Air Out My Shorts

It is the Tenth Anniversary of the first ever episode of Air Out My Shorts and THE ROOF IS ON FIRE!! Eric Lehmann’s dyslexia leads to a fishy dish. James Bond... Made in Canada?? Pauly B Edwards hedges his bets on a real live girl, while The Right Rev Chumley LIVES THE DREAM of copyright-infringement-free costume carving.

The King and Queen of “The Slush Pile” muse about their retirement and plug their much anticipated autobiography (celebratory parade to be held somewhere in Nawlins - TBA!). Fenwick Rixey sloughs off an unresolved secondhand tale of gay robs and fishy bitches. Dean shatters his dreamy image, but his wife picks up the smouldering pieces. Cyber smoke signals appreciated: 305-600-5832

Buttons and The Whore reminisce about the dampening properties of Link’s DNA. DocZim stocks the mailbag, but risks a polite 10-Minute Canadian Shanking. Brian Lieberman readies himself for a soulless career and a B-DOOMED future family, but he’s ALL GROWED UP NOW and we think he’s gonna kick some serious A55!

Seasons Greetings, to all, from Preston Buttons and The Word Whore. Thank you for your valued story submissions and your continued listenership. HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Please Call: 305-600-5832

Preston pretends to know nothing about picking through historical shit, while The Word Whore yanks her OWN chain …just a little too hard. TTN’s Scott STEALS (and then messes with) priceless Artifacts. MaxMax chimes in… literally. CALL NOW: 305-600-5832

MaxMax serves up some swingin’ (yet, very unclear) alliterated alcopop. Banacek’s grasp of THE NEW 'promotional machine’ is as fuzzy as the machine itself. The Whore claims to have never put 'lips to rim’, despite what’s dribbling down her chin. Buttons ruins Christmas.

Doczim lets Buttons and The Whore play with his fuzzy little “Hellspawn", against his fuzzy little ‘better judgements’. Orange is the new Navy. Twitter is the new Electro-Mechanical Rotor Cipher Machine. Here, Kitty Kitty.

Something long and white and wriggling spews up from the mailbag, courtesy of ExParrot… it’s charming! Preston indulges his poly-curious wife, every other week, and The Word Whore sprouts a second head. Dodecahedron!

Preston keeps his poor muttering 'missus' chained to the stove, without any ice-cream. Nobilis Reed pounds out "Lights in the Sky”. Dreamy Dean lets everyone down, again. The Word Whore fears she is being watched. And nobody breaks out in song.

Buttons gushes endlessly about bonding with TTN’s Scott, in Chicago, over pizza... it’s deep! Carter Lee’s Blood Fire Apes wish their mojo had never risen from the silent safety of the bag. Disco Lou set to marry his high school sweetheart... again! The Word Whore can no longer settle for Plan D.

Hobbits and Dwarves and Trolls... Oh My!! Preston Buttons and The Word Whore make a steaming-hot-mess-pile of "O'Malley and The Gnome" by MaxMax. Dreamy Dean's aging rock-n-roll balls are holding up quite well, despite winter's bitter chill and Benicio Del Toro's firm grip.

For Preston Buttons, true romance is best served shrink-wrapped and vacuum-packed. Mike Dominic's purple prose dangles meatily from his giant Presbyterian plunger. The Whore Whore fearfully awaits the wrath of The French... and some people actually called the codio-aumment line!!!

The Official AOMS Drinking Game has resurfaced! Preston Buttons hangs up his air guitar. Witch Doctors attack The Word Whore with an airborne shoehorn. The thrilling conclusion of Brian (BDOOMED) Lieberman's "Atrophy and Apathy" is aired out... AND the winner of the first ever Air Out My Shorts Summer Raffle, ever, is announced!!!

Preston Buttons goes into labor. The Word Whore just can't get a grip. Brian Lieberman has a bad case of the varsity blues (or what would be referred to on the Mediocre Show as "white people problems"), in part one of the promised BDOOMED graduation episode special. Disco Lou voulez-effin-vous his way around Europe. Meh!

The Word Whore throws up in public and there is much rejoicing! Doczim bends over backwards to bring us another PLOT PLUNGER plunge, but he buggers it all up. While Banacek claims to be recovering quite well from his latest marriage, he's already seeking out "the widow maker". Hotness decreases with age... Go figure.

