Breaker's Point #1

Welcome to the first edition of Breaker’s Point, my newsletter/open journal. (I apologize advance for the length of this entry.) As advertised, the first section of each post will be a summation of my thoughts the past week. For starters, allow me to address current events as they are impossible to ignore, especially if I am being candid in this open journal that I have vulnerably created. You do not need me to tell you that Russia’s invasion of Ukraine is quite frightening. I am actually a super optimist when it comes to this s**t. It is difficult to be anything else. Let us hope for the best-case scenario- Putin’s ass is pushed out of power, Ukraine stays free, and the Western World prevails with as few casualties as possible. I have done my fair share of research on this conflict and its implications, but I do not really want to get into it here as it is not the purpose of Breaker’s Point. All I will say is Russia’s invasion of Ukraine resembles Hitler’s invasion of Poland, which of course started World War II. The impending war in Ukraine is such a global crisis that it is distracting from the World War II-reminiscent Nazism that American state officials are tapping into on my home soil. ICYMI, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, classified it as child abuse for parents to allow their children to receive gender-reassignment surgery, as well as to take testosterone, estrogen, and puberty blockers that are treatments for transgender children and teens. If that was not f*****g disgusting, oppressive, and hateful enough, Texas Governor Greg Abbott issued a directive for all licensed professionals to report any “abuse” that they come across to the authorities. The authorities are then instructed to legally prosecute these “perpetrators.” I was having a conversation with my friend the other day, explaining why this hurts me to my core; especially as a Jewish person with family members who were impacted by the Holocaust. If you do not see these efforts by Abbott and Paxton as enacted through the scope of Nazi ideology, you are either homophobic or need to read a damn book. To be honest, it makes me want to cry in anger and sadness for the trans youth in Texas. At the end of this newsletter, I will link organizations to which you can contribute that are helping Texas trans people. My opening thoughts to each newsletter will be much shorter than this, but I could not ignore all of these horrifying events. On the lighter side, I saw Big Thief twice this weekend at the O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire. I am not a religious or particularly spiritual person, but I swear these shows were an ethereal experience for me. I have felt this incorporeal magic only a few times in my life. Adrianne Lenker is a bonafide star and the rest of the band is in lock-step with her. She sings on the song Spud Infinity, “what’s it going to take to free the celestial body,” and I think the answer for me is to go to a Big Thief gig. Here is this week’s Grateful Eight (eight things big or small, serious or humorous, that I am grateful for):* Big Thief (you knew this was coming)* Having the opportunity and privilege to enrich myself during this semester in London. I am having fun and I am learning a lot. It was individually essential for current-day 21 year old me to have this experience right now.* The fact that the Knicks suck so I do not have to feel like a bad fan for missing games due to the time difference* My Fender Telecaster guitar. If you have seen me perform live, then you have seen this guitar. It was given to me by my Uncle Michael, and it has become like a third arm. It gives me comfort, and some damn good songs have come out of that thing if I may say so myself. * Pasta* Phisherman’s Warf on YouTube. It is a channel that has maybe 2-3 dozen Bruce Springsteen concerts in full. I need it to hold me over until I can actually see the man live again.* My dog Henry. I miss him.* @meals_by_cug on TikTok. No man has better vibes than Cugine.This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: Fish in WaterHonestly, I believe that these are some of my best lyrics to date. This song is written from the perspective of a fish navigating his nautical environment and escaping predators. It is an allegory for human existence. No one asked to be here. We were put here without a choice, and we are forced to stay grounded and learn how to survive among internal and external conflicts and obstacles that try to beat us down. At the end of the day, all organisms on Earth need food, water, rest, and shelter. This recording is from April 2021. As with many of these recordings and in the spirit of giving you as close of an insight into how I craft songs as possible, this is super rough so excuse any subpar singing, especially the very last note which I absolutely butchered.Here are the lyrics:Unbeknownst to me I was dropped in the sea Been fighting to hide among the sharks and the waves of debrisBut I am so exposedAs my scales reflect the sunSomething chasing after me Like a bullet running from the gunSink or swim just existing on a whim There’s that witching hour when the sky is dark and the water is grim And I’m just hiding in the crowd Of friends I made along the way Escaping the same death In an everyone-for-themself kind of dealStill so pretty when I am dead They cut off my head, they cut off my head Hook-line-and-sinker they know I ain’t much of a thinkerI just need some food and some rest Like every living thing Just need a break from the fear And spending my strength to get into the clearUnbeknownst to me I was dropped in the sea Been fighting to hide among the sharks and the waves of debris Oh, but I am so exposed  As my scales reflect the sun Something chasing after me Like a bullet running from the gunLinks to support the Texas trans community:https://www.equalitytexas.org/take-action/donate/give/ (I donated to this one)http://www.fiesta-youth.org/https://www.montrosecenter.org/hatch-youth/https://www.latinatranstexas.org/ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com