Brazen Hearts, Fresh, On Sticks
by Robert Thomas Northrup
Brazen Hearts is a goblin soap opera, and it's not pretty. It follows Josie, your typical young goblin, selling freshly grilled human hearts outside the mall, trying to survive her ruthless, bloodthirsty family, and pining after that dreamy hobgoblin who just stomped into town. Each week she describes part of her story to you, another human whose heart she will soon be selling on a stick.
Episodes
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Chapter Twelve: Aunt Sadie's Greens
"Lupo's on Cherry Street is your standard tavern. The ale's flat, but at least the serving wenches have thick heads of foam. If you hold still at the bar long enough, you'll get propositioned by some group of adventurers who just met each other for the first time. They'll invite you along to raid...
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Chapter Eleven: The Emperor's Bib
"The good news is your crush finally speaks to you. And it's not just hi. He actually knows your name and he starts the conversation. "The bad news is: he's dangling from the claws of a gargoyle at the time, being flown West to stand trial as a treasonous vegecarrion organizer. And then all he…
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Chapter Ten: His Terrible Secret
"I drew my knife, lunged to the side of the bed and pressed it against his neck. 'Feel this blade? I will have you or no one will!'" Josie finally reaches SreHAAg, only to see him arrested and carried away to stand trial. What crime could be so horrible that even hobgoblins would outlaw it? Click...
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Chapter Nine: Nadia Bares Her Soul
"Oooo! Why are you so mean to me? We used to be best friends! I used to sleepover at your mom’s pit all the time, and we’d stay up all night braiding bones into each other’s hair, making humans sing their funny dirges for us, talking about boys. I looked up to you like an older sister. You were...
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Easy Streaming Brazen Hearts
If you're trying to listen on dial-up, or if you can't download whole mp3s because you're at work, you might want to try them as streaming audio. The following links should work with RealPlayer or WinAmp or other standard audio playing software that you probably have: Chapter One: Brazen Hearts,...
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Dayjobs podcast launched
I've launched a Dungeons & Dayjobs podcast to spread the stories in different format and maybe rustle up some new paying customers for the paper version. First up is "Almost Always, Somebody Lost an Eye." There's even a promo from the old Dungeons & Dayjobs cartoon, circa 1983!
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Chapter Eight: Dinner and a Show
Have you heard of the Cathouse Dinner Theatre? You go in there, see a show, have a bite to eat, or you can get up on stage and become part of the show, or eat the show. Or if you don't get eaten, you can get a room to continue with your eating or your performance. It's kind of weird because some…
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Untitled Episode
Chapter 7: Trapped in The Gap Josie and a faerie both want the same tanktop at the mall. While they struggle inside, goblin forces attack the faerie mall from outside with catapults and magical artillery. How will they escape the crumbling dressing rooms? Who will come out on top with the…
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Untitled Episode
Chapter Six: Even Werewolves Love to Dish In a very special "Brazen Hearts, Fresh, On Sticks," Josie drags Chunky up to the kitchen, telling how she rescued Rico and won the hearts of her new werewolf friends. Oh, and the special part is how she dispells some painful stereotypes about werewolves....
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Untitled Episode
Chapter Five: Werewolves at Rico's Throat Rico attempts to rescue Josie from the werewolves, but more importantly, did he tell you about the boy he met? His name is Beretta and he has the most gorgeous green eyes.... Featuring muffled grunts and background voices by Melinda Ann Smith. [Run time…
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Untitled Episode
Chapter Four: Human Boots Rico asks a human for feedback on his new advertising jingle, "Human Boots." It's got a good beat, and you can strip flesh off warm corpses to it. Josie seems to be indisposed this week; maybe Rico will mention something about that. Featuring Melinda Ann Smith as the...
About this show
Brazen Hearts is a goblin soap opera, and it's not pretty. It follows Josie, your typical young goblin, selling freshly grilled human hearts outside the mall, trying to survive her ruthless, bloodthirsty family, and pining after that dreamy hobgoblin who just stomped into town. Each week she describes part of her story to you, another human whose heart she will soon be selling on a stick.
Hosted by
Robert Thomas Northrup
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