Bits of Wisdom with Terry Weaver

If this Bit of Wisdom spoke to you, you might enjoy reading All My Best: Wisdom and Encouragement for a Better Life. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.” Herman MelvilleThere is a kind of passive failure no one really talks about. We hide it in a back room, where it collects dust, away from the world, so we can ignore it. This failure exists in many of us; it’s there because of fear. This passive failure I’m referring to comes from never trying. We have dreams, goals, and aspirations of writing that song, learning to dance, or going on a spiritual quest. We know these things are in us because they tap us on the shoulder now and then, but we ignore them. These back-room treasures are the very things our souls long for. So why do we ignore them? Because we fear failure, some illusory public humiliation. We fear our highest aspirations, and we fear our greatest selves. Because of these fears, we make decisions to stay safe. We convince ourselves that being ‘normal’ is better, and as long as we stay hidden in the crowd, we won’t be noticed. We won’t be subject to finger-pointing, rejection, or being labelled the black sheep of the family. We hand ourselves over to father society and ask him to help us look like everyone else. This idea of fitting in is conditioning. Groupthink. Herd mentality. And so long as you can keep your dreams at bay, there’s nothing wrong with it. But, if you’re a dreamer, like Amelia Earhart, Brad Pitt, Helen Keller, or Terry ‘Hulk’ Hogan, and like me, when you stuff those dreams in the back room, it does something to your soul. If you identify with this writing, and you're telling yourself, this Terry guy is writing to me, congratulations. There’s still time to pull that dream out of the closet, dust it off, and run with it. When you do this, you’ll find a fresh wind, one breathed into your sails fresh, anew each day.Yes, you will fail along the way, but once you begin pursuing your dream, your life will change. Day after day, you’ll see the desires of your heart materialize, and this becomes enough to keep you going. The pursuit of a dream is chock full of small failures and successes, but as long as you can keep your win column just higher than the losses, you’ll wake up one day to see you’ve brought something incredible to life.“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” Dr. Seuss This is how to do something original. This is how you pursue your heart’s desire. It starts with one decision today. No need to worry about tomorrow. When you get there, simply repeat your decision, and remember, it is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.” Earl NightingaleA great friend of mine often greets me with, “Happy Monday. It’s the best day of the week.” When we talk on Thursdays, his greeting is modified, “Happy Thursday. It’s the fourth best day of the week.”Over a decade ago, when we were just beginning our friendship, I was unsure how to respond to his unorthodox thinking, but over time, I adopted it. Years ago, I met with my senior pastor. I was on church staff at the time, leading our volunteer ministry. When I sat down with him, I said, “Pastor, there’s a mass exodus in all of the teams. We are losing a bunch of people.”“Stop right there,” he said. “Terry, you have to watch your words because you can speak things into existence.”I’ve had the good fortune of learning from these two wise men. They’ve taught me that attitude and words matter, and that much of life depends on the lens through which we view the world. If we choose to see Mondays or team dysfunction through a negative lens, we will continue to find bad outcomes. But if we decide to view problems or temporary setbacks as opportunities for growth, everything changes. We can literally change the scripts in our lives. “Your thoughts construct patterns like scaffolding in your mind. You are really etching chemical patterns. In most cases, people get stuck in those patterns just like grooves on a record and they never get out of them.” Steve JobsTo a large extent, we find what we are looking for in life. All one has to do is look to the news to discover carnage and devastation; it’s chock-full of the worst possible headlines available. If we pay enough attention to these narratives, at some point, they become the lenses through which we see the world. But if we change our perspective and look for the good in the world, we’ll begin to realize a totally different story. Your opinion of the world is in large part due to your subconscious retelling of the stories you consume. It’s one big movie reel of the information you’ve allowed to enter your mind. What does this mean for us? There’s a wise saying from King Solomon that has stayed relevant for nearly 3,000 years, and things that last this long have power, and they should be paid close attention to. King Solomon said, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”Solomon knew that our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us. This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one’s self; but the point is not only to get out — you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand.” Henry JamesWhat is true happiness? How many people have found it? What percentage of our population lives in true happiness? I have only glimpsed it and grabbed ahold of it for moments, maybe a few days at a time, but True Happiness is something I continually strive for. Henry James had it right in my opinion — to have true happiness — we must get out of ourselves first and then figure out how to stay out. One of the best-selling books of all-time, The Purpose Driven Life, begins with the line, “It’s not about you.”The reason we have functioning bodies, the ability to love, empathize, and give is because we were made for others. Isolation and self-absorption are dangerous; they are a recipe for self-destruction.The hardest criminals on the planet are placed in solitary confinement and kept from human contact for two reasons: they are a dangerous and because a lack of human contact is painful. To be in isolation is a very real form of torture because it keeps us from what we were made for, others. Giving ourselves to others is the first part of Henry James’ statement; the second is having an ‘absorbing errand.’ What is an absorbing errand? It’s simply a purpose, passion, or mission greater than ourselves. It’s a personal striving that enriches those around us. If we can find our purpose, our fulfillment takes care of itself — our true happiness is a byproduct of doing what makes us come alive. “True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one’s self; but the point is not only to get out — you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand.” Henry JamesTerry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s. Their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” Oscar WildeWhen struck with this statement, the question immediately came to mind, is this true of my life? To find out I inverted the statement:Most people are themselves. Their thoughts are uniquely their own. Their lives are original, their passions a reality.When I tested myself against these two opposites, I asked, which I’m closer to?This is a worthy exercise that can help us test the truth and authenticity in our lives. Are we being who we want to be? Are we who we were meant to be? Or, are we trying to become a version of acceptable or ideal? “Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us.” Which are you living? Whose thoughts are you thinking? Who are you mimicking? What unlived life are you avoiding? “Know thyself” is a philosophical maxim that was inscribed upon the Temple of Apollo in Greece in the 5th century BC. It was by thinking, questioning, and exploring that the Greeks invented drama, philosophy, democracy, and Western civilization to name a few significant contributions. Questioning and exploring ourselves is one of the most worthy pursuits of life. I hope these Bits of Wisdom help you along the journey of knowing yourself. Remember, Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s. Their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness.” AnonymousWhat’s caging you? What have you been born into that’s limiting you? When I first discovered this quote, it hit me hard because I was born into an ideology that still affects me today. The process of being born and raised in an ideology is often referred to as domestication. It’s important to understand that most of us are born and raised in some form of domestication. Governments, religion, education, clubs, cliques, and cults all carry belief systems their subjects are encouraged to adopt, sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad; these systems become laws we live by. They can limit us and even cage us. I recently took an acting class led by Christopher Tramantana, a professor at the NYU Tish School of Drama. Professor Tramantana teaches ‘clown’ among other forms of drama, but he is most interested in the ‘clown character.’ He shared why.The clown is the ultimate creator; the unlived self. The clown has no shame, which is why he’s free to create.His statement got me thinking about the boxes life tries to put us in and the way we willingly allow it, and even assist at times so that we can ‘fit in.’ When we begin to realize we’ve been domesticated, and on some level born in a cage, we can make adjustments to help free ourselves and begin exploring our unlived lives, begin trying new things, and gain our wings to fly. Remember, Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Nobody can save you but yourself and you’re worth saving. It’s a war not easily won but if anything is worth winning then this is it.” Charles BukowskiMillions of people are drowning today, millions died yesterday and last week, and hundreds of millions in past years. Why? Because they were at war with themselves and didn't know how to overcome the battle within. Bad luck, fate, karma, or something else has a way of barreling down on us at times. I recently met a man who suffered from a tree falling on his head. He was placed in a medically induced coma and underwent multiple surgeries to repair the damage; this took place over many months as he healed. I later found out it happened when he was bull-dozing trees. Was this man struck with misfortune or mistake? Who will ever know? The misfortune we feel we’ve suffered is often no more than a series of bad decisions: to take another drink, or risk, or massage our pride or self-righteousness. These poor choices build up and eventually life reacts, and the choices avalanche upon us. If we maintain a victim mentality, we will have a tendency to look at life as unfair or even chalk consequences up as bad luck, but the thinking person will see that life is an accumulation of choices that either pay off or bankrupt us. Of course, there is a middle ground, but this message is for the person suffering for seemingly no reason, unaware they are drowning themselves. There is a common maxim in acting that states, “Never play the victim. It’s the weakest choice.” The same is true for reality. Victims seem to have tragedy in their blood. The man who left us the opening quote knows about drowning. He was an alcoholic, an abuser, and an all-around bad human until he realized at some point that:“Nobody can save you but yourself and you’re worth saving. It’s a war not easily won but if anything is worth winning then this is it.”Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind.” SenecaThere’s great power locked up in this small statement. We should ask ourselves often, where are we headed? In what direction is our life pointed? What goal or dream or pursuit have we undertaken? If someone were to ask, ‘What’s your major aim this year,’ could you answer? If we cannot answer this simple question, we may be lost in our direction. A person without an aim to her life, is likely to end up adrift on a sea of distraction. We can get lost on a sea of distraction for years before we know what’s happened.The wonderful thing about having an aim for our life, is even if we miss our target, we are closer than when we started, and when we look back, we see progress and purposeful ambition; this is fulfilling in and of itself. Without a definite aim, it’s hard to see progress. Without an aim, our life begins to wander, and before we know it, we’ve wasted one of the finite resources we have. Time and tide wait for no man.One of the best ways to resolve this issue and find a definite aim, is to create one. You can develop a life mission, vision, and purpose statement, and these will give you something to point your life at. They can act as a compass when you become adrift.Having a vision statement in life gives us a guide to navigate the myriad of distractions and pitfalls that often take us away from our purpose and prevent us from living a life of significance. I’ll leave you with an example—my life vision statement. This small statement has helped me stay on track, especially when life has gotten tough and I felt discouraged. Inspire those I love and the world through my faith, creativity, and writing. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe, and a skill you can get better at. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.” Kevin KellyWhen was the last time you used your imagination? Did you know there’s power locked up in it? Power to invent, to bring ideas to life. Believe it or not, your imagination has the power to change the world, maybe not the entire world, but don’t count that out. It’s been done before by the likes of Jobs and Disney to name a few; your imagination certainly has the power to change your corner of the world, and maybe more.Has someone else’s imagination changed your world, even if it was temporary? Have you been engulfed in the fictitious world of Harry Potter or Lord of The Rings? Have you slipped into the world of The Avengers in the last few years, or maybe you’re a little more sophisticated and enjoy being transported to the mid-1900s while watching The Crown. The magical moment for me was when I watched E.T. the Extra Terrestrial for the first time. I was completely captivated by Steven Spielberg’s magical world for ninety minutes. Afterward, I had a desire to search for my own Extra Terrestrial. Before television, families and friends would gather around the radio in order to escape into a different world. Before radio, we relied on books and theatre to tantalize our imaginations. Leaving reality and escaping into someone else’s fictitious world is one of America’s greatest pastimes. This is the power of imagination; don’t discount it, and don’t forget that you have this power. I’ll leave you with something uttered by the inventor of the theory of relativity, a man who had a profound impact on all of us, someone regarded as a genius of the 20th century. Albert Einstein left us with this simple statement,“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” Remember, anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe, and a skill you can get better at. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being.” Carl JungIt’s the beauty and poignancy of well-constructed thoughts like Jung’s that have the power to inspire—to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness. It’s powerful ideas like this that inspired me to become a writer. Jung’s statement holds both simplicity and sophistication, which makes it poignant and pregnant with depth. Leonardo da Vinci’s statement, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication,” rings true. But what is the darkness of mere being? Without direction or purpose, we fall into stasis, a sort of directionless humdrum. It’s a painful state that many suffer from. Mere being is a given; it takes relatively no energy to maintain it, and therefore, it is a sort of purposeless existence. If we are merely being, we know it, and this knowing has the ability to drag us into a sort of depressed paralysis. But when we have meaning, everything changes. When we have a purpose, our entire outlook on life shifts. We see sparks of genius all around us. Meaning perpetuates an internal drive that ignites activity, a self-generating force that’s undeniable. Those with purpose feel it, and those around them see it. Those with meaning are motivated to continue whatever it is they are seeking. When we have meaning and purpose, the path appears before us; we are no longer lost; instead, we are spurred along the journey, a sort of self-fulfilling destiny.If you are in a state of mere being, study these words and make it your mission to find purpose. You’ll notice that even the searching will fuel you and inspire those around you. It will imbue you with life. As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being.Have you enjoyed this writing? Share it with someone who might benefit from it. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“The canvas is its own reward.” Steven PressfieldThis tiny quote comes from the book, The War of Art. It’s a book I’ve recommended and given away more than any other. I own the physical book but also have the audiobook, which I’ve listened to more than fifty times. Just last week a friend sent me this message.Terry, thank you so much for recommending The War of Art! I finished it yesterday … what a motivating book! My reply to him was…I’m so glad it spoke to you. It is pretty wild, I was listening to the audio version of the book today.I tell you all of this to say the book has had a profound impact on my life. It’s helped me write five books, a screenplay, and complete many other creative works. Here’s the point. If you have a desire to do something creative, the way you view that creative act is just as important, if not more important, than the actual creating. This truth extends to all acts of creativity.The canvas, as Steve says, is the reward. The act of doing can usher in the reward if we view it in the right context. If we change our focus to the creation, instead of the finished product, we can realize the immense benefits of being a creator. Prolific artists understand this.“Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what's inside you, to make your soul grow.” Kurt Vonnegut I hope this encouragement speaks to you, and helps you take one more step in your creative journey.