Breaker's Point Podcast

I wish I could say anything notable or newsworthy has happened during this miniature hiatus from writing these, but nothing really has. I am still neck-deep in my job search, so if any of my readers have any connections, anything would help at this point! This process is not fun. The music industry is competitive and getting a job is often a result of who you know and being in the right place at the right time—otherwise known as luck. It is difficult to even speak to a human before you are rejected, which is the most frustrating aspect for me. I have recorded one-sided interviews and I am sure applications have been filtered out by whichever AI software large companies use to scan for employment buzzwords. Nonetheless, I am confident my knowledge and passion will shine through and position me well for filling whichever job I apply for once I get face-to-face with someone. However, I am fortunate because I have the tools to stay sane and level-headed in this process. I have learned to handle rejection well and I have confidence that my services and personality would contribute to a company’s success and positive work environment. It is also comforting to know that I truly am trying my best and doing my part. I sit at my computer applying for jobs, tweaking cover letters, emailing contacts or anyone I semi-know to try and weasel my way in and cut through the noise. Now, it is about getting lucky or having something turn my way that is out of my control. Ultimately, it is a process with lessons that I am glad I am learning as I am in this transitional period in my life. Waiting has always been a difficult thing for me to do. Georgia will say that is the “east coast” in me, and perhaps it is, but this process has taught me the virtue of patience and being grounded in situations where the most you can do is hope for the best. As I get older, I am beginning to realize that the fear that drives anxiety and discomfort comes from having no idea what you are doing. I try to keep my ear to the ground and unpack life’s intrinsic b******t for an opportunity to learn and grow. And ask questions. Questions come with answers and answers come with knowledge… at least sometimes.Enough about jobs. I do not even want to talk about it anymore. It is similar to when I was applying to schools and that was the hot topic on every adult I interacted with’s mind. I am going to talk about my music. For the first time, I sent my album around before it is released looking for feedback and thoughts and seeing if my opinion about it is justified. I am confident about this album as I am everything I make because I have to be. I tell a lot of people that the number one thing that one must have in order to have any form of success in songwriting (which could be emotional reward and pride) and making records is an unwavering belief in oneself. As a music snob and overanalyzer, lack of confidence comes off clear as day in an artist’s music to me. I will speak a lot more about songwriting later in this piece. For now, understand that I wanted my confidence to be checked. I can say that it has been, and the people who have listened have told me that songwriting and lyricism are the appeal of my songs. That makes me happy. I also loved the criticism which has sort of been pretty unanimous as well. I have been told to give riskier and gutsier vocal performances. Phoebe Bridgers has brought an apathetic vocal style to the forefront, as she can deliver such a deep and emotional set of lyrics in a numb way creating a haunting irony. It totally works for her and other singer-songwriters before her like Elliott Smith, Sufjan Stevens, and James Mercer of The Shins. I think trying to distance myself from the behemoth that is (my biggest musical influence) Bruce Springsteen’s impassioned vocal delivery, and listening to so much singer-songwriter music as I wrote and recorded the album, I may have fallen a bit flat. However, I know that live I usually give more punkish or rough vocals that people seem to identify with and evidently, look for in my recorded work. That is a note moving forward. I am excited to put this thing out and it is going to be really soon. I promise. It will be soon. I need deadlines if I am going to market and advertise this thing the way it deserves to be. That deadline is a release date that I have to work hard to meet. That is the only way I think I set myself up for success at this point. That is how I work, and there really is not anything wrong with that, unless I do not realize it, but I have, so I think we are good. Grateful Eight* I am probably the 100th person in the last month who will tell you to watch The Bear but watch The Bear. A few of my favorite TV shows like Barry and Better Call Saul have ended recently and this Hulu show has more than filled the void. It is a brilliant character study and a realistic peek into a kitchen environment with all of its glorious chaos. I am grateful for The Bear. It is awesome.* I am thankful for Geese’s new album, 3D Cowboy. It is such a great rock record and the best one I have heard in a while. As I mentioned, I listen to a lot of singer-songwriter music which can often rock hard, but this feels like a band the way The Velvet Underground, Television, and The Rolling Stones feel like a band. People who say that rock bands are dying are quite frankly, morons. I heard someone say that Arctic Monkeys are the last great guitar band, and I want to know what the hell they are smoking. Forget that Arctic Monkeys’ discography is… let’s face it, not so good (I adore their first album but virtually nothing else). The Arctic Monkeys have not made a true rock record in like 10 years. It is almost irrelevant though because obviously there are incredible guitar bands, you just need to look harder; and younger. * Vegan ice cream. Vegan ice cream is a staple now at most ice cream shops, which is a dream come true given my dairy allergy. A random shop in Syracuse had vegan strawberry ice cream. I got that baby in a cone and enjoyed the hell out of it. It is nice to see.* I guess that this is a little less of a gratitude list and a little more of a list of things I like, but I will add the Quarterback series on Netflix. It is incredible and follows Patrick Mahomes, Kirk Cousins, and Marcus Mariota on the football field, working out and studying the playbook and film, plus their off-the-field lives. It is really cool, so I recommend it.* I am grateful for our Peloton bike. It is so easy for me to hop on and do a Sam Yo class. It is cardio that I actually enjoy for once. Exercising’s effect on mental health is almost as rewarding as its effect on physical health. I am trying to get in good shape after shaking many of the choices I made in college that were not so kind to my body and mind.* HENRY’S GOTCHA DAY! We took him home three years ago today. He is our sweet boy. * I am grateful that I started this newsletter because it really has been a good talking point/something to mention in job applications. Writing skills are always necessary for the type of jobs I am applying to and it is good to mention that I am actively writing even if it is just personal narrative.* Bruce’s large discography. I am reviewing all of his albums as I have ranked them from worst to best. There are a lot of them which keep me busy and cure some boredom. I am writing all of the reviews on Breaker’s Point and they send to your email like all of my regular newsletters. Please read it because I worked so hard on these. Please share with any Bruce fans you know.This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: The Universe (Wilco)I believe I have written about this song here, but I finally worked up the courage to cover it. I was actually nervous when I was recording this. Once I learned the song, it took me several tries to make a recording that I felt was good enough to share with you all. It is actually a song that I thought about covering before, but ultimately, decided not to because I believed I could not match the weight of the original version. It is like covering “Yesterday” or “In My Life.” You should not do it. It is perfect the way it is, and simple at that. It is hard to make it your own and add anything new and interesting to it. However, I did want to share my version of the song because I love covering songs I love. When I played this song, I began to understand it on a deeper level both musically and lyrically. It taps into a universal curiosity among human beings who wonder just what we are doing here and why we exist. It is about a quest for answers beyond the ones that the beauty of art can give. These answers will never be factual or objective or straightforward, but it does not matter. We are here. That is all we know. At least, that is my interpretation of it.This song is a piece of ingenious songwriting, and I will tell you why. It is simple both musically and lyrically which makes it immediate. However, although the lyrics are simple and ‘said plain’ if you will, Jeff lets you fill in the blanks. By writing this way, you open a song up to longevity, especially when it comes to the universe: a theme that will always contain more questions than answers. However, this is not to be misconstrued as lazy songwriting. There are not many lyrics in “The Universe” and they do not say a whole lot other than framing the question of ‘what is this?’ and ‘why are we here?’ through Jeff’s perspective. That is it. Yet, you feel the intensity in just the way Jeff strums his acoustic guitar on this song. Thought and emotion went into it, and this was the result of that. Keep it simple stupid is a great motto, but any empathetic person on this Earth can distinguish between simplicity and laziness. You either believe the songwriter or you don’t. If you are reading this, you might be thinking I am overanalyzing or that you cannot tell whether a piece of art is tastefully simple or lazy, but you can. It is just whether or not, you care and when it comes to music, many people do not. That is totally fine because everyone consumes art for a different purpose and in a different way. Music just happens to be MY life. There is a reason for the cliché of ‘be yourself’. When you are not being yourself or diving deep within yourself to express a feeling, it is obvious. Jeff Tweedy is being Jeff Tweedy in this song. I do not want to necessarily put other artists down, but I always scoff when artists implement an enormous and obnoxious marketing and promotion campaign for just two and a half minutes of music. A songwriter does a disservice to their song if they place it on any sort of pedestal. Albums are different to me just because of the way I usually write. For me, a song is a color as an album is a painting. That is my personal opinion, which I totally think many people will disagree with. That is okay. I just wanted to say that because it is a testament to what an incredible (forget songwriter) craftsman Jeff Tweedy is. This song is smack-dab in the middle of a 21-song album. Many people will never hear it, even if they are familiar with Wilco, and Jeff is okay with that. I don’t know why I find that so incredibly cool and romantic, but it really moves me. It is definitely a little song not to be compared to epics like “Ashes of American Flags” or “Spiders (Kidsmoke)” or “Art of Almost”, but it is a masterpiece and for Jeff, just another day on the job. Don’t forget to keep your eyes peeled for my Bruce reviews. Since I went on and on about this song, I will provide the lyrics which I usually do not do for covers.“The Universe”Talk to meI don't want to hear poetrySay it plainLike how you really speakThe universeFor what it's worthEverything is listeningFor what it meansSpit it out, every doubtPoison flowerWe can all agreeThe universeFor better or worseIt's the only placeTo beI'm seriousI don't really care, I'm seriousI don't really care about itAbout a single thingBut everything is listeningFor what it meansEverything is listeningFor what it meansSo talk to meI don't want to hear poetryJust say it plainLike how you really speakThe universeCould be worseIt's the only placeThere is to be This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

There is so much going on in my life right now. I apologize for how long you have to wait for a newsletter from me these days. I have been busy, but it has also been intimidating to write lately just because there is so much stuff I deem worthy of sharing. I have to devote a great chunk of time to writing about it. Since the last time we spoke, I have graduated college. Graduating college is a milestone that I was never prepared for. When I graduated high school, I was relieved to never have to enter Montville Township High School ever again in my life. I knew that I was on to bigger and better things at Syracuse. I knew my next step. Now, I do not. This is where the trajectory of my life becomes totally unpredictable, which is a major first. Growing up, life can take twists and turns, but there is a certain stability to living in the same house and going to the same school every single day. I am now living in my childhood house again, but this time there is no timeline for how long I stay. I do not even know if I will be living on this coast in a matter of months. Do not get me wrong, it is definitely exciting, but it is also terrifying. I have been applying to jobs and have not gotten much more than a nibble from any of these companies. I sort of expected that, but the tediousness and stressfulness of the job hunt weigh on me and again, throw me into the purgatory between graduating college and real life, so to speak. I am excited to have you all on this journey with me, and hopefully, we get to that place that we really want to go.Damn, I am going to miss college. I could not be more elated that I will never have to sit in a classroom again in my life. I do not have any more research papers, projects, and exams. It is delightful. However, it is everything else. I am so lucky to have had an awesome college experience despite COVID throwing a giant wrench into it. I made lifelong friends, and I generally got to be around people that I just simply had a good time with. The goal was fun always, and camaraderie which I value and believe is extremely underrated. The truth is, I made some really close friends that I will stay in touch with, but at the end of the day, even if I do not, we shared this ride together. I thank everyone for a great time and good luck in the future. I also began a new relationship for my senior year, and not getting to be in Syracuse with Georgia anymore leaves me with a hole in my heart. Graduation is the definition of bittersweet. The bitter is f*****g bitter. It is sad. But, the sweet is just as sweet as the bitter is bitter.After graduation, I went to Los Angeles where my girlfriend, Georgia grew up. I had already been to LA with my family in 2019, but of course, we had to hit the touristy spots. That was a great trip and I am super excited that I got to see all the sites, but it did not necessarily give me an idea of what it is like to live in the city. I stayed with Georgia’s family as she took me to delicious restaurants (if you have not tried LA’s finest Korean BBQ, then you are missing out), hikes, shopping and arcading in Pasadena, flea markets in Melrose, Downtown LA, and she was generous enough to take me to the sweltering town of Tarzana, so I could go to Norman’s Rare Guitars. If you do not know Norman’s Rare Guitars, think of any movie with musical instruments in it and it is likely that gear was loaned from Norm’s. It is super famous. I also met modern blues guitar aficionado, Joe Bonamassa which was cool. We had a great time in LA and I enjoyed getting a sense of the place where Georgia grew up. Then, Georgia and I went to go see Indigo De Souza at Union Transfer in Philly. She was incredible. For those who do not know her, she is a 25-year-old Brazilian American singer-songwriter from Asheville. Her personal Cobain-like lyricism and grunge combined with her soaring whimpery vocals and her confidence and charisma onstage made for a great evening. Check out her stuff. Now, I am here at home in New Jersey applying for jobs, and working on all my personal projects. You may be glad to know that my album is finished. It is called For Peace and it will be out eventually. I know I need to have some sort of marketing campaign and promotional strategy to get as many ears on this thing as possible. I am so bad at it. I truly hate using social media when it comes to spreading my music. It never feels natural to me, and it probably never will, but I will try. It is hard for me to express myself that way. I express myself through writing, whether it be this, poetry or lyricism. I will figure it out though, and if anyone has ideas for me, please let me know. This album is by far the most personal and mature one that I have ever made. I worked very hard on it, and it took me basically two years to come to a cohesive tracklist that I believe showcases my talent and more importantly, my message. Meanwhile, I am beginning to work on my fourth album. You can get a little sneak peek of the direction I am leaning towards at the bottom of the newsletter where I always attach a song. I need to play some shows. I also need to find a band. On the other hand, you are going to start seeing some extra Breaker’s Point content. I am reviewing all of Bruce Springsteen’s albums and attempting to rank them. I am working on the first one right now. Grateful Eight:* I mentioned this before, but I am so grateful for the really close friendships I made at school these past four years. Special shoutout to all the boys.* I am also grateful for the diversity of people that I became friendly with whether it comes to race, gender, sexual orientation, upbringing, interests, hometown. It is personally enriching to know people from different backgrounds. It makes you a smarter and more capable person. It also makes life more fun.* I now have a day that I cook dinner for my family each week. I have spoken about how much I love cooking, but at school, I only do it for myself. I am excited I get the opportunity to regularly share my cooking. Do not worry my family, I will try not to go heavy-handed on the salt nor burn the house down.* Pepcid. I have had bad stomach pains lately, but this is a miracle drug, and I do not know what I would do without it.* The other thing that I did not mention about graduation is the gifts! I look into my bank account and see three digits these days. It’s a start. Thank you to everyone for being so generous. All love.* Photos. Over time, I have realized the importance of taking pictures. They capture a moment and they help you remember all the good times. I wish I took more pictures in my life up to this point. Of course, while it is important, I do not necessarily like being in pictures, but you do not have to be in all of them. Just take them. * This Theo Von guy. Holy s**t is he funny. He is all over my TikTok and the clips kill me with laughter. He has kind of become part of my everyday life in that way for better or potentially worse down the line.* On a serious note, as I am in a transitional period in my life, I have to just get overly sentimental for a moment and express my gratitude to my support system and all the encouragement I get as I carve my path.This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: I’m So SorryIt is interesting how my songwriting focus shifts from project to project. Many artists like to make songs that they release as singles or combine into an EP or LP. I think about songwriting a little differently and I focus on making albums because I believe that is my personal art form. To thread the needle from song to song while working on a project, I predominantly use one instrument to write the songs with. While there are loud songs on For Peace, the record was written almost exclusively on acoustic guitar. I tapped into my folk and country sensibilities and delivered a project that was based on that style. Now, I am interested in making a lot of noisy DIY indie rock like some of my heroes in the 90s and inspired by a few recent rock records I have loved lately (see Indigo De Souza’s whole catalog and MJ Lenderman’s Boat Songs). This was sort of my approach to my album Need A Vacation, but the sound I am going for now is grittier, and I think I have improved both as a songwriter and performer, which….good! That is what is supposed to happen! Anyway, all of my albums up until this point have been pretty autobiographical, especially For Peace which is deeply personal and touches on my own mental health issues. In this next chapter, I want to write from the perspective of characters and the types of people I encounter in my daily life. For example, in the last few weeks, I have seen a lot of, frankly, disturbing homelessness. Syracuse, Downtown LA, Philly, and of course, I have seen it in New York City. I decided to write from the perspective of a homeless person. I think we look at these human beings disdainfully. At least, I know I do myself even despite the strong sympathy that I have for them. I touched on that here. I wanted to remind myself that these people are human, just lost to the point of no return. I think about their quality of life, and why they even have an urge to live. I want to know their stories. There is also a pretty much universal cause and that is drugs. How can we prevent this as a society or better yet as a community? I do not really know yet. However, I am enjoying putting myself into others’ shoes to gain perspective and show people that my expression can take the shape of many voices that are not attached to my own experience. I’m So SorryDrop a coin in my cup, I swear I’ll use it wiselyAt worst just smile and shake your headAnd tell me no politelyA thousand times I ask of youLet’s just talk and exchange our shoesI’ll wear them on my feet as I bust a moveFeeling so sick all my life my parents even hate meThey tell me to go kill myselfBut death don’t seem great latelyThough purgatory sounds so niceThey disassemble every case and shell around my lifeAnd I’m a whole lot of soul beneath the devil’s knifeI’m so sorry for livingIt’s not my fault I swearI’m so sorry for living breathingGod, I just don’t think there’s something else out thereDrop a coin into my cup and I will talk to you nicelyI’ll take you to some far-off place Where no one else can find meI’ve been battered black and blueBut only half of what I say is trueAnd I could f**k you too but I guess that could get priceyI’m so sorry for livingIt’s not my fault I swearI’m so sorry for living breathingGod, I just don’t think there’s something else out thereDrop a coin in my cup…ah whateverI’ll be wearing a knitted shirt regardless of the weatherI’m so sorry for livingIt’s not my fault I swearI’m so sorry for living breathingGod, I just don’t think there’s something else out there This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

