PODCAST · society
B4U Swipe
by B4U Swipe
We are two middle-aged sex nerds reading between the pickup lines and exploring new relationship structures (Relationship Anarchy!). Enjoy our snarky and sincere tips and traps (and a little adult sex ed) as we reflect on different ways to "do relationships." Check out Seasons 1-4 to hear us review dating profiles and online dating strategies.
Episodes
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S6 Ep 10: Practice RA Your Way!
In the last episode of season 6 on B4USwipe, Dr. Lauren and Dr. Kris talk about letting go of perfection when practicing relationship anarchy. Episode Highlights include: our annoyance with the expression “just friends;” bears, butterflies, oh my - meadows as a metaphor; government as invasive...
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S6 Ep 9: What’s Your Relationship Status?
In this episode of B4USwipe, Dr. Lauren and Dr. Kris talk about who and how they share their relationship structure with others. In our conversation, we revisit many Relationship Anarchy principles including core relationship values, customizing commitments and practices, and love is abundant…
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S6 Ep 8: Relationship Anarchy and Asexuality
In this episode of B4USwipe, Dr. Lauren and Dr. Kris talk about the connection between Relationship Anarchy and asexuality (experiencing little to no sexual attraction) and/or aromanticism (experiencing little to no romantic attraction). We bust some stigma while advocating for more freedom to…
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S6 Ep 7. Compromise: Big C and little c
In this episode of B4USwipe, Dr. Lauren and Dr. Kris explore what compromise looks like in relationship anarchy, and how “anarchy” and “compromise” are more aligned than it may first appear. Episode highlights include: ”Real” anarchy vs CHiPs, a brief reflection on the Punk scene, the proverbial...
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S6 Ep 6. Transforming our culture of loneliness
In this episode of B4USwipe, Dr. Lauren and Dr. Kris explore the loneliness epidemic and consider how ditching the escalator and embracing relationship anarchy might help us feel more connected. Episode highlights include: Sweeping reflection on recent research on loneliness, societal structures,...
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S6 Ep 5. You, too, may be practicing Relationship Anarchy
In this episode of B4USwipe, Dr. Lauren and Dr. Kris explore the relationship escalator rules and ways we may already be breaking them as we unknowingly embrace some relationship anarchy principles. Episode highlights include a Relationship Escalator tutorial, cuddle puddles, “parenting is hard,”...
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S6 Ep 4. Challenging Cheating
In this episode of B4USwipe, Dr. Lauren and Dr. Kris explore infidelity and how that concept takes on a different light when exploring it through Relationship Anarchy. We talk about our past experiences with “cheating” and current practices in our new emotional connections. Episode highlights...
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S6 Ep 3. Communication Complications
In this episode of B4USwipe, Dr. Lauren and Dr. Kris talk about talking! In other words, we focus on several real world examples, including our own, of navigating communication in relationship anarchy. Episode highlights include: Feeling seen, dating non-relationship anarchists, coping with...
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S6 Ep 2. Relationship Transitions
In this episode of B4USwipe, Dr. Lauren and Dr. Kris talk about the process of shifting relationships from romantic and sexual to platonic and back again. Episode highlights include: breaking up vs changing dynamics, bobbing seals and whiskey, (re)negotiating time together, Kitchen Table…
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S6 Ep 1. Deep Friendship
In the first episode of Season 6 of B4USwipe, Dr. Lauren and Dr. Kris build on Season 5’s overanalysis of Relationship Anarchy by talking about deep friendships. They start with their own decade plus long friendship and consider other relationships as well. Episode highlights include: How Dr.…
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S5 Ep 10. Build for the lovely unexpected
In this episode of B4U Swipe, Dr Lauren and Dr. Kris discuss the last of the nine principles of relationship anarchy. Principle 9: “Build for the Lovely Unexpected.” Episode highlights include: contented sighs, life giving relationships, what happens when you hit the top of the relationship...
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S5 Ep 9. Trust is better
In this episode of B4U Swipe, Dr Lauren and Dr. Kris continue discussing the nine principles of relationship anarchy. Principle 8: “Trust is Better” Episode highlights include: Kris’s love of the word “penultimate” and Lauren’s dislike of the phrase “quickly forgiven,” PolySecure and attachment...
