Alonzo Bodden: Who's Paying Attention?

1- Cancer sucks 2- Rats get fat and good men die 3- I’ll just use gas 4- Take care of you 5- Rules to live by 6- Thanks for the memories

1- Trump NFT: only $99. Great War on Christmas gift. 2- I’m not goin' to jail for him… Yes, you are. 3- No, it isn’t the party of Lincoln. 4- We almost got it right 5- Can we talk?

1- Brittney is out 2- It's Werewolfing time 3- Cheating Works 4- Black robe by day, white robe by night 5- Thanks, Trevor.

1- I don’t like Black mass shooters 2- There’s 2 white supremacists at Mar a Lago 3- How is Herschel not winning? He was gonna go to law school. 4- Freedom of speech we approve of 5- Same-sex marriage saved 6- Corporate crime aka business as usual 7- Merry Christmas

1- Dems got Senate, Republicans got House. Nothing gets done. 2- Sorry, Kari, elections are real. 3- A prophet gets his wish 4- Hershel, vampires, werewolves, and child care. Observably stupid. 5- LA wins. Sherriff, Mayor, People. 6- Chappelle gotta Chappelle and we love it 7- Find me at rebelHQ TYT.com and Zofunny on IG Love ya

1- Now they gotta explain a run-off to Herschel. 2- Sex-shamed by Boebert 3- We won by not losing big. 4- Let's fire the racist so we can elect him. 5- Twitter has Twatted

1- If it wasn’t important, they wouldn’t be trying to stop you. 2- Twitter is dead. 3- Hate speech is real. 4- What did rich white males want in 1791? Guns. 5- Kyrie is Krazy. 6- No Empathy. No Apology. No Accountability.

1- Its about the children…No, it's not. 2- Herschel Walker paid for another one. Another abortion not another kid. He doesn’t pay for those. 3- Don’t debate after a stroke 4- Stop the steal or we’ll shoot 5- MTG takes a bath with Trump and it's beautiful. 6- Hello, Pot, This is Kettle. 7- Shirley Raines life matters 8- Ye is not winning 9- California economy is number 4 IN THE WORLD. Sorry, Texas, you’re number 10. Thats far below 4, if you’re counting.

1- 1400 to 18. They win, you lose. 2- I got a badge. You got a badge. Everybody got a badge. 3- Good ole racism. When all else fails... 4- Drunk Driving? C’mon down to Georgia. 5- She’s just too smart 6- Sorry, mom. Do you have your kids DNA? 7- That is not presidential ice cream

1- Mitch McConnell just won’t quit 2- LA City Council a racist mess 3- Get in the union 4- You don’t have to go to China to hire children 5- Why didn’t I buy Apple?

1- The Original Latino Comic 2- Yeah I know him and her and them 3- Santa Claus 4- Commerce has a Casino? 5- In this corner… 6- I love LA whatever happens 7- He’s now a rock star

1- Take his money. 2- Brett Farve, the silence is deafening. 3- Hey, Ted. Asylum worked for daddy. 4- My name is Ron Johnson and I approve this message 5- Texas is number 1… in banning books 6- He’s a 20 something kid

1- Isn’t that human trafficking? 2- She’s a hero, not a criminal. 3- build a freeway Crush a home 4- Mermaids have no color. No really, they don’t. They’re not real. 5- Uh Oh, we’re becoming a shit hole. 6- Hey Touron, do not feed the bison.

1- Mississippi will Mississippi 2- Crooks, I mean, Bank of America 3- White Privilege? There’s a card for that 4- He’s going to get away with it 5- Angry, old white women 6- The common good? Nah.

1- WATER   2- They’re leaving Cali.. No, they’re not    3- Declassify the fake docs. That’ll get ‘em.    4- Waitin on a train   5- Relax, MTG, Palin’s not coming.    6- Thank You, Serena. 

1- Vegas 2- Pay your loans. We said your loans, not our loans. 3- Tough on crime. Maybe not so much. 4- Bullet-proof backpacks 5- Not in my very expensive backyard 6- No gas in Cali 7- RIP Joey D 8- National Dog Day. Give ‘em a treat.

