Bitch Bible

Jackie is hunkered down against toxic smoke and gives an update on the backyard renovation, ridicules Andrew’s new recreational basketball league, and marvels at his lack of wedding music knowledge.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Jack Archer: Use code GETJACK to get 15% off your first order at www.JackArcher.comLeesa Mattresses: Get 30% off select mattresses, plus an extra $50 off with code BIBLE at www.Leesa.comOSEA: Get 10% off your first order site-wide with code JACKIE at www.OSEAMalibu.comLittleSpoon: Use code BIBLE to get 30% off your first online order at www.LittleSpoon.comRitual: Save 25% on your first month at www.Ritual.com/BIBLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie gets baptized after a demonic bowl of poke, discussed the highly anticipated sequel to "Frankly, Anne" and offers free public relation guidance to Rachel Hollis and Khloe Kardashian.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:SKIMS: Shop Everyday Cotton, and all of my favorite bras and underwear at www.skims.com/bible #skimspartnerNutrafol: Use code BIBLE to get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.comRevolve: Shop at www.Revolve.com/BITCH and use code BITCH for 15% off your first order. #REVOLVEpartnerLittle Spoon: Use code BIBLE for 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.comBIBLEQuince: Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns at www.Quince.com/BITCHBIBLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie’s back after two weeks of guests and ready to rip into pregnancy discomfort, Anna Faris’ media appearances, and Kathleen. Especially Kathleen.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Article: Thanks to Article for sponsoring this podcast! Article is offering my listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit www.article.com/discount/bible and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout.Boll & Branch: For a limited time, use code bitchbible to get 20% off sitewide at www.BollAndBranch.com/bitchbibleJones Road Beauty: Use code bitchbible at www.jonesroadbeauty.com to get a Free Gift with your first purchase! #JonesRoadBeauty #adPique: Get 10% off for life at www.Piquelife.com/bibleSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is joined by Haley Sacks, Mrs. Dow Jones herself, to discuss making good decisions with money, why at-home laser hair removal is more financially responsible than professional services, and why Birkin bags are a bullshit investment.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:The Absorption Company: Use code BITCHBIBLE at check out for up to 35% off your first order at www.AbsorbMore.comLeesa: Get 30% off mattresses, plus an extra $50 off with promo code BIBLE at www.Leesa.comRevolve: Shop at www.Revolve.com/BITCH and use code BITCH for 15% off your first order. #REVOLVEpartnerLittle Spoon: Use code BIBLE for 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLENutrafol: Use code BIBLE to get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie sits down with Jared Freid to discuss men worshiping at the altar of options, bridesmaid inflection, male influencers, and Jared’s new book Walking Red Flag. Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at www.Article.com/discount/bible. The discount will be automatically applied at checkout.ZBiotics: Use code BITCHBIBLE at checkout to get 15% off any first time orders of ZBiotics probiotics at www.Zbiotics.com/BITCHBIBLE Quince: Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns at www.Quince.com/BITCHBIBLEBetterHelp: Sign up and get 10% off at www.BetterHelp.com/BITCHBIBLESKIMS: Shop Everyday Cotton, and all of my favorite bras and underwear at www.skims.com/bible #skimspartnerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Andrew makes a rare appearance to attest to Jackie’s record-setting recent bitchiness, while she gives the world a warning, reveals her kink, and updates her views on Danielle from Summer House.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie leaves the country with a real bang by planning the Bitch Bible retreat at Alcatraz island, shares her most recent valley kabob experience, Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber TikTok trauma and why Anne Hathaway is a time traveler.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie has a fresh appreciation for Bitch Bible listeners and gives her new critics a mantra to repeat, shares some big personal news, and contemplates starting a Go Fund Me.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Boll & Branch: Use code bitchbible to get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping during the Memorial Day Sale at www.BollAndBrand.com/bitchbibleOSEA: Use code JACKIE to get 10% off your first order site wide at www.OSEAMalibu.comRitual: Save 25% on your first month at www.Ritual.com/BIBLERocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at www.RocketMoney.com/BIBLEZBiotics: Use code BITCHBIBLE to get 15% off at checkout at www.ZBiotics.com/BITCHBIBLEWayfair: Get prepped for patio season for way less at www.Wayfair.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is fresh off celebrating herself for Mother’s Day and rips overly sentimental holiday social media posts, continues her delayed review of Summer House, and discovers the traits she shares with Joe Jackson.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is back from a weekend of circus acts, self-care, and Miranda Priestly and recounts a surprising trip to a psychic, reviews the Devil Wears Prada 2, and plans an upcoming Mother’s Day argument with Andrew.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is getting over being possessed by a mysterious illness and gives her final thoughts about Alex Cooper and Alix Earle, describes how Clyde is a confident but grounded child with bullying in his blood, and expresses her fears for The Devil Wears Prada 2.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie sits down with Morgan Stewart to weigh in on the Alex Cooper/Alix Earle fallout, how they are going to manufacture their own feud, and what’s wrong with Lake Arrowhead.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a great episode, Jackie recaps how King Richard changed her life, the time she got kicked out of a youth sports league for breaking someone's nose, and warns Megan Fox about being Dutch-ovened.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is solo parenting AGAIN and praises women at the Masters, addresses future concerns about her health due to her soon to be protruding clavicles, and navigates the treacherous waters of the injustice of the patriarchy in the media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie has settled into spring and discusses proper parenting at wineries, gives a lukewarm review of Summer House, and tries to explain her alien frog infestation.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is fresh off a little reckless antiquing to discuss Gloria’s termite infestation, her philanthropic passion for serving alcohol in old folks homes, and her Dim the Lights revival performed for the local police department.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Behold Jackie, Destroyer of Content, discusses Taylor Frankie Paul’s implosion, Melissa Wood-Tepperberg’s self indulgent ADHD diagnosis, and current online trends that she hates.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie talks making babies, Real Housewives and consults Grandma Gloria for movie reviews.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is coming off a social media fast and recounts Gloria’s recent near death experience, reviews the Oscars fashion, and graces listeners with answers to their questions.