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S5 Ep 8. Customize your commitments
In this episode of B4U Swipe, Dr Lauren and Dr. Kris continue discussing the nine principles of relationship anarchy. Principle 7: “Customize your commitments.” Episode highlights include: Learning from COVID pods; singing, cooking, and writing as acts of intimacy; networks of care and support;...
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S5 Ep 7. Love and respect instead of entitlement
In this episode of B4U Swipe, Dr Lauren and Dr. Kris continue discussing the nine principles of relationship anarchy. Principle 6: "Love and respect instead of entitlement." Episode highlights include: controlling behavior, fuck coercive control and abuse dynamics; cookie cutters, molds, glowing...
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S5 Ep 6. Change through communication
In this episode of B4U Swipe, Dr Lauren and Dr. Kris continue discussing the nine principles of relationship anarchy. Principle 5: "Change through communication" Episode Highlights include: Negotiating a pizza order, how societal and internal scripts guide our behaviors, being proactive rather…
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S5 Ep 5. Don’t let fear lead you
In this episode of B4U Swipe, Dr Lauren and Dr. Kris continue discussing the nine principles of relationship anarchy. Principle 4: “Heterosexism is rampant and out there, but don’t let fear lead you” Episode Highlights include: The Relationship Escalator; challenging the concept of “failed”...
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S5 Ep 4. Imagine it and Practice (x 3)
In this episode of B4U Swipe, Dr Lauren and Dr. Kris continue discussing the nine principles of relationship anarchy. Principle 3: Imagine it and Practice, Practice, Practice (originally “Fake it til’ you make it”) Episode Highlights include: Our arguments against “faking it til you make it;” the...
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S5 Ep 3. Find your core set of relationship values
In this episode of B4U Swipe, Dr Lauren and Dr. Kris continue discussing the nine principles of relationship anarchy. Principle 2: “Find your core set of relationship values.” Episode Highlights include: Proposing a K-12 sex ed revolution; developing self-awareness of what matters inside and...
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S5 Ep 2. Love is abundant, and every relationship is unique
In this episode of B4U Swipe, Dr Lauren and Dr. Kris begin their adventure discussing each of the nine principles of relationship anarchy. Principle 1: “Love is abundant, and every relationship is unique.” Episode Highlights include: Cherishing friendships as sacred relationships, navigating love...
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S5 Ep 1. Welcome to Relationship Anarchy!
In this episode of B4U Swipe, Dr Lauren and Dr. Kris preview how they are going to change things up this season and talk about relationship anarchy! Episode highlights include: How we’re switching up the podcast and why, our annoyances with how relationships beyond monogamous partnerships are...
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Story Time! Passing Through
In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss using the app when people are just “passing through” a place as opposed to staying put. Lauren shares the story of a recent connection where they played Seattle tour guide, and Kris reflects on times she was navigating an unclear interloper…
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A Big Guy with Babes and a Family Man
In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a man who hangs out with a LOT of women at work and another man who is a little too proud of his kids. Kris’s profile highlights include: Impressive weightlifting skills, an actual camera, “tasty” friends, mad love, and a beautiful woman,...
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Married-Person Bias vs. Gold Standard ENM
In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss another article! This time we are annoyed with “dating expert” Jana Hocking’s opinion piece, picked up by The New York Post, about deceitful married men on dating apps. We counter the article's brazen assumptions and horrible bias against...
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Mr. Perfect Teeth and Reverse Catfishing
In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren try something new! We first review a profile, per usual, then we discuss a related article Lauren found online. The topic? Reverse Catfishing. Lauren’s profile highlights include: Beefy arms, the struggles of being too attractive on dating apps, a...
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Heavy Filters and a Man Who Can Sleep Anywhere
In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a profile Lauren came across while in Ireland, while Kris shares one of a young man who may have work-life balance issues. Lauren’s profile highlights include: Using filters in dating profiles, mismatched eyebrows, laughing during dark times,...
