PODCAST · comedy
Ask An Iranian
by Ask An Iranian
There's nothing sensible about what we're doing — like hosting Iran's #1 English-language podcast... until we can't. So get that hashtag ready #FreeAskAnIranian
Episodes
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Is it safe to visit Iran?
You have lots of questions about Iran, we know! One of which—maybe the third—is likely to be, “Is it safe to visit Iran?”. If you ask us, we’d say yes. If you ask your Home Office, they’d say no. Sure, it’s complicated, and if you’re reading this any time between 1979 and 2029, it’s even more...
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Baba, why did you circumcise me?
We put it out to our Iranian audience. We asked them if they prefer their men cut, i.e. circumcised. They mostly preferred it. We also asked them if they think being cut is a good idea. They mostly thought it was a good idea. Lastly, we asked them if they would have their next male child cut.…
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How deep will an Iranian uncle’s love go?
You might have uncles, and you might have aunties. Iranians, however, have uncles, and they have uncles, and they have non-uncle uncles. This is because the titles given, differ, depending on the relation. Although this is not unique to Iran, there are many uniquely Iranian things that the world...
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WTF are NFTs and why are Iranian artists into them?
[NOTE OF WARNING: please read below before setting up an account for NFTs.] How much is a really good replica of a Mona Lisa worth? It might only be worthy of wiping your rear with — which should come as no surprise to you. This is because she’s a one-off work of art, or “non-fungible”. The…
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What’s it like being Christian in a Muslim nation?
Jesus Christ! We love him! Muslims love him! He’s one of the prophets that we Muslims recognise. In fact, in the Quran, he gets mentioned by name 25 times, making him the most mentioned person in the holy book. You might also be surprised to hear that communities of Christians live among Muslims…
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Are all Iranian men mummy’s boys?
In Iran we don't refer to somebody as the special child of a family — we refer to them as the golden willy. And, we think that's cute, if not a little sexist. Fret not though dear sisters, because this is not considered a compliment. A golden willy, or "dodool talā" as we say in Persian, can also...
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What MUST you do in Iran?
No, this isn't about tourist stuff — no, no, this one is about what you're kinda forced to do in Iran. And yes, you'd be forgiven for thinking that a list of what you must do in Iran would be longer than other nations — but is that strictly true? Well, probably yes. How much more, is something we...
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Farsi or Persian — who’s wrong?
You might say you speak German, French, or Swahili, but you never say you speak Deutsch, Français, or Kiswahili. This is the logic behind people saying they speak Persian—when saying it in English—as opposed to saying they speak Farsi. Why let logic get in the way of your "feels" though?! You…
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What is the most Iranian thing?
The Americans have obesity, the French have snobbery and the Saudis have hacksaws, but what is the most Iranian thing? To help figure this one out, we called on the help of our audience, and the results... were weird, in parts. We obviously got answers such as Persian rugs, nose jobs, and…
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Fingilish, or is it Pingilish?
You make sounds — mouth sounds. You make them with intention because you probably want to ask your Pilates instructor if you can swap Tuesdays for Mondays. Other peoples do this, but with different mouth sounds — mouth sounds that have gradually found characters, and gradually become alphabets....
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Why do Iranians think we’re better than them?
To Iranians, ze Germans are foreign, but ze Chinese… well, they're just Chinese! It’s the same with many other nationalities and ethnicities for Iranians in Iran — some are foreign and some are just themselves. This type of categorisation tacitly exists and is just… discriminatory. Yes, it’s…
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How much do Iranians tip?
You do it. We do it. Even educated Iranian PhDs do it. Let's do it. Let's show a little extra gratitude. So yes, Iranians do have a culture of tipping, but there are differences. Now, where, when and how should you show this gratitude when tipping in Iran — well, allow us to explain. In this...
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Why bother?
We want your questions, BUT... not those questions! No, we're not talking about the ones where we get asked about where men can meet men in Iran. No, no, it's that one question that we repeatedly get asked. It's asked by our parents, our siblings, our aunts and uncles, and most of our friends. In...
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What do Iranians vote for?
Yes, Iran has a functioning democracy, and no, this episode won't help you fully understand its complex structure. We can, however, help you understand that its structure has a presidential role. Yes, every four years Iranians will get out and vote for a candidate to fulfil this role. This...
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What doesn’t happen at Iranian birthday parties?
Birthdays happen to the best of us, and Iranians are no exception. To make things worse, these yearly occurrences won't just happen once a year — no, no... Think about it, there are many Iranian birthday parties. There's your parents' birthdays, your aunts' and uncles' birthdays, your work chums'...
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Can women play football… in Iran?
In 2005 our guest, Katayoun Khosrowyar, arrived in Iran, fresh-off-the-boat and completely unaware of how her visit would change the direction of her life, as well as the lives of other Iranian women. This isn't because she turned up without a headscarf and had to borrow another woman's, but more...
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Are All Iranians Hairy?
