American Arsenology

Brought to you by Clarence Thomas' best friend. Nervous energy at the Emirates, and the psychological impact from the loss against Crystal Palace cuts deeper than we may have first realized. Concerns exist around Arteta going full-on Trumpian again in his handling of interpersonal relationships, as The Curse of Djed Spence is well and truly upon us. Questions are asked about Albert Sambi Lokonga's future at the club. And, for those expecting a return of Nuno Tavares this season, don't hold your breath. Win, lose, or draw, we support the Arsenal, but even a scarecrow with no brain would have recognized the likely outcome of Arteta's gamble on Lacazette.   

Brought to you by: Paramount Pictures Presents Short-Shorts and The Douche. Starring John Stockton and Aaron Rodgers. 34 crosses on the day and missing Big Bill Saliba. No justice for Gabriel Magalhães as refrains from simulation. Aaron Ramsdale looks to rediscover his form in the dunes of Dubai. Laca's lack of quality to put the game to bed. And finally, an ask of Arsenal World's bipolar fanbase to take their lithium, put on a retro adidas jacket, a pair of blue blockers, and grab a pint of their finest local brew while seeking perspective.      

Brought to you by Microsoft Powerpoint, helping you organize and animate your coup one slide at a time. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang has more disciplinary issues and fails to uphold the values of the captaincy.  Sambi Lokonga and Granit Xhaka still haven't played together since August.  Rob Holding unveils his new rug and it is glorious, as Aaron Ramsdale's usual water-tight backline looks less secure as of late. The ESR/Martinelli conundrum begins in full as Mikel Arteta evaluates his best no. 11.  

Brought to you by the G-20, burn, baby, burn. Aaron Ramsdale is making quite the impression.  Lacazette comes back down to earth after some very good performances. Youri Tielemans proves once again that he would be an excellent signing for Arsenal.  The Gunners go 9 games unbeaten in the Premier League despite some concerning statistics in the 2nd half, but those stats are thrown out the window upon reflection as a sense of optimism engulfs the project as we head into an international break.  Arsenal are on the rise.    

Brought to you by Ivermectin: sterilizing douchebags since 2021. Ho-hum football from Arsenal but a sense of calmness in the air as Aaron Ramsdale gets his first start.  Discussion on Arteta's management of Ainsley Maitland-Niles, and doubts persist if he can make the grade as a midfielder (spoiler, he can't). Giving credit to Arteta and Edu for unearthing Albert Sambi Lokonga.  Questions on how Nico Pepe will fit into the side when ESR is fit, and banging of the drum for Takehiro Tomiyasu getting a run at center-back.