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Your thoughts construct patterns like scaffolding in your mind. You are really etching chemical patterns. In most cases, people get stuck in those patterns just like grooves on a record and they never get out of them.” Steve JobsHerein lies the power and danger of our minds. When something significant happens in life, patterns are etched into our psyche. It could be meeting our first love or losing her. It could be a traumatic event or a celebration. And it can be something as small as someone we respect telling us we’ll never succeed. These types of significant events leave marks on us, and if we are not aware of their power, we might replay them in our minds until permanence sets in. Think back to your childhood, to a time someone you respected said something to you that’s stayed with you for more than a decade. This is the power of words; it’s how they can etch patterns into our minds. It’s important to realize we hold this same power. The things we say to others have the power to cut them down or build them up. We get to choose. But, what most fail to realize is we have the same ability to etch patterns into our minds. The power to face ourselves in a mirror and repeat something every day until we begin to believe it and then act accordingly. Jim Carey’s story is a powerful example. In 1985, he wrote himself a check for 10 million dollars. In the memo line he wrote ‘For Acting Services Rendered.’ He post-dated the check for 10 years later, hung on to it, and referenced it often. In 1994, he was cast in the hit movie Dumb and Dumber. Can you guess how much he was paid for that role? If you guessed 10 million, you’re correct. Our minds hold more power than we know. We can etch patterns into our thinking if we are proactive with this power. This can be a very positive thing. So remember, your thoughts construct patterns like scaffolding in your mind. You are really etching chemical patterns. In most cases, people get stuck in those patterns just like grooves on a record and they never get out of them.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” Mandy HaleThe pain of not belonging usually begins in the heart. It’s a signal to move that we ignore until misery begins to set in. When we ignore the signal, pain begins to manifest; it sometimes shows up as anger or frustration, and it often leads to an inevitable end. I remember the feeling of being stuck many times in my past. It began as a slow realization that I was in an environment I could no longer serve, and one that could no longer serve me. I could not fix this feeling, it was something in my gut or heart telling me it was time to go, and I waited too long, but eventually left. When this realization settles in, it is time to begin looking for what’s next because your happiness and future potential depend on your courage to go. Change is scary. Unknowns are pervasive and frightening, so it’s good to look back at survey all the times we have gone hungry or were without shelter. Most will realize, that the instances are few, or non-existent. This can give us the necessary courage to move and make a necessary change. It is also important to know that growth is impossible without change. One way to look at this change is by viewing our life as a story, with each phase being a chapter. We will never know exactly how the book ends, but we can decide to end one chapter and begin another when we feel the time is right. This is necessary for growth and it’s the only way to become a co-author of our destiny. So remember, growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“I had always believed that the world involved magic: now I thought that perhaps it involved a magician. I had always felt life first as a story: and if there is a story there is a story-teller.” G.K. ChestertonThere’s no wonder why Chesterton was nicknamed the Prince of Paradox. We don’t have to investigate much to conclude that the most complex things in this world have a creator, a designer, an author. Artificial Intelligence seems to be an oxymoron at first discovery until you understand that it’s the future, that people are dropping out of Ivy League schools to take part in AI start-ups. It’s the most revolutionary breakthrough of the 21st century, comparable to the internet revolution. And, it has a designer, millions of them, soon to be billions. We can look at any complex thing, a neural network, a transportation grid, or the latest rocket technology that now enables spaceships to re-enter Earth’s atmosphere and land safely upon return from the moon. These have designers. Recently, the film Oppenheimer showcased the breakthrough of the Quantum Theory of Molecules which enabled a team to design the Atom Bomb. A little less-known breakthrough by Biochemist Jennifer Doudna and microbiologist Emmanuelle Charpentier was the co-invention of the gene-editing system CRISPR, which allows the editing of DNA with unprecedented precision and efficiency.The evidence of a designer is all around us but it’s often thought to fall short when we look at ourselves in the mirror. Faith in a human creator seems to be risky despite the proof around us. It seems to be a paradox with just enough evidence to suggest it’s anything but absurd. Chesterton said it best in just a few short sentences. “I had always believed that the world involved magic: now I thought that perhaps it involved a magician. I had always felt life first as a story: and if there is a story there is a story-teller.”Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“If your world doesn’t allow you to dream, move to one where you can.” Billy IdolThis world does not want you to dream. I know that’s a pretty black-and-white statement, but it’s true. When we dream big, we compete with other people’s dreams, at least that’s the way most people see it. Most people have a scarcity mindset that goes as follows: If you are winning, I’m losing, so join my team and help me chase my dream. The scarcity mindset maintains that the world and all it has to offer makes up a pie with a limited number of slices, and when someone takes a slice, there is one less for them. This is why most people want you around as long as you are serving them and their ambitions. There are some benefits to this way of thinking. It creates monopolies and billionaires, but it also fosters a dog-eat-dog mentality. This mentality incentivizes everything and wants to consume more than it needs. It’s important to recognize this system of thinking for what it is so that you can determine if you’re in an environment where you can dream. If you find yourself in a place where you’re not being encouraged to dream or chase your dreams, you can leave. You can pick up and move to another world where people appreciate ambition and share a growth mindset. This type of mindset believes there is enough opportunity for everyone to have a dream and encourages others to chase their ambitions. It’s also the type of environment where good, generous people will enter your dream and help you, knowing that the world does return the good that’s put into it.The world returns to us what we are. Remember, if your world doesn’t allow you to dream, move to one where you can.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“It was while helping others to be free that I gained my own freedom.” Anais NinWhat causes one to be imprisoned in their own mind? What causes someone to wage war in their thoughts? Where does depression, isolation, and self-loathing come from? Why is anxiety consuming our people these days?These are hard questions to answer, but what I know is that too much self-focus can create these outcomes. There’s a cornerstone principle in recovery groups. Those in recovery are taught that it’s nearly impossible to stay sober without helping someone else with recovery. Service to others is paramount when trying to recover from self-abuse and any kind. But why is that?When we serve others, it’s hard to be consumed with ourselves. I believe this is the key to happiness, but don’t take this from me; instead, take it from those who have served greatly and left a mark on history. Here’s what they say.“A life not lived for others is not a life.” Mother Teresa“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know. The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” Albert Schweitzer“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, what are you doing for others.” Martin Luther King Jr.I believe those who are most free and most satisfied in life are those who’ve found a way to serve others greatly. If you are living in misery, find someone who needs your help, and the very act of serving them will begin to set you free. My hope is that through these words of encouragement, I’m able to serve you. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber today. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you.” Walt WhitmanHow do we keep our faces pointed toward the sunshine? A theme throughout human history has been that light is good and darkness is bad. We associate evil with the shadows, the ominous, the unseen. There is a generalized fear of the unknown, and what lies in the shadows is unclear. We associate goodness with light, and we’ve all heard the warning that the eyes are the window to the soul. Might Whitman have been suggesting we keep our eyes fixed on the good? If so, how do we do this?What we allow into our minds has to go somewhere, and what we focus on has great influence on the quality of our lives. The messages we hear, the songs we adore, the media we consume, when they enter our minds, they don’t just vanish, they go somewhere, and they affect us, and some of these inputs stay with us our entire lives. So the question becomes what are we allowing into our life and where is our focus? Are we seeking the good and fixing our eyes on it? Are we relishing the positive aspects of our life? One way to fix our eyes on the good is to remind ourselves of what’s good in our lives—through a gratitude journal or positive affirmations. We can be proactive about fixing our eyes on the good. Remember, Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“I cannot remember the books I’ve read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so they have made me.” Ralph Waldo EmersonWhen Emerson shared these words, there was no mass media, motion pictures, or Facebook. Then, only books, newspapers, and plays had a profound influence on culture. Today we are flooded with media competing for our attention. It’s everywhere we turn. It’s hard to realize how media shapes us until we think back to when we were kids in front of the television and reminisce about the shows we loved. These, consciously and subconsciously, helped form us. This is a powerful realization. It can serve as a warning to our youth and also help us understand the way we think. Everything we allow in our minds affects our personality, emotions, and thinking. Think back to your most recent dinner with friends, when people around the table almost robotically began quoting movie lines or excerpts from books. Media leaves an imprint on us. This is the same reason we share recommendations with others. Have you seen that movie? Have you read that book? Why do we do this? We passionately recommend the things that have deeply affected us, that have imprinted us. We’ve all heard we are what we eat. Equally true is—what we consume is, in some small way, consuming us—especially the media we allow into our lives. Emerson’s words remind us, it’s hard to remember the books we’ve read any more than the meals we’ve eaten; even so they have made us.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Being aware of a single shortcoming within yourself is far more useful than being aware of a thousand in someone else.” Dalai LamaThe only person in this world whom we can guarantee change in is ourself. Have you ever sat with a psychologist or seen one played in a movie? Then, maybe you’ve noticed their chief tool for therapy. It’s the question. Why is this? To unearth realizations about self. Human psychology is such that self-realization is the real catalyst to change, so a therapist who wants to help her patient, asks questions that may lead to realizations. When a person has become aware of a shortcoming within herself, she is far more likely to make a change. Conversely, if someone tells her she is wrong and needs to change, the human tendency to become defensive and retaliate kicks in. This is how we know one’s quality of life is, to a large extent, an inside job. This is also why looking for shortcomings in others is a waste of time. However; being open to knowing more about one’s own shortcomings can enable change and growth. This growth within can inspire change in others by way of our example. There’s a wise saying in recovery groups that goes like this, just focus on keeping your side of the street clean. The reason this one-liner is so handy to remember is because we can never force change in someone else. That’s their job.This is why, being aware of a single shortcoming within yourself is far more useful than being aware of a thousand in someone else. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

More than 2500 years ago, Heraclitus uttered the words, “Character is destiny.”When we make references to people we admire and trust, it’s because of what they have done. When we warn those we love to stay away from an individual, it’s because of their actions. We are known by what we do.He’s a teacher.She’s a photographer.My brother is a student.This is why, in part, I see the truth in Heraclitus’ statement. Action is character, and character is what defines us, not what we say, not how we feel, but by the way we interact with those around us. It’s how we’ll be known.We’ve all heard that talk is cheap. The proof is in the empty promises we hear escape the mouths of politicians. These days, there’s an entire industry built of talking heads who contradict and confuse.So how can we trust someone who seems to be made of words alone? The answer is, it’s impossible. We learn to trust one by watching their actions. This is what defines character, and character is everything. The old saying, our word is our bond, is only true if held up by action.The statement by Greek philosopher Aesop, “when all is said and done, more will be said than done,” is wise. He had it right in the 6th century BC.Equally true is that we can know more about a person by watching them, not by hearing or talking to them, but only by observing one’s actions can we truly know who they are. Character is action, and character defines a life. Character is destiny.Remember, every little action of the common day makes or unmakes character, and that therefore what one has done in the secret chamber of one’s heart has to some day cry aloud on the housetop. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous because religion seizes more strongly on the mind.” David Hume If everyone is right, then no one is right because everyone is different. This logic is easy to follow. Every religion I’ve encountered claims to be right. If we follow the same logic, does this too mean that every religion is wrong?That would be a great claim, but without a second thought, the claim that errors in religion are dangerous seems to be true knowing a few outliers in religious history. So with all religions claiming to be the way, how does one filter through the errors? By its nature, philosophy seems to be more suggestive. A way of thinking for a time. Tools that can be picked up, applied, and discarded when no longer needed. Philosophy tries to expose principles to aid in the life journey. It tends to operate in the gray, with fewer claims of absolute truth. Religious claims tend to be black or white, right or wrong, all or nothing. Herein lies the danger in Hume’s warning. When someone adopts religion wholesale, they are dangerously armed with an illusion, an ability to parse the righteous and reprobate and discard anything or anyone that doesn’t fit in their system of beliefs. The spare room once used for thinking is boarded up, and debate is traded for rules and commandments. This is the point of danger—when thinking is traded for tradition and pre-packaged thoughts. Still, a quick study of history shows that religion has helped shape and preserve societies through time, and many of the most respected atheists and researchers have concluded that, as a whole, religion is beneficial to societies. However, when individuals trade their thought for religion, the scales can tip, and the fringes of religion can become dangerous, even deadly. So remember, if everyone claims to be right, then no one is right because everyone is different, and generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous because religion seizes more strongly on the mind.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“The difficulty lies, not in the new ideas, but in escaping from the old ones, which ramify, for those brought up as most of us have been, into every corner of our minds.” John Maynard Keynes As we age, the new becomes harder. It’s not an easy matter to adopt a new mindset because of what our current mindset is built on. It’s a matter of deconstructing systems that have ingrained our thinking for decades. One of my favorite authors likes to say, we are only as young as the last time we changed our minds, and there’s something to this. Changing our minds gets more difficult as we age. The ability to think in the abstract or consider the radical becomes a rigorous exercise because we’ve been influenced and shaped by societal norms, religion, authority figures, and law. These explicit and presumed teachings become our dogma.It is good then, if you want to stay open to change—which is the only path to growth—to study alternative ways of thinking and behavior. If you vehemently disagree with someone, try learning the philosophy of your opponent. Sit and have a conversation with someone of another creed, religion, or political party. It’s easy to despise someone until you sit down and recognize the shared humanity in their eyes, and only then can we be open to an understanding that leads to compassion. As we age, we construct a world that is safe and known, a world that is black and white, an environment where we can easily distinguish threats. But the threats we are guarding against are usually nothing more than fears and preferences we’ve developed within our minds. To get to the new, something worthy of passion, a frontier of growth, we first have to figure out how to escape the old. George Bernard Shaw, one of only two men in history to be awarded both the Nobel Prize and an Oscar, may have said it best. Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“There is a story they tell of two dogs. Both at separate times walk into the same room. One comes out wagging its tail, while the other comes out growling. A woman watching this goes into the room to see what could possibly make one dog so happy and the other so mad. To her surprise, she finds a room filled with mirrors. The happy dog found a thousand happy dogs looking back at him, while the angry dog saw only angry dogs growling back at him. What you see in the world around you is a reflection of who you are.” This is a powerful truth. Every lasting, significant, and meaningful change begins with internal change. The way we view ourselves and the world is the foundation of how we will interact with it.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

