand that a child’s frustrating behavior, like getting distracted or struggling to start task, are neither intentional nor fully under their control.Through humor and empathy, Lauren sheds light on why these behaviors happen and offers practical strategies to identify and implement the right supports, helping kids (and adults!) navigate life more productively.📌 A Quick Note About the Recording:You’ll notice the recording starts a few minutes into the talk. No, it wasn’t an ADHD moment (though, let’s be honest, it could have been!). The real story? Jeremy, our Zoom guru, was mid-flight due to a delay and couldn’t log in until landing. Talk about multitasking under pressure!But don’t worry—we’ve included the missing slides before the recording starts, so you won’t miss a thing. You can also find all the slides on our website’s recording page.✨ Watch now and gain valuable insights into understanding and supporting ADHD!Lauren’s contact information is available on her website: Forged by Fire. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

This is the December Parent Group recording. Learn about the process of requesting accommodations at the college level, some common accommodations, differences between high school and college accommodations, and resources available from Megan Kissel from Johnson County Community College.Recommended book from a participant who is a former CHADD Chapter: The K&W Guide to Colleges for Students with Learning DifferencesThe transcript is auto-generated. Please excuse errors. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

Dive Into ADHD Insights with Lauren DreherWe’re thrilled to share a special episode of the ADHDKC Conversations podcast, featuring Lauren Dreher! Lauren is an inspiring advocate for ADHD awareness, the author of Go With Your Gut, Then Keep Going, and the co-host of the Misfits Managed podcast. An update since the podcast was recorded: Lauren will be helping with our ADHDKC Women’s Group, so we need to extend an extra special welcome to her! We’re looking forward to working with her even more.In this episode, ADHDKC’s Kristen Stuppy dives into Lauren’s journey as a late-diagnosed ADHD adult. Together, they discuss Lauren's mission to empower women with ADHD, strategies for thriving in life, and insights into managing relationships and routines.🎧 Listen to the podcast now on your favorite streaming service or watch the video above to get a glimpse of Lauren’s unique perspective and why you won’t want to miss her upcoming talk!Save the Date💡 How to Motivate Kids with ADHD to Learn When They Don’t Care🗓️ January 14, 2024⏰ 6:30–7:30 PM CST📍 Online EventRegister at ADHDKC.org under the Events tab or from the button below.Let Lauren inspire you to see ADHD in a new light—this is just the start of what promises to be a fantastic conversation in January!Transcript As always, this is AI generated, so excuse the errors!Kristen Stuppy (00:01.981)Hello and welcome to the ADHDKC podcast, ADHDKC Conversations, where we explore topics that matter to the ADHD community. I'm Kristen Stuppy and today I am super excited to announce Lauren Dreher. Lauren's the author of Go With Your Gut, Then Keep Going, and a podcast host to her podcast, Go With Your Gut, and then a podcast co-host to Misfits Managed. She's going to be joining us for the upcoming parent talk.on January 14th for a topic that comes up a lot with parents of kids with ADHD, how to motivate them to learn when they don't care. And that online event will be held on January 14th from 6.30 to 7.30 Central Time. And you can register anytime at ADHDKC.org under the events tab. But today we're lucky enough to have Lauren right here on the podcast for an exclusive chat. So let's dive in. I want to welcome Lauren to the show. I'm very thrilled to have you here.And I want to start with your journey. Your LinkedIn services list is like this long. Educational consulting, leadership development, life coaching, corporate training, public speaking, team building, diversity and inclusion, change management. It's a diverse set of services. And your mission is to help working women with ADHD embrace their differences so they can use them to lead and thrive. So how do you feel the variety of services helps you motivate to follow your mission?Lauren Dreher (01:27.19)I honestly, I think it would show people that it's okay to have tons of interests. And I find it a lot with people who have ADHD and it because we're always curious, we're always looking at things and we're always pulling up our phone and be like,don't know what that means, let me look it up real quick, or let me figure out how to do something. And then all of sudden, it's like, okay, squirrel, you know, I have to go look up something to figure out how to do this. And then, you you go down that rabbit hole and all of sudden, new skill, yay. And honestly, I don't think a lot of people give themselves credit.or really think about the fact that learning all of that stuff can absolutely translate into new skills, different skills. And all of the things that I do, lots of them have just come from dabbling in stuff and saying, I'm gonna figure this out.and lots of different interests. Some of them have nothing to do with being who I am professionally. Some of them have nothing to do with my personal life, which sometimes does merge. But I think especially as women, men too, but as women, if we don't have a formal piece of paper to tell us thatwe have a skill or a certification, then we automatically assume it doesn't matter. I'm like, no, I don't need a piece of paper to tell me what I can do, what I can learn and what I know. That may be great for some people who need credentialing or whatever it is, but you don't need...Lauren Dreher (03:50.298)You don't need a piece of paper or something to tell you how good you are. So I wanna show women, help women discover how much potential honestly they really have. And the fact that they have ADHD,or have a relationship with somebody who does, help them understand themselves and what that can mean for them, but also help them understand those people in that relationship because it's hard.Kristen Stuppy (04:34.641)you know, it sounds like you're led by your curiosity, which feeds our dopamine, which is perfect for somebody with ADHD. And then you can learn and follow that path for as much as it gives you. And then if you find something else interesting along the way, squirrel, go to that.Lauren Dreher (04:49.37)youYou know, I've gotten your comment a lot of like, that's a lot. And you're right. It is. I think the thing is that we can do a lot. But most of it really is just being curious. And it's really interesting how differentthings and different skills translate into multiple areas of our life. And a lot of times, I mean, we give them terms, some people give them other terms, doesn't matter what it is, that can translate into a lot of different things. And I mean, heck, you type something into a search bar somewhere and it's okay, what's latest trending word or whatever and okay.I can do that. This is what you meant? Okay, yeah, I can do that too.Kristen Stuppy (05:55.635)So yeah, what do you think has been the most rewarding aspect of all the things that you have done?Lauren Dreher (05:56.75)Yeah.Lauren Dreher (06:06.33)for myself rewarding.Learning to trust myself to figure it out. I am a very late diagnosis with ADHD. I found out when I was34 I want to say. So it answered a lot of questions for me, but it also it connected so many dots of why, what are these pieces of me that make me feel like I don't ever finish something or make me feel like I'm stupid orWhy do I think like this? Why do I act like this? And so the most rewarding thing honestly has been me being able to start to trust myself because I know myself better and I know why I work the way I work and giving myself the grace to say, well, giving myself the grace but alsolearning how to set up the tools and the support system to then help me finish it or maybe not even just be as hard on myself as to what happened, why I didn't finish it, or the fact that it just like fell off my plate because I put something else on it. I will say that it is really rewardingLauren Dreher (07:59.596)working with people and being able to see those light bulb moments of them connecting the dots that I connected and being like, this makes so much sense. This is why this happened. This is why. And then being able to say, you know, let's figure out how to use this as a strength, not use it as an excuse becauseA lot of people are like, yeah, you know, that's my dang ADHD when yeah, okay, it could be, but there are so many good things that come from it as well as the struggles.Kristen Stuppy (08:43.934)Yeah, you know, I know a lot of adults who don't have a diagnosis yet, or maybe suspect they have a diagnosis. Sometimes after the diagnosis, all of those years of insecurities and failures and feeling like they let others down or let themselves down, it can be very validating to get that diagnosis.Lauren Dreher (08:58.509)Yes.Lauren Dreher (09:05.57)You know, the way I would describe it is I knew something was there. I knew there was a reason, but I had no idea what that reason was. multiple people had been like, hey, Lauren, have you ever thought about the fact that you might have this? And I kind of laughed it off at first because I was like, no, don't. No, because it has that disorder labeled to it. And I was like,I don't have a disorder. What are you talking about? And honestly, I just didn't know what it was. And it was like, no, why would I have that? then I started hearing some of the people that I followed for different reasons on social media, like figure it out for themselves. And they're like, if you do this, this, this, and this, could be you. So one day I got curious and I was just like,Let's just see. Let's just see. Like with a five second Google search, let's just see. What does it say? And then I looked at, I sat there and I was just like, some of those people might've been right. Okay. But it's crazy because it was, I ended up going to,psychologist, psychiatrist, whichever one it is, I can never remember. And honestly, had, I got myself diagnosed, made the appointment, there was no doctor referral, nothing. And I was just like, I think this might be a thing. And he started just asking me questions about what I do, how I do things andWithin 15 minutes after other people were, non clinician people, just people that I've been around after I'm like, Hey, I'm going to go get diagnosed for this. They're like, I think you're overthinking it. And I'm like, well, I'm not allowed to die. Somebody with a license, tell me that. So here you go. Within 15 minutes, he's like, yeah. Yep. This is you. And once I knew it, it was like me.Lauren Dreher (11:28.734)in a room with this little like little person that's how I pictured it with a little person running out with a costume on like hiding from me like I knew it was there but I didn't know who it was or what it was and then after as much as it was nice that after I found out I could connect dots it was still overwhelming because now I'm likehow the heck do I deal with this? How do I manage it? Like I have two million more questions. But it was like this little person like, all right, I'm gonna throw off my math, throw off my costume. You know I'm here now. So like, let's go absolutely crazy. And because it's that like flood of information and it's overwhelming. And I was just like, okay.And now I'm like, how do I structure things? So it took a while for that too, but it wasn't, it was like an aha moment, but it was also like, almost sent my nervous system into like paralysis. Cause I'm like, my God, how do I do this now? Like, what is this? How do I do this? And I'm still in a learning curve. Let's be honest. Yeah.Kristen Stuppy (12:48.295)Aren't we all? Aren't we all? And for those who might be somewhere further down the path, haven't quite gotten to the steps that you're at now, how do you, what do you think your number one advice for them to be to manage some of the challenges with or without a diagnosis? How do you feel people can start to take control and learn to thrive with it?Lauren Dreher (13:19.526)I'm going to throw this out there. No, this is just my experience. talk to doctors, talk to, people with it because I will throw out medication. I take medication. I did not want to.My husband has been a, he's known he's had it since he was early. Not fair. He does not. And it is to each their own. I originally said I don't want to, but it has helped me in the fact that it just, it calms me down and doesn't change who I am. And it is the lowestdose of anything because it is just enough to help me manage. It's worth the conversation, whether it is something you decide to pursue or not. The other thing I would say is don't be afraid to talk about it. We were just talking about how like it really overwhelmed me and I feel like there's such a stigma around it of likeLet's not talk about this. nobody wants to know. I don't want to tell anybody that I have a disorder and the world of ADHD is so supportive, full of information and you would be shocked at how many people would be like, I have it too. This is what I do. because it's individual, it's not going to look the same on anybody.And that's based on like literally everything.Lauren Dreher (15:22.938)Talk to people about it. Talk about experiences so that you don't feel as lonely or if you are somebody who is in a relationship, has a child with it and you don't, be patient. Be patient and ask questions. I say that becauseWhen it's just a piece of you, you don't know that other people do not think the same way.Lauren Dreher (16:04.459)Ileave, I lose my train of thought as you could see, I leave my organized piles of everywhere because if you put it away, it'll be out of sight, out of mind, it won't happen. I won't do it. My husband is not like that. is very, everything has a place, please put it away, clutter, he can't handle clutter. And so we have this,dynamic of he used to think that I was Trying to make him mad because I left stuff out and I'm like no I'm not trying to make you mad It is because if it is not sitting out to remind me to do it. It will not happen And Since I have gotten diagnosed and it is he's like, okay. This is you tooOur communication structure has drastically changed and much more understanding. He used to tell me that I couldn't handle being in his brain and I kind of want to be like, I don't think you can handle being in mine. And now it's a point of, we can't handle being in each other's because they're going 90,000 miles an hour, butKristen Stuppy (17:20.743)youLauren Dreher (17:31.682)in the way that we do, because we do not work in the same way.Find structure, find routine. Even if you are somebody who needs a very general routine, find some sort of routine and then, I don't know, be open to what it looks like for you. One of the biggest things that I learned about myself was I...need downtime. I usually tell people I'm about 20 % introvert, 80 % extrovert. I love being around people. I love obviously talking to people. I love being social, but about in the morning I have to have my downtime where it is silent pitch black and I can be in my own head and organize my head to know here's what I need to do today.I need the same thing about halfway through. I need time to decompress. Some people need loud music for that. I have to have complete silence. If I have loud music, I will be singing to music instead of organizing my thoughts. And then I get overstimulated really easy and I've learned what my body does when I'm overstimulated.And now I know how to help myself with it and I know what I need. But that's gonna look different for everybody just based on lots of things. be open to tools, talk to people.Lauren Dreher (19:33.198)I don't know, utilize your tools and resources and then set and enforce boundaries. You're the only one that's gonna know what those are, what you need, and a lot of people aren't gonna understand why. Doesn't matter.Kristen Stuppy (19:51.379)I think you just said so much in just a few minutes of time there. know, working with your physician or prescriber, talk about medications which are right for many people and necessary for many people. And if you have the right medication, then you are unlikely to have a change in personality. If it changes you, then it's probably not the right one. And it's not for everyone. You said your husband is doing things very well. And then again,Lauren Dreher (19:56.09)YouKristen Stuppy (20:20.275)You meet one person with ADHD, you know one person with ADHD. People are different and trying to be open-minded. think families living with someone with ADHD, especially if they don't have ADHD, can be really challenging because you can at least understand one another. Even if you're different, you understand that there are differences. And I think some people want round things to fit into a square hole and it doesn't work that way. I think...Lauren Dreher (20:31.258)Woof.Lauren Dreher (20:43.608)Yes. No.Kristen Stuppy (20:47.793)That is one of the biggest things I took out of what you just said is trying to go with the flow and for family members trying to live with someone and help someone even who they care about. It might not be the way they need it. You might need to figure out how you can leave your stuff out in the open and he can have things put away in their place and learn to live together, learn to be the way you need to be to be the best you and using all the tools that you can.think that's fantastic.Lauren Dreher (21:18.764)percent.Kristen Stuppy (21:20.933)Well, thank you very much for sharing your story and a little bit about some tools and insights. you have anything else to add before I wrap things up?Lauren Dreher (21:30.361)Yeah.Lauren Dreher (21:35.584)So one thing that I have learned and it is currently a big thing with me is in January, I'm going to be talking about kids and how to help them stay motivated and learn.And I, I grew up thinking that I, as I said earlier, I thought I was stupid. I could never, which school when I was in, especially elementary school was meant for really one type of learner. And I learned a lot of different ways, but the best way is by doing myself.and figuring out how to do it. I can watch somebody do something that's fine just to kind of get a general idea. But if you're just reading at me from a book, I zoned out 10 minutes ago. Numbers are not my thing. Really don't care about science that much as taught in general school.Lauren Dreher (23:05.998)I think to me elementary school was very much like the beginning of college where you have to take all the general stuff that they make you take for some reason, but you don't care about most of it. That was school for me. Cause I'm like, I don't care about some of this stuff. What I have figured out about myself and I am translating it. have.two small boys and I am translating it to both of them because one of them is diagnosed, the other one will be, I believe eventually. It is genetic, if you didn't know that.You have to teach kids, especially ADHD kids, teach them in a way that relates to something they care about or they're interested in. Like my oldest son is learning how to read right now and he's doing good, but he's struggling because his brain's going all over the place and he's getting distracted. Well, he loves Legos.And so I said, okay, find a way for him to relate reading to Legos because then he'll be more interested in doing it. my, my youngest son is, onery as all get out, but it is very smart in his own way. But if he doesn't care about it, he's, he's thinking about something else too.He loves fishing. I relate so many things. We count fish. We use fishing scenarios. I'll go into a lot more detail with some of these things, but no matter what they're learning, find a way to try to relate what they're trying to learn to something they're interested in. And all of a sudden they'll make the connections and start figuring out how to learn it.Lauren Dreher (25:15.47)because they're like, ooh, I like that. you can do that. Make it something they're interested in because now that with what I do, with everything, like, okay, I do not like numbers, but me having to figure something out to do with numbers, if it is something that I'm like, I need to figure this out to make something else happen.All of a sudden, I'm like, I don't want to, but this makes it worth it because I need to figure it out to make this happen. I have zero type of an IT brain. I wanted to build, I needed a website to figure out, to get all my speaker stuff up and to have information. And obviously what do you do with the website? It's a way for people to find you.don't have it anymore because it got hacked. I figured out, and there are lots of ways, I figured out how to build a website because it had something to do with something I wanted, something I was interested in. And if you can find a way to do that.you'd be shocked at how much it helps or I wear this. I have a little plastic band on my wrist for those of you who can't see me. Sometimes they need to be moving to do it. They need something to play with because their brain needs something and don't necessarily think that they are not paying attention.because when I'm talking about something, my eyes are usually darting around all over because I am painting a picture of what I'm talking about in my brain to try to explain it to you. My husband does the same thing, but if he is listening, he is doodling. He's writing something. He can answer absolutely anything you ask him because he's listening, but that is how he listens.Lauren Dreher (27:32.27)Be careful on what you dismiss with your kids and how you think they're not paying attention. Learn about them. Learn about what they're thinking and be curious about them because the more you're curious about them and learning how they are instead of what you want them to be.It opens a lot of vision, a lot of sight, and you'll learn a lot about your kids and how they work, which then translates to parenting in a lot of other different ways. So that was kind of a mouthful on what else I needed to say.Kristen Stuppy (28:12.989)Well, I think that that little tidbit of types of things that you will be talking about on January 14th. Again, you can register now if you're a parent who wants to learn to light that fire under their kids and motivate them to get stuff done. Go to adhdkc.com. Check out the events tab. Again, it's January 14th from 630 to 730. And I really hope that you guys can join this. What is going to be hopefully a very insightful talk, helping kids learn when they don't care so you can.Lauren Dreher (28:25.06)Yeah.Kristen Stuppy (28:42.867)learn and help support them. Because load motivation is a real challenge for these kids and I'm really excited to hear some effective strategies that Lauren is going help us with. All right, well thank you very much Lauren for joining us today and I look forward to seeing you in January. All right, thank you.Lauren Dreher (28:46.295)sleep.Lauren Dreher (28:57.338)First? Sounds good. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

If you missed ADHDKC’s October Parent Group Event but wanted to learn about what goes into diagnosing ADHD and other neurological disorders, you’re in luck! You can now watch “Exploring Diagnostics: Testing for ADHD and More” in your own time.Dr. Karen Jordan and Kari Wold explored the many aspects of diagnosing ADHD and other neurological disorders, such as autism. This discussion covered a range of essential areas, including the importance of proper assessments—such as the tools and measures needed to meet insurance criteria for specific services and why accurate diagnostics are crucial for obtaining a valid diagnosis.They also covered the complexities of dual and differential diagnoses, with insights into how these are handled and what they mean for those affected. Finally, they discussed the next steps once a diagnosis is received, offering guidance on how to proceed.Thank you to these fabulous speakers from Jordan Psychological Center! We hope you can join us for future ADHDKC events. Our speakers love to hear and answer your questions, so join us live when you can! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

In this episode of the ADHDKC Conversations podcast, host Kristen Stuppy interviews John Gassner, Manager of Order Out of Chaos' ADHD Athlete Coaching Academy. He’s an expert in ADHD coaching, particularly for student athletes. John shares his personal journey with ADHD, the transformative power of coaching, and the evolving understanding of ADHD over the years. He discusses the importance of finding qualified coaches and the rewarding aspects of his work, emphasizing the positive impact coaching can have on clients' lives. The conversation concludes with valuable insights for those navigating their ADHD journey and an invitation to listen to his talk for the ADHDKC Parent group in November. You’re invited to join John in November as he discusses the benefits of playing sports for students with ADHD and Executive Functioning challenges. John will cover a range of topics on how to develop the WHOLE student-athlete, including:* 'Geeking' out a bit on the “why” – the positive role sports can play in helping your child thrive.* Presenting a landscape of different sports (team vs individual, open vs closed skills) and diving into which ones benefit kids with ADHD.* Focusing on the transition kids make from simply playing sports to becoming a competitive athlete, and how to manage it all as a student with ADHD.* Sharing Order Out of Chaos's top tools, strategies, and techniques they’ve developed coaching hundreds of high school and college student-athletes to help them develop strong executive functioning skills.* Providing the proper “parent-led” language for you to use to help your student juggle the “Triple S’s” – School, Sports & Social.What: ADHD & SPORTS: From Participating to Competing…What Parents Need to KnowWhen: Nov 05, 2024, 6:30 PM – 7:30 PMWhere: Online - live only. This will NOT be recorded.Video Chapters00:00 Introduction and Background01:00 John's Journey and Inspiration06:35 Understanding and Managing ADHD10:54 The Rewards of Coaching13:36 Finding a Certified Coach18:12 Upcoming Event: Sports and ADHD This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

In our latest podcast, Jeremy Didier interviews Kari Wold about her journey in mental health, focusing on ADHD and neurodiversity. Kari shares her experiences working with various populations, the importance of diagnostics, and the need for better support systems for individuals over 18. They discuss the significance of self-care for mental health professionals and the complexities of the diagnostic process, emphasizing the need for comprehensive assessments to ensure accurate diagnoses and effective treatment plans.We hope you can join Kari and Karen Jordan, both from Jordan Psychological Assessment Center, at our next Parent Meeting, Exploring Diagnostics! It will be online and at the Kansas City Girls Prep Academy at 6:30 PM on October 8th. Kari and Karen will delve into the critical topic of diagnostics as it pertains to ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). This discussion will cover a range of essential areas, including the importance of proper assessments—such as the tools and measures needed to meet insurance criteria for specific services and why accurate diagnostics are crucial for obtaining a valid diagnosis.They'll also explore the complexities of dual and differential diagnoses, providing insights into how these are handled and what they mean for those affected. Additionally, they will discuss the next steps once a diagnosis is received, offering guidance on how to proceed. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

Emily-Kircher Morris of the Neurodiversity Podcast talked to the ADHDKC Parent Group about the complex intersection of ADHD, suicidality, and self-injurious behaviors in adolescents with ADHD and other neurodiversity conditions.This is a heavy topic, but very important and Emily was able to share in an engaging and informative manner. Watch the recording from the video above or listen on Spotify and check out the slides in the file below. Where to find Emily:The Neurodiversity PodcastFacebookYouTubeInstagramTranscriptThe transcript is AI generated content - please excuse the errors! To find it, use the button above. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

ADHDKC’s Parent Group was able to learn about managing executive functioning skills at our August meeting from Leila Lawson. The in-person attendees enjoyed the full presentation, but we struggled with some IT issues at this new location, so the recording starts several minutes after Leila started talking. You can see the slides from the talk here.Strategies vs Willpower: Tackling Executive Dysfunction was a great talk! We’re sorry about the technical difficulties and encourage everyone to attend our events in person or online at the time when possible due to these difficulties. We thank all of our volunteers who make these events possible! Don’t miss our events! See all of our upcoming Group Events: Events | adhdkc This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

