Alternative Facts from MWRcast

Alt fact of the day: The color orange didn't exist until Willy Wonka discovered the Oompa Loompas. Everything that is orange has a little bit of Oompa Loompas in it.

Alternative Fact of the Day— Cats are good at bowling.

Alternative Fact of the Day— Cats are good at bowling.

Alternative Fact of the Day— When you are injured, nothing happens immediately. Your body waits until it is your birthday to suffer the damage.

Alternative Fact— Everyone is named Gwen.

Alternative Fact of the Day— You can't drown if you're singing.

Alternative Fact of the Day— Bones are made of local businesses.

Alternative Fact— Until 2 years of age, babies have a telepathic connection to the NASDAQ.

Alt Fact— Every grave robber starts out as a humble shovel lover.

Alternative Fact of the Day— Every time Owen Wilson says "wow," an angel gets its wings.

Alt Fact— Forks and humans didn't start cooperating until 1612.

Alternative Fact of the Day— Starting today, clothes are just for 50-year-olds. Sorry for the short notice.

Alternative Fact of the Day— You have never stopped clapping.

Alternative Fact of the Day— Nobody is mean on Thursdays.

Alternative Fact of the Day— see our twitter @mwrcast for the picture of the world map.

Alternative Fact of the Day— Earth would be allowed into the galactic federation if only we'd stop with the skeleton memes.

Alternative Fact of the Day— The word, "Halloween," comes from the German, "Newehallo," which means, "Don't touch me, I'm too spooky."

Alternative Fact of the Day— "Pipipipip!" is the true sound of orgasm.

Alternative Fact of the Day— "Pipipipip!" is the true sound of orgasm.

Alternative Fact of the Day— 99% of the human body is vestigial.

Alternative Fact— Only the guilty sneeze.

Alternative Fact of the Day— This year, Christmas will be replaced by a world wide burping competition (all must compete).

Alternative Fact of the Day— Germs are shy.

Alternative Fact of the Day— Public farting is the only farting allowed.

Alternative Fact of the Day— Elbows are parasitic lifeforms from another world.

Alternative Fact of the Day— Orange peels and human skin are completely interchangeable.

Alternative Fact of the Day— Bananas are the most innocent fruit. Please do not tell them of the anger of the world. Let them be happy.

Alternative Fact of the Day— The boys are not, have not, and never will be back in town. Boys were banned from town in 1999.

Alternative Fact of the Day— Being electrocuted is very similar to enjoying the warmth of a quiet, contemplative dinner among close friends.

Alternative Fact— Mötley Crüe's song "Girls, Girls, Girls" was originally titled "My mother taught me to be calm, to be knowledgeable."

Alt Fact— Chameleons are difficult to see, even to other chameleons. They can only identify each other by their Xbox Live user names.

Alternative Fact of the Day— There is a room somewhere full of old men grunting, and when you grunt, it is one of theirs that comes out.

Alternate Fact of the Day— At the center of each tree is a small boy. Do not speak to this boy. Do not touch this boy. If he sees you, barf.

Alternative Fact of the Day— Jiggling is too serious to laugh about.

alternative fact of the day— capitalization is a myth.

Alternative Fact of the Day— Ducks are known for quacking. Input this cheat code {[53XDUX]} to hear them make any sound.

Alt Fact— "Lip Testing" is the act of pushing your finger into the dry, chapped lips of a senator and contemplating the resulting sounds.

Alternative Fact of the Day— The correct order of the alphabet is as follows: nvjdkflae~u39k§§boatjjjjjj^╚

AFOTD: Last year contained more gulping (among all species) than all previous years combined.

AFOTD: Peter Dinklage isn’t sure about mops.

AFOTD: Ed Begley is unforgettable.

AFOTD: The phrase “I’m a poet and didn’t even know it” guarantees a satisfactory love life to all who speak and hear it.

AFOTD: Cough syrup is tapped from cough trees.

AFOTD: Hats go on feet.

Bitcoins are redeemable only at participating Chuck E Cheese locations.

AFOTD: All pasta is harvested directly from the ovaries of bears.

Walt Disney trademarked the word “hump” in 1925, and nobody is quite sure why.

The act of falling down was named after Connie Falldown, the first person to fall down.

AFOTD: The 2020 Olympics will be the first to feature competitive pornography.

AFOTD: Platypuses are known sinners. Heaven contains none of them.