Beat Motel Zine
by Andrew Culture
Welcome to Beat Motel Zine, the comedy-infused alt-music podcast! Born from a zine from the DIY scene, we blend laughs with punk, metal, and everything offbeat. Discover the weirder side of bands, from unintentionally funny stage antics to musical mishaps. Tune in for a profane, comedic journey through alternative tunes, where every episode is a laugh. Join us as we explore music's funniest fringes with a punk rock spirit!Can the alternative music scene and comedy mix? Of course they can; we'll prove it to you. Warning, episodes contain creative profanities in the vein of The Thick of It.
Episodes
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Leadbelly
In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew hands over the reins to Dr. Sam for a deep dive into the legendary, prison-escaping, 6-string wielding titan that is Huddie "Leadbelly" Ledbetter . We wade through the chaotic history of his iconic 1940 RCA Victor sessions for The Midnight Special and Other...
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How Mowtown made British Indie
Indie music didn't start in a damp Manchester rehearsal room with a bunch of miserable lads wearing oversized raincoats. It was pinched straight from Motown. In this episode, Andrew Culture and Dr Sam trace the line connecting Detroit's assembly lines, Peckham bedrooms, and sweaty…
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Pirates
So, what do you actually know about pirates ? Probably nothing, considering most of your historical knowledge comes from Johnny Depp, Disney rides, and an actor in the 1950s laying the West Country accent on way too thick . In this episode, Andrew Culture and Dr Sam derail the podcast train...
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The Small Faces - the most short-changed band in history
What do a 13-year-old Phil Collins, a violent music manager dangling people off balconies, and a psychedelic album packaged in a tobacco tin have in common? They are all part of the completely unhinged history of The Small Faces. In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew and Gimby (yes, he's back)…
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Egyptian influence on music
Did the ancient Egyptians have B major, or were they just really into papyrus condoms? This week, Andrew and his resident logic-botherer Sam attempt to dissect the musical history of ancient Egypt, mostly concluding that three thousand years of history can't quite be summed up by Bruce Dickinson…
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Echo and the Bunnymen: Blinding the Audience for Art
In a desperate bid to look like we know what we are talking about, we have overhauled the format. This week, Andrew drags a bewildered Dr. Sam through 1980s Liverpool to discuss why a three time Oscar winner spent his youth hiding in a camouflage suit. We are diving deep into: The Scouse Trinity:...
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Viking influence on music
Viking metal is a sad parody of music. Or at least, that's how Andrew starts this episode before Sam drags him through a hedge of historical facts. In a bold new format where one of us actually prepares and the other just reacts with increasing confusion, Dr. Sam (our resident academic-lite)…
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Foreign music
Show Notes Right, here we go. In this episode, Andrew and Dr. Sam tackle 'Foreign Music'—which is basically just a fancy way of saying 'songs where we don't understand the words'. We kick things off with an enormous tube of lube and some fizzy water that's apparently trying to destroy Andrew's...
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Interwar music (world war one and two)
Look, we tried to have a sophisticated chat about interwar music (the stuff between the two big global scraps) but obviously, it devolved into a conversation about penis tattoos and whether or not Reddit is a valid academic source. Dr. Sam brings the "knowledge" (mostly from books he is actually...
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Beat Motel Episode 161 Ego-death indulgent Spectacular Special
This is it. The big one. Episode 161. A milestone nobody asked for and even fewer likely wanted. It's the "Ego-death indulgent Spectacular Special," which is basically a fancy way of saying Andrew and Dr. Sam have finally disappeared up their own backsides to look at the wreckage of the last 160...
