Bodgy Creek Roosters Podcast

After the entire Bodgy Creek footy team seemingly return from the dead, the town folk votes to exile them, fearful that ‘weird s**t’ will start happening. With nowhere to go, the Roosters take refuge in the Multiverse & find themselves living in a world that appears to be an endless agricultural show. Will Porterhouse finally fulfil his dream of becoming a rodeo clown? Will Matt Nelson be able to flog his 1Km long pool noodles at his pop up emporium? Will the Toddler Woodchop Competition take off? All this & other stuff may be addressed here. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

Why did the Bodgy Creek Community Podcast suddenly plunge into radio silence after taking out the Silver Medal for Best Comedy at the Australian Podcast Awards? What caused the disappearance of the Roosters Footy Club playing list, all club officials & the training bag of footies? Why is Matt Nelson trying to flog Aeroflot Safety Cards at his struggling Emporium? All this & more in the return of Australia’s favourite podcast about a fictional country town with too many laundromats. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

How do you get invited to the Conger Creek Hotel Dickhead’s Christmas Lunch? Will Snap Printing take out the local business, Giant Bauble Roll for the second year running? Is Poplarville the only regional town to adopt the principles of German Expressionism & Immersive theatre in their community Nativity Play? Join Troy Carrington & the Bodgy Creek gang as they celebrate Christmas & winning the Silver Medal for Best Comedy at the Australian Podcast Awards. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

The unfortunate cancellation of the Caxton Valley Podcast Festival sees Troy Carrington extend a collegial hand & play excerpts from other podcasts produced in the region, including – Extreme Scrapbooking with Pauline, Mary Mary Stationary & Tyler Talks to his Dead Dad Bryan. Meanwhile Warwick Randall describes the historical background of each of the origin teams that make up Kirriwup Blaxland Magnatite Sutton Plains Lapoola Barracks Marshtown South United Carpet Penguins & Matt Nelson’s Emporium try to flog Jumbuck Shearer’s Unitards.[This episode features special guests Andrea Powell, Fiona Harris, Mike McLeish, Emily Taheny, Zillah Morrow & Aidan Willcox) Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

With the 2021 footy & netball season in indefinite hiatus & the time portal in Mutton Gully still leaking, the Caxton Valley adapts to the fact that Fidel Castro now works at Hudson’s Flat Aldi, Tsar Nicholas lives on a canal boat on Wingnut Dam & Marie Antoinette has shacked up with Mr Football, Ted Whitten in an onsite van at Mt Stuart Caravan Par . There are new segments including ‘Ghost Advisor’ & ‘Ask Warwick’ & Roosters coach Troy Carrington, tries his hand at mixing his interest in True Crime & History podcasts with the showcase ‘True Creek.’ Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

After a season like no other, the Caxton Valley League Grand Final between Bodgy Creek & Mutton Gully is played at the Bethlehem Colosseum around the time of the birth of Christ. Will the Gladiators tidy up after their pre-match entertainment? Will Mutton Gully fit all 3 Magi King into their line up? Will the Roosters have to share a dressing room with the lions? Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

With the help of the sympathetic Uploots, the human population associated with the Caxton Valley Australian Football League manage to escape the war torn planet of Greshloot 7, thanks to a diversion created by stars from the Australian soap ‘A Country Practice.’ As they return to Earth through a portal to the township of Mutton Gully, they find that they are unable to play their finals series due to current pandemic restrictions in Victoria. However, by utilising the time portals, they discover that they can play the games in historical times & places that are unaffected by strict, but necessary heath based, behavioural rules. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

Despite the planet of Greshloot 7 erupting into full blown civil war, the visiting country AFL teams of the Caxton Valley League, manage to complete the final round of matches for season 2020. Will the Clairveux Abbey Monks once again renounce their faith when they find out that the apparition of the Virgin Mary, was just Mattress Legs in drag? Will Matt Nelson’s Emporium’ manage to shift 9 pallets of the ‘Husbo 5000 Spouse Leashes?’ Will Maureen remember to water Stan’s geraniums whilst he’s playing Carpet Bowls during an artillery barrage 98,006 years away? Tune in as the Bodgy Creek Roosters march through enemy lines towards the finals. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