Mrs. Buttons becomes a Monk. Das Rad is Das Loud. Simon Green "Trolls" the Interwebs. Brian (B-Doomed) Lieberman is "all growed up" and making his generous parents proud by dabbling in porn. Happy Birthday Word Whore!

Preston Buttons fancies himself an enlightened Renaissance Man. Katherine Heigl is the new Midol. Unlike The Word Whore, it would seem Nobilis Reed's new orally-gifted "Girlfiend" DOES have a tail. Despite high hopes, Angry Phone Guy stays in his box. Ribbit.

Buttons gets hot and wet and suddenly becomes much more interesting to The Word Whore. MaxMax 'tickles the fancy' of the wrong rodents, but it's consensual. Layers of Freudian layers are peeled, as The Mediocre Show's "Lady Tomorrow" makes The Whore all warm and fuzzy. Disco Lou gets old. Run Cannon, Run.

Buttons puts a sock on it. Kevin Smith makes The Whore sad. Tim (Rhys!) Davies deletes his first draft and "counts", instead, on his cleaning woman's succulent lobes. Steve Eley scrapes a dead gecko off The Word Whore's boob, but steers clear of her vestigial tail.

All the veils drop as Preston Buttons and The Word Whore scratch their seven-year itch, commit a few deadly sins, and bring you all the wonders of the world on this 7th Anniversary episode of Air Out My Shorts. Steve (The General) Eley suffers from Penis Envy. Countless Argonauts stop Screaming. MaxMax gets on his high horse. More than seven braincells were harmed in the making of this podcast.

And so it begins... the Zombie Apocalypse: last one to the safe house is a (not-quite-yet) rotten egg! Joseph Jolton elects to give Preston a sore throat, cuz he isn't getting enough action at home. Herr Hardluck experiences a little car trouble on the MacArthur Causeway. If "love is all around", The Word Whore might just make it after all.

Preston Buttons likes dick, just a little more than The Whore does. A nice clean Dwarf named Hortenfangle takes a tasty little Plot Plunge... MEDIC!! Ryan Saunders claims ownership of Steve Eley's snot. Amber agrees to get naked, if The Word Whore will tell her what to do. TTN's Scott strangles a cat.

AOMS 2012 "Come Back Tour" kicks off in NYC (with KATG) and crashes near Chicago, after plundering TTN's 250th Episode. Thomas Sullivan writes in on fancy new fangled post-its. The Whore doesn't know SHIT from SHINOLA when it comes to baseball, but she's certain Bass Players do always come second (Lead Singers consistently get first crack). Buttons takes a whiz in the TARDIS.

TWW doesn't take kindly to the role of damsel in distress, but Sir Micheal Beckwith rides in on his trusty steed to stave off a close call "pod fade" and to spur AoMS back into lackluster action. Buttons drives like an old woman.

Although Lagomorph's "Plausible Reality" reads more like inconceivable fantasy, it leaves an unbleachable mark on The Word Whore's soul. "The General" (S. F. Eley) artfully ESCAPES his Salinger-esque reclusion, just to pop Preston's three-way cherry.

Buttons and The Whore play catch up, but the refrigerator gets away and the freezer remains a challenge. Preston falls under the EMO spell of Macedo's (muh-SAY-doe's) "Bad Kids". Angry Phone Guy rails against becoming The Word Whore's mule.

Turns out Mama's squeezebox and Papa's brand new bag are one in the same. The theme thong does belong in the toilet. The Whore debuggers censorship, Hashashan rebells, and Miss Holloway designs a tissue dispenser worthy of the cover of Good Housekeeping.

The Whore struggles with a mouthful of metal, while getting rubbed the wrong way by alotta vegetable shortening. Buttons brings all the gadgets to the party, but his tiny fingers can't do the walking. Professor Swayze picks Full Monty over Peeping Tom. Banacek explores his hungry Episcopalian side.

This Halloween, The Word Whore talks about something totally else. Buttons finally erases his head. Hugh O'Donnell airs out his North American armpit and his 85 year old meat. Keith McNally --afraid of heights and of taking a shot in the dark-- exhibits no fear of being on top.

The Word Whore is a teeny tiny bit WAY TOO DRUNK, but that's another story. Still, Astromat is kind enough to take time out from "The War" to launder her pants after a night of level one cow tipping. Buttons finds time to stop and smell the roses, even after Metamucil.