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Bourbon and a Buried Lead and a Tinder Art Installation
In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss an income-oriented “optimistic gentleman” and a queer pansexual with an intense gothy profile. Kris’s profile highlights include: The Oxford comma, Lauren’s hatred of car photos and those featuring visible earbuds, an empty hotel chair…
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Man Seeking Roommate and Cliched Over-sharer
In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a man who is seeking a roommate on Tinder (?!?) and a woman who … we have no idea what she’s seeking. Kris’s profile highlights include: Lake Ontario, vacuuming, questionable shirtlessness, brown socks, full-sized mirrors in living spaces…
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Disney Princess Eyes and A Celibate Communist
In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a woman with giant eyes (and not much else) and a young man who never smiles. Lauren’s profile highlights include: Large eyes, photo filters(?), another picture on the can, a pink gym, sex dolls, and that’s about it. Overall, this profile…
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A Woman with Many Hairstyles and A Man Who REALLY Likes Gardening
In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a woman who has more variety in her hairstyles than her wardrobe and a man who is proud of his garden, complete with waterfall. Lauren’s profile highlights include: Open fields, a challenging hike, car/bathroom/bedroom selfies, and lots of...
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App review: Bumble BFF
Welcome to Season 4! In this episode, Kris shares her experiences (and successes) with Bumble’s BFF (Best Friends Forever) feature. In this episode we discuss the difficulties making friends as we age and how important platonic relationships are. In the app, we noted options for describing your...
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Story Time! Self Analysis
In this Storytime that closes out Season 3, Kris and Lauren analyze each other’s profiles! Lauren chose their Tinder profile and Kris went with Hinge. Lauren’s profile highlights include: Many hairstyles, a non-beach beach, a not-Moroccan French restaurant, adrienne marie brown, and the challenge...
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A Shy Couple and a Gun-Loving Mom
In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a woman who invites you to join her and her boyfriend for playtime, and a self-aware woman who could probably kick anyone’s ass. Lauren’s profile highlights include: An absent boyfriend, tropical drinks, vacant stares, STI stigma, curious wig...
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A Cuddling Gladiator and a Safety Guy
In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss an Olympic-level Cuddler and a guy who doesn’t give a shit about his profile. At least we hope he doesn’t.. Kris’ profile highlights include: Some great legs, gratuitous lakes, and fantastic cuddling-focused consent practices. We also…
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A Conservative Canadian Chef and a Kinky Socialist Queer
In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a guy who buddies up with Conservative politicians and a queer femme who thinks All Cops are Bastards. Kris’ profile highlights include: A discussion of the Ford politicians in Ontario, delicious tacos, cheap beer, 1980s telephones, and an...
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A Boyfriend Watcher and a GGG Road-Tripping Couple
In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss two couple profiles with very different approaches to finding their third. Kris’ profile highlights include: Lauren’s affection for sunburst photos, too many close up selfies, questions of consent, and the role of a “bf.” Overall, this…
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An Unspecified Porcelain Object and a Work of Art Recorded
In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a man who likes tight shirts and everything else, and a femme-presenting queer who loves to dye her hair. Kris’ profile highlights include: Toque vs beanie, waiting room vs dressing room, an unspecified porcelain object, and too many…
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A Dead Inside Hornball and an Insincere Mouth Gaper
In Season 3, Episode 4 of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a DTF bi femme and a consistently surprised woman. Lauren’s profile highlights include: Open mouths, chest size, the male gaze (Kris and Lauren get a little academic here – bewarned!), signaling to queer folx, T-shirt logos, and the...
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An Active-Passive Guy and A Questionably Real Femme
In Season 3, Episode 3 of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a guy with an interesting definition of "active" and an attractive femme. Kris’ profile highlights include: Our annoyance around sunglasses in profile pics, different hat styles, extreme close-ups, passive lifestyles, and the benefits…
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A T4T “Filthy Cherub” and A Hula-hooping PhD Dropout
In Season 3, Episode 2 of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a trans person with specific desires and a woman who managed to capture both of our hearts. Kris’ profile highlights include: A T4T (trans for trans) “perv” in an inspirational porta-potty, pickles on parade and food as conversation...
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App review! Feeling Feeld
Welcome to Season 3! Following our Season 2 opener, Lauren explored another new app - this one a sex positive couple and singles focused app named Feeld. In this episode we discussed quality inclusive community norms, compared patterns in profile content, the value of consensually linked partner...
