Break Free and Trust with Jacqueline and Chris: A Redesign for Living

On this episode, Jacqueline and I are going to explore the action of “Just sitting with, or being with, your feelings”. This idea of just being with your feelings or fully feeling your feelings is something many of us have heard from therapists, coaches or spiritual mentors. “Just sitting with” is a concept that is also preached by all the sages over the ages.What does “just sitting with your feelings even mean”? How is this not just avoidance? Why is this paradoxically considered an act of courage in spiritual teachings? What is the benefit and what are the costs of sitting with our feelings? All of this and much more in the next hour. 

Chris and Jacqueline explore the spiritual implications of forgiveness in this episode.Buddhist Proverb: A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman.Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey.The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them. Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”

I was recently listening to a lecture series by Richard Rohr, who both Jacqueline and I regard as an impactful spiritual teacher, and I was struck by one of his statements: “Jesus wasn’t killed by evil people.  Jesus was killed by conventional wisdom” This statement stuck a cord with both of us, for a variety of reasons, and we thought we would explore it more deeply on the show today. What is the literal and metaphorical meaning of Rohr’s statement? How has this been repeated throughout history. And, most importantly, how might this be playing out today and what is our individual and collective roles in it? All this and more in the next hour!

“There is a peculiar suffering that comes with awareness. A kind of exile that happens not when you leave the world, but when you truly see it. You sit down to watch a movie everyone loves and within minutes you are analysing the manipulation tactics, the propaganda, the tired formulas. You’re at a party and instead of enjoying the moment you are observing the social performance, the masks, the desperate need for validation in ever conversation. You used to enjoy these things. But something changed. You woke up and you can’t go back to sleep. “  - Alan WattsToday we are exploring one of the most painful consequences of an expanded consciousness. The simple loss of pleasure. Jacqueline and I share our own experiences and understanding on the topic of coming into higher consciousness, also known as, dying to be alive.

Over the past several months we have had numerous conversations with clients, friends and family that have had a common theme; an expression of the horrid state of the world we live in, and in many cases, a loss of hope for a better future. Everywhere they look, and in everything they read, they see anger, hate, fear, division, and apathy. I understand their outlook, but we don’t share it. In fact, we think we are on the verge of entering the New World.How does this relate to a shift in consciousness and spiritual teachings? What do we mean by the Old World and the New World?  What has changed and why do we think this shift is accelerating? And where do we individually hold power in this dynamic? All of this and more in the next hour!

This show is going to be fun and unpredictable! I promise. I have asked Jacqueline to come up with a list of the top five things that a woman can do to unconsciously sabotage a relationship and I am going to come up with a list for men. We will unveil them for the first time on the show.We are drawing from both our own years of lived experience of being deeply flawed romantic partners as well as the extensive work we do with our clients in our private practice. What subtle and unhealthy patterns of behaviour can we fall into? If we identify these behaviours, can we take responsibility for them and thus acquire the agency for change? What does it mean to be a creator and in service to our relationship?  This and so much more over the next hour.

It seems that somewhere in the recent past, using the word “God” has become provocative, and perhaps even triggering in modern discourse.  Jacqueline and I have amusingly noticed our own verbal gymnastics at times, as we have done our own clunky linguistic dance by substituting Universe, The Divine, The Beloved, Source, Spirit, Creator, etc. in a conditioned avoidance to saying the word “God” to our students, clients and listeners. What’s up with that and why does language seem to matter so much in this case? Are all these different terms not just ineffable concepts too?  Can Jacqueline and I be fearless in our language? What does the experience of God mean to us? All of this and more in the next hour so buckle up. 

In today’s show, Jacqueline and I explore the almost predictable inward shift that occurs on the journey from the material to the spiritual. Based on our own journeys as well as our experience with hundreds of clients we examine What does it mean to move inwards? What are the range of catalysts for this shift or spiritual experience?  How being in service to others is both completely consistent with this shift as well as completely at odds with it and why context matters. This and so much more over the next hour.

In this episode, Jacqueline and Chris celebrate Chris's six year milestone of continuous clean time in recovery by diving deep into the topic of recovery an how it is relevant to transformation in general. How has the recovery process impacted Chris and Jacqueline's life in a short amount of time? How are the lessons and tools from recovery relevant to your transformation? How does the alchemy of this process turn pain into unconditional love? This and so much more in this heart felt episode. 

