PODCAST · health
Atoosa Unedited
by with Atoosa Rubenstein
When your life gets bat sh*t crazy, I can help. The podcast of the Atoosa Unedited newsletters! atoosa.substack.com
Episodes
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Just Call Me Frankenboob
Hey! I keep disappearing from this space. Just as I started to integrate the new information I wrote about last time, my scans showed (in the words of my breast surgeon), “This breast wants to make cancer.” January 28th, I had a mastectomy and DIEP flap reconstruction. My Frankenboob looks…
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Are You Sitting Down?
Hey! When you title an essay, “One Last Secret,” I guess you’re asking for it, right? My last Substack was about how all my life I’d subconsciously been trying get closer with my family of birth. I went through a laundry list of reasons for why we may not be close. I won’t bore you with a full...
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One Last Secret
hey! For the last three years, together, we have picked through my dirty laundry. Did you see it all? Believe it or not….No. But I think you will agree that you’ve seen puh-lenty. In fact, maybe it was more period-stained undies than you wanted (or needed) to see. I am reminded of a line from...
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I Want To Give Up!
hey, Once upon a time, I was the poster girl for ambition. So much so that 16 years after I stopped working, The Cut profiled me for their ambition series. And I fondly remember the fun New York Times profile entitled, “Coconut Shrimp? Ambition Can Wait,” in which the late, great David Carr...
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I Haven't Been Truthful With You...
The Weeknd is starting to use his given name, Abel Tesfaye. This feels meaningful to me. You know what they say. Words are spells. And if words are spells, then your name must be the personal spell you cast on the world. Or at least that’s what I always thought. After all, when I got married at…
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Doing The Single Mom Shuffle
I won’t lie. I did NOT want to be a single mom. Despite knowing deep down that my husband and I had grown apart, I held tight to my marriage. I did over a decade of deep therapeutic soul searching trying to pinpoint the cause of that pebble in-my-shoe feeling. Was it my mother? My career? Was it...
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What I Learned About Marriage
I have a theory and if it makes you worked up, I encourage you to sit with it a little longer before you disagree. If you’ve had trauma of any sort as a child, I believe your first marriage will be based in that trauma. Some version of repeating it so you can either finally break free or remain...
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Cancer Has Been Good For Me
I’m racing to write and record this for you in the moments before my second surgery. But before I go in, I want to tell you something odd. Cancer has been good for me. I can’t lie. In the first 24 hours, I journeyed through some very difficult feelings relating to my mortality and how that would...
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I Have A Third Nipple
I’m going to do something a little differently this week. Instead of writing an essay and then reading it for the audio portion, I’m just going to talk and then transcribe what I say. It’s what I’m more comfortable with so let’s try it as an experiment. I’ve been thinking about...
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I Have Breast Cancer
I have breast cancer. No burying the lede here, right? Listen, I’m not trying to be coy or clever. I just want you to know why you haven’t heard from me. Well…that’s not entirely true. I hadn’t written for a few weeks already before I got my diagnosis. So…perhaps we go back in time a bit. As I...
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Trigger Warning 🤮
The purpose of this letter is to share my experiences in case you relate. I’m not a doctor or a therapist…but I would TOTALLY play one on TV if you ask nicely. 🤩 I had a really hard week. And…cut. 🎬 How do you feel when I tell you I’ve had a hard week. Notice if you have a resistance to this.…
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Atoosa from Seventeen is Dead
I had an experience the other night that felt psychedelic…except it wasn’t. But it was…even though it wasn’t. Let me explain. I was out to dinner with some lovely folks. Smart, gorgeous, successful, the typical kind of 212s you may expect me to be out to dinner with. 212 being the shorthand for...
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Weight Lost, Self Found.
I once had a boss when I was in my early 20s who said whenever she was really happy, she’d gain weight. I have the opposite experience. But there is one complication. You will never actually hear me say that I am NOT happy. In the depths of the hardest times of the hardest times, I will be…
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A Surprising Revelation
I understand about New Year’s resolutions. Meaning, I get the appeal. I used to write really neatly every September and promise myself that this year…THIS year I would finally be the buttoned-up student I knew was hidden somewhere deep inside of me. But by October, without fail, I could only open...