Summary: In this conversation, Kristen Stuppy interviews Emily Kircher-Morris, a licensed professional counselor and advocate for neurodivergent individuals. Emily shares her personal experience with ADHD and discusses the importance of neurodiversity-affirming schools. They also touch on the topic of finding the right therapist for a child with ADHD and the need for individualized approaches to treatment. Emily emphasizes the importance of supporting neurodivergent individuals in finding strategies that work for them and reframing the narrative around ADHD. They also preview Emily's upcoming talk on suicidality and self-harm among neurodivergent youth.Keywords: ADHD, neurodiversity, neurodivergent, therapy, accommodations, self-harm, suicidalityTakeaways* Neurodiversity-affirming schools are crucial for supporting neurodivergent students and creating an inclusive learning environment.* Finding the right therapist for a child with ADHD involves considering their approach, experience with ADHD, and ability to build trust with the child.* Individualized approaches to treatment, including accommodations and strategies that work for the individual, are essential for managing ADHD.* Reframing the narrative around ADHD and focusing on supporting individuals in finding strategies that work for them can help reduce stigma and improve self-esteem.* Suicidality and self-harm are significant concerns among neurodivergent youth, and it is important to be aware of the risk factors and provide support and resources.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Background12:22 Creating Neurodiversity-Affirming Schools19:24 Finding the Right Therapist for a Child with ADHD25:14 Individualized Approaches to ADHD Treatment28:54 Reframing the Narrative: Supporting Neurodivergent Individuals30:27Addressing Suicidality and Self-Harm Among Neurodivergent YouthAI Generated TranscriptKristen Stuppy (00:01.234)Hi everyone, I'm Kristen Stuppy a volunteer with the ADHDKC CHADD chapter and local board member who along with the fabulous Jeremy Didier started this podcast to highlight up and coming events for our CHADD chapter and to share ADHD topics. And today I'm so excited to be able to welcome Emily Kircher -Morris. She has been inspired by her own experiences as a neurodivergent personand is dedicated to destigmatizing neurodiversity and supporting neurodivergent people of all ages. She started her career in education and has actually lived in Kansas City, I just learned, when she started and is now in private practice near St. Louis, Missouri as a licensed professional counselor where she specializes in supporting neurodivergent kids and adults and of course their families. She hosts the Neurodiversity Podcast, which explores psychological, educational and social needs of neurodivergent people,and is the author of several books related to parenting and education of neurodivergent kids and teens. Her next book, Neurodiversity Affirming Schools, Transforming Practices So All Students Feel Accepted and Supported, will be released in January of 2025. And I am excited to get my hands on that when it comes out! In September Emily will be talking about suicidality and self -harm among neurodivergent youth at our ADHDKC parent meeting on September 10th, 2024. It'll start at 6 .30. It'll be online only. And today we're gonna be talking maybe a little bit about that. And this is a topic that's triggering for some, certainly very important. And my day job is as a pediatrician. So I've seen youth and their families affected by depression and suicide, as well as negative and harmful coping skills.So I know this discussion needs to be shared, but I also know that everyone needs to know about 988. The 988 Lifeline provides 24 -7 free, confidential support for people in distress. And it's not just for those who are suicidal. You can use their website, 988lifeline .org, or call or text 988 for prevention and crisis resources. So Emily, thank you for waiting so patiently through that really long introduction, but I am very excited for you to be here. So I would maybe just like you to start with a little bit about who you are and your background.Emily Kircher-Morris (02:24.079)Sure, yeah. So as you mentioned, I'm a licensed professional counselor outside of St. Louis. And I think like a lot of people who are in especially like in helping professions, we tend to go into things kind of related on some of our own life experiences. So I was actually diagnosed with ADHD when I was a kid, which for women especially was pretty rare. was actuallydiagnosed with ADHD back in like 1991. So before the DSM -4 even came out, before Asperger's was even in the DSM, before you could have an autism and an ADHD diagnosis overlap, like there's so many changes that have happened since then. But I was really struggling and my mom was an educator. And so she really advocated for me and just knew something was going on. And so she took me to a neurologist andI was diagnosed when I was in fifth grade. you know, but even with that diagnosis, even with medication that I took at the time, things were just still really hard. And so when I graduated and I went to college, I decided I really wanted to improve what I felt like was a system that wasn't working for kids like me. So I got my undergrad degree in elementary education and I taught for a while. And then actually I was also identifiedplaced in a gifted ed program when I was a kid. So at the time we didn't use this term, but now we do, twice exceptional where you have both of those things layered on top. So cognitive giftedness along with another diagnosis or disability. And so I actually went back and got a master's degree in gifted education, taught for a long time in gifted ed, and then really loved that social and emotional piece of working with students. So went back and got a second master's in counseling and family therapy.worked for a while as a school counselor, and now I'm in private practice. So that's kind of been the professional trajectory. I also have three kids who are all neurodivergent. My husband's neurodivergent. We have a smattering of diagnoses floating around the house. And so it really is my passion to help people understand what different brains look like, to destigmatize the labels that go along with neurodivergence, and to help people findEmily Kircher-Morris (04:50.489)the supports and tools that really work forKristen Stuppy (04:54.088)Now, you were very fortunate to be diagnosed, not with the term twice exceptional because 2e wasn't around as you mentioned, but having that recognized at the time that you were identified is pretty remarkable because smart people can mask very well. So if you were able to get identified.Emily Kircher-Morris (05:00.365)Mm -hmm.Emily Kircher-Morris (05:18.095)I think it just shows how much I was struggling perhaps. So yeah, yeah, totally. absolutely. So I mentioned my mom was an educator. She was actually a special educator. She worked in special education. So she kind of really knew. In order to be identified for the gifted ed program when I was growing up, you had to be referred by your teachers. And I was never the student that was going to be referred. Like my first grade teacher said, well, Emily's work is generally correct. We just have toKristen Stuppy (05:21.511)But that also, I guess, speaks to people who are very bright, but also strong.Emily Kircher-Morris (05:47.843)dump out her desk to find it. But my mom worked in the district and so she knew how to navigate that system. So she said, I want her tested for the gifted program. So I was placed in the gifted program before I was diagnosed with ADHD. And so probably had she not done that, I wouldn't have been identified for either, most likely. And it's interesting that evolution, that processof coming to terms with that diagnosis. I mentioned the thing about Asperger's and autism just because first of all there's just a lot of overlap between the ADHD autism and then also that gifted piece. There's just a lot of things that overlap there and I see a lot of those autistic traits in myself but I've never been given that particular diagnosis. But I think that having that diagnosis as a child was okay.But I went for a period of time from the time that I was like in high school, really until my oldest son, who's now 16, he was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in second grade. And that was the first time I went back to my doctor and said, you know, I had this diagnosis as a kid. What do you think? Can we try some medication or whatever? But really through my 20s and early 30s, I just thought I was anxious. I thought I was depressed, like all of these different things.the socialization aspect of that, about what ADHD looks like or doesn't look like, especially in women. Even though I had the diagnosis as a kid, I was still influenced by that, but luckily I kind of had a head start as far as realizing like, should maybe reach out and see if there's somebody, something else that mightKristen Stuppy (07:36.52)think that speaks a lot to parents often wonder when their child's going to be fixed or will they always need medication. And I think trying to change that message to supporting people in whatever way they need, whether it's medication or other supports, organizational tools, whatever. Because not only is it affirming to know that you have a diagnosis, it's not you that's a problem.There's a structural change in the brain that makes things different for you. But with proper supports, you can succeed. You can do wonderful things.Emily Kircher-Morris (08:11.851)Mm -hmm. Yeah, and I think, so we do assessments at our office, know, psychological assessments to look for learning disabilities, autism, ADHD, all of those different types of things. And we do our feedback sessions. And recently there was a parent who we were talking to and their child was relatively young, you know, first grade, second grade, something like that. you know, one of the parents was asking, well, if we get ahead of this, can we, you know, basicallymake it so that it doesn't impact them later on down the line. And the clinical psychologist that we work with, we collaborate with and he did a great job of just really helping the parents kind of understand like, yes, and this is going to be something that's going to probably impact your child throughout their life in various levels in various ways. It's always better to be proactive and to find this out so that they can learn more about themselves so that they can figure out the tools that work for them.but recognize that the way that the systems are currently set up often don't work for ADHD brains. I always laugh a little bit to myself when I come across somebody who says, yeah, you I had ADHD when I was a kid, but I don't have it anymore. And I'm like, well, and what I think that speaks to though, more than anything is the fact that you have an ADHD brain that didn't fit in the school setting.And when you graduated, were able to choose something, you did something different. You found an environment, a setting that worked for you, or you found accommodations and strategies that worked for you to organize the things in a way that you hadn't. So it's not that you aren't ADHD any longer, but you've managed to find an environment that is effective in mitigating the negative impacts of that, which is awesome. That's kind of what we want for everybody. But I always, you know, I always am a littleI don't know what the word is I'm looking for. Maybe concerned when people say that because I feel like that's one of the myths of ADHD is that you can only have it as a kid, you grow out of it, or even worse, that's not even a real thing, right? Like that's something that's madeKristen Stuppy (10:28.586)I know so many adults who are in therapy for years because they have anxiety, depression, something, and it just never gets better. And sometimes I'll just ask a parent that I'm seeing their child for ADHD and knowing that they're struggling with whatever aspects of things. Hey, why don't you go talk to your physician or counselor about ADHD? See if that's something, because if that's the underlying issue, it is so treatable.Emily Kircher-Morris (10:55.917)Mm -hmm. Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, the difference, I'm going to be very honest, the difference that going back on medication has made in my life for me is immeasurable. You know, I still deal with depression, you know, very honest about that, but primarily my anxiety is mostly gone unless there's something, you know, a high pressure, something going on in my life, but that's normal. That'sKristen Stuppy (10:57.234)things fall into place.Emily Kircher-Morris (11:25.263)And not that everybody has to try medication. That's not the right solution for everybody. But I wonder how different my life would have been if I hadn't talked myself out of that diagnosis when I was in my late teens and early 20s. Like, no, I don't think that's really accurate.Kristen Stuppy (11:49.47)But you did have some of those formative years with proper treatment, which probably did help.Emily Kircher-Morris (11:52.855)Right, yes. I mean, it was treatment. don't know, proper treatment. We've evolved a lot. I I had medication. There were no accommodations, really. mean, the only accommodation I ever really got in school was that I got to carry a behavior chart around with me and have my teachers sign off on it. The only thing that did was teach me how to forge my teacher's was so, so I mean, yes, yes. I had more than most people my age, almost anybody. mean, I had a name for what was going on.I had medication. I had the ability at least to tell my teachers like, I forgot my homework. It's because I didn't get my medicine. I mean, did I do that for sure? But but also we still have so far to go. We've come a really long way and we still have so far toKristen Stuppy (12:42.334)So I'm excited to see your book, because...Emily Kircher-Morris (12:44.437)Yeah, I'm so excited for it. My co -author and I, Amanda Morin, co -wrote it with me and it really is a paradigm shift. We have each written previous books, but this book about creating neurodiversity affirming schools, there's not a lot out there on that topic. So we really were creating this kind of from scratch. I mean, there's some research out there, like, so we pulled in the research where it was appropriate.But there's no tried and true like, well, this is what you do. So we're really at the very edge and the forefront of kind of this movement and moving this into the schools. so, yeah, hopefully it will move that conversation forward to help teachers really understand what does a neurodiversity -affirming classroom look like. additionally, not only neurodiversity -affirming,doesn't necessarily mean that it's only good for neurodivergent students. It's good for all students. And that's the thing that people have to understand that this isn't just like special treatment for some students. It's a strategy or a framework that provides what all students need just based on learner variability.Kristen Stuppy (14:03.55)Right. I think that is fantastic. It hasn't been that long since I've heard of kids who have to stay in from recess because they didn't finish their work. And that is the absolute worst that a teacher could do for a student who needs to move. So there's a lot ofEmily Kircher-Morris (14:12.441)That was me all the time.Emily Kircher-Morris (14:18.223)Yeah, yeah, that's okay. I just talked to whoever else was in there and then, or zoned out and thought about whatever it was like. It was so ineffective. And I just looked back and I'm like, that's, think, I have this sense of logic, I guess. And I just looked back and I'm like, that literally made no sense. Like why, why was that what we did? I mean, another example for that is, and this is hard. So my kids are 16, 14 and nine.And again, lots of impulsiveness, lots of all of those classic types of things that you see in neurodivergent and ADHD brains. what is, know, sometimes I talk to parents and they're like, well, we took away their PlayStation for a month and a half because whatever. I'm like, that's fine if that's the consequence that you want. But you also have to realize.What is the goal of a consequence? The goal of a consequence is to help somebody learn how to modify their behavior, you know, to to manage a situation or an event more effectively. And whether you take that PlayStation away for a week or six, six, six weeks or whatever, that's not really going to solve the problem. It might give you some temporary relief like it might temporary, but it doesn't reallyfix the problem in the long term. And that's part of the paradigm shift that we really have to see moving away from that just behaviorist approach, especially for ADHD brains, because I always think, you know, schools are so behaviorally based in so many ways, and they have so many systems in place for, you know, consequences, rewards, punish, like all of these different, different things. And what I always feel likeThose systems are in place for the kids who struggle with managing their behavior. And yet the kids who struggle with managing their behavior are the ones who are at least likely to respond to that type of a system. And so the kids who more in the neuro normative population, they don't need that system. You could probably just go to them and say, hey, we need to settle down. We need to whatever. And they could do that. And the kids who are neurodivergent get this message. I'm always in trouble. I'm always in trouble. I'm always inKristen Stuppy (16:27.358)Great.Emily Kircher-Morris (16:44.243)And again, it doesn't fix what people see outwardly as the problem.Kristen Stuppy (16:50.494)And there is some research -based things that parents can do. I know that right now, parent -child interaction therapies and similar behavior modification programs can be very effective. I look back to when I was a younger parent and my daughter was struggling and we took her to therapists and I always joke that she fired more therapists than probably are in town still. She never liked them, she never clicked. But the things that they had us do were not good for her brain.Emily Kircher-Morris (16:59.596)Mm -hmm.Emily Kircher-Morris (17:13.835)Yeah.Kristen Stuppy (17:20.19)The delay in some of the things that we were supposed to do at home in the evenings based on what happened at school, were never going to be effective. And it's so obvious now. And yet when we were going through these things, they just told us, things are going to get worse before they get better. We know this happens. And so we played along with it and paid them for this advice. So I guess a question, and this is maybe not your area of expertise, but when parents are looking for a therapist,Emily Kircher-Morris (17:29.677)Mm -hmm.Kristen Stuppy (17:50.482)How do they find one that is right for their child if their child does have ADHD, whether or not maybe they're diagnosed with the traits of ADHD?Emily Kircher-Morris (17:57.175)Yeah, I would, I would start by, well, okay, a couple of things. First of all, there is a therapist out there who's a good fit for your kid, but finding a good therapist is a little bit like dating and you, it is okay for you to call and ask for a consultation, to talk to them first, to go in for an appointment. And if it doesn't feel right to find somebody else, because primarily if you're, if you, or really your child don't havea solid relationship and trust with that clinician, you're going nowhere and you're getting there fast. Like there's just not gonna be that progress that you want to see without that. So that being said, some other questions that you might ask are specifically about how do they work with ADHD kids? What type, like are they primarily doing talk therapy and asking a child to sit and converse back and forth?Or do they have play therapy techniques that they integrate? They don't necessarily have to be a play therapist because I know those can be few and far between, but something that's more active. How do you engage with the kids? How do they use psychoeducation as far as skill building goes? And if they tell you, this is my opinion, but it's my professional opinion, if they tell you that they use CBT, Iquestion that because while that might be a component of what you're doing, you are not going to think your way out of ADHD. And that's primarily what CBT does is cognitive behavioral therapy, where you're reframing your thoughts. And if it was just a matter of reframing your thoughts, you would do that. Cognitive behavioral therapy is very effective for other types of needs, anxiety, depression, I feel like are good examples where it can be really helpful.But I have found that with ADHD, it has to be something more. find that neurodiversity -affirming practitioners are much more focused on accommodations, but not just accommodations that the parents have to make, but how can the child be responsible and independent in accessing those accommodations? So for example, in my own life, I get people who message me all theEmily Kircher-Morris (20:21.625)They stopped me the hallway at the office. They stopped me in conferences and talked to me. They messaged me on Facebook, on Instagram, on all these different places, whatever it might be. They text me sometimes, you know, and I can't keep track of all of that. What works for me is for them to email me. If they email me, I'll get back to them. So the accommodation that I request in those moments is can you email me? That's great. Someone emailed me the other day from LinkedIn. They wanted me to be on a podcast.I'm happy to do that. Will you please email this to me? Because I will not remember to come back to this. That's not a heavy lift for them, but it takes a lot off of my plate for trying to manage all of those things. So when I'm talking about accommodations, brainstorming with your child, what works for them and how can they be the ones that are implementing it? Those are the best types of strategies as opposed to you need to really focus. And you need to try harder.Kristen Stuppy (21:19.968)Never worked.Emily Kircher-Morris (21:20.079)It's like if that works, we would have solved this a long time ago. So those might be some things that you look for when you're talking to clinicians to really kind of see what their experience is and how they approach those types of problems. And that can inform you as you try to find somebody who's a goodKristen Stuppy (21:38.942)And of course the CBT could be very effective if the person also has ADHD with anxiety, depression, other things.Emily Kircher-Morris (21:44.855)Right. Yeah, well, and I think sometimes, you know, I feel like there some of those methodologies that get thrown around as like, because they're what people know. And I'll be honest, and you're a physician, know, but it's like, think sometimes physicians, they know some things, it's like, this is the thing, this is the one. that's not always their area of expertise. that's, you know, and so, and that's,Another thing I think as far as providing neurodiversity affirming care is right. Like how do we get the medical community really to see this sometimes from some different angles? You will find that most clinicians use some level of CBT in their practice in some ways. Like I just feel like that's a very straightforward, direct process for helping people manage uncomfortable emotions. it shouldn't necessarily, well, I don't wanna sayIt may not be the most effective thing if it's the only thing that's being integrated.Kristen Stuppy (22:50.398)It's not an effective treatment for ADHD. It is effective for many other things. I think it'd be aEmily Kircher-Morris (22:54.807)Yes. Although, yes, although depending on who you ask, they might say, well, you should find a CBT therapist for really anything, you know, or, you know, there are, sure there are some families out there who maybe have kids who, have a co -occurring diagnosis of autism and ABA is another one that you hear thrown around. And I am not a proponent for ABA therapy. The, the autistic community of adults who have experienced ABA therapydisclosed that it was traumatizing for them in many ways. But I think also, I feel like there's no conversation that you can have without, that doesn't include some nuance. And I do think that there are some situations where ABA can be effective for some children, but I think that's pretty rare. It's kind of like anything, anytime you're doing any sort of medical treatment, you weigh out the benefits and the drawbacks for that individual.The goal of therapy, whether it's CBT, ABA, whatever it is for a neurodivergent person should not be to make them look not neurodivergent. The goal should be to help them get what they want and what they need in a way that works for them. And so that's kind of a shift. anytime there's a goal of doing these things, it's not prescriptive. It's not like, we have this label, so we do this thing. It's just like medications.If you're doing, there's so many different types of medications, you've got to find the one that works for you. And that's kind of the same thing when we're talking about therapeutic approaches.Kristen Stuppy (24:33.182)Right, but I love your point to not trying to make the person normal, kind of make their brain work for the situation and do the things they need it to do with the proper supports.Emily Kircher-Morris (24:46.455)I always talk about working with a client's brain instead of against it. So here's a quick example that I think maybe might resonate with families. I have a client who is college age and he's really hard on himself, just very hard on himself when he struggles with waiting until the last minute. That task initiation is always really, really difficult for him. And so he waits till the last minute.He gets his stuff turned in usually most of the time, but he has to have that sense of urgency. That sense of urgency is really one of the few things that can kind of give him that kick to get started. He's an adult, he's a young adult, but what I always tell him is like, listen, for your entire life, people have been trying to get you to start things way early. That's not working for you.you need to have some self -compassion. It's okay for that not to work for you. What I see you doing is looking at your work schedule, looking at the due dates and recognizing I'm gonna need to leave this time on Wednesday evening to get this stuff done because it's due by Wednesday at midnight or whatever it is. But if that works for you, that's okay. Like there's nothing wrong about that in and of itself. Especially if you're,If you're getting it turned in and you are satisfied with those grades that you're earning, allow that to happen as opposed to constantly trying to change that piece of what is, it doesn't come naturally.Kristen Stuppy (26:29.874)Right. Well, still maybe watching the extra stress that that leads to can lead to more anxiety, feelings of low self -esteem from not being like everybody else able to get it done.Emily Kircher-Morris (26:35.737)Totally, yeah, yes, right.Emily Kircher-Morris (26:44.353)It's a very individualized situation for sure. I think in that particular scenario that I was discussing, the biggest thing that's causing the anxiety is the frustration with himself about it, which is maybe not necessary. Right, correct, correct. Yes, yeah, that would actually, that would be the thing that would reduce his stress more than anything.Kristen Stuppy (27:03.676)because he feels like he's not living up to what other people want him to do. Yeah. And if he just owns it, that would decrease his anxiety.Emily Kircher-Morris (27:13.083)And so, but that's exactly what I mean though. It's like, what does that person want or need? Like what's going to help that person? If there's somebody, so I talked to somebody else recently as well and she has some tasks to do with an organization that she's involved with and she's been procrastinating on them. And now she has a sense of like guilt and shame that she's been procrastinating, but she still needs to get it done. But now that's like impeding her ability to get started.on those things. with her, that particular strategy, though, that I was talking about with that other client, would not work. Like, that's not her style. That's not who she is. So we really had to reframe that in a different way and come up with a plan so that she could get things done. But I think being flexible about what those possible solutions might be, not thinking that there's a right way or a wrong way to do things, like, those are the things that we needshift in our thinking as parents, as clinicians, as educators, whatever that might be, as we're supporting the young ADHD people in our lives because what's tried and true doesn't always work for neurodivergent brains.Kristen Stuppy (28:23.72)Right. And these poor kids are hearing so many messages all the time about how they're failing to live up to expectations and offering different supports and different ways that they can do things outside the box thinking and more like adults who thrive with their ADHD because they can do all of these wonderful things with their brains differently. Having teachers recognize that and parents recognize that and letting them take a little ownership of things and doing it a little differently. Do you think that might help some of theknown problems with low self -esteem, increased risks of anxiety, depression, allEmily Kircher-Morris (28:57.645)Right, right, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's really about that, just looking at it from all the different angles. I often, when I have clients come in for the first time, I think sometimes they're waiting for me to just tell them the thing to do that's gonna fix the problem. And I always say, like, I don't have the solution that's going to work for you,I have a lot of solutions that I've seen other people try that have worked with varying success. I'm also very good at brainstorming and coming up with new and different ways that might work in this situation. And that's the process that we're going to go through through therapy. going to brainstorm, we're going to try things, we're going to see what works. How can we modify things that will have the most impact on your day -to -day life and help you live the life that you feel good about?Kristen Stuppy (29:50.147)Do you have anything that you want to say to introduce what you're going to be talking about in September?Emily Kircher-Morris (29:57.123)Sure, yeah. So we'll be talking about suicidality and self -injury, non -suicidal self -injury. We're going to talk about some of the risk factors that we see in ADHDers, like what specifically are those things that can impact how they respond and can lead to some of those feelings of suicidality and self -injury. We're also going to then just talk about what we can do toto help mitigate those? What do we need to be on the lookout for? What do we, you know, how do we support kids? Because, you know, the statistics are out there and being neurodivergent, you know, having a diagnosis of ADHD is in and of itself a risk factor for increased suicidality and self -injury. And that's not to scare anybody. It's just what it is. And so how do we make sure that we're on the lookout?and can support those that we love around us.Kristen Stuppy (31:02.078)think it will be a fantastic conversation. I am very excited that you're going to be giving this talk to the ADHDKC parent meeting September 10th, online only, 6 .30 to 7 .30. And I'm sure that everyone will come out with a wealth of knowledge.Emily Kircher-Morris (31:21.411)Yeah, I'm looking forward to it asKristen Stuppy (31:24.978)Great, any final thoughts at all?Emily Kircher-Morris (31:27.617)No, I mean, if anyone wants to check out the Neurodiversity podcast, if you're podcast listener, check it out. But hopefully I'll be able to meet you, quote unquote, at our event in September.Kristen Stuppy (31:40.752)I think it will be a great evening. Thank you very much for joining me today as well. And if anyone does have questions, they can always reach out to ADHDKC.org. Thank you very much.Emily Kircher-Morris (31:53.369)Thanks, Kristen. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