If you can keep your head when all about you     Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,  If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,   But make allowance for their doubting too;  If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,   Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,   And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;     If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;  If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster   And treat those two impostors just the same;  If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken   Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,   And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:If you can make one heap of all your winnings   And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,And lose, and start again at your beginnings   And never breathe a word about your loss;If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew   To serve your turn long after they are gone,  And so hold on when there is nothing in you   Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,     Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,   If all men count with you, but none too much;If you can fill the unforgiving minute   With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,  Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,     And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!"IF" by Rudyard KiplingTerry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” SocratesI’m guilty of going too fast, of robbing myself and those around me of the attention they need and deserve.I’m guilty of looking at the days as check–off lists and thinking, if I can just get through many days filled with many things, I’ll achieve progress. I’ve treated people like tasks that crowd out my agenda. I’ve starved myself of the details of life, the nuance, the colors, and the simpleness. I’ve traded the present for daydreams of grandeur and wantonness.Who knows how many years I’ve lost. But that too is in the past, so I must let it go. The truth is, all I have is the now, so today I’ll change. Today I’ll slow and trade ten decades of displaced desire for the only time that truly exists, the present. I’ll notice the dust that swirls in the rays of the sun and how the mist falls just before a heavy rain. I’ll notice the splendor of the cardinal on my fence. I’ll listen to the words in each song and pay them their due. Enough with the shackles of appointments, notifications, and calendar slots. I’ll trade them for conversations, hugs, and human connection. I will give my time to people who matter most and care not about what’s next, but about what’s now. Beware of the barrenness of a busyness.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

"You don't need more time because you already have all the time that you will ever get; you need more focus." Kevin KellyThis tiny bit of wisdom holds massive power, so tuck it away and refer back to it often. We cannot change the amount of time we have. Chance or fate has already determined all we will get. But we do have the ability to change our focus, and our focus seems to have the power to manipulate time. When Gates and Buffet were asked what the single most important factor in their success was, they both answered, focus. This is one of the few reminders I keep pinned up near my desk. It helps me rid myself of the unending distractions life fires at me.So how can we focus? The world, and marketers, and talking heads will tell you that you need more information and things in your life, but they’re wrong. They want you to enroll in their 17-week program to help you (insert false claim here). In reality, our ability to focus lies not in adding a new process or program or guru, but in subtraction. Begin ridding yourself of things that rob your focus. Stop watching the news, delete X (or Twitter or whatever it is), and for God’s sake don’t be the last one to cancel cable. You can also begin to get rid of physical things that weigh you down: that extra car that’s rusting away in the driveway, the jacket your grandma bought you that you’ve never worn because it’s canary yellow, the book your friend wrote that you have no interest in reading. They are all distractions, and believe it or not, they take away, ever so slightly, from your ability to focus, like a small thread in your sweater you believe you can pull out but ends up unraveling a full sleeve, leaving you with a one-armed muscle shirt. We drag these mental dumbbells around and wonder why we can’t get things done. But if we eliminate them, we’ll realize more and more freedom. Our ability to focus surfaces when we remove the trash crowding it out. The key to time is focus, so remember, You don't need more time because you already have all the time that you will ever get; you need more focus.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“You forget what you want to remember and you remember what you want to forget.” Cormac McCarthyFiction is a metaphor for life. While reading McCarthy’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, The Road, I stumbled upon a bit of wisdom. I’ll set the stage for you. A father and son are traveling down a road that stretches across a post-apocalyptic America. The earth has been scorched, the population has run out of food, and the few who remain have turned into the walking dead who hunt, steal, and kill to survive. The father and son have made it halfway but have experienced horrific things, and the young boy has seen more than he should. At one point, he wanders into a presumed abandoned home to discover near-dead humans being held captive.His father finds him and they both escape but are nearly killed. Huddled around a campfire that evening the boy asks his father questions to try and make sense of what he’s seen. Their conversation begins with the father saying:“Just remember that the things you put into your head are there forever. You might want to think about that.”“You forget some things, don’t you?”“Yes. You forget what you want to remember and you remember what you want to forget.”I’d never heard this truth so concisely delivered in my four decades. What we allow ourselves to experience has the power to mark us forever. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

"Work to become, not to acquire." Kevin KellyI’ve noticed those who are truly fulfilled in life are working to become. They’re focused on an idea more than a title, or status, or some monetary goal. I’ve also noticed firsthand, almost universally, those who have worked to acquire wish they could reverse their fortunes and trade them for something else. That ‘something else’ is most often the relationships sacrificed to attain the fortunes. The wealthy have to elude those who are out to take the fortunes they’ve banked. The multi-millionaires I know would swap their treasures for just a little more time with the ones they loved. Those who have built up high walls and amassed collections of excess work to hide it because of some sort of fear, fear of it being found, or their collections being taken, or put on display, but why?Similarly, those who have chased fame and have garnered popularity must now disguise themselves when they go into public. But when we work to become, we aim at something more whole, the idea such as becoming an artist, or philanthropist, or teacher, or creator. When we aim to become instead of acquiring, we are focused on others, on what our life will ‘do’ instead of what it will consume. When we focus on becoming, we take our eyes off the prize and look to humanity as a whole; we gaze at what we can do to cause some degree of change in poverty, disease, suffering, beauty, love, joy, forgiveness, and truth. These are noble pursuits we won’t have to hide from or wish undone. This is why we should work to become. It’s a worthy pursuit because there is no amount of acquiring that will ever fill the void in our spirit that longs for meaning. Work to become, not to acquire.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

The adventure of a lifetime begins the day you decide to chase your dreams.Sometimes the hardest things to hear are the dreams calling us because they are often only whispers. They never shout. If we listen to our dreams they will infuse life with adventure and help us tell a grand story. If we ignore the whispers of our dreams, the same whispers become nagging regrets. To live out our dreams and achieve something great, we need a roadmap to point us toward success. It doesn't have to be a fully developed plan. We only need to see enough to be able to take the first step, and then the next. Each step forward is the only one that matters.Along the way, there will be detours and missteps. We will fall and we will fail, but we find small successes in getting back up. At the end of our course, we’ll look back at the story we’ve told, and even if we did not achieve the dreams that called us, we can still celebrate. The roadmap, step-by-step, becomes the journey, and the journey becomes the reward.If you're not a success, you have not overcome enough adversity. You may just need one more step or one more stand. The only failure in life is choosing to stay down when we’ve fallen, because if we fail to chase our dreams, they eventually end up chasing us, in a haunting regretful sort of way.Be a Dream Chaser.If you enjoyed this writing, you may like my book, All My Best - Wisdom and Encouragement for a Better Life, available on Amazon.