An inquisitive English lady by the name of Lucy got in touch with us, hoping to settle a question that has been on her mind. She lives on an artists' residency with an Iranian, and this gentleman seems to have aroused her curiosity. What Lucy is curious to know is, are all Iranians hairy? To help...
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Flight stories… what’s Iran got?
What better way to derive stories than to surround yourself with unfamiliar people, in an unfamiliar place, and with unfamiliar expectations. One specific way in which you can do this is to simply take a flight. Yes, just one trip on a plane is all you need to gain ample resource for reiteration…
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No?
Iranians are not ones for saying no, but occasionally when they do say no, they don't actually say no. Having said that, they will either be polite with you while not saying no or will be impolite with you when indicating no. This is because Iranians, like others around the Middle East, will...
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How do I propose to an Iranian girl?
This is Amir, minutes after proposing to the girl that's grabbing his face. She said yes, and the day after, Amir went to her parent's house to do it as it should be done in Iran. Don't be Amir — run it by the Iranian parents first. Welcome to part 1 of 34 in a series about Iranian marriage. To...
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Which Iranian national anthem is which?
The most fun part of any Olympics is when the medals are given and you get to experience the differences between national anthems. Unfortunately, you'll be listening to the American, Chinese and Russian anthems more than you'd like, but on the odd occasion that an athlete from a lesser-known…
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How do I “fakefast”?
Even the world's fastest-growing religion occasionally needs to take a break. Yes, each year it takes a month-long break and fills it with lots of breakier brakes. Call it a celebration; call it an endurance test — either way, you'll be calling it Ramadan. Although the fundamentals are the same,...
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Norooz, Norouz, Nowruz?
Time—it has been said—is a concept, by which we measure our pain. We're gonna say it again... time... is a concept... by which we measure... our pain. Now, let's take that concept (with its accompanying pain) and turn it around. In doing this, we've invented celebrations. Some peoples and…
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Why do Iranians blackface? (feat. Tehran Von Ghasri)
Colour plays an important role in the social hierarchy, and it's important that everyone knows their place. Such social constructs play an important part in elevating the important people above the lower-level nobodies. Using this construct we wanted to elevate ourselves, which is why we wanted…
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Why do Iranians “hamash” code-switch?
There are languages you know you speak, and there are bits of other languages that you don't know you speak. New concepts arrive; those concepts get coined, and as and when they get used elsewhere, we see languages evolve. To give yourself an example, simply try speaking English, without using...
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How do I “hodl” Bitcoin in Iran?
It was Voltaire that once said, "paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value: zero". The US dollar is getting close in that respect, in that $100 in 1913 would only be worth about $3.87 today. In the race to the bottom, however, the Iranian Rial is winning. It took around a 5th of the...
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What $#!± should I not say in Persian?
What are the first words you learn when learning another language? It's always the same of course! You learn how to ask if the meat is halal, if the toilets have a botty-hose, and of course, the names of various four-legged animals. After you've impressed any newly-found foreign friends with the...
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[redacted] in Iran?
You're a curious one, aren't you! You're not alone though, you are most likely a human, which means you think things like, "what happens if I put an effervescent tablet in sparkling water?". There are some things that you think about but never act on, such as pushing that man in front of that…
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What are the weirdest Iranian names?
What is the sweetest, most important sound in any language, and why does it have so many variations? Well, according to Dale Carnegie, writer of one of the most popular 20th-century books, that sound is the sound of your own name. If you're new to Iranian names though, you'll likely be making…
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What’s the deal with Iran?
Are you bored with the long-running spat between Iran and everyone? Us neither! It's so long-running that academia has kinda coined a word for it. Yes, don't be surprised if you later find out that some Iranian, in some Western university decided to summarise all this hoohaa as "geopolitics"....
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Do Iranians do it louder?
It goes without saying that Iranians invented pretty much everything, ever! So it shouldn't come as a surprise that the two-handed finger-snap is better known as the Iranian finger-snap. This method of finger-clicking is not only different, in that it requires two hands, but it's different in…
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Persians vs. Iranians… who wins?
What somebody identifies as has been all the rage in recent years, but like nearly everything—ever!—Iranians did it first. Since 1935, when Iran ceased to officially be Persia, Iranians have been choosing to refer to themselves as Persians. Throughout the following years, the reasons have changed...
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How much English can Iranians e’speak?
Unfortunately, you don't yet have a Universal Translator, and most likely, you don't have 200 years to wait for one. You do, however, have various translation tools available to you, but... effort... urgh! You've learned English, and you've probably also worked hard for an IELTS 7.5 result, but…
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What do Iranians think of America?
There's beef; there's a whole lot of beef; and there's a meat-feast, at a carvery, on a Sunday, at the Annual Cannibal Conference, level of beef. This is the level of beef that we've arrived at between Iran and America. In this episode, we discuss some of the defining points in the decades of…
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What went right in 2020?