Learn what science has taught us about the benefits of mindfulness, play some brain tricks, and practice a few types of mindfulness in this ADHDKC talk with parents and teens. You can listen to this on Spotify and follow our podcast! AI Generated Transcript - excuse the errors!I didn’t change my name each time it’s listed, but I wanted to explain why it is “Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream” because it does look odd. I teach a class that teaches about ADHD to kids through a detective theme, so I’m Detective Livinthedream - for any of you who know me, I always reply “living the dream” when people ask how I am, so I chose that as my code name. You can learn more about it from TEACH Me ADHD.100:00:02.760 --> 00:00:03.530Jeremy Didier (she/her) KC: Cool.200:00:04.610 --> 00:00:07.169Jeremy Didier (she/her) KC: Let's wait another minute or 2, and then we'll get going.300:00:07.710 --> 00:00:08.850Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Alright.400:00:11.120 --> 00:00:29.085Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: if anyone wants to put in the chat box, just if you know where they're from, part of Kansas City or if this is the 1st time, or if they have been here before, maybe how they found out about this, if this is the 1st time, just to kinda Jeremy and I are really on this mission to500:00:30.320 --> 00:00:32.609Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: awareness of this organization. So.600:00:32.619 --> 00:00:33.019Jeremy Didier (she/her) KC: Us.700:00:33.020 --> 00:00:37.169Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I would love to hear some of those comments.800:00:38.130 --> 00:00:39.660Jeremy Didier (she/her) KC: Yeah, definitely.900:00:53.690 --> 00:00:56.799Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I have never had a request to1000:00:56.880 --> 00:01:02.919Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: record the meeting. We are recording it, though, so we will be posting it on our1100:01:03.440 --> 00:01:06.120Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: website. Youtube channel things like that.1200:01:06.240 --> 00:01:07.164Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So,1300:01:08.200 --> 00:01:10.830Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I don't know that you need to record it on your own.1400:01:11.810 --> 00:01:13.420Jeremy Didier (she/her) KC: So you don't want me to record it.1500:01:13.900 --> 00:01:14.870Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: You can record it.1600:01:14.870 --> 00:01:15.359Jeremy Didier (she/her) KC: Oh, I see!1700:01:15.360 --> 00:01:16.409Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Then it will1800:01:17.027 --> 00:01:19.762Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: if you record it to the cloud, I should be able to.1900:01:19.990 --> 00:01:21.280Jeremy Didier (she/her) KC: Got it going to the cloud.2000:01:22.670 --> 00:01:23.320Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And take it.2100:01:23.320 --> 00:01:28.119Jeremy Didier (she/her) KC: Okay. Should we go ahead and get started, or you would wait another minute or 2.2200:01:30.260 --> 00:01:33.770Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: either way. Start on time so we can finish on time.2300:01:33.770 --> 00:02:00.419Jeremy Didier (she/her) KC: Good point. Okay, so welcome, everybody. My name is Jeremy Didier, and I am the co-founder of Adhd, Kc. Which is Kan, Kansas city's award winning. Chad chapter, and Chad stands for children and adults with Adhd and our presenter. Tonight is the fabulous Dr. Kristen Steppy, who also happens to be the co-founder of Adhd, and she's absolutely2400:02:00.420 --> 00:02:23.059Jeremy Didier (she/her) KC: phenomenal. She I I there's not enough amazing things for me to say about her in the short amount of time that we have available. But she's a fabulous pediatrician. She's an incredible marketing. Guru. She's a mom, she's a friend. She's a teacher. She's an advocate. She's a pioneer, and she is a passionate about helping people with Adhd. And so I'm just gonna let you take it from there. How's that sound?2500:02:23.700 --> 00:02:29.670Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And it sounds like next time you ask if you want to introduce me, I'll just say no. I'll do it myself. I just need to like.2600:02:30.402 --> 00:02:32.467Jeremy Didier (she/her) KC: That was a good introduction.2700:02:32.880 --> 00:02:35.479Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Does. But you know just that it's weird.2800:02:35.480 --> 00:02:36.560Jeremy Didier (she/her) KC: Oh, it's on!2900:02:36.560 --> 00:02:48.370Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Alright. So I would love for everyone to participate tonight. I am a big believer that if you just sit there and listen, you're gonna start3000:02:48.860 --> 00:03:12.870Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: just getting distracted. So I want everyone to participate a little bit. And one of the 1st things you can do to participate would be to put in the chat box. How you heard about here, because we would love to figure out what marketing strategies are working, and I know someone already put in the chat box that it was from pediatric partners, social media so welcome. And I do that as well. So all fun.3100:03:13.197 --> 00:03:16.580Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So we all want the magic bullet that will fix everything.3200:03:16.710 --> 00:03:25.019Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And tonight we're going to talk about some of the ways we can change our minds. That might seem too good to be true. There's really science3300:03:25.040 --> 00:03:26.240Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: behind.3400:03:27.380 --> 00:03:30.229Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: how we can change our brain and the way it thinks.3500:03:30.320 --> 00:03:36.929Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So this can help when we're anxious or depressed. It can help us when we need to focus, can help us learn to sleep better all the things3600:03:38.620 --> 00:03:39.529Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: they're it.3700:03:39.850 --> 00:03:54.969Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So 1st and foremost, Chad disclaimer. Hang on. I have to get rid of the faces. They're over the disclaimer. So I can read them. Chad does not endorse product services, publications, medications, or treatments, including those advertised in any Chad publications, webinars or podcasts.3800:03:55.120 --> 00:03:58.890Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I am not going to talk tonight about anything, that is3900:03:59.376 --> 00:04:02.390Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: selling anything. But I would never do that.4000:04:03.187 --> 00:04:07.910Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Adhd, Casey is a chat chapter. So we talk about the disclaimer every meeting.4100:04:09.670 --> 00:04:29.889Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and then for those of you who joined a little early I did comment that I am going to ask for comments anytime. You see that little comment box icon? Then I'm going to ask for some participation. So if you want to change your name so that it just shows up with initials or something, you can change your name.4200:04:30.180 --> 00:04:31.440Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and4300:04:31.740 --> 00:04:32.919Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: we'll go on.4400:04:34.340 --> 00:04:54.309Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And another way you guys can let us know if there's a Yes or a Me. Response is to use the emojis under the little reactions button. If you hover down towards the bottom you can find all these things. But I would appreciate that you stay on mute unless you ask to unmute, because if everybody starts getting off of mute, it gets really distracting with all the background noise4500:04:56.200 --> 00:05:02.570Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: alright. And if you see this, it means we're gonna play a mind game of sorts. A bit of magic tonight.4600:05:04.400 --> 00:05:07.060Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Alright. So we're gonna start with a mind trick a bit of fun.4700:05:07.320 --> 00:05:11.540Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I want you guys to put in the chat box. How many triangles you see.4800:05:18.480 --> 00:05:22.039Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: you guys can just try to put in how many triangles4900:05:22.450 --> 00:05:26.830Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I remember. It's all about tricks, so I don't expect a whole lot of right answers.5000:05:32.590 --> 00:05:34.080Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: That's the votes for5100:05:34.600 --> 00:05:36.080Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: 5, 8.5200:05:36.940 --> 00:05:39.040Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: He's accounting a lot 2,5300:05:40.360 --> 00:05:41.900Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: 7, 85400:05:45.450 --> 00:05:47.169Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: big variety here.5500:05:48.320 --> 00:05:51.050Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And if you guys look at it really carefully5600:05:51.280 --> 00:05:53.370Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: that we've got people answering here.5700:05:54.560 --> 00:05:58.180Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I don't know how many people are on this call, so I'm not sure how many numbers to anticipate.5800:06:00.050 --> 00:06:02.540Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: but we've got everything from 2,5900:06:02.860 --> 00:06:04.510Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: 10116000:06:04.630 --> 00:06:06.238Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: oh, 11 on the call.6100:06:06.630 --> 00:06:08.710Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: but from 2 to 10 triangles.6200:06:08.900 --> 00:06:10.540Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Huge variation here.6300:06:11.247 --> 00:06:15.520Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: There's not actually a single triangle in the whole thing.6400:06:16.040 --> 00:06:16.950Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So6500:06:19.270 --> 00:06:26.459Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: It looks like there's a triangle like a white triangle pointing down a brighter that's kind of brighter than the rest of the background. But it's just an illusion.6600:06:26.690 --> 00:06:32.219Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Our brains create an outline that isn't there in what's known as a phantom edge phenomena.6700:06:32.400 --> 00:06:41.899Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Sometimes our brains are convinced that things look one way, but if we step back and look at it from another perspective, we can see their perception isn't always right.6800:06:41.980 --> 00:06:52.159Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And if you look at each part of this, it's more obvious that there are a few partial circles and some lines that form angles. But there is no actual triangle.6900:06:52.400 --> 00:07:07.460Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and if you're very aware of each part, maybe even if you cover up the other parts, you can see it more clearly, or the lack of it more clearly. And that's a lot like how we can break apart situations that we're ruminating on and worried about, or having a7000:07:07.860 --> 00:07:28.979Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: discord with another person trying to look at other angles of things, trying to see what other people are seeing. So we're going to talk tonight about something that has a lot of research to back it up. But a lot of people kind of dismiss mindfulness. They think they can't do it. It's too hard, or it's just silly. It's not going to do anything.7100:07:29.130 --> 00:07:36.549Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: But I'm gonna try to start with some science, and then we'll practice some mindfulness techniques to sprinkle in some more tricks, too.7200:07:39.200 --> 00:07:52.630Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So for thousands of years people have practiced meditation for spiritual, emotional, physical well-being. In nearly every religion, Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, as a tradition of using meditative practices.7300:07:52.700 --> 00:07:55.780Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: It's been used for thousands of years, which means7400:07:55.830 --> 00:08:07.279Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: it persists over time. There's probably some value to it. And now, recently, scientists have been studying it. So we can actually show why it's working, how it's working7500:08:08.320 --> 00:08:26.060Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: during meditation. Brain scans show increased activity in areas of the brain that are correlated with decreased anxiety and depression along with increased pain, tolerance. So regular meditation can allow people to have improved memory, focus, self-awareness, empathy and goal setting.7600:08:28.970 --> 00:08:42.369Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and it also changes brain waves. So it's much beyond my understanding. But scientists can measure these frequencies, and meditators have higher alpha waves which has been shown to reduce feelings of negative mood, tension, sadness, and anger.7700:08:44.560 --> 00:08:58.700Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And if that wasn't enough, it also physically changes our brain, shape and size. So studies have shown that after 8 weeks of meditation, gray matter was more dense in areas that were associated with learning, memory, processing, and emotion and regulation.7800:08:58.920 --> 00:09:13.050Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And if any of you joined me last month when we talked about anxiety. The amygdala is like the watchdog of our brain. It looks for dangers. It's like the dog that barks at everything, though it's not very smart.7900:09:13.050 --> 00:09:30.169Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and unfortunately, when it barks it scares away the wise old out part of our brain. That does all our thinking. So we can't think. And you guys have probably all been there before where you're just so emotionally either angry or sad, or worried, or even happy. You can't think straight because8000:09:30.370 --> 00:09:39.312Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: your brain is just like frozen. It can't work. And that's because that amygdala is barking so loud that you can't hear anything. And so8100:09:40.240 --> 00:09:44.200Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And the amygdala deals with stress, blood pressure, fear, and has.8200:09:44.630 --> 00:10:07.510Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: when you do the meditation, it's been shown to have decreased gray matter in that section of the brain. So it's really impressive that meditation increases the gray matter in areas of learning, memory processing and motion regulation and decreases the gray matter in the area of the amygdala, and that shows how it can really improve the mental wellbeing.8300:10:09.640 --> 00:10:27.569Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And when we look at the entire body, not only do we see decreased blood pressure, but it also can increase the variability of our heart rate, and while that doesn't sound very exciting or harmful or helpful. It actually plays a critical role in properly transporting oxygen and carbon dioxide throughout the body.8400:10:27.870 --> 00:10:34.029Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So there's a new study. Actually, I read last month sometime that shows with Covid.8500:10:34.190 --> 00:10:36.030Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: They can predict8600:10:36.600 --> 00:10:41.800Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: if someone is going to have Covid using heart rate monitors on a smart watch8700:10:41.920 --> 00:10:47.420Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: sooner than you can have a positive, rapid strep test or rapid Covid test. Rather.8800:10:47.890 --> 00:10:50.590Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So just that heart rate variability8900:10:50.710 --> 00:11:06.929Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: shows sooner than the actual testing. So pretty impressive. Maybe one day. We'll all wear heart rate monitors, so we can tell if we're getting sick or not. I don't know. But with this mindfulness you can help to change9000:11:07.030 --> 00:11:16.079Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: this response. So pretty cool. There's actually a study with meditators who were given a flu9100:11:16.200 --> 00:11:19.799Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: virus, and I don't know who would ever volunteer to get the flu.9200:11:20.000 --> 00:11:34.299Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: but both meditators and nonmeditators were given the flu virus, and the meditators were better able to produce antibodies to fight it off. So they had increased immune function and improved symptom control.9300:11:36.760 --> 00:11:47.800Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Even going deeper than this. Your chromosomes have something called protective protein complexes called telomeres, that help reduce damage to your DNA and lower cell death9400:11:47.920 --> 00:11:56.690Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and a shortened telomere length has been linked to severe diseases, things like cardiovascular disease diabetes, Alzheimer's cancer.9500:11:56.800 --> 00:12:02.350Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And amazingly they did a study with cancer patients, and if they9600:12:02.610 --> 00:12:07.890Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: were active with a meditation program, their bodies showed better response9700:12:08.577 --> 00:12:14.152Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: to the chemotherapy and increases in that telomere length. So9800:12:14.860 --> 00:12:26.430Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: meditation is not a substitute for cancer therapy by any means. These are people who were all getting cancer treatment. But the difference was, either they were in a mindfulness program or not9900:12:26.480 --> 00:12:28.780Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: doing mindfulness.10000:12:28.850 --> 00:12:35.080Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So it's really impressive how this simple thing can change you down to your chromosomes.10100:12:37.180 --> 00:12:48.879Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Alright, we're gonna play another mind trick because these are kind of fun. I want you to kind of look at this and go gradually from side to side. Just let your eyes softly rotate across.10200:12:49.600 --> 00:12:54.410Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and you might start seeing some of these shapes move.10300:12:54.800 --> 00:12:56.382Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: This is called10400:12:57.400 --> 00:13:02.379Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: the rotating snakes, and some of them will rotate clockwise some counterclockwise10500:13:02.787 --> 00:13:08.350Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and if you stop and you just focus on one part, they stop rotating.10600:13:11.400 --> 00:13:12.850Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Anybody. See this10700:13:13.930 --> 00:13:18.920Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: or not see it, I guess, in the chat box. If you're not seeing it yet, put an N. Or something.10800:13:19.030 --> 00:13:21.150Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: let you look at it for a minute longer.10900:13:24.450 --> 00:13:26.169Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Some of you are seeing it11000:13:26.180 --> 00:13:32.819Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: like the trick is to let your gaze naturally go over the figure, and just once in a while stop.11100:13:33.920 --> 00:13:35.410Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and then11200:13:35.590 --> 00:13:37.030Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: kind of move again.11300:13:38.650 --> 00:13:39.530Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: No.11400:13:43.770 --> 00:13:50.569Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: alright. So back to mindfulness, mindfulness, meditation is when you notice the present moment without judgment.11500:13:50.580 --> 00:13:55.144Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: It's not something people with Adhd can do very easily right?11600:13:56.660 --> 00:14:09.779Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: it's hard to just focus on one thing for anybody. Anybody with anxiety. Adhd. Our minds tend to wander back to the things we're ruminating on, and those are usually negative thoughts.11700:14:11.670 --> 00:14:15.310Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: we get distracted, and thoughts come into our minds without permission.11800:14:15.500 --> 00:14:23.010Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and we often then make judgments about the thoughts, and then keep ruminating about the thoughts. And then, whatever it is we're supposed to be thinking of11900:14:23.480 --> 00:14:26.840Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: goes away because we're thinking on these other thoughts.12000:14:27.000 --> 00:14:36.179Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And the good news is, we can change our brains, and we should never forget that our brains aren't always right, just like seeing a triangle or seeing the moving snakes.12100:14:36.250 --> 00:14:50.409Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Sometimes our brain tells us something that's not the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. And understanding this can help us see those other people's perspectives, or even step back and look at a problem that we're having from different angles.12200:14:50.420 --> 00:14:55.329Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: because we know that what we're thinking and seeing isn't the only thing that's there.12300:14:56.220 --> 00:14:59.850Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And this can help us with communication problem solving skills.12400:15:01.140 --> 00:15:04.610Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So mindfulness might be better understood with the help of some metaphors.12500:15:04.720 --> 00:15:16.020Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: The 1st one. Here is a river, and imagine a river is like your stream of consciousness, thoughts, sensations, emotions, all kind of just flow downstream.12600:15:16.090 --> 00:15:20.760Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and rather rather than trying to control the river. You're going to observe it with curiosity.12700:15:21.000 --> 00:15:22.779Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Just kind of let things pass12800:15:23.610 --> 00:15:25.379Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: without getting carried away by the current.12900:15:26.680 --> 00:15:33.649Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: or you can look at mindfulness like a TV remote. And think of your thoughts and emotions like different channels on a TV.13000:15:33.770 --> 00:15:38.729Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Mindfulness is like holding the remote, and instead of just mindlessly flipping channels.13100:15:38.970 --> 00:15:44.039Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: the mindfulness allows you to consciously choose the channel that you're going to focus on.13200:15:45.610 --> 00:15:48.539Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Another way is to look at it as if you're a mountain.13300:15:48.800 --> 00:15:59.260Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Mountains are not movable during changing weather patterns, but thoughts, emotions, sensations, are like the weather, they can be stormy, they can be calm, but the mountain just is the mountain13400:16:00.940 --> 00:16:14.800Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: alright, and then finally, look at your mind like an ocean. Thoughts and emotions are like waves. The waves rise and fall, but under the surface the ocean remains calm and still. So, even though things are going on up here surface.13500:16:14.830 --> 00:16:16.899Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: there's things down here that are just calm.13600:16:17.720 --> 00:16:25.350Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So no matter how you look at it, long term, consistent mindfulness practices help change your brain.13700:16:25.550 --> 00:16:30.159Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So we know this through science. We're gonna practice a few of these techniques tonight.13800:16:31.293 --> 00:16:32.659Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: But 1st of mind game.13900:16:32.680 --> 00:16:34.020Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: because these are fun.14000:16:34.140 --> 00:16:38.320Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I want you to look at this and in the chat box. Try to describe what you're seeing.14100:16:49.160 --> 00:16:50.930Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Someone sees a spiral.14200:16:53.940 --> 00:16:55.609Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: a cone, or a tunnel14300:17:01.470 --> 00:17:02.440Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: pattern.14400:17:03.770 --> 00:17:05.480Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: It's hard to describe, isn't it.14500:17:07.099 --> 00:17:07.800Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Mark?14600:17:09.960 --> 00:17:13.069Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Sometimes it looks flat. Other times it looks like a tunnel.14700:17:13.680 --> 00:17:18.900Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and someone just put in an address and things I don't know if you wanna remove that from the group chat.14800:17:20.038 --> 00:17:25.630Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: A checkered pattern with licorice going around it. I like that. You're gonna make me hungry, though14900:17:25.640 --> 00:17:32.059Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I haven't eaten dinner yet. But spiraled and spinning. Someone sees motion. Yeah, I actually see motion, too.15000:17:32.951 --> 00:17:37.289Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Actually, this is called Fraser spiral. But it's not really a spiral.15100:17:37.330 --> 00:17:56.980Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: It is actually a scent of concentric circles, and the background just makes it look like it's a spiral. So the illusion is a bit easier to see with the circles outlined in different colors. If you just look at the innermost red circle, you can follow it all the way around. There's no spiral there. They all just look like a spiral15200:17:57.120 --> 00:18:09.760Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: because our brains play tricks. And again, because I need to prove things to myself. I had to sit there with a piece of paper and like circle it with my finger. It's really hard to convince our brains that we're not seeing what we're seeing.15300:18:10.070 --> 00:18:22.520Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and that's just like in life. Sometimes it's really hard to convince ourselves that we're not right, that there are other options, or that we need to change the perspective of how we're looking at things because we want to see that spiral.15400:18:22.530 --> 00:18:25.070Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: But sometimes it's not really a spiral.15500:18:25.410 --> 00:18:33.452Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and the good news is, mindfulness can help you learn to accept your thoughts without judgment which can help you not ruminate on the negative thoughts and15600:18:33.890 --> 00:18:36.740Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: maybe start to see things in other lights.15700:18:38.200 --> 00:18:40.589Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I want you guys all to think about15800:18:40.940 --> 00:18:48.349Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: the things that repeat in your head all the time. We all tend to have those thoughts that ruminate up there, that you know15900:18:48.960 --> 00:19:05.280Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: things we, you know. I wish I would have done this, or Oh, I have to remember to do this. Think about those thoughts that you have, and in a general way, you don't have to disclose too much, but if you're comfortable with it, put in the chat box some examples of things that you ruminate on those negative thoughts that take up space in your brain.16000:19:05.860 --> 00:19:07.740Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: you can think of some of those.16100:19:11.350 --> 00:19:13.270Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Oh, the museum of illusions!16200:19:13.660 --> 00:19:14.849Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: That's kind of fun.16300:19:16.190 --> 00:19:24.510Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Alright so. But what negative thoughts are the Ocd, so like anything that you're thinking of with Ocd, that just keeps going.16400:19:25.200 --> 00:19:30.480Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Rejection, sensitivity, stuff definitely all the negative thoughts come with that.16500:19:35.450 --> 00:19:36.620Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Anyone else?16600:19:39.008 --> 00:19:40.280Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I'm going to fail.16700:19:40.380 --> 00:19:42.410Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Yeah, sometimes I'm not good enough16800:19:43.560 --> 00:19:45.269Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: mistakes you made.16900:19:46.110 --> 00:19:57.109Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So can you guys think of what these things have in common with one another, even though they're all different things, the overwhelm not getting enough done, not enough time. What do these things have in common.17000:19:57.670 --> 00:19:59.059Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Just kind of think about that.17100:20:02.870 --> 00:20:06.029Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: This might be more of a reading, my mind. Kind of thing.17200:20:08.610 --> 00:20:10.680Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Oh, anxiety. Yeah.17300:20:11.080 --> 00:20:12.400Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Negative thoughts.17400:20:13.190 --> 00:20:14.700Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: one directional thought.17500:20:15.030 --> 00:20:26.157Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Most of us feel the same. Yeah, that's true. Most of us do have these internalized negative thoughts, and people might not see it on the outside, because we might come off, as you know, very positive or17600:20:27.060 --> 00:20:31.959Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: just in charge of what we're doing. But we might have those negative thoughts just like everybody else.17700:20:32.770 --> 00:20:43.409Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: But the reading, my mind part is, we tend to ruminate or fixate on things in the past that we wish would have had different outcomes or things in the future that we're not sure of the outcome.17800:20:43.490 --> 00:20:49.480Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Our minds are wired to remember those negative thoughts and to worry about the bad things that are going to happen.17900:20:49.730 --> 00:20:52.739Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and we tend not to worry about the here and now.18000:20:53.040 --> 00:20:55.770Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: because we're all fine right now, right? We're just sitting here.18100:20:56.070 --> 00:20:57.999Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: We're looking at a screen.18200:20:58.410 --> 00:21:01.459Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: We're fine, so we don't worry about the here and now.18300:21:01.470 --> 00:21:05.859Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and mindfulness is a way to help ground yourself to the here and now.18400:21:07.400 --> 00:21:14.689Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So where do you start with mindfulness, and the easiest way to get started is to just breathe.18500:21:15.130 --> 00:21:26.710Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Just sit down in a comfortable place where you don't think that people will bother you and spend 5 min. 2 min doesn't matter. Just spend a little bit of time focusing on the sensation of breathing.18600:21:27.118 --> 00:21:49.360Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Paying attention to how it feels when it enters your nose, how it hits the back of your throat, maybe what it feels like as it expands your lungs or moves your chest moves your belly. Just really think about. There's a lot that happens when you breathe and just focusing on the breathing. It doesn't have to be bigger breathing than normal. It doesn't have to be any special kind of breathing, but just focusing on the breath itself.18700:21:49.490 --> 00:21:51.490Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And we're going to practice that here in a minute.18800:21:52.930 --> 00:21:59.509Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: But during meditation it's normal to have thoughts enter your mind, and you might realize that you're thinking of something else.18900:21:59.520 --> 00:22:10.619Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: something that you need to do, something that happened that that day, some noise you just heard. You're gonna label these as thoughts, and you're gonna refocus back to your breath.19000:22:10.710 --> 00:22:13.730Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Just say thought to yourself, and then get19100:22:13.770 --> 00:22:16.560Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: push the side away and get back to your breathing.19200:22:17.006 --> 00:22:31.690Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Don't beat yourself up about it. We all have thoughts. Our brains are designed to think, and they're especially designed to have those worry thoughts. There's no judgment here, though. You're just gonna breathe. And mindfulness. Awareness is not about staying with the breath.19300:22:31.890 --> 00:22:34.579Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: It's about returning to the breath.19400:22:34.960 --> 00:22:59.729Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And if you think about it, that's 1 of the ways that mindfulness helps train your brain to refocus back on what you're supposed to be doing, because mindfulness has been shown to help with focus, even for people who have Adhd, and it's not going to be the only thing you're going to do. But it can help train your brain to get back to whatever it is you're focusing on. And there's different mindfulness techniques. But with this example it would be return to that breath.19500:23:01.650 --> 00:23:07.230Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: so you're gonna create a difference between the thinking about the thought and the letting the thought pass by.19600:23:07.450 --> 00:23:13.600Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: because most of the time when we have a thought, we spend some time with that thought, this, we're just going to label it as a thought and push it away.19700:23:14.060 --> 00:23:15.050Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Okay.19800:23:15.210 --> 00:23:28.379Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: so remember to focus on the breathing. You can think about the temperature of the air, what it feels like in your nose, in your throat, in your lungs, how it moves your chest, or how it moves your belly. So we're going to focus on some breathing19900:23:28.754 --> 00:23:39.710Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and if you have feelings like pain or an itch, some kind of discomfort just labeled it as a feeling, and then return to the breathing. So thoughts and feelings. You could just put labels on20000:23:39.790 --> 00:23:41.759Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and then go back to the breathing.20100:23:42.143 --> 00:23:50.720Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: But this is why chronic pain sufferers do so well with mindfulness. They learn how to just not focus on whatever their chronic pain is.20200:23:53.240 --> 00:24:01.190Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Alright. So I want you guys to watch this circle and breathe in as it expands20300:24:01.480 --> 00:24:04.579Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and breathe out as it gets smaller.20400:24:04.730 --> 00:24:09.670Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: as you breathe in, just say in to yourself, and as you breathe out.20500:24:09.820 --> 00:24:11.120Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: say out.20600:24:12.730 --> 00:24:14.020Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: maybe the N.20700:24:15.330 --> 00:24:16.590Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And out.20800:24:28.750 --> 00:24:32.239Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: If a thought comes into your mind, just label it.20900:24:32.700 --> 00:24:34.100Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: get back to the breath21000:24:49.800 --> 00:24:57.760Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: over time. This does get easier, and it can improve your ability to monitor your attention and keep it directed to the task at hand.21100:24:58.208 --> 00:25:00.860Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Breath focus has a very calming effect.21200:25:01.240 --> 00:25:09.330Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: so that can reduce symptoms, anxiety, lower stress kind of channels, your attention to your breath, which gives you space from that negative self-talk21300:25:09.737 --> 00:25:12.759Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: it lowers cortisol, which is a stress hormone.21400:25:12.770 --> 00:25:24.950Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: so that lowers the feelings of anxiety in your body. So if you do this when you're triggered by anything that causes anxiety. That is the easiest and one of the most effective ways to decrease anxiety.21500:25:25.060 --> 00:25:28.219Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: just breathing. We can all do it for free every day.21600:25:30.890 --> 00:25:33.559Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Alright! Here's another brain trick. I want you to21700:25:33.640 --> 00:25:35.050Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: look at the picture21800:25:35.200 --> 00:25:38.989Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and then close your eyes and slowly open them21900:25:40.570 --> 00:25:42.610Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and put in the chat box what you see.22000:25:50.070 --> 00:25:54.749Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and if you don't see it sometimes changing your angle and looking from the side a little bit.22100:25:55.990 --> 00:25:58.629Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and people are seeing Jesus or a man.22200:26:01.380 --> 00:26:03.670Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Our minds can make up these images.22300:26:03.880 --> 00:26:05.529Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: The picture isn't changing.22400:26:05.890 --> 00:26:11.108Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: It's a picture of 3 girls with an altered truck in the background.22500:26:12.050 --> 00:26:14.530Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: but it is a mind trick22600:26:14.960 --> 00:26:16.872Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: we try to see22700:26:17.420 --> 00:26:21.780Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So for those of you who just see the 3 girls close your eyes22800:26:22.430 --> 00:26:24.560Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and open just a little bit.22900:26:24.950 --> 00:26:26.089Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: just a slit.23000:26:28.030 --> 00:26:29.320Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And does that help23100:26:33.400 --> 00:26:35.120Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: hopefully, you can see it then.23200:26:39.300 --> 00:26:41.639Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: alright. So meditations23300:26:41.710 --> 00:26:49.280Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: just about creating a practice like a training program for anything. If you're going to go run a marathon, you can't just go out and run it. Tomorrow.23400:26:49.430 --> 00:26:53.039Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: You have to start slow, build endurance over time and23500:26:53.220 --> 00:26:59.700Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: training experts for marathons recommend a minimum of 20 weeks before you're ready to run that Marathon.23600:26:59.950 --> 00:27:04.249Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and to learn mindfulness. You start slow as well. Maybe just 2 or 3 min.23700:27:05.870 --> 00:27:07.790Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and then every day is the key.23800:27:07.940 --> 00:27:16.840Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So it's okay not to do it several times a day. But you can do it several times a day, but the key is to consistently do it at least a few minutes every day.23900:27:17.281 --> 00:27:26.498Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And you can increase the time that you're mindful over time, because, as you get better at it, it's easier to maintain that level of mindfulness longer.24000:27:26.900 --> 00:27:28.539Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: but just with any24100:27:28.650 --> 00:27:31.449Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: like anything you have to practice it to get better.24200:27:31.640 --> 00:27:34.709Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and I'm glad that you saw the mind the man afterwards.24300:27:35.460 --> 00:27:50.969Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: All right, so you can start your day before you even get out of bed and do a few minutes of mindfulness, or you can use it to help fall asleep at night. You can pair it with something you do every day to help set that routine that will help remind you to do it.24400:27:51.216 --> 00:28:09.709Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: You can also do it at other times, when you think you need it like. If you're anxious about something you can do a couple of minutes of mindfulness at that point. But the key is to try to do it at the same time every day there are a lot of apps that will send you a notification whenever you set for your notification to happen. So you try to have it sent24500:28:09.710 --> 00:28:22.069Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: when you can do the mindfulness, activity, cause. It's important to do it a few minutes every day just like brushing your teeth. It's better to do it for 2 min every day than it is to do it for an hour, twice a month.24600:28:22.700 --> 00:28:31.990Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: If you just brush your teeth for an hour twice a month, your teeth are not going to be very healthy, and the mindfulness works best. If you do it for 2 min every day much more than24700:28:32.360 --> 00:28:34.289Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: 2 h once a month.24800:28:36.120 --> 00:28:38.660Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Alright. So we're gonna stay up.24900:28:38.810 --> 00:28:42.320Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I'm gonna talk. We're gonna take brushing teeth as an example.25000:28:42.600 --> 00:29:05.939Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I like it because you should be doing this twice a day, and you can double the mindfulness experience if you do it with every time you brush your teeth, and usually we kind of do it on autopilot. We might be thinking about all kinds of things as we brush our teeth. But we can use all the sensory things that are experienced during brushing teeth as part of the mindfulness. So while you're brushing, you can focus on sensations.25100:29:05.940 --> 00:29:12.710Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So just like you would concentrate on breathing during breathing exercises. You can focus on what you see.25200:29:13.310 --> 00:29:32.769Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: what the color of the toothpaste is. What do you hear? Notice the smell, the flavor? Be mindful of your arm physically moving from side to side. The sound and the feel of the toothbrush against your teeth, feel the bristles and your gums feel the bubbles in your mouth, the tingling feeling that the toothpaste gives25300:29:34.220 --> 00:29:42.840Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: There's so many sensations that you get just from brushing teeth. So tonight, when you guys all brush your teeth, I want you to try to be mindful as you do it.25400:29:42.890 --> 00:29:45.979Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Don't sit and think about all the things you have to do tomorrow.25500:29:46.550 --> 00:29:49.180Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Think about what you're doing at the moment.25600:29:51.770 --> 00:29:55.670Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And then it's a great activity, because again you do it twice a day.25700:29:55.850 --> 00:30:04.449Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So it's not the only in this only mindfulness, activity that I would recommend doing every day, but it is something that could get you started, and in a routine to start25800:30:06.750 --> 00:30:29.340Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: all right. And then our minds also tend to go on autopilot for things that we do over and over again. So when we look at certain actions like eating, or even our relationships with other people, it's possible that these become a matter of routine. And so the practice of bringing our attention back to the things that are routine can help make things new, and our attention then can25900:30:29.660 --> 00:30:31.379Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: see it from a new light26000:30:31.430 --> 00:30:33.489Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: so that might help26100:30:34.090 --> 00:30:39.030Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: relationships or the boring things we have to do on a regular basis.26200:30:42.090 --> 00:30:49.090Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: so yeah, give people the full attention they deserve. Be very mindful of your conversations. Be mindful of26300:30:49.110 --> 00:30:51.240Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: whatever it is that you're doing throughout the day.26400:30:51.920 --> 00:30:53.890Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Let's try another mind trick.26500:30:54.420 --> 00:31:00.520Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So this one actually is hard for this one. I don't want you to look at the screen. I want you to turn away and look at your hand.26600:31:01.010 --> 00:31:14.280Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and I want you to stare at your hand, and actually not your whole hand, but focus on one part of your hand one little line, and just really focus and lock your eyes in on that one little line on your hand.26700:31:14.720 --> 00:31:27.749Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and once you have your eyes locked, then move the hand suddenly away. But don't move your eyes. Keep the lock in your eye, so your focus is right there, right there, right there and then when you move it.26800:31:28.610 --> 00:31:33.359Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And did any of you guys see anything weird? Maybe put in the chat box if you can see it.26900:31:34.360 --> 00:31:37.339Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And this one might take a little bit. This one took me a while.27000:31:38.510 --> 00:31:41.590Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: but it's something you can do when we're all done. If you can't see it here.27100:31:45.930 --> 00:31:47.840Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: anyone able to see anything27200:31:49.740 --> 00:31:51.459Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: double vision. Yeah.27300:31:52.950 --> 00:32:00.729Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: your eyes are really focused on something up close. And then suddenly, you move that away. Your eyes are focused here. But the things out there27400:32:01.100 --> 00:32:02.170Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: look different.27500:32:02.880 --> 00:32:03.820Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Sam.27600:32:04.420 --> 00:32:06.419Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Yeah, for those of you who can't see it.27700:32:06.500 --> 00:32:08.549Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: You can maybe try it again later tonight.27800:32:08.700 --> 00:32:12.189Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: It is kind of fun when you make yourself do weird things.27900:32:14.570 --> 00:32:20.949Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: It'll be a double vision kind of blurry thing, because your eyes are focused here. But the things that you're looking at28000:32:21.030 --> 00:32:22.130Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: or further out.28100:32:22.330 --> 00:32:24.489Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: It's kind of like if you have the camera in the bad focus.28200:32:26.110 --> 00:32:35.419Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: All right. So mantras are words, phrases, sounds that are said over and over again to help us meditate, or to find a positive mental state.28300:32:35.950 --> 00:32:49.180Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: so repeating a healing mantra can calm the mind, help, relieve anxiety, help calm you when you're triggered, a mantra can be silently recited in your mind or whispered under your breath to help with stress, management, anxiety, relief.28400:32:49.565 --> 00:33:12.680Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: The phrases used with intention can influence our thoughts, emotions, and our even our physiologic responses to stress can help regulate your breathing, lower your blood pressure and all the other responses to anxiety. So repeating mantras can help prevent your mind from wandering, which makes it easier to stay present, and the more focused your mind is during a meditation, the more you can experience calm.28500:33:13.150 --> 00:33:41.279Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and so make time for mantras. Write them down. Keep a journal of your personalized mantras writing these helps reinforce the memory, and can help make your intention stronger, but also putting your mantra on post-it notes in places that will serve as reminders, you can put it on your binder. You can put it on your computer. You can put it on your mirror wherever you might see it, in places that you're gonna need to see whatever it is you're going to make into your mantra, help. You have some positive thoughts with this28600:33:41.666 --> 00:34:05.260Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and use routine to incorporate it into your daily life. Repeat it every time you brush your teeth, or every time you go to the bathroom or maybe every time you pick up your sports bag if it's geared towards having confidence on the field. Whatever your mantra is, it's to reflect the qualities you want to have, like a calm mind, strength, resilience. You're programming your mind to have these quantities. There's a28700:34:05.330 --> 00:34:23.279Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: saying that survival of the loudest or something like that, whatever those thoughts are in your head that are the loudest, you know I'm not good enough, and I can't ever do this. I'm not going to have enough time. All those negative thoughts that we have all the time. If they're the ones that keep taking up space on our brain.28800:34:23.290 --> 00:34:26.770Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: that's what we're gonna believe. But if you flip your thought28900:34:26.960 --> 00:34:31.231Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: to something positive. I am capable. I can do hard things.29000:34:31.739 --> 00:34:41.809Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: With every breath I feel stronger. Whatever you need to hear, you can take up space in your brain saying those things, and if you repeat them enough you'll start to believe them.29100:34:41.920 --> 00:34:46.500Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So Mantras could be very powerful for some positive thinking.29200:34:47.070 --> 00:35:03.519Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and that can help you. Talk to yourself like a friend. If you've been to any of my talks before, I frequently talk about how we are so mean to ourselves. We are the biggest beliefs to ourselves, and we need to be our own best friends, so much more so start with a positive affirmation or mantra29300:35:05.440 --> 00:35:29.969Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: alright, and then a loving kindness. Meditation is a popular self-care technique that can also be used to boost well-being, reduce stress, increase capacity for forgiveness and connection to others, and also to gain self-acceptance. Some studies indicate that loving kindness, meditation, can be useful in the management of social anxiety. Interpersonal conflicts, anger, chronic pain, coping with strains of long-term caregiving.29400:35:30.350 --> 00:35:35.630Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So let's try a short loving-kindness meditation. I want you to look at the phrases on this slide29500:35:35.640 --> 00:35:43.500Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and choose one to use for this exercise, or, if you have one, something like it that you want to do, you can choose it29600:35:44.090 --> 00:35:46.249Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and then close your eyes.29700:35:46.810 --> 