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Life is attention, and what we are attending to determines to a great extent how we experience the world.” Patricia MadsonWhat we give our attention to grows. One life crisis has the power to overwhelm us by absorbing our full attention. On the other hand, a honed focus can transport us far away to a state of bliss. Think of the painter who is fully immersed in her craft, spending her waking hours on her masterpiece. She and her art become more alive with each brush stroke. Her work of art becomes more beautiful as her attention is harnessed to produce it. Today, the attentive person has become somewhat of an anomaly. Life is fractured and our attention is scattered hundreds of times per day. Too many inputs overwhelm us. We still have all the traditional inputs, but we’ve added technology—social media, email, text, podcasts, streaming networks, conversations with artificial intelligence, and more. Taken together, these ever-increasing inputs shatter our attention and cloud the way we experience the world.The things we attend to dictate the quality of our lives. I know people whose worldview comes from talking heads in the media. Why? Because it’s what they allow to absorb their attention. I’ve started shedding inputs from my life—the things that are taking too much of my attention—the things that are causing me to experience the world in a negative light. I’ve culled social media platforms, streaming channels, news outlets, and relationships from my life, so that I can attend to what matters most. Why is this so important? Because life is attention, and what we are attending to determines to a great extent how we experience the world. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Our fears are always more numerous than our dangers.” Seneca the YoungerI’ve been shot at, had to take cover because of incoming missiles, been jumped by thugs, and I’ve gotten into a fair share of fights. These were the times I’ve been in danger. If I count these and a few others, they’d be limited to less than a few dozen; however, if I tried to count the times I’ve experienced fear, they would be innumerable. It helps to understand the difference between our dangers and our fears. The fears we face are usually psychological constructs we’ve developed for some reason, and many of them are irrational. Knowing this, we can begin to recognize a fear for what it is—often a red flag—that can be noticed and dismissed. If we can find patterns in our fears, we can deal with them and sometimes rid ourselves of the irrational ones altogether. Start by listing the times you’ve been in danger on a sheet of paper, then list your fears next to them. We can take this a step further and list the things we’ve held ourselves back from due to our fears. We often fear failure, judgment, and embarrassment the most. Think back to some common recurring dreams, and we might notice many include public humiliation. Why is understanding the difference between fear and danger so important? Because we often allow fear, not danger, to keep us from our true potential. So remember, our fears are always more numerous than our dangers.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Where a man’s wound is, that is where his genius will be.” Robert BlyThis small utterance struck me when I first heard it because I love an overcomer story. That person who, against all odds, comes back and wins the championship, slays the dragon, or receives the crown. But what about the story of the perfect winner? No big challenge, just a gift of excellence that takes them to the win. This story is not interesting. It’s incomplete. Why? Because there is no mountain to climb. There’s no obstacle. It’s not real.Many people put on their masks of perfection before they venture into the public eye, but everyone knows it’s a fairy tale. We sometimes shy away from this person because we don’t trust them. Intuitively we know they’re fake. But when someone comes along and talks about their imperfections, challenges, and what they had to overcome, we pay attention. Why? Because everyone has been wounded. We’re not perfect. We’re all members of the tribe, the walking wounded. We know perfection doesn’t exist, so when we see someone parading around with their groomed poodle, flashing a Rolex, and sipping a fat-free, sugar-free latté, they don’t even pass the sniff test.On the other hand, when we see someone who’s struggling to get by, we want to help them. We can relate because we’ve been there. We all struggle, and some of us overcome. When we overcome, we can tell the whole story—of brokenness, temporary failure, and re-birth—and then we have a message that touches people. Why? Because everyone is wounded, and sometimes, where a man’s wound is, that is where his genius will be.I’ve been writing, recording, and sharing these bits of wisdom with the world for more than six months now. Have they made a positive impact on your life? If so, share them with someone else who might benefit from them. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“If you want to fly, you have to give up everything that weighs you down.” Toni MorrisonWhat weighs you down? Stop and think about this question for a moment. What did you go to sleep last night fretting? What did you wake up this morning mulling through your thoughts? Maybe the question is not what but who? Who is stealing your peace? Who’s voice is running through your mind causing you anxiety? Is it a talking head from the nightly news? Get rid of him. Is it your mother-in-law? Cut her loose. Or, is it your voice? If so, find a way to replace it.We carry around thoughts, voices, and debts—an accumulation of relationships, past regrets, and fears of the future—that subtract from our lives. This is what weighs us down; it’s the baggage we choose to carry. Why do we carry this? Usually, it’s because we care. Caring is a wonderful thing until it’s not, and knowing when to draw the line is the toughest part. At some point, we should consider breaking the chains, cutting the ties, and even removing a relationship or two, so that we can lay down those things that weigh us down.This is not cold or uncaring. It’s necessary. It’s an act of strength. We will never be able to grab onto what’s available if we are carrying around baggage that doesn’t belong to us.If you want to fly, you have to give up everything that weighs you down.I’ve been writing, recording, and sharing these bits of wisdom with the world for more than six months now. Have they made a positive impact on your life? If so, share them with someone else who might benefit from them. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” William Jennings BryanWe have a lot more control over our lives than this world leads us to believe. This is something I have to continue to remind myself of. The opposite is true of anything else. We’ve got a lot less control over anyone or anything other than ourselves.Our personal destiny is something we have great control over, IF, we take it. This destiny begins with our thoughts. Quoting The Apostle Paul, we should, ‘Take every thought captive.’The way to our destiny begins in our minds. Quoting James Allen via King Solomon, once called the wisest man on Earth, ‘As a man thinketh, so is he.’These seven words, as a man thinketh, so is he, hold the power of personal destiny in them. The power in our thoughts is limitless, so we must question, why we are limited. Which beliefs are we allowing to limit our destiny? What scripts are we running through our minds? When we identify our limiting beliefs, we can take them captive and re-write them. If we do this, we will alter the course of our destiny. This was true in Solomon’s day, 900 years before Christ. It was true in 1903 when James Allen wrote As a Man Thinketh, and it is still true today. So remember, destiny is not a matter of chance. It’s a matter of choice. It’s not something we wait for. It’s something we decide on and achieve.If these bits of wisdom have positively impacted you, share them with someone else. Join me in planting good seeds. Your friend and fellow traveler, Terry Weaver. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

