PODCAST · comedy
Astrology Roast
by Etai Ben Simhon
Astrology. Pop culture. LGBTIQ. Love, and heartbreak. Your hosts Keren (Gemini) and Etai (Aries), just like every Jennifer Lopez movie character, are trying to make ends meet while staying authentic and looking great in a tracksuit. Join us on this astrological journey.
Episodes
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Episode 97: HOW ARE YOU?
Hi hi hi.... why is 'how are you' such a triggering question? what would you bury at the funeral for your insecurities and what is your wish for the Jewish New Year? Xoxo Keren and Etai
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Episode 96: The Spark
Hi everyone!!! Hope you are surviving this retrograde... In times of need and despair, we look up to the wise Aquarius, Oprah. This episode we are trying to figure out how to keep the spark alive using Oprah's tips. Are they helpful? mmm...... We also try to figure out what the fuck is happening...
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Episode 95: Dancing With The Devil
What a wild ride. Addictions. Demi. Montero. Aries Season. All of it. xx
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Episode 94: And Just Like That...
Sex And The City is coming back! (minus Samantha) and we got some things to say about it. We also talk about Astrology and conspiracy theories and of course Anti by Rihanna,
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Episode 93: It's Been A While
Quoting the legendary miss Britney Spears, we know we shouldn't have kept you waiting, but we're here now. Inspired by Esther Perel's webinar, this episode is all about mentors, the people who see us and leave a mark in our story.
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Episode 92: Jessica Lanyadoo
Say hi to one of our favorite episodes to date. We had the privilege of speaking to Jessica Lanyadoo, the Capricorn we all need in our lives. Wise and practical! Join us in this conversation on queerness, tennis balls, vitamins, hope, determination, Jesus and a million of other things.
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Episode 91: Rebellion
Mercury retro is over, so it's safe to speak again. This episode we share some of our retrograde horror stories, but also look up to the most iconic rebels out there who inspire us to rebel against the evil forces in this world. We even managed to not talk about politics at least 5 times this...
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Episode 90: Bitch, Be Humble (cause of the evil eye)
Do you believe in the evil eye? well whether if you do or you don't, we got some new for you - it's real and it was probably placed on you by a Scorpio. How to know if you're affected? How to fight it? all the answers are in this episode. Sorry for the shitty sound, the cat dropped the mic!!!
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Episode 89: REGRET @fojam
The amazing people at Fojam Melbourne invited us once again to do a live episode. We spoke about regret, atonement, people who need to ask us for forgiveness, reparenting, and so so so much more. Tune in here or watch the live episode on our IGTV. Please check out @fojammelbourne for incredible...
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Episode 88: Reparenting & Chromatica
The two things that affected the past month the most for us were Chromatica, Lady Gaga's new album and way of understanding life, and the hashtag reparenting, which is all th evalidation anyone can ask for. Of course Virgo month had some effect on us as well, but that's only if you believe...
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Episode 87: ERIS WAP
Did you hear about Eris? She is the sister planet of Mars, and she is not playing around. This week we spoke about how society treats the Eris women in our lives, and why they are so important. We also came up with a genius plan (if we say so ourselves) of how to fix all the problems in the…
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Episode 86: #FREEBRITNEY?
Many of you asked for this episode - so here it is! It's no secret Brtney Sagittarius icon means a lot to us so we did our best making this episode with respect and care for her. On Thursday the 30th 8PM Australia time we are going live on our Instagram page as part of the FOJAM festival. Make…
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Episode 85: Focusing On Our Careers
Hi everyone! Cancer Season is here! We decided to ditch the questions on focus on things that are more important, like how to get your grandma off your back when she asks you about when are you going to get married but you are actually a lesbian but you don't want to come out. We also talk about...
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Episode 84: How To Fall In Love Part 2
Part 2 is here. Tune in to here us answer fun questions like "what is your most treasured memory?" and horrifying questions like "do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?"
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Episode 83: How To Fall In Love Part 1
So apparently there are these 36 questions designed to make you fall in love with someone. As a podcast which celebrates platonic love, we decided to do it and report. In this episode we are doing the first set of the 36 questions! Did we become closer? did we end up fighting? this is only the...
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Episode 82: Solar Returning Y’all
IT'S OUR 2ND BIRTHDAY! Against the odds, and Aries and a Gemini kept a podcast alive for 2 years now. Who would've thought. Anyway, we made a sweet birthday episode, talking about some of the most iconic characters and star signs who were a part of these two years, where are they now? Tune in to...
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Episode 81: we found hope in a hopeless place
This episode we are talking about the H word. Hope. If you heard more than one episode of this podcast you know it isn't a topic we are so good at, but we sure did try our best. Obviously our way of talking about hope was through Britney burning her gym down as well as classic Hollywood movies…
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Episode 80: Ambiguous Grief
So this week there is still a world pandemic so we decided to address the elephant in the room and talk about a topic we know very well - grief! What are we grieving for? and where are we on the staged of grief? But obviously we can't be just serious, so we talk about the Scorpio from Instagram,...
