Akka's Unsolicited Advice

Send us Fan MailThere is an unwritten rulebook for being raised by a Tamil mom. We just never got a copy.In this episode, we review some of the rules we somehow all learned by osmosis—from superstitions you were never allowed to question, to the correct way to wash dishes, Tupperware return etiquette, what gifts are acceptable to give guests, and, for reasons we cannot explain, a surprisingly deep investigation into the merits of Ferrero Rocher.Basically, it’s a conversation about all the tiny, completely arbitrary rules that somehow became LAW in our households. We don't know who made them. We don't know why they exist. We just know we're following them.

Send us Fan MailFor some of us, summer vacation meant one thing: India.In this episode, Anjali and I talk about growing up with summers that revolved around trips to India. One of us was ready to stay home, the other couldn't wait to go. We compare our experiences, from spending summers with family to realizing that somehow every vacation plan can turn into a full-blown family vacation.We also talk about growing up in a family where travel was such a normal part of life that we were genuinely surprised to meet people who didn't have passports or hadn't traveled outside the country. And yet, despite all those trips to India, we've realized there are huge parts of the US, Europe, and South America that we haven't explored at all.Basically: we traveled everywhere... except where we live.

Send us Fan MailWhat’s it actually like having an Akka?For once, we’re hearing from the thambi. In this episode, we invited Dharshini's baby (he is an adult) brother, Mithran, to share his perspective on growing up with an older sister. He talks about what he learned from her example, the ways having an Akka shaped him, and the things he definitely did (and didn’t) appreciate about having an older sister. We talk about sibling dynamics, the advantages of being the younger one, and whether being the thambi really is as easy as we akkas like to think it is.

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when stories set in Tamil communities rarely center Tamil women?In this episode, we unpack how Tamil women are portrayed in Indian media—from being sidelined into supporting roles to having their pain used as a turning point for a male character's journey. We talk about beauty standards, representation, and why it's so rare to see women who actually look like us leading the story.We talk about what it means to grow up searching for yourself on screen and what changes could occur if Tamil women finally get to be the main character in their own stories.

Send us Fan MailFor once, the Akka giving the advice is the one answering the questions.In this flip-the-script episode, my cousins take over the interview chair to ask me about dating (or not dating), being single in my thirties, and navigating all the questions that seem to come with it. We talk about family expectations and what I'm actually looking for in a partner.Along the way, we unpack the pressure to meet life's milestones on everyone else's timeline, what it means to be happily single, and why knowing what you want isn't the same as being "too picky."Whether you're single, partnered, or just tired of answering the same questions at every family gathering, this episode is full of laughs, honest conversations, and proof that sometimes the person with all the questions deserves to answer a few too.

Send us Fan MailOur bodies have always seemed to be a topic of conversation, but should they be?In this episode, we talk about growing up in a culture where comments about weight, appearance, and body changes are often seen as normal conversation, even when they leave a lasting impact.From well-intentioned family remarks to the beauty standards reinforced within the Tamil community, we unpack how these messages shaped the way we viewed ourselves, and how we're working to redefine that relationship on our own terms.Together, we explore the line between concern and commentary, reflecting on the words that stay with us, and asking what it would look like to create a healthier conversation around our bodies for the next generation.

Send us Fan MailFrom awkward first periods and learning how to use a pad, to sadangus and realizing your entire extended family somehow knew what was happening before you did... this episode is all about growing up.We laugh our way through the chaos of figuring out periods, the advice we got (whether we asked for it or not), and the reality of navigating a topic that was somehow both completely private and everyone's business at the same time.We also talk about balancing the cultural traditions we grew up with, the taboos surrounding menstruation, and how our perspectives have shifted toward body positivity, autonomy, and being able to talk about our bodies without embarrassment.Whether you had a sadangu, learned everything from your friends, or are still wondering why no one ever explained what was going on, this episode is a reminder that none of us really had it figured out, and that's okay.

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, we unpack one of the most pervasive yet often unspoken issues in the Tamil community: colorism. From childhood comments about staying out of the sun to the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways lighter skin was praised, we explore how we first learned that skin tone could influence how someone was perceived and valued.We reflect on the messages we heard at home, in our families, and through Tamil and Indian media, and how those experiences shaped our own relationships with our skin. We also talk about how our perspectives have evolved over time, what it means to embrace our natural complexion, and why these conversations matter for the next generation.This episode is about challenging the beauty standards we've inherited, and redefining what beauty looks like for ourselves and our community.

Send us Fan MailWhat’s in a name? More than most people realize.Welcome to Season 2 of Akka's Unsolicited Advice! We're back with a conversation inspired by the recent debate surrounding Indian Americans who anglicize or adapt the pronunciation of their names. While the internet often treats it as a simple choice, the reality is much more personal.In this episode, we share the stories behind our names, what they mean to our families, and how they've changed depending on the spaces we've occupied-- from our homes to our classrooms, workplaces, and everywhere in between. We explore the tension between preserving culture and navigating a world where not everyone is willing to learn your name, and how those experiences shape our sense of identity.Ultimately, this episode isn't about deciding the "right" way to say a name. It's about recognizing that our names belong to us. Whether we choose to use the traditional pronunciation, adapt it, shorten it, or embrace different versions in different spaces, that choice is ours, and ours alone.Because our names tell our stories, but we get to decide how they're told.