Guess who’s back? I hope everyone is doing well as we enter the home stretch of winter. It is bitterly cold today in Syracuse and it has been for the past couple of weeks. We got a lot of snow here, but in true Syracuse fashion, you would hardly even know it with how fast plows came out and the streets and sidewalks were salted. Overall, this Syracuse winter rivals my freshman-year winter in frigidness and snowfall. I tell people that ever since freshman year, I no longer suffer in the cold, but I will tell you what, I am suffering! Anyway, enough about the weather. This is water-cooler talk, where it should be about me telling you s**t that is going on in my life. Without further ado, here is that.I have been productive music-wise with a handful of recent performances, and a couple of songs that I have churned out since the last Breaker’s Point. I did a TV performance at Dick Clark Studios here in Newhouse. It was a TV set with a stage, lights, and a bunch of excessively high-definition cameras that exposed every hair, blackhead and blemish on my face. They did offer me make-up, but I declined. It was part of a series called Loud and Clear, where Syracuse artists and bands perform stripped-down sets for Orange Television Network and YouTube. I played solo-acoustic versions of “Clawing at the Glass”, “Dissociate”, and “The Winner”. I have been performing for a while, and I am typically confident on stage no matter how many people are in the audience. I am never nervous or anxious about performing in front of a group of people because it feels like a collective, shared experience, with instant gratification derived from people bopping their heads, smiling, and applauding at the conclusion of each song. Now, if you put one camera in front of me, that is when I start to freak out. Lenses are much worse audience members than people. They do not even clap. With all that being said, I did not freak out at all while recording this set. I think it is because I played songs that I could play in my sleep, so I was not worried about flubbing chords or lyrics. It felt good. Then the episode came out (I will link to it at the bottom of the column) and I think it is a great document of who I am as a songwriter and performer. I made few mistakes and tried to pour as much of my soul into it as I possibly could despite the beams of light and harrowing cameras shooting at me from all angles. I liked it so much, that SURPRISE, I am releasing the audio of the performance on streaming services for all to listen. I am excited to drop something as it has been a while since I have shared new music in that way. Everyone can also expect a reworked version of “You Were There When the Ship Sank” as well. It is a song that most people call their favorite when I perform it but the recorded version on my album, Dissociate, leaves a bit to be desired. I just need to cut some background vocals, mix, and it should be out in a jiffy. This version rocks significantly harder and is similar to the version I play live with the band. As far as my new album goes, it is also really close to being complete. I have to cut some more lead vocals, background vocals, and mix and master it so it sounds nice. Sonically, this is the best project yet as I have learned a few quick tips and tricks to utilize to improve my amateurish engineering skills. I do not want to give too much away, so I will not tell you the name of the album. I will only tell you that it is twelve songs and runs about 45 minutes. I was having a lot of trouble with the tracklist and which songs should make the cut, and continually writing new stuff that I thought would flush out the tracklist. I really do feel like I am done now. It is just a matter of finishing touches as far as recording and production and I hope to get it out as soon as I can. I am excited to share it. Many of these songs have been around for a couple of years, while some are quite new like the closing song “Solitary Sunrise.” I actually recorded a version of the in the Newhouse studio on campus, but just as I felt when I recorded “Living a Myth” in the Newhouse studio, I am disappointed. I like getting studio experience, but there is something about being on my own time where the pressure is off. I also like to make my stuff sound good, but a little roughness around the edges is always appealing to me.Other stuff. I played a show at The Mudpit two weeks ago. It is a basement here at Syracuse. I played as a trio with Trevor, who has been playing bass with me since the fall, and Oji on drums. It was my first time playing with Oji, and she had big shoes to fill replacing Nick who is abroad, but she killed it and we had an awesome show. I missed playing with the band and breaking out my rockstar moves and my lead guitar playing. I got great support from my girlfriend and her friends, my friends, and the people there to just watch and hear live music. The crowd was one of the best that I have played for. It was a lot of fun. Meanwhile, Ben and I have been hard at work with our senior capstone project for school, and that has not been fun at all. In fact, it has been quite stressful, but it should help me learn and get a job because hopefully, I will be a step ahead of other candidates as far as knowledge of the business. I do just want it to be over though. Grateful Eight:* Cooking. I have mentioned how much I love cooking here before, but I am realizing that it is integral self-care and meditation practice for me, and then a reward because I busted my ass to make something delicious. * I don’t know why, but I have been obsessed with Mounds. Mounds and Almond Joys get so much hate, but why? I love coconut and chocolate. It is almost as good of a combination as mint and chocolate or caramel and chocolate or pretzels and chocolate or raisinettes or chocolate covered strawberries or chocolate covered bananas or…* Centro-matic. I was introduced to this band recently, and I have been listening to a lot of their catalog. They remind me of The Replacement with a countryish, midtempo feel to them. I suppose you can classify them as alt-country, but with some fuzzy ass guitars. It is such a great sound. There has sort of been a rock revival in the mainstream pop music sphere recently, but in my opinion, it has yielded some terrible-sounding s**t. This is just a band in a room playing raw. The only reason I mention this is because yesterday, I was listening to this ATROCIOUS new album from Måneskin. It is some of the worst s**t I have ever heard in my life and it sounds like the band and producers have not heard a single rock song in their lives. You know what it is actually? It is like Muse but inconceivably worse, which is a tough feat. Anyway, to cleanse my palette, I put on some Centro-matic and I was rocking out as I made myself a French Dip. * The Veterans Building at Syracuse. I wish you can see where I am right now. It is a beautiful, massive study room that I have entirely to myself. There are windows on all sides, tables, chairs, and comfier chairs like the one I am sitting in now. It is just great. I used to sit at the café around the hall, but people started to catch on that it is a great space. Now, I sit in the Grand Hall with nobody else around me.* I get to go to Punta Cana next Monday for spring break. I need the sun, the warmth, the relaxation, the pool, and the all-inclusive food and drink. It should be fun.* When I get back from Punta Cana, that Tuesday, I see Bruce in Buffalo. It is so close, I cannot even believe it. * Barstool and Dave Portnoy just came out with tequila High Noons. In the past it has just been vodka and soda, now it’s tequila and soda also. These are so easy to drink, and taste so much better than the vodka ones. I hate vodka.* The Knicks and Rangers are both fun to watch, especially the Knicks right now on their 9 game tear. This is great as Syracuse Basketball is about to come to an end, and opening day is still a little over three weeks away.This Week’s Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Rare Recording: Dissociate (Live at Dick Clark Studios)I thought I would give my readers a little taste of the Loud and Clear session. I like this song because it works in both full-band and acoustic arrangements well. It works when is subdued and when it’s balls to the wall Radiohead meets Black Sabbath Rock N’ Roll. This song is obviously the title track to my first album. “Dissociate” was meant to put what leaving my hometown for college was going to feel like in a single word. However, it takes on a double meaning as it is about feeling disconnected from yourself and from your life. It was a little bit of foreshadowing because shortly after, I really started to feel like that. Anyway, enjoy this acoustic performance from my upcoming release. DissociateI’m so scared of being lostI lose myselfI don’t want to be found untilI find myselfWhite noise, white lies, white innocenceBrown eyes, black hairYour voice, your cries, your brittlenessYou’re everywhereWe will all be goneWe will all be goneGive everything awayDissociateThe twilight’s cold like the adviceI got todayThe sun rises so high that it’s out of sightThe whole world is grayWe will all be goneWe will all be goneWe will all be goneWe will all be goneGive everything awayDissociateVideo of this performance This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

My devoted readers! Hello! Sorry that there has not been a newsletter in a long time. I actually have been busy, but I need to start blocking out time to write these because I still love doing it. It is hard to believe that it is already mid-February. Let me tell you what I have been up to. I have been playing solo acoustic lately, which has been fun and less stressful—especially at school. There is something to be said about only relying on yourself going into a gig. I know my songs better than anyone ever could because I wrote them. I definitely mess up sometimes, but taking full accountability and responsibility for the mess-up is more comforting, than worrying about how mistakes by guys in the band impact the performance and exhibition of the art that I created in solitude. I acknowledge that mess-ups are usually fine, and while art is precious, Rock and Roll is not. It is also hard to coordinate times to rehearse when we are all so busy with school and other extracurricular activities and projects. Many of my heroes have spoken about the fact that a great song can be stripped down to its skeleton—a guy and a guitar—and still deliver the full extent of its heart and soul. That is how I write most of my songs, so it is cool to share that vulnerability with an audience. Additionally, I can perform any song in my growing catalog, and not be concerned about the band learning it. Crafting a set with a band is like a puzzle. What fits together? How do songs bleed into one another? What is the message that I want to send? Meanwhile, crafting a solo acoustic set seems like it has lower stakes. It is more loose and subject to change. Even though there is only a handful of my material that my audience knows, I like going back and playing songs that I have not played or thought about in a while. I know that I appear to be ragging about playing in a rock band, but do not get it twisted. I love it. Fronting a rock band has always been my dream, but I am just riffing about the perks of playing solo because it is my first time continually performing that way. I played Redgate here in Syracuse last Friday on that -5℉ night. Redgate is a house venue here, and artists play in the basement. It is an excellently run venue with good organization and great people at the helm. They succeed in crafting a memorable Friday night among an ocean of Friday nights that span the ever-dwindling time that we all have here. I think it was a good set, but the audience was rowdy. I expected that, and it did not bother me for the most part because I saw a bunch of people listening and enjoying it, and that is enough to keep me going and having fun. I played the atrium of Schine Student Center at Syracuse a few days later. I had a good time. It was low-stakes. I had fun relaxing and playing music for anyone who wanted to listen. It was kind of like playing in a restaurant where you are mostly background noise, but some people watch and listen attentively. I just love playing. It was better than anything else that I would have been doing on a Tuesday afternoon.Update on what I have been working on as far as recording! My album is almost done, but I still have to record a few more songs and make sure the mixes of the ones I have recorded are up to snuff. I will tell you that the album will likely be 11 or 12 songs. I keep fussing with the tracklist. Making this album has been both fun and agonizing because I really want it to be nothing short of amazing. I want it to have a more mature sound, writing style, and refined lyricism that holds all of the deeply personal feelings and experiences that I have poured into this album. I have not ever made anything this personal. I just hope people like it, but I am committed to putting my best foot forward. I have fallen into a trap before where I work so hard on writing and recording that I ignore little mistakes and uncrossed t’s because of how tedious they are to fix. Not this time. I do not want to tell you too much more about the album, but I will say that I wrote the entirety of my last album on an electric guitar without once picking up an acoustic guitar to write with. I did this on purpose because I just wanted to make a great straight-ahead rock album. For this album, I wrote the majority of the songs on acoustic guitar because I wanted a more folky and mellow sound spotlighting my writing and lyrics. Interpret that information as you will. I will also make a top-secret announcement that only my readers will know. “You Were There When the Ship Sank” tends to be the song of mine that people enjoy the most. I do not love the recording up on streaming services right now, so I am re-recording the song and dropping it as a single soon. Stay tuned for that. It rocks substantially harder. Okay. Now, I will tell you what else I have been up to and why I have been so busy. I am a co-General Manager for WERW Radio; the student-run radio station here at Syracuse. I have been involved with WERW since Freshman year, and I think many of you have listened to my show once before. I have always seen the potential in WERW and it has been disappointing that WERW has not fully realized it up to this point. I do not claim to be the WERW savior—it was doing just fine without me—but it is fun to come up with ideas and execute them to leave the station better than when I found it. Over the past few weeks, my co-GM and I have been assembling our E-Board and scheduling shows. There is a lot of adversity that we had to rise above; including a limited budget with just enough funds for us to stay afloat. I like the challenge of coming up with ways to make the station better without spending significant money. The shows started Monday and my show is on Saturday at 1 PM. I have also been working on my senior capstone project. Ben Dietz and I are creating a music publishing company and throwing ourselves right into the deep end. It is a lot of work and we are learning on the fly what goes into building a successful business. It is a b***h, but it will pay off. I think. I hope.This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: The Piano in Pink MoonThis song is about the little piano passage in Nick Drake’s “Pink Moon.” It is so simple, but it is a musical moment that gives me chills every single time. I know that many music fans feel the same way as I have seen on music threads and blogs. I thought it would be witty to write a song about a song. It is a little folk song that is meant to be taken in jest, but I hope you also find it to be pretty. The Piano in Pink MoonI can be downSick, sorry or blueI can feel so tired and restless And not know what to doSo I just put on a recordAnd the speakers start to cooYeah the piano in pink moon brings me throughYeah it starts with a g And it ends with an e flatAt the doorstep of serenityIt’s a musical welcome matI just don’t know what it isAbout that little passing tuneYeah the piano in pink moon I love youIt’s only four bars and it happens twiceBut it’s twenty seconds of paradiseI wish that I could pass it as my ownWell if I believe in you and you believe in meThen let the music make this a memoryIn each others arms safe and sadNick I know you’re out thereMy hope tells me so You could give so much comfortIt’s a shame you had to goAnd I knew when I heard that little interludeThe piano in pink moon is a portal to youThe piano in pink moon, an emblem of truth This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

I wanted to get this out yesterday or the day before, but I got hit with some nasty food poisoning and did not have the physical or mental strength to deliver a column of desired quality. With that being said, here we are. It is 2023. Even though I am a sentimental person, I have never really been sentimental about the year coming to a close as many are. However, 2022 was an eventful year for me filled with ends, new beginnings, growth, and once-in-a-lifetime experiences. I want to briefly recap it while sharing my hopes, dreams, goals, and aspirations for 2023 because this is a public journal, right?I turned 21 this year; that is a big birthday. I can now legally drink and purchase alcohol, but as far as the liquor store next to Tuscany Villa knows, that has been the case for four years. Here is a tip for under 21ers: grow a beard, and pretty much no one will question s**t about you. I spent my 21st birthday at home in New Jersey after most of my friends left to go back to school. There is a picture in my Snapchat memories from my birthday and it is me watching a Bruce concert on the couch with Henry on my lap. Was it the most exciting celebration? No. But, it is hard to get any better than that. Then, I went to London where I started to write these. I am not going to recap my experience abroad too much because I already did in earlier newsletters that anyone can go back to and read. It surpassed all of my expectations. I truly did not anticipate the semester to be not only the most fun I have ever had but a formative experience where I learned a great deal about myself and the world around me. I feel boastful when I talk about going to the Louvre, the wine tour in Florence, touring the Coliseum in Rome, St. Patrick’s Day in Dublin, and immersing myself in as much of the amazing city of London has to offer. It was so great, that I feel bad for people who did not or will not have a chance to experience it. Of course, I cannot overlook the new friendships and the deepening of existing friendships that happened over there. What a plus. On a personal note, I both got out of a long relationship and got into a new relationship within the year, which is kind of crazy for me to reflect on. I guess I am just a relationship guy. Maybe, it is because I am a pretty open book; most people do not write down their feelings and post them on the internet or perhaps through song. I am grateful for it all shaping out for me to be left in a place where I am currently happy and content. I am starting to really feel like an adult in my mind and emotions. I look forward to growing and developing, and getting to a place where I feel like I am ready to take the bull by the horns when it comes to getting out into the real world. I am not quite there yet, but the seeds are planted, and I am on the right track mentally and emotionally. There is not that much time as I am about to embark on my last semester of college, but I know that I will get there soon, and any pressure I put on myself to get there overnight is probably counter-intuitive. In any case, the cliché holds true of experiences being about the friends and relationships made along the way. I am lucky to have people in my life that truly care about me and support me whether near or far, and that is a key ingredient in the recipe for my open and evolving notion of success. Music, sweet music. 2022 saw me performing my first set in New York City. I love New York City, and many of my greatest musical experiences have happened within its confines. I have always dreamed of playing there, so it was cool to do that once, let alone three times—twice with the Montville iteration of the Mnemonic Advice band and once by myself solo acoustic. It honestly felt like any other set I have ever played, despite it being a milestone, but I have noticed that when I tell people that I have performed in New York City, it is almost instant legitimacy for me in their eyes. After all, show business is all about impressing people, so it is nice that I have that little nugget of credibility to whip out. I also played four shows in Syracuse this past semester, which was so fun. I played at The Westcott Theater, did an all-blues set at The Harrington with the M.A. Blues Brigade, performed some never-before-played stuff with the band at Redgate, and performed a solo acoustic set at Funk N’ Waffles, after not performing solo for a year. Not to mention, I also have accumulated dozens of songs for my next project and I am still neck-deep in the tedious process of demoing and recording them. I have never written so many songs in a year before, and I am happy that 2022 was able to amass that quantity and quality of art and prove to myself that I can be a great songwriter if I continue to work hard and hone in on my craft. 2023 should be another big year for me. What are my goals? Well, for one, get a job. I am getting less and less anxious about finding a perfect fit because I am realizing the idealist mindset does not come up fruitful in a job search. I want to get my foot in the door first and foremost, and figure out how I want my career to go from there. I want to make my family proud. I also look forward to continuing to deepen relationships and form new ones. I forgot how much I enjoy making new friends. Music-wise, I definitely want to release another album this year and play more shows. I want to continue to sharpen my songwriting and my abilities as a musician and performer. That flame will never die, and I am looking forward to working harder at it and progressing. I always say that although I dislike academia, I love to learn. Here is to learning some s**t in 2023.Grateful Eight* The New York Football Giants have made the playoffs for the first time since 2016. No one expected this team to even be .500 let alone have a winning record and make the playoffs. The team has been much less depressing to watch knowing that they are headed in the right direction.* I saw some amazing music this past year—whether it be an interpretation of Radiohead’s Kid A at the Jazz Cafe in London, The Cinelli Brothers blowing the roof of the Ain’t Nothing But the Blues Bar in SoHo in London, Wilco premiering their incredible new album at Solid Sound (I saw Wilco three times in 2022 and I already miss them), or Billy Strings play in that dumpy arena in Rochester. I am forever grateful for live music.* On that note, ONE MONTH until the E Street Band hits the road. I cannot wait. I also cannot wait to setlist-watch, and for friends to think I am the weirdest person a live for following a setlist to a show that I am not at in real-time. I admit it is weird.* Hey, the Mets have made some moves since we last spoke. I am grateful for Steve Cohen’s money and commitment to field a World Series-caliber team.* I am grateful for my health, and the health of those close to me. That is always an important aspect to acknowledge.* From there, I am grateful that I no longer have food poisoning.* Family dinners. Dinner in front of the TV at school is definitely a blast, but I have always liked to sit down at a table and talk.* I am a glutton for fuzzy socks.This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: Live at Heaven Can Wait 12/23/22This was a great show, if I may say so myself. I have gotten a knack for composing an acoustic setlist, and the addition of many acoustic-driven quieter original songs has helped. I have learned from watching the greats perform solo, and prove that a song that can withstand being totally stripped back to its fundamental form is a song that is great. There is not a whole lot for me to say here, but I think this is one of the best shows that I have ever done and I am so excited to share it with my readers. It likely will be posted to Bandcamp soon as individual tracks in an album for everyone to download for free and listen to in a more organized way, but here is a taste.Setlist: Everyone’s Chasing a DreamDroughtThe Piano in Pink MoonClawing at the GlassCan WaitOver Yonder, in the WoodsDefending…The WinnerYou Were There When the Ship SankMerry Christmas, Baby (Otis Redding cover) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

