Alan Weiss's The Uncomfortable Truth®

SHOW NOTES: Have you noticed the increase in surveys from hotels, airlines, online retailers, and even medical practices? These are usually accompanied by requests for ratings on the internet. This is related to "calls being recorded for quality purposes." If anyone really listened to the calls, we'd have a lot better services. Even restrooms have a computer screen asking how clean the place was. I really don't want to touch it with my finger. Why not take care of my service problems while I'm experiencing them, not asking about how bad they've been after the fact? I think many of these are a pretense for actually caring. They try to cheaply overcome the unhappiness of customers with a false promise to improve, when they are actually just a vent for unhappiness with no obligation to improve. Executives have "executive assistants" so that they don't have to personally respond to calls and emails, even though they claim to lead "customer-driven" operations. I love the representatives who tell you, "You'll receive a survey after this call, and I'd appreciate your giving me a strong rating." You'll always receive one of these after every Uber trip, along with the tip suggestion. I'm told that Uber drivers rate their customers, as well, and those customers who have given low ratings aren't responded to as rapidly as those who've given high ratings. I don't know if that's true, but I would suspect it is. Please don't rate this podcast. But then again, no one is asking you to do so.

SHOW NOTES: The Super Bowl halftime show; the World Cup; the Masters championship; the US Open Tennis championship; the Oscars; July 4th; Christmas lights; gender reveals; children's birthday parties; destination weddings. Things don't have to get bigger to get better. In fact, the promise of "bigger and better" leads to expectations that can't be met OR exaggeratedly high response to mediocrity to justify the cost of attendance, real or remote. A thousand people marching around a field while someone lip-syncs a song isn't all that impressive. Pre-game, half-time, and post-game analyses by a panel of "experts" just adds talk, not insight. Gender reveals are nonsense and now the trend of mass wedding party dancing as an opening to the ceremony is as boring as running into the same caterer at every fundraising event. You can be married underwater with a jellyfish band for all I care, it doesn't make your love for each other any different in my mind, though it doesn't affect my impression of you self-absorption. Try for quality, not quantity, and certainly not volume.

SHOW NOTES: World Cup attendance and revenues are disappointing. That's hardly surprising. The hype and publicity and exaggerated claims create a level of expectation that's hard to support, and the inflated prices of everything from hot dogs to hotel rooms is absurd. This kind of insistence on constantly "topping" what's come before exists with Super Bowl halftime shows, entertainment award shows (they are proliferating in number as well as production extremes), parades for any variety of causes, political rallies, and even fundraising. The more the pressure to "better" and "outdo" the past attempts as a metric of current success, the more you're prone to fall short. No one has ever sung the Star Spangled Banner better than Whitney Houston, so stop trying to create a canonical version, and just sing the song. Tom Brady wasn't trying to be better than Joe Montana or Johnny Unitas, just the best quarterback he could be.Picasso was just trying to be Picasso. They're wondering why attendance is down when a train ticket was $15 is now $150 to get to the Meadowlands in New Jersey from Penn Station in Manhattan, and it can cost as much as $175 to park at Gillette Stadium on Foxboro, MA for the World Cup (where it's $50 for Patriot game). The road to excess had a lot of potholes.

SHOW NOTES: Steven Spielberg created Jaws and Close Encounters. He used technology for the shark and the spaceship. But he used talent for the creation. Pablo Picasso famously relied on Ripolin, a quick-drying, glossy commercial house paint, instead of traditional artist oils. For tools, he used oversized, long-handled bristle brushes, and stiff palette knives for impasto textures. But the painting Guernica was the result of his talent. Bach created the Brandenburg concertos and the musical advancements that most helped him were the rise of flexible "well-temperament" tuning and the rapid development of the Italian concerto style. Together, these innovations allowed him to achieve his legendary harmonic complexity and contrapuntal mastery. But the talent was already there. Houdini created incredible illusions and escapes using hidden keys, sleight of hand, mirrors, and secret hatched. But the design and the implementation were due to his talent. Focus on your talent, not technology. A microphone can enhance volume but won't help you to naturally sing on key. Superb skis and advance waxes can help your skiing speed and control, but are no replacement for quick reflexes and physical stamina. Technology, whether AI or a remote control, can enhance your abilities and success, but they can't replace your judgment and native talent, unless you try to allow them to, which will only atrophy your unique abilities.

SHOW NOTES: Long ago the Canadian sociologist and business expert, Marshall McLuhan, talked about the "mixed media affect," meaning that experts in one area often migrated to other areas where they are not expert. So you had athletes, entertainers, artists, actors, and random "celebrities" pontificating in fields where they are not expert at all. Barbra Streisand was representative of this phenomenon, with continual political commentary on her web site, at concerts, and in guest appearances. I was in attendance once in Boston Garden, where, in addition to her song lyrics (she couldn't remember them) on the Jumbotron hanging from the roof, was her political "patter" and jibes at the Bushes. (This prompted Laura Ingraham's book, Shut Up and Sing.) At the recent Tony Awards, always great because these are stage actors who don't expect teleprompters and second "takes," a surprise winner for featured actor was Ali Louis Bourzgui for "Lost Boys." He pulled a couple of sheets from his jacket and condemned fascism, racism, misogyny, colonialism, stolen lands, and it seemed also mosquitos and loud noises. It never ended. Fortunately, it was the exception on a stage where the mixed media affect used to predominate. Moreover, no one seems to care anymore. The group on The View, a notoriously liberal and polarizing television cast, embraced Kamala Harris physically and intellectually when she visited them while running for president. And look what happened to her. So ignore the otherwise notable figures who are stepping out of their field of expertise and/or talent. They're just richer, they ain't smarter.

SHOW NOTES: We’ve lost trust in major institutions: universities, medicine, journalism, the law, politicians, religion. (The recent rise in Catholic converts and church attendance is not due to any great marketing by the church, but rather due to a desperate need for a source of faith by many.) We tend to see AI as a magic bullet that will help us out of our uncertainly, lack of success, confusion, and sense of loneliness. Yet AI is the product of humans and has the notorious imperfections that one would expect. My GPS, spell check, computer, and other technology has glitches and errors. They are far from perfect. What we truly need is self-belief, confidence in our own judgment. We need to stop seeking the judgment of others, of others’ metrics, of others approval, and of validation for our tentative decisions. This combination of a loss of trust in ourselves and an overhyped AI by an industry seeking to make trillions is a perfect storm. Resist it. Develop faith in yourself. It doesn’t matter what happens to you in most cases, what matters is what you do about it.

