Andrew and Charlie Investigate:

Should we all live in bubbles? Did Charlie kidnap a man? Was Andrew wrong to be naked in a shared house kitchen? Is Sim Jae-duck himself, a toilet?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: / andrewandcharlie

Charlie messaged Lionel Messi when he was 18, there’s a bog snorkelling world championship in Wales and a wife carrying championship in Finland. For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here:   / andrewandcharlie  FOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate @[email protected]

The boys spend a significant amount of time discussing dodgy teachers, recap the worst thing that Andrew has ever said, consider why it’s difficult to imagine Donald Trump using a biro and go through some of their childhood writingFor AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

The boys uncover a worrying conspiracy, discuss Andrew’s lumps, consider whether they’d like to be frozen and suggest that we stop putting teeth in people’s eyes.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

Should Royal Navy ads be targeted toward 16th century pirates? Are the mysterious sea people boring? What is a spleen? Why has Charlie got back into shoplifting?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

The boys get a very important first guest into the studio whilst discussing the historical development of magic over millennia and Charlie eating only broccoli for breakfastFor AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

The boys discuss Andrew’s youth karate experience whilst Charlie alienates members of a boxing club by being weird. They continue their deep dive into the world of ants and consider which one of them would win in a fight

Andrew takes a call with Farmer Eustace to discuss the changing landscape of modern farming. Charlie defends his desire for breastmilk. The boys then chart the troubling rise of Nazi Cows and the international power of Old MacDonald.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

The boys discuss their idea for a last supper restaurant and answer questions such as: Is it possible to trust blind people when we can’t see them? And does wanting an olive make you a cannibal?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

Is revenge a dish best served cold or should we pop it back in the microwave for a bit? An important woman is scandalously silenced, Charlie encourages old testament vigilantism and we crown Miss Revenge 2024.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

The boys discuss how to modernise the circus, Charlie is rude to some freaks, they analyse the horrible tale of an elephant being hung and have a long misunderstanding about the purpose of the Association of Circus Proprietors of Great Britain.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

Do animals think cars are animals? Is a pot of hummus a vehicle? Should we combine showers and cars? Charlie teaches Andrew how to drive.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

Would you prefer to fight an army of Paul Hollywoods or an army of paraplegics? How can we improve military recruitment slogans? How can we enlist River Trolls to help deceive the enemy? And what can we learn from our childhood experiences of breakdancing?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

In their most non-sensical episode yet, the boys attempt to discuss trees whilst answering questions such as: How many of the tallest dwarfs is the biggest tree? Is it worse f*cking a tree or a car? Is there such a thing as human race of giants? Does living in a tree house mean you have to eat tree? They also get their first guest on.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

Would putting on an intergalactic talent show help appease malevolent aliens? Are we all just in a giant bowl of pasta being consumed by a large entity? Are alien abduction stories just excuses for men who have masturbated? Would having sex with an Alien ruin your wedding day?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

In this week’s episode the boys spend most of their time defining what a holiday is, asking important questions such as: can you go on holiday to your living room and is it possible to stay attached to your mother’s umbilical cord until you’re 21?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

CHARLIE IS STUCK IN AUSTRALIA BECAUSE OF WAR SO WE COULDN'T RECORD A FRESH EPISODE! We're releasing a Patreon episode for free this week in place of the main. We are VERY sorry about this, we love you all and will be back to regular programming next week.The boys discuss another disastrous weekend for Charlie, why old people's chairs are so important, the Epstein files* and Charlie's attempt to read. *Epstein files take is from a couple weeks ago so if you think it's old and you've heard it on another podcast then you're completely right.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

The boys discuss how their dead bodies would be more use to a war effort than their alive ones, what could get done with an invisible penis, they dive into Charlie’s short lived modelling career and finally settle whether or not babies have the ability to breathe underwater.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

The boys discuss whether there should be a Nintendogs for our inner demons, Charlie’s visit to just outside of the Coronation Street set, they each create new monsters for the modern world and decide which mythical beast is the most desirable.Their pieces take us inside Andrew’s bedroom and raising a baby monster.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