00:35:48.720Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: kind of, relax your muscles29800:35:49.090 --> 00:35:51.450Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and take a few deep breaths.29900:36:00.020 --> 00:36:06.270Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I want you to imagine yourself experiencing complete physical and emotional wellness30000:36:06.310 --> 00:36:07.639Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and inner peace.30100:36:10.630 --> 00:36:13.620Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Imagine feeling perfect love for yourself.30200:36:14.210 --> 00:36:15.640Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: thanking yourself30300:36:15.810 --> 00:36:17.230Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: for all that you are30400:36:18.310 --> 00:36:22.009Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: knowing that you're just right, just as you are.30500:36:24.390 --> 00:36:29.990Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Focus on this feeling of inner peace, and imagine that you're breathing out tension30600:36:30.080 --> 00:36:31.839Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and breathing in30700:36:31.880 --> 00:36:33.340Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: feelings of love.30800:36:37.030 --> 00:36:39.870Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Now repeat the phrase you chose to yourself.30900:36:43.180 --> 00:36:46.960Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: It may be 3 or 4 times, either silently or out, loud.31000:36:51.410 --> 00:36:53.700Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: as you're repeating this phrase.31100:36:53.860 --> 00:36:55.980Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: feel the warmth of the words31200:36:56.400 --> 00:36:58.279Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: self-compassion in them.31300:37:01.350 --> 00:37:06.550Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and if your attention drifts gently, redirect back to the feelings of loving kindness.31400:37:07.280 --> 00:37:10.230Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Let the feelings of loving kindness overcome you31500:37:18.900 --> 00:37:22.159Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: when you feel that you can open your eyes.31600:37:23.320 --> 00:37:27.759Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and remember that you can revisit the wonderful feelings you've had throughout this day.31700:37:27.920 --> 00:37:30.149Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: next day, and beyond31800:37:32.740 --> 00:37:47.789Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and as you grow in this practice, you can bring feelings of love and acceptance to others, strang those closest to you, and then expand and extend even to people that you don't know, just like groups of people, or31900:37:47.890 --> 00:37:58.020Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: maybe even people that you struggle with relationships try to build that feeling of compassion, and understand32000:37:58.450 --> 00:38:00.749Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: or feel less angry towards them.32100:38:00.920 --> 00:38:03.569Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: to relieve interpersonal conflicts.32200:38:03.610 --> 00:38:22.530Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And there is a comment in the box that the inner peace makes you sleepy, and I suspect that's because so often our brains are so wired that we can't calm down, and when you finally feel calm, that's going to feel tiring because you're just relaxed. And that's 1 of the reasons. Mindfulness at bedtime is one of the best times to do it32300:38:24.950 --> 00:38:31.099Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: alright. Another brain trick in the chat box. See if you can describe what you're seeing here.32400:38:31.360 --> 00:38:35.490Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Obviously they're real road ties from a toy train set.32500:38:35.560 --> 00:38:36.295Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: But32600:38:38.730 --> 00:38:41.199Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: What do you think are rubber tracks? Not ties.32700:38:42.380 --> 00:38:43.789Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Kind of describe32800:38:43.810 --> 00:38:47.910Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: the shape, size, color, something in there? What do you see?32900:38:54.650 --> 00:38:58.310Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Got someone saying that one railroad track is shorter than another?33000:38:59.310 --> 00:39:05.490Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: One looks sure someone's getting the hint here. Look, they suspect that they're the same.33100:39:07.140 --> 00:39:12.989Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Yeah, this is one that a rainbow shape, wood color. Puzzle.33200:39:13.580 --> 00:39:17.070Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: 2 curved train tracks. The top top looks more curved.33300:39:20.090 --> 00:39:27.230Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: This is actually called the Jastrow illusion, and it makes it look like the bottom track is longer than the one above it.33400:39:28.840 --> 00:39:31.350Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: they're actually the same size.33500:39:31.450 --> 00:39:42.199Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And Joseph Jastrow discovered this in 1889, and scientists still don't know why our brain perceives one object is longer or shorter than the other when arranged this way.33600:39:43.180 --> 00:39:56.339Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: so I had to measure them, because, of course, I can't believe it, and even after measuring it I still can't believe it. And this is a lot like anxiety sometimes when we're anxious about something, even when the facts are given to us33700:39:56.570 --> 00:39:58.470Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: that we don't need to worry.33800:39:58.590 --> 00:40:04.919Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: we still worry, and even though it makes no sense. We can't convince our brains to think any differently.33900:40:05.500 --> 00:40:11.090Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: This is how we or why we can train our brain to think differently with a little patient's34000:40:11.640 --> 00:40:12.860Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and practice34100:40:16.860 --> 00:40:18.020Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: alright.34200:40:19.140 --> 00:40:21.419Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So somebody understands why it's the same.34300:40:21.520 --> 00:40:25.820Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Maybe you can explain that because the rest of us I don't know.34400:40:27.460 --> 00:40:31.890Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I don't know. It is shifted over correct, but it still looks34500:40:31.930 --> 00:40:35.690Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: longer to me. It looks less curvy. But34600:40:38.050 --> 00:40:47.709Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I've actually seen this happen when my kids used to play with train tracks. If they were laying on the floor this way one would look different size. And then when you pick them up, it's obvious they're the same.34700:40:48.620 --> 00:40:52.860Shauna - Kansas: If you match the top art of the arc on each end.34800:40:52.860 --> 00:40:53.390Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: -34900:40:53.390 --> 00:41:04.910Shauna - Kansas: Like if you pulled it over. So they, instead of lining up and coming down if you pulled it over. So the top of the arc on that left side were even, it would maybe look like they were the same size.35000:41:05.300 --> 00:41:19.640Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Right. I can remember doing this quite literally. With my kids. Train tracks like they would look different sizes, and I'd hold them up. And they were exactly the same. But if you put them arranged this way where they're lined up on the one side, one just looks longer, so35100:41:19.780 --> 00:41:21.570Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: our brains are tricky things.35200:41:24.310 --> 00:41:34.569Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: all right, moving on to another type of mindfulness. Activity called body scans and body scans are not a sci-fi thing, or even an expensive medical test. In the context of mindfulness35300:41:34.580 --> 00:41:52.070Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: we can all learn to do body scans, body scan meditation involves paying attention to parts of the body and the bodily sensations in a gradual sequence from either head to toe or toe to head. Some people will go both. They'll go down and then back up.35400:41:52.120 --> 00:42:01.069Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and this method can help people become more aware of their physical sensations, emotions, and feelings, and you can learn about the needs of your body.35500:42:01.240 --> 00:42:07.529Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So body scan meditation is an excellent way to release physical tension that you might not even realize that you have.35600:42:07.540 --> 00:42:15.890Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Sometimes you can be so caught up in your stress that you don't realize the physical discomfort that you're having. Like headaches back aches, shoulder pain, tense muscles.35700:42:16.480 --> 00:42:20.759Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: It's connected to our emotions, but we don't recognize it for what it is.35800:42:21.140 --> 00:42:35.570Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: so, by mentally scanning yourself, you bring awareness to every part of your body, noticing all the aches and the pains, the tension or general discomfort, and the goal is not to relieve the pain, but just to get to know it and learn from it, so that you can better manage it35900:42:37.650 --> 00:42:38.900Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: alright. So we're going to try it.36000:42:39.390 --> 00:42:42.809Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: We're gonna just do the head and neck in the interest of time.36100:42:43.070 --> 00:42:44.000Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: which?36200:42:44.180 --> 00:42:50.910Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Yeah, we've got like 20 min left. So I want you guys to find a comfortable position, either sitting or laying down.36300:42:51.380 --> 00:42:53.029Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and then close your eyes36400:42:53.980 --> 00:42:57.279Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and then start with a deep breath in36500:42:58.460 --> 00:42:59.380Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and out.36600:43:01.060 --> 00:43:02.890Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and then another big breath.36700:43:05.520 --> 00:43:10.710Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and if you notice any uncomfortable sensations during the scan, focus your attention on them.36800:43:11.700 --> 00:43:14.489Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: breathe into them, and see what happens.36900:43:17.060 --> 00:43:20.620Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: You're gonna visualize the tension, leaving your body through your breath37000:43:20.850 --> 00:43:22.750Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and evaporating into the air.37100:43:25.780 --> 00:43:27.889Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Maybe take one more big breath.37200:43:29.720 --> 00:43:33.370Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and as you do that focus on the very top of your head?37300:43:34.990 --> 00:43:37.449Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Do you feel any air moving on it?37400:43:38.300 --> 00:43:40.430Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: What's the temperature of your scalp?37500:43:42.510 --> 00:43:45.990Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Your hair moving, or is it pulled tight against your head?37600:43:49.670 --> 00:43:51.459Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Then move on to your forehead.37700:43:52.510 --> 00:43:54.470Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Does it feel hot or cold?37800:43:55.530 --> 00:43:57.899Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: The muscles tight relaxed.37900:43:59.920 --> 00:44:02.120Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Maybe you don't notice anything, and that's okay.38000:44:03.340 --> 00:44:08.019Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Move down to the eyebrows. Are they in a neutral position? Are they scrunched up.38100:44:10.120 --> 00:44:12.059Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: your eyelids closed?38200:44:12.650 --> 00:44:15.429Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And if so, are they tightly or loosely closed.38300:44:16.530 --> 00:44:18.390Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Can you see any light through them?38400:44:19.930 --> 00:44:21.989Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Are your eyes steady or moving?38500:44:24.540 --> 00:44:26.949Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: What do you notice about your lips and mouth?38600:44:27.080 --> 00:44:29.219Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Your jaw tight or loose38700:44:31.870 --> 00:44:35.240Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: moving down to your neck. Do you notice any tension?38800:44:36.860 --> 00:44:40.430Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Can you feel any loose hairs? Maybe the shirt collar.38900:44:42.070 --> 00:44:44.560Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: your shoulders very tight39000:44:45.290 --> 00:44:46.650Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: hanging most?39100:44:48.900 --> 00:44:52.009Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Do you feel the weight of your shirt on your shoulders?39200:44:55.430 --> 00:44:59.790Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: True, body scan, you're gonna keep going down. But again, we only have limited time.39300:45:00.500 --> 00:45:03.370Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: so you can open your eyes39400:45:04.180 --> 00:45:06.079Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: after taking, maybe a big breath.39500:45:07.430 --> 00:45:09.589Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And how do you guys feel after that?39600:45:09.890 --> 00:45:12.350Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Did you notice any tension?39700:45:13.010 --> 00:45:15.699Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Maybe give a thumbs up or thumbs down with the39800:45:17.622 --> 00:45:20.759Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: icons, or you can try to.39900:45:21.814 --> 00:45:23.439Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Just put in the chat.40000:45:28.030 --> 00:45:30.799Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And sometimes you don't notice much, and that's okay40100:45:34.400 --> 00:45:36.070Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: to relax afterwards.40200:45:36.360 --> 00:45:38.279Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: be very relaxing.40300:45:38.950 --> 00:45:40.029Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: thumbs up40400:45:45.930 --> 00:46:00.289Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: alright. I think this is the last of the brain tricks. This image is called confetti sphere 5. It demonstrates something called the monker White Illusion. I want you guys to put in the chat box. How many colors of balls that you see40500:46:07.020 --> 00:46:10.460Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: someone's catching on to these mind trick things, just putting one.40600:46:10.850 --> 00:46:12.360Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: 3, 340700:46:14.600 --> 00:46:17.020Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: technically one.40800:46:17.920 --> 00:46:21.699Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Oh, people might have seen this one before, either that, or they're more smart than me.40900:46:22.628 --> 00:46:25.571Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Cause some of you have gotten it right.41000:46:26.000 --> 00:46:32.030Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: David Dove is the creator of this image and professor of engineering and engineering education41100:46:32.170 --> 00:46:42.739Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: in El Paso, and these spheres might look like. They're red, green, and blue, but they're all the same shade of beige.41200:46:43.050 --> 00:46:48.910Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So if you get really close in and zoom in, you can see that the colors of the balls are the same.41300:46:49.210 --> 00:46:58.720Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: We perceive the spheres as different colors, because our visual ability for shape is better than our acuity for color.41400:46:58.800 --> 00:47:03.439Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: which means that we perceive the shapes with more detail and the colors with less detail.41500:47:06.770 --> 00:47:10.029Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Rashana put like the bags they put oranges in.41600:47:11.050 --> 00:47:12.220Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: not sure with.41700:47:12.590 --> 00:47:14.760Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Oh, like the holes in it41800:47:16.170 --> 00:47:20.570Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: are the the bags, not orange. I can't even picture what the bags are. Are they green41900:47:21.690 --> 00:47:25.840Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: to make them look, really. Oh, I see what you're saying to make the oranges look orange.42000:47:25.840 --> 00:47:37.379Shauna - Kansas: Right. That's like when you see the oranges, and like you, see them through the clear plastic, they're not as desirable looking, but when you see them through the back. It's kind of got the orange lines, and it makes them look like they're really good.42100:47:37.550 --> 00:47:49.890Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I hear what you say in there. Yes, that probably is something that somebody thought through and made happen. But yeah, that's a really good point. So you're thinking outside the box there?42200:47:52.020 --> 00:48:05.350Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So anyway, when we look at the outlines of the spheres, they look identical. The color kind of bleeds in over the spaces. So the color of the sphere gets pulled closer to the color of the stripes that cross over them.42300:48:05.920 --> 00:48:18.930Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So I want you guys to all remember these brain tricks. When you and somebody else have a different opinion of something, because sometimes we're really stubborn about our perspectives. And we think we're right, and we just know the other person's wrong.42400:48:19.130 --> 00:48:32.320Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: But we need to remember that there are other ways to look at things, and while we can believe all that we see with our own eyes, that's kind of that saying, I saw it with my own eyes sometimes. What we see, isn't the whole story.42500:48:32.480 --> 00:48:36.629Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And so I want you to remember that our brains aren't perfect.42600:48:37.180 --> 00:48:42.260Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: especially when emotions are strong. We remember things not as they are.42700:48:42.320 --> 00:48:53.980Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Have you ever seen a child tell their parents to stop yelling, but the parents not yelling. The Kid really does think that the parent is yelling at them. The child feels like they're being yelled at, despite the fact that nobody's yelling.42800:48:54.210 --> 00:48:56.089Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and you can't tell them any differently42900:48:56.120 --> 00:48:57.570Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: while they're upset.43000:48:57.740 --> 00:49:01.070Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: You just have to wait until they're like calmed down43100:49:03.650 --> 00:49:10.539Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And sometimes even eyewitnesses like in a crime scene. They recall the scene differently based on how they stored the memory.43200:49:11.036 --> 00:49:16.740Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: They're not lying on the stand. Their memory is just different, based on what they recall.43300:49:16.820 --> 00:49:18.580Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So our brains43400:49:18.620 --> 00:49:21.139Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: work in mysterious ways. Sometimes43500:49:23.350 --> 00:49:37.639Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: alright. Mental imagery is another one of the mindfulness techniques. It's a multi-sensory process that draws on senses to create this biggest mental image of whatever we're looking at43600:49:37.870 --> 00:49:49.149Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: visualization is really popular with people who need to relax popular with athletes. It's been studied a lot, actually, with athletes, and, interestingly enough.43700:49:49.420 --> 00:49:54.769Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: in studies, athletes who practice mindfulness.43800:49:55.250 --> 00:50:09.799Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: improve how they perform almost as well as if they actually are practicing, so they can think about practicing running through the plays, and they will get better at whatever their sport is43900:50:09.930 --> 00:50:15.265Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: almost as much as if they actually exercise and do the practice.44000:50:15.800 --> 00:50:40.600Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: so by enhancing your relaxation skills with visualization. You can lower your fight or flight. You can help your anxiety. You can use it for performance anxiety before you have to talk in front of a crowd. If you have social anxiety, before you go to events or do things you can practice in your mind, and that has really been shown to help decrease your overall anxiety in those situations.44100:50:40.700 --> 00:50:45.960Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So during the time you just mentally rehearse it, showing yourself doing everything right.44200:50:46.130 --> 00:50:57.019Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: you breathe easy. You close your eyes, and you use the mental imagery to just kind of visualize yourself, performing well or doing a good job and succeeding in whatever it is you need to do.44300:50:57.070 --> 00:50:59.919Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And this positive self-talk can change your attitude.44400:51:01.280 --> 00:51:05.590Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Alright. So we're gonna practice one. I want you guys to close your eyes44500:51:06.390 --> 00:51:09.039Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and take a nice, big, deep breath.44600:51:10.760 --> 00:51:14.720Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and imagine that you're sitting resting on a white sandy beach.44700:51:15.570 --> 00:51:18.040Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: You feel really safe and calm.44800:51:19.070 --> 00:51:20.570Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: really relaxed.44900:51:22.010 --> 00:51:24.149Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: You see the turquoise water45000:51:24.380 --> 00:51:26.539Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and a clear blue sky.45100:51:28.080 --> 00:51:31.069Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: you hear the sound of soft waves.45200:51:31.730 --> 00:51:34.610Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: The trees are rustling gently in the breeze.45300:51:36.040 --> 00:51:39.810Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: could smell the salty air from the ocean waves.45400:51:40.990 --> 00:51:44.890Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: you feel the weight of your body just sinking into the beach chair.45500:51:45.690 --> 00:51:49.310Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: You can feel the warmth of the sand on your feet.45600:51:50.320 --> 00:51:53.709Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: You can feel the warmth of the sun on your legs.45700:51:54.430 --> 00:51:57.849Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and the cool of the shade on your face under the umbrella45800:52:00.070 --> 00:52:03.800Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: which is to relax your face and let go of any tension.45900:52:06.200 --> 00:52:09.690Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Relax your neck, muscles your shoulders.46000:52:10.570 --> 00:52:12.829Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: soften your eyes, and just rest.46100:52:14.080 --> 00:52:16.480Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Allow your breath to slow down.46200:52:17.700 --> 00:52:19.399Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: match the waves.46300:52:24.540 --> 00:52:26.990Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: It's just effortless to be here.46400:52:29.580 --> 00:52:32.020Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Spend some time just taking it on.46500:52:38.140 --> 00:52:44.580Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Once the relaxation feels complete. Imagine that you get up and slowly walk away from the beach.46600:52:45.320 --> 00:52:49.440Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: But remember that this beautiful place is here anytime you want to return.46700:52:51.610 --> 00:52:54.370Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: You take your time and slowly open your eyes.46800:53:03.800 --> 00:53:05.749Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: How do you all feel now46900:53:06.380 --> 00:53:08.380Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I do see that someone has to go.47000:53:08.640 --> 00:53:10.199Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So thank you for coming.47100:53:11.440 --> 00:53:19.239Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Do you feel calm? Yeah, this is so relaxing. This is a good one to do if you're worried about something, or you can't sleep at night.47200:53:21.030 --> 00:53:31.470Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And then, of course, this was just a relaxation one. But you can also put yourself in the position where you're scoring the goal, or you're giving a talk, or you're doing anything that you need to do to47300:53:31.710 --> 00:53:33.330Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: show yourself that you can do it.47400:53:36.920 --> 00:53:37.986Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: You can47500:53:39.230 --> 00:53:50.580Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: use it. If you have social anxiety. You're nervous about going to a friend's party because of how many people are going to be there, but you want to go. So you visualize yourself at the party having fun talking to people enjoying yourself.47600:53:50.630 --> 00:53:59.989Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and the key is to really set the stage. So you feel like you're there. Think about all of your senses, what you're going to see, what you're going to hear, how you're going to feel, smell, taste.47700:54:00.280 --> 00:54:06.380Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: think about what it feels like to be comfortable in the situation. There's no anxiety in the scenario.47800:54:06.776 --> 00:54:11.169Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: You're gonna consider how your mind is less focused on the worrying47900:54:11.210 --> 00:54:13.059Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and is enjoying the moment48000:54:13.687 --> 00:54:17.259Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and then, when the time actually comes to actually attend the party.48100:54:17.530 --> 00:54:22.679Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: you might find it easier, less anxiety inducing because you've already visualized it, going well.48200:54:23.010 --> 00:54:24.780Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So you can keep those memories.48300:54:26.160 --> 00:54:40.500Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So