SHOW NOTES: At a restaurant, I’m asked if I have food allergies when I make the reservation, then by the hostess when I arrive, then by the server who has my table. While I appreciate all the precautions, I think they’re afraid of being sued. Isn’t it the responsibility of someone with a serious food allergy who’s make the decision to dine in a restaurant to inform people themselves? The Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills, a wonderful place, actually has a sign informing its guests that the china, which has artful designs and craftsman ship, has potential cancer-causing agents in the art work. Since these are decorative “chargers” and not used for food, a guest would have to chew on the gold leaf to ingest anything remotely dangerous. People complain that prospects are constantly “ghosting” them and it’s an epidemic of rude behavior. Well, the commonality is the person ghosted, so perhaps they aren’t offering sufficient interest of value to justify a return call and that prospect doesn’t want to waste still more time by having to tell them that. When you think others are uniformly acting improperly, it’s usually you. Do you really need to tell us “do not try this at home” when a commercial shows a driver spinning in circles at high speed or a daredevil leaping from a low-flying plane into a convertible? What about when we see an elephant stand on a pool cover to show its strength? Should I cancel the elephant rental? When you’re a medical or dental assistant and inform people they may not wear fragrances in the office because you have a fragrance allergy, perhaps you should consider not working in crowded spaces. How to do you survive in a plane, train, taxi, or elevator? If you feel your rights have been violated because you hear employees talking politics with which you do not agree while you’re waiting in an office, you’re correct. You have the right to leave, which you’re not exercising.

SHOW NOTES: Wherein Alan shares his views of exotic car density, cab maneuvers, High Tea, American advantages in admiring the Royals, and the lies and deception around priority luggage.

SHOW NOTES: “No worries” doesn’t mean “you’re welcome” it means “You didn’t bother me all that much.” “Perfect” doesn’t mean “thank you” it means “You got that right and didn’t waste still more of my time.” “You guys” is terribly inappropriate if the people addressed are not entirely “guys,” and is most misused by women, especially women in the media. “February” and “library” each have two “r’s” in them, or the first is not a month and the second is some kind of fibbing fruit on a vine. These usages are all square pegs attempting to fill round holes, and they’re battered by people who just can’t pass the test. “No worries,” you guys weren’t “perfect.”

SHOW NOTES: The fallacy is that you should be prepared to “spring” in a sales call to “pitch” the sale, like a cheetah on the Serengeti chasing an eland. Well, cheetahs can only maintain high speed for a limited duration, and they’re only successful getting a meal one time in ten (as are all predators). One time in ten is not sufficient for a successful career. We need to empty our heads, and not allow our minds to be crammed with facts, figures, “closing” language, and one-upmanship comments. To “stay in the moment,” which we’re constantly told, we need to listen and watch, not talk and pontificate. The sales “pitch” was already ineffective in the 1950s, but even today you hear about the elevator pitch or the airplane pitch from people who don’t have a clue and cannot sell a thing (which means they’re on Linkedin). Follow my lead. Empty your mind to stay in the moment. And it may just become your moment of glory. The eland is caught, your family is fed, nine times out of ten.

SHOW NOTES: The following guest column by Randy Gage is an excerpt from his new book, Wealth Without Apology, which is being released this week, and which will be the subject of my conversation with him on my podcast this Thursday: Alan Weiss's The uncomfortable Truth Magnitude of Scale: Why Thinking Bigger Pays Better I’m currently conducting a comprehensive, groundbreaking, rigorous, cross-sectional, peer-reviewed, gold-standard, double-blind, placebo-controlled, first-of-its-kind, breakthrough, scientific research study. The purpose of the study is to test the following hypothesis: In today’s environment, it is easier to become a billionaire than a millionaire. This premise may not be as cheeky as it sounds. As I told you earlier, it’s surprisingly easier to earn a large amount of money quickly than it is to earn a small amount of money over a longer period. This is due in large part to a dynamic I call the “Magnitude of Scale Effect.” Put simply… The more bold, audacious, and breathtaking an endeavor is—the greater the likelihood it will attract the people and resources necessary to bring it into existence. Think about this: Airbnb went from two guys renting air mattresses to a $100 billion IPO faster than millions of entrepreneurs ever manage to reach six figures. Why is it easier to sell a Lamborghini Veneno than a Ford Escape? The person who buys a Ford likely must plan far ahead, budget tightly, weigh sacrifices, and hopefully get approved for credit to drive home their new wheels. The person who buys a Lambo understands the concept of value-for-value exchange, has no creditworthiness issues, and brings in enough discretionary income to make the purchase an easy decision. Even an impulse one. If you want to join me on my crusade to make the world more prosperous, it begins by increasing the level of your own prosperity. And the most important part of that process is expanding the window through which you see the world. I use shoes as the analogy for how this process worked with me. Initially my dream was to be able to afford a pair of luxurious Bally loafers, which cost around $200 back then. Younger readers may be shocked to discover we didn’t always live in a world where sneaker drops were a thing! My siblings and I had two pairs of shoes: dress shoes (cheap leather or, more often, plastic) which we wore to school, to church, on holidays, etc., and tennis shoes for gym and after school. By the time I grew up and had entered the business world, having three or four pairs of shoes meant you were extremely rich. In fact, I knew a few guys who had black shoes for dark suits and brown shoes they could wear with a green or tan suit. I even saw Elvis on television once wearing blue suede shoes! Next thing you know, I’m a twenty-something hard-charger who wants to be a business tycoon like Bobby Ewing on Dallas and Blake Carrington on Dynasty,and I heard about the aforementioned Bally loafers. (Which were voted by the readers of Robb Report magazine as the most comfortable shoes in the world.) Since $200 was what I paid to buy my used car from the post office government auction, you can imagine what a daunting, almost impossible goal this was for me. But manifest those suckers I did. Had my mother learned at that time that I spent $200 on a pair of shoes, she would have slapped me into next week. But the spell was broken… I learned there was another world reality out there, and that it was possible for a kid from Allied Drive in Madison, Wisconsin, to own nice things. Once I started rocking those Ballys—the window I saw the world through started expanding. © 2026 Randy Gage You can reach him at RandyGage.com ....Read more on the blog here: https://alanweiss.com/randy-gage-2/