In this episode Jacqueline and I, motivated by our own personal trips abroad, explore the benefits of taking personal time in the context of a healthy relationship. There is you, and there is me and there is the relationship. This is the 1+1=3 dynamic. Each part needs respect, boundaries, love and energy.  How to we ensure our own energy tanks are full so we can show up for the relationship? Are there ways to support our partners in keeping their energy tanks full? What does it mean to bring that personal energy to the relationship and how do we do it. This and so much more over the next hour.

In this episode Jacqueline and Chris explore how our unconscious definitions of love or mood of unlove, that permeates our culture, gets in the way of our capacity to be loving with ourselves and each other. They explore how the masks we wear to gain love, as a matter of survival as children, get in the way of our relationships, and how parenting can become a powerful way to observe them, let them go and create spaciousness for ourselves and our children.

In today’s show, Jacqueline and I explore a topic that is relevant to all our listeners, working with anger. Not just our own anger but the anger of others, which we encounter, in some form or another, on almost a daily basis.  Where is this anger arising from and can it be avoided? How can you respond, and not react in the face of anger? What is the gift and the opportunity that arises from anger and how can anger be reframed through the lens of transformation. This and so much more over the next hour.

Jaqueline and I have come to understand that what we have ultimately been yearning for, our entire lives, is Peace with ourselves and Peace our fellows. However, without conscious awareness of this understanding, I admit I have spent much of my life, unwittingly moving myself away from Peace and not towards it, at least until more recently.   In this episode we discuss how our fear-based conditioning gets in the way of our ultimate desire for peace, as it is constantly leading us into conflict with everyone and everything around us. With our need to control, our resentments, our judgements, our intolerance and self-righteousness being the enemy of peace. What is Peace? How does it manifest and how does it feel? What gets in the way of living in peace and how do we move past it? And when you find peace how do you hold onto it?    All this and so much more in the next hour

Why do you find it so hard to receive help when it is offered? Why do you have this compulsion to try and do it on your own? Struggling to receive help and being uncomfortable asking for help are often the visible manifestations of deep seeded, and unconscious limiting beliefs, that are in the driver’s seat of your life. In this episode Jacqueline and Chris discuss their own unique journeys with these maladaptive behaviours. How did it impact their lives, what were the limiting beliefs behind them, what was the catalyst for change and, as always, ways for you to bring awareness to your own predicament. All this and so much more in an action packed hour.

In this episode Jacqueline and Chris take on a listener question from the last episode. “If people are generally operating from their unconscious conditioning and early childhood programming, are they responsible for their actions?”   The concepts of accountability, responsibility and culpability are explored in the context of our conditioned behaviour that naturally evolve us to a deeper sense of empathy and compassion for other people’s, and our own, behaviour. The duo also discuss how radical responsibility is the off ramp from our conditioning and into a new design of conscious living.

In this episode Jacqueline and I continue with a theme we developed in our last episode. That we are constantly seeking or stiving for something that exists in the future, or in the next moment of life. We never seem to be fully engaged in the present moment.  Today we explore why this is a collective phenonium and that our society is geared towards keeping us out of the present moment  In what ways does our society do this? Is it by accident or is there a motive behind it? And more importantly how do we break free of it? We will explore this and much, much more in the show.   Watch: https://youtu.be/4NpSVE6lBao 

Chris and I have done a tremendous amount of travelling in the past year, and reflecting on it, has served as a catalyst for this episode. We spend our lives seeking, the next best thing, always pursuing something other than what is in this moment.  It’s as if we are programmed to look to the future, to a new job, to our next vacation, to the new car, to summer break, to a different relationship.  We are programmed to think somehow that we will be happy when we have achieved, acquired, arrived.  But what we are really looking for, in some ways, is nothing more than the next dopamine hit.  Happiness is not something that exists outside of us but rather something we cultivate in every moment.  The truth is, we can travel across the world and adventure till our hearts content but wherever we go, there we are.   We cannot escape ourselves because being fully alive means being with ourselves in every moment and learning how to turn toward what is, with all our attention.  Wisdom lies in recognizing that life can be full of adventure and novelty, but true contentment lives in the pause between breaths and the presence we bring to everything including and maybe especially the mundane.    Watch: https://youtu.be/cigTUfqZHnI 

Inspired by the work they have done with their own clients, Jacqueline and Chris explore why we are constantly looking outside of ourselves for what we can only give to ourselves. Why do we have a tendency to abdicate responsibility for our needs to others? Needs like how we are loved, how we want to be treated and even our validation and self-worth. Are we seeking something that no one but ourselves can give us? How do we shift this and learn to befriend ourselves. This and much, much more in this episode of Break Free and Trust.