Happy Halloween to all my readers! I do not know how I feel about Halloween, so I thought it would make for nice Breaker’s Point material if I talk through it and maybe evidently tackle how I feel about the holiday as a 21-year-old guy. I will start by saying that I loved Halloween when I was a kid. There was nothing like showing up to school in full costume and seeing what all your other friends were wearing. The school day would be full of fun spooky activities, and then a few of my friends and I would meet up and go trick-or-treating. When I was really little, my parents and my friends’ parents would take us around Pine Brook. I will never forget walking around with my mom as the afternoon turned into dusk; then, my dad would come home and he, my brother, and I would do round two right around where we lived as the dark night fell. Eventually, I was allowed to go trick-or-treating without parental supervision, and that is when an even larger group of my friends and I would walk around the Longview townhouses because they were closer together and we could hit more houses in a shorter span. It was all about efficiency. Once we loaded up our pillowcases, and they were too heavy to swing over our scrawny, kid shoulders, we would go back to home base, empty out all of our candy, and trade and barter for the candy we wanted that another guy had. We would even play poker with it. That is when I realized I did not love to gamble. It is this unbridled joy-filled fun that informed my love of the holiday. It is some of the most innocent fun I have ever experienced. The nostalgia of being a kid on Halloween is actually a little soul-crushing for me. The fact that I do not love Halloween like I used to, and the means of celebrating it is not by going trick-or-treating, but by engaging in boozy and debaucherous behavior makes me long for the wholesomeness of being a child. Of course, I do have fun with all of that. It might be less of a Halloween-related thing, and more of myself just feeling a general nostalgia for kidlike purity and the joy of my upbringing, and Halloween just firmly pokes at it. They don’t tell you that growing up can often be sad.I do not really enjoy dressing up in a costume anymore, and I find it more stressful than fun. I love to see what other people wear, but coming up with a good costume makes me oddly insecure. Also, just wearing a sports jersey is super lame and I do not want to be super lame. I just do not really like Halloween anymore, as much as I wish I did. There are some things about Halloween that I do think are cool though. The horror aspect is cool. The holiday is inherently eerie. I walked to my morning class today under an overcast sky, and a cool autumn wind, and for some reason, I encountered very few people on the way. It was spooky and I loved it. It truly does not feel like an ordinary day. Also, I do not care how old I get, I will always love candy. As I am writing this, I realize that I was just food shopping at Wegmans and I forgot to buy some Halloween candy. I have some Sour Patch at home, but I want those big assorted bags. Anyway, I guess I honestly did a good job trying to get to the bottom of how I feel about Halloween. I hope you have enjoyed yours.I want to totally switch gears and tell you about some Mnemonic Advice activity coming down the stretch. I will be releasing a song called “Blood You Draw” along with new merch! The merch is ready, but I am still putting the finishing touches on the recording of the song before I upload it to be streamed EVERYWHERE. I had somewhat of an epiphany last week where I realized that I had so many songs just sitting there idling, and many recordings waiting to see the light of day. I got in my own head a little bit about the sound quality of my music. For this album, I wanted to enter a real studio and record it with a real band, and while I would still love to do that at some point, I do not have the time or money to do that right now. I realized that I can do so much more on my laptop to make the music sound better than I have been doing. I have been learning how to mix and master properly and with purpose. My last album sounded adequate and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing as far as engineering/tech goes. I figure if I have even a small idea of what I am doing now, I can make this upcoming album sound marginally better. “Blood You Draw” is a song that I have been opening with at shows. It is a straight-ahead punk rocker that I did not feel meshed with the somewhat understated and at times, quieter music I have been recording for the next M.A. LP. It is a great single…I hope. Anyway, it will be the first time you can hear my new and ever-so-slightly improved mixing and mastering skills. I am so excited to share that, and my T-shirts/hoodies! Additionally, I have booked a show for 12/23 at Heaven Can Wait in New York City! Stay tuned for that. Grateful Eight* Bruce finally agreed to go on the Howard Stern show. I really enjoy Howard’s interviews and this one has been incredible so far. I know everything that is out there about Bruce from following him, reading books, and seeing shows, and I am still learning things about him in this interview straight from his own mouth. It is delightful. He could not be more lucid and down to earth, and the man has not lost a step when it comes to his singing voice. * Thanos. It is a sandwich shop here in Syracuse and it just hits every time. I hadn’t had it in a while but could not resist getting it for lunch today.* I take for granted the ability I have to record a song on my laptop in my bedroom and mix and master it right there. I feel myself wanting to break out from that, but damn is it convenient and cheap, and it makes the barrier of entry so small for musicians. Technology, man.* As I mentioned, I love candy, and Halloween makes it socially acceptable to eat it publicly. * I recently started watching Ted Lasso. What an excellent feel-good show. I am early in it though. No spoilers.* This pork chop that I am about to make. I am so determined to make it the greatest pork chop known to mankind. Pork chops can be woefully dry if they are overcooked. Disgusting s**t. But if they are cooked right, they are delectable.* I have two fantasy leagues. In the KD fantasy league, I have lost Breece Hall (my RB1), Jamarr Chase (my WR1), and Mike Williams (my WR2) and so my season is pretty chalked. However, in the BYH league, I am thriving. Watch out. I can win that thing. Thank god.* This warm weather. This weekend was gorgeous. It is crazy to see the leaves all off the trees but still get blessed with a 70-degree day in Syracuse. However, while I am grateful, it indicates climate change which is grim. I always wonder, how could a climate change denier rationalize that it’s 70 degrees in late October in Syracuse if climate change does not exist?This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: “Undercover (I Wonder)”This is a rough mix of “Undercover.” I am proud of the songs I write, my lyricism, and the style that I have developed. However, most of my songs, while incorporating wit and black humor, are pretty deadly serious—even the more energetic rockers on my last album. I think about my heroes. Bruce wrote “Adam Raised the Cain" about the soul-crushing guilt and darkness he inherited from his father, but he also wrote “Sherry Darling” literally at the same time; a fun and hilarious song about his girl’s insufferable mother. Jeff Tweedy wrote “Misunderstood” about being an outcast and being chewed up and spit out by the darkness of a society that he feels he does not belong. He also wrote “Monday” about “Choo Choo Charlie’s plenty good band.” Those two songs come 1st and 3rd on the same album. It is the yin and yang of songwriting. I do not think I will be totally satisfied with myself as a songwriter if I cannot write a really fun, lighthearted song like those. I do not always want to take myself so seriously. I think only writing as a solution to an internal conflict, or to say something deep and profound can be exhausting to myself and perhaps an audience. I want to write just because making songs is fun. “Undercover” is me giving it my best shot. It is just a song about being used by a boyfriend or girlfriend and the benefits that once again return to your life once it is all over. It is something that an audience can latch onto effortlessly as it is a pretty universal situation described simply and explicitly. I think it is also my favorite guitar solo that I have ever recorded. However, I do not really think it fits with the project I am working on. I could end up being wrong though.“Undercover (I Wonder)”Sometimes she goes so undercoverSometimes I can’t see her for milesSometimes we’re smiling at each otherSometimes she goes away and hidesOh I wonder if I’m gonna see her tonightNowadays I think she’s got a loverNowadays she looks so insecureNowadays I feel too bad to hoverNowadays my knees are on the floor I’m beggin babyOh I wonder if I’m gonna see her anymore She used to stare at me with all her heartSometimes a look’s enough to tear you apartI think I fell for you and all your liesI guess I gotta take met eyes off the prizeNow I got money to spend Now I got some time to myselfNow I got a hand that I can lendNowadays I got adequate mental healthOh I wonder can somebody stuff her stealthOh I wonder will I ever find someone else This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

I took a break. I hope I can get you all back on board because I have missed writing these, but it just got away from me this semester so far. My brain is actually feeling the effects of it; it is cluttered. The whole point of this was for me to share what I am thinking about on a week-to-week basis, but I did not realize how cathartic it is to put these thoughts on paper. The initial idea was to find some outlet to promote my music or as my professor says, “tell my story.” It has become a public journal. I guess I will update you on what has happened while I have been away. In the last Breaker’s Point, I wrote that I had a show at The Westcott Theater. Well, that show happened and it went…okay, I guess. I tried to get ahead for this semester, so I put together a band in July, so there would be no stress to form Fall 2022’s iteration of Mnemonic Advice once I got to school. It might be the first time I acted so far ahead, and not procrastinated myself into a hole. However, I still ended up in a hole. Unfortunately, before the show, I had a couple of band members drop out, and it was pulling teeth to find replacements. Finally, I found a bass player and at that point, I just had to go with a trio. The MA3…sigh. The gigs were so successful this summer because I played as a four-piece and a five-piece. These groups add a whole higher level of musicianship, and know when to learn the parts I wrote on the recordings verbatim, when to throw them by the wayside, and do their own thing or a combination of both! A good song is a good song however it is performed and I truly believe that, but much of my stuff begs to be flushed out. I was not psyched about playing as a three-piece, and on top of that, we had little rehearsal time as I finally got the band together at the final hour. It made for a sloppy show, but I did have a lot of fun as I always do. The following week, I just completely failed at getting a band together for a show I booked in July at Funk N Waffles. That was so disheartening. I had big plans for that one, but no one was able to play with me, so none of that vision was executed. I went solo acoustic. I had not realized it but I had not played a solo acoustic show in about a year. There were about fifteen people in the audience watching me, but as I have been telling people; I think it was the best live performance that I have ever done. I meticulously comprised a setlist where I was able to pour out in 45 minutes all the themes and key ideas that I have been writing about this whole time. I joked to the crowd that the set was not going to be “fun,” and that if it was fun they wanted, they should have seen me the week before with the band. It felt freeing that this set did not have to be fun, it was an opportunity for me to be extremely candid and communicate my artistic vision both directly in spoken word and through my songs. I was able to be my authentic self and make jokes and earnestly provide commentary on what songs meant to me and my headspace while writing them. I came off the stage feeling as though I had just purged all of my emotions. That is how I know it was good. There was also one man who came up to me and told me how much he enjoyed my set and asked me where he can find my music. I pointed him to my profile on Deezer. (Who uses Deezer?) I played a cover of “Friendship” by Pops Staples, and spoke about how the song is one of the few songs in the world that can make me cry. I explained how much I loved the Staples Singers and that this track came from an album called Don’t Lose This, which Jeff Tweedy, Spencer Tweedy, and Mavis Staples created out of unfinished demos from Pops. The man explained that he was from Mississippi and strongly identifies with the Staples Singers and that my performance felt like home to him. That might be the best interaction with an audience member that I ever had. It goes to show that the audience size should never affect my performance. Ready to hear about show number three? For this show I did the impossible; I put together a four-piece band. Friend of the program Nick Beebower played drums, Ethan Girtz played keys and Trevor Fraticelli played bass. This show took place at The Harrington, a basement venue here in Syracuse. I did not want to stress about playing my material and making sure it sounded as tight and well-represented as I needed it to be. Ben Dietz suggested to me that I do an all-Blues set and that it would be so much different than other bands at Syracuse. Plus, it is a genre I am passionate about. I went home and thought about it and decided that it is a really good idea! (The only negative is that now Ben will never let me forget that it was his brilliant idea. Kill me.) I put together a Mnemonic Advice offshoot: The M.A. Blues Brigade. We did a bunch of blues and blues-rock tunes and we set the place on fire. It was such an amazing show. Everyone in the band was equally passionate about the music that we were playing. That took so much pressure off. It was so much fun. I played drums on a song…like wut? Sometimes when the goal is just to have a blast, you end up having a blast. We will see where that band goes. I do not have any shows planned at the moment, but I am working on it. Otherwise, it has been a fun semester. I feel prepared to step out into the industry at this point, but with big dreams, it is hard to determine what the scope of my life will be. What do I like to do? What will be rewarding for me? How do I independently myself afloat? I will hyperbolically point to these John Lennon lyrics to describe my feelings: “When they've tortured and scared you for 20 odd years/Then they expect you to pick a career/When you can't really function, you're so full of fear/A working class hero is something to be.” I do have an idea of what life will be like for me after college. I am willing to put my head down and work hard and build the funds and the connections to get to that place that I really want to go. I will walk in the sun, if you will. Otherwise, I am having a good time socially. The last hurrah. The last dance. Whatever you want to call it.Grateful Eight* I am grateful for the guidance and knowledge that the Bandier Program has given me both directly in classes (obviously) and inadvertently. When you talk and learn about the same thing for four years, you develop strong opinions. I equally love many aspects and hate many aspects. My likes and dislikes could very well change, but it is nice to have a starting point to understand myself as I make this great leap.* I am grateful for how much my family is staying in touch. This is a brand new living situation for all of us with my parents as empty-nesters, and Sam and I both in college. We are killing it though, and I know that is not the case for many families.* I think I have expressed my love for my little poodle good boy, Henry. I have missed Henry this semester more than I ever have—so much so, that I think I might be a dog person now.* Heard a great song co-written by Norah Jones and Jeff Tweedy performed on Norah’s new podcast. It is called “I’m Alive.” It is so simple both structurally and on the production side, and reminded me that in a sea of overcompensated production to try and make up for the lack of good writing that happens often in the mainstream music business, we still got some purity. I do not want to go on a negative, old-man-yelling-at-cloud tangent, but the songwriting has been so horrendous and lazy in mainstream music these days. A few years ago, I could listen to the top songs in the world and found a lot of value and interest. Even if I did not quite like the music, I understood it. Man, I cannot even comprehend some of the music that is popular right now. Pop music was KILLING it with Billie Eilish and Lizzo and Dua Lipa and now we have Willow Smith bastardizing punk music in a nauseating fashion. The negativity train stops here. Anyway, this Norah Jones song is good music. Heart. Soul. Passion. Warmth. Yeah, this is it. * I will keep up with the music thing. I found an artist named Chris Kasper. He scratches that country/bluesy itch that I always find myself in need of scratching. “City By The Sea” is my favorite. He also does a great cover of State Trooper, and I am super tough on Bruce covers.* Speaking of Bruce; the “Meeting in the Town Tonight” intro on that stretch of 20 or so shows on the US tour in 1999. It gives me chills. It also generates so much excitement it’s magical. I love it. I was just watching 11/15/99 in Cleveland and as he transitioned out of the intro, I just could feel from his 1! 2! 3! 4! that “cold rain running down the front of my shirt” would be the next thing he sang. I love “Don’t Look Back.” Electric.* Ummmm….the Giants? 5-1? Is this real life? Brian Daboll, man. Saquon partying like it’s 2018? The defense is good?* Ummmmm….the Rangers? I mean, they were supposed to be good, but they are off to an insanely hot start like I have never seen before. It will be a fun season if this is any indication. This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: “The Winner” It has been hard for me to articulate the message in this song, and when I do articulate it best I sound like a sour person. Maybe I am a sour person, but I like to think I turn that sourness into good art; making a positive out of a negative. It is better than me just ranting, which many artists (sour in nature) do. Artists are hypercritical of other artists because artists are just passionate people. My friends tell me that I cannot just like something, I have to love it, and conversely, I cannot dislike something, I have to hate it! Anyway, this is a song about an upsetting songwriting trend. Right now in music, you can only be cool if you are not cool. That in and of itself is not a new thing. Stephen Malkmus is the opposite of cool. He is tall and lanky with a geeky haircut and an odd singing voice. With that being said, Stephen Malkmus is one of the coolest people ever. Make sense? He embraces his uncoolness and channels it into songwriting and has a vast catalog of uncool cool people anthems. Stephen Malkmus does not have to prove he is uncool to anybody, we already know. He can just do his thing. Young songwriters have been outcasting themselves in their own music. The appeal is to be the introvert at the party and just want to go home, cry, and listen to The Smiths or whatever the f**k. It is sooooo tired. Also, I do not believe them because they sing about being alone and different at the party in a way that clearly shows, they have never been alone and different at the party, They have just been regular human beings who for whatever reason were not having fun that night. It is very pick-me, if you understand what that phrase means. If not, oh well. Maybe Urban Dictionary it. This whole self-deprecating trend with the Willow Smiths and the Machine Gun Kellys of the world cosplaying as punk rockers. Olivia Rodrigo has done us dirty also, even though I think she is actually pretty good. I liken to it us having Pearl Jam to thank for Creed. Listen, I am not here to be the gatekeeper of punks, but the child of A-list actor/rapper Will Smith? I wish Joe Strummer was alive to see this, or maybe I do not because I do not think he would handle it so well. I mean just read these vapid nonsensical lyrics: Met her at a party, I said, "She seems nice"/Every time I thought about it, I got butterflies/And when I told you, we agree that she's alright (Ah)/Never thought I'd be trippin' over the lost time/I said it was fine, yeah/Layin' down, six feet under, it's sublime/Should've saw the signs, now we're in a fight (Ah) Are we serious here? I just do not like when people glorify mental health issues to ascribe to a trend or notion of the “tortured artist.” Additionally, I do not like when people wallow in their songs period. F**k the “woe-is-me” s**t. This song called “The Winner” encourages these types of writers to embrace the winner in themselves. It is actually compassionate, which may be hard to believe given the utter disdain in this paragraph. Really, I just want people to be their authentic selves and wear their emotions in their art instead of labeling them. I will wrap this up, but read this specific Lizzo verse that I LOVE. “Don't hide no emotions (Emotions)/Wear 'em on my sleeve (On my sleeve)/All my feelings Gucci(It's Gucci)/Can't hold back my tears/That would be a crime/'Cause I look pretty cryin'Oh, they ain't tell you?”“The Winner”I heard your sad songsClamoring at emotionAnd empathyYou looked into the mirrorAnd said nobody’s fit to tell this storyBut meSo you stick out throughout the crowd and think what the hell is anyone even talking about You conjure all your self pity as if the loser in you is the same as the loser in meWell you can sing words that will only break us downWell you can stir the pot as my body boils in it from the mind downBut there’s a winner in you And I wanna hear how it soundsHonestly I don’t careAbout anyoneMaking outWe all long for lustBut you can trustWe’ll all figure it outSo the prom king didn’t want you but I want you and baby I wanna figure you outNostalgia is a tool but there are fools who think that they ain’t living it nowYeah you can sing words that will only break us down Apathy is in the sea when your sail blows you back to your hometownBut there’s a winner in youAnd I wanna hear how it soundsTell me why you hurtTell me why you longTell me with more wordsDeeper lyrics in your songsI just wanna see you happyI’ll be happy if you do tooBecause life is always fleetingLife doesn’t happen to just youTell me you see the bright sideDon’t be pathetic pleaseWhy you wanna live in a worldWhere everyone agreesWe’ve all felt like a loserParties where you don’t wanna stayYou’ve built yourself a livingOut of everyone feeling that wayEmpty stories are best not toldEvery single dayBaby it just gets oldWhat more can you sayBefore you take out your best dressBecause its all just woe is meAnd you put on the dressAnd let everybody seeYou are looking so good babyYou are looking oh so fineCounteract the sadnessLet everybody see you shineLet everybody see you shineWe’re all human beingsWith human emotionsAnd human problemsI know you have more than advertisedBut there’s warmth deep in your soul you gotta let everyone recognizeWell you can sing words that will only break us downShow confidence the way people will remain when you come aroundThere’s a winner in youAnd I wanna hear how it soundsThere’s a winner in youAnd I wanna hear how it sounds This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