SHOW NOTES: The airlines’ major frequent flyer programs began with American Airlines back in 1981 (thought Texas International Airlines had one in 1979). Everyone quickly followed. Travelers fell in love because they were earning free trips without paying anything extra for the ticket. You may feel the travelers were and are silly. Well, the average major airline today has a liability of about $7-10 billion if these points were all cashed in. Although there are attempts to squelch this with blackout periods and restricted seats available, this is none the less a very real monster under the bed. However, many people never cash them in or they the points may expire. Airlines and hotels figure the points won’t all be used. This is called “breakage,” believe it or not, and it’s the monster-slayer. Another example of this is the US Postal Service, which prints about $14 billion in postage stamps each year. But it’s estimated that over half of this amount is never used for postage because it goes into collections so there’s no attendant labor involved. I provide “unlimited access” to me for my top clients, both corporate and individual. That seems like it can’t be fulfilled, and many people ask how I can do it. It’s simple, virtually no one abuses the privilege. In fact, many people apologize for “bothering me” or ask if they can have an appointment. One year I had 36 corporate clients, and these days I have hundreds of these top echelon clients globally. They call when there’s a need and, since they’re so successful, the needs are relatively few and reasonable. This is my monster multiplier. Even successful solo consultants don’t generally offer this, and I’m probably the most approachable and reachable person at my level in the world. Use your airline points. Collect stamps if you like. But provide unlimited access. Then go sit on the beach.

SHOW NOTES: "Josephine Victoria 'Joy" Behar is an American actress, playwright, comedian, and television host. She's best known for co-hosting the ABC talk show The View, where she won a Daytime Emmy Award in 2009. Behar is known for her sharp wit and asking questions that others might avoid, such as asking Chris Christie if he was too overweight to be president. She's also hosted her own shows, including The Joy Behar Show on HLN and a call-in radio show on WABC. She is 83." The above is a PR document from ABC about her. In fact, Behar is rarely humorous. She's rather dour and absolutely inconsolable when anyone violates her political positions. She recently refused to appear on The View with her colleagues because a guest was Carrie Underwood, the great singer and American Idol winner who has a garage-full of Grammys. Behar's tantrum was that Carrie had sung at a Trump event. That's it: She had the temerity to appear and sing as an expression of her right of free speech. This is Behar's consistent behavior, she's walked off other shows as some kind of political protest even when the person involved is there for another reason. This is what's appearing in the media as "celebrity." You don't have to agree with someone else politically, but to simply ignore them and disappear is the nadir of intellectualism. Comics are supposed to be very bright. I guess there are clear exceptions. Joy Behar makes about $7 million a year to walk off the set whenever she likes. If you need to walk out because you can't deal with people intellectually, then STAY OUT.

SHOW NOTES: • Two great American novels: Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. • She championed “objectivism” and individual accomplishment. • It’s not subtle, and it’s not modest. It’s a full-throated defense of reason, individualism, and self-interest—often misunderstood because people hear “selfishness” and stop listening. • Today we have “soak the rich” and “tax the rich” and “occupy Wall Street” and people defending Luigi Mangione who killed an insurance executive on the streets in New York. • I don’t think a company needs a Jim Anderson of Coherent making $100 million as CEO. I do think that any founder of a company deserves whatever money he or she can make. • We’ve moved from a society that prized innovation and initiative and the wealth that ensues to one where entitlement is a prevailing belief. • Yet we idolize red carpet movie stars, athletes, and simply rich celebrities without discernable talents, like the Kardashians. • We find excuses not to succeed, such as “toxic workplaces” which, if they do exist, are probably caused by toxic employees who are not pulling their weight yet demanding more and more. • We blame the “boomers” as having taken everything and not replaced it, which is total hogwash. The boomers created jobs and entire industries. • I’ve always believed in “healthy selfishness,” meaning you can’t help others (with money, time, ideas, coaching, emotional support, and so forth) unless you possess the resources that allow you to do so. • A great many people who take ultra-progressive stances, from Bernie Sanders to the women on “The View,” themselves are so wealthy that no amount of their espouse government taxation will seriously cause them discomfort. • Unless we reward creativity and jobs creation (along with star athletes and performers and “celebrities”) we won’t have the opportunity creation for everyone else. • Australia’s “tall poppy” vs. my Rolls Royce. • We need to take care of our homeless, and ill, and incapacitated, but not people who are able but unwilling to work. • States creating “millionaire taxes” are losing taxable citizens at an alarming rate. Massachusetts and along with them $4.2 billion in adjusted gross income. • You don’t eliminate poverty by creating more of it. I’m for a version of Ayn Rand’s healthy selfishness.

SHOW NOTES: • If you’re in love with golf, and especially hitting a ball into a bed sheet, I suggest you don’t listen to this. • Is watching multi-millionaires hit balls into a screen and then in a confined stadium with undulating greens really interesting? Is it really a sport? Are they really “athletes”? • Maybe the Americans should focus on trying to win a Ryder Cup out in the real world before trying to excel in a virtual world. • Are we ruining tennis, baseball, football with endless algorithms and technological toys while purging them of judgment? • Do you need a veteran sports manager to read computer output? • We’d never develop today a Ted Williams, Willie Mays, or Sandy Koufax. • I understand the weekend duffer who spends four hours with buddies and then goes for drinks and cigars. I don’t understand what’s so fascinating about watching millionaires, who have caddies and perfect courses, competing to make more millions when there’s such a strong factor of luck involved.

SHOW NOTES: Learn how to learn from ducks, geese, otters, herons, egrets, turtles, osprey, and fish. They're bolder than many of you. Of course, they have to eat to live, but so do you...

SHOW NOTES: Higher education is going extinct. Tuitions are sky high forcing parents to take out second mortgages or kids to mortgage their future by owing $300,000 to teach history in high school for $60,000. Brick and mortar is giving way to remote learning. Government is increasingly intervening in college admissions, curricula, and hiring. The Epstein and other sexual scandals are undermining (and ending the careers) of faculty and university officials. The president of Ohio State just resigned because it was revealed that he had a sexual liaison with a woman bidding to do business with the school. The next president will be the fourth in five years. Ideology rules the classroom among tenured professors who can't be fired short of committing arson. Today and tomorrow, competence is trumping credential. Harvard had to create A+ to differentiate among all the A's everyone automatically receives. Is that really a valid degree? Think twice before you go into hock to send your kid to college. Look around. This decision does not require a college degree.