this can work for test anxiety. Public speaking sports performance, many other situations that you're nervous about, because you can practice it in your head before actually going through it. And the more you practice the more relaxed you'll be48400:54:42.980 --> 00:54:49.210Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: alright. One final type of mindfulness that we're gonna practice. It's called progressive muscle relaxation.48500:54:49.550 --> 00:54:51.750Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So this involves a step-by-step48600:54:51.830 --> 00:54:55.570Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: kind of tensing and then releasing of muscle groups.48700:54:55.720 --> 00:55:00.829Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: It can help to reduce tension and stress. It's a really popular sleep game.48800:55:01.130 --> 00:55:05.509Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: so you can do your whole body. But again, in the interest of time, we're just going to do one part.48900:55:05.640 --> 00:55:09.530Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I want you to start by either sitting or laying in a comfortable, comfortable position49000:55:09.760 --> 00:55:11.360Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and close your eyes.49100:55:13.170 --> 00:55:15.970Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and then, as always, take a deep breath in49200:55:16.380 --> 00:55:19.560Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: in through the nose and out through the mouth.49300:55:21.730 --> 00:55:23.539Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: repeat another big breath.49400:55:28.540 --> 00:55:30.269Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and as you inhale49500:55:31.130 --> 00:55:35.070Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: want you to tense your toes, press them into the ground49600:55:38.500 --> 00:55:41.459Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and release the tension as you exhale.49700:55:45.630 --> 00:55:47.830Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Take a deep breath in and out.49800:55:49.230 --> 00:55:50.679Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I'm gonna repeat.49900:55:51.240 --> 00:55:53.939Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: tensing the muscles of your toes50000:55:56.070 --> 00:55:57.950Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: as you release50100:55:58.420 --> 00:55:59.780Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: as you breathe out.50200:56:18.840 --> 00:56:21.009Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I mean, take a final deep breath.50300:56:21.530 --> 00:56:27.210Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: is in an actual session you would move up to your calves, then your thighs, then your other body parts.50400:56:27.220 --> 00:56:33.519Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: If you're not sure how to tense body parts. I'm going to send a video later of50500:56:34.740 --> 00:56:39.260Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: a way to help recognize the video or the muscle groups and how to tense them.50600:56:39.280 --> 00:56:42.670Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And I'll also send some mindfulness50700:56:43.710 --> 00:56:46.050Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: that can help with some of these, too.50800:56:46.610 --> 00:56:56.990Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: but practicing this, can build it into your toolbox of resources to manage emotions and stress any new meditation style you learn, you need to practice for several days in a row to learn them well.50900:56:57.170 --> 00:57:15.469Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And one thing that's great about the progressive muscle relaxation is, after a bit of practice you can adapt it to fit your needs. So if you're sitting at school or at the desk at the work and you feel stressed. You can tense and relax your legs. No one's going to notice you're doing it, but it helps to regulate and relax your body51000:57:18.940 --> 00:57:21.684Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: alright. So in summary51100:57:22.460 --> 00:57:32.810Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Mindfulness and meditation have been shown to be effective, to help calm the mind improve focus, and those things really help for anxiety. Adhd, all kinds of things.51200:57:34.350 --> 00:57:37.370Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and long-term consistent use is what's really needed.51300:57:37.490 --> 00:57:48.150Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: It's got the science backing up. So even if you feel like it's not gonna help you. You have to just give it a try. Start with a minute, a day, 2 min a day, whatever you can do and just focus.51400:57:48.170 --> 00:57:52.899Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And again, there's lots of resources online. And in apps51500:57:52.960 --> 00:57:54.550Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: that you can use51600:57:56.600 --> 00:58:13.309Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: common headspace are 2 of the common apps, but they have very short trial periods. So when I was choosing an app to try, I chose something called balance. I chose it solely because it had some decent reviews, and they offer a 1-year free trial period. So51700:58:13.310 --> 00:58:33.619Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: if you choose to do that, and you're a teen, you will need a parent's credit card. Even if you're a parent or an adult, you will need a credit card, so I always recommend, if you're going to do something like that, put an alert in your calendar to remind you to cancel the subscription before they're going to charge you. And especially since it's a year away.51800:58:33.680 --> 00:58:45.023Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: you're gonna need that reminder. I'm sure they will send you reminders, too, but those tend to get buried in emails. So if you want it on your calendar, so you don't miss it or, if you like it, you can pay for it. But51900:58:45.580 --> 00:59:08.549Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: a year of the balance app gives you time to really get into a habit, because you're going to get into it for a couple of days. Then you're going to fall out of favor for a while. Then you're going to get back into it. Then you're going to stop it for a while, but a year gives you the opportunity to do it every day for a while, because if you do a new skill. For a month or 2 you will build that into your daily routine.52000:59:08.871 --> 00:59:17.420Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: So again, tying it to things you do, setting a timer or notification to have it show up at a time that you can do it most days I think that will really help52100:59:18.431 --> 00:59:32.280Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: and then for those of you who have littler kids common sense. Media is one of my favorite resources. I used to use it when my kids were little to look up movies and games and things like that to see if they were age appropriate. But they also have52200:59:32.320 --> 00:59:33.780Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: these apps52300:59:35.450 --> 00:59:39.679Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: reviewed. So you can see suggested ages and52400:59:39.960 --> 00:59:51.410Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: choose one that might be good for your family, and then cosmic kids. Yoga is one of my favorite things for kids to do as well. Yoga is a form of mindfulness. And for younger kids who need to move.52500:59:51.965 --> 00:59:56.969Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: The cosmic cancer, Yoga and other kid, Yoga is really good.52600:59:58.340 --> 01:00:02.180Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: And then, finally, if you change the way you look at things.52701:00:03.220 --> 01:00:04.879Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: the thing you look at will change.52801:00:05.300 --> 01:00:06.890Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: I want you guys to remember that52901:00:07.710 --> 01:00:13.470Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: any questions looks like I even ended up right on time. So we do have time for questions.53001:00:18.080 --> 01:00:25.969Dr. Kristen Stuppy, Det Livinthedream: Jeremy. I don't know if you want to stop the recording, so people can unmute and just talk, or do you want to keep it in the chat box, and then we can keep the recording going. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

Kristen was joined by Leila Lawson, our upcoming August Parent Group speaker. Don't miss this insightful conversation with Leila as she shares her experiences and strategies, then join us on August 6th to hear more about the executive functioning strategies you can use with your family to help everyone manage daily tasks.SummaryIn this podcast episode, Kristen Stuppy interviews Leila Lawson, a former teacher and current police officer and life coach, about executive functioning and strategies for success. Leila shares her experiences in law enforcement and teaching, and how they have shaped her understanding of ADHD and hidden disabilities. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and diagnosing ADHD, and the need for strategies rather than relying solely on willpower. Leila also discusses her coaching business and the importance of conflict resolution and leadership skills. The conversation concludes with a discussion about ADHDKC and the upcoming talk on executive functioning.Takeaways* Recognizing and diagnosing ADHD is important for understanding and addressing the challenges associated with it.* Strategies are crucial for success, especially for individuals with ADHD, as willpower alone is not enough.* Conflict resolution and leadership skills are valuable tools for navigating personal and professional relationships.* ADHDKC provides support and resources for individuals with ADHD and their families.* The upcoming talk on executive functioning will provide valuable insights and strategies for parents and individuals with ADHD.Chapters00:00Introduction and Background01:33Recognizing ADHD and Hidden Disabilities06:16Conflict Resolution and Leadership Skills09:37ADHDKC: Supporting Individuals with ADHD and Their Families13:03Unlocking Executive Functioning: Tools and Strategies for SuccessAI Generated Transcript (please excuse errors)Kristen Stuppy (00:00.558)Hello everyone. I am Kristen Stuppy I am with ADHDKC and this is one of our newer podcasts that I started with the fabulous Jeremy Didier and I am going to welcome our first ever parent group speaker who is going to join us on the ADHDKC CHADD chapter of the Kansas City metropolitan area.So, Leila Lawson has a fabulous history and I am excited to hear more. I have met Leila briefly, but she is a police officer and life coach and I'm excited to learn more about her and what she's going to be talking about at our meeting in August. So, her talk is going to be about executive functioning and she's going to tell us a lot more about that and herself.So first, can you tell me a little bit about your job as a police officer and why it's important that you understand about ADHD and other hidden disabilities and neurodivergences?Leila Lawson (01:03.598)Yes, thank you so much. I'm honored to be the first guest on here for this talk. So being in law enforcement, I've seen just a lot of different obstacles that citizens face. And I've also dealt with young adults and children.Kristen Stuppy (01:09.326)YouLeila Lawson (01:30.254)And with some of my experiences as teaching, which I taught there and great for about four years, working in the schools gave me such an eye opener to the struggles of the students. And even though students may not necessarily always call 911, their parents do, and they may call us because they're struggling on how to deal with their children.When you're able to recognize yourself in these kids or the students, and when I say recognize yourself, with me being diagnosed with ADHD later in life, I wasn't diagnosed as a kid, but I would see that I had some of these, I'll call them maybe a dysfunction that I didn't realize. Like it's, my report card talks too much or easily distracted or hard to stay on task.noticing some of those things when I was teaching in the classroom or when I would go to the citizens homes and they're needing our assistance with kids really made me understand and realize the importance of being diagnosed and recognize an ADHD. So I think that when you're in a space and you're around a lot of people and you have that crisis,You don't always understand or focus on why this is happening. You just want it to stop, right? But if you can understand the why, then you can understand the strategy on how to maybe work around it or, you know, come up with a solution. And that is a lot of what law enforcement is. It's different crisis happening a lot because no one's calling 911 because they're having a great day. So what I have learned in my experience in law enforcement,is that you have to learn conflict resolution as well as see like the bigger problem, right? Because normally when people call us, the problem didn't start that day. So children that have maybe behavior situations going on, that didn't start that day. And a lot of times as parents and me being a parent myself, you don't always know the strategies.Leila Lawson (03:52.494)to handle things, you just want it to stop. And so I really want to dive into with my talk in August strategies versus willpower because people think, well, if you want this bad enough, you're just going to do it. If you want to be good, you're going to be good. You're not going to be bad. You're going to act really good, right? And it's not that easy. Like no kid or no adult walks around wanting to be bad.So as I transition out of law enforcement and transition into my new journey and my new career as a life coach, I just want to help people adjust and understand that it's not the willpower. Willpower is really finite, but it's the strategies. You know, you have to strategize and understand what you can do to be successful. And I'll just give a quick, you know, anecdote or story rather of myself.Kristen Stuppy (04:19.31)Right.Leila Lawson (04:48.686)I am distracted easily, right? I get distracted. Ever since I was a kid, that was on my report card. Like, I don't know how they do report cards nowadays, because my kids are older, but report cards back then, they had little boxes, and they would check off on their distracted easily, or talks too much, or something like that, right? And I had to learn that as a teacher, because I've been a teacher, and as an instructor, because I've been an instructor as well, that things that people do distract me.Kristen Stuppy (05:04.942)Bye.Leila Lawson (05:16.334)So I do get distracted easily and I never really understood that. So one of the ways that I would strategize against it is if I am teaching, I would make sure to ask everyone to kind of put away all distractions and then make it to where not only is it engaging for them, it's engaging for me. So my talks are very active and engaging if that makes sense.I don't believe in death by PowerPoint. There's nothing wrong with the PowerPoint for all my fans that love a PowerPoint. I love a PowerPoint too, but I don't necessarily have to work from a PowerPoint. It's there for the information, but I really enjoy the interactive learning component. That way everyone can be involved and no one is sitting there lost in their thoughts. Because when I am the attendee to PowerPoint presentations, one of my strategies, I have to sit down and write.Like I'm writing the entire time, not because I'm writing down everything they're saying, but to help me focus, I have to write, right? Like that's one of my strategies to help me focus and not be distracted. Because otherwise I'm like thinking.Kristen Stuppy (06:22.094)So.It sounds like you have like the perfect case study for, you know, a child who on early report cards was talking too much and then have had multiple different careers over the time. That is kind of ADHD in a nutshell right there. Did you learn some of these strategies just on your own from childhood and beyond, or was this something that led you to your coaching certification?Leila Lawson (06:55.15)Some of the things I learned just by looking them up or talking to other people and reading and absolutely having a mentor. My mentor really pushed me towards coaching and he's always pushing me to read, like just, you know, read multiple books and helping me to grow. So different experiences as I was a kid and justGoing back and having that reflection, and it's funny, Kristen, that you mentioned a lot of different jobs. I was someone that hopped around from job to job to job because I used to get bored easily. Like, just, I'm kind of bored here. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't know what to do with this. But not realizing that that had anything to do with something inside of me, right? Like, in my brain, there's more. Because I'm like, how can people stay somewhere for40 years, that's crazy. But now understanding it, you know, so I would say a combination of my life experiences and having a mentor and then just wanting to know being a forever learner.Kristen Stuppy (08:14.574)is amazing and I think that really speaks to people with ADHD need that novelty in life. They need change, they need excitement to help them be able to focus on whatever it is and so they might hyper focus on one area for a while but then it becomes boring so then they move on.Leila Lawson (08:15.086)That was everything.Leila Lawson (08:32.846)Yes. And a lot of times it's finding that, finding your niche in something to where you can have your stability, yet your change, you know, kind of get the best of both worlds. And that's something that as a life coach, I would love to focus on helping individuals understanding that because that is something that I've lived through and kind of struggled with. And I feel like I'm beginning to now.master and understand how to do these things and I want to help others.Kristen Stuppy (09:08.782)Well, and most of your careers have been helping others teaching and police officer. You have held those service type careers or jobs, however you want to look at that. And it's interesting how you parallel parenting with police officer and of course the coaching. So I don't know if you want to speak more to that, how parents can use some of these skills.Leila Lawson (09:18.382)Yes. Yes, that is about true.Leila Lawson (09:34.19)Yes, so...Absolutely, I would say with parenting and for me Everyone disclaimer. I'm no expert right? I'm just going off of my own parenting of my own two children so I have an 18 year old and a 24 year old and I have learned it was a lot of trial and error With parenting especially I parented my children at different ages, right? I have my daughter at 21 and I have my son at 27 so even thoughboth kids in my 20s, I was different in my maturity and coming to a different understanding. And I would say now one of the greatest things I was able to do as I learned is, and I'm sure the eldest child doesn't get the same mature parent, right? You don't, you just don't. Cause you're, it doesn't matter if anKristen Stuppy (10:32.59)no matter how old your audience is.Leila Lawson (10:34.862)Right, and I say this to say, if you're a parent that has a kid at 27 and then has your second kid at 33, the child that came at 33 is still gonna get a different parent than the one that came at 27. Because age doesn't matter, your life experiences matter. And so no matter what age you are, if you've never been a parent, you have to go through that first parenting phase. And what I mean by that is, as a first parent,you may go through things and have a plan of what to do, right? Like, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that, and it may or may not work. And then you have your second child, or just your second opportunity at parenting, and you are able to go back and look at what worked or what didn't work. And so tying this back to our ADHD and how to really focus, I never really understood the importance of writing things down or making it visual for myself. And I would say now, that is somethinghuge that I use as a tool, right? I have the calendar on my refrigerator. It's a clear calendar that, you know, it's a magnet and you can put it on your refrigerator to clear, as well as just a clear board to write notes. In my son's room, I have a dry erase board on his wall so that I can write notes like, don't forget to make your bed, don't forget to clean your bathroom. And if he can see it, it's not mom nagging. It's him having an opportunity to make that choice.And he told me at one point in time, he's like, mom, I got up today and I thought about you and I go, hey, make sure you make your bed. Like he just like said the whole thing, but I'm sure the board has helped, right? So that I'm not constantly having to speak and say those things. Because for me, you never want to over parent, but you feel like you over parent, like you're constantly repeating yourself, but making something visual, that's a tool. That's a strategy.you know, and having that opportunity to understand that you have to strategize so that you're not doing too much. Minimize your crisis inside your home, like you said. So it all kind of leads up, because otherwise you're constantly repeating yourself with the same thing. But if you create those opportunities to be.Kristen Stuppy (12:34.286)Exactly.Leila Lawson (13:00.174)You know a creative checklist or create time time awareness is huge You know when we look at executive functioning our working memory How many times has someone said where are my keys? I? Don't know where the keys are or the kids are like. I don't know where my shoes are what do you mean? You don't know where your shoes are we're trying to get out the door so keys and shoes you're trying to find those things but if you strategize and you have a home and everything has a spot and it'ssomething that you can, you know, a consistent routine, then you're able to truly be a little bit more successful.Kristen Stuppy (13:38.734)Exactly. And I presume that's what your whole talk August 6th will be about is some of these tools that families can use. Because if you just tell your kids to try harder or just do it, they're going to get lost. So they need those executive functioning tools to help them. So I think it's going to be a fabulous talk and I'm super excited about it. Tell me about your coaching business. Where are you with that?Leila Lawson (13:57.038)Absolutely, Kristen.Leila Lawson (14:09.166)So with my life coaching, I have been coaching and currently I am working on writing a ebook to add to my coaching website that I'm working on getting up probably mid July to end of July. And it's just to assist individuals that want to kind of get leadership skills, executive coaching, conflict resolution. And when I say conflict resolution, I am referring tobasic conflict management, there's times that we come into conflict with something as simple as, and I'll start with something like inside the home, right? Like, it's not your turn to ride in the front seat for siblings. That's a conflict nonetheless. Or you're having a conflict because of, you know, we don't agree on the curfew time. So it could be something as small as that.Or it could be something as workplace conflict for adults. Whereas you have a coworker that you don't see eye to eye with. And when you think about conflict, a lot of times, Kristen, the conflict stems from misunderstandings, right? So if you don't know an individual, it's hard to receive the information and not know them like you've had to know them for the past three or four years. But if you and I are colleagues, Kristen, andWe're communicating information and I'll say, I'll just use an example via text. If you and I have only known each other for a couple of months and I'm not sure your tone or your demeanor or your energy, I may read something and receive it incorrectly or I may receive the email that you send me incorrectly because I don't know you. I've not taken the time to know you. But if I take just a little bit of time to know you, that will absorb almost that conflict that could have happened.Because I can say, you know what? Kristen is a helper and she doesn't mean anything personal by this. She's trying to help me, right? And it can bring that defense down that we sometimes will have up when we don't understand someone's positioning as to the information that's being shared. So just kind of.Kristen Stuppy (16:25.902)is a fantastic example. Already today I have amended one of my texts because I sent it and I thought, ooh, the tone might be read wrong. So I added a second text to follow up to clarify that I wasn't thinking the person had done something wrong. It was just the situation that didn't turn out fantastically. So I think we can watch our own tones, but also try to watchLeila Lawson (16:35.758)Mm -hmm.Leila Lawson (16:47.822)Right.Kristen Stuppy (16:52.686)how others might be perceived and if that's their true intention or not. So I think that's a fantastic life coaching.Leila Lawson (16:59.822)And I like how you said that, Kristen. You amended it, you know? It's not that you're gonna take it back, but you just wanted to make sure that that individual was able to receive your words, because a lot of times, with conflict management, or just conflict resolution, the person will get caught on one sentence or one word and miss the rest of it. I mean, what's the saying? You can't see the force for the trees? And you're, so.Kristen Stuppy (17:27.374)Exactly.Leila Lawson (17:28.558)you know, that can end up happening to us. And just developing as a leader with my coaching business, developing leaders, we all have a leader within us and we don't have to necessarily lead others, but it's really important to know how to lead ourselves in a successful way.Kristen Stuppy (17:45.678)I love that. That is a very powerful way to look at how we live our lives. So that is fantastic. I did forget at the beginning, I was going to mention that you are also one of our newest ADHDKC board members. So welcome to the team there. What led you to ADHDKC? How did you find out about it?Leila Lawson (18:02.894)Thank you.Leila Lawson (18:09.294)I have a really, so I have a best friend named Nicole Smith and she says to me, Leila, I think this would be great for you. You're always talking about ADHD and how you have ADHD. And I think this will be a great opportunity for you to not only learn more, but to partake in this opportunity to make a difference. And I had not heard of ADHDKC. I didn't know that there was a support opportunity available.when I began reading more about the opportunities and joined it join CHADD the National Organization and Became aware of all the podcast available the webinars. I was like a kid in a candy store. Honestly Kristen It really intrigued me because the minute you're able to learn yourself and learn more about the things that you thought were quote -unquote brokenIt's like, yay, there's more people that are like me and I'm not broken. And even if you don't know a single soul that is struggling with maybe something you're struggling with, it puts it in perspective that you have an understanding of what you have been living with. And then it also functions as an opportunity for you to successfully find ways to tackle these struggles that you may have been having.So it's almost as though you've been playing basketball or soccer or boxing or anything without a playbook and someone says, hey, you know there's a playbook, right? And you're like, stop it, there's a playbook to this? And you've just been making it up all along. So the playbook is here and it just feels great.Kristen Stuppy (19:41.678)I love that.Kristen Stuppy (19:49.582)Yeah, I think of course, CHADD is a national organization and they are recently joining with some of the other ADHD groups to be even bigger and stronger. And when you get a diagnosis and learn that it is very common to have some of these dysfunctions that you are struggling with and that other people are there along with you and you don't have to reinvent the wheel. There are proven techniques to help.some of it involves medication, but some of it is just learning these tools and strategies. I think you find your tribe and you become validated. And as a pediatrician in my other life, I oftentimes see families who are afraid of a diagnosis and I really would encourage them to get an early diagnosis so that they can help validate their child and some of the problems and the issues that they're facing in their home and learn the tools.And of course you don't need a diagnosis. It sounds like you learned some of these tools on your own just by researching and learning what other people have done for similar problems, but packaging it all together, I really think can help. I know a lot of adults who were diagnosed as adults and they think back to how childhood could have been so much better had their parents been able to give them the supports they needed and the tools they needed. So I'm sure that's part of whatcoaches do as well. And then from the medical side, I can help with the medical aspects of it. So I am super excited to hear Leila talk. The strategies versus willpower tackling executive dysfunction, August 6th at 6 .30 PM. This is going to be offered online, but also in person at the Anita B. Gorman Center, which is on Troost, 4750 Troost in Kansas City, Missouri.ADHDKC is working on trying new locations and this one just looks absolutely amazing. The Anita B. Gorman Center, you can stop by early, check out some of their paved nature trails and some exhibits inside the building. Exercise helps clear the mind. Studies have shown that if you take a walk before going to school, you actually will perform better at school. So maybe get there early, walk on some of their beautiful trails, and then come in when your brain can focus and listen to Leila talk.Kristen Stuppy (22:13.07)executive functioning skills. And again her talk is at 630 on August 6th. You can sign up by following the links on the adhdkc .org events page or from our newsletter. And I really do hope that people can join Leila and learn more about helping your kids develop executive functioning. So Leila do you have any other final thoughts?Leila Lawson (22:15.63)youLeila Lawson (22:38.318)No, I hope to see everyone on August 6th. Thank you.Kristen Stuppy (22:41.55)I am very much looking forward to it. Thank you for joining me today in this first ever podcast guest role. So thank you very much for being here.Leila Lawson (22:48.942)Thank you.You're welcome, Kristen.Keywords ADHD, executive functioning, strategies, police officer, life coach, teaching, diagnosis, willpower, conflict resolution, leadership skills, ADHDKC This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