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How To Hook 🎣 A Commitment-Phobe
Happy 2023! While I took a break from Substack, I did not take a break from living and learning. If you follow me on IG, you know what I’ve been up to. If you don’t, please do 😇, and I’ll include some videos here today to get you up to speed. The Cliff Notes: Remember High School Guy? Yeah....
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Prepare for F-Words
As we creep toward the holidays, I want to talk about what makes life and relationships hard. Here’s what has been hard for me in case you can relate: 1-I’m going through a divorce with some not-easy-to-digest details. But unlike a friendship that isn’t working, you can’t walk away altogether…
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2 Steps To Feeling Peaceful
I believe in naps. In fact, last week I was fifteen minutes late for a podcast taping with the brilliant woman photographed above (check out her new Substack), Isabella Di Stefano, because I was…yes, napping. I needed it! 🤷🏻♀️ That sounds like something only a lady of leisure can say, but in...
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I've Been Lying to Myself
Lying is often a dance. One person can’t handle a truth and enables another who can’t handle rejection. Growing up, I always gave the “right” answer to the grownups. I was so concerned with getting in trouble (#mymomhitme) that it didn’t matter what the real answer was, I learned how to say the...
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My Grief Is Very Impolite
Welcome to the underside of joy. I took this picture April 8, 2020. I was still living with my husband, but he was no longer the person I’d known and loved for 26 years. He spoke to me like a stranger. I had spent hours alone sobbing over loss of my best friend. When I finally went to my bathroom...
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An Iranian Girl with a Jewish Name
I often make light of growing up as an Iranian immigrant in America during the hostage crisis. I’m from a very Red State part of a Blue State, if that makes sense. But I had no color-coded context for it as a kid. All I knew back then was that it was kind of uncomfortable being anything other…
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An Overdue Confession
At the end of summer, I was so gung-ho on this idea: I’m giving up boys for 3 months! Renunciation, like my beloved Buddha! (Or my Catholic friends from college who would give up soda or chocolate for lent!) You know this feeling, right? Maybe you’ve given up carbs, sugar, coffee… It seems so...
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Why I Love Being Single
I’ve been really crunching on something over the past few days. On a short break from my last boyfriend, I started dating another guy from high school (I know - I know…but it’s me and you love me just the way I am, right???) and I was really struck by the response I got from several women I knew...
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My TEDx Talk Is Out
Most of you know I gave a TEDx talk on April 30. I hope you’ll watch it (above)! What you may not know is what the talk meant to me. I left my career to work on my marriage (and in turn, myself) and saw that partnership through to it’s natural end after almost 26 years. In some ways, it’s been...
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Why I Try to "Fix" My Lovers
Most people enter a relationship hoping it’ll last forever. And then…there’s me. It’s not that I’m hoping for a breakup. It’s just that…well…my work (and my passion, honestly) is to learn about life, and you don’t learn too much about life when you’re just holding hands and going out for brunch....
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Anatomy of a Breakup
Giiiirrrrrlllll, Let’s dissect my latest breakup like a frog in 7th grade, shall we? I know I might sound as cold as the aforementioned frog, but believe me, a few days ago, I was gutted. Absolutely gutted. But not gutted in a why-me kind of way. You know, that’s not my style. But rather in an...
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How I Slowed Down Summer
Hey, Ferris Bueller said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” We all know what he meant…and perhaps it’s never been more true, right? Everyone I talk lately has been lamenting, “Where did summer go??” Raise your hand if you know someone...
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Facing My Worst Fear
Hey, Sometimes our fears are ones we aren’t even aware of, right? So I Wordle with a guy I know at 9:45 every morning. We aren’t physically together, but we do it simultaneously and then compare our journeys. (Side note: You can learn a lot about someone by their Wordle choices! I highly…
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Let's Get It Started
Hey, I just got home from the Pride parade in Manhattan. 🏳️🌈 I have to say, it’s hard not to feel joyful and connected after a gathering like that. To me, it felt like soul medicine…good timing after the Supreme Court decision this week. As I read, like you, various responses on social media,...