SHOW NOTES: INMJ (It’s not my job.) Some people define their job as the absolute minimal effort to be expended and not be penalized. It’s about laziness, lousy attitudes, and low esteem. Some people define it as pleasing and delighting the customer. It’s about pride, resourcefulness, and helping the organization. I’ve just returned from an eye doctor who is magnificent and has a great personality. But her technical assistant is a drip, with no personality who never utters a word like “please” or “thank you.” I tolerate her only because the doctor is so good. There are no consequences for her dull personality. This is all a matter of choice and it can determine repeat business, referral business, or no business. I don’t like virtual assistants and other third-parties because there are rarely consequences to perform well and not to perform poorly. If you own a boutique firm, I suggest you test with your clients how they believe they’re treated when dealing with your employees, who may be pleasing around you but can be like dark clouds with everyone else. It’s your money.

SHOW NOTES: •There are no "humble" jobs •The less on Downton Abbey •The doers vs. the administrators •Neither rain nor snow nor gloom of night •Blue is trumping white •AI isn't plowing your driveway •Maybe your daughter should marry a cowboy

SHOW NOTES: Alysa Liu won the woman's gold medal for figure skating a couple of days ago, our first in 24 years! Watching her and listening to her prior, during, and after her final performance (she was in third place at the time), she exhibited a carefree and total joy in her skating. It wasn't about competition or medals, it was about sheer delight. Scottie Shuffler is about sheer delight on the golf course (Tiger Woods was strictly about competition), Sinatra singing on stage, Helen Mirren acting, Zig Ziegler teaching sales skills, Phil Donahue hosting a talk show, Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner creating comedy. It's not about 10,000 hours, though some people may choose to invest those five years. It's about being unafraid of failing, using your own metrics for success, and refusing to bow to the external pressures of the moment. I have shelves of awards in the house. I didn't pursue any of them. I've pursued my passion, which is helping others succeed and prosper. Most rewards occur not when you're thinking about them, but when you're not thinking about them.

SHOW NOTES: The winter Olympics had a boring opening ceremony except for Andrea Bocelli. Some of the events seem duplicative, especially figure skating and skiing. Some seem like efforts to avoid death or injury, and not just competing—skeleton, luge, giant slalom, ski jumping, distance skiing. Skiing in ruts is rather boring, and then the women collapsing over the finishing line and gasping for air is frightening. The giant slalom hits about 85 MPH. Luge and skeleton runs are between 80 and 100 MPH. On the ice, men are tossing women around who have knives attached to their feet. The French judge in figure skating obviously downgraded the American and inflated the French scores so that the latter pairs won. That judge has been known to have done this throughout the last year. Now onto curling, which is a game played with stones and brooms, has suffered cheating accusations for the Canadians “double touching” the stone on launch. After a profane, long outburst by the accused, slow reply showed he, indeed, did commit the infraction. In a manner of speaking he “gave them the finger” before tongue lashing them with obscenities. So much for the Olympic spirit. (And for Canadians being nice people.) At the 2026 Winter Olympics in Milan-Cortina, Canadian curlers Marc Kennedy and Rachel Homan were accused of "double-touching" (illegally touching a stone after its initial release) in separate matches. Sweden's Oskar Eriksson initiated the allegation against Kennedy on Feb. 13, while officials flagged Homan on Feb. 14. Curling is basically the same as shuffleboard, which older people play in retirement villages, or bocce which specifically older Italian people play on dirt. Then there’s the cousin, English Lawn Bowls, which I’ve never been able to finish watching without falling asleep. Johnny Weir, the former Olympic figure skater and NBC commentator, is renowned for his highly, flamboyant, and gender-neutral fashion choices while broadcasting, often featuring makeup, jewelry, and avant-garde, designer clothing. He and Sarah Lapinsky are worth the time spent watching people jump around on ice. Yes, it is true that the Olympic Village at the 2026 Milano Cortina Winter Games ran out of free condoms within the first three days, according to reports in La Stampa and The Guardian. Approximately 10,000 contraceptives for about 2,900 athletes were depleted quickly, prompting emergency restocking due to higher-than-expected demand. Now THAT’S the competitive spirit!

SHOW NOTES: Maybe you have this "bucket list" thing all wrong, where you can never fulfill your expectations. Here's a distinctly contrarian view.

SHOW NOTES: • Suddenly we have “toxic workplaces” (and need “psychological safety” and have “unhoused” people and “food insecure people). • We try to wallpaper over real problems with euphemisms and ideologically-biased language. • Can you have a “toxic workplace” without toxic employees? Chicken and egg? • On social media we see complete nonsense such as “52% of all workplaces are toxic,” which is preposterous and without any valid study. • Can we have so many successful businesses with such malicious management? • I’ve witnessed the opposite: Leadership doing its best to deal with underperforming and entitled employees. • The story of Burlington Industries and Bill Klopman. • If people want to do the job but don’t know how, they need skills training. • If people don’t want to do the job even if they do know how, they need coaching (attitude adjustment). If they still refuse to do it, they need firing. • It’s an entitled age, and people demand certain treatments and conditions that please them, but may not please others, and don’t help the business or its customers. • My work at the post office. • “Toxic” often means “I’m asked to do too much, to meet deadlines, to fulfill commitments.” • There are, of course, bad bosses, and hungry people and homeless people. Let’s not conflate the truly bad with those who are merely discontents. • I have to conclude here, I feel “food insecure” so I’m going out for lunch, which would make me, for the moment, “unhoused.”

SHOW NOTES: • Parents and kids were united in what was watched, experiences, and enjoyed in the early 50s. Gunsmoke, Soupy Sales, MASH, Bonanza, Sink the Bismark. • Then came Dick Clark and American Bandstand. • The 60s saw the Beatles, Sex/Drugs/Rock and Roll. • Viet Nam and campus occupations. • A man on the moon. • Assassinations of John Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther King. • Woodstock. • The Cuban Missile Crisis. • The Schism has evolved into polarization. • We don't trust each other anymore. • We feel entitled. (You can't give an activist enough, ever.) • What can unite? Comedy, trust, tolerance, art, forgiveness? • Unlike climate change, which is highly existential, this is immediate and grave. This is a threat that we need to handle now. • The alternative is chaos.