Hello readers. I am coming to you from Bird Library at Syracuse University, where today I embark on my final first day of school. EVER! It is a crazy feeling, but at least now, I am excited about being here and enjoying every second of my senior year. Before I mention anything else, I want to remind all of my readers in the Syracuse area that I have a show at the Westcott Theater on Thursday. It is the first Mnemonic Advice performance of the semester, and it comes at Bloomfest II; a fun four-act concert to kick off the semester and show and tell about all the amazing musical opportunities Syracuse has to offer both creative and business-minded. I expect a good-sized crowd at this event and I cannot wait to rock the house.Speaking of rocking the house, I saw Wilco last Tuesday and Beak and Skiff; an apple orchard with a nice open field with a stage at the front of it. I took Ben Dietz to the show for him to see my favorite band for the first time, and I am happy to report that he enjoyed it and was impressed with how good they are live. I am glad he caught onto what makes this band special and why fans are more than eager to see them again and again and again. Going into the show, I was a little bummed about how static the setlist has been on this tour with minimal variation from night to night, which is part of Wilco’s appeal. However, it ultimately did not matter, which I also expected. Wilco never disappoints regardless of what they play. That is what you get with a band that has such a deep and prolific catalog to the point where fans leave the show satisfied, while also wishing that they got to hear thirty more of their favorite songs. There was a lot of jamming in this setlist, more than I have ever seen them do in one set. Handshake Drugs, At Least That’s What You Said, Bird Without a Tail/Base of My Skull, the Many Worlds coda, and Spiders showcased the chops and cohesion of all three guitar players in the band. It was awesome. I loved it. The Cruel Country songs are all so good. There is not a whole lot to report other than that. My friends and I have been on a bit of a bender since we arrived here. Too much alcohol has already been consumed. It ended last night, but with sylly week, there is a chance round two starts tonight. God help me. I am being safe everyone, do not worry. I am a safe drinker. With that being said, it has been an endless stream of fun since I got here. I cannot wait to take this energy into the semester. Oh, and I am debating going to Ithaca to see Dinosaur Jr. on Friday. Should I do it? I am not crazy about going alone but maybe someone will be willing to come with me. The tickets are cheap! They are indie-rock LEGENDS. J Mascis is one of my favorite all-time guitarists. Grateful Eight:* I am grateful to be back at Syracuse after a long time away. You realize how much you love something when it is gone. That is a cliché, but certainly true.* I moved in half of my stuff about a month ago, so it made moving in not so terrible last week. I am happy I was able to fit all of my musical gear, so if creativity calls, I can confidently answer.* Sam is all moved into college and is doing really well. The adjustment is so tough, but he is killing it. Woo hoo.* Fresh garlic’s impact on taking home cooking to another level and increasing the taste of whatever you cook tenfold. * It is awesome to have seen Wilco somewhere not only off the beaten path but 20 minutes away from where I live up here. * My portable air conditioner. It is truly one of my favorite things in the world. As cold as the winters are, the summers in Syracuse are humid and scorching. It is not fun. It gets so hot, but last night I went to sleep and my room was a crisp 64.* Going to bars at school. I am a very sophisticated distinguished 21-year-old gentleman. I like to go to bars. I also like to see people from all over be it different sororities and fraternities or friends from school. Sometimes, it is limited who you can hang out with and frat parties.* Thank god we no longer have to wear masks in class anymore.This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: “You’ll Be Comin’ Down” by Bruce SpringsteenIt has been a while since I dropped a Bruce cover. This is the second track off Bruce’s 2007 album, Magic, which is my favorite Bruce album of the century. To my knowledge, this song has only been played once live. That seems wrong to me. I guess on the flip side, there are so many great songs on Magic that deserve to be played. I recorded this when I was locked up in the Sheraton sophomore year because I was exposed to COVID. It was around the time of the 2020 Presidential Election. This song was written presumably about the greedy millionaires and billionaires who have exploited and taken advantage of the working class, leading to a giant recession and hard times in the United States. I think this song was also written about George Bush specifically. It does not to be stated what Mr. Springsteen thinks about that guy. Anyway, this is an angry song and I thought that the lyrics applied to the Republican candidate in the 2020 election almost to an absolute tee. I think it is underrated. It has a nice sax solo from Clarence, which I have whistled here. The only thing I think is that it is a bit overproduced, as is much of the Magic record. It does not take away from the writing though. The lyrics on this album are impeccable, thoughtful, and extremely sticky. He is a genius what can I say? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

The past couple of weeks has been exciting for me. First of all, two brand new songs have emerged since we have last spoken; and they are called “Blood You Draw” and the second one is called ummm…..well…….I don’t have a name for it yet. We will get to that later because *spoiler alert* our Mnemonic Advice recording for the column is that song. Anyway, I had a show at Bowery Electric. It was a long day running through the set in Chance’s basement to warm up, trekking to the East Side of Manhattan, loading in at 5:30, killing 4 hours, and then blowing the roof off the place with a performance for….like 10 people. I am not kidding when I say I would not want it any other way. I don’t know if I can speak for the band though. Any opportunity I get to share my livelihood with people is an opportunity that I will take. Maybe I will play the first show on Mars. I hear Martians are avid Stereogum readers and are really into indie rock music. Jokes aside, the show went well. We played a 40-minute set as a four-piece band that was almost the same as our Delancey set but I switched around the order of a few songs, and we closed with the aforementioned “Blood You Draw.” That song is going to be hanging out in the setlist for a while because it is one of the most energetic rockers that I have written, but it may go nicely as an opener. (Come to a show and hear it!) It ends on a C chord, and the four chord in the key of C is F which also happens to be the five chord in the key of B flat. So now we are in B flat, the key of “Next Time” (the current opener which will move to the second song), and we will hit an E flat chord, which is the four chord of B flat which leads us right into resolving the whole turn-around on the tonic chord, which is you guessed it! B flat! And what key is the opening riff to “Next Time” in? B flat! See, knowing rudimentary music theory can help you sometimes but not enough, so I have to flex my knowledge when I use it. Sorry if I lost you. I am just super excited and nerding out over creating my live show. It is all I think about. I know that there are some big shows around the corner at the indie music mecca, Syracuse, New York, so these are things to think about. I always say that the bands that make it are the ones that are more thoughtful. They might not be better players, but if you think damn hard about how you want your band to come across through a live show, it is immediate audience connectivity because with thought comes genuine authenticity. You got to be yourself on steroids. Yourself is probably not cool enough, but it gets you 80% of the way there. It is a ‘magic trick’ as (ugh every single newsletter with this guy, enough Josh) Bruce says in his book. The other thing is that most bands don’t like to rehearse. My band and I love rehearsing. You have to love rehearsing to truly put on an amazing live show. I have to be honest, if you hate rehearsing, your band probably sucks. I am not speaking like I have figured the whole thing out because I obviously have not. I just have had the privilege of seeing a s**t ton of live music in my life so far, and while enjoying it (or not enjoying it) I am studying as if it is a lecture in a class. What is good about this that I can incorporate into my act? What sucks about this is that I need to make sure that I don’t replicate in my act? Live music is an art form. The art form can range from the larger-than-life aesthetics and theatrical presentation of a The Weeknd stadium show to The Replacements playing Maxwell’s while drunk off their ass as Paul Westerberg belligerently ‘sings’ “B******s of Young”. Both work. Both have endeared themselves to fans in the country and around the world. Both are authentic!I saw Courtney Barnett at Radio City Music Hall last week which was a lot of fun. It was my third time seeing Courtney; the first time being four years ago, which is almost impossible to believe. The first two times I saw her, it was outdoors. Live music indoors is typically better in my opinion, and the lights and stage design added a lot to the performance. Courtney is a rock star and a punk at that. The dichotomy between her timid, soft-spoken introductions and “thank yous” and her aggressive guitar playing and rock-godlike stage presence during the songs never gets old. She played one of my favorite of her songs “An Illustration of Loneliness (Sleepless in New York)” for the first time in a long time. I have paraphrased the riff in that song a few times and I just love the lyrics so much. Imagine hearing this for the first time:I lay awake at four, staring at the wallCounting all the cracks backwards in my best FrenchReminds me of a book I skim-read in a surgeryAll about palmistry, I wonder what's in store for meI pretend the plaster is the skin on my palmsAnd the cracks are representative of what is going onI lose a breath, my love-line seems intertwined with deathIt shocked me. It has such creative imagery that I could only dream of having with my own writing. It also has such perfect rhythm like spoken poetry. Talent. Talent. Talent. Her band is great too. I love Dave Mudie on drums. As the biggest guitar player, non-drummer drum-aficianado, I can hear so much Ringo Starr in his playing, along with a lot of Dave Grohl who takes a lot of influence from Ringo. The simple but hard-hitting melodic playing brings such a fullness to the three-piece arrangement. He comes up with parts on songs that are so catchy and just not how other drummers would approach Courtney’s songs. I know. I have nerded out a lot about music this column, but I get to talk about whatever I want! Don’t forget that is how this works :)Grateful Eight:* I moved some of my stuff in to my new apartment in Syracuse yesterday. Despite not having electricity on one side of the room, my room is already looking pretty homey. I am happy that I do not have that much more to take up here in August.* I am going down the shore tomorrow. Going to the beach and hanging out with my friends is possibly the best part of summer. What is it about sand and the ocean that makes people so happy? I am excited to unwind after a fairly busy week.* Harmonicas are so fun. More on this later.* I mentioned the Syracuse shows that I have on the calendar. One of them is at the Westcott Theater for Bloomfest and I get to share the bill with some talented people which is awesome. I am grateful I get such a cool gig. I am also going on first so I get to play the first set of the semester.* Friend of the program, Nick Beebower. This man plays in like 5 bands at school, and I am grateful that he is dedicated to all of them. He can just show up and drum, but he is cooler than that. Plus, he got me/us the gig at the Westcott. * The A/C in my apartment at school. It is the greatest invention ever. It is cooler in my room here than at home. Ungrateful we only have one vent or some s**t like that at home.* Acropolis is now Popeyes.* Teens of Denial by Car Seat Headrest. This album changed my life. It gave me so much inspiration and comfort in high school. I did not know rock could sound like it does on Teens of Denial. It takes so many classic rock nods, but it is so fresh and the lyrics are so relatable. I thought I related to them when I was 15 and I am sure I did, but listening again at 21, now I really get it. The album is about being in your twenties and learning how to be on your own and also how to be happy. It chronicles f**k-ups along the way with the critical lessons attached.This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: untitledThis is a country song that I wrote only last week. I think a lot of my peers feel a sense of disillusionment as we come of age and transition into true adulthood. I know I do at least. I feel forced to ponder my values and think about compromises and sacrifices that I am willing to make, and ones that I am not willing to make. It is scary. I am not exactly going to be a factory worker with the education and guidance that I have been fortunate enough to receive, but I fear being the guy in “The Promised Land”. “I’ve done my best to live the right way/I get up everyone morning and go to work each day/But your eyes go blind and your blood runs cold/sometimes I feel so week I just want to explode.” Am I overreacting? Probably. However, I do fear being stuck in a lane or a job that does not feel rewarding for any other reason that it pays well. First world problems. Let me be crystal clear about that. Nonetheless, that’s 21 year-old Josh’s fear. Maybe that fear goes away if I marry and have children which is apart of my life plan. I know that once you have a family, it is meant to be the centerpiece of your life. For me, that is the case right now with my parents and brother. Yet, that is a little further down the road and does not necessarily help with choosing what I want to do for work right now. I am yet to find something fulfilling in my experience. I have been lucky to be a person who is able to just figure it out despite sometimes it being the hard way. I have hope and confidence that I am going to be fine, but I just have to explore more of myself and more alleyways to get there. Nothing in life is easy. I also talk about how in my heart and soul, I want to be an artist. It is what I am by far the best at, and it is the most enjoyable thing that I do, which I know everyone here knows. It is not the most lucrative career path, and it is hard to make a living being a musician. I have to try because I will live in regret if I do not. There is just a little bit of anxiety that I have where I question if I will be truly happy in any job that is not playing music. Certainly, I will always be able to express my creativity and my music somehow someway, so that is comforting. But what do I like? What else am I good at? This song also features myself playing slide guitar and blues harmonica. These are two musical skills that are relatively new to me. For a while, I always valued songwriting a lot more than musicianship, and I pretty much still do, but becoming a better musician is so fun and rewarding. It is also a little bit of a “Hey! Look what I can do!” type thing that, come on artists, let’s face it, we all think like that sometimes. Oh! And help me with a name to this track!untitled When you’re young Your dad and momSay be a kid because you can’t for longBut I’m looking up at themWanting something of my own Now in the land of milk and honeyI’m feeling all aloneI used to rest my chinOn the ladder rungMy eyes staring up to the shining sunBright and bushy tailed Legs too short to climb Everybody’s got a place But I’m not sure of mine Do you like what you do?Do you like your job?Do you like coming home And drinking in the garage?Can you call it a vice If it makes you feel at homeThere’s just too little time and too much land to roamI swear if I had a guitarAnd baby nothing elseI would be just fine entertaining myselfPlaying to the void trying to feel some returnWell if the world gives me money I can just keep going This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

Hello everyone. Thank you for patiently waiting for another edition of Breaker’s Point to drop. Sorry that it has been over a week now. With that being said, I have a lot to cover and I will start by telling you how my first New York City gig went! To refresh your memory, my band Mnemonic Advice played the Delancey on the Lower East Side of Manhattan on June 30th, and I am happy to report that we nailed it. The band sounded amazing coming out of a real PA and sound system, with our instruments mic’d and being controlled from the soundboard. For house shows at Syracuse as well as other places we have played, a state-of-the-art sound system is not exactly necessary for the inherent grunginess and raucousness of those gigs; but damn, everyone really got to hear the band the way that they are meant to hear it at the Delancey, which was much to the delight of myself and the audience. We played a 40-minute set with six of my originals and two covers including the 1984 summer smash-hit “The Boys of Summer.” I kind of pulled that one out of my ass. It is funny because I am a well-known hater of The Eagles, but this is just a solo Don Henley tune, and the music was written by Heartbreaker, Mike Campbell. I am not a big fan of pandering to an audience. I like to challenge my audiences and play a style of rock and roll that they may not be used to hearing. I have gained confidence in my original stuff to feel comfortable with it making up the majority of my sets. However, you have to throw a dog a bone sometimes and if I can make a huge hit like that authentic to myself and my band, I sure as hell will do it. Man, it was a fun song. Keep an eye out on my Instagram (@mnemonicadvice) to see some awesome photos and videos that were taken at the show. Mnemonic Advice’s Manhattan tour continues! We have another gig at Bowery Electric in the East Village. If you did not get a chance to come to the Delancey, or you came to the Delancey and want more, check us out there on 7/18. Less than a week, I know. It is going to be a great show though. We have some special stuff that we are going to play, which we did not play last gig. I went to the Mets game this past Saturday. My family got my dad tickets for Father’s Day because his all-time favorite Met, Keith Hernandez was finally getting his number retired. Keith means a lot to Mets fans as he took the team out of the dumps and won the last World Series the Mets have won in 1986. He was named captain of the Mets and led by example with his charisma and his dedication to playing the game the right way. He also has been a beloved Mets broadcaster since 2006. It is safe to say that Mets fans adore him. The ceremony was awesome and Citi Field was full and energetic which carried into the game. It was a crazy one. The Mets both tied the game in the bottom of the tenth and won in the bottom of the tenth off of two Marlins errors. It was my first time seeing a walk-off win in person, and it was just a day filled with unbridled joy for my family. When all four members are in the highest of spirits, there is really nothing better. Grateful Eight* Sports. Although I am a music guy, sports are so important to my life. It is another way to express the unchecked passion flowing through me. I am competitive with not a lot of outlets to demonstrate it. Leisurely playing (I am not athletic for anything beyond that) and watching sports allows me to tap into my competitive side and they create a bond between me and my friends and me and the other ten other Carus men and three Rich men.* Bruce announced a US tour today. For the next year or so, I am dedicating my life and my disposable income (that’s a joke, laugh) to seeing him live as many times as possible. If I take a road trip from Cuse, does anyone want to come? * As an up-and-coming singer-songwriter, it is hard to find a dedicated band that is not composed of just musicians doing a favor for you. I have a band right now that I believe shares my passion for performing and performing my songs at that. They are in tune with my vision and trust me to express it. That is sort of priceless.* Everyone who came out to the show at the Delancey.* NYC Bagels. New Jersey bagels are good, but the best bagel in my town is average. The average bagel in the city is good. So good = great. Great = impeccable. Impeccable = divine. And so on and so forth. * Better Call Saul. We are into the last half dozen episodes of this phenomenal show. Last night was the best episode of TV I think I have ever seen. Over the course of six seasons, is a bit of a slow burn, but it does more than pay off. The writing, the directing, and the acting are all so quality and authentic. It is a beautiful piece of art.* The beach. * The opportunity to play more shows. This Week’s Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Rare Recording: I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues (Elton John)I have always liked this Elton song. It kind of just popped in my head the other day, and I thought that it would be cool to do a cover. The lyrics strangely resonate a lot with what is happening in my life. I had never analyzed them or paid attention too much to them, so it was a little freaky that it just popped in like that. It is a rough version, but I do not really care. I think it is fun to show you something raw like this. Maybe you are able to hear the authenticity through the lack of polish. I trust all of you and I am comfortable enough to show you some mistakes. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

