Beyond the Self

What would you do if you could only love?This week’s newsletter explores one of the most profound and difficult questions of the human experience — what does it actually mean to love without condition? Not “I will stay no matter what,” but something more precise: “My commitment to your dignity and well-being doesn’t disappear when you’re difficult.”I talk about what unconditional love costs us, why our modern world makes it so hard, and why I believe it’s still the most worthy pursuit. As a Christian, love is the core principle — it’s all what Jesus represents. And Roger Ebert put it beautifully: “We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances.”Unconditional love is a practice, not a destination. But the intention to love without condition changes you. And everyone you touch.

What tethers you to the earth when success tries to spin you off the planet?This week’s newsletter is about finding your grounding principle before life happens in a good way. Too many of us get carried away when things go right and don’t realize we’ve lost the plot until it’s too late.I share Lin-Manuel Miranda’s story—how Hamilton became a Broadway sensation overnight, and instead of getting swept up in the afterparties and the famous people calling him a genius, he went home to his wife and newborn. “My family really saved my ass,” he said. “Because I think that’s how you lose it.”Ryan Holiday echoes this: “It ties you down to reality. It tethers you to the earth. It keeps you from spinning off the planet.”For me, my grounding force is family. Find yours. Hold it close. Because the noise is coming—and you need something to anchor you before it arrives.

Man must struggle. Not for suffering’s sake, but because struggle adds meaning to life.This week’s newsletter explores Aristotle’s two types of happiness: Hedonia (pleasure) and Eudaimonia (meaning and purpose). I share the story of playwright Tennessee Williams, who worked menial jobs while writing in the margins—and when success removed all struggle, he felt empty and depressed. Without vital effort, he became “a sword cutting daisies.”Struggle is a feature, not a bug. It’s a teacher when examined, a destroyer when ignored, and a filter that reveals character under pressure. For young people especially, embracing struggle is the path to becoming the best version of yourself.But struggle must be for something. For your family. For your mission. For growth. Not just for struggle’s sake. Because when you optimize for comfort and eliminate all hardship, you don’t find peace—you find emptiness.Struggle for something that matters.

What would you create if you gave yourself permission to make something terrible?This week’s newsletter is about the liberation that comes from letting go of perfection. I share how producer Rick Rubin gave his artists permission to suck after big commercial success, freeing them from the pressure to recreate the past. Even Adele went through this after album 21—realizing she couldn’t and shouldn’t try to be who she was then.We all carry undue pressure. Some self-inflicted, others from family, society, or random people on the internet. But when you give yourself permission to suck, to evolve, to be authentically you—you free yourself. And you give others permission to do the same.I give you permission to suck. To be you for you. Not the you you think they’ll like. Just you.

“A formidable person is one who seems like they’ll get what they want, regardless of whatever obstacles are in the way.” — Paul GrahamThis week’s newsletter is about becoming that person. The kind of person who sees hardship as fuel, not a roadblock. The kind of person who understands that obstacles are the great equalizer, but what you do with them is the great decider.I talk about why hard things are actually a feature working in our advantage, and why being formidable isn’t selfish—it’s service. When you become formidable, you give permission to everyone around you to do the same.So let’s be formidable. Not because we’re special, but because we choose to be.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

What “impossibility” have you accepted that might just be someone else’s limited perspective?This week’s newsletter tells the story of Dr. Edith Eger, a Holocaust survivor whose son Johnny was born with cerebral palsy. The first doctor said Johnny wouldn’t make it to high school. But Eger sought a second opinion—and that changed everything. Johnny graduated from the University of Texas, top ten in his class.The mind can literally make or break the future we deem ours. Impossibilities are often just constructs trying to hold us back—stories we accept without question. This episode is about rejecting those limitations and pushing to the level of your potential.If you don’t like the first story you hear, seek out others.