SHOW NOTES: • The point is to live with imperfection. • Free of mistakes, we’re free of critique and ridicule is false • Perfectionism leads to huge stress • It’s a fictitious expectation (dining, travel, relationships, etc.) • We think it protects us, but it ruins us • It’s based on the fear of being imperfect—and human!! • Engage in vulnerable conversations and actitivies • Accept results of a task that are “OK” • My wife’s formula for long-term marriages • Perfectionism assumes control you don’t have • Why I don’t guarantee my results • Strong esteem nullifies perfectionism • Self-compassion, the same sensitivity you’d offer others • My “therapy” of trains and models • Small “chunks” of change, not mammoth ones • At extremes we have OCD • Experience rather than orchestrate • Ironically, caused by not feeling worthy or good about yourself • The critical distinction between efficacy and self-worth

SHOW NOTES: • Defined as moral and mental qualities; strengths and reputation. • It’s a matter of self-worth, or esteem, of personal dignity. • Also a matter of our willingness to help others, to have an abundance and not a scarcity mentality. • It’s a quiet confidence, not braggadocio. • It’s legitimate and earned, not bogus or borrowed. • The lessons of the Ritz-Carlton. • It’s also with whom we choose to spend our time. • It’s refusing to cheat at golf but trying to cheat in football. • There is the issue of cause and not blame. • There is innate respect for others and not envy or acrimony. • You give back the mistaken, excess change. • Entire cultures can lack character. • The ongoing struggle of politicians to remain in power undermines character. • Yet this is an age of obfuscation, of mistrust, of deep fakes and phony news. • Thinking peoples with opposing views are somehow morally inferior is reflective of poor character. • Intolerance is an absence of character. • “Character” is also about occupying a role, being performative. • Are you real, or just playing a character in your own illusion of reality?

SHOW NOTES: Did people whine as much years ago as they do now? They won't let me succeed at my job. They won't hire me anywhere else. Maybe "toxic workplaces" are caused by toxic employees? Maybe terrible bosses are just leaders expecting employees to meet deadlines and fulfill assignments? The fault is with the "Boomers" or GenX because they took advantage, they led great lives, and left nothing for us! Nothing but a healthier, safer world and the last decade of constantly improved living standards. I'm not valued! Maybe because you don't create much value and you don't make it visible. Take some accountability, and stop immersing yourself in the internet for that good old confirmation bias from other people who don't take initiative. If you're unhappy in your job, change it or leave it. There's plenty of work out there that pays well, isn't threatened by AI, but does require responsibility and ownership. But just stop whining, stop yelling for your Mama. It ain't your mother's fault.

SHOW NOTES: New Year celebrations date back 4,000 years to ancient Babylon, where the festival of Akitu marked the new year around the spring equinox with religious rituals, debt-paying promises (early resolutions), and kingly renewals. Early civilizations linked it to agricultural cycles, like Egyptians with the Nile's flood. The Roman calendar, shifted to January 1st by Julius Caesar, became the basis for our Gregorian calendar, solidifying the date, though many cultures still celebrate at different times (Chinese New Year, Rosh Hashanah). The Babylonians made promises to their gods during a 12-day Akitu festival (their new year in March) to repay debts and return borrowed items for good fortune, a practice later adopted and adapted by the Romans and evolving into today's personal goal-setting tradition for self-improvement and a fresh start. New Year's Eve celebrations became huge in Times Square starting in 1904, when The New York Times hosted a massive fireworks party for its new building, drawing 200,000 people; the iconic ball drop tradition began three years later in 1907, replacing fireworks and cementing the event as a beloved annual spectacle, as reported by The New York Times Company and Times Square. Make a single resolution, not scores which will not be realized and lead to disappointment and self-doubt. Start it now, today, not some future date. Don’t regret the past or dread the future. Live for today, every day. You can’t change the past and the future will here before you know it. And remember most, perhaps, that all of us deal with trauma and pain of varying types. Pain is inevitable in life, but suffering is voluntary. So mourn your loss, endure the pain, but stop suffering and enjoy the wonderful life of existence. It beats the hell out of the alternative. Happy New Year! (blow a horn)

SHOW NOTES: Two of the most popular Christmas Songs (aside from Mariah Carey’s cloying All I Want for Christmas Is You) are I’ll Be Home for Christmas (Kim Gannon, Walter Kent, Buck Ram) from 1943, introduced by Bing Crosby; and Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas (Hugh Martin and Ralph Blane) introduced by Judy Garland in 1943, also. Frank Sinatra later recorded the canonical version of each of them. The year 1943 was in the middle of World War II. These songs, unrealized by many who hear them today and unaware of the origins, are not sincere expressions of happiness of holidays spent together. They are lamentations, expressing a wish to return home to the safety and comforts and love of family. They were meant to represent the soldiers in the Pacific and in Europe who lived in horrible conditions, faced the possibility of death daily, were often ill, too cold, too hot, and too lonely. The lyrics such as “Christmas Eve will find me, where the love light gleams, I’ll be home for Christmas if only in my dreams,” and “We’ll all be together again if the fates allow, but until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow” (later “lightened” to “Hang the Brightest Star Upon the Highest Bough”) convey the intense nostalgia for better times. Think about that background as you consider Christmas this year. We still have soldiers away from home, in harm’s way, separated from their loved ones. We’re fortunate to have them, and we’re fortunate for our freedoms and liberty. Merry Christmas!