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Episode 79: Life After Corona (we are the worst)
We tried to imagine what the world after corona virus looks like, and would the star signs be happy with it. Turns out we are privileged dicks and we apologize in advance. Tune in to this one to hear about Adidas branded masks, Zoom Passovers, keep cups and some self compassion. Sending love and...
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Episode 78: We're Still Here
Sick of making sourdough? Have you finished watching Tiger King? Sick of going live on Insta? Can't do another zoom workout? Here is an episode for you. Can't recall what we have been talking about on this one. Tune in and we will make it through together.
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Episode 77: Signs In Quarantine
What the fuck is happening? We have no idea. BUT - we made an episode that will hopefully help you go through this quarantine. Anything you need to know about how every sign is dealing with being stuck at home is right here in this episode. Taurus - sorry in advance. Sending everyone so much love...
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Episode 76: The Original Feminists
Ok firstly for the record the title is a joke, don't @ us. Other than tune in this week for a conversation about Dua Lipa, the end of the world, Lady Gaga, Women's Day, Virgo use of KPI for dating, English as a second language and honestly - a million more topics. Thanks for listening to us! We...
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Episode 75: Happy Pisces Retrograde
Another day another retrograde. Could a retrograde be a positive thing? if running into your ex, his wife and their two children is positive, then yes. Some side effect of the retrograde might be making up a fake roommate named Brett. Also, we tried to record this episode 3 times!!! if that…
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Episode 74: Queer Cosmos
This week we are interviewing Colin Bedell, a queer astrologer, author, Gemini stellium, Britney fan and overall a super smart and funny person we we're so luck to have on the podcast. We spoke about Britney's foot, the epidemic of loneliness, why Geminis should get a better reputation and the...
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Episode 73: Love Cauldron
Is there a topic we haven't covered this episoe? not really. Valentine's day? covered. Iphone VS Samsung? covered. Jlo and Shakira? covered. Childhood trauma and ways to solve it? covered. Astrology? who can say really. Either way we are so happy to be back with another rollercoaster of an…
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Episode 72: One in a Thousand
Hi ya'll how's 2020 treating you so far?Tune in to hear about our new year's eve (19 days later) and about Capricorn season which is just about to pass.We also talk about King Solomon and his star sign (shout out to god and the bible), which star signs work at an advertising agency, and PLENTY MORE!
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Episode 71: Nadiya Shah
This is what dreams are made of. We got a chance to interview our absolute favourite Astrologer who is a huge part of our astrological journey and one of the biggest inspirations for us to start this podcast - Nadiya Shah. We has an incredible conversation with her, talking about some of the most...
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Episode 70: Flirting Is Not Cheating
Sagittarius season came and gone, and we are here to sum it up and look forward to Capricorn season. Also, we took time to answer the question which was raised many many episodes ago, is flirting cheating? a Libra would probably say no, but is there an objective truth? We definitely discussed…
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Episode 69: End of a Decade(s)
It's Sag month bitches! and honestly we have a great ep for ya'll!! We talk about, 2020 and the past decades, Britney Spears, homophobia, spicy food, peak virgo behaviour and WHAT NOT, and yes I didn't put a capital V at the virgo just to piss you virgos off. Anyway love you always, xx
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Episode 68: Scorpio Fuckery
Hiiiiii we've missed you so much! It's been a minute since our last episode. Mercury was retrograding like a mother fucker, and Scorpio season was burning us to ashes so we can get back up again and live our best lives during Sagittarius season that is HERE. Tune in this episode to hear some…
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Episode 67: No Hablo Español
SCORPIO SEASON IS HERE!!! It's been a year (obviously) since last Scorpio season, and here we are again. Sexual and vengeful than ever. Keren is now mingling with Astrology Roast listeners in Buenos Aires (shout out Morita) while Etai is visiting witches in Tel Aviv. Add to that Scorpio season…
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Episode 66: HUSTLERS
If you thought we would let a new Jennifer Lopez film pass us by without making a special episode... do you even know us? Well, Hustlers the movie has been out for a while and we got stuff to say. What are the star signs of each character? Why is Julia Stiles in it? Is Nicole Kidman Michael...