We're "glass-half-full" kinda people, which is why we never look at an empty pistachio shell with a frown. No, no! There are many applications for an empty pistachio shell, and we're sure that we'll find them soon. For those that aren't us though, the year 2020 was like finding that empty pista...
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Should I spend the night with a Persian poet?
Each year, Light conquers Dark. It's not even a competition! Light is truly a bad-ass battler, and Dark's heart is really never in it. It's for this reason that the bookies will never give you good odds. This is 2020 however, and things could end up going the other way. To help prepare you for a...
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How do I avoid a hard Irexit?
You say hello, and we Iranians say goodbye, goodbye, and goodbye. It is an almost ritualistic ending to any gathering and is a practice that you should definitely know about. In this episode we let you know how to delicately announce your departure, and how to respond when your host protests.…
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What does Tehran taste like?
Catering to 8.5m Tehran residents with increased exposure to, and an increased expectation for international dishes is tough. Although tough, it's also been one of the reasons behind the capital's recent restaurant industry boom. Yes, part of this boom has been accompanied by Iroonianising the…
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How do I sweet-talk an Iranian?
Words of affection, for Iranians, will flow out like endless rain into a paper cup. In fact, the Iranian universe is positively overflowing with them — so much so that even the Iranians can't keep up. If you're new to learning about affection in Iranian culture, it's weird; if you're familiar…
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Taxi stories… what’s Tehran got?
Taxi trips are more than just a means of getting from A to B — they are about the experiences on the journey. Taxi trips in Iran however, are somewhat similar and somehow different. On a taxi journey in Iran, you'll likely be taken through the entire alphabet, but you can at least hop out happy,...
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How do I move to Iran?
A question that has likely crossed your mind this week is, whether you should move to Iran or not. Well, you're not alone. To help those wrestling with this decision we brought in Katya, the woman behind 'Stranger In Tehran'. For ten years or so, this Russian-born lady has been using her platform...
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Are Iranians funny?
As is said in Persian, "Iranians worship strangers", and therefore lavishing them with nuts and tea is a standard. To take it to the next stage however, Iranians need to bring out the compliments and the comedy. In this episode we explore that, and more, with an emerging young Iranian comedian,...
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What animal will lead the US?
You know how you sometimes look at a person and think, naked mole rat? Well, this episode is kinda mostly about those kinda moments. These moments seem to exist because we, as humans, can't help but attribute animal characteristics to things. This can be based on the way something acts, but seems...
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Are Iranian girls players?
So, we recently learned that you can make a living, sitting on your behind and shooting at virtual characters... even in Iran. To help us get out heads around this, we chatted with 'Yeggiz', an Iranian gamer girl, who is doing just that. Unperturbed by the many issues faced by Iranian gamers…
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Am I also expected to die for an Iranian?
Those of you with Iranian friends might have had that moment. You know, the moment when your friend casually suggests that they'll sacrifice him or herself for you. It could have come in response to simply saying goodbye, or maybe after you offered to make them a cup of tea. Either way, this...
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What the f_@k is with that music?
Most of you love it, and a few of you absolutely hate it. We know this because you've begged us to change it. We're talking about the intro music to our show. To help settle this issue we once again invited Aryo, of The Devil Dog, to provide something new to possibly replace it. Up to now, we…
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Do Iranians live in a different time?
Nothing about how Iranians perceive time correlates with universally understood principles. Regardless of whether it's years, calendar events in the year, months, weeks, days, or even moments, Iranians will do time differently. So be warned, don't plan a meeting, don't arrange a surprise birthday...
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What should I know before dating a Persian girl?
You asked for it, we done did it. We joined forces with the Persian Girl Podcast to discuss the expectations and complications with dating Iranians — or should would we say Persians? Having the Persian Girl Podcast girls join us meant that we were able to present the domain of dating from both…
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What does Tehran sound like at 2:22am?
What have we done?! That's a great question — you're a curious one, aren't you? Allow us to explain. So we did a prequel show — but didn't know that it would be a prequel while making it. We'd scheduled a recording with the American-based Persian Girl Podcast at 2am Iran-time, but they were a...
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What do Japanese people think of Iranian-made sushi?
In this episode, we were delighted to be joined by Mr Yoshioka, a Japanese expat currently living and working in Iran. Against his better judgement, we wanted to sit, eat Iranian-made sushi, and chat about his experience of living and working in Iran. We also get answer to the following...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
There's nothing sensible about what we're doing — like hosting Iran's #1 English-language podcast... until we can't. So get that hashtag ready #FreeAskAnIranian
HOSTED BY
Ask An Iranian
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Ask An Iranian have?
Ask An Iranian currently has 63 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Ask An Iranian about?
There's nothing sensible about what we're doing — like hosting Iran's #1 English-language podcast... until we can't. So get that hashtag ready #FreeAskAnIranian
How often does Ask An Iranian release new episodes?
Ask An Iranian has 63 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
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Who hosts Ask An Iranian?
Ask An Iranian is created and hosted by Ask An Iranian.
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