Coated in high impact gel, the entire Bodgy Creek Community manage to survive the crash landing of the Fiblup 14 on the planet surface of Greshloot 7 & settle into hub life in a biospheric facsimile of Bodgy Creek. Will the community cope with the Top Pub being built on top of the Bottom Pub? Will the 3.2 metre high gutters pose an access issue for the elderly? Will the Mt Stuart Poplarvile players newly acquired addiction to theatrical improvisation, derail their finals hopes? All this & more in the only podcast that features a fictional country town that has relocated to a distant planet, so they could continue to play footy during the pandemic. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

After taking a disastrous wrong turn out of the exit of a Malperian Hyperway fuel stop, the Fiblup 14 Spaceship, finds itself spinning through a worrying number of black holes. Will the seemingly imminent death of all on board cause the Round 11 AFL games to be delayed or even cancelled? Will Frogfeet recover from the embarrassment of the team learning that his afro isn’t natural? Will Mr O’Farrell be able to successfully retrieve the balls that have gone out of the temporary school grounds & into space? Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

Half way through their week journey to the planet hub of Greshloot 7, the relocating Caxton Valley AFL teams are able to play their first real round of AFL for the season in simulated recreations of their home grounds. Will the Hudsons Flat players emotionally recover from the sustained abuse from the sentient goal posts? Will the on-ship ‘Phillip Island Experience’ be closed down after the giant penguins turned on the tourists? Why has ‘Medical Condition Bingo’ become such a hit with the passengers? Don’t miss this historic transportation of an entire regional community to a planet entirely unsuited for human habitation. With special guest writer & comedian Penny Tangey. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

As the Caxton Valley football season reaches the half way point & anxiety grows about the global pandemic, the league accepts an offer from the distant planet of Greshloot 7, to relocate all teams to a hub, 98,006 light years from Earth. Will the players adapt to the constant meterorite showers & 300 degree celsius daily temperatures? Is there a Bunnings? Will the pub be open? What night is bin night? Will there be bins? All these questions & more will be briefly touched on once we clear customs. The episode also features special guest comedian Wil Anderson discussing the cancelled Bodgy Creek Podcast Festival & cameos from Ronnie Chieng, Kate Mulvany, Fayssal Bazzi & Aaron Gocs. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

As the club staggers through yet another membership crisis, the Bodgy Creek Roosters are emboldened by worldwide pledges to become club members to help the club & the podcast survive. To help with the drive, celebrities call in to throw their way behind the club. Will John Howard be happy with a non crocheted scarf? Will Stan ever stop accidentally ringing Cal Wilson? Will Eddy Perfect get over the s**t pie he was served at a Roosters home game? Is David Bridie going to remain locked in Studio 2 at the community radio station for the entire pandemic? All this & less in ‘The Membership Drive.’ Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

Will Vin Garner’s Parking Ticket Museum meet social distancing requirements for the reopening of tourist destinations? Will Stan’s Jerusalem Artichokes grow back after Denise’s brutal pruning? Will the installation of LED training lights be enough for the Roosters to take out their third straight Carbon Neutral Country Footy Club of the Year title? In this episode we announce news of Bodgy Creek Roosters Membership Packages, we receive our first recorded Trip Advisor Review from a ghost & comedian Nick Cody has a yarn about his plan to film his comedy special in the Clubrooms. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

As Covid 19 restrictions begin to ease, tensions arise in the Caxton Valley League as rival teams battle it out with live streamed, one act plays loaded with Black Lives Matter peaceful protests. Troy previews the Daleglen Lookalike Museum; Warwick talks us through how close Cate Blanchett came to attending a 21st in Bodgy Creek in his ‘Near Misses’ segment & Stan has a yarn to comedian Cal Wilson about poultry sheds, vanilla slices and her cancelled show at the Memo Hall. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

Will Stan be able to sell his impressive collection of orchidometers or will the testicle measuring devices keep taking up space in his shed? Why did the Mt Stuart Poplarville Tiger Snakes set their Virtual Reality Footy Experience in a Target Country store? Why does the Bodgy Creek Memorial Hall have 9 urns? Join host & Roosters coach Troy Carrington, as he talks through the implications of the Bottom Pub moving ‘Christmas In July’ to December & has a yarn with Australian country music star & hall queen, Fanny Lumsden about her new album & surviving a gig at the Mutton Gully Hall. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

Desperate to keep the season going, the Caxton Valley Football League resort to a short film competition that ignites controversy when the Cougars recruit Japanese animator Hayao Miyazaki to create ‘Hobbo’s Moving Clubrooms;’ a restless ghost curates a new exhibition in the closed Bodgy Creek Regional Art Gallery & Matt Nelson’s Emporium have to front the consumer watchdog after trying to hoc Virgin Airlines cabin crew uniforms. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