We're sick and tired of your ism-schism gameDy'n' and go to Heaven in-a Jesus' name, LordWe know when we understandAlmighty God is a living manYou can fool some people sometimesBut you can't fool all the people all the timeSo now we see the light We gonna stand up for our rights - Bob MarleyI love words, and I love talking, and I love writing, but sometimes I have way too much to say and way too much to write. It is overwhelming. At some point in processing all of my emotions and attempting to sum them up in some kind of digestible way, I reach a mental roadblock. That is where I turn to music. I find it much easier and perhaps more individually meaningful to express myself in song. That is why not only am I a songwriter, I am simply just a general lover of music. This is nothing new. Why am I saying this? I have so much to say about the overturning of Roe v. Wade and it is putting my mind in the situation that I have described. There is not much that I can say that has not already been said. This decision is not only an attack on all women, but racism rears its ugly head again as it is an attack on BIPOC communities and people with lower income in this country. Anybody who is paying attention knows this. The call to action here lies in the Bob Marley song above. As for me; this is my newsletter so I guess I have to give my personal take on this matter and write about it from a personal standpoint. This is where music comes in. The truth is that I have no editorial. I do have money to donate to abortion funds that will help the people most directly impacted by this. The other thing I have is my voice and my privilege, and the only way that I feel I am able to communicate my feelings and my initiative is by singing about it. Music also brings joy. I think it is imperative to have some semblance of that, and to remind yourself that it is okay to be happy in this armageddon. I am not saying that singing takes the nationwide pain away, but music is definitely something to lean on. I will talk a little bit more about this in the section where I discuss this week’s song. It is difficult to segway out of that, but on the topic of joy and music, I would like to remind everyone that I am playing my first New York City show on Thursday at The Delancey in Manhattan. I am so excited, and I am looking forward to giving people and myself the great time that we all so desperately need. It is going a hell of a night, and you are going to want to be a part of it. I have created a setlist that I feel not only highlights all the layers of my artistry but the immense talent of the musicians in my band. I cannot thank all of them enough for sharing their talents with me.I also just bought tickets to the Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes show on Saturday. Look, I like Southside, but I am there for one reason, and it is the possible guest appearance of the man who gave Southside Johnny his name (and wrote many of his songs). I think he will show up. This is his adopted hometown and a good friend with who he has been known to sit in with many times before. He was just in London for his equestrian daughter’s competition. That is over, and where would he rather be the weekend before the 4th of July other than the ol’ jersey shore? He could literally come onstage for two minutes, belch in the mic, and leave the stage and it would be worth the price of admission just to be in his presence after four years. Seeing him would give me possibly enough life to last me until the first leg of the 2023 US tour. Grateful Eight:* I just mentioned to my family that one thing I treasure is when Sam sings or hums along to a Bruce song without deliberately doing it for the benefit of anyone else. He did it the other day with Murder Incorporated. I know there is no way he could not know at least 100 Bruce songs in my family, but most of the time you would have no idea.* New guitar strings. Quick story: I thought my guitar’s intonation was all out of wack and that the bridge saddles need to be fixed, so I called Bill at Dave’s Sound. He asked me how long it has been since I have changed the strings. I could not even remember, and he told me that if the strings were shot the intonation is going to be terrible and if you change your strings, the intonation will likely be perfect. And it was. That was embarrassing, but I changed the strings and now the thing is playing and sounding better than ever. Who knew?* My own money. The thing with the music industry and many industries for that matter is that they do not pay their interns. I need money badly and cannot be strictly relying on my parents anymore for going out and all other college person activities. (That sounds super suspicious, but it is not I promise you.) I got a job delivering pizzas and in three shifts I have been racking in the dough. Lol.* Jeff McNeil. The guy is an unbelievable baseball player. The lineup is missing him severely right now and I hope that after this off day he will be back in it. I also love his grit. We have a gritty team over there in Flushing.* That no one gave me s**t that there was no newsletter last week. Sorry!* My friends and I in Kd (if you don’t know what that is do better) have been utilizing voice messaging and it is absolutely hilarious. Grateful for voice messaging, shoutout Tim Cook for that feature.* Robert Knott Jr.* The blues, my friend. There ain’t nothing better.This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: The Pill by Loretta LynnIn light of the strike down of all the human rights that have come from the overturning of Roe v. Wade, I covered this Loretta Lynn song about birth control. This song came out in 1975 around the time that birth control pills were introduced as a means of contraception. It marked the dawn of women taking control of their own bodies and reproductive rights. It must have gone over well with the public right? Wrong, of course. It was met with dismay by country music radio stations that refused to play it and her record label did not let her release it for three years. It was actually recorded in 1972. Of course, there were many country hits at the time about sex written and recorded by male artists. It is also apropos to mention that sexism within country music exists just as much today. It is so much harder for them to break through and write about topics that simply should not be taboo for them. “The Pill” did become massively popular though and introduced the birth control pill to many lower-income areas or parts of the country that were either unfamiliar with or unable to attain this contraceptive. I do not know how this song is going to sound from the voice of a straight white male, but I hope you like it. It is an important song that broke barriers and hits the nail on the head with each verse as they cultivate an anthem for women. Man, does it feel depressing that the context around this song is not so different from what we are experiencing now. I also really like this era of country music. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

TGIF, right? I have a lot to report so I will get right to it. My show last Friday went really great, in spite of encountering adversity when keyboardist, Chance Mazzo came down with a double ear infection and a fever the day of the show. We were already without Matty, which took us from a five-piece band to a four-piece band. Then, lo and behold, we became a trio with me on guitar and vocals, Jack Motherway on drums, and Xander Haselman playing some wicked bass, which was the key to this performance. I had not performed as a trio since the talent show at sleepaway camp when I was about 13. It gave me an opportunity to showcase my punk sensibilities as we played every song 25% faster than the tempo on the recordings. I also played many guitar solos, most of which I usually delegate to Matty or even Chance to play on the keyboard, but it was fun to play it myself. When you have amazing musicians like Matty and Chance, it is hard to justify calling your own number; but I do plan on doing that more. I was going to do a version of my song, “Unparalleled” with just Chance playing the piano and myself singing, but with Chance sick, I swapped it for the live debut of a song I wrote called “Over Yonder, in the Woods.” I played it by myself and it seemed like the audience liked it. It is always a funny thing to announce that I am going to play a brand new song during a show because most of my songs are brand new to the audience. However, I like to believe it makes the audience feel special and that it makes the audience listen maybe a little more closely than they would have. That could be off though. We also were going to do a cover of The J. Geils Band’s “Must of Got Lost” (which I just love the incorrect grammar, very rock n roll), but it was pretty heavy on piano so we went with a version of The Who’s “The Seeker”, a personal favorite Who song of mine. It was a fun show and warmed us up for our set at The Delancey on the Lower East Side of Manhattan on Thursday 6/30. Mnemonic Advice cannot wait to see you there!I saw Phoebe Bridgers at Prospect Park in Brooklyn on Tuesday. When I was in high school and at the beginning of college, I was so obsessed with Phoebe’s music. It is infectious and her voice and delivery of her brilliant lyrics find their way right to your heart. With that being said, she does not have a lot of music out and I think I played her music to death years ago, to the point where I got sick of it. Phoebe grew massively in popularity in the time since, and I am so happy for her, but her new obsessive fanbase turned me off. I acknowledge that this is a ridiculous thing to say because not only is it not fair to Phoebe, I happen to be the most obsessive Bruce Springsteen and Wilco fan on the planet. I guess it has been a realization that people like me are really annoying. Anyway, I had not played either of her albums for about a year leading up to the show; not for any particular reason other than I wore them out a bit. It made Phoebe’s music feel fresh and lively to me at the show, and I remembered why I loved her so much in the first place. The reason is she is a beautiful singer, a sharp and clever songwriter, and a cool-ass person! Her live performance exceeded my expectations, and it was just a really fun night. By the way, the subtitle of the column today is a Phoebe lyric. I have no idea what it means, but it sounds pretty cool and catchy.Grateful Eight:* I am grateful that my friends come to my shows. I definitely push them, but I have been to so many of their games in high school. Fair enough, right?* My friend and drummer, Nick sent me a Snapchat yesterday of him playing my song “Living a Myth” on his way to the Dodgers game, which was really cool and nice of him. It is amazing to have actual proof that people like my music. * Last summer I choked at Cava. I had Cava yesterday for the first time since and I did not choke, so that was pretty cool.* Mexican rice. I love all types of rice be it Chinese or Indian or sushi or Mediterranean or even a risotto, but Mexican rice hits like none other. * I found this band on TikTok called Thumpasaurus. You have to check them out, it is the goofiest most ridiculous thing I have ever seen but I am obsessed with it. I cannot watch it without smiling. YouTube “I’m Too Funky.”* I have been having a lot of writing inspiration recently. It often happens after I see a concert.* Most of my seasonal allergies are gone, so now it is just Henry that is affecting me, but I can handle that. * New Bartees Strange album out today. I need to listen!This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: “Living a Myth”This is a major one. It seems to be a song of mine that people really love. I really like it too because I poured a lot of my heart into it to give myself some perspective if and when I am struggling. It is about coming to terms with the possibility that your idea of yourself and other people is inaccurate. Maybe it seems accurate to you, but everyone else may not see it that way. Does that make sense? The other thing it deals with is trying to accept help, which I think we condition ourselves not to do. Do not get me wrong, it is critical in life to be able to problem-solve and grow on your own, but you need to listen to people who have your best interest in mind. Ditch the skepticism when it pertains to people that you know are there for you. Musicwise, I like that the song is a short, rigid in structure, and a catchy two-and-a-half minutes long with no frills. It bursts through the door and then it’s gone. I originally recorded this song as a group project for my music production class about a year ago. That version was cool, but I realized I really do not like the way it turned out at all. We got a little too fancy with it. I re-recorded it recently as a demo, which is what is linked here.“Living a Myth”Sit down, you’re drunkAnd you don’t know what you areThe world in you periphery will only get you so farClose your eyes, tunnel visualize the road you’re onMonsters lurk beside you giving you toxic perception‘Cause if you’re not as sad as all of themThen you’ve attained perfectionThere’s an easy way to ease all painBut pain is an urchin, pain is certain, so let it inMaybe you’re something else to begin withMaybe you’re living a myth Calm down you’re fuckedBut fucked is all you areThey say changing your brain can give you everything you’re notAnd you can rest like Buddha in the lion’s den of thoughtAfter years of playing tricks Your mind clears and leaves you lackingAnd you learn to surf among the wavesAnd feelings have no backingThere’s a wave in you deluged in truthComes crashing like The CometYou just want to cry and vomit, need some reliefMaybe you’re something else to begin withMaybe you’re living a myth You won’t lie to yourself againThe choices that you make deliver pain when you’re awakeMaybe you’re something else to begin withMaybe you’re living a myth This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

Oh man, just typing that subtitle made me want to spin some Hendrix. Hendrix is one of those artists that every single generation can and will appreciate. If you ask any human in the world who the best guitarist of all time is, I am willing to wager that 75% of people will say Jimi Hendrix. I think that is awesome. It is also true. Mind you the greatest guitarist of all time and my favorite guitarists of all time are two different lists but Hendrix overlaps. Also, emphasis on ‘greatest’ and not ‘best’. Two entirely different adjectives.Anyway, hello. Welcome back here. I am sorry that this is coming out so late. I actually sat down to write it on Monday but had absolutely nothing to say. Then I started my internship and whatnot. Whatever. Here is number thirteen. But yeah, I started my internship at Primary Wave music; a music publishing and management company near Union Square. This seems like it is going to be a fun internship that will yield rewarding knowledge. Primary Wave’s business intersects with a lot of the music industry work that I am interested in. They own dozens of famous catalogs from James Brown to Devo to Bob Marley to Smokey Robinson to Sly and the Family Stone; the list goes on. I am interested in finding ways to connect people who are my age with this classic, seminal music. I think it is highly possible because great music stands the test of time. It is just not as in-your-face as today’s music because it is easy to market an artist who is more recent and currently active. However, this Kate Bush phenomenon fills me with a lot of hope. For those who have not been following, the show Stranger Things (really popular with my demographic) used Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)” in a pivotal scene, and as a result, it has skyrocketed back to the top of the charts. It has landed at #8 on the US Billboard Charts and #6 in the UK. Gen Z discovering the wonderful pop music of Kate Bush was not on my 2022 bingo board, but I am elated that this is happening. I told Abby who is always in tune with what music is viral at any given moment, that the song was from 1985 and she had not even realized that. It goes to show how influential that era of music still is; so much so that it can sit in the Billboard Top Ten without sticking out like a sore thumb. Suffice it to say, I am looking forward to making content for these legendary artists from Primary Wave. Let’s see if we can get “Whip It” back into the Top Ten. Although, that specific song might be a bit anachronistic. Maybe not though! It is fun and catchy as hell. I would like to remind everyone that I have a show at Redhouse in Boonton, NJ today. I will link the website to purchase tickets at the end of this newsletter. It is going to be an awesome night. I go on at 8:15 and I will play for a half-hour. The band sounds really tight and everyone is having a lot of fun with this set. I have noticed in rehearsals that there has been a lot of smiling going on. People do not smile enough anymore on stage. That honestly used to be me, but showing your overt happiness is contagious and important. I want to bring the old-school energy of a rock show without any gimmicks or cliches. I get irritated sometimes when current artists/bands create somewhat of a mockery of their performance to be tongue-in-cheek or ironic; like going back-to-back with the lead guitarist or coordinating really dumb moves or routines during certain songs that come off to me as a heaping pile of cringe. I want to feel the authenticity in a live performance. Authenticity is my biggest value when it comes to writing, recording, and performing music. I want to believe you. It is something I think of as I meticulously create setlists, determine myself and the players’ positioning onstage, tweak the sound of the drums and guitars, choose the attire that I wear (I am team Keep Your Shirt On 2022), how the songs are counted off, the jokes, banter, and sometimes serious PSAs that I will make during a set, the manner of which I f*****g walk onstage and grab my guitar at the beginning of the set. I am extremely calculated with the way I present myself, my music, and my band. I think you absolutely have to be or you can become a parody of yourself or a deer in headlights. The trick is to make it all look spontaneous without deceiving the audience. The truth is my pragmatism allows me to be spontaneous and just enjoy myself without second-guessing a single thing that happens on that stage—it has all been premeditated. Don’t get it twisted, I don’t plan everything, and obviously, shows do not always go the way you expect them to go. However, as Julie Chen-Moonves says, expect the unexpected. Vision and preparation put you in the position to do that, and be unphased by anything that happens during the set. I kind of learned about my stubbornness in Montville School of Rock where I would have a very clear and specific idea of how a song should be presented, and how it should sound, and I hated compromising that. It sucked the fun out of it for me sometimes. I think that is part of the reason why things ended the way they did for me there, and I take accountability for any disrespect or negative ego that I showed to people who were not on the same page as me. On the flip side, Montville School of Rock taught me how to be in a band which is also extremely important. Of course, there are going to be compromises because that is pretty much a part of life. You have to meet these compromises with grace. However, it is important to have an idea of what you are NOT willing to compromise. Alright, I have been rambling but I love talking about this stuff. Concerts make me feel exorbitant amounts of joy; joy that I want to replicate when it is me on the stage. I think about it too much though.Grateful Eight:* Meatballs* My band is so easy to work with and on the ball. That is not always the case.* Iced cold Cherry Coke Zero* I am grateful to live in a state with stricter gun laws, so I only have to fear for my life a little bit from day to day. I cannot imagine how fearful people feel in states with virtually no gun laws. Not to get super fear-mongering, but what reason does anyone have to be confident that they are not next when they go to school or work or the supermarket or a nightclub? What more can I say that has not already been said? I remain hopeless, but that does not mean I am not going to speak my mind and help the situation. * I am grateful that I get to go to the city twice every week for my internship. I have always loved New York and now I have a reason to go often.* You people still read my rambling on these things. Some of you even look forward to it! Why?* Detroit Medley. Bruce needs to bring that one back even if it is only five minutes and not fifteen. The old versions are the best though.* Exile on Main Street. I love Mick Taylor era Stones the best for sure and this album is everything a rock album should be and nothing it is not. There are few more fun albums out there.This Week’s Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Rare Recording: Unkind is KindThis is my newest song. I wrote it last week. It is a good song to play by myself with harmonica and acoustic guitar but it also has the potential to rock. I had fun writing these lyrics because I think they evoke mystery. I am not even sure if I know what I am talking about, but it feels right. It is not nonsense, I tried to incorporate imagery and metaphor, but it leaves the listener to interpret it in his or her own way. Although I usually am very clear and direct with my lyrics, I think lyrics are more about capturing a feeling rather than a definitive meaning. That is all I really have to say about this one. It is young and I am still processing it. Sometimes the songs explain themselves to me once they marinate.“Unkind is Kind”My radio is tuned to fear I got nothing but static around hereJust as a deer skitters cross the roadI took a gamble like the butt of the jokeThe universe turned away my tokeAnd settled for hearing every word I spokeBut I speak my mindTry to be someone someone gets behindBut I’m not like that all the timeI’ve got my reasons for being unkind Unkind is kind to myself sometimesUnkind is kind to the signal inside Unkind is kind as kind is kindI got electric situational liesI’m telling you now so you aren’t surprisedWhen I tune you to a basket of loveI can neglect and orbit above The universe shot me dead at birthTo compensate for the Earth’s net worthBut are we even? I wish I could sayAre we even closer than further awayBut I speak my mindTry to be someone that can toe the lineBetween me and myself in a bindTwisted with the wire so unkindUnkind is kind to myself sometimesUnkind is kind to the signal insideUnkind is kind to how you can defineUnkind is kind as kind is kindOh I speak my mindMelting in the moonlightAs a deer skitters byI don’t think that I’ve got the means tryUnkind is kind to myself sometimesUnkind is kind to the signal insideUnkind is kind to how you can defineUnkind is kind as kind is kindwww.eventbrite.com/e/gin-war-mnemonic-advice-society-hill-tickets-354613296917 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