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Great Bass lines of our time with Tom Klute (a.k.a Tommy Stupid)
In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew is joined by Tom Klute, a man who has spent 25 years running the Commercial Suicide label and presumably even longer trying to figure out how to stop CDRs from rotting into useless plastic coasters. The pair embark on a quest to identify the 'Great Basslines…
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Normal lineup, weird noises
Look, we've all been there. You go to a gig at a university campus that looks like a concrete fever dream from A Clockwork Orange, you feel ancient because the students are all drinking a gallon of water from Stanley cups instead of proper ale, and then you have to question your own bowel…
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Influential albums that sold naff all copies
In this episode, Andrew and Dr Sam attempt to justify their existence as middle-aged men with a music podcast by discussing the "sheer fucking arrogance" of music journalism. Between reenacting being a hydroelectric dam and discussing the logistics of dressing up like a facade of the Pentagon…
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Autumn
In this episode, Andrew and Dr Sam tackle the high-brow topic of Autumn, which mostly involves Sam moaning about how grey Finland is and Andrew recounting the time he kicked a pile of dog muck while trying to be whimsical. We also dive deep into the world of Roy Orbison, specifically his secret...
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Great music, uncomfortable lyrics
In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew and Dr. Sam attempt to discuss "Great Songs with Questionable Lyrics" but mostly end up talking about accidental calls to the emergency services and the thermal advantages of having an itchy jumper for a face. We dive into the grottier side of grindcore with...
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Beefy Smells and Bad Riffs: The Water Episode
In what can only be described as a new low for the Beat Motel, Andrew and Dr. Sam dive headfirst into a theme so thin you can practically see through it: Water. What starts with Jackie Chan karate-chopping peanut packets somehow devolves into a harrowing discussion about men who refuse to wipe...
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Citric Dummies Drew Special (not quite an interview)
We've got Drew Ailes (aka David Lunch, aka Egg Norton) from Minneapolis punk outfit Citric Dummies. We spend a suspicious amount of time talking about the horrors of SEO and marketing because, apparently, being a punk doesn't pay for the artisanal bread anymore. Drew explains how his background…
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Fast music for slow times
We're back, and frankly, if you've stuck around this long, you only have yourself to blame. After our first-ever break, Andrew and Dr. Sam return to discuss why cats don't actually like dope beats, despite what Aaliyah told us in 2000, and why fireworks and techno are a bad mix for pets. In this...
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Mike Watt on The Stooges, The Minutemen, and Why Bass is Actually a Drum
If you've ever wondered why some bassists look like they're having a conversation with a ghost or why your favorite punk record sounds like it was recorded in a cupboard, Mike Watt is here to explain it all. We sat down with the Minutemen and Stooges legend to talk about everything from the…
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Good musicians that pop up in interesting places
Welcome to a truly unhinged episode, where Andrew's cold-ridden brain meets Sam's particular brand of chaos. This week, we're diving into Musicians in Odd Places—which, let's be honest, is mostly an excuse for us to get wildly off-topic and fact-check things on the fly (and usually get them…
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Songs We Like That Were About Sport
Congratulations, we've actually made it to episode 150—time to lower the bar even further. Andrew and Dr Sam reluctantly delve into the world of sport, finding the few tracks they can tolerate that actually cover the theme. Before they get there, they waste a solid half hour arguing about: * The...
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Acts we used to hate, but now we love
Who says taste can't evolve? This week, Andrew and Dr Sam go on a full-blown U-turn, confessing their love for bands they once treated with the kind of disdain normally reserved for traffic wardens and warm lager. Expect shocking revelations: Bonnie Tyler's absurdly overproduced 80s epic is now...
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Jumpers for goalposts
In this week's episode of Beat Motel, Andrew and Dr Sam dig deep into the muddy puddle of nostalgia. We've got: Lycra-based band trauma John Barnes rapping about... something An important public health warning about Coco Pops Dead Kennedys covered in Parisian jazz cafés A little gig promotion...
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Bands we respect but don't get
Ever bought an album just because you should love it... only to file it under "respect, but no thanks"? This week, Andrew Culture and Dr. Sam go full chin-strokey and dive deep into the bands, albums, and entire genres that make them go, "I get it. I just don't want it." We're talking Flux of…
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Musicians in films that weren't about them
In this episode, we dive into the slightly baffling and often hilarious world of musicians turning up in films that have absolutely nothing to do with their own music. Some do it well. Some… should've just stayed on stage. From Joe Strummer's pigeon-themed songwriting to Damon Albarn's dodgy...