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Fancy Dudes! One decidedly not fun and another with questionably-sourced memes
In Season 2, Episode 10, Kris and Lauren discuss two men with their stereotypical, heteronormative gender role flags flying high. Kris’ profile highlights include: an arrogant, defensive dude who wants you to “be aware of your thinking before you speak” and offer him “soulful telepathy;” Venice...
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A Woman Who Dates Important People and Twinkly Lights Dude
In Season 2, Episode 9, Kris and Lauren discuss a woman who brags about dating royalty (whatever) and a dude who can’t show his face. Kris’ profile highlights include: Fabulous curly hair, beautiful scenery, alcohol-focused activities, trust issues, and the benefits of framing things in the...
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Swiping Regrets: Man who “<3’s Submissives” and A Man Who Would Drink Expired Milk Just to be with You
In Season 2, Episode 8, Kris and Lauren discuss Kris landing in Canada officially, the merits of poutine, and Glory Holes. Oh and there were profiles, too: a well-put together man who loves submissives and the funniest profile we’ve ever read. Lauren’s profile highlights include: phone dicking...
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In-person story time! What happens when you see a familiar face?
In Season 2, Episode 7, Kris and Lauren have an in-person story time on what comes up when you see someone you know on an app. Neighbors, friends you thought were married, people you have an intense connection with and aren’t sure what you want, students popping up, people you work with… oh my!...
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A Boring Landscape and a Belching Tourist
In Season 2 Episode 6, Kris and Lauren discuss a poor human who really doesn’t look like he wants to be online dating and a dude that we wish had more hesitancy. Lauren’s profile highlights include: The challenges of smiling, a dull-colored wardrobe, an equally dull picture of an alley, potential...
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Submitted Profiles! A Dandy Pool Boy and a Woman Who Has Nothing to Hide
In Season 2 Episode 5, episode, Kris and Lauren discuss some profiles shared by our listeners (aka our friends). Fascinatingly, these are the best and worst profiles we’ve reviewed so far. Lauren’s profile highlights include: College crushes, Kris’s knowledge of booze and glassware, naked body…
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Enter the 20-year-olds: A Literal Catfish and a Pug in a Sweater
In Season 2 Episode 4, Kris and Lauren discuss interest from people 20 years+ our juniors. It gets weird. Lauren’s profile highlights include: Teens!, pickup lines, snappy dressing, and sending affirmations. We respect the honesty in this profile, and it allows us to make an educated decision…
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A Man in a Greenhouse and a Lady on a Toilet
In Season 2 Episode 3, Kris and Lauren discuss a man who likes to bend over in a greenhouse and a woman who for some reason chose to take a selfie while sitting on the can. Kris’ profile highlights include: Keg-looking things, bicep appreciation, a stunning woman stealing his thunder, and...
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A Woman in a Time Capsule and Over-Promised Shirtlessness
In Season 2 Episode 2, Kris and Lauren discuss a woman in a time capsule and a dude that teases us with over-promised shirtlessness. Kris’ profile highlights include: Big hair, a soft focus, and a feeling of inauthenticity. Overall, the profile left us confused about what decade the single photo...
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App Review! Mixing it up with Kink-friendly HUD
Welcome back! In Season 2, Episode 1 of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss Lauren’s experience of trying a new app that seems SO PROMISING in the beginning and then goes downhill from there. In this episode, we discuss gender identity, survey consistency, and how much detail to share about…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
We are two middle-aged sex nerds reading between the pickup lines and exploring new relationship structures (Relationship Anarchy!). Enjoy our snarky and sincere tips and traps (and a little adult sex ed) as we reflect on different ways to "do relationships." Check out Seasons 1-4 to hear us review dating profiles and online dating strategies.
HOSTED BY
B4U Swipe
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does B4U Swipe have?
B4U Swipe currently has 65 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is B4U Swipe about?
We are two middle-aged sex nerds reading between the pickup lines and exploring new relationship structures (Relationship Anarchy!). Enjoy our snarky and sincere tips and traps (and a little adult sex ed) as we reflect on different ways to "do relationships." Check out Seasons 1-4 to hear us review...
How often does B4U Swipe release new episodes?
B4U Swipe has 65 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to B4U Swipe?
You can listen to B4U Swipe on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts B4U Swipe?
B4U Swipe is created and hosted by B4U Swipe.
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