Welcome to the first Wednesday Breaker’s Point! I am sorry that I am so late with this one, but Monday was a holiday, so give me some slack there. As for Tuesday, well, I was busy. This is a jam-packed newsletter today because I have a lot to write about. First, I would like to announce that I will be playing a show at Redhouse in Boonton on Friday, June 10th. It is my first show since I believe my last fall semester, and I am so excited about it. I am going with a four-piece this time around as Matty cannot make the show. I also have Xander Haselman, a new character in the Mnemonic Advice world, on bass with me for this show. I have never played with him, but I am excited to as he is a great musician. I always have fun playing at Redhouse, and it is a room that I am not only comfortable in but has felt like a home for my music over the last several years. I want to thank Adri for always finding a slot for me. I am going to do something special for this great audience, which presumably will mostly consist of my real ride-or-die fans; even if they are really just my relatives and friends. I encourage all of my readers to come. I also have another big show announcement that is still in the works, so I do not want to spill the beans now but stay tuned.I was at Wilco’s Solid Sound festival last weekend. It did not disappoint at all, and if you do not mind, I would love to tell you about it. The lineup featured a lot of amazing artists over the three days. I came into Friday, not a huge Sylvan Esso fan but their set was fun, and the danceable beats and synths sounded punchy and energetic coming out of the PA on Joe’s Field. There were a handful of awesome sets on Saturday including Sam Evian, who I have been a fan of for some time now. He is an amazing songwriter and multi-instrumentalist, as well as a producer for some big names, namely Big Thief. I have heard saxophone on his recordings, but I never knew that he was the one playing it. Hand Habits was also great. Meg Duffy is the frontperson in that band and their signature guitar style and tone set them apart from many of their indie folk-rock peers. Japanese Breakfast opened for Wilco on Saturday, and they really won me over. I loved their album Soft Sounds From Another Planet, but I was not totally in love with their most recent album Jubilee despite it getting high praise from industry normies. That typically happens. The more mainstream media and fans are usually an album late to the party. However, the songs sounded amazing live and Michelle Zauner is a real professional frontwoman. Many indie rockers struggle with commanding the stage in a club, let alone a festival, but Michelle worked the crowd with ease in between funny quips about how much she has stolen from her favorite band, Wilco. In fact, at the end of her set, the virtuosic Wilco lead-guitarist, Nels Cline came out and ripped a face-melting three-minute solo that had the festival grounds in orbit. I think I saw his feet levitating above the ground. That brings me to Wilco. They debuted their brand-new album Cruel Country, a 77-minute 21-track country-inspired epic. I mentioned last week that the band had given Solid Sound ticket holders a code to download the album early. I had listened to the album about three times leading up to the show. I enjoyed it marginally with each listen, and the live performance cemented it for me, as an instant classic in the Wilco catalog. The band was clearly prepared and it might have been towards the upper-echelon of Wilco concerts that I have been to. I am not ordinarily a very spiritual person, but once in a while at concerts, I feel a spiritual power. I really do. It makes me believe in the universe. It feels like there are three energies at the show; the band, the audience, and the larger force that they manufacture together. It is not like I do not enjoy myself when I do not feel this, for example, the second night was an incredible show but the spiritual feeling was not there. It was the first night though. It was clear that Jeff Tweedy was elated to be back at Solid Sound and playing material that he felt super connected to and proud of. The band was locked in too. It was an epic night that will go down in Wilco history. I think I saw Jeff wiping tears as he left the stage. It was so special. The second night was amazing as well. Wilco played four out of what may be my top five to ten songs of theirs. Michelle Zauner sang a great rendition of “Jesus etc.'“ The next day, Jeff Tweedy closed out the festival with his solo band. He brought up David Byrne for the last song which was a total exciting surprise. I just love Jeff and Wilco. It is amazing that older acts such as David Byrne have such a reverence for them. However, it is even cooler how much praise and respect Wilco gets from the current indie music scene. This is not only because their music is so influential, but also because Jeff makes it his duty to mentor younger artists in the way he wishes he was when he was younger. Ugh, he is just the best.Grateful Eight* Cruel Country* The New York Rangers are going to the Eastern Conference Finals! I cannot pretend to have predicted this.* The Mets are currently 10 games up in first place in the NL East. It is hard for me to come to grips with the fact that this team may actually be good. The Jury is still out though. I am much too battered.* Spending quality time with my dad at Solid Sound. It was also fun to be an honorary member of his wacky crew. * The Broccoli Bar at Solid Sound. It is nuts they give you broccoli cooked in three different ways with rice and pickled vegetables. It is so delicious. I am a big broccoli guy, but it has no business being THAT good.* I got an internship!* The opportunity to play music in front of people for the first time in a while. * Henry sat with me today as I played acoustic guitar. It felt special.This Week’s Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Rare Recording: “Tired of Taking It Out on You.”I did promise a reader that this week’s song would be an original, but I am sorry it is a cover once again. There definitely will be an original included next week. But this week I wanted to sing a song off of Cruel Country. I tried a handful of my favorite songs from the record, but this one suited my voice the best (even as I battled some allergies to sing it). I love the line “Freeze my warmth away, tear the tears out of my quiet face”. The lyrics to this song are just so amazing and all the other ones from the album, to be honest. I usually do not include lyrics in the newsletter when I do a cover. These lyrics are so good and maybe a little more unfamiliar to my readers, so here they are; from the pen of Jefferey Scot Tweedy.I'm tired of taking it out on youTired of needing toFreeze my warmth awayTear the tears out of your quiet faceI can't face the way I am with youOr replace the bite I'm chewing throughOh, I'm tired of taking it out on youI crave crazy times againOur nights, our nights would never endI'm ashamed of who I amI'm in pain, so I striveTo the nearest starStreet light over an idling carMove across the seatI'm going to needYou to drive these last few miles'Cause I'm tired of taking it out on youOoh-oohOoh-oohFreeze my warmth awayTear the tears out of your quiet faceI can't take the way I am with youOr recreate things we used to doI'm tired of taking it out on youOoh-oohOoh-oohOoh-oohI'm tired of taking it out on you This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

It is happening. Ladies and gentlemen this is not a drill. Today Bruce Springsteen’s social media accounts posted a video with highlights from 2016’s The River tour with “Born in the USA” in the background. The end of the video said “May 24th, 2022 brucespringsteen.net.” Do you know what that means? That means that Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band will announce a tour tomorrow. I have not seen a Bruce concert (excluding Broadway which is beautiful but more a show than a concert) since 2016. I have been itching for it for so long and it seems like tomorrow I will at least know when I will be able to scratch the itch. Big things people. I also want to take a moment and thank people once again for reading these and reading them so intently week to week. It means a lot to me and to be honest, I did not expect it at all. But you guys seem to like it and I have fun writing it so we shall continue. It is funny; a lot of times I do not remember what I write here and someone will say something to me about my life or my thoughts and I am like “how in the world do you know that?” It is all good stuff though. I love all my readers, shoutout you. I have been home for over a week now and it is nice. I feel like I am recovering from abroad because while it was the greatest experience of my life, it ran me down. I have been working on tons of music and demoing all the songs that are in the pool for my next release. The hope is that I will be able to take these demos to a studio or a home studio or even a living room of a house (fantasy I have) with proper recording gear. I am writing new songs as well although, I do have a lot of songs, I feel something is missing and I do not have enough. I have never really run into this problem before; however, I am not so sure that it is a problem, just a slight dilemma. This upcoming weekend I am going to Solid Sound. I have said what that is here I am pretty sure, but if I have not, it is Wilco’s music festival at Mass MoCA. I am so excited. This is the first time I am seeing the band since the last Solid Sound festival in 2019. Plus, there are amazing other acts that I am excited to watch and listen to. Oh, and Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) is doing comedy there.Grateful Eight* Wilco. There are many reasons why I am grateful for Wilco, but here is the reason I will share right now. Wilco is coming out with an album on Friday, and premiering it at Solid Sound. The band sent all Solid Sound ticketholders a secret code to download the album early (for free!) to become familiar by the time they play. What other band does this?* Playoff hockey. Whenever I watch playoffs in any sport, I always think that the given sport is the greatest playoff sport out of the four major ones. Well…I actually do not really think this about the NBA, especially this season. Nonetheless, playoff hockey may mean it when I say it is the greatest playoff sport. Let’s go Rangers!* The Mets are…good?* The fact that my basement is not used enough by any other member of my family, so I have been able to turn it into a little bit of a studio.* Air Conditioning. Saturday was a hot one, wasn’t it?* Bruce and the band getting out on the road again.* I wish I did not take advantage of European beer, because let me tell you I am grateful to have had it, and American beer kind of sucks in comparison.* Henry got groomed, so my allergies have been better. Also, the air filters. Knock on wood!This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town (Pearl Jam)I love Pearl Jam and I am so confused why they get a lot of hate sometimes. The songs are good, the players are good, the singer is good and Mike McCreedy is definitely the best lead guitarist from the grunge era. Sorry Jerry Cantrell, Sorry Kim Thayil. Eddie Vedder and I have a similar vocal range and so I tend to sound good when covering Pearl Jam’s stuff. This is a band I desperately need to see live. I do not have a whole lot to say about this one. However, since you guys are all so swell, I will be posting two more bonus Pearl Jam covers for you guys. It will be on my profile page. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

I am sorry. I know I promised one more European Breaker’s Point newsletter, and for that matter, a newsletter in general last week. I got busy! I mentioned here that I was going to Florence and Rome, and it turns out there is a lot to do in Florence and Rome, even if half of it is eating. It was an amazing trip to cap an amazing semester in Europe, exceeding all of my expectations. We saw everything there was to see in both cities and packed our days to the brim. From Il Duomo to Uffizi to the Tuscan Hills ( where we went on a morning wine tasting excursion…make sure you eat something before you go) to the Vatican, the Forum, St. Peter’s Basilica, Sant’Angelo Castle, it was amazing to see these state of the art landmarks and take in the culture of the country. I was honed in on culture in general throughout my time in Europe. London is a diverse city and very much a melting pot kind of like New York City, where the culture is shaped by the different backgrounds of the people who live there, while Italy was more homogenous as most people were all born in Italy. That lends itself to a strong tribal culture. I found myself having an inexplicable specific feeling in each of the places that I traveled to. I did not realize how much emotional weight that places positively inflict upon you.Well, now I am back in glorious Montville, NJ and while that is sarcasm, the spring weather has been beautiful since I have been home. It has been aiding in alleviating post-vacation depression. Now that I have had the vacation that I so desperately wished for in my music, it is time to get back to real life. I still need to figure out an internship for this summer, but it seems like that will be taken care of soon. At least, I really really hope so. I also need to find a way to make some money, because you know, that is important. I have some shows coming up that I will tell you guys more about later as the dates get finalized. I am focusing on making demos now for all the new songs that have come out in the last year or so. This is so I can have an idea of what they will sound like and so I can have a roadmap when it comes to teaching the band when we officially record these tracks. It is also so my band can easily learn the songs for the show. I have a lot of new songs, and it may be an undertaking to have my band learn them all, or at least most of them, so I am trying to make it as easy on them as possible. However, I also think some level of spontaneity is fun. It is good to rehearse and get tight as a band, but I have realized that audiences like something that is happening on stage that feels unique to that show or moment. I plan on learning a lot of covers that we can pull out as we feel like it. I always like closing shows with covers for some reason. I guess it is sort of a Bruce effect because he does that…what else is new? Sigh. But, Mnemonic Advice is coming back in a big way. Stay tuned!Grateful Eight* The spring weather! The sun is shining!* Nasal spray. Ok, so I am super allergic to my dog, and I have seasonal allergies and it has created an armageddon in my respiratory system. I consistently have a stuffy nose, but nasal spray is a miracle drug. Three shots in each nostril and I am breathing from my nose beautifully.* Eye drops. The armageddon is in my eyes too. Sometimes, I feel like I want to itch my eyes off of my face. * My guitar collection. I brought my telecaster to London because that is my go-to guitar, but now that I am home, I have been having fun playing my other ones because they deserve love too.* The Rangers! Hockey playoffs are like no other, and the Rangers are such a fun team to watch with all this young talent. Igoooorrrrrrr. Igoooooorrrr.* Playing shows. I think about playing shows most of every day. I like to form setlists, and then form B setlists, and then C setlists, and then D setlists and choose from there. It is a fun activity. I put so much thought into my live show. I need my audience to match the feeling I get from live music and the best artists in the business of it. * Real Iced Coffee; none of this “iced americano” b******t. Give me a cold brew. Please and thank you.* A large shower. You do not understand, our shower in London was like one of those capsule waterslide things; like when you stand in it and then the floor drops from under you. One of these things:It is impossible to wash without accidentally knocking into the shower handle, thus making the water temperature hot enough to cook pasta.This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: EvelynFor some reason, the name Evelyn spoke to me. It could be an effect from Jeff Tweedy’s song “Gwendolyn.” It was not an intentional copycat, but chances are it definitely influenced my interest in the name Evelyn. It is a nice little folk ditty. The song is basically about a character that my character in the song grew up with. She used to be beautiful, but the world has kind of dragged her down. She has suffered loss, stress, anxiety, and pressure to do something meaningful with her life. It is sad for my character to see her like this. In seeing her, my character learns that maybe the world has dragged him down just as much, despite not looking like it. I have been interested in the trope of opening your eyes as a vehicle for realization, both self-realization and the realization that maybe the world does not work like you think it does. The trope comes up in a few recent songs that I have written. I tried to have the imagery of what this Evelyn person looks like to tell the story. I have been trying to write with more imagery, that makes the lyrics meaningful but up for interpretation. This recording is from winter break. It features me trying my hand at slide guitar. I have a little work to do there, but it was fun. “Evelyn”I thought I saw EvelynAnd I don’t know how long it’s beenNow she’s got hair the color of sandAnd a cigarette in her left handShe used to be so hot and coldNow rust commands her heart of goldWith picket fence teeth and emerald eyesAnd a faded dress as gray as the skyEvelyn please my darlingLend me your piece of mindI know you used to love meBut then you opened up your eyesNow Evelyn you are so meanYou say it’s ‘cause of things you’ve seenBut things you’ve seen have come and goneAnd you just can’t figure out how to move onEvelyn please my darlingYou were the girl of the timeI know you used to love meBut then you opened up your eyes This is a public episode. 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This is the last Breaker’s Point that I will be writing in London. That is crazy to me. It has been one of those things where I feel like I have been here my whole life though it feels like this whole semester has absolutely flown by. I am upset to leave this place and for this experience to end. My friends and I call this abroad semester fake life. We will never have free reign of a city like this for three months with this few responsibilities and cares in the world. I feel like I made the most out of it, and I am leaving feeling as I got pretty much everything in that I wanted to. This is not the last Breaker’s Point that I will be writing in Europe though, as next week I will be Italy, taking a train from Florence to Rome. I have always wanted to go to Italy. It has been high up on my bucket list when it comes to traveling and vacationing. It is funny. My last album is called “Need a Vacation”, and boy have I gotten one. My next album might be called, “Need Some Structure.” Anyhow, I cannot wait to see all the sites in Italy and eat some of the greatest food that I will ever eat in my life. Oh, food. It is time to get into the gym when I get back from here. I visited Abbey Road Studios yesterday. It felt like a rite of passage as not only a music fan but a big Beatles fan. I listened to side one of Abbey Road on the way there and side two on the way back, which of course is the medley; one of my favorite pieces of music ever. You just cannot beat it. You are not allowed to go into the actual studio, but I walked across the road and got my picture taken, explored the Abbey Road shop, and wrote my name on the wall outside of the studio. Maybe it was because I listened to the album on the way there or maybe it is not, but it felt almost spiritual to be there. My religion is Rock and Roll and that was a pilgrimage that I needed to make. Last week’s entry was quite long, so I am going to make it short this week. I hope that’s okay with you. Grateful Eight* It bears repeating how grateful I am that I was able to have this experience, and then tack on an Italian vacation at the end. How were your last three months? * I am grateful for the new friends that I have made here. I now have good friends and those friends are people that I did not know before I came here. Shoutout to all of you. * Cruel Country. Wilco is coming out with a new double album of 21 songs. They announced that they will be debuting the album live on the first night of their Solid Sound festival. I will be in attendance (geez, another vacation?). It will be cool to be amongst the most diehard Wilco fans and hear this music for the first time.* Indian Food. Ok, so I always thought Indian food was kind of gross, and maybe where I live in New Jersey it is, but I have had it a couple of times in London including last night and it is unbelievably good. It is spicy as hell and my whole body was on fire afterward, but it is so delicious and so rich in flavor. If you are a foodie like I am and have never tried it, try it! Although, Indian food in London is supposed to be better than Indian food in India. The national dish is Chicken Tikka Masala for god’s sake. * Shoutout Sam Carus. After a lot of deliberation, I am grateful that he was able to finally make a decision about where he is going to goddamn school. Butler is a perfect fit for him, and he is going to do amazing things. * The bread here. You are always gonna get some really good bread in London. Sometimes, I take a baguette and make a sausage, peppers, and onion sandwich.* A great internship. I interned this semester at The Animal Farm; a label services company. I learned a lot and gained a lot of experience on the job. I also had a great boss and great colleagues who I was happy to get to know. I feel a little more ready for real life than I did before this semester, but still not really.* On that note, one last year to be fully a kid!This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: Everyone’s Chasing a DreamThis song is based on the feeling of longing for something, and not even knowing what it is that you are longing for. I know I and many other people are always looking toward the future. How am I going to get to that place that I really want to go? The escape from mundanity is a popular theme in rock music. This sense of longing often drives me not only to write and record music but work on myself as a person and hold myself to a certain standard. Sometimes I fail, and that is okay; we all do. That is why it is equally important to let bygones be bygones, accept the lessons you learn and move on which this song also addresses. Living in the moment is what is going to help make you and me successful human beings—whatever your idea of success may be. I demoed this song during winter break, but I believe that I wrote it last fall. There is definitely something missing in this arrangement, but I am confident enough in the recording to share with you the track. Everyone’s Chasing a DreamEveryone’s chasing a dreamElusive as the windMonday morning coffee, Friday evening ginStore-bought informationOn how to liveDaily planning, a regimenEveryone’s chasing a dreamTo escape the one that they’re inI just wanna know how to forget, How to not know a thingClever people tell youA recipe for progressWhy do they care?Do they not have secrets? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