In their dumbest episode yet, the boys discuss: Can you make a cloud in your bedroom? How can we make weather discussion more interesting? Does everyone want to be struck by lightning? Why are Frognados so prolific? They also exhibit some of their most bizarre pieces which take us into a shop selling Charlie Milner’s and a particularly rainy day.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

What in the world does the person at the bottom of the double luge do? Are all snowboarders good for nothing weed-smoking teenagers? Why is everyone meaner in the snow? And the boys turn their haters into Diesel fuel. The pieces take us down the ice track and into a troubling new obsession within a relationship.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

Could we save the high street with holograms? Is it acceptable to fondle avocados in Tesco? Does Charlie live in a Londis? What would a Moonpig shop look like?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

Are volcanoes insecure or horny? Could volcanoes take us to space? Can you swim under Britain? Would Charlie have been a top graffiti artist in Pompeii?The pieces take us into the final minutes before Pompeii’s explosion and a Volcano trying to become a man.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

Is Andrew too big a fan of Top Gear to go clubbing? Should Charlie stop pounding his fists like a monkey on the dancefloor? Was it right that Andrew became the victim of a public shaming for his friend’s theft of an ornament on a Psytrance night? Should we ban baby raves? The boys also take on their most ambitious piece to date.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

Was Charlie responsible for the Boston Marathon bombings? Would it be better if we all had a photographic memory? Is Charlie to blame for a naked woman nearly falling through a roof? Why did Andrew put a moose’s antlers up his nose?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

Should we become lethal for new year? Should we be meaner to our friends? What does potato language sound like? Do we only inherit nipples from our mothers?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

Merry Christmas and God bless us, everyone. 

Should we put babies in the overhead bins? Should everyone be allowed a plane? Will Charlie’s dad succeed in his quest for flight? For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

Are our fridges listening to us? Has there been a cover up of a sentient malignant printer? Should we all be uploaded to the cloud instead of having bodies? What the fuck is going on with vinyl grooves?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

Are jury trials outdated? Should we incubate a small boy to make all our legal decisions? Was the pig who was tried for murder actually innocent? What's the drawn in hung, drawn and quartered? For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie

Should we go back to a Soviet style of advertising? Why is Charlie so allured by the baby Evian advert? Can smells make you give more to charity? What would an advert for this podcast look like?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate @[email protected]

Why is Charlie faking an injury? Why does a metal pole in your skull turn you into a lewd man? How can a Haemorrhoid make you a feminist? For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate @[email protected]

Do you have to be bald to be baptised as an adult? Why does a town keep voting in Goat Mayors? Should you help find a lost baby’s parents if it’s having a great time?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate @andrewkirwancomedy @charlie.charles.charlie

Should Charlie get into mall walking? Why's everyone running marathons? When should you stop calling your Dad, Daddy? For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate  @[email protected]

Is it possible to be a free individual in a mass society? Why does Andrew look like an Italian peasant? What lessons can we learn from conformity experiments? Does Charlie think that the moon was made by ants? Why are Andrew and Charlie so confused? For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate  @[email protected]

Is it ever just to steal? How do you do a weekly shop? Should we approach theft from a utilitarian or absolutist standpoint? When does a beech stop being a beach? For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate  @[email protected]

We ask important questions such as: What are the ethics around getting plastic surgery to look 10 again? Why is Charlie going grey so early? And why does Bryan Johnson look like that?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate  @[email protected]

The boys take it all off.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate  @[email protected] by LRG Studios

Uploading a previous episode. Here the boys swim in the seas of loneliness, trying to uncover what, if anything can be gained from being alone.For AD free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlieInvestigate  @[email protected] by LRG Studios

The boys dive into their innermost troubles, discussing what keeps themselves and the world up at night - and why.For AD free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlieInvestigate  @[email protected] by LRG Studios

See you next Thursday.