Alonzo Bodden: Who's Paying Attention?

1- Cancer sucks2- Rats get fat and good men die3- I’ll just use gas4- Take care of you5- Rules to live by6- Thanks for the memories

1- Trump NFT: only $99. Great War on Christmas gift.2- I’m not goin' to jail for him… Yes, you are.3- No, it isn’t the party of Lincoln.4- We almost got it right5- Can we talk?

1- Brittney is out2- It's Werewolfing time3- Cheating Works4- Black robe by day, white robe by night5- Thanks, Trevor.

1- I don’t like Black mass shooters2- There’s 2 white supremacists at Mar a Lago3- How is Herschel not winning? He was gonna go to law school.4- Freedom of speech we approve of5- Same-sex marriage saved6- Corporate crime aka business as usual7- Merry Christmas

1- Dems got Senate, Republicans got House. Nothing gets done. 2- Sorry, Kari, elections are real. 3- A prophet gets his wish 4- Hershel, vampires, werewolves, and child care. Observably stupid. 5- LA wins. Sherriff, Mayor, People. 6- Chappelle gotta Chappelle and we love it 7- Find me at rebelHQ TYT.com and Zofunny on IG Love ya

1- Now they gotta explain a run-off to Herschel.2- Sex-shamed by Boebert3- We won by not losing big.4- Let's fire the racist so we can elect him.5- Twitter has Twatted

1- If it wasn’t important, they wouldn’t be trying to stop you.2- Twitter is dead.3- Hate speech is real.4- What did rich white males want in 1791? Guns.5- Kyrie is Krazy.6- No Empathy. No Apology. No Accountability.

1- Its about the children…No, it's not.2- Herschel Walker paid for another one. Another abortion not another kid. He doesn’t pay for those.3- Don’t debate after a stroke4- Stop the steal or we’ll shoot5- MTG takes a bath with Trump and it's beautiful.6- Hello, Pot, This is Kettle.7- Shirley Raines life matters8- Ye is not winning9- California economy is number 4 IN THE WORLD. Sorry, Texas, you’re number 10. Thats far below 4, if you’re counting.

1- 1400 to 18. They win, you lose. 2- I got a badge. You got a badge. Everybody got a badge. 3- Good ole racism. When all else fails... 4- Drunk Driving? C’mon down to Georgia. 5- She’s just too smart 6- Sorry, mom. Do you have your kids DNA? 7- That is not presidential ice cream

1- Mitch McConnell just won’t quit2- LA City Council a racist mess3- Get in the union4- You don’t have to go to China to hire children5- Why didn’t I buy Apple?

1- The Original Latino Comic 2- Yeah I know him and her and them 3- Santa Claus 4- Commerce has a Casino? 5- In this corner… 6- I love LA whatever happens 7- He’s now a rock star

1- Take his money.2- Brett Farve, the silence is deafening.3- Hey, Ted. Asylum worked for daddy.4- My name is Ron Johnson and I approve this message5- Texas is number 1… in banning books6- He’s a 20 something kid

1- Isn’t that human trafficking? 2- She’s a hero, not a criminal. 3- build a freeway Crush a home 4- Mermaids have no color. No really, they don’t. They’re not real. 5- Uh Oh, we’re becoming a shit hole. 6- Hey Touron, do not feed the bison.

1- Mississippi will Mississippi 2- Crooks, I mean, Bank of America 3- White Privilege? There’s a card for that 4- He’s going to get away with it 5- Angry, old white women 6- The common good? Nah.

1- WATER   2- They’re leaving Cali.. No, they’re not    3- Declassify the fake docs. That’ll get ‘em.    4- Waitin on a train   5- Relax, MTG, Palin’s not coming.    6- Thank You, Serena. 

1- Vegas2- Pay your loans. We said your loans, not our loans.3- Tough on crime. Maybe not so much.4- Bullet-proof backpacks5- Not in my very expensive backyard6- No gas in Cali7- RIP Joey D8- National Dog Day. Give ‘em a treat.