Hello, my friends. This is the latest I have ever sat down to write one of these, on a Monday at least. It is 9 pm here in London. Let’s see if this entry to this big public journal I have created changes when the sun goes down. So, Elon Musk bought Twitter today for $44 billion and is making the company private. That is a lot for me to process and I have a lot of thoughts about Elon Musk, what he represents, his belief system, and his politics. I also feel a certain way about the existence of social media and the real and frankly dangerous power that it possesses over our very democracy. With that being said, I am not going to elaborate further right now because for one my brain is kind of fried right now on this Monday evening, but also because I do not want to sound alarmist and this literally just happened an hour or so ago. But, hey, remind me to tell you all about my views on free speech and what it all means to me. I can go on for quite some time. It is only fair to give you all a week to prepare yourselves, so you can come into next week's entry ready. In other news, I am getting close to the end of the semester here, and it is honestly really bumming me out. I went into this semester not even expecting to have as amazing of a time as I have had. I feel so fortunate. I know should probably be grateful that I got this experience rather than being sad it is over, but sadness is perfectly okay sometimes too. I have changed my perspective on sadness. I used to sometimes resist being sad, or talk myself out of being sad, or talk my friends out of being sad, and generally avoid sadness like the plague. As I creep into adulthood (Jesus F’n Christ), I am realizing that a lot of things in life are sad plain, and simple. Sometimes you may even feel sad for no reason at all. That is the nature of emotions sometimes. If you embrace sadness, it will pass more quickly because there are also a lot of things in life that are happy. I am not a guru nor do I claim any superiority or wisdom or anything, but this is an all-access pass to my brain and it is something I have been working through. I had a decent Monday though. The Mets won and won at a normal time here in London so I was able to get a good night’s sleep. I am living and dying with this team this season. Whether it lasts or not, they are playing good baseball for the most part and I am going to enjoy it. Let’s keep it going through May, and if they can just play .500 ball in June, I will take it as a win. I paid a nice little visit to Denmark Street today. I am not sure if I have mentioned Denmark Street in Breaker’s Point, but it is a street in London with exclusively guitar shops. It is actual heaven. I walked into a few shops I had not even been in because I like to spend a lot of time in Hank’s (shoutout Hanky boy) which is my favorite. They had some nice Gibson stuff, that I felt comfortable taking off the wall and playing. They have Gibson stuff in Hank’s but if you take one of those babies down off the wall to play, you are going to be met with some resistance—trust me from experience. Grateful Eight* Denmark Street. It is a damn utopia mis compadres.* Better Call Saul. It is back. I watched the first episode of season six, the last season, and I will probably watch episode two a little bit later. Let me tell you, episode one was a great way to open it up. *SLIGHT SPOILERS* There was not a lot of Mike (at least on-screen) or Kim for that matter. I think Lalo needs a spin-off show. Holy s**t, that character is good. Tony Dalton is an amazing actor. What else has he been in?* Barry. It is back. All my favorite shows are back, but I am not going to watch Barry just yet. I still need to refresh myself on what was happening in the show as now it has been two years since it last aired.* “What is something that I am grateful for” Ben: “Me.” Ehhh I am not so sure about this one. * We got a fire lineup tonight with Max Scherzer on the bump. LFGM baby, I will be locked in at 12:45.* Dishwashers. We have no dishwasher here, so we hand-wash everything. But then, we also do not have paper towels to dry things. I bought a roll twice. It is someone else’s turn. It has been months though.* Arcade Fire’s first album Funeral. I don’t play it for a while and then I will come back to it and be like “this is an absolute masterpiece; wtf.” It is their debut. It is lunacy to me. The arrangements are complex, the band has a fully-realized sound, and the songwriting sounds like they have been doing it since the 70s. Every time you close your eyes. Ahhhh ahhhh. Every time you close your eyes. Ahhhh Ahhhh. *key change* Every time you close your eyes. Ahhhh Ahhhh.* A good bolognese sauce.This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: Racing in the Street (Bruce Springsteen)I am so reluctant to cover Bruce, given my feelings towards him which of course are well documented. I feel that I connect with him and his music so deeply that properly covering it feels weird to me. How do I cover a Bruce song and not fall into the trap of singing the song like he has sung it on the recordings I have listened to 3,425,679 times. Growing up, I wanted to be Bruce. I still do in some ways, but that stays between us. However, I am my own artist and although Bruce is my biggest influence, I am Josh Carus. The obsession with Bruce cannot be understated but I will leave it at that. Trust me, you really do not want me to continue. I have had to train myself onstage to not mimic Bruce or his mannerisms that I do not think people understand, ARE NOW ALSO MY MANNERISMS. I have dug myself into an impossibly deep hole. There will always be some Bruce in how I perform, but I do think I am doing a better job these days of just being me. I wear my guitar higher, stand on the side of the stage, use a boom-mic stand instead of a straight one, and do my awkward little dances that have become ever so endearing to my audience. Yikes on that last bit. That was a very John Mayer thing to say. I hate John Mayer. I don’t mind his blues stuff though. Anyway, some of you may realize that I am playing the piano in the recording. Surprise! I do that now! I am not very good at all, but I have learned to accompany myself adequately and sort of fake it. I learned by learning Bruce's songs. This one was a small level-up in terms of difficulty. Look, who cares about all the nonsense of me trying to distance myself from my Bruce influence. It is just not that deep. Racing in the Street is one of the greatest songs ever written, and I wanted to cover it okay? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

I know everyone was on the edge of their seats for the newest edition of Breaker’s Point. I am sorry that it did not come out yesterday or even earlier today. I have been busy, but here I am now and I hope everyone that celebrates had a very happy Easter. My family visited me here in London this weekend. They got here on Thursday and just left today. It was so fun showing them around the city, the places I have been going and the sites that I have been seeing. It was one of our best ever family vacations. We were all happy to be all together in a city as awesome as London. It really was a vacation for me too, as I did not have school, I slept well in my own room (sorry Ben), and ate nice meals. Speaking of that Ben kid, it was fun meeting the Dietzes too. I had heard a lot about those folks. All in all, a grade-A weekend. Today it was back to the grind at my internship. In other news, I was so excited to see videos from Bloomfest at the Wescott Theater back in Syracuse. It was a huge show highlighting Syracuse bands. Studio 89 and Lauren Juzang killed it as usual, and I was delighted to see the newest Cuse band, Froggies play. I am excited to see them in person, but seeing videos on Instagram was enough for me to steal or I guess “borrow” their guitarist, Maria. Mnemonic Advice is going to look a little different next semester. Maria is going to replace James who will be in LA. My Bandier grandlittle (I guess that would be the word) Gloria is replacing the graduating Anish on bass. Nick of course reprises his role as the super drummer, and his buddy Dan I hope will be able to add some keyboards. I have not asked Dan yet, I will after I write this. I am excited to have a five-piece band to showcase a whole bunch of new songs I have written and elevate the older songs. I am so excited about this band. It is different. We already have a gig on 9/8 at Funk ‘N Waffles. Save the date.Grateful Eight* I have already said this one I think, but just to reiterate: family. It feels great being with my family after having been apart for a while. I just missed Hanky though :(* Being my mom’s “daughter” sometimes. Yikes. But, I get cool new clothes out of it, which is cool. Right?* A good Iced Coffee. Man, I need it. They do iced Americanos here which is the closest thing, but that is cold water and espresso over ice. The first few sips are great, but it gets all watered down. Diminishing returns, man.* That some dreams are just dreams. I had a really weird one last night and I woke up so relieved that it was not real. I do not want to talk about it.* Beds with wider dimensions. I like to sprawl out a little when I sleep and my bed in my flat is not as conducive to that. The cot in my family’s air BnB was though, so I slept nicely.* Sometimes I complain about minutia; like minutia of minutia. It is the Larry David in me I guess and I think sometimes it is funny, but I am grateful I do not have to complain about things that are not totally ridiculous and small.* Jack White has been releasing all of his live gigs on this tour on Nugs to listen to with the subscription. I have listened to a couple and he is on fire. Also, I love his new album.* I have a couple more weeks here. I do not want to leave yet. I will view this as a positive. This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go (Bob Dylan)This is a song off of one of my favorite Bob Dylan albums, Blood on the Tracks. I love the lyrics to this one and the charismatic nature in which he delivers them. I tried to match him with the same charisma and whisperiness in my cover, but make it a bit my own. However, sometimes it is hard not to sound like Bob Dylan when covering many Bob Dylan songs. I think that it is probably his genius that makes this the case. I have so much good stuff in store as far as new songs and demos; a good chunk I have shared with you, but I do not want to give you all of them at once. I would rather spread it out. Take this cover as consolation. I hope you enjoy it. Also, listen to my music people:https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/mnemonicadvice/need-a-vacation This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

Wow, I am tired. I was in Edinburgh this weekend (more on that later) and last night nothing could go our way as far as getting back to London as quickly and efficiently as possible. We had a 9:15 PM flight that was delayed to 10:15 PM. The flight was longer than expected too as we were taxiing in the sky for quite some time. We finally land and the tubes are closed and the only public transportation option was a two-hour bus ride. No thanks. So uber it was, but au contraire, we could not get an Uber for our lives. So we waited in line for a taxi and after a half-hour, we finally got a cab with a lovely older Spanish couple. We got home at around 2:30 AM. Terrible. Anyway, Edinburgh was a fun time. It is the weirdest city I have ever been to in my life. The nature is beautiful; there are mountains and valleys and plains. The city is interesting. It is not what one would call boujee. It has an old charm, it is small and all the roads are cobblestone and it rests beneath high castles and extravagant churches. The people are interesting. Let me just say that. People wear bizarre costumes every day, and wacky things happen on the streets, and no one bats an eye. We saw a woman in a 19th-century colonial dress sprinting up a hill with two buckets and a fish. I wish I could properly convey how bizarre it was. It was fever-dreamlike. The nature though really was phenomenal. We did a hike all the way up the mountains to Arthur’s seat. I am very happy I went, but I do not know if I would rush back there.Meanwhile, baseball season has started. I have not watched enough of the Mets so far as I want to because of the time difference and I am often busy. I should be able to watch more this week. I am dying with the blue and orange. It is way way early but this team has a slightly different feel. That is all I will say. Also, the bar is low. That is all I really have to report. Plus, I am tired. My brain needs a little while to come back. I think I left it in the underground caves that we toured.Grateful Eight:* DSPs. These are streaming services. Do you ever reflect that you have virtually every song in the world that you can search and play in about one second? It is wild and as a fan of music, I am grateful for them. People will tell you that it leads to formulaic music and attempts at hacking an algorithm to make money rather than producing art. I am usually people. Daniel Ek also cannot fathom art. He just does not get it when it comes to Spotify. But, I will take it. It is better than not having all that music at your disposal.* I am grateful for the way eating a meal has the power to completely transform you as a person. You are irritable and tired and then you eat a meal and you are ready to go. Food was fuel in Edinburgh.* Busy cities. Every place in Edinburgh shuts down by 1 AM and it is incredibly annoying. As far as late-night eats, we went to literally the only place in the city that was open. Honestly, I do not want to talk about it. It was vile.* The Cinelli Brothers. This is a blues band I have seen play twice at this bar in London called Ain’t Nothing But The Blues Bar. They are fantastic. The guitar-playing brother is among the top five guitarists I have ever seen live in my life. He is that good. All of them are insanely good. They do old blues tunes and readapt classic rock songs like Love the One You’re With and Black Magic Woman. They even played some Jack White the other night. They’re pretty life-affirming.* These next 9 minutes before my boring ass class starts.* Krispy Kreme Doughnuts.* I do not have class on Friday morning this week which is a gift. That class is early in the morning, prevents us from traveling, absolutely useless with zero purpose whatsoever, and…you know actually, I will just stop there. What if my professors read this? They won’t. Maybe they will. Nah they won’t. Whatever.* My classes are easy. I rant about school, but my classes are not too bad.This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: Brown Leather BallWe are almost in NFL Draft season, so I thought I would share a little country song about football. This song goes way back. This was a song that I wrote for my first album, Dissociate which I released in 2019. We are probably going back four years potentially. I liked the song, but I did not think it fit for that album. I considered the song for my second album Need a Vacation also, and I ultimately decided that it did not fit on there either. Who knows? Maybe it will find itself on the album I am in the process of writing. It is a fun song about high school football. The football field on a Friday night is essentially a town hall meeting in towns like mine. Football is a vehicle for people to demonstrate pride in our town. Sports provide a sense of community in general. I also love football. I have made lasting memories freezing my ass off in “The Valley” on a Friday chanting “Slaw! Slaw! Slaw” or rooting on Alex to hold together the offensive line. Meanwhile, there is one lyric in this recording (which is from April 2020)…..wait a minute. I am not sure if this song was written a long time ago and I just recorded it in April or I am full of s**t and I wrote this song for Need a Vacation. Do you see what I was saying in the first entry? Sometimes, I have no concept of when or where I wrote a song. Anyway, the lyric I hate. At the beginning of the song, I created the setting as the football field on Friday NIGHT. NIGHT. But in the second verse, I contradict that by saying the actor, the housewife, and the mob boss are in pure daylight. It is not pure daylight at all. It really bugs me. I have since changed it (because I think I did play it recently at Funk N Waffles, which again, I could be full of s**t) to “the autumn night.” That one makes a lot more sense. I also say “kissing kids” which does sound weird but you have to understand in middle school, people would plan to kiss each other at these games. It’s part of growing up okay? With that being said—Brown Leather BallOn a Friday night everyone gathersWith wine in their pockets and a bouquet of flowersUnder bright lights that tower the fieldThe week is done, the valley is litAt the center of a great big pitBig as the one in the stomach of the team Uniting us all is a brown leather ballFrom the kissing kids to the callous working man You can hear the angry yells and obnoxious cowbellsThe sound of innocent pride in the skyThere’s a washed-up actor and a housewifeA mob boss in pure daylightWith their asses on the icy steel bleachersThere’s a stampede of passionate kidsCheering hard as the game hits the skidsShouting their heads off at the teachers. Uniting us all is a brown leather ballFrom the kissing kids to the callous working man You can hear the angry yells and obnoxious cowbellsThe sound of innocent pride in the skyUniting us all is a brown leather ballFrom the kissing kids to the callous working man You can hear the angry yells and obnoxious cowbellsThe sound of innocent pride in the skyThe sound of innocent pride in the sky This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

Here we go. Welcome to the fifth issue of the Breaker’s Point newsletter. I am having so much fun doing these, and I look forward to sharing music and my thoughts with all of you each week. I extend a warm greeting to any newcomers, and for you initial subscribers; thanks for paying attention and even telling your friends. It means a lot to me. I had quite a long weekend, yet it was packed with fun and old friends. My brother-from-another-mother Josh Feinstein visited me here in London. It was fun showing him around and trying to expose him to all the amazing things that London has to offer by day and by night. I also saw an old camp friend that I had not seen in years. She and I were very close friends and it was nice to see her again, and we really picked up where we left off. I was fortunate enough to go to camp and form these deep friendships, and for you non-camp-goers, there are no such relationships to compare it to. I am sorry. It is a special thing. I recovered yesterday as I barely left my bed and went on a Mad Men marathon and finally finished the show. As much as I would love to write about it, I do not want to spoil it for anyone who has not seen it. I hate spoilers, so I do my best not to spoil anything for anyone else. I will say that I liked the finale and was satisfied with how the show ended. On a more serious note, I have never distrusted the media before, at least the media that I choose to consume. I frankly am disgusted by the former president’s attack on the media and I view it as an impetus to the increasingly divided world we are trying to unite. However, I am upset with how many neutral or left-leaning sources covered the death of five ISRAELI JEWS, who were killed by Palestinian terrorists. ISRAELI JEWS were the words that they left out, and generalized by just saying five people were killed. There is definitely antisemitism in there and it makes me deeply uncomfortable. I do want to say though that I do not support Israel’s oppression and murder of Palestinians either. I am just Jewish and understand that without Israel, there are no Jews. I love the Dr. King quote that Bruce uses in his broadway show: “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” Sometimes something happens so many times that King’s principle can feel untrue. However, I do not think it is untrue. You have to be an optimist because what is the alternative. Hope keeps us alive. But god damn it is so frustrating. Otherwise, I am chomping at the bit to play live again. I am filled with so many ideas to make performances even better and show off some new songs I have not played yet, or have played a few times. There are also a lot of back-catalog tunes that do not get live representation. I promise that when I get home, and then back to Syracuse, you are all going to see the greatest Mnemonic Advice show you have ever seen. If you have a stage, let me know. Oh s**t, it was also the Grammys last night. Eh, whatever, I don’t care to be perfectly honest. Grateful Eight:* Bruce Inc. has made several live shows available for stream included in the nugs.net subscription. Before this, you had to buy each one. I am super excited by this. * My health. COVID cases are surging in the UK right now. It is a pretty bad wave. I am always grateful for being healthy.* Summer of Soul. I started watching this Questlove-directed Summer of Soul documentary about the Harlem Culture Festival of 1969. Some of the performance footage feels surreal. There is a clip of a young Stevie Wonder upright and singing, and then ripping a drum solo. I had no idea he could even play drums. There was also an excellent B.B. King clip. I know Sly and the Family Stone turns up soon and I am excited to see that.* NJ Bagels. It is honestly sad what they call a bagel here.* Similar theme, but NJ diners. You don’t know how many times I do not know what I want to eat, or craving diner food. Diners are amazing. They are essential and should not be taken for granted.* Ok, NJ delis. I would love to walk into Marra’s and get a number 17 for lunch or dinner. It is so quick and easy and delicious. London does not really have delis and if they do, they are not very good.* Since I have shat all over London’s food situation, I will praise London beer. Other countries just do beer better than the United States. They keep the beer extra cold and pour it well. A Stella Artois in London and a Stella Artois in the US taste like different beers. * Old Kanye. Look, I have no idea what has happened to the man in the last 3 or 4 years. I cannot even listen to his new albums, because I am so sick of 2022 current day Kanye. But, my god, this guy was a visionary. The beats are simple but soulful on albums like The College Dropout and Late Registration. The man could also rap with the rhythm and potence of the top MCs at the time. His lyrics! His lyrics were funny but poignant, politically conscious, and clever. It is objectively amazing music. Ugh. Bring that guy back. He is gone forever though.This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural WomanThis has always been one of my all-time favorite songs. Carole King is a treasure. I even prefer her version of this song on Tapestry to Aretha Franklin’s version which of course is legendary. Something about a songwriter and a piano will always be magic to my ears. I decided it would be fun to cover as a man. It is a damned if you do and damned if you don’t situation when it comes to changing pronouns/references to the opposite sex. I feel like I do not need to get into why, but personally, I do not like to change the original lyrics no matter what. It feels weird and superficial to me. I love how in The White Stripes cover of Jolene, Jack White does not change the lyrics at all. Something about it seems cool. So, yeah. Why can’t a 21-year-old straight white guy feel like a natural woman? I claim discrimination :) This recording is from an Instagram live stream I did during COVID. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