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Episode 65: Interview with Zackary Drucker
Hi everyone, we had the privilege of interviewing the talented Taurean, Zackary Drucker. The recording is not amazing but the content is GOLD! This interview took place at FOJAM festival. For more details: https://fojam.com Thank you Zackary for your thoughts and time :)
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Episode 64: The Stump
LIBRA SEASON IS HERE! This ep we are talking about the story of The Giving Tree, which is essentially a sexist children's book that is describing a horrible relationship. We also talk about The Bachelor, the Kardashians, Britney's Astrology lesson, and lots more. Thanks for listening xx
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Episode 63: The Most Of Every Sign - Part Two
Yes this is us dropping two episodes in a row! Part 2 of our critically acclaimed series is here! Tune in to hear all the tea on the second half of the Zodiac - Libra to Pisces. We had so much fun recording these two episodes, hope you guys like 'em! xx
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Episode 62: The Most Of Every Sign - Part One
This is a VERY fun two part series in which we go sign by sign, and share their crazy behaviour around us during the recent few weeks. This episode technically goes from Aries to Virgo, but honestly you should just listen to all of it cause the tea is HOT. Xoxo
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Episode 61: Vanilla Brats
It's Virgo month bitches! Please excuse the background noises. We really should have kept them for a different month in which people pay less attention to detail like... gemini? Anyway - join in to hear us discuss the BDSM test and how it connects to our charts! We also talk about the hottest...
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Episode 60: Butts, Leos, and IBS
Hi everyone! It's only been two weeks but we miss you all CONSTANTLY. This episdoe was recorded at the peak of Mercury Retrograde so as always - we apologize in advance. Tune in to this one to hear about which star sign is connected to which body part. Who has beautiful voices? Who owns the…
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Episode 59: Fortune Telling
This week we have a pre-recorded episode with our amazing guests all the way from Sydney! Kitty (Taurus) and Ally (Pisces) who you might recognize from our famous Daddy Issues and The Big Roast episodes. Kitty is an amazing Tarot reader, and she is here to serve us all the tea. Ally is a wise...
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Episode 58: What Would Natalie Portman Do
The tide is high but we’re holding on! And we even have a new way to disassociate. Tune in to learn about the Natalie Portman method. Other than that, it is a Mercury Retrograde episode so a description won’t cut it. Just listen. We also mention @idanmatalon and @kayxstars check her out she’s...
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Episode 57: Total Eclipse of the Heart
Holy fucking shit if you look up in the sky everything seems normal but actually shit is going DOWN! We have Cancer season, Mercury retro, eclipses and what not. But we're still here, showing up and doing our best to keep money safe, and have our daily coffee. We also discuss the 5 love…
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Episode 56: The Juices Of The Rubbish
Pride Month is here and we got some tea. Is straight pride the same as Leo pride? Are Cancerians funny? Why do everyone hate on Kim K for doing the most obvious thing as a Libra and studying law??? Also, we obviously have a Britney update for you. This one is a bit messy, so buckle up for a bumpy...
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Episode 55: Oceans Won't Tear Us Apart
We have a brand new fresh outta the oven episode for you!!! With the help of the miracle that is called the Internt, we managed to record our first overseas episode of Astrology Roast! We are talking about Gemini season which is hitting us all like a slap in the face, Keren many many Gemini jobs,...
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Episode 54: The Bible
What is the connection between the bible and Astrology? Nicki (Libra) is here to try and help us understand. This week we explore the representation of Lilith, her story and her role in people's charts. She is a boss ass bitch and it's super interesting. Also, what's the deal with women in the...
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Episode 53: 3,183 Stages Of Grief
Our couch is gone. Our beautiful comforting Leo couch has been taken by a hipster couple. This week on Astrology Roast we are talking about grief, and the different stages it can manifest in life. Later this week Etai (Aries) is leaving Australia after nearly 4 years, and our way of dealing with…
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Episode 52: We ♥ Technology
Targeted ads, Netflix, google, Instagram, Bitcoin, technology and the internet (ruled by Mercury) are an integral part of our lives. Good or bad? depends who you ask. We actually love it, and can't wait for the government to take our finger prints and steal our identities. The meme world is...
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Episode 51: The Saṃsāra
As promised, we tried to find ourselves in a nudity-optional festival on a Libra full moon, and boy did we find ourselves. We definitely found something. Keren (Gemini) is investing in bitcoin these days! Tune in this week as we explore the themes of fake consent, stepping outside of your comfort...
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Episode 50: Slaves 4 U
Happy Easter and Pesach Sameach everyone! Holidays, fun and relaxing as they may be, can sometimes also induce some anxiety. Especially ones which require hanging out with your family or singing songs about how someone is trying to kill us every year, like the Jewish holiday Passover. However, we...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Astrology. Pop culture. LGBTIQ. Love, and heartbreak. Your hosts Keren (Gemini) and Etai (Aries), just like every Jennifer Lopez movie character, are trying to make ends meet while staying authentic and looking great in a tracksuit. Join us on this astrological journey.
HOSTED BY
Etai Ben Simhon
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Astrology Roast have?
Astrology Roast currently has 99 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Astrology Roast about?
Astrology. Pop culture. LGBTIQ. Love, and heartbreak. Your hosts Keren (Gemini) and Etai (Aries), just like every Jennifer Lopez movie character, are trying to make ends meet while staying authentic and looking great in a tracksuit. Join us on this astrological journey.
How often does Astrology Roast release new episodes?
Astrology Roast has 99 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Astrology Roast?
You can listen to Astrology Roast on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Astrology Roast?
Astrology Roast is created and hosted by Etai Ben Simhon.
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