1- Bringing Art to an underserved world 2- No egos here 3- Some LeBron’s 97 million 4- No bad art, kids. Create Create Create. 5- It's all good news

1- Hello, this is the FBI, about those papers you took… 2- I plead the 5th. Emphasis on Plead 3- Attack the FBI? F**k around Find out 4- Damn those low gas prices 5- Serena’s greatness requires no comparisons 6- Stupid Don’t Get Tired on YouTube NOW

1- Release Brittney Griner 2- Kansas Pro Choice 3- Profits up 235%. Why can’t it be 300? 4- Defund the Library 5- Disney does it right 6- Your lawyers hate you 7- Cracker Barrel destroys democracy

Live from Just For Laughs Montreal with Jessica Kirson See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Still in Montreal. 2- Still Hot in England. 3- I’m dumb and I’m a role model. 4- Walgreens is not a church. 5- Chappelle banned but we still sell tickets 6- Bruce’s Beach is once again Bruce’s Beach. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- It's not a baseball catcher 2- It's not a Proud Boys supporter 3- It's not slavery denial (though that's close) 4- No, my fetus is a passenger (Great Argument) 5- It's denial that a 10 year old was raped. DING DING DING. You win, Ohio Garbage People. 6- With a touch of Herschel stupid thrown in. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Highland Park Massacre 2- Yes, Marjorie, you do have mental illness. 3- 8 years old... Somehow we’re Ok with that. 4- Your gas price is up? Republicans did that. 5- Free Brittney Griner 6- Tiara Mack twerks Ted Cruz Shoots. Which is Obscene? 7- David “Santa “ Riddell arrested for protesting regulations that don’t exist. You’ve been naughty, Santa. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- It all started in San Francisco... 2- Who’s Line Is It? He improv'ed learning improv. 3- England to unapologetic 4 - The Art of Teaching 5- 30 years and it’s still guns and abortion 6- Dick Cheney and the Good Ole Days 7- Vote, read, and VOTE 8- The Good News Is... See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Jan 6 hearings for entertainment only 2- Yeah but what if it's a Muslim school? 3- He took the day off 4- Grab your gun. The Court has spoken. 5- No ethics rules. Why? They’re Supreme. 6- Plenty of bad cops to go around 7- I mean, it wasn’t a dog. Let's play some football. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- I want to watch some perp walkin'. 2- But it's just a loan 3- I don’t have water. How about some gas? 4- Patriots in a Uhaul? Lock 'em up. 5- Young White Males 6- Criminal profits, oh, I mean gas prices. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Uvalde See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome comic, host, actress, and now EMT: Crystal Marie! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Sarah says comics are better than Representatives 2- Uncle Clarence forgot to talk to Mrs. Uncle Clarence 3- Over educated women scare weak ass cowardly Republican men 4- It's not a difficult issue, it's F**KIN RAPE. 5- Uh... your neighbors joined the protest. 6- Thank you, Ms. Psaki, you’re better than them to the very end. 7- I’m Sean Hannity and I’m a coward. I endorse this message. 8- Airlines are Assholes 9- Everyone is better than elected representatives See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- CHAPPELLE ATTACKED. Going to have to add self defense and security to services 2- Helping comics financially, physically, & mentally 3- Carneys get unemployment, so should we. 4- Comics are generous to our own. We need you too. 5- Golf tournament & Basketball Game 6- Donate. Text Laugh to 707070 comedygivesback.com 7- you might work alone you don’t have to be alone See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Glad he didn't give up 2- Does art imitate life? Nah. 3- Free Speech? Time will tell.. 4- Get rid of them angry followers 5- The Oscars? Pass. 6- Comedy and emotion 7- The best compliments come from both sides 8- Old Dad See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- NYC 2- Masks? We were kidding. You’re fine. 3- Morning news. Morning bad news. 4- Execution: Texas-style 5- Marriage if church and state by the courts 6- Hey, China. We’re banning math books. 