Hello readers. After last week’s entry and my mom’s promotion of it on Facebook, I feel like there might be a lot of newcomers. That is awesome. Welcome to Breaker’s Point; you are guaranteed to have the time of your life. I do not have a whole lot to say this week. It was a busy weekend with a lot of going out, so I am tired and I am recovering. I watched the Mets game yesterday to see deGrom and Scherzer pitch and they both were dominant. Meanwhile, the offense looked good, specifically Francisco Lindor. The league is not ready.Anyway, I thought I would give you a little insight into my creative process and how I want to record my next album. For my first two albums, I recorded, engineered, and produced the entire thing on Garageband. I am the only person to work on those records aside from Abby Garcia who sings on a track on each album. I did this out of necessity because I could not afford a studio, and did not have a band to help me record, so like many indie artists, I recorded in my bedroom. The masters on the recording sound demo-quality, which I think fits well with those albums. However, now I am more curious about the sonic element of my music. I really want it to sound good, and in Garageband, you can only make it sound so good. I have recorded many demos in the same way as I did for the first two albums, but now they are just demos. I want to professionally record them with a band. This batch of songs needs to breathe and have the spirit and soul of a live band playing on it. However, studio time is extremely expensive and I need a lot of it because I have so many songs to record. Plus, some studios can sound quite stale and lifeless. Here is my fantasy: I want to rent a house and record it there with a band. We could knock it out in about a week. It would also give the music the sonic element that I think fits so well with it. It is not exactly practical financially or otherwise to do this though. But I don’t know. I want to get imaginative when it comes to recording this thing. It is time for my recorded music to reflect the liveliness (as people have told me) of my live show. Reach out if you have any ideas. Also, I just cracked my phone. S**t. Grateful Eight:* Fresh water. So many places do not have good drinking water, and sometimes we take our clean and safe drinking water for granted. I drink like gallons of water each day. If I am anything, it is hydrated. * Beck’s Cafe. It is a cafe in London near my school and I go there every Monday. I am officially a regular there and the waiter knows my order. It is a nice time for me to be alone, catch up on my TV and eat good breakfast food, which is sometimes hard to come by in this city. Also, why do they eat those nasty beans for breakfast here? I am so grossed out by it.* My dog Henry. Hanky, if you are reading this, I miss you!* You! Yes, you, the reader. Honestly, it is not too much but this little project of mine has been getting a lot more attention than I thought it would. That is really cool. Thank you!* The blues. I have gone to this blues club called Ain’t Nothing But The Blues, and I have seen some amazing talent. There was a band called the Cinelli Brothers and they burnt the place to the ground. They did bluesy covers of “Love the One You’re With”, “Black Magic Woman”, “These Boots Were Made for Walking”, and interpolations of “Miserlou” and “Tequila.” It was incredible. Then, I saw another band that was a lot jazzier and had a three-piece horn section. The blues is soul cleansing. There is something about it that can cheer you up. It is catharsis for the audience who are undoubtedly experiencing their own version of the blues. * The Bruce song, “None But the Brave.” It is on The bonus Essential Bruce Springsteen Disc Three. It is a personal favorite of mine. It was written in 1983 and did not make “Born in the USA.” It is honestly in Bruce’s upper echelon. It has everything from sax to guitar solos to soulful vocals and an astounding set of lyrics. It is a perfect song.* Hyde Park. I have been to Hyde Park a bunch recently. The first time I took my guitar and notebook and worked on some music. I also went to walk around with my friends and we explored it all, from the Albert Hall memorial statue to the pond (with some of the biggest swans I have ever seen), to the garden, to the food stand where we got some surprisingly excellent chicken tenders. It is a beautiful park and it is basically in my backyard.* English Dr. Pepper. I don’t know why, but it is insanely good. This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: Southern GentlemanI wrote this song when I was quarantined in the Sheraton Hotel at Syracuse for 14 days because my roommate tested positive. I could not leave my hotel room. It was miserable. This song has a lot of themes and ideas. I was honestly inspired by the Bible Belt and the values that I know for a fact people have there combined with values and behaviors I infer that the people have there. Religion has always been an interesting topic for me. Although I am a proud Jew, actual religious principles and values do not really mean much to me. I am not a believer in God’s judgment nor in the Jewish and Christian idea of the afterlife. I imagined the stress and pressure that one’s faith (specifically a Christian southern man in this song) can put on him or her. It deals with making mistakes. I feel like sometimes religious people may be harder on themselves because of their fear of God. Part of this song is me trying to say to the southern gentleman that it is okay that you fucked up, but ultimately on Earth, there is no reason to dwell on the divine’s opinion of you (or anyone else’s for that matter). Mistakes do not necessarily make one a bad person. I am trying to communicate that. Counteract negative behavior with positive behavior. Also, I think there is a harmful standard for what a tough, masculine man needs to encompass in the south. It is okay for everyone to be not okay. That is a cliché but it is true. Does that make sense? Oh, and also, Abby hates this song. Southern GentlemanSouthern gentleman tell me what’s your sinHave you come to hate your face in the mirror’s reflection?Man it’s not that badWhatever it is you didGod may not forgive you but it don’t matter in the endJesse you’re still alive and wellKiss that bride of yours tonight and you won’t go to hellPut all of your faith in the marshy swamps and treesThrow your books into the lake let them disappear beneath the algaeJesse you’re still alive and wellPull over that Ford tonight embrace the highway’s spellStrum a guitar and play a gloomy tuneCry your spirit out whatever you need to do to feel renewedSouthern gentleman tell me how you’ve beenWhat’s got you down is it the cloud above you or within?Do not appear so strong If you can’t sing that songYou will still be punished after you repent for your wrongs Jesse you’re still alive and wellHug your brothers and sisters tight and you won’t go to hell. Strum a guitar and play a gloomy tuneCry your spirit out whatever you need to do to feel renewed. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

Hey, all you cool cats and kittens! (Remember Tiger King? That is how Carole Baskin greeted her viewers in all of her videos. Weird. She totally killed her husband, by the way.) Anyhow, thank you to everyone for being so supportive and reading these entries, listening to the songs, and sharing them. It means a lot and encourages me to keep writing. I just got done with going down a little rabbit hole on YouTube. Maybe it is a little embarrassing, and maybe you would not think that I would be the guy to do this, but I watched like four Lady Gaga solo piano performances. I cannot get enough. That song “You and I” is fire!!! Then, I watched Rihanna sing “Love on the Brain” at Global Citizen Fest. I love that song so much and Rihanna kills it with that performance. Where are you Rihanna? The world desperately needs you though; congrats on the baby though. Ok, enough silly business. Let’s talk about Ireland (essentially an oxymoron as you do not get a sillier country than Ireland). I visited Dublin this past weekend and celebrated my favorite holiday, St. Patrick’s Day. As a Jew, I connect deeply with the story of St. Patrick and I think about him and all he has done for us as I sip my pint of Guinness. I loved Dublin and the people. It is a very happy-go-lucky city, or at least it was on St. Patrick’s Day weekend. The nightlife is awesome, and the Temple Bar area was cool to explore as the vibe and music in each place were different. There is something to be said about live music. There was a bar where a man with a guitar and a woman sang some classic pop and rock tunes, and even songs I have heard a hundred times had some sort of new energy to it. The singers were not that great, and the guy committed a federal crime in the Josh Carus lawbook by banging the s**t out of an acoustic guitar and disrespecting the grace and fragility of the instrument, but I digress. All this to say that they were not the best performers, but the fact that it was live made it more fun. Maybe that had something to do with the Guinness though. I am happy to be back here in London for the next couple of weeks. I am seeing Lucy Dacus this upcoming weekend, which is exciting. Interestingly enough, I have seen Lucy Dacus on tour for each one of her albums. I saw her open for Car Seat Headrest; that is when I discovered her because she was amazing. Then, I saw her do a headline show in New Jersey for Historian. Then, I saw her open for Bright Eyes on the Home Video tour, and now will be seeing a proper headlining show in support of that album. It is pretty cool. I am a longtime fan—a hipster of sorts. Grateful Eight: * Pepcid. It is a miracle drug and relieves you of any stomach pain or discomfort that you may have. I was explaining to Mr. Ben Dietz last night that it is a miracle drug. It is the best over-the-counter drug you can buy in a store.* Do you want to know the best food you can buy in a store? Well, I will tell you. The answer is Rao’s marinara sauce. Man, I miss it. They do not have it here in London, so I want everyone who has access to it right now to not take it for granted. * Buck Showalter. I do not think there is anyone who loves baseball more than Buck Showalter. He also happens to be a really funny guy. The Mets and the Mets fans are lucky to have him and I can only hope he brings us success!* The sun. The Velvet Underground sing “who loves the sun? Who cares that it is shining? Who cares what it does? Since you broke my heart?” Not everything is about you, Lou Reed. I love the sun and I feel so much happier when it is shining. It has been shining in London lately and it was really shining in Dublin. Sorry that you got your heart broken, Lou, but do not take it out on the sun.* Creedence Clearwater Revival. In creating this project I have tried to get to the very foundation of American songwriting. I have been listening to old country legends like Hank Williams and Roy Acuff. Then there are vinyl area classic rock guys like Bob Dylan, of course, and John Fogerty is a big one. That man knows how to write a hit and each song is about three chords. It is genius. It is remarkable he was able to write so many amazing songs in like four years, I think. Nuts. God bless him. * I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson. If you do not watch this show, you have to. It might be the best sketch comedy series I have ever seen. Some sketches make me laugh so much I cry. It is on Netflix.* American food. I love London, but the food stinks. Good restaurants are a little bit few and far between, unfortunately.* Solid Sound. (Wilco’s music festival). I am going to be sad to leave London, but knowing that Solid Sound will be just around the corner when I am back eases the blow. This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: Clawing at the GlassThis is a fairly new song that I am super proud of. It has become one of the centerpieces of this new album/project that I am working on, and it may even be the namesake of the project. This entry has been pretty lighthearted and funny, which is interesting considering this song is pretty deadly serious. It is about seeing the world and seeing a relationship through the lens of mental illness. It deals with forgetting who you even are, who and what you are supposed to be, and why you may mean a lot to people. It is a trippy thing, but I have had the experience of looking at myself in the mirror and not connecting with the person I saw. It is crazy how people can smile and laugh and seem fine on the outside when on the inside, they are struggling. I will let the song and the lyrics tell the rest of the story. This recording is from a session I did for Pausewave, a classmate’s capstone project.“Clawing at the Glass”Too young to fall apartTogether now, growing up in the darkWaiting on something like rain to wash it awayWaiting on purified tears to drip down your faceToo weightless to even standOn the platform of our lonesome landAs I look at my face, I’m sick with a smileLoving what I see, but it’s not meI’m looking at you through a windowMuddied by the waste that my own mind excretesClawing at the glass for peaceI feel like feeling badBut feelings are thin like the skin on the palm of my handTragically majestic like a piano with broken keysEmbellishing a room but it's of no use to meStuck in the back of my mindTrying to get out but freedom is so hard to findBelieve me, I love you infinitelyBut tonight I forget who I’m supposed to beI’m looking at you through a windowMuddied by the waste that my own mind excretesClawing at the glass for peace This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

Here we go again. Welcome to Breaker’s Point #2. I’m your host, Josh Carus. I went to Paris this past weekend and it felt pretty surreal. I walked around the Louvre, saw the Eiffel Tower, and had some authentic French cuisine, which, yes, included escargot. That stuff is hard to eat. When I ordered it, they gave me some sort of tool and a tiny fork, and man was I confused. A lovely French surgeon had to help me get the *gulp* snails out of their shell. He was getting so frustrated, and he was clearly an extremely nice guy, and my incompetency in eating a French delicacy clearly struck a nerve. It was funny. Anyway, seeing the Eiffel Tower, to me, was a real pinch-me moment. Shortly after the sun sets, the Tower is lit up gold with sparkling lights. I have never been so emotionally affected by a building. Studying abroad is awesome man; this s**t really is once in a lifetime. I can go on and on about my Paris weekend getaway. The last thing I will say is that I went to a club in France and the DJ was literally sampling Coltrane among other jazz legends and putting it over a house/dance beat. It was cool. We also got drinks at 5 am with two Norwegian girls we met on the street. That is another story in and of itself, but they were cool, I have never met someone from Norway before. That was my first weekend trip of the semester and I cannot wait to embark on more. There is not much else to talk about for me this past week. I will mention though that I am getting very antsy to play shows. It dominates my thoughts. I guess you guys probably do not know the thought that I put in my live shows because you are not living in my head, but I hope that it comes across for anyone who has seen me live. In a way, I am upset that the two full band shows I played last semester were the same setlist, although for the Funk N Waffles show I added 2 more songs, She Said She Said by those Liverpool lads, and my original The Night. I played The Night completely differently than I played back in Boonton, NJ at Redhouse. That is something that feels cool to me. I love to play songs different ways depending on where they turn up in the set and what the song before it is. I want to do that more and I also want to play more shows with different setlists every single time. I have the songs to do it, especially given that I have written so many since the last time I even stood on a stage. Excuse the rambling, but this is my newsletter right? It’s supposed to be my thoughts right? You do not need to read everything if some things are not that much of interest to you. I am trying to let you into my brain and you can take or leave it—either one is cool with me. :)Behold, this week’s Grateful Eight:* While, the French honestly do not love Americans or speaking English understandably so, they were super accommodating. A lot of the time I felt like a confused idiot, but everyone has patience. I guess I am not used to that, and that must have been why I noticed it.* Every Wilco live release is available through the basic Nugs.net subscription and they are downloadable. That is so cool of Wilco. I wish Bruce would do the same. He won’t though.* Baseball is back! The Mets made a great deal for Chris Bassitt from the A’s. They also signed RHP Adam Ottovino. I can not wait for Mets Baseball.* Max Scherzer; and Jacob deGrom for that matter* Continuing with the sports front, March Madness is beginning. The time difference is tricky, but at least I will not be watching games in class like I previously have. I can pay attention more. Maybe I will learn something.* French French Fries, or Frites as they are known over there.* A beautiful day today in London. This city ain’t known for its weather.* There are a select people who really understand my art and my music and my passion, and what I am doing creatively. Genuinely, it sounds so cliché, and it may be cliché for good reason, but to have even one fan means the world to me. So gratifying.This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: Pieholden Suite (Wilco)I love Wilco. Wilco is my favorite band. Jeff Tweedy is tied for my favorite songwriter with…well…you know who. Even if you barely know me, you know who. This is one of my dad and I’s favorite Wilco deep cuts. It is off their 1998 album, Summerteeth. It is song that has like 3 key changes within 3 minutes, but they all work and I guess that is why suite is in the title. This is a rare time where I do not remember recording this at all. Usually, I have some concept of where I was or something, but for this one I do not. It is cool looking back in my voice memos and finding little surprises like this one. This was recorded in November 2020. Enjoy!Here is a link to last week’s issue ICYMI: And here is a link to my music: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/mnemonicadvice/need-a-vacation This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com

Welcome to the first edition of Breaker’s Point, my newsletter/open journal. (I apologize advance for the length of this entry.) As advertised, the first section of each post will be a summation of my thoughts the past week. For starters, allow me to address current events as they are impossible to ignore, especially if I am being candid in this open journal that I have vulnerably created. You do not need me to tell you that Russia’s invasion of Ukraine is quite frightening. I am actually a super optimist when it comes to this s**t. It is difficult to be anything else. Let us hope for the best-case scenario- Putin’s ass is pushed out of power, Ukraine stays free, and the Western World prevails with as few casualties as possible. I have done my fair share of research on this conflict and its implications, but I do not really want to get into it here as it is not the purpose of Breaker’s Point. All I will say is Russia’s invasion of Ukraine resembles Hitler’s invasion of Poland, which of course started World War II. The impending war in Ukraine is such a global crisis that it is distracting from the World War II-reminiscent Nazism that American state officials are tapping into on my home soil. ICYMI, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, classified it as child abuse for parents to allow their children to receive gender-reassignment surgery, as well as to take testosterone, estrogen, and puberty blockers that are treatments for transgender children and teens. If that was not f*****g disgusting, oppressive, and hateful enough, Texas Governor Greg Abbott issued a directive for all licensed professionals to report any “abuse” that they come across to the authorities. The authorities are then instructed to legally prosecute these “perpetrators.” I was having a conversation with my friend the other day, explaining why this hurts me to my core; especially as a Jewish person with family members who were impacted by the Holocaust. If you do not see these efforts by Abbott and Paxton as enacted through the scope of Nazi ideology, you are either homophobic or need to read a damn book. To be honest, it makes me want to cry in anger and sadness for the trans youth in Texas. At the end of this newsletter, I will link organizations to which you can contribute that are helping Texas trans people. My opening thoughts to each newsletter will be much shorter than this, but I could not ignore all of these horrifying events. On the lighter side, I saw Big Thief twice this weekend at the O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire. I am not a religious or particularly spiritual person, but I swear these shows were an ethereal experience for me. I have felt this incorporeal magic only a few times in my life. Adrianne Lenker is a bonafide star and the rest of the band is in lock-step with her. She sings on the song Spud Infinity, “what’s it going to take to free the celestial body,” and I think the answer for me is to go to a Big Thief gig. Here is this week’s Grateful Eight (eight things big or small, serious or humorous, that I am grateful for):* Big Thief (you knew this was coming)* Having the opportunity and privilege to enrich myself during this semester in London. I am having fun and I am learning a lot. It was individually essential for current-day 21 year old me to have this experience right now.* The fact that the Knicks suck so I do not have to feel like a bad fan for missing games due to the time difference* My Fender Telecaster guitar. If you have seen me perform live, then you have seen this guitar. It was given to me by my Uncle Michael, and it has become like a third arm. It gives me comfort, and some damn good songs have come out of that thing if I may say so myself. * Pasta* Phisherman’s Warf on YouTube. It is a channel that has maybe 2-3 dozen Bruce Springsteen concerts in full. I need it to hold me over until I can actually see the man live again.* My dog Henry. I miss him.* @meals_by_cug on TikTok. No man has better vibes than Cugine.This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: Fish in WaterHonestly, I believe that these are some of my best lyrics to date. This song is written from the perspective of a fish navigating his nautical environment and escaping predators. It is an allegory for human existence. No one asked to be here. We were put here without a choice, and we are forced to stay grounded and learn how to survive among internal and external conflicts and obstacles that try to beat us down. At the end of the day, all organisms on Earth need food, water, rest, and shelter. This recording is from April 2021. As with many of these recordings and in the spirit of giving you as close of an insight into how I craft songs as possible, this is super rough so excuse any subpar singing, especially the very last note which I absolutely butchered.Here are the lyrics:Unbeknownst to me I was dropped in the sea Been fighting to hide among the sharks and the waves of debrisBut I am so exposedAs my scales reflect the sunSomething chasing after me Like a bullet running from the gunSink or swim just existing on a whim There’s that witching hour when the sky is dark and the water is grim And I’m just hiding in the crowd Of friends I made along the way Escaping the same death In an everyone-for-themself kind of dealStill so pretty when I am dead They cut off my head, they cut off my head Hook-line-and-sinker they know I ain’t much of a thinkerI just need some food and some rest Like every living thing Just need a break from the fear And spending my strength to get into the clearUnbeknownst to me I was dropped in the sea Been fighting to hide among the sharks and the waves of debris Oh, but I am so exposed  As my scales reflect the sun Something chasing after me Like a bullet running from the gunLinks to support the Texas trans community:https://www.equalitytexas.org/take-action/donate/give/ (I donated to this one)http://www.fiesta-youth.org/https://www.montrosecenter.org/hatch-youth/https://www.latinatranstexas.org/ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com