Kristen Stuppy talks about the July Parent and Teen Group event: Mind Tricks to Improve Focus and Calm Your Brain. Learn more about it from our Parent Group or ADHDKCTeen pages.TranscriptHi everyone, I'm Kristen Stuppy, a pediatrician who is passionate about ADHD and one of the ADHD KC board members. I last spoke with Jeremy Didier, my good friend and founder of ADHD KC, about our chapter's beginnings and how we've evolved over time. We're working on ways to get information to our Kansas City community and also anyone who can join us online. Today I'm going to try a new feature where we talk about our upcoming parent group speaker.to learn more about what they will talk about and why they chose it as a topic. Yours truly is talking next month. So it's an easy way to introduce this new idea and try it out before we ask another volunteer speaker to do this. July 2nd, I will be talking to both our parent group and our teen group about mindfulness. Usually these groups meet separately, but summer's a busy time for everyone. So we expect smaller participant numbers and decided to combine the groups together.going back to separate group events in August, and I'll talk more about that at the end of this. I chose to talk about mindfulness because as I was preparing to talk about anxiety, which is also one of the most commonly requested topics in our teen group, I realized there's too much to talk about in just a one hour session. I did talk about anxiety at our June meeting for both parents and teens, and because it was a parent meeting event, it was also recorded. You can see that recording.if you go to our ADHDKC YouTube page or our ADHDKC website, adhdkc .org and look under resources and then there's a recordings and past events section. I do not typically record the teen sessions because they're interactive sessions and we need to maintain the privacy of the participants, but the parent talks are recorded for thespeaker portion, not the Q &A. So you still do get more if you go to the sessions live, if they are live available. But for those who can't attend, we know that there are lots of things that people get to do in this busy world that we live in, and sometimes they can't make a talk live, but they still want to hear it. So we do offer the speaker portion of the parent events as a recording.Kristen Stuppy, MD (02:29.756)So anyway, since summer's busy, I had planned to present both the parent and the teen groups in June and July and kind of did it as a part one, part two, even though they are completely separate talks. So in June, I talked about anxiety with a lot of why we have anxiety, how our body responds to anxiety and some tools that we can use.to help to calm our brain down so we can then move forward, use the thinking parts of our brain. Part of the ways we can calm our brains down is to use some mindfulness tools, but there wasn't enough time in that talk to talk about it. So I'm gonna have a whole part two with just mindfulness. And I've known about mindfulness for a long time. Kind of on the surface, I knew that it's been around forever, Buddhist monks do it, but many other...people not of a religious sect will also do it. It's withstood the test of time, so there's gotta be something there. And scientists have actually studied it and they now know quite a bit. And I was quite surprised when I started researching mindfulness, how much science there is to back this generations old practice. Something that we can all do on our own, maybe with some guidance and some learningbut it's something that any of us could do at any time of the day. You can do it while you're getting ready for bed. You can do it while you're brushing your teeth. You can do it sitting calmly in your room, but you can also do it while walking. Mindfulness is something that is helpful to anyone who gives it a try and puts an honest effort in. I've really become a true believer in it. And I've only recently started my own mindfulness practice. So I'm by no means an expert on the subject.But I do wanna share some of the science of why it works, why it's lasted for thousands of years. This is not a passing fad, it's not a trend, it's something that is well established and we can all learn to use it and then get in the habits of using it. Scientists have found out so many physical changes in the brain and down to even our chromosomes, it's so amazing. And I do wanna share all of that with you because I think if you understand that it is a real thing.Kristen Stuppy, MD (04:51.584)that science actually supports doing mindfulness, then you might be more willing to give it a try. Because I know a lot of people with ADHD are like, I can't sit and focus for two minutes on anything. But you can train your brain to do it. And one of the best things with mindfulness is it has been shown to help people learn to refocus. So when somebody with ADHD loses the focus on what they're supposed to be paying attention to, they can bring it back more easily because they've been practicing how to do that. Because when you're being mindful ofwhatever it is practice -wise you're doing. So you're doing a breathing exercise. You're being mindful of your breathing. And if a thought comes in, you just label it as a thought and you push it away, get back to your breathing. Most of the mindfulness, at least all the things that I have tried so far, again, I'm new to this as well, but they all have a focus of what you're doing. And if a thought comes into your mind or if you feel something,you just label it and move on, get back to what you're doing. And so that helps to train people with ADHD who lose focus all the time to get back to what they need to attend to. And so that's a fantastic benefit of mindfulness in particular for people with ADHD, but it also helps people with anxiety, which we know also happens in people with ADHD quite a bit. So there are so many reasons to do mindfulness and we'll go through.a few mindfulness exercises, just brief ones, to help learn what some of them are. And then I'm also going to do some brain tricks. And the brain tricks are there because they're fun. But also I want people to be able to see why our brain doesn't always do what we think it's doing. We think if we see something, we can believe in it because we saw it with our own two eyes. But what we forget is sometimes our brains play tricks on us.That's why two people can remember the exact same event they witnessed from different perspectives. They have their own maybe background or bias towards it and they remember it very differently. I can think of many children who say, my mom always yells at me and the mother's looking like, I don't yell. And other witnesses might say the mother wasn't yelling, but the child perceives it as yelling because the way our brain works is that way. So we're going to play some mind tricks andKristen Stuppy, MD (07:12.256)see if we can start to understand that our brains are not always exactly what we think they are. So during the talk, I will touch upon some of the science and do the mind tricks. I will also introduce some of the mindfulness techniques that are available and give some resources so that you can do this at home. You can start your practice. And I'm doing this because I really have become a true believer in the mindfulness.Even though my practice is not perfect, I will say that I'm remembering at least half the days of the week at this point. I'm still not to every day, but I'm working on it. And that's all any of us can do is to continue to better ourselves. And mindfulness is one of those things that can definitely help us be better at regulating our emotions and focusing and our overall physical health as well. So I really do hope people can join me on July 2nd at 630.Central Time and it'll be online only so you can join from anywhere as long as you have an internet connection and you can go to adhdkc .org events to find all of these signups. You will also be able to see August presentations as well and the August presentations are going to be atphysical location again and they're going to be separate. The parent group and the teen group are both going to meet at the same time on August 9th at 6 .30 p But the topics will be different. The parent group is going to be hearing Leila Lawson who is actually a police sergeant and she's a certified coach. She'll be talking about executive functioning which is again one of our more popular requestedtopics. So I'm really excited for her to be able to talk and I will be talking to the teen group at the same time in a different location about medications. Managing medications is something as a pediatrician. I talk all the time to families and kids about side effects are there and if people have side effects I will touch upon the ways they can treat them in the office but there's never enough time to talk about all of them.Kristen Stuppy, MD (09:37.952)So I'll be able to spend an hour talking to teens and their parents who want to join that group instead of the parent group. Talking about medication management and side effects management. So July will be about mindfulness for both parent and teen groups. And that one's online only. In August, we're back to two separate groups in person and online.The groups are gonna meet at the Anita B. Gorman Center, which is at 4750 Troust Avenue in Kansas City, Missouri. This is a new location for us. So I am excited to try a new location and it will still only be if enough people sign up. When we have in -person events, it takes a lot more than just that hour of the talk. People have to go early and get the room ready. They have to...clean up afterwards, there's just more to it. So if enough people sign up to attend in person, then we will continue to hold the parent and the teen groups at the Anita B. Gorman Center. If not enough people sign up, we will still do the talks online. So when you sign up, you will also get a confirmation by the Sunday before the Tuesday event for the August in -person event.but I do think the in -person events are beneficial, not just for hearing the speaker, but you can ask questions and interact with the other participants as well. Sometimes just being with your tribe, people who are going through similar things. These are all people who are affected by ADHD in one way or another, whether it's them personally or family members. So I am super excited to be able to be back in person and at a new location to see if that helps to get some more.new faces at our groups. So I do hope that you can go to adhdkc .org forward slash events, find the parent group page and or the teen group page. Those will link you to our sub stack. We use sub stack to send out our newsletters. You can sign up for the newsletter if you click on that or you can pass through that. I know some people don't want to sign up for the newsletter before they actually read it.Kristen Stuppy, MD (12:00.416)So you can click out of that pop -up box and just go directly to the page, learn more, and then sign up. We do add people who sign up to our newsletter so that you can get more information about the next meetings. And you can always cancel out of that if you want to disenroll. But I do think that all of our events are worthy of at least learning about. So we'll invite you to those. So I hope you guys can join me in July.on the second for the talk on mindfulness. I'm super excited about it. And then again in August for the talk about medication management. And then for the parents, join again for mindfulness July 2nd at 630. Or in August, parents can talk about or listen about executive functioning. Both of those will be great talks. I'm super excited for everyone to join us and I hope you can. Thanks. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com

Jeremy Didier and Kristen Stuppy discuss the history and evolution of the ADHD KC chapter, asking for your input to learn what your needs are. While this started as a Facebook Live, it seems appropriate to try it as an introductory podcast. One of the reasons to do this Live was to ask how people want us to reach them, and podcasts are popular now, so is this something you’d like? We’d love to hear your comments - put them below or message [email protected] and we’ll take everything into consideration!We start this episode with Jeremy sharing how the chapter started after her son was diagnosed with ADHD and she felt the need for support and connection with other parents facing similar challenges. The conversations continues as we talk about the different support groups and programs that ADHDKC offers, including parent groups, adult groups, women's groups, and teen groups. We talk about the challenges of organizing in-person meetings and the impact of the pandemic had on our organization as we work to build back up the momentum we had pre-pandemic.We also talk about the challenges of communication and finding the right balance of emails and social media posts to keep members informed. Again, we want your feedback so we know how to best reach you!AI Generated TranscriptExcuse the errors…Kristen Stuppy, MD (00:02.445)Well, hello, everyone. I am Kristen Stuppy, and I'm super excited for those of you who are going to be joining my very good friend, Jeremy Didier and I, as we talk about the history of ADHD KC. And I want Jeremy to start off. She is the one that came up with starting a local CHADD chapter. So kind of tell us where you arrived at that.Jeremy Didier (00:10.286)Thank you.Jeremy Didier (00:23.47)Yeah, absolutely. Kristen thank you so much for putting this together. And Kristen always says that I'm the one who started everything, but that's not entirely true. Kristen has certainly been involved ever since the beginning. But I'll talk a little bit about why I started it, and then we can kind of go from there. Gosh, we were just talking. It's been, what, 12 years now since we started ADHDKC. It seems like not that long ago and like longer ago, actually, the more that I think about it.Gosh, so let's see. Our son Theo was our first child to be diagnosed with ADHD. And he was like three, almost four, I think, when he was diagnosed. And he's 20 now. So if you do the math, we didn't necessarily start our ADHD KC journey right when he was diagnosed. It took a couple of years. But as a mom with three young kids at the time, almost four, and one kid who behaved very differently from his peers. And.from his siblings and from, you know, most people that I knew, their kids were not doing the same things that Theo was doing at home. And, you know, he he the classic ADHD presentation. I mean, like ran out into streets, jumped out of trees. Absolutely no fear, no regard for his safety or anyone else's. And, you know, we were a little freaked out, I'll be honest. He was a pretty physical kid too. And I just needed people to talk to. You know, I found CHADD online,which, gosh, when I think back to what the internet looked like, that was probably 14 or 15 years ago. And they said you could start a CHADD chapter if you wanted to have a parent support group. And our, I guess, psychologist at the time, Carla Allen, who was at Children's Mercy's ADHD clinic, had also recommended that we do something called the Summer Treatment Program with Theo. And she had talked about CHADD as well and what a benefit it had been for some of the families that she'd worked with in Florida.And ironically, Florida is where CHADD started. And that was, you know, it was started by a group of parents just sitting around the kitchen table who wanted to advocate for their kids who had ADHD and thought they'd just start a group. And, you know, it's grown into this incredibly influential nonprofit organization that we know today. But from my perspective, the best thing about CHADD is, you know, the local chapters and the local community. And,Jeremy Didier (02:41.55)I needed other people to talk to and I tell Kristen this and I'm not embarrassed about it. You know, it was purely self -serving. I needed to know that there were other people who had, you know, things going on in their house that looked something like what was going on in my house because I was feeling like a really bad mom. And I knew I didn't know what I was doing, but I wanted to learn. You know, I wanted to figure out how to do things differently. And I also wanted to know that there were other people who were learning as well.as well as talking to people who had kind of been there, done that, you know, so to know that things could get better and likely would get better and, you know, what helped those things get better. And so, you know, it turned out there wasn't a CHADD chapter or really any kind of ADHD support at the time in Kansas City. There had been one. I think they had kind of stopped meeting maybe five or so years before we started. And so we were just fortunate that we were in the right place at the right time. And,My good friend, Kristen, who was also our pediatrician at the time and does not have ADHD, was kind enough to come and help out. And then I don't know why, how we convinced her to keep coming back, but she did. And so that was the beginning. You know, we we off running it as a business really, because nobody in Kansas City knew what CHADD- Who's CHADD? What's CHADD?So we thought if we called it like ADHDKC, you know, Kansas City's CHADD chapter, then we could kind of, you know, spread the word and we set up our own stuff. And the great thing about CHADD at the time was that, you know, they gave you some support in terms of chapter creation and how you ran it. But you could also kind of do not whatever you wanted, but you had a lot of flexibility. And so that was great. And we had, we started meeting in libraries, you know, kind of like around the kitchen table sort of thing. And.trying to figure out if we wanted it to be like a true support group or if we wanted it to be like a psychoeducational group or have speakers come and talk about things. And we tried a bunch of different things, I think, over the years. We started out just having the parent group, right? And then it just grew from there. Do you want to take it from there and talk about what happened after, as we kind of got bigger and added on more groups?Kristen Stuppy, MD (04:48.077)Right?Kristen Stuppy, MD (04:56.653)Well, the parent group has remained very similar in structure where we have a speaker who introduces a topic, talks about it, and the people who are there can also talk and ask questions and identify with other people, find their tribe kind of stuff. And then we also, we had people who wanted to talk just among adults and women specifically. So we've started an adults group for adults and their partners with ADHD and a women's group.Jeremy Didier (05:13.55)Mm -hmm.Jeremy Didier (05:18.766)Yeah.Jeremy Didier (05:25.006)Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.Kristen Stuppy, MD (05:26.317)Those are structured very different than the parent group. Those are structured with a moderator who is either a coach or a therapist, psychologist, and they have a topic to talk about, but the people in the group talk about those things. And those groups have been very popular. They had to stop when everything shut down with the pandemic because they were small groups live. Originally the person leading was meeting in aJeremy Didier (05:29.71)Yeah.Jeremy Didier (05:43.758)Mm -hmm.Kristen Stuppy, MD (05:55.629)church room and that has never resumed. But we've had others, different moderators who do different things and each group kind of takes its own little flavor. But those have been very popular. And then I have been involved with the teen group when actually, Jeremy, in a minute you can talk about the Midwest ADHD Conference. The original one. When that was happening, we introduced the teen group.Jeremy Didier (06:05.87)Yeah.Jeremy Didier (06:11.119)Mm -hmm.Jeremy Didier (06:15.566)The original one. Yep.Kristen Stuppy, MD (06:24.333)that was for middle school, high schoolers. And this was something that both of us having children who were at the time teens, my daughter really wanted a teen group. She saw how active I was with the CHADD chapter and how I talked about it helping parents. And she's like, kids need this, teens need this. They want this kind of information for themselves. So,Jeremy Didier (06:32.078)Yes. You grow well.Jeremy Didier (06:49.742)Mm -hmm.Kristen Stuppy, MD (06:51.309)we introduced that with a panel of teens ranging from a middle schooler all the way through an upcoming or just recent graduate from high school. So that panel was great to have those kids talk about themselves growing up and learning about ADHD from their perspective. And parents could ask questions at that conference. And then from that, we started the teen group, which is for middle school, high school kids.Jeremy Didier (07:00.782)Yeah.Jeremy Didier (07:12.686)Absolutely.Kristen Stuppy, MD (07:21.165)And initially that was set up similar to the parent group. And it was even at the same place, which I think we were at St. Joe's hospital at the time when that started, but we had two different rooms. The parents were in the bigger room and the teen group was in a room and we had a speaker lead it. Sometimes it was an activity where one time we did mindfulness. One time we did sensory things. We've done all kinds of different things where they could learn skills and that.Jeremy Didier (07:21.646)Okay.Jeremy Didier (07:31.022)Yup.Jeremy Didier (07:45.198)Mm -hmm.Jeremy Didier (07:49.742)I'm gonna go to bed.Kristen Stuppy, MD (07:50.541)also was very popular. And when the pandemic happened, the parent group and the teen group, the adults group, the women's group, all of them had to shut down. And...Jeremy Didier (08:00.622)Yeah.Kristen Stuppy, MD (08:03.149)you and I worked very hard to keep at least the parent and teen groups still going. So still recruiting speakers and having Zoom, which at the beginning, everybody really appreciated the Zoom. That was very popular. I think that fell out of favor. And when things started opening up, because I do a lot of the emails from our people.Jeremy Didier (08:05.39)What you did.Jeremy Didier (08:18.766)Yeah.Jeremy Didier (08:30.286)Mm -hmm. Yeah.Kristen Stuppy, MD (08:30.893)I was getting lots of requests to get back into in -person events. It took us a while, but we had lots of interest and I was excited to get back into it, hesitant in other ways, but excited to get back into it. And it's just never grown. I mean, our audiences have been, I don't know, maybe up to 50 people when we were having pre -pandemic, you think?Jeremy Didier (08:33.87)Yeah. Mm -hmm. Yep.Jeremy Didier (08:51.538)Yeah, depending on the topic and the speaker, I think it was rare to have a meeting where we had certainly fewer than 15 people, but we've had meetings where we had as many as like 75 or 100.Kristen Stuppy, MD (09:00.205)Right.Kristen Stuppy, MD (09:03.917)Yeah. So I think people got a lot out of that from going. And I think lives have shifted since then. We've gotten back into things, but I think we've just dove in and everybody is again over scheduled and it's just hard.Jeremy Didier (09:08.206)Yeah.Jeremy Didier (09:12.43)Mm -hmm.Jeremy Didier (09:19.126) And I think, I mean, this is like a common challenge. I think, you know, know, we have like CHADD CHADD meetings, everybody talks about, you know, how is it going in person? And, you know, I think most, not just CHADD chapters, I think lots of, you know, support groups or organizations like ours are, you know, challenged to get people to come in person just because, you know, lives are busy. You have kids who have some special needs, you know, they have the neurodiversities and...That means that life can be a little up and down. It's hard to be consistent sometimes. If someone's having a meltdown or a bad day, some days you just can't do it. And more often than not, I think people come to us when they're in crisis. And once things kind of even out and you get a little more stable at home, on the one hand, maybe that makes better sense then to start.me coming in person. But more often than not, people are like, okay, now I can do like fun things. And so that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to be able to come in person to the support groups then either. So I don't know, I think it's important to keep the in -person option out there. I think it's you get something different out of being there in person and, you know, connecting with other people who are going through what you're going through. There'snothing quite like that. But I'm also a person who signs up for webinars knowing I can't attend the actual webinar, but wanting to watch the recording later. And so do I ever actually watch the recording? Not very often, but I like knowing it's there. In case I want to.Kristen Stuppy, MD (10:48.461)we do have people who actually watch, because we can track that. We can track how many views. And people do watch the recorded sessions that we have continued to keep offering. So I do know the word's getting out there. But I guess what I'd like in part from this session is to hear from people how they would like to learn. And I don't know if there are any comments coming up at all yet. I don't see them.Jeremy Didier (10:51.99)that's true.Jeremy Didier (10:56.142)Mm -hmm.Yeah. Yeah.Jeremy Didier (11:12.846)I don't see any right now, but I'm checking the CHADD on my phone to see if anybody's posted anything. So if you're watching live, please go ahead and post a question in the comment section and we'll be happy to answer it. And if for some reason you're watching us recorded, shoot us an email or message us through the Facebook portal or through Instagram or send us an email at which email do you want to use, Kristen, the ADHDKC one or the teen one? Pick an ADHDKC one.Kristen Stuppy, MD (11:39.693)The ADHDKC one is fine she can't see Jeremy Didier (11:42.318)Yeah, email us and we'll get right back to you if you have a recommendation.Kristen Stuppy, MD (11:46.477)If you're a member of our newsletter. When we send out newsletters, you can reply to that. And it goes to me as well. That's maybe an easy way or from our website, adhdkc .org, which is probably the easiest one to find. You can comment or send a question through that on the comments.Jeremy Didier (11:52.11)Yeah, that's perfect.Jeremy Didier (11:59.406)Yeah.Jeremy Didier (12:03.374)Yeah, that would be great because we'd love feedback. I mean, good, bad, you know, suggestions, recommendations, you know, because we have been doing this a while. And I mean, you see young kids all the time because of what you do for work. But our kids are older now. And so there may be some things out there that we're unaware of that that we would like to that you would like us to incorporate that we may not have known was a thing. So definitely let us know. I think we get a lot of questions about when the meetings are, where the meetings are.you know, and suggestions over time about where we can have the meetings and what nights and what days to have the meetings. And we're generally open to moving things around. But like you said, it's hard if we move the meeting to a different location and then no one shows up. You know, so for a while there, I think we kind of scheduled things that were convenient for us because this is not a paid gig. We do this on a purely volunteer basis and we both have day jobs. And so, yeah.We try to do the things that we hope are going to reach the most people. But ultimately, if reaching the most people also involves the place that's closest to our houses and works for us, sometimes we're going to err on that side too. But we have an incredible professional advisory board. I think that's been one of the really great things about our group is that so many clinicians and educators and even people in law enforcement and attorneys andYou know, all walks of life are passionate about helping other people with ADHD, whether they have ADHD themselves or they have kids with ADHD or they, you know, their job is working with people who have ADHD. Our professional advisory board has been just incredible at helping us spread the word and also being, you know, amazing speakers and, you know, volunteering to staff different locations when we have meetings, because it does take, you know, it's not just us, you know, we.There's the speaker and then someone needs to greet people. And so we're always looking for volunteers. So if you're interested in volunteering at a meeting, definitely let us know that as well. Let's see. What am I missing? ADHD coverage? Go ahead.Kristen Stuppy, MD (14:07.541)Well, you brought up that we're going to try to branch out and try different locations because we have been so fortunate to have Horizon Academy who has allowed us to use two of their rooms every time we meet there. They do not charge us, which is fantastic. It does require one of their staff to stay there late and help keep the doors open. It's not a super convenient place. It's not off a highway. It'sJeremy Didier (14:21.226)Yeah.Jeremy Didier (14:26.51)Yes.Mm -hmm. Yep.Kristen Stuppy, MD (14:36.269)It's not convenient for many people. It is fairly central in the Kansas City area. More north than where I live, but it's closer to where other people live. So we've struggled with getting attendance there though. So we're going to try something new in August.Jeremy Didier (14:37.966)Mm -hmm.Jeremy Didier (14:41.774)Yeah, it's not easy to get to. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.Jeremy Didier (14:56.27)Yeah, I'm excited. We're going to try a new location, right?Kristen Stuppy, MD (14:59.149)try a new location. And so we'll see how that works. And, you know, when we used to move around with libraries, we would get to different places around similar areas, but different libraries to hit different areas. I guess zip codes to get closer to different people. Those are hard to schedule. You can only schedule three months in advance and getting two rooms at the same time to do the teen and the parent was difficult.Jeremy Didier (15:00.91)See how that goes. Yeah.Jeremy Didier (15:11.278)Mm -hmm.Jeremy Didier (15:16.558)Congratulations. Yeah. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.Jeremy Didier (15:28.366)Right. And I think.Kristen Stuppy, MD (15:29.293)So that's when I think Horizon started being used. When we really started wanting the...Jeremy Didier (15:33.262)Yeah, and they've been so gracious. And I mean, that's, you know, their student population is our community. And so it's a lovely, you know, we kind of dovetail together, I think, quite nicely, because we have very similar missions and similar passions. And yeah, we can't thank them enough for everything that they've done to help ADHD, KC be successful. And, you know, if you ever, yeah, they're just, they're phenomenal. You know, St. Joe was great when we were meeting at St. Joe Hospital, because it was, you know, kind ofkind of centrally located, but also really easy on, easy off the highway. And they were letting us be there free for a while, but then, you know, like many places, they have to start charging for the meeting rooms. I think more people were vying over that place. And so that makes sense, but you know, we're a nonprofit. We don't really have much money. And so we have a very, very little bit.Kristen Stuppy, MD (16:23.437)You can come for free though. You can come to all of our events for free.Jeremy Didier (16:27.15) free, yes. Although we do encourage you to be a CHADD member because becoming, you know, over 50 % of your CHADD membership fee comes back to the chapter. So if you identify, you know, ADHDKC as your local CHADD chapter, we actually get half of that feedback and we can put it towards programming or put it towards events or put it towards, you know, maybe staffing, I don't know, having a paid volunteer at some point or having snacks or water bottles or.you know, additional maybe Instagram ads or Facebook ads or, you know, some way to.Kristen Stuppy, MD (16:58.829)for a scholarship to go to the national job meeting. We've talked about.Jeremy Didier (17:01.934) better scholarships to go to the National CHADD Meeting, which I just have to plug really quickly because if you're not aware, and I'm super excited about it, at the 88, it's the International Conference on ADHD because it's not just CHADD anymore. We've joined forces with with ADA, which is ADHD, the ADHD Organization for Adults, and ACO, which is the ADHD coaching organization to create one big, fabulous conference. And it's in Anaheim this year, in November. And our, you know, our keynote speaker, theThe one that I'm most excited about is Penn Holderness, the Holderness family that you see on, you know, he's everywhere. They're hilarious. And we just, I'm so, so excited. And then Kansas City's very own Sasha Hamdani is going to be there. People don't realize that she's here in Kansas City, but she's written a very famous book, has a huge following on social media last year or the year before she was CHADD's, you know, up and coming, you know, influencer of the year and just a phenomenal physician.And then is it Kojo, Dr. Kojo? I'm not as familiar with him, but he's our third keynote presenter and he'll be there as well. So lots of incredible information. If you've never been to an ADHD conference, they are, there's nothing quite like it being around people where most everyone has ADHD. And you always make, you know, fast friends and you always come away with something that you didn't know before. And just a great time all around. And Early Bird registration opened, I think just last week and.end of last week and early bird pricing goes I believe until the end of July or maybe even the beginning of August so now's the time to sign up because it's much cheaper. So that was my plug for that.Kristen Stuppy, MD (18:38.669)That is awesome. I have been to only one CHADD conference, but it was amazing. There were so many talks. It was almost hard to choose which talk to attend at any given time. It was amazing. You will learn something if you were able to go.Jeremy Didier (18:48.846)Yeah, it can be overwhelming.Jeremy Didier (18:55.47)Yeah, without a doubt. And the reason Kristen went to that one was because that was one of the ones where we won an award, right? Didn't we win chapter? Yep. Chapter of the year. Yep. Well, I mean, you know, it was a good reason. Yeah.Kristen Stuppy, MD (19:02.541)This is true, yes. I didn't just go because of the award, but it was certainly a good motivator. Sometimes we need that motivator to get actually to something. Jeremy Didier (19:16.718)Family stuff. But I'll be there.Jeremy Didier (19:26.318)Ew. Yes, I know more than I need to know.Kristen Stuppy, MD (19:30.189)So in the 12 years that ADHDKC has been a chapter, she has been amazing at leading this chapter and not just this chapter, but also in the national level, really making some changes.Jeremy Didier (19:42.574)I appreciate that. Thank you for saying that, but I mean it. I mean, this has been more than a 50 -50 gig, you know, the entire time. I mean, you know, there was almost three years there where I went back and got my masters and Kristen pretty much ran the whole show. And I don't, you know, any of the marketing that you see from ADHDKC, any of the newsletters, the emails, our website, all of that is done by Kristen. And, you know, you're, I mean, I say it all the time. Is there anything you can't do? You're like, you have this very busy, like,pediatric practice and by day and then by night you're like, you know, doing webinars and, you know, creating programming for various organizations and then these just gorgeous marketing pieces for our social media and for all of our followers. I mean, I can't thank you enough for everything that you've done. It truly has been a joint effort. There's never been a time where it's been just me for sure. You've been there the whole time. We maybe do things at different levels and I think we compliment each other well. But.Kristen Stuppy, MD (20:39.373)I was just gonna say we balance each other out and complement each other very well. So.Jeremy Didier (20:43.342)We do. Yeah. People say, how are you guys so successful? And I say, you have to have one partner that has ADHD and one that doesn't. I don't think you have it. I know I really don't. We all have symptoms sometimes, but yeah, I mean, I think it'd be.Kristen Stuppy, MD (20:51.501)I've never been diagnosed, but I don't think I do either. But I am certainly, I see from my practice what people truly go through when they have ADHD and what my child went through growing up with ADHD. The little brain episodes that I have sometimes, I don't think of ADHD.Jeremy Didier (21:11.658)Right.Jeremy Didier (21:20.686)Yeah.Kristen Stuppy, MD (21:21.357)I do love helping people. And one of the reasons that I got involved so much with ADHD is of course, because as a parent of a child with ADHD, I realized that the stuff I learned in medical school wasn't all that she needed. She could take her medicine from her pediatrician, but that wasn't it. I needed support. I needed tips. And actually at the Midwest Conference that we need to get back to, I saw...Jeremy Didier (21:38.094)Yeah.Jeremy Didier (21:43.182)Mm -hmm.Jeremy Didier (21:48.526)yeah. Good.Kristen Stuppy, MD (21:49.997)I think that was the first time I saw Elaine and Diane talk from Impact Parents and what they said made such an impact on me as a parent, but then also helped me as a pediatrician, advise my patients and their parents a little differently. So these can be impactful even for people who know a little something. We can always learn a little something more. And so I think that's fantastic. But I don't know, do you want to talk about that Midwest Conference? Because that was a big deal.Jeremy Didier (22:05.774)Yeah.Jeremy Didier (22:12.526)Absolutely. Yeah. I mentioned. Yeah, I will, but I just remembered Elaine, actually, Taylor Klaus reached out to me on email last week and was like, it's been a long time since Diane and I have come to Kansas City. We'd like to come and.you know, speak for ADHD KC sometime in 2025, if you're open to it. And I was like, are you kidding me? You guys are coming to town. Heck yeah. Let me know when you want to come. So we'll definitely promote the heck out of that. Cause if you, if you're not familiar with Impact Parents and formerly Impact ADHD, they are ADHD parent coaches and they just, they do a phenomenal job. And while we were, we're, we're CHADD, we can't endorse or recommend or, you know, say that we.prefer one program over another. I can't step back a little bit and just give you their history and tell you how influential I think they've been in terms of shaping parent training, which is one of the recommendations when your kid is diagnosed with ADHD, particularly if they're young, is to go through some parent behavior training, because it's awful hard to train five -year -olds. I think it's a lot easier to train.Trained parents. And they were one of the first, you know, really, I think pioneers in ADHD parent coaching. So if you get the opportunity to hear them, I highly encourage you to do so. But yeah, gosh, the Midwest ADHD Conference, what an incredible accomplishment that was. You know, looking back, I can't, I really can't believe we pulled it off. The late Chris Dendy was hugely instrumental in putting that together because her good friend Russ Barkley was,really, really who we wanted to come and talk. And she gave him a call and said, hey, my friend Jeremy in Kansas wants you to come and talk to her ADHDKC group. And he agreed to come and do like two days of presentations. And the data that we talk about now about people with ADHD having a decreased life expectancy of up to 13 years, not many people realize this, but he shared that for the first time he released that data was at our conference.Kristen Stuppy, MD (24:18.381)I did not know that.Jeremy Didier (24:18.638) it later on a much grander scale, like at the ADHD conference in the fall and at APSAR. But the original Midwest ADHD conference was where he first released it. And yeah, it just kind of gives gives chills to think about because it was such a great conference. We had Christendi Chris Dendy and Elaine and Diane came and Alan Brown, and we had a few other people that came and presented.just it was like all the planets aligned, we were able to offer CEUs. And I think it was like a year after that, that CHADD received a grant from the CDC to put together regional centers so that, you know, one to reach underserved areas, you know, and provide better access to information about ADHD and providers with ADHD, but also to kind of help streamline the chapter structure. And so, you know, we talked about doing it again and, you know, maybe every two or three years and, you know,The Midwest region was actually the first region that was formed for CHADD. And they're like, we'll do a true Midwest ADHD conference. And so the past couple of years, the Midwest ADHD conference has been in Iowa. But they're going to move it around, I think, coming up. So we haven't gotten to do anything nearly quite as grand as we did then. But wow, that was such a great, great conference, wasn't it?Kristen Stuppy, MD (25:42.317)That was, it was amazing. And for it all to be here made it easy and we had, I don't know how many people there, but just the knowledge shared that weekend was amazing.Jeremy Didier (25:50.99)hundreds.Jeremy Didier (25:54.926)It was, yeah. I want to say, you know, I'm bad with the numbers and the visuals. It was more than 500 people, I want to say, that attended. But in my mind, it was like 5 ,000. It just seemed like it was a lot. We did, yeah. The Overland Park Convention Center was really, really great about, yeah. You know, we need to add lunch because I need food. So.Kristen Stuppy, MD (26:08.205)We filled a good conference room. That was, that was.Kristen Stuppy, MD (26:19.277)But with these regional chapters now, or regional groups, there is a lot of talk about sharing speakers. So because so many things are online, when we have our talks, we invite other local, or not local, but other Midwest chapters to join in, invite their members. And then we are also inviting our members to their chapter meetings that are available online. And that's...Jeremy Didier (26:23.79)Regional Center.Jeremy Didier (26:27.694)resources. Yes.youJeremy Didier (26:45.261)Mm -hmm. Yeah.Kristen Stuppy, MD (26:47.085)of our special events page. All of the chapters are now listed out there and some of them aren't even in our region but in California or other places where they've invited anyone because with Zoom you can join from anywhere. It might not be an ideal time zone for you but you can enjoy. So.Jeremy Didier (26:54.67)Yeah.Jeremy Didier (27:00.654)Anywhere. Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up because one of the things that, you know, like, I love getting emails from other chapters about the things that they're doing. And I'm like, I want to go to that. I want to go to that. But then I forget. And so I know one of the things that we wanted to talk about was like, how often do people want to get notified about things? You're like, no one likes to get multiple emails, you know, weekly or daily, but I don't know, maybe if we have like a specialPersonally, I know I need reminders and like I'm an adult with ADHD and while I know ADHD looks different in everyone, my guess or my suspicion is that there are other adults out there with ADHD who do the same thing. They're like, I want to go to that. And then they get distracted and forget to sign up for it so that you really need like the follow -up email or two to kind of lock in and at least register even if you just want the recording. So I don't know. What do you think? Do you think that?Most people, what's your impression in terms of what a good balance is for emails or communications? Text.Kristen Stuppy, MD (28:05.229)I'm not a marketing person. I'm a pediatrician. I just kind of jumped into this marketing thing. Well, but I don't really know the background of it. I have historically tried to keep it to one newsletter a month because I know people complain about too many emails. But when the water main broke for the women's group last month, we had to send out an emergency email and we had so many additional people sign up.Jeremy Didier (28:08.654)Yeah.You're so good at it.Jeremy Didier (28:16.526)Yeah.Jeremy Didier (28:22.958)next.Jeremy Didier (28:28.27)yeah!Yeah.Kristen Stuppy, MD (28:34.669)and show up to that meeting. So I'm wondering if we should send out this, you know, alert kind of messaging of each individual thing. So people will be getting more emails and I would like to hear from you guys, whether it's if you're here live listening or if you're watching recording, would that annoy you and have you unsubscribed from our newsletter? Because I don't want to lose subscribers if we're sending too many out.Jeremy Didier (28:35.086)Interesting.Jeremy Didier (28:42.766)I like that.Mm -hmm.Jeremy Didier (28:52.814)Yes.Jeremy Didier (28:58.734)Yeah.Kristen Stuppy, MD (29:02.093)But since that Waterman break, I also sent one that following week for the adults group because I thought, hey, it worked for the women's group and the adults group still had chairs. So they had a few more people sign up. And so I'm thinking about trying it again for the July, actually the July parent and teen groups are meeting together. So, and yours truly is talking about mindfulness. I'm so pumped about mindfulness.Jeremy Didier (29:02.542)Right?Jeremy Didier (29:12.566)How about that?Jeremy Didier (29:21.65)Yes. And it's mindfulness. Super amazing. But most people with ADHD are like, there's no way in heck I can do a mindfulness thing. And I'm telling you, you can. And Kristen's presentation is absolutely phenomenal and it will convince you. Hugely helpful.Kristen Stuppy, MD (29:37.549)Well, yeah, it's actually been shown to be one of the things that can help you retrain your brain to focus again. That's what's so cool about it. It changes gray matter. It changes chromosomes. I mean, like it changes things, which blows my mind. So for those of you who want natural treatment, this is something that has evidence behind it that is completely natural and could be free if you just focus on breathing. But there are apps and things that you might have to pay for. So anyway, we'll talk about that in my talk. But I do want to hear from you guys.Jeremy Didier (29:41.902)Yes, neuroplasticity. Yeah.Jeremy Didier (29:48.334)It's amazing. Amazing. Yes. So cool.Jeremy Didier (29:59.534)Yeah.Jeremy Didier (30:04.942)Definitely.Kristen Stuppy, MD (30:07.309)how often would be too much where you would just like pull the cord and just unsubscribe because I don't want people to unsubscribe.Jeremy Didier (30:13.998)Right. Yeah. Do we have an option where, you know, some places you can like say, which, which emails or newsletters do you want to get? Do you want to get the monthly one? Do you want to get, you know, the, I don't know, women only one? So everybody gets like the monthly one, the big one. But then, you know, people get some subscribes to get different reminders for ones. You know, if you want to just get reminders for the adult group meeting or just reminders for the apparent group meeting, I don't know if we have that option yet.Kristen Stuppy, MD (30:37.933)I think in theory, Substack allows that. We are currently using Substack because it's free. We outgrew our MailChimp free. We have too many subscribers, which is a great thing. But again, we are offering a lot for very little money. The more people we have who actually join Chad, CHADD, guess the more money we will have. But historically, most of the people who come to our meetings and follow us are not official Chad CHADD So.Jeremy Didier (30:53.582)Yes.Kristen Stuppy, MD (31:06.957)We don't have a lot of funds, so paying for a newsletter that probably offers more bells and whistles is not necessarily on the table.Jeremy Didier (31:07.31)Which is fine. Yeah.Jeremy Didier (31:15.566)Yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. Good to know. Sometimes we have people make donations for specific things. So maybe that could happen. And one of the things that I've been looking into more, you know, at least in the national level is our grants, you know, and there's definitely some local Kansas City, Kansas, Missouri grants that are out there to support neuro inclusive spaces and education and workplaces. And so,Kristen Stuppy, MD (31:16.781)alone.I think so.Jeremy Didier (31:43.054)Yeah, if anyone wants to volunteer to write a grant or apply for a grant for us, that would be a huge help. Or if you work for an organization that's just trying to give money away, we'd be happy to help you out there as well. That's right. Why not? Let's see. What haven't we touched on that you want to touch on? We're coming up on a little bit after the top of the hour.Kristen Stuppy, MD (31:55.565)Get that plug in there. Love it.Kristen Stuppy, MD (32:05.149)we are. I guess, where do people want us to focus our reminders? Do you prefer emails? Would you prefer one of the social media things? Currently, we have Facebook and Instagram. Our Twitter account has never really been very busy and I don't get on X anymore. Do people prefer other things? I don't see the two of us doing TikToks, so please don't recommend that one.Jeremy Didier (32:11.246)Mmm.Jeremy Didier (32:31.726)Never know. Our team group, right?Kristen Stuppy, MD (32:33.965)do the little dancing. Maybe. We currently don't have any teen leaders. That's one thing we used to have before the pandemic is we had teen leaders where teens who were motivated and wanted to help got service hours and helped us out setting up rooms. And we had one who did some of our social media graphic stuff because she was interested in graphic design. We have all kinds of opportunities if people would want to do something.Jeremy Didier (32:41.102)yeah.Jeremy Didier (32:50.222)Mm -hmm.Jeremy Didier (32:58.798)Yeah.Kristen Stuppy, MD (33:02.893)They can volunteer as teens or parents, adults, things like that.Jeremy Didier (33:03.246)Mm -hmm.Right. And that's a great resume builder too. I mean, in addition to, you know, obviously getting the, you know, the feel good piece of it and getting, you know, more information about your, you know, your own ADHD and how it impacts your life. I mean, there are several other organizations and I wish we did this at CHADD. And in fact, that's another thing that I'm trying to get past is, you know, have like teen ambassadors, you know, where you go to the conference.or you have a separate teen conference and it's all about reaching other teenagers with ADHD and talking about all the things that come up when you're in high school with ADHD and how your peers handle it and how your parents can help and what teachers can be doing better and differently to support you. And so, yeah, we'd love to have more teen volunteers and hopefully, since I am the CHADD president right now.We're kind of uniquely positioned, I think, to be a beta site for the Teen Ambassador Program. So yeah, if you're interested or you're watching this and you have a teenager that's interested or a teenager that's not interested but that you would like to, you know, kick out of the house every now and then to pick up a volunteer gig, let us know and we can definitely figure out a way to make it worth their while because what a great experience. I wish I'd have even a fraction of the knowledge that I have.I think our kids that are now adults, which is terrifying, would agree. A lot of the things that they learned about their own ADHD over the years, I think, if they'd had that information earlier or understood what that meant earlier or how to advocate for themselves earlier, it would have made a big difference.Kristen Stuppy, MD (34:42.381)There are studies that show that when people understand, they are much better at managing. So it's getting that information out there is what we want to do. We want to meet people where they are. So we want to hear physically where you would want us to hold meetings. And we would be interested. We can't obviously have it everywhere for every person. There are logistical things there, but we're willing to hear all of your thoughts about that.Jeremy Didier (34:49.514)Yeah. Yeah.Jeremy Didier (35:06.478)Great.Kristen Stuppy, MD (35:12.237)When we send messaging out, how would you want us to send those messages? How many emails, how many social media posts, which social media platforms? Is there another way that we're not thinking about?Jeremy Didier (35:25.486)Text reminders, I mean, I don't know if a text reminder is something that might be helpful. Yeah, I don't know if we're set up to do that or how much it costs to have like a kind of a Robotext thing. One of the things we talked about in this, I mean, it sounds a little scary, but I think it's actually a great idea is having people commit to paying if they're gonna come in person. So let's say, it'll be a $30 charge on your credit card to come in person, but if you show up, we refund the charge to you.So it's just kind of a way of making sure that people show up. You know, we don't want to take your money. I mean, we will, but we'd much rather have people come and, you know, hear the speaker, you know, and get their money back. But, you know, if that's...Kristen Stuppy, MD (36:04.589)It's really disheartening, I think. When people sign up, we might have a list of 10, 15 people. And once we only had one family show up, like one. And that was really dejecting, I think, for the speaker because she had prepared something that was interactive with multiple people and she couldn't really do that. And so if we're expecting a large group, it would be nice if a large group shows.Jeremy Didier (36:10.702)50 people. Yeah.Yeah. Yeah.Jeremy Didier (36:22.926)Mm -hmm.Yeah, it was hard.Kristen Stuppy, MD (36:33.293)And then if nobody signs up because it's not the right date, time, location, then we know that and we cancel that. And that is much preferred. So if people put their money where their mouth is, I think that actually might help people remember to do it because it won't be an atrocious fee. It won't be $200, but it still won't be just, you know, a dollar. It'll be something. Yeah.Jeremy Didier (36:33.582)Yeah.Jeremy Didier (36:37.806)cancel it.Jeremy Didier (36:50.67)No, it wouldn't be like two bucks. Yeah. It'll be enough to where it'll, I mean, it'll sting a little bit to lose, you know, if you don't show up kind of thing, but not so much that, you know, it's outrageous. but that's, we haven't instituted that yet and that's just something that we're kind of kicking around, but I kind of love the idea. Cause for me as a person with ADHD, you know, five bucks, I probably will be like, it's five bucks, which.It doesn't mean that I have like five bucks to lose. It just means it doesn't hurt as much, but like 30 bucks is, you know, at 30 bucks I'm not going to blow off, you know, several times probably.Kristen Stuppy, MD (37:25.037)And there would be an out. Like if something happens, you can cancel, but fine.Jeremy Didier (37:26.958)Yeah, if you can't come, cancel 24 hours ahead of time or something, or we'll figure it out. We haven't figured out those details yet, but I think, yeah, we'd love for you to be there. That's the key piece. We don't want to be charging people for it. We want you to come and hear the speaker, and we want our speakers to know that their time is being rewarded as well, because we don't pay our speakers, they're all volunteers also. And they do it for the same reasons that we do. They have a family member with ADHD, they have ADHD, or they're...Occupation is ADHD connected and they just want to share what they know and help other people.Kristen Stuppy, MD (38:02.989)I just checked some comments and there aren't any. So either we're answering all your questions or people are gonna hopefully watch later and get us their thoughts on what all the things we talked about. So.Jeremy Didier (38:03.662)I know because we're answering all the questions.Jeremy Didier (38:14.83)That'd be great. Yeah. Cool. Kristen, thank you for putting this together. I think this has been great and hopefully very informative and helpful for people who are interested in either getting involved or learning more about ADHDKC or wanting to connect with us.Kristen Stuppy, MD (38:29.773)And if people can't tell, both Jeremy and I are super passionate about this. We want to help you. So let us know how we can help you.Jeremy Didier (38:37.23)Yes. Let us help you. Help us help you. All right. Thanks so much. Take care. Bye.Kristen Stuppy, MD (38:43.885)All right. Thank you. Bye -bye. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit adhdkc.substack.com