Barely Historical

Hot take to start the show: every man who has ever lost his entire mind over a woman has blamed her for it. Two thousand years ago that energy started a civil war, ended with Julius Caesar getting stabbed 23 times on the Senate floor, and somehow left us remembering the smartest woman in the Mediterranean for her eyeliner and a snake.This week Amanda and JoLynne take on Cleopatra VII, the last Pharaoh of Egypt, fluent in nine languages, queen at 18, mother to Caesar's only biological son, and the most successfully slandered woman in human history. Spoiler: according to the actual ancient source, she wasn't even that hot. She just out-talked every Roman in the room and they could not handle it.In this episode:Fact or Follicle, a beauty quiz where we figure out which ancient Egyptian skincare routines were real and which Amanda made up in the shower (pubic wigs glued on with tree resin: tragically real)The Ptolemaic family tree, which is technically just a circleHow a 21-year-old got herself smuggled into Julius Caesar's bedroom rolled up in a rug, which is either the most badass entrance in history or the most theater kid behavior of all timeRed Flag or Roman Emperor, the dating game where Caligula keeps showing upMark Antony, the original man who moved too fast, abandoned his Roman wife, and started minting coins with his side piece on themOctavian, a sickly little accountant who invented the political smear campaign and somehow still has us repeating his lies in 2026Why the snake story is biologically insane and what probably actually killed her (girl had a poison garden energy)A real ancient cocktail called The Cleopatra, which involved dissolving a pearl in vinegar to flex on a man at dinnerAlso covered: lice horror stories, why Korean skincare is superior, Brendan Fraser appreciation, and the eternal question of whether sleeping in socks is a war crime.Follow us on TikTok, Instagram, and Patreon at @BarelyHistorical for bonus episodes and our worst takes. Share this one with the guy who calls his situationship his queen, the friend doing a six-month Cleopatra skincare routine with nothing to show for it, and anyone currently losing it over a man who is, objectively, mid.Let's ruin the past.

This week, we’re diving into the chaotic world of the De Clare sisters, one of medieval England’s most powerful families. What starts as inheritance drama quickly turns into royal favoritism, political manipulation, tangled family trees, suspiciously close relationships, and enough rumors to make an entire kingdom uncomfortable.We talk about King Edward II, Hugh Despenser, Piers Gaveston, medieval marriage politics, power struggles, inheritance battles, and why keeping land and influence inside the same elite circles created absolute chaos. Along the way, we also discuss bizarre medieval behavior, weird historical jobs, and why history’s family trees sometimes look more like family wreaths.If you like messy royals, medieval history, scandal, dark humor, and uncomfortable historical rumors, this episode is for you. CreditsHosts: JoLynne & AmandaProduced by Barely HistoricalContact: [email protected]’s ruin the past.

Patreon Bonus Episode. The year is 1978, and apparently the hottest relationship trend is mutual destruction.JoLynne and Amanda ruin history with the chaotic, toxic, and wildly overrated romance of SID VICIOUS and NANCY SPUNGEN. From the rise of punk in a collapsing England to the disaster that was the Sex Pistols’ U.S. tour, we follow two people who should have absolutely never been left unsupervised together.In this episode, we get into punk culture in 1970s England, why SID became famous despite barely being able to play bass, and how NANCY went from suburban Philadelphia to the center of the CBGB scene in New York. We talk heroin, hotel fights, bad decisions, worse men, and the murder at the Chelsea Hotel that turned their mess into legend.Spoiler: this was not a love story. It was codependency with better eyeliner.In this episode• How punk exploded out of economic collapse and pure spite• Why SID VICIOUS was more image than musician• NANCY SPUNGEN’s complicated life before New York• The Sex Pistols’ absolute trainwreck of a U.S. tour• Room 100 at the Chelsea Hotel and the murder that followed• Why history keeps trying to make terrible men romanticCreditsHosts: JoLynne & AmandaProduced by Barely HistoricalContact: [email protected]’s ruin the past.

1963 looks polished in the photos. Pastel dresses, church picnics, men in suits who definitely smell like cigarettes and bad coffee. Underneath, it is a year of civil rights marches, Cold War nerves, televised grief, and housewives being told a vacuum is the ultimate romantic gesture.In this episode of Barely Historical, Jo and Amanda walk through 1963 like a yearbook you are not sure you actually want to sign. We cover the March on Washington, JFK’s assassination and the national gut punch that followed, the space race energy at NASA, zip codes, lava lamps, tab soda, and why teens were about to turn music into a full personality. Along the way we drag vintage magazine ads, side eye “for the woman who has everything” appliances, and peek at the pressure building behind those picture perfect suburban lives.You will get: civil rights, Cold War tension, pop culture, politics, and a NASA engineer vs radio DJ “day in the life” that makes it painfully clear who is saving the world and who is just spinning vinyl and vibes. At the end we tease our Patreon deep dive on “Mother’s Little Helper” and why 50s and 60s housewives were not just “tired,” they were medicated.If you like your history accurate, opinionated, and slightly disrespectful to bad design and worse men, you are in the right place.Follow us wherever you ruin history.Instagram: @barelyhistoricalpodcast TikTok: @barelyhistoricalpodcast Patreon: patreon.com/barelyhistorical Contact: ⁠[email protected]⁠Credits Hosts: JoLynne and Amanda Produced by Barely Historical Theme music: Licensed track