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Odd concept albums
What do stoner-era ZZ Top, a mountain named Billy with a tree girlfriend, and a kid who astral projects into Rasputin's beard all have in common? Concept albums, mate. And not just any old proggy b*llocks – this week we're diving into the oddest concept albums we could find (and a few we just...
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How to end side A
If you've ever flipped a vinyl and thought, "well that was a limp finish," then this episode is your new religion. Andrew and Dr. Sam dive into the fine art of ending Side A—the lost craft of crafting a sonic cliffhanger that makes you want to flip that record like your nan flips a Digestive into...
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Bands That Are Better as a Documentary Than to Listen To
Ever watched a music doc and thought, "Cor, this band's story is brilliant!" only to press play on their actual music and feel your soul quietly retreat into your ankles? This week, Andrew and co-host Dr. Sam put the needle on the record and realise some bands should've stayed in the cutting…
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Cats
This week on Beat Motel, Andrew relives his childhood by rolling down Ed Sheeran's hill into a pile of dog muck, and Dr. Sam reveals he's spent more time chasing cheese than dignity. Somewhere along the way, they accidentally remember this is supposed to be a music podcast. The theme? Cats.…
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Obscure Genres
If you've ever wondered what a Finnish man in a bedroom with a broken keyboard sounds like, then you're weird. But also in the right place. This week, Dr. Sam joins Andrew for a dive headfirst into the murky swamp of obscure music genres, where rules don't matter and the cats are in charge.…
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Back to School
In this nostalgia-drenched episode of Beat Motel, Andrew Culture and voiceover man extraordinaire Martin Whiskin hurl themselves headfirst into the deep, murky swimming pool of school memories—and promptly slip on a Verucca sock. Expect less of a structured discussion and more of a chaotic ramble...
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Songs to swing your pants to
Ever wondered what it's like to be whipped in the cobblers by a carbon fibre tent pole? No? Well, you're about to. In this episode, Andrew returns to the studio and brings along Dr. Sam for a high-brow chat about testicular trauma, Trev & Simon, and the absolute best music to make your hips...
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Summer Holidays
What is it about British summer holidays that brings out the absolute weirdest memories? Andrew Culture is joined by returning co-host and beard-stroking wordsmith Martin Whiskin for a full-tilt, memory-lane-meets-puke-stained-train episode about all things "Summer Holidays." We kick off with...
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Songs for long car journeys
Ever argued over who controls the aux cable on a long drive? In this episode of the Beat Motel Podcast, Andrew and Dr Sam dive into the tunes that keep them sane (or send them spiralling) on epic car journeys. From Queen's Greatest Hits to post-metal tantrums, and from Pete Seeger's calm...
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Hellsinki Metal Festival 2025 - Beer, bands and bonkers wrestling
In this special detour from our usual Beat Motel rambling, Andrew and Dr. Sam swap the studio for the chaos of Hellsinki Metal Festival (yes, with two Ls, because one L just isn't metal enough). We navigate Finnish beer, dodge suspicious wrestling moves, and try to work out why 8% lager is even...
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Scenes Like These – Bury St Edmunds Rehearsal Rooms Fundraiser Special
This episode of the Beat Motel Podcast drops you into the sweaty, glorious middle of a music fundraiser that brought Bury St Edmunds together in the loudest way possible. I hit the Hunter Club and the town's rehearsal rooms to catch a full day of DIY brilliance, chat with bands and scene-makers,...
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Crusty Jugglers and Flaming Skulls: A Guide to Iconic Album Covers
Is it possible to judge an album by its cover? Absolutely. Especially when it's got skeleton hands, raging suns, or Geiger's flesh nightmares on it. In this episode of the Beat Motel podcast, Andrew and recurring co-host Martin Whiskin dive deep into the album art that shaped our musical tastes,...
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Great band, terrible name
Episode 140: Great Bands, Awful Names (feat. Dr Sam) Brace yourselves for a melodic mess as Andrew and the returning legend Dr Sam dive into the world of bands that slap sonically but utterly fumble the name game. From the majestic chaos of Defeated Sanity (yes, really) to the ultra-bland...