1- Bringing Art to an underserved world2- No egos here3- Some LeBron’s 97 million4- No bad art, kids. Create Create Create.5- It's all good news

1- Hello, this is the FBI, about those papers you took… 2- I plead the 5th. Emphasis on Plead 3- Attack the FBI? F**k around Find out 4- Damn those low gas prices 5- Serena’s greatness requires no comparisons 6- Stupid Don’t Get Tired on YouTube NOW

1- Release Brittney Griner2- Kansas Pro Choice3- Profits up 235%. Why can’t it be 300?4- Defund the Library5- Disney does it right6- Your lawyers hate you7- Cracker Barrel destroys democracy

Live from Just For Laughs Montreal with Jessica Kirson See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Still in Montreal.2- Still Hot in England.3- I’m dumb and I’m a role model.4- Walgreens is not a church.5- Chappelle banned but we still sell tickets6- Bruce’s Beach is once again Bruce’s Beach.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- It's not a baseball catcher2- It's not a Proud Boys supporter3- It's not slavery denial (though that's close)4- No, my fetus is a passenger (Great Argument)5- It's denial that a 10 year old was raped. DING DING DING. You win, Ohio Garbage People.6- With a touch of Herschel stupid thrown in.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Highland Park Massacre2- Yes, Marjorie, you do have mental illness.3- 8 years old... Somehow we’re Ok with that.4- Your gas price is up? Republicans did that.5- Free Brittney Griner6- Tiara Mack twerks Ted Cruz Shoots. Which is Obscene?7- David “Santa “ Riddell arrested for protesting regulations that don’t exist. You’ve been naughty, Santa.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- It all started in San Francisco...2- Who’s Line Is It? He improv'ed learning improv.3- England to unapologetic4 - The Art of Teaching5- 30 years and it’s still guns and abortion6- Dick Cheney and the Good Ole Days7- Vote, read, and VOTE8- The Good News Is...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Jan 6 hearings for entertainment only 2- Yeah but what if it's a Muslim school? 3- He took the day off 4- Grab your gun. The Court has spoken. 5- No ethics rules. Why? They’re Supreme. 6- Plenty of bad cops to go around 7- I mean, it wasn’t a dog. Let's play some football. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- I want to watch some perp walkin'.2- But it's just a loan3- I don’t have water. How about some gas?4- Patriots in a Uhaul? Lock 'em up.5- Young White Males6- Criminal profits, oh, I mean gas prices.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

UvaldeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome comic, host, actress, and now EMT: Crystal Marie! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Sarah says comics are better than Representatives2- Uncle Clarence forgot to talk to Mrs. Uncle Clarence3- Over educated women scare weak ass cowardly Republican men4- It's not a difficult issue, it's F**KIN RAPE.5- Uh... your neighbors joined the protest.6- Thank you, Ms. Psaki, you’re better than them to the very end.7- I’m Sean Hannity and I’m a coward. I endorse this message.8- Airlines are Assholes9- Everyone is better than elected representativesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- CHAPPELLE ATTACKED. Going to have to add selfdefense and security to services2- Helping comics financially, physically, & mentally3- Carneys get unemployment, so should we.4- Comics are generous to our own. We need you too.5- Golf tournament & Basketball Game6- Donate. Text Laugh to 707070comedygivesback.com7- you might work alone you don’t have to be aloneSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Glad he didn't give up2- Does art imitate life? Nah.3- Free Speech? Time will tell..4- Get rid of them angry followers5- The Oscars? Pass.6- Comedy and emotion7- The best compliments come from both sides8- Old DadSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- NYC2- Masks? We were kidding. You’re fine.3- Morning news. Morning bad news.4- Execution: Texas-style5- Marriage if church and state by the courts6- Hey, China. We’re banning math books.7- Teach my child? I’ll sue.8- Tucker says burn your balls into manhoodSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- No, Tucker, a black mass shooter doesn’t make it okay.2- Ghost guns are still guns3- Stop those trucks4- 10000 Ukrainians walk into a bar...5- Inflation is rough all over6- Corrupt and Stupid7- It IS okay to be a UnicornSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- I started with Hannibal2- Talk radio: a great job for the 80’s3- Slap heard round the world4- Black Lives Houses seem to matter5- Men go to any lengths to find the CreepySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Can’t talk about Fox News2- Cant talk about Apple3- Chris Rock and Will Smith.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Best Tweet Ever2- The Chairman calls the idiot from Tennessee.3- Don't you know who I am?! Unfortunately, we do.4- Why are Conservatives angry?5- Mrs. Harris, will you be the deciding vote?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- From Snoop to Martha To Nikki to George... He writes the funny.2- How do you get Cloris Leachman to work dirty?3- Finding the funny for them4- Boston, NY, LA5- TV in the middle6- Leaded Gas7- The good news is…See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Guest Guy Torry2- Phat Tuesday: The Place to Be3- Good to be naive4- Acting with the dark side of comedy5- Doin' Life6- Looking back and soaking it up7- Country Music Awards?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Putin over Biden? Don’t tell Reagan2- Freedom to deny Freedom3- Shipping and handling definitely cost extra4- I’m going to Disneyland5- EATING SALAD DRUNK by GABE HENRY and us comicsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Sweet Taste of Urine 2- Navy Lieutenant surrenders to second grade 3- What’s my Name? 4- Funniest Dad 5- She’s checking her phone 6- The Parents Lounge 7- Thanks for a sense of wonder See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Voting rights: Gone.2- Let’s ban the books!3- The Freedom Convoy, isn’t.4- He’s Black. Let's shoot him, again!5- Leo Flowers on Life and LivingSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- No such thing as bad publicity2- Newsom is an idiot3- Another Fox hero falls4- Of course it's systematic racism5- Black women are OVERQUALIFIED and better than you, Cruz.6- Just don’t pay it7- Bethany Van DelftSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- John Stockton, we don’t need your assist. 2- Stupid SOB is a Stupid SOB 3- What’s her end game? 4- Ass whoopin Needed. Right NOW! 5- She did it just like the men do 6- Self made inheritance 7- Brian Murdoch: hard at work See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Cancelled2- Food, Wipeouts, and Soup3- Scorpion and other inappropriate observations4- Vaccinate white people5- Kenny Ray? Coon Rapids? You do the math.6- Good news. Subpoenas ignored. Career Ended?7- Alexander Hamilton saw this comingSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- HBO MAX Special2- Her personal is topical3- Puerto Rican, Dominican, Light-skinned, LatinX. Let's add woman for fun.4- Woke ain’t Woke5- Generations6- Anyone and everyone is game for funny7- Covid Pneumonia from Fauci8- Bob Saget: In tragedy there is HOPE.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- International Comedy2- Been Black and Brooklyn all over the world3- What do they think of us?4- Black Ice5- Celebrity worship6- Friends to the end, sort of.7- It’s my Twitter8- Some good news

1- Insurgence2- Vaccines and Variants3- Billionaires in space4- Schools open. Let's start shooting.5- Schools open. Let's stop teaching.6- Justice vs No Justice in Black and White7- Sports and Science8- Remember the good ole days when Palin was crazy?9- You could be from Florida10- Buy Time11- In tribute to Tutu: here’s Jonathan ButlerSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- What happened to news?2- Did the lie become the truth?3- Congress with a conscience4- Gen X, Y, Z and then…5- No really, LA has a culture.6- Dateline the MoonSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Freedom of religion, as long as its my religion. 2- Look at the gun Jesus gave me for Christmas! 3- Is it a Dic Pic? 3- Science tries again. Science fails again. 4- First response is: No 5- Perfect wrong number 6- Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mal Hall. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Old Fashioned Stand Up2- A New Variant3- Working with the best4- A Tip on tipping5- My Brother’s in trouble6- Christmas tips you can’t useSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.