7- Teach my child? I’ll sue. 8- Tucker says burn your balls into manhood See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- No, Tucker, a black mass shooter doesn’t make it okay. 2- Ghost guns are still guns 3- Stop those trucks 4- 10000 Ukrainians walk into a bar... 5- Inflation is rough all over 6- Corrupt and Stupid 7- It IS okay to be a Unicorn See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- I started with Hannibal 2- Talk radio: a great job for the 80’s 3- Slap heard round the world 4- Black Lives Houses seem to matter 5- Men go to any lengths to find the Creepy See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Can’t talk about Fox News 2- Cant talk about Apple 3- Chris Rock and Will Smith. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Best Tweet Ever 2- The Chairman calls the idiot from Tennessee. 3- Don't you know who I am?! Unfortunately, we do. 4- Why are Conservatives angry? 5- Mrs. Harris, will you be the deciding vote? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- From Snoop to Martha To Nikki to George... He writes the funny. 2- How do you get Cloris Leachman to work dirty? 3- Finding the funny for them 4- Boston, NY, LA 5- TV in the middle 6- Leaded Gas 7- The good news is… See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Guest Guy Torry 2- Phat Tuesday: The Place to Be 3- Good to be naive 4- Acting with the dark side of comedy 5- Doin' Life 6- Looking back and soaking it up 7- Country Music Awards? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Putin over Biden? Don’t tell Reagan 2- Freedom to deny Freedom 3- Shipping and handling definitely cost extra 4- I’m going to Disneyland 5- EATING SALAD DRUNK by GABE HENRY and us comics See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Sweet Taste of Urine 2- Navy Lieutenant surrenders to second grade 3- What’s my Name? 4- Funniest Dad 5- She’s checking her phone 6- The Parents Lounge 7- Thanks for a sense of wonder See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Voting rights: Gone. 2- Let’s ban the books! 3- The Freedom Convoy, isn’t. 4- He’s Black. Let's shoot him, again! 5- Leo Flowers on Life and Living See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- No such thing as bad publicity 2- Newsom is an idiot 3- Another Fox hero falls 4- Of course it's systematic racism 5- Black women are OVERQUALIFIED and better than you, Cruz. 6- Just don’t pay it 7- Bethany Van Delft See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- John Stockton, we don’t need your assist. 2- Stupid SOB is a Stupid SOB 3- What’s her end game? 4- Ass whoopin Needed. Right NOW! 5- She did it just like the men do 6- Self made inheritance 7- Brian Murdoch: hard at work See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Cancelled 2- Food, Wipeouts, and Soup 3- Scorpion and other inappropriate observations 4- Vaccinate white people 5- Kenny Ray? Coon Rapids? You do the math. 6- Good news. Subpoenas ignored. Career Ended? 7- Alexander Hamilton saw this coming See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- HBO MAX Special 2- Her personal is topical 3- Puerto Rican, Dominican, Light-skinned, LatinX. Let's add woman for fun. 4- Woke ain’t Woke 5- Generations 6- Anyone and everyone is game for funny 7- Covid Pneumonia from Fauci 8- Bob Saget: In tragedy there is HOPE. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- International Comedy2- Been Black and Brooklyn all over the world3- What do they think of us?4- Black Ice5- Celebrity worship6- Friends to the end, sort of.7- It’s my Twitter8- Some good news

1- Insurgence 2- Vaccines and Variants 3- Billionaires in space 4- Schools open. Let's start shooting. 5- Schools open. Let's stop teaching. 6- Justice vs No Justice in Black and White 7- Sports and Science 8- Remember the good ole days when Palin was crazy? 9- You could be from Florida 10- Buy Time 11- In tribute to Tutu: here’s Jonathan Butler See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- What happened to news? 2- Did the lie become the truth? 3- Congress with a conscience 4- Gen X, Y, Z and then… 5- No really, LA has a culture. 6- Dateline the Moon See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Freedom of religion, as long as its my religion. 2- Look at the gun Jesus gave me for Christmas! 3- Is it a Dic Pic? 3- Science tries again. Science fails again. 4- First response is: No 5- Perfect wrong number 6- Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mal Hall. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1- Old Fashioned Stand Up 2- A New Variant 3- Working with the best 4- A Tip on tipping 5- My Brother’s in trouble 6- Christmas tips you can’t use See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.