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Peel Sessions – DIY Music Glory & Elderly Gentlemen from Mayhem - with Mick Derrick from Prolapse
John Peel. The man, the myth, the reason you accidentally got into Bulgarian throat singing that one time. This episode of Beat Motel is a loving, ramshackle dive into the chaotic universe of Peel Sessions. Andrew Culture is joined by Mick Derrick from Prolapse, who proves that the road from...
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Bands we'd get in a fight over, with Martin Whiskin
If you've never been ready to square up in a Spoons car park over your favourite band, are you even a real music fan? In this unreasonably passionate episode, Andrew is joined by the charmingly volatile Martin Whiskin as they dive fists-first into the bands they'd get into an actual fight over....
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Bands We Wish We Were In (For Beer, Glory & Ridiculous Haircuts)
Ever looked at a band and thought, "Yeah, I'd ruin that with my presence"? Well, so have we. This week on Beat Motel, Andrew is joined once again by the mighty Oli as they dive headfirst into the chaotic world of bands they wish they'd been in. From the sleek, suited swagger of Interpol to the...
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Kin Heavy Tunes
In this ear-bleeding episode of Beat Motel, Andrew is joined once again by Dan Callis for a deep dive into the heavy, the noisy, and the downright daft corners of modern metal and punk. If you're here for thoughtful analysis, jog on. This is a celebration of volume, riffs, and the bands that make...
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Making sweet sweet music with the person you make sweet sweet love with
This week on Beat Motel, Andrew is joined by the ever-eloquent Dr. Sam to unpack the joys, horrors, and outright weirdness of musicians who make sweet music and even sweeter love together. Things get rolling with a heated debate about whether soup is a drink, a meal, or just a gateway to genital...
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Colours
Who knew an episode about colours could spiral into tales of crusty white-boy dreadlocks, the audio texture of brown, and Robbie bloody Williams dragging Tony Iommi into the Britpop bin fire? This week, Andrew and Dr Sam dive into the murky, vibrant, and occasionally neon world of music and its...
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Forbidden Music
What happens when you love music but live with people who have ears? This week, Andrew and Dr. Sam dive headfirst into the steaming skip bin of Forbidden Music—those tracks that are so loathed, so divisive, or just so downright baffling that they've been banned in their own homes. From the…
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Albums That Feel Like Coming Home (and Other Toilet Mishaps)
This week Andrew is joined by the ever-lovely Dr. Sam to discuss albums that feel like coming home. Naturally, they barely stick to the topic. Expect bowel-related rants, coffee-fuelled enema chat, and Dr. Sam outing himself as the world's most dangerous urinal misuser. They dive into the albums...
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Band or Business? The Ugly Truth
Hold on to your ethically-sourced coffee and buckle in for a truly chaotic dive into the shallow end of music industry sellouts. This week, Andrew is joined by the ever-cynical Dr Sam, and the pair bravely attempt to answer the big questions: Can Slayer officially sod off? Is ABBA secretly prog...
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Sunglasses, Squirrels & Skepta: A Musical Meltdown
This week, Andrew Culture is joined by Dr. San to answer the all-important question: what do Viz magazine, squirrel-based hip-hop folklore, and Captain Sensible have to do with sunglasses? A lot, apparently. From tales of tragically inebriated rodents to obscure country pastiches and mid-80s goth...
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Bands We Dismissed (Then Had to Eat Our Words About)
Ever slagged off a band only to later realise you were the idiot? Andrew and Dr Sam rip into their own bad takes this week as they revisit artists they once dismissed with sneering pride—only to sheepishly backpedal years later. Expect a gloriously messy mix of: Why Pharrell isn't just the…
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About this show
Welcome to Beat Motel Zine, the comedy-infused alt-music podcast! Born from a zine from the DIY scene, we blend laughs with punk, metal, and everything offbeat. Discover the weirder side of bands, from unintentionally funny stage antics to musical mishaps. Tune in for a profane, comedic journey through alternative tunes, where every episode is a laugh. Join us as we explore music's funniest fringes with a punk rock spirit!Can the alternative music scene and comedy mix? Of course they can; we'll prove it to you. Warning, episodes contain creative profanities in the vein of The Thick of It.
Hosted by
Andrew Culture
Categories