Brine Weekly

Mrs. McClaven fails to retain her Sons.

Mrs. McClaven fails to make a purchase.

Mrs. McClaven fails to find peace in her new vocation.

Mrs. McClaven fails to correctly exhume a coffin.

Mrs. McClaven fails to release a man from his personal Hell.

Mrs. McClaven fails to correctly depart a bus.

Mrs. McClaven fails to attend a film.

KJZZ is currently experiencing some technical difficulties.

Have a ton of vacation days but find your self-worth is tied entirely to your job? Want to have some free time to finally learn how to vape? Want to be able to examine your grandmother's shell collection in peace? Then try a workcation! It's like a vacation, but where you go to work!

Leave your house and get on a plane. Think about popular unaired sitcoms. Think about maybe losing some weight. Then get a little messy on alcohol-free mimosas and say some regrettable things to your S.C.U.B.A. instructor. Remember, it's an acronym, and the 'S' stands for 'sex.'

This week on Brine Weekly, two coal miners make several surprising discoveries about their world and themselves. Meanwhile, in Fever Ditch, Ohio, everyone spends the day at the beach selecting their favorite Beach Bod.

Healthman Cleanbody gives some more useful health tips, before we go to a lonely house somewhere in America's heartland, where two lonely traveling salesmen try to honor the glorious past of their ancient craft. Also, a man fucks a Jeep.

A wife sets out on her own, looking for answers. A great writer's life is remembered. A man puts on his daddy's ridin' boots. The Husky Boys are back in town.

This week on Brine Weekly, we put aside the joke-times and ha-has to discuss a very real issue: Jerkman's Disorder.

As we all know, life is a contest to see who can live to be the oldest and most decrepit. And let me tell you right now: you're losing.

Join us in a pitch black bathroom stall and we'll whisper secrets to each other. You know, secrets to be broadcast around the country. Then we can go get arrested by Boat Cop and celebrate our beautiful wedding with corpse fireworks. This description makes sense, right? I can't really tell anymore.

In honor of our steamy, saucy, 69th episode, we've put together a collection of the hottest sketches we could find.

Becoming a dad is a strange and difficult process, which is why all over the world dads gather to discuss their hopes and fears in a comforting and supportive environment. We take you to one such meeting. Later, you can sit with your dad and watch the 47-hour Baby Baphomet marathon together.

Paige's Pages returns for one last desperate hurrah, Gobbo invites you to join his fan club for a nominal fee, and we share EXCLUSIVE AUDIO retrieved from the highly private and embarrassing double sex therapy sess--wait, have we been here before?

Come in, come in. Lie down with me in this wildly swinging hammock. I have some questions to ask you. Hold on to these electrodes. They'll measure how conductive you are. No, don't worry about it. It's just electricity. It's good for you. Now, what's your earliest Garfield memory?

It's time to catch up with old friends, and order the usual: some fries, some dog food...you know, the usual. Just don't choke before your head melts.

This week, we take a trip to a very special place. Where a nominal fee can solve just about every problem. Where vaping by the retention pond is a town pastime. Where Big Dog shirts are considered business casual. Where a mayor saves up to buy a motorcycle, and with it...happiness? Welcome to Fever Ditch, Ohio

Corporations are people too, which is why we're bringing you this special all-corporate episode of Brine Weekly. Some companies make a lot of different household products that we use and enjoy every day. Some make featureless objects that you have to assemble yourself. And some just bring you pictures of big goofy weiners. They're all special and important parts of modern society, and their underrepresented voices deserve to be heard much more than your dumb voice does, loser.

Healthcare is a major issue facing our society today. Many people do not have access to healthcare and must try to get free treatment from their medical examiner friends. Others only have access to healthcare when it is too late all their family is lost at The Fight. The government should do something so that people can have healthcare. It is bad for people to die because they do not have healthcare, but, sadly, it does, happen every day, it seems. This and many other issues should be fixed by our congress and also president. In conclusion, someone should figure out what Lindsey Buckingham is doing and if he is nude.

What do online dating, sauce cults, and the weekend have in common? No, really, I'm asking you. I just want to find out. Please tell me! I've been trying to solve this riddle for 35 years!

This is not my beautiful, inescapable office. This is not my beautiful job as a parole officer. Dogs, wizards, food slurries, and the deceptive nature of FX's Justified discussed throughout.

If you're looking to spice up your sex life with a new computer, then have we got a deal for you! You'll just have to endure an oily handshake, some good (or possibly bad?) breath, and a baby that could bench press you. Either way, you're gonna spend about $9,000.

This week, we bring you a scene from a used book store. There is a woman, and a tiny man, and a large, loud man. Concepts and images are presented: the image of Ender from Ender's Game as Sonic the Hedgehog. A dollar bill worn as a tunic. Canings. A defunct book review radio program. Kangaroo milk. Enjoy.

What started out as a fun three hour tour for the squad turned into twelve years on Cop Island. This week: Deputy Razzle finds a HAM radio on the beach. Will this be the squad's salvation, or is it just an attempt by the Blue Crab Gang to identify the rat in their midst? Find out this week, on