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After reviewing past episodes Jackie realizes the show is as great as it has ever been, issues an apology, discusses her blunt but honest communication style, and extols the sleep benefits of a recreational, domestic argument.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is back from a grueling commercial shoot and talks about the toll of being social, the two approved methods of socialization for females, and a paranormal experience at the Sunset Tower Hotel.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is joined by Ashley and Rayna from Girls Gotta Eat to talk about micro-penises, their four and a half hairs, Jackie’s recent exorcism, and Pampas grass.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie discusses some aesthetic revisions she would like to make in 2022, discovers her husband's childhood attempts at poetry and goes over some celebrity TikTok conspiracy theories.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie makes a strong case for mother of the year with her Valentine’s Day dedication to Clyde and his grown up vocabulary, explains to Andrew what a landscape architect does, and pitches herself as a new friend to Rihanna and Adele.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie has been struck by divine inspiration for her backyard renovation and talks about her grand welcome to the stone yard, Clyde’s night in Abu Ghraib, and wiping away tears of laughter to be a Good Samaritan.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Merit Beauty: Get Merit's Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at www.MeritBeauty.comRevolve: Shop my edit, and take 15% off your first order with code BITCH at www.Revolve.com/BITCHPique: Get 10% off for life at www.Piquelife.com/bibleLittle Spoon: Use code BIBLE at checkout to get 30% off your first online order at www.littlespoon.com/BIBLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie continues to persevere through facial paralysis to bring you a recap of the Grammys and Clyde’s visit to urgent care, while also taking a moment to rip linear lantern light fixtures to shreds.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is back from the clinic with 110 units of youthful rejuvenation and fighting through facial paralysis to discuss Little Ricki’s baby, Taylor Swift’s text messages to Blake Lively, and makes a huge backyard announcement.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie desperately tries to eradicate her previously questionable behavior by giving the world a wholesome (not really), informative (kinda) and intellectual (hard no) update on pop culture, mental health and relationship advice!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie exposes her plastic surgery journey in the most embarrassing way possible, dissects the “2016” trend and reminisces and details her most recent altercations!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is sticking with her New Years resolution and sets the financial record straight, does a deep dive into Ashley Tisdale’s toxic mom group, and explains why you shouldn’t trust people with fake plants and accent walls.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is back and resolves to be bitchier than ever in 2026, laments the derth of proper entertainment, and recaps her first holiday off in years that includes power outages, flooding pools, rodents, spoiling caviar, and an incontinent child.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie greets 2019 with the same morally flexibility of years prior. She breaks down the post holiday blues, her friendship with Taylor Swift, the Golden Globes and why sending 160,000 text messages to a guy is totally normal!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie chats with good friend Heather McMahan to purge their souls pre-Holiday festivities and find eternal optimism in unlikely places.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie celebrates Chrismukkah early by spreading joy (not) on all things festive and annoying. From targeting innocent civilians, berating Bachelor contestants and expressing distaste for the holidays - just paint this bitch green and move her to Who-ville.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie gives an update on Rat Search 2025, gives Diddy the dressing down he deserves, and critiques Bethenny Frankel’s home decor.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is back stateside and recaps her trip to Paris with Heather McMahan, puts on the performance of a lifetime in an attempt to get a leather appointment at Hermès, and praises raccoon fur sweaters.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie has changed her Yelping ways and writes not one, but two powerful, glowing reviews for a local oyster bar, reviews Wicked for Good, and goes cold turkey on Diet Coke in preparation for Paris.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie counts down the days to her Paris trip, beams with pride at Clyde’s love of schadenfreude, and gives thanks for hoes in multiple area codes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie takes a well earned deep breath following the completion of the Dim the Lights tour, rails against the glorification of tinned fish, and advises against combining bodily fluid colors in an outfit.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie announces some exciting news (don't worry, she is not pregnant) drops some spicy marital advice and tackles religion (why?).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie recounts the inappropriate attire at the Sabrina Carpenter show in Nashville, plans a second heist at the Louvre, and extols the benefits of her impenetrable immune system.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is joined by Amanda McCants to discuss being late, Westlake mom’s, Amanda’s recent breakup, and everything on her hate list.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is back from her San Fransisco redemption show, and discusses the perfect soundtrack for a plane crash, takes family photos before Andrew loses his front teeth, and endures an annoyingly positive trip to Aritzia.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie’s back with new extensions and shoulder pads to discuss fostering a child at the park for 8 minutes, clarify that she is not a rat with a mic, and point out Hellen Keller’s real greatest accomplishment.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie recounts her recent social encounters, pays homage to her favorite celebrities and alienates 96% of her listeners.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie discusses her recent staycation and the benefits of sympathy upgrades, her thoughts on The Life of a Showgirl, and the heavy burden of being deeply funny.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is joined by the incredible Michelle Collins to discuss, fixing and being fixed in relationships, bringing back bullying and shame, and why the housewives need a villain.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Alone in the trenches of her home this week, Jackie discusses how some people need to be punched to get some grit, names the greatest trait in a house wife, and suppresses the urge to beat children at the park with her purse.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is feeling loose after a couple drinks, and plans a bathroom renovation, laments the clothes that got away, and previews Off Brand October.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is back from Australia, jet-lagged and bitchier than ever. She recounts her unlucky flying history, Real Housewives and why Bermuda shorts are for people who have never been to Bermuda.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.