In a week of controversy, the Bodgy Creek Roosters ANZAC tribute backfires when the League takes away their points for playing unregistered players after the team took the names of the local fallen of WW1. Will the town take on board Warwick’s self isolation tip of pretending your family are trapped in a siege situation? Will ‘The Hunger Games’ style selection process for prep enrolments at Bodgy Creek Primary School be approved by the education department? Will Yollande Morrison’s Plague Era Clothing Range have appeal for those wishing to pretend to live through a different pandemic? Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

As Troy’s alternative football season gains traction, the nation turns its attention to Bodgy Creek to see if they have the panacea for our sport starved country. We also discover – that the township Mutton Gully exists on its own geographical & temporal plain; why Simon Telfer’s inflatable Parliament House was banned from school fetes & how to discourage benevolent ghosts from reviewing your attraction on Trip Advisor. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

With the Caxton Valley League in hiatus due to the Covid 19 pandemic, Roosters Coach Troy Carrington, comes up with a novel idea to keep the season alive; Stan starts selling famous people’s stuff on Buy, Swap & Smell & we hear what comedian Danny McGinlay would have said on stage, had his gig at the Bodgy Creek Memo Hall not been cancelled. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

Will the Roosters ever get to implement the Konmari Method in the clubrooms after their pre-season workshop with Marie Kondo? Will Kristof’s aggressive hand sanitiser, made from his illegal Krupnik Still, reduce the Covid 19 contagion in Bodgy Creek? Will Bernice Campbell be successful in trying to sell her husband on Buy, Swap & Sell. All these questions & more will be brushed over in ‘Isolating the Already Isolated’ - Episode 20 of the Bodgy Creek Roosters Podcast. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

The Roosters go into the Grand Final against unbackable favourites Clairvaux Abbey & find that their trademark high pressure game struggles against committed Religious Fundamentalism. Will the pilgrims gathered at the apparition of the Virgin Mary on the Tennis Club practice wall, distract the players? Will ‘Opus Dei’s’ corporal mortifications behind the goals at the canola field end, put the Roosters off their set shots? Will the Abbot’s outbreak of ‘The Stigmata’ see them all sent off with the the blood rule? Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

A scheduling fiasco by league HQ sees the season cut short & the final four settled after only 5 rounds. Will Hudson’s Flat’s High Court Appeal see them sneak into the play offs? Will the appearance of the ‘4 Horseman Of The Apocalypse’ on the outer wing put off the rampant Clairvaux Abbey Monks? Will the Roosters new rainbow socks spook the deeply homophobic Poplarville players ? All this & more as the Roosters march towards back to back flags! Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

Despite their winning streak continuing, the Roosters are distracted by continuing schisms in the fabric of time. How did Speed Gun get 14th century Portugese naval tattoos? Why do prehistoric animals fall from the sky when Gavorg is in possession? Will Troy’s educative analogies in support of a ‘Yes’ vote in ‘Marriage Equality Survey’ ever end? Join the Roosters as they march towards the finals Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

The Roosters surge to the top of the ladder but at what cost? Speed Gun & his Mobile Library Bus go missing; Jacko’s witness relocation is compromised again & Snowball has a breakdown after a spiritual medium reveals the root cause of his hatred of people who drive ‘Fords.’ Who will Troy play on gun forward Treetops Tate, if Speed Gun doesn’t surface before Saturday. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

It’s been a big week in The Caxton Valley, Morrow & Fisk League! Will hypnotherapy reduce the number of Mt Stuart players fronting the League Tribunal? Will Mutton Gully’s Open Ended Trivia Night ever end? How did Bozo go from delivering pizzas to repairing the external trusses on the International Space Station? All of this and more will be passingly referred to over the next 38 minutes. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

How will fall out from the ‘Paris Accord’ affect the Bodgy Creek playing list? Will the other players follow Harpo’s lead & down size to a unicycle to further reduce carbon emissions? Why did Stan have to occy strap the heavily pregnant Denise to the bed back in 1967? Why did the Caxton Imperials pick all 18 players at full back? Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

Will the Vatican City win the Bodgy Creek FC European Minnows Song Contest? Will Caxton Imperials field an entire side of O’Connors for Round 1. Will the Roosters team bus ever find Mutton Gully’s home ground or will it disappear like the entire Mt Stuart team in 1933? Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