Buttons likes brown butts and he cannot lie. The Whore's family tree is infested. The Countless Screaming Argonauts conduct experiments on a plethora of penguin droppings. 191 Randall Crescent checks his teeth at the door, so he can speak fluent trailer park.

The Word Whore is Cee Lo Green with envy that Jacquetta COULD have it: it was in her face and she DID grab it. A pudgy little man, with a head for radio, helps Just-a-Joe give "Swimming With Sharks" a Makeover. Buttons might know what love is, if only he could pass inspection and enjoy the go.

Buttons and The Whore walk like mummified Egyptians down memory-loss lane, but all roads lead to Rome. Jules Quinn takes a Nimbus MM to his "Writer's Block". Captain Peter (Easton) Wilkins rewinds back to MDCX to perform acts of Rock-n-Roll Piracy in front of the Prime Minister.

Five years down the drain, but Buttons and The Whore are flushed with excitement. Undarlegt reveals what's beneath his Icelandic pants, Banacek tries to C'Mon to Dreamy Dean, and Link drops a few Anniversary surprises.

Oh no, it's happening again! Buttons and The Whore get buzzed on Sesame Street, Hashashan gets cold feet, and nobody wants to even think about that Egg Hunt.

Preston wants to be a part of it, while The Whore just seems intimidated by Keith Malley's Triple Threat status and his new foray into Fine Art. Dave Stites is truly awesome, and also boasts true awesomeness, but he has clearly never given NOR received a BJ.

Buttons finally forces The Word Whore to examine his banana. Magic mushrooms in the shower cause recurring fungal flashbacks. Katie is a girl!! But, once she grows some balls, the evening is totally wasted.

Preston's semi-annual trip to the grocery store raises a few eyebrows. Mister A. Bell cuckolds the Drabblecast in three short spurts. Slurrishessly, the Word Whore ponders how often one should plug.

Having adopted Paganism for all the naked snakes, The Word Whore washes Preston's Catholic mouth out with the Blarney Stone. Z J Maplin stops being such a stranger - SCHWING! Party on, Whore. Party on, Buttons.

Buttons is a busy man. The Word Whore is very aware of her bathing suit area. MaxMax's candy-ass dragon mixes it with love-is-a-battlefield and makes the world taste like Cat Stevens.

Buttons stalks The Word Whore's Aunt. The Word Whore stalks James Purefoy. Life clocks are a lie. Carousel is a lie. Hair sniffing has never seemed so dirty. No one has to die at 30!

Buttons clenches. The Word Whore drifts. Jon and Scott still need tetanus shots, after pummel-assing a short hyena. Hashashan boom-boom-pows a buddy for a teriyaki tongue sandwich.

The Word Whore chastises children and smites sunflowers. Brian Lieberman offers a burnt sacrifice and snuffs a bush. Preston would sow some seeds, but he lacks the constant flow of nutrients to his stem.

Canada is big. Keith McNally gets a chance. Starman serves up a mean bottle of Mad Dog 20/20. Buttons is forced to find his voice, because The Word Whore's is infected.

With or without professional dancing bugs, Buttons might get old before he dies. The Word Whore Shatners all over Francis Scott Key and his little internet pimp too.

Buttons and The Whore suffer a minor story stroke and accidentally rehash Hashashan (complete with identical banter, all these "years" later). Thankfully, BDOOMED is on hand with the vaseline to help put it away wet... again.

Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't teach, counsel. Oh, the ironing! The Whore has sketchy memories of her noisy chinese roomate's strap-ons. Nobilis throws a hen party: pack a lunch, BYO (juice) Box.

The Word Whore likes it white and floppy. Dustin Manly loves to waggle his fishy bits, but finds it rather hard to smile with his pants down. Buttons takes an octuple shhhhhhh and swims in it.

Fancy butt bling settles Preston's upset stomach. The Word Whore (clearly under the influence of agrarian pharmaceuticals and cheese) plunders Hashashan's village, pillages the faux French Bible, and puts it all away wet.

Last call for monkeyishness! Buttons, well into his first trimester, fails to get the creative juices flowing under the tell-tale black-light. Doc Zim endeavors to erupt and fill the bag, just to hear The Whore gasp for air.