"Don't be the best. Be the only." Kevin KellyHow can we be the only instead of the best? The answer is inside you and all over you because the answer is you. Each of us is born like no other, and oftentimes we go decades, sometimes a lifetime, missing our greatest strength—our uniqueness. When we finally accept we can be who we are, we realize an internal freedom that’s truly a gift. Then, and only then, can we focus on making ourselves a little better each day. This is the path to becoming truly remarkable. This is the path to becoming not the best but the only. So how do we begin the journey of becoming the only? First, we accept ourselves as we are today and believe we are worthy of investment. Then we take action by investing in ourselves to become a little better each day. Life is paradoxically an inside-out job. Our surroundings, relationships, and happiness will be a reflection of who we are. Life returns to us what we are. This is why focusing on what we are not is futile. To borrow from the Proverbs, it’s like grasping for the wind. The world and everyone around us will benefit from our uniqueness when we embrace it. You were created one-of-a-kind for a purpose. So remember, don’t be the best. Be the only. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” Dr. SeussOftentimes, people spend their entire lives trying to fit into a box they were never meant to be in. Culture shapes us whether we know it or not. Stories make up the fabric of culture. They are told so many times, they become ingrained, woven into our culture. Have you heard of the ‘Golden Rule’ the ‘Law of Attraction’ or the ‘Seven Deadly Sins.’ What we are told is right and wrong, our entertainment—music and media—the things we value, and the traditions we follow, are all forces in what knowingly or unkowingly shape us. Have you ever wondered how your favorite actor transforms into the character you adore? Actors script their minds and emotions around a particular story, over and over, until their performance exudes the character we see on screen.We ‘normal’ humans do the same thing, consciously and subconsciously, except the scripts we absorb are often provided to us by culture. We fit in with the norm. We become the average of what’s expected and selected. And then someone comes along, who is so unique, so unquestionably different, they stand out like a character from a Dr. Seuss book, and it’s nearly impossible not to be fascinated. The world worships the original. We are all born original.Why fit in when you were born to stand out? Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” Mary Anne RadmacherFearlessness, unstoppable, indefatigable, unwavering: what do they all have in common? They’re ideas. Not realities. Everyone falls, and absolutes rarely exist. Reality is more like getting to the end of the day, looking in the mirror, and realizing we’ve missed the mark, but our story does not end until we decide to quit. A large portion of humanity, entire religions, believe ‘life is suffering,’ but that’s only half the story. Life is suffering and often defeat, but it’s also learning, growing, persevering, and sometimes if we can hang on long enough, life brings us triumph. Suffering is only part of the equation of life. Soldiers, like scholars, and athletes must struggle and suffer through the gauntlet to reach achievement, and sometimes along the way, they suffer tragedy. Courage then, takes many forms. When we think of courage, we see the gladiator in the arena, sword raised in victory, or the runner bursting through the finish line, but what we don’t see are the countless failures it took to get there. If we could peer into a journey to success, we’d see numerous defeats, times when it seemed all is lost, followed by a reminder that it’s not over. So try and remember:Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books - especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day.”The man who left us this tightly wrapped gift of advice is John Wooden. He’s one of the most revered coaches in all of sports history and still the most winning coach in college basketball history. His life impacted millions of people. But how was he so successful? He knew how to build a strong foundation for success. There are stories of Coach Wooden beginning the season with a new team. The first thing he taught his young players was how to put on their socks properly. Why? Because he knew that to build something extraordinary, one should start with the foundation. The wisdom he shares here is a principal, it’s timeless, and it’s what made him great. It’s also what made those under his influence exceptional. There is no need for further elaboration on what he left us in this short paragraph. If you apply it to your life, it will be a gift to you and those around you. “Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books - especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day.”Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.” Henry David ThoreauDo you know what you want and are you moving toward it? This is the question of conscious endeavor. Put another way, a conscious endeavor is simply a decision followed by action. This may sound like an oversimplification, but it’s not. Many successful individuals when asked ‘How did you achieve your dreams,’ answer, ‘I made a decision then acted upon it.’It’s like the old saying: ‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.’ A similar answer comes from the best-selling novelist when asked how she wrote her masterpiece: ‘One word at a time.’Doing something extraordinary is like driving in the fog, we can only see the next 100 feet of road, but we trust there’s more, so we keep traveling. Conscious endeavor is knowing what we want and taking action to achieve the goal. There are no shortcuts or secrets, and the road may be long, but along your journey, let Thoreau’s words serve as a reminder, ‘I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.’Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“A man is a critic when he cannot be an artist, in the same way that a man becomes an informer when he cannot be a soldier.” Gustave FlaubertFor every artist, there are a thousand critics lining up to cast judgment, and for every warrior, there are ten thousand commentators.Since Da Vinci and the gladiators, it has always been this way. Why? Because it’s easy to be an onlooker, an armchair critic, who glances, casts judgment, and then moves on. Conversely, it takes courage to place yourself and work in front of the world and say, this is who I am.Here’s to the artists and warriors. Your blood, sweat, and tears will never go in vain. You’ll be remembered because after all is said and done, there will be much more said than done, and the doer of the deeds will be remembered.The artists and warriors are the ones who will change the world. So find your medium, and join the fight. Ignore the critics, especially the inner one, and remember, a man is a critic when he cannot be an artist, in the same way that a man becomes an informer when he cannot be a soldier.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears.” Glenn ClarkImagine how free we would be if we laid down envy, jealousy, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fear. Each of these is a self-imposed affliction that wounds us and those we come in contact with. When we carry them around, we poison ourselves, becoming a little sicker with every dose. It’s only when we rid ourselves of these afflictions that we can truly move through life with freedom and a healthy sense of self. When we turn them over, we can move toward becoming whole. To travel far and fast we should lay down our weighty burdens; only then can we carry life-giving virtues: sympathy, kindness, forgiveness, generosity, and courage. These virtues will lend us strength and freedom, and they will encourage those around us.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” George Bernard ShawHave you ever felt stuck? Have you ever looked at your situation and wondered why your job, relationship, or finances aren’t progressing? Doing the same things usually bears the same results. A farmer who plants corn can expect the same crop, year after year, until there’s a change in the seed. As life goes on, we tend to get stuck in our ways. Our beliefs solidify, our routines harden, and we experience a plateau, a state of little or no change after a time of activity or progress, and then we wonder why. We often fail to realize the world gives us what we are. The answer to stagnation in life is change. If we want to produce something other than a standard crop, we should plant a different seed. The best way to experience progress in life is to challenge our thinking; this can lead to a change in who we are. Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Superheroes and saints never make art. Only imperfect beings can make art because art begins in what is broken.” Kevin KellyHave you noticed that when you share about something that’s broken in your life, it removes barriers and helps others relate to you? What a liberating idea that our brokenness can be used to create something beautiful. Every life, and every story, at least the good ones, have brokenness in them. It’s the point in a movie or novel referred to as the all-is-lost moment. It’s when the main character questions if he or she can go on any further. The all-is-lost moment is a reflection of humanity; most people get to a similar point in life and wonder how they will go on. This is our place of brokenness; it’s often where our imperfections show up or when our missteps have led us down the wrong path, and sometimes it’s just a case of terrible luck colliding into our life. But, our Pont of Brokeness or all-is-lost moment has the potential to inspire our greatest works of art. We can use our imperfect lives to relate to others. Why? Because we all struggle. We’re all flawed, and perfection is illusory.We can use what’s broken in our lives to tell our greatest story, paint our great masterpiece, or write our song that goes on to become a melody to the masses. Don’t let the potential in your brokenness be passed over. Use it for inspiration. After all, do superheroes and saints really exist? If so, they’re not making art. Take comfort in knowing, only imperfect beings can make art because art begins in what’s broken.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.” Eleanor RooseveltHow many times have you stopped yourself from doing something because you were afraid of what someone might think?No matter what we do, say, or think, there will always be critics. Why? Because it’s easier to be a critic than to be a person of action, and for every person of action, there are a hundred critics waiting on the sideline to point out how they would have done something different. It’s easier to make a judgment than to take a stand. If we follow our hearts, we will be criticized, but that’s okay because we’ll also be able to look back on life and see a history of courage over fear. History notices the courageous, but the critics and the fearful are forgotten. When was the last time someone brought up ‘that critic from the 18th century?’ It doesn’t happen. Why? Because they don’t matter. The doers, the warriors, the people of action are the ones who are remembered, remembered for the heart behind their actions. What will you do today? Follow your heart—for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.” Ernest HemingwayThe most unique, creative, divine act one can perform is to become superior to the person she was yesterday. This in itself is an act of creation and beauty. Your essence, your very nature, was beautifully designed to be you and you alone. We often go wrong by looking to another, some external thing, and attaching our identity to it then desiring to be more alien to the one we were intended to become. When we do this, we are attempting to create something unnatural, something unintended; we are taking a shortcut that leads to a dead-end. The true path to growth is being a little better YOU today and removing that which is not, so the world can experience the wonder of your unique design. This is the goal. This is what we should chase. We are co-laborers with the Divine, intended to take everything we’ve been given and add that which is uniquely ours. If we continue this pattern day after day, we will experience a purification process and a wonderful renewal. “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.”If this Bit of Wisdom encouraged you, share it with someone else who might also benefit from it.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.” Earl NightingaleThere is something inside of you that’s knocking, calling, asking to be revealed to the world. It’s a dream that’s been in your heart for quite some time. How did it get there? Where did it come from? Who knows and none of that really matters. All that matters is you know it’s there, even if you’re the only person on the planet who knows it exists. What’s keeping it from materializing? All that stands between you and your dream is everything it will take to make it come alive and that voice inside you saying: you’ll never find the time, you’re not qualified, who are you to dream?The seed of a dream never goes away, it just gets buried deeper and deeper until one day we can no longer recognize it, or it’s so far away we become paralyzed by discouragement. Sadly, graveyards are filled with brilliant ideas never acted upon. It’s filled with ingenuity that could have changed the world. Don’t let your dream go there too. We are the obstacles standing in the way of our dreams. Remove the excuses. Unbury that dream; it was planted in your heart for a reason. Begin today. “Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”If this Bit of Wisdom encouraged you, share it with someone else who might also benefit from it.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“The frontier of actual meeting between what we call a self and what we call the world is the only place, actually, where things are real.” David Whyte All of our experiences and genetics and training and desires explode onto the frontier of today, the present, the only reality there is. The words from poet David Whyte remind us that the now, an ongoing meeting between the self and the world, is that which matters most. Without the present, life would not exist, but many people try to escape the gift that is the here and now. They dwell in the past or future, trading in the only time we can act upon. Everything you have strived for and endured through is useful, but it can only be turned into something meaningful today. Why? Because the present is the only time we truly have. Today is the exit from our past and the doorway to our future. We should also understand the present is ruthless. It often slips away leaving regret and faint memories as the only evidence it existed. However, the promise of the present is that it gives to us proportionally based on our intentional focus and action. So, what will you do with the gift of today? “The frontier of actual meeting between what we call a self and what we call the world is the only place, actually, where things are real.”If this Bit of Wisdom encouraged you, share it with someone else who might also benefit from it.Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“Our existence is a constant flow of the impossible, the implausible, the coincidental. And what we see on television and in films must always be diluted to make it believable. We are trained to live in constant denial of the miraculous. And it’s only by telling our stories that we get any sense of how extraordinary human existence actually can be.” Chuck Palahniuk All great fictional tales have an origin in reality. They carry a semblance of truth. We read and watch stories because we want an escape.But what if you told your story? Would it be a mystery, horror, romance, comedy . . . or a combination of a few genres? Would it entertain, inspire, encourage?We get wrapped up in life and forget how amazing our life stories are. The triumphs over cancer, surviving an abusive relationship, breaking our self-destructive cycle, or going back and getting that GED at forty. These are what the great ‘dragon slayer’ myths are made of. You’re the white knight. Your stories are better than fiction—the truth always is—and the best fiction is often a version of reality, only packaged uniquely. Don’t be afraid to tell your story. It’s worthy, and your story, if told with good intentions, will encourage and inspire others. And there’s a bonus. Telling it will enliven you. Why? Because it took the very best of you to slay the dragon you’ve defeated. Your story matters. Begin telling it today, even if merely writing it down for yourself. It’s only by telling our stories that we get any sense of how extraordinary human existence actually can be. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“One today is worth two tomorrows; what I am to be, I am now becoming.” Benjamin FranklinMost of us have dreams of becoming more, ideas of a better life. We can see a brighter future in our mind’s eye. This could be more money, sending kids to college, buying a plot of premium land, or just having more freedom. To attain any goal, we must trade something in. The longer we put that ‘something’ off, the further we move away from our dreams. Why? Because time and tide wait for no man. The ‘something’ we must trade in to reach our goals is today. It’s the only day that matters. What we do with the here and now—the present—is the only thing that can move us closer or further from our dreams. If we stack up enough successful days, we can have our heart’s desire. This is why Benjamin Franklin put so much emphasis on TODAY, and it’s the reason he was able to accomplish so much over his lifetime. He was focused on the present. How about you?Today is the only day that matters, so what will you do with it? Carpe diem.If this Bit of Wisdom encouraged you, please share it with someone else and leave a review. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe

“The price of our vitality is the sum of all our fears.” David WhyteHere’s a definition of vitality: vitality is the peculiarity distinguishing the living from the nonliving.According to the poet David Whyte, the price we must pay for being fully alive is the sum of all our fears.As we get older, we collect fears. Most are irrational—a narrative we’ve seen or heard that has nothing to do with us—but for some reason, we associate with it and we adopt it into our psyche. We add it to our operating system. We hear about a scandal on the evening news or watch a movie that ends in disaster and we absorb the fear narrative that comes with it. This happens more than we know, and most often the fears lie in our subconscious, fairly dormant, until we are inspired to try something new, then, from seemingly nowhere, fear surfaces and keeps us from being fully alive. It suffocates our vitality. The good news is we can do something to combat these irrational fears. Prayer and meditation can help us rewire these irrational thoughts.Recently, I found myself wrapped up in fears I couldn’t even identify, so I created a meditation. Next time you find yourself overwhelmed or fearful, I encourage you to repeat the below meditation to yourself at least five times while breathing calmly. Here’s how to use it. Find a chair in a comfortable room with low lighting. As you breathe in, say or think the ‘breathe in’ statement. Then, breathe out and say or think the ‘breathe out’ statement. As you breathe in: My life is expandingAs you breathe out: My fear is leavingIn: Today is rich with opportunityOut: My focus will be on the positiveIn: More energy and power are enteringOut: Negativity is fleeingIn: I’m attracting good peopleOut: I’m letting go of those holding me backIn: I’m becoming healthier and wiserOut: I’m releasing weakness and diseaseIn: My future is limitlessOut: I’m letting go of the pastIf you find yourself turning your nose up at this exercise for any reason, remember your future will largely be determined by your thoughts. The price of our vitality is the sum of all our fears. Find a way to trade in your fears for true living.If this Bit of Wisdom encouraged you, please share it with someone else and leave a review. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe