Breaking Down Men

Why is anger easier for men to express than other emotions? Can men work through their anger in healthy ways? What's underneath the anger and how do men discover a broader range of emotions? Jim & Jay explore all these questions as they attempt to discuss anger without getting angry. Plus, the guys celebrate reaching a podcast goal, spin the wheel of emotions, and pick the top clowns of all time.

This week Jim & Jay open up about their personal journeys to understand themselves as sexual people (maybe skip this one, mom) and share about the repression, shame, guilt, and fear they have experienced around sexual desire. The guys also discuss their adolescent confusion about French kissing, horror movies, virgins, and Playboys in the woods. Plus, best euphemisms for sex!

Jim & Jay discuss an insightful and fascinating article about masculinity by Christine Emba. Plus they chat about storage unit cartels, the pros and cons of skipping class, and the worst Star Wars movies. Really if you’re not a giant Star Wars nerd you may just want to skip the last 30 minutes. "Men are lost. Here's a map out of the wilderness" by Christine Emba https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/07/10/christine-emba-masculinity-new-model/

Why do men and women play sports separately? What are the pros and cons of gendered athletics? How come people are so mad about transgender athletes? Jim & Jay discuss these questions and more. Plus, the guys pick their favorite school supplies, and chat about trapezoids, the Dukes of Hazard, and the great mystery of Cliffs.

News article about the study Jay mentioned on hunters and gathers: https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2023/07/01/1184749528/men-are-hunters-women-are-gatherers-that-was-the-assumption-a-new-study-upends-iThe Study itself: https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0287101Alok's website: https://www.alokvmenon.com/The Adam Sandler SNL sketch the guys joked about, Romano Tours: https://youtu.be/TbwlC2B-BIg 

Jim & Jay usually break men down, but this week they’re building men up. A lot of men are doing great things, and in this special episode the guys highlight some of them with their first annual "Men We Like" list. Plus, Jay passes for a much younger man, Jim senses happiness lurking around the corner, and debate over the best things to do in the pool gets heated, in more ways than one.

Men learn masculinity from their fathers and pass it on to their sons. This week, Jim & Jay discuss their own experiences of fatherhood and sonship: what went well, what could have gone better, and what they hope the next generation will improve on. The guys also chat about the virtues of psychedelics, nudist colonization, and the most unbelievable human accomplishments. Plus, Jim learns a shocking secret about this very podcast that could change everything.

If having a good job is required to be a man, it’s no wonder men are breaking down. Jim & Jay discuss why most men hate their jobs, why we don’t all work 15-hour weeks, and why it’s so painful to fall short of expectations. Also, Jim celebrates partnership, Jay embraces the sacred power of chocolate, and everyone tries to listen to music backwards (you know, for the satanism). Plus, stick around for Best Chucks!

Do we choose monogamy or does monogamy choose us? Is marriage bad for your health? How is deciding to get married like riding an escalator? This week, Jim & Jay tackle these and other tough questions about The Three Ms. They also explore the mysterious logic of telemarketing, recall the wonders of Real Sex on HBO, and definitively determine that Jay is a lover not a fighter. Plus the guys pick which First Ladies they most wish could swap places with their husbands.

What if there’s nothing wrong with me? What do you think about that, Jesus?! Jim & Jay open up about how some of their Christian experiences encouraged self-hatred, preyed on weakness, and normalized male privilege. Jim also explains why he started shutting down his emotions, and how a Catholic monk turned him into a Buddhist. Plus, the guys chat about the early days of HBO and MTV, the loss of the original Star Wars lasers, and the question: is it still an 80s song if you didn’t hear it until the 90s?

Which came first Christianity or Patriarchy? How has the church propped up inequality? Is the bible hopelessly infected with male superiority? Jim & Jay discuss these and other questions about role of religion in promoting sexism. The guys also chat about the middle-class satisfaction of golf, the moral dilemma of My Pillows, and how Rupert Murdoch is like Mr. Burns. Plus, they pick their favorite articles of clothing and explain why pajamas are better when they DO catch on fire.

Many people who are not men, are afraid of men. And they have good reasons. This week, Jim & Jay discuss why men are scary and how they can respond to the fear they provoke. Also, Jay shares his love of acoustic guitars and harmony while Jim pays tribute a Savannah hero everyone should know. Plus, the guys pick their favorite sit-com moms, debate Jim’s new baseball team, and shit on vile racist John C. Calhoun (seriously, fuck that guy).

Why is it so hard for men to make and keep friends? Will better friendships really make men happier and healthier? Recording in-person for the first time, Jim & Jay discuss men’s “friendship recession.” The guys also note how close Jay came to being Ryan Gosling, scoff at calls for decorum, and pick the best “readily available” cuisines. Plus, Jim advocates for Russian dressing, even during a war, and Jay contends life is worth living mostly because of carbs.  Links to articles mentioned in the show. Plus, after we recorded, the Surgeon General said loneliness is worse for you than smoking.https://apnews.com/article/surgeon-general-loneliness-334450f7bb5a77e88d8085b178340e19https://www.americansurveycenter.org/commentary/american-men-suffer-a-friendship-recession/https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/23323556/men-friendship-loneliness-isolation-masculinityhttps://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/28/well/family/male-friendship-loneliness.htmlhttps://www.chefspencil.com/most-popular-ethnic-cuisines-in-america/

Jim opens up about a new phase in his marriage and the pain of facing past failures, while Jay shares conflicted feelings about work. The guys discuss how debilitating shame can be, the role of competition in male relationships, and one decent insight from a 1990s relationship book. Also, Jim cheats at Encyclopedia Brown books, Jay rants about the misnaming of monkey bars, and everyone’s favorite childhood books reveal surprising insights.

If we live in a patriarchy, and patriarchy privileges men over women, then why are so many men breaking down? Jim & Jay dive into this conundrum and discuss the many ways patriarchy sucks for everyone. The guys also chat about the weather, Jay’s thwarted love of dance, and the majesty of Caitlin Clark. Plus, Jim advocates for an “attitude of gratitude” (but is he being serious or ironic?) and Jay claims the best baseball player ever is overrated.

In the 1980s, only action heroes had crazy muscles, now everyone has to look like an action hero (even philosophy professors). In this episode, Jim & Jay “marvel” at the increased body image pressure faced by men, and the toll it takes on men’s physical and mental health. The guys also share childhood experiences that taught them about masculinity, shout out their favorite anti-drug commercial, and pick their favorite imaginary creatures of diminutive size. Plus, Jay reflects on protesting against Atlanta’s “Cop City,” while Jim notes the value of clever branding in social justice movements.

Do you know the brilliant work of Mileva Marić? Zelda Fitzgerald? Marcia Lucas? How about Albert Einstein, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and George Lucas? Hmmmm, I wonder why some of those people are more familiar? This week, Jim & Jay talk about women you’ve never heard of who collaborated with men who are household names, and muse over whether intellectual theft is an essential quality of masculinity. They also ask if billionaires should give up philanthropy in favor of paying taxes, and argue over which Disney Princess rules them all. Plus, Jay badmouths the most successful animated movie in history, Jim proclaims we should all be in therapy, and everyone craps on Jar Jar Binks.

If you like hearing men give off-the-cuff rants about the inequality faced by women, this one’s for you! Jim & Jay continue their conversation about the dos and don’ts of manhood, delving into men’s drive to show strength through violence and the limitations placed on men’s expression of emotion. Meanwhile, Jim shares a life lesson from the poker table, Jay proposes edits to romantic comedy movies, and someone’s picks for best Kevin Bacon movies raise intriguing questions about childhood trauma.

Jim & Jay discuss the dos and don’ts of manhood and share personal experiences about the drive for achievement, falling short of expectations, and what 80s movies taught them about the desperate need to get laid. Also, Jay opens up about how he handles rejection as a writer, and Jim reflects on the life of Jimmy Carter while recalling a personal encounter with the former president. The guys close the episode by picking their favorite terrifying weather events, and revealing which formerly Christian nation is punished by God with 75% of the world's tornadoes.

Who are these two random guys and why should you listen to anything they have to say? Find out in this slightly-shorter-than-normal intro/teaser/aperitif episode. Jim & Jay explain why they decided to start a podcast about masculinity and what they hope to bring to the conversation, even though they are definitely NOT experts. They also discuss how long they have been friends, why this show is laced with 80s references, and the importance of not kink shaming people who enjoy overhearing their roommates having sex.