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I'm Looking For Trouble
Hey, One of my favorite things to do when I was an Editor was getting in trouble. I mean, I must have loved it on some level, right? Because I never tried to avoid it. But in all honesty, I never set out to get in trouble, I just got really into whatever I was doing and often ruffled some…
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I Got Pushed Way Out Of My Comfort Zone
Hey, Something happened at my TEDx Asbury Park talk a few weeks ago. Before the actual event, we did a quick run through of the whole program and I learned that the whole cast (all the speakers) would go back on stage at the end and sing a musical number about Joy with a group of performers. The...
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My Secret Abortion
Hey, On this Mother’s Day, I want to talk about a child I chose not to have. I was pregnant in the picture above. I was married. My lover, too, was married and had a family. I terminated this pregnancy. I was filled with shame. I was ashamed in front of my gynecologist, so I just sped through the...
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My Tales Of A Corporate Call Girl
Hey, One of my favorite dances seems to be back: The tango cosmetics companies do with magazine Beauty Directors. Maybe due to Covid restrictions opening up, maybe money is flowing again for cosmetics companies, I honestly have no idea because I’m not a magazine insider anymore, but I’m taking in...
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How I Avoid Burn Out
Hey, A lot of people have been asking me about ambition lately. I totally understand why. In the aughts, I was the poster girl for ambition, right? On the surface this young, overachieving Editor-in-Chief. Killing it at work and seemingly living the high life with the requisite house in the...
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The Best Sex Of My Life
Hey, We never talk about sex. I mean, sure, we’ve danced around it. But usually, it’s through the lens of trauma or with a least a little regret – like all the errors of judgement I made when I was younger. But today, let’s talk about…gasp…pleasure. 🤫 It took me a long time to feel comfortable...
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Holy sh*t...I totally forgot!
Hey, You may have read the Q&A Yasmin Gagnè did with me in The Cut this past week. I made a funny reel about how when Yaz first walked into my apartment, minutes after greeting her, I dropped a huge glass bottle full of water and it shattered all over the place. It was an awkward…
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How I Fight With Boyfriends
Hey, I’m in the process of renovating my fighting-with-boyfriend style. To be honest, it’s a gut renovation right down to the studs. And it’s kind of going amazing, so today I want to flex. I’m starting from such a low place that honestly, being normal is a flex for me, but hell, I can’t be the...
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Why I Hide Under The Bed
Hey, Today, I keep trying to write about anything but this. I have so many good stories from the past! And this is so fresh…it feels so vulnerable. But alas there’s only one thing bubbling up, demanding to be exposed and explored. And so I begin… I started seeing a new guy (let’s call him Sweet...
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Gimme My F-ing Pacifier!
Hey! I missed you…missed this. Sitting in my yellow office in my yellow Womb chair writing to you, my beloved reader and sister. But I really needed to take January off. I often say my life’s work is my life’s work. Meaning what I feel compelled to write and create is what I’m actually learning…
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F*@k New Year's Resolutions! AUDIO
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit atoosa.substack.com
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Thank You For Breaking My Heart - AUDIO
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit atoosa.substack.com
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We've Gotta F*#cking Fix The Media Biz AUDIO
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit atoosa.substack.com
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What Gaining 60 Pounds Taught Me AUDIO
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit atoosa.substack.com
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When I First Left My Husband - AUDIO
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit atoosa.substack.com
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The Moment I Stopped Being A Victim AUDIO
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit atoosa.substack.com
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My Secret Weapon for Success
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit atoosa.substack.com
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My Most Cringey Mistake - AUDIO
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit atoosa.substack.com
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This Week's Dance With Infidelity - AUDIO
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit atoosa.substack.com
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Someone I F**king Hate AUDIO
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit atoosa.substack.com
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My First, Most Painful Breakup AUDIO
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit atoosa.substack.com
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How To Love Dating AUDIO
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit atoosa.substack.com
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Atoosa Unedited have?
Atoosa Unedited currently has 61 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Atoosa Unedited about?
When your life gets bat sh*t crazy, I can help. The podcast of the Atoosa Unedited newsletters! atoosa.substack.com
How often does Atoosa Unedited release new episodes?
Atoosa Unedited has 61 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
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You can listen to Atoosa Unedited on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Atoosa Unedited?
Atoosa Unedited is created and hosted by with Atoosa Rubenstein.
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