In this episode Jacqueline and I explore the concept of reframing our experiences and outlook as a way to living a happier and more fulfilling life. We all live a different subjective reality based on our own personal experiences.  Because our reality is subjective, it can be reframed to better serve us. What does reframing entail and how does is work? When is it appropriate versus when is it just bypassing? And what are some practical examples in our own lives that our listeners can relate too? We will explore this and much, much more in the show.   For live viewers, the show will also be open to questions in the second half of the show. So please call in at 1-800-930-2819 or write your questions in the chat.   Watch: https://youtu.be/2STNY2h1fes 

In this episode Jacqueline and I explore relationship dynamics. In our professional capacity as counsellors, coaches and mentors we are exposed to a wide variety of challenges our clients bring  to us with respect to their relationships with partners, children, employers and everyone for that matter. What are some of the common factors underlying these challenges? How do these challenges play out in different types of relationships? And how can we empower ourselves to face these challenges with an open heart and an open mind?We will explore this and much, much more in the show.   Watch: https://youtu.be/45ZgeDOnfNQ 

In this episode Jacqueline and Chris will explore the paradox of identity. That is, we need an identity to navigate in the world yet attachment to this identity is the cause of so much of our suffering. Where does our identity come from, how does it evolve over time, when and how does it transition from survival to suffering and what can we do about it are questions explored in the show. There is something in this episode for everyone so join us on this journey.   For live viewers, the show will also be open to questions in the second half of the show. So please call in at 1-800-930-2819 or write your questions in the chat.   Watch: https://youtu.be/5wrvTEWy-Pk 

In this episode Jacqueline and Chris will explore what it means to just “Feel How You Feel” as opposed to the seeking of comfort or pleasure as was discussed in the last show. Why are we so fixated on managing how we feel? What do we think we get from it? And what are the real and hidden costs of living this way? Is this the path to “Breaking Free”? This is the first show that will be open up to questions so please call in at 1-800-930-2819 or write your questions in the chat and help Jacqueline and Chris explore these questions and more.   Watch: https://youtu.be/xY0ql8M1Y1U   

In this episode Jacqueline and Chris  explore the topic of pleasure seeking. That is pleasure seeking from a psychological and spiritual perspective in case your minds were wandering somewhere else. Why does the human mind pursue pleasure? Why is there this great demand for comfort? What role does fear play into this dynamic? The show explores these concepts and more and will leave you with a more complete understanding of how pleasure seeking may be impacting your own life as well as some practical ideas on how you can free yourself from the mental prison it can create.    Watch: https://youtu.be/r2GjJuxMRSM 

In this episode Jacqueline and Chris find themselves in Cape Town, South Africa where their 30 day African adventure is coming to an end. They share some of their experiences from the road including the many ways that the trip and the people they have encountered have reshaped the way they see the world and their own place in it. Join them for an hour long transformational adventure.   Watch: https://youtu.be/rT4y-mMmaXk 

In this podcast Chris and Jacqueline explore the concept of Spiritual Awakenings.  Chris uses the term Spiritual Awakeing often in conversations and this language makes Jacqueline squirm in her seat a little bit every time. Given their intention to have honest conversations they thought it would be a good idea to explore why that is and what it means and, in the process, hopefully de-mystify the topic of Spiritual Awakenings for their listeners.   Watch: https://youtu.be/RQTpKlGcA-c 

In this highly informative episode, Jacqueline and Chris explore the drama triangle construct, victim mentality and living life as a Creator. The pair have made several references to the drama triangle in previous episodes and  listeners have asked them to go deeper on the subject.  Drama is feature of all of our lives and how we navigate it can make a big difference in our overall level of contentment and sense of purpose. There is something in this episode for everyone so sit back and enjoy.   Watch: https://youtu.be/SwSYyVIGs1I 

In this episode, Jacqueline and Chris take a deep dive into unseen forces shaping our world. They explore the concepts of polarity, consciousness and the drama triangle - three powerful lenses that reveal the hidden dynamics of our global climate. This is a conversation that might challenge your perspectives, push your buttons, and spark new insights. But that's exactly why we're here - to explore the conflicts we find ourselves in and uncover deeper truths about ourselves and the systems we participate in. So buckle up and open your mind for this thought provoking ride.   Watch: https://youtu.be/x3t7_fR3fK0 

In todays show Jacqueline and Chris explore the topic of secrets, lies and honesty and the roles these concepts have played in their own lives as well as the people they work with. Like most of things in our lives, there are aspects that operate above the surface of our awareness and those that operate below. They influence the way we choose to act, the masks we are unwittingly wearing and the overall level of peace in our lives. There is something in this episode for everyone so settle in and enjoy.   Watch: https://youtu.be/w5gnsTBH9h8 

