Bootleg Humans

By happenstance, one of the Bootleg Humans recently found themselves in Istanbul at the same time as Miss. Alisa O’Connor, a distinguished international photo editor, who joins the duo for today’s episode. This is the story of the inspiring, against-all-odds friendship that developed in the bars, shopping malls, and by-the-night AirBnb accommodations in one of the world’s most romantic cities

In the second and final episode of 2023, the Bootleg Humans advise a romantically-confused listener, prepare for the next great Civilisation Reset, and reveal some secret information that the CIA really don’t want you to know. They also sign off with some good news about the state of the world to cheer you into the new year.

In the first episode of 2023, the Bootleg Humans run through the highs and lows of 2022, outline what you should and should not do if you win $300 million on the lottery, and discuss the moral implications of tricking a senior citizen into taking illegal substances. They also question whether the UK has an alcohol problem, and Adam gushes about his first male crush.

New York’s premier bidet expert Seth (last name?) joins the Bootleg Humans to deliver a passionate treatise on the many merits of the plumbing appliance. The trio also discusses the psychological terror of playing rust, post-apocalyptic dildo ice cream cones, and the serendipitous moment that lead to Seth’s adventurous and fun-filled friendship with Adam.

The Bootleg Humans travel through time and space in a conversation that takes them to Columbia, the top of Mount Everest, and the ghastly sleeping quarters of a 1700s Pirate Ship. They also debate whether it’s ever OK to rat out your friends to the police and outline why being a humble pizza chef might be your best chance of survival in a brutal Viking society.

Special guest star Bella joins the Hetero-Bros to discuss acid trips in Girona, the magic of the Monster Trucks World Tour, and the never-ending drama that accompanies being a 25-year-old lesbian in Barcelona. Elsewhere in the episode, Rob details his heroic, crime-busting antics, and Adam takes us to the eerie yet sweet world of spiritual mediums. This episode contains a one-sentence reference to Robert Pattison.

What Does It Mean To Be Human? The answer is just one of many knowledge bombs the Bootleg Humans drop in this week’s episode. You’ll also learn about Switzerland’s impenetrable defence system, the full-speed diet of writer Hunter S. Thompson, and a dark secret of penguins kept hidden for one hundred years. There’s also a performance of an AI-written Batman script featuring The Dark Knight, Alfred, and The Joker, which suggests that artificial intelligence may just live up to the hype after all.

New Year, Same Old Bootleg Humans. Toast the arrival of 2022 (in March) with the Bootleg Humans New Year Special. In the ultimate episode of 2021, Adam and Rob look back over the previous twelve months, discuss whether being a Private Investigator is a respected profession, call out Isaac Newton for being a lame-ass virgin, and teach you how to lay siege on a castle. The pair also get temporarily sucked into cults that take one of the two into the dark world of bootleg DVDs.

In Part II of this week’s episode, Lord Robert and Adam dive into the gravely yet intriguing world of obituary writing, learn why John Fairfax is the most badass man of the 20th century, and argue over the legitimacy of the Rights of Lobsters movement. You should also prepare for your breakfast game to seriously step up, thanks to the delicious knowledge the pair drop on an underrated classic: Oatmeal.

Big news, peasants: there’s a new superior being in town, and his name is Lord Robert. His Excellency joins Adam to discuss their respective (and perhaps imaginary) trips abroad, belatedly open some birthday presents, and learn the correct way to serve rabbit to your dinner guests. Special guest star Jenna, Lord Robert’s sister, joins on the phone from Liverpool to learn some fun facts about ants and most definitely cut her brother down to size.

The Bootleg Humans are shrouded in darkness this week. Literally, not metaphorical. But despite the lack of light, Rob and Adam are here to brighten your day. The duo take a nostalgic drive through Adam’s Colorado upbringing, discuss favors and kickbacks in the chimp kingdom, and hypothesize what our impending communications with whales may bring. The star of the show is Delphi, the AI system with 2021’s most beautiful in-podcast glow-up.

Guest Star Joana joins the Bootleg Humans before her one-way trip to Mars to discuss love, Adam’s highly impressive work history, and Robert’s encounter with David Beckham in the R&B section of HMV. There’s also a discussion on the complexities of creating belts, hats, and electricity, and the groundbreaking revelation that it is the universe, and not you, that decides whether you order the Fish Taco or the Cochinita Pibil Taco.

In this week’s episode, Rob launches his “He’s Not A Bad Roommate” PR campaign, Adam recounts a highly-dramatic scene from Downton Abbey, and the pair talk plenty of shit on Musk, Zuckerberg, and Bezos. There’s also some mild chat about the benefits of psychedelics, an update on Adam’s archnemesis Pasquel, and whether it’s OK to tell children “Happiness is Temporary.”

The Bootleg Humans overcome squeaky shoes to review the latest drama in Rob’s chaotic love life, express their adoration for aspirin, and outline why they positively do not want to find themselves naked in a jungle. There’s also a long, largely ill-informed discussion about ants and the introduction of Adam’s new archnemesis, the legendary Pasquel.

In the debut episode, the Bootleg Humans discuss Adam getting his "head turned" by TikTok, speculate on the merits of "A Key To The City,” and bicker over the world's perception of Brits/Americans. They also tackle the big question: "Will Racism Ever Cease To Exist?"