After their drought breaking 2016 Premiership, the Roosters season is delayed by the unexpected merger of the Caxton Valley League & the Morrow & Fisk League. Will the Roosters cope with the the loss of ‘Doormat’ to Phantom Pregnancy Syndrome? Will ‘Sleeve Tatt’ prove once & for all he’s related to Peter Brock & will ‘Frog Feet’ emotionally recover from the pre-season ‘Red Room Rebirthing Session’ in time for the first game against Mutton Gully. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

Will the Cougars get away with using cosmetic surgery to disguise AFL listed players? Will Harpo be right to play after seeing the ghost of a pig in the Rotary Park? Will Sayyid have his visa revoked? All this and more as the Roosters strive to break their 40 year premiership drought. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

With the Vernal Equinox coinciding with the eve of the Roosters First Grand Final in 37 years, Troy organises a function in the Mud Brick Dome. The half and half theme of the night leads to the creation of the ‘Shandonnay’ – half beer, half chardonnay. Will The Roosters be able overcome the Artificial Climate Control Technology at Hudson’s Flat’s home ground, to break the premiership drought? Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

The Jindalup Cootha Saints forfeit the 1st Semi after accidentally booking their footy trip a week early. Stan Coates talks through his memories of the ’61 Grand Final when the floods inundated the ground while the scores were level. Controversially the umpire awarded the game to the Saints because they were the overall taller side. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

The Roosters are into the finals for the first time in 17 years but despite the excitement Troy still expects the playing list to be good role models and makes the team participate in the Bodgy Creek Primary School Book Week Parade. (Note - Most weeks the show is loosely scripted from bullet points, from which I improvise. As an experiment, for this episode is almost entirely unscripted) Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

The Roosters have a win despite new recruit Finbar not knowing the rule about not tackling umpires; there’s mixed feelings about the passing of club stalwart and renowned whinging tightarse Snowy Truscott and the boys sign on to help save endangered wildlife in the ‘Edge Pledge’ project with coach Troy Carrington and back pocket Mohammed Alhesy accepting the challenge of creating an ‘illuminated’ copy of ‘The Koran’ to help save the eastern quoll. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

The Roosters are reeling after the mid-season merger of the Swampmen and the Peacocks. The League controversially add the teams points together lifting the new look Swampcocks into the final four at the expense of Bodgy Creek. Unperturbed, coach Troy Carrington calls on the boys to uphold the Olympic spirit and asks the team to move into the disused Bodgy Creek Caravan Park to recreate life in the Rio Games Village. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

The Roosters celebrate ‘Environment Round’ by wearing henna tattooed jerseys that wash off in a second quarter down pour; Troy shares a yarn about a footy trip to do the Mozart Trail from his AFL playing days and Warwick takes the weekend off to celebrate his wedding anniversary in a renovated tobacco kiln. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

The boys regroup after the Forgiveness Round melee and prepare for Environment Round by trialling alternative leather, bark cloth boots at training and powering the new hyperbaric chamber from the wind turbine on the tennis club roof. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

With the St Kilda AFL Club copying their idea for a Pride Round without acknowledging that the Roosters thought of it first, they decide to move on and organise a ‘Forgiveness Round’ to mark the occasion. By way of apology, will this weeks opponents Mt Stuart accept the tapestry that the Roosters players have made from the stolen jumpers that were set on fire, pissed on and buried after the 1979 Grand Final? Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

It’s been a tough week for the Roosters: They had the 4 points taken off them after a mix up with the team sheet, Vinnie’s Team Portrait for the Archibald didn’t get shortlisted and they staged a mass walk out of the audience in protest at Q&A. The only thing keeping the positivity afloat is plans for this week’s inaugural Pride Round. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe

Roosters coach Troy Carrington talks through the club's plans for celebrating the AFL multicultural round, explains how the election result will impact on the playing group and gives an update on funding to employ refugees to rebuild the clubrooms. Meanwhile historian Hugh Quigley reveals some short lived Caxton Valley League teams from the Gold Rush era and Warwick Randall’s wrap of the league results reveals the devastating impact on the Caxton Imperials, when an O’Connor family wedding saw 13 of the senior team having to leave at half time. Get full access to The Complete Perks of Damian Callinan at damiancallinan.substack.com/subscribe