SHOW NOTES: We had left Vigil Mass on Saturday night where I helped serve Communion as a Eucharistic Minister. (I’ll be the lector next week.) We drove ten minutes to the restaurant for dinner and immediately heard of the shooting at Brown University. (And as I write this, a similar horror at Bondi Beach in Australia which was aimed at Jews celebrating the start of Hanukkah.) The streets, the classrooms, public gatherings—none is immune to the violence of the mentally ill, the racist, the anti-Semitic, the terrorists, the disaffected who merely seek to kill. Luigi Mangione, who killed United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson on a New York street, captured on camera, has pleaded not guilty, and some people have raised a fund for his defense. Do we kill the school principle if our child has failed a test? Do we murder the coach if our home team is terrible? (Gamblers are currently threatening athletes to underperform which will reward their betting.) Do we kill the event planner if the wedding is not to our liking, or the chef for a bad meal? In the US, our government representatives are cowardly in not taking action on a bipartisan level to remove the mentally ill from the streets and to enforce stricter gun control laws. (I easily remember all the Representatives and Senators immediately after 9/11 standing on the Capitol steps singing God Bless America together. I drove home cross-country from LA with a client, and we saw cities, bridges, and countrysides adorned with American flags.) I am not ever again providing funds or voting for anyone of any party who does not make these points a campaign pledge with a plan to implement. I know there are some of you who resent even a political taint to what I write here, but this is non-partisan, this is a call for freedom—the freedom from violence. We have a right to conduct productive lives and to live and raise our children in safety. When I was a child, poor and in an inner city, I could walk the streets alone, even at night, without fear and without my parents fearing for me. Early this morning, 15 minutes from Brown where I live, I considered taking my gun to walk the dogs in the dark patches of our own lighted backyard. (I didn’t. But I thought about it.) Some people object to “thoughts and prayers” as if they are of no value. I disagree. And I offer them to the families, to our communities, to all of us. Right now, at this moment, that’s all I have.

SHOW NOTES: I am neither aware nor unaware. Did. you lobby to get her on the board? She'll make an excellent board member. But did you arrange for her appointment. She's a stellar candidate. Weren't you in charge of this huge problem area? No, I inherited it. But before that you were a top officer of the company. Surely you must have known that the operations were illegal. Under my watch we reduced the impropriety by 41%. I have not spoken to the man but have made it clear that I would do so if he came to me. I have not seen the footage in question but I believe, based on what I know is in it, that everyone should see it. It is not our job to investigate the competency or work of the bridge inspectors, or to tell them where we think the problems may be. I am not asking you to coach me for free, I am asking for your advice on an issue. It depends what "it" is. I didn't come in here, and I'm not leaving.

SHOW NOTES: I heard an "influencer" today on a morning talk show explain that dating, or having any ongoing relationship, is no longer considered favorable. In fact, he pointed out, many people are finding that being single—is "aspirational." Now, I can understand independence and self-sufficiency, hell, I write about them as positive traits. But to seek to remain unattached to another person as "aspirational"? We all need others. We need companionship, love, solace in defeat, and celebration in victory. Many of us have visited foreign lands, scuba dived, engaged in competitions, faced health issues, suffered trauma. Doing so alone makes defeat into cataclysm and victory into evanescence. It's healthy to be able to be effective and happy alone. But I doubt it's healthy to want to achieve that as some aspirational life goal. It takes accountability and sacrifice to be in any kind of relationship. Perhaps being alone isn't so much a goal and as escape.

SHOW NOTES: I've been consulting, coaching, advising and otherwise helping people to achieve success, personally and professionally, for over half a century. Those clients include CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, top governmental elected officials, executive directors on nonprofits, solo entrepreneurs, entertainers, athletes, and lawyers, accountants, designers, architects, and a myriad of employees. Until the 21st Century kicked in, this was standard work on skills, behaviors, attitudes, and self-confidence. Then things became a bit weird, which was exciting for me, being a resource for people, but scary for them (and, I admit, a bit baffling to me). However, prior to the covid epidemic, it became clear there was a subliminal crisis of confidence brewing which, during and post-covid, burst into the open and became its own pandemic. Many might say the causes were obvious: conflicting medical opinions, tainted political agendas, paranoid conspiracy theories, and all of this inflamed by social media random misinformation and speculation. Yet as I watched the confusion, uncertainty, and vacillation, I realized the actual causes were an unprecedented feeling of powerlessness, an unsatisfied need to receive some kind of "permission" to act, and a profound loss of self-esteem and self-worth. "Self-esteem," for simplicity's sake for the moment, is a confidence in one's abilities to achieve desired results, and an ongoing self-respect irrespective of whether the individual is successful. It's not about ongoing "victories" or "wins," but it is about a permanent sense of "worth." For many people, that has been lost. Like athletes in a "slump" in terms of performance, especially under pressure, people are becoming more afraid, more uncertain, as the turmoil and disruptive nature of our times continue and will not abate.

SHOW NOTES: If you want to maximize your business growth, you need to generalize and not specialize. There may be exceptions, but generally, the more potential buyers you have the more business you'll generate. A content expert knows the "what." It may be insurance, or auto manufacture, or solar panels. You sell insurance to people to need insurance, auto manufacture skills to, well, auto manufacturers, and solar panels to people who desire it, have the capacity for it, and have a roof (or a large field). But a process expert knows the "how." It may be sales, customer service, decision making, conflict resolution, or negotiating. And these needs, this expertise, is needed cross-industrially and globally. Problem solving, for example, has three components (hear them on the recording) which are immutable, no matter what the circumstances. These process skills are often called "critical thinking skills," which are not sufficiently taught in schools nor recognized in workplaces. Hence, my highly successful career, and this podcast.

SHOW NOTES: I don’t want to give this away, suffice it to say it’s about panic vs. calm, and successful marriages vs. rocky ones.

SHOW NOTES: •Why do such a staggeringly large percentage fail? •They don't respond to inquiries when busy. •They tend to create prices based on wealth of buyer. •They don't show up, don't return calls, don't finish on time. •They don't bill in a timely manner, so cash flow is an issue. •They don't consider repairs and warranties for the buyer. •They tend to seek perfection rather than success. •They use shortcuts and blame others when they don't work. •They aren't proactive, only reactive. •They act as if their educated, wealthy customers are stupid. •They don't actively seek referrals. •They act as if the customer's ideas are absurd. Other than that, they're run wonderfully and their rate of failure is due to climate change.....

SHOW NOTES: It seems as if civilization, especially the arts, are in decline. Famed authors are "mailing it in" (or really writing to try to sell a screenplay, not a book). Laugh tracks have to remind us when the writers think something is funny, but otherwise it isn't. Quiz shows, talk shows, news shows all seem out of the same mold, which is 50 years old. No newscaster ever says to a politician being interviewed, "But you didn't answer my question. It was a 'yes or no' question." Despite the decline, athletes, celebrities, news anchors, and politicians receive obscene salaries, endorsements, and benefits. We seem to have lost our taste, misplaced our judgment. We're receiving pap and being told it's wagyu beef. You might find it easier to be getting around these days. But that might have nothing to do with quality or smarts, but rather just the direction in which society is heading.

SHOW NOTES: Strategic WhaleSale™ Approach- Alan and Lisa discussed the concept of "WhaleSales," which involves targeting large, high-value clients to maximize revenue and efficiency. Lisa shared her experience of landing a significant whale deal that transformed her company's growth and stability, emphasizing the importance of alignment with the C-suite and strategic goals. They highlighted that whale sales should be an intentional strategy for businesses and not an accident, with Lisa noting that her company made it a cultural standard to pursue such deals annually. WhaleSale™ Strategy Insights- Alan and Lisa discussed the concept of "landing a whale" in sales, emphasizing that it involves making friends and providing value rather than killing opportunities. Alan shared his experience of undervaluing a sale early in his career and highlighted the importance of changing one's philosophy to pursue larger deals. Lisa agreed and added that internal opportunities within existing client bases should also be considered. They discussed the need for relevance and preparation when targeting larger buyers, with Lisa emphasizing the importance of having relevant case studies and experiences. The conversation concluded with Lisa questioning why more people do not incorporate whale sales into their business planning. Value-Driven Career and Deal Making- Alan discussed his concept of career progression, from surviving to thriving, and emphasized the importance of building value rather than focusing solely on pricing to secure "whale deals." Lisa shared her experience of using whale deals to attract top talent and boost morale, while also highlighting the non-financial benefits of such deals. Both agreed that focusing on value and expertise, rather than just financial gain, is crucial for long-term success. Strategies for Lucrative Whale Sales- Alan discussed the three parts of a sale: the original payment, expansion business, and referral business, emphasizing that "whale sales" offer more lucrative opportunities due to larger suppliers and customers. He suggested focusing on creating more value in the marketplace rather than just increasing revenues, as this could lead to significant revenue growth.Lisa shared a personal anecdote about encouraging a friend to secure a corporate client to boost their small retail business, highlighting the strategy's potential for businesses of all sizes. Whale Sales Strategy Insights- Alan and Lisa discussed the concept of "whale sales," which involve large, infrequent, and long-lasting transaction. Alan emphasized the importance of meeting senior clients, preparing thoroughly, and facing fears to succeed in high-stakes sales. Lisa highlighted how whale deals can create a defensible moat and increase business value. They agreed to collaborate further, producing articles, videos, and other content to help others implement a whale sales strategy.

SHOW NOTES: My tribute to one of the greatest historians in our history. This is the speech he made in 1995 when receiving the hugely prestigious National Book Foundation's Medal for Distinguished Contribution to American Letters. He was also awarded two Pulitzer Prizes among dozens of other awards, including the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

SHOW NOTES: There was a song from the movie of the same name called The High and the Mighty, by Dimitri Tiomkin, nominated for an Oscar. It was about a trans-Pacific flight with critical engine problems and crew and passengers facing confrontations with death. It was probably the first of the major disaster films: 1954. We have the high and mighty today and they occupy.....Washington, DC: 2025, 70 years later. The Senators and Congressmen still get their salaries during a government shutdown. They go on "junkets," often with family, overseas. They don't stop at TSA. Many have served through generations of their constituents and they are shameless. They "gerrymander" openly, seeking unfair and wildly distorted districts to ensure local victories. They are hypocrites, with very weak people, such as Senator Sheldon Whitehouse, who screams for term limits on the Supreme Court but not the Senate. He gives more speeches on climate change than anyone else, but his wife is a marine biologist consultant, and the subject of an ethics complaint last year because of his lobbying for climate investments and her potential to benefit from them. Neither party has a statesman, as they've both had in the past, who can create civility and collaboration. They each want the sandbox solely for themselves and threaten to destroy it—shut it down—rather than compromise on where the toy cars should be place. Jasmine Crockett is one of the most foul-mouthed, profane people in any profession I've ever heard, and she's a Representative. She's an embarrassment whenever in the media. They think they're the High and Mighty, but they make that emperor without the clothes seem fully dressed.

SHOW NOTES: •The lessons of the newspaper woman. •The causes of toxic workplaces, more often than not. •The 90-minute wrench. •It's not your mother's fault. •Distress and eustress. •The key to peak performance. •It's about how you awaken, and I don't mean "woke." •Putting it to bed.

SHOW NOTES: •Never talk to people who can say "no" but can't say "yes." •Treat the buyer as a peer, not a superior. • Have a conversation, don't make a presentation. •Language controls discussion, which controls relationships, which controls business. •No one is shooting at you, get rid of your fears and weak ego. •Gain conceptual agreement. •Money and time are priorities, not resources. •There are three elements to every sale. •Play into the buyer's "story." •Four objection areas, only one is legitimate. •Don't give off "deal vibes." •Have a "min/max." •Always conclude with TDA. •Think of TDTC. •Never settle for "best practices." •Don't be intimidated, change the frame (we never hire consultants). •Provide options. •Learn from every interaction.

SHOW NOTES: If you're in favor of this stuff, listen carefully to the audio. You're driving on the wrong side of the road. •servant leadership •holacracy •one-minute management •management by wandering around •management by objectives • total quality management •360° feedback •self-directed teams •open office (hoteling) •open book management •reengineering •JIT (just-in-time) •lean •matrix management •theory Z •flat organizations •matrix management •six sigma •open book management

SHOW NOTES: •This is an almost subliminal technique to create normative pressure psychologically. •It's pointing out what others are doing, or not doing, or what events, prove your point. •It's the use of profound analogies. •Listen to my examples about Amtrack's infrastructure, or the fallacies around Kodak. •If pictures are worth a thousand words, social proof is worth a thousand pictures. •Learn who was more important, Brady or Belechick. • Understand how breaking the rules can save lives. •Understand why coach does not arrive at the same time that first class does. •Use these techniques for assurances and probabilities. •Use them to accelerate your conversations toward your goals. •But social proof demands that you be well-informed. To learn how to develop and use Social Proof, go to my website or read below: THE PROOF BEHIND SOCIAL PROOF Has anyone ever asked you, "Give me an example of your point?" and you suddenly forgot how to speak? Or have you said, "Let me give you an example...," and then immediately gone into brain freeze without any ice cream? "Social Proof" comprises pragmatic examples that others can readily relate to which reinforce your point instantly. When you "open the hood" on social proof, beneath is actually a psychological dynamic which creates normative pressure assuring that the actions of others are appropriate and should be imitated. A desire to "fit in" is created. While testimonials and endorsements are a type of social proof, they are not as powerful as citing a headline, a major incident, or a famous example. (One problem with quotations, for example, is that for each one there is an opposite, equally true: "Haste makes waste" but "He who hesitates is lost.") Many people use "false social proof." Kodak was not hiring chemists while digital photography was taking over. Their executives simply thought they could wring a couple of more years of already-projected profits and underestimated the speed of the digital takeover. Join me for 90 minutes and fill your conversations, narrative, and collateral with social proof that will build your brand and fill your bank account. People ask what research I invest in for my success. I don't. Then they ask what my investigative habits are. I don't have any. "So what DO you do?" They ask. I look around. LEARN HOW TO LOOK AROUND TO DOMINATE CONVERSATIONS AND CLOSE BUSINESS: October 14, 2025 10:30 to noon, US eastern time Video and Zoom notes included Fee: $350 until and including Sept. 30, $500 thereafter. REGISTER HERE: https://alanweiss.com/growth-experiences/the-proof-behind-social-proof/

SHOW NOTES: •We think the higher the value, the more we can charge. •However, at a given point, people believe they get what they pay for and those lines cross. •The point at which they cross means your brand is strong. •No one needs a Bentley for transportation, a Brioni for attire, a Bulgari to tell the time. But they assign great emotional value in their association and display. •The wrench story. •Many people made money during the pandemic and rough economic times by raising fees. It's easier, of course, to lower them, and to go out of business! •Mercedes made a mistake going "downscale," then failed to go "upscale" with the Maybach. •At the outset, raise value to raise fees. When your brand is powerful, change the order.

SHOW NOTES: •Do you know people who are loquacious, verbose, prolix? •Ask a "yes or no" question and they respond with opinions, history, and self-therapy. •Have you been to the Jersey Shore? Well, I did go once, as a child, but my parents really couldn't afford the vacation, and then when they could, they preferred Cape Cod. I haven't taken my children because my spouse thinks that "Jaws" was a documentary. •Why so much talk? -Articulating cognitive processes -Buying time -Believing it adds credibility and esteem -Just a bigmouth who loves to hear him/herself talk •Tell people what they need to know, not everything that you know. •Assume intelligent people will ask you questions if needed. •Don't be afraid to stop people from rambling: -What's your point? -What's your question? •Verbosity attempts to hide the point: politicians do it and it probably helped cost Kamala Harris the election. •It dilutes your real power, like planting the Mona Lisa in the midst of a much larger painting. •People forget the major points because they are drowned in minor points. She talked at length about needing ice cream, but I don't remember what flavors she said to avoid at all costs. •Lincoln's Gettysburg Address took about 2.5 minutes to deliver. Can you recall who else spoke that day for hours? •The US Constitution is a couple of pages. The rules of golf are over 600. Is it really easier to run the most successful and powerful democracy in history than to hit a ball with a stick?

SHOW NOTES: People want problems solved, even if you caused them! Learn how Katz's Deli and Mercedes Benz have turned problems into profits. Don't look for blame, look for opportunity. No one is as excited about an expected excellent experience as they are about a disappointing experience turned into an excellent experience. Customers tend to tell a huge number of people about their experiences, at their levels—peer-to-peer evangelism. This is why companies that make it their work to make themselves unreachable (welcome to government agencies) are so foolish. Perhaps, instead of saying, "The problem with you is...." you should be saying, "Let me help you do that even better."

SHOW NOTES: There are myriad claims on social media that are justified by the author observing (or being a self-proclaimed expert in) "body language." I have always thought this was ridiculous, sort of a faux psychological claim of expertise. Of course, the French have long studied graphology (handwriting) to determine behavioral traits (hard in a world forsaking cursive), and scapulimancy, the study of old, burned animal shoulder bones, has been used by various cultures to contact the gods. "Body language" is a similar myth. You don't believe me, here's what Psychology Today has to say about it: "Every day, we get queries from around the world about non-verbals and invariably about detecting deception through body language. The biggest takeaway from the hundreds of messages is that despite the undeniable importance of nonverbal communication, many myths and false beliefs undermine its importance, relevance, or utility. So, we decided to pool our resources and comment on ten myths about body language that are currently trending, and you may notice some have been trending for a long time." https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/spycatcher/202207/debunking-body-language-myths But why trust me or science? After all, who knows what my body language looks like right now?

SHOW NOTES: •Let's stop the hypocrisy around this affair. •This goes on all over, government, business, education. •I've seen it, many people know the "secret." •The foolishness is the arrogance that you think it's a secret. •But the attempts at shadenfreude are ludicrous. •Who's pointing the finger? People who have cheated on exams, broken traffic laws, evaded taxes, blamed others for their corrupt behavior, lied on applications, snuck into events, bragged about things that never happened, and covered up things that did. •People reveling in the pain of two people who now have broken marriages and broken homes. •A man died a week ago with whose politics a woman on Facebook disagreed and said his death "made the word a better place." •What kind of sick behavior is that? It's low self-esteem. •We've all done things we're not proud of, and some of us are remorseful. That's what the confessional is for, or Yom Kippur, or your therapist, or a serious, soul-searching hike up a mountain. •If others learning of a transgression were able to learn from it, okay. But to use it sanctimoniously, to mount the high horse and seek the higher moral ground? That's just juvenile. •It was their fault (my disrespect is for the guy who is now suing Cold Play as if they did something wrong. They warned about the cameras and no one has the right to expect privacy at a public event). •My advice is to heed Jesus about those without sin casting the first stone. But of course we're supposed to value secularism today, not religion, not the admonishment to treat others as you'd like them to treat you. •Better pack a first aid kit, though, because that high horse can give you quite a nose bleed.

SHOW NOTES: •Why is Scottie Sheffler likely to become the greatest golfer ever? •Why is mental attitude the key to winning? •How some sports prompt more honesty than others. •Handling defeat and victory properly. •Not allowing a mistake to become a haunting obstacle. •Why Tiger Woods was overrated. •Even if you don't play the game you can learn from it. •Playing prudently to win. •Never "coming back to the pack." •Sheffler and Koufax and Sinatra.