In this episode Jacqueline and Chris explore the meaning of the word teacher and how we have been collectively taught, over time, to seek outside of ourselves what we can only truly access by looking inward. In their own lives both find themselves in the seat of guide, teacher, mentor sponsor or some mix of these words, and yet their paths getting here are very different as are the meanings the words themselves hold for them.  This episode will leave the listener with and understanding of why a spiritual approach and spiritual teachers may be critical in the coming Aquarian age.   Watch: https://youtu.be/EwhD2eIKhSk 

In this episode we dive into the topic of “surrender” through the lens of our own lived experience as well as our experience working with others. In this conversation we explore what surrender means to us and how it has shown up in our own lives. We also go deep into how a posture of surrender has the potential to significantly transform all areas of our listeners lives.     Watch: https://youtu.be/CVWluTfgEcI 

In this episode, inspired by a blog that Jacqueline recently wrote for The Way Healing (https://www.theway-healing.com/blog), Jacqueline and Chris explore her most recent transformative experience.  There are many parallels with Joesph Campbell’s monomyth, the Hero’s journey, and Jacqueline's own recent experience but her expereince is also much richer and deeper in many respects. The duo explore that and more as Jacqueline shares her experience and wisdom.   Watch: https://youtu.be/ZhDDR6ZRTkI 

In this episode Jacqueline and Chris discuss addiction and its impact on the family from an experiential perspective. Jacqueline from her clinical perspective, having worked at a treatment centre and in the field of addiction for many years. Chris from his perspective of being an adult child of an alcoholic, a recovered addict himself and now a sponsor and coach to people suffering from the disease. Their conversation helps demystify addiction and guides the listener on how to better handle addiction when it shows up in their own family system.  Watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rc0_kRgng8Q 

In today’s episode, Jacqueline and Chris discuss the "wellness space". They  explore what initially attracted them to this area as both participants and ultimately practitioners, how the space has evolved and how they have evolved with it. They also discus current trends and directions in the space and what they could mean for you.

In this episode, Jacqueline and Chris discuss the importance that purpose plays in helping us craft meaning in our lives or lives filled with meaning. They explore how purpose often shfits throughout the course of our lives and what drives that change as well as the discomfort that arises when we lose our sense of purpose and how to help naviagate these challenging times. Jacqueline and Chris dive deep into how purpose relates in thier own lives and in relation to how it is showing up for the people they work with.

In this episode Jacqueline and Chris discuss group work.  Between them, Chris and Jacqueline have a lot of experience on the participant and facilitator end of many different groups.  They are both drawn to group work, and the alchemy that can happen within the group container.  That said, they are also conscious of some of the pitfalls of the group dynamic.  They have an interesting conversation around the topic that can help the listener better understand how group work can benefit thier own journeys.    

In this episode Jacqueline and Chris continue thier conversation on the topic of a daily practice. Last episode they went deep into their own experiences with daily practices and only began to touch on the applications and challenges of a daily practice. In this episode they get into the "Art of the Practice" as well as answer some of the listener's questions from the past episode. 

In the first of a two part series, Jacqueline and Chris discuss the benefits and, at times, miraculous outcomes of commitment to a daily spiritual practice (sadhana). In this episode, vulnerability is on full display as they discuss the catalysts that lead them individually down this path of commitment and transformation. This powerful episode will motivate the listener to incorporate a daily practice in their own lives.  Stay tuned for their next episode as they get into the benefits of daily practice and provide guidance on how the listener can easily get started on their own daily routine.

In this episode, Jacqueline and Chris explore the mind-body connection and how harnessing the wisdom of the body and the power of the mind can help us to heal emotionally, mentally and physically. They relate their personal experiences in overcoming many forms of pain and injury in the context of "mainstream and alternative" healing modalities.

In this second episode of Break Free and Trust, Jacqueline and Chris explore fear and the role it plays in our lives.  This episode is deeply moving and personal as the topic of fear is explored, through events past and present that have transpired in their own lives.  Join them, as they model courageous vulnerability in the face of fear and in so doing tap into a greater destiny and peace of mind. 

In this first episode of Break Free and Trust, Jacqueline and Chris really take the time to introduce themselves and their stories with honesty and humor. Through their candid banter, about what brought them each to where they are individually and as a couple, they inspire listeners to break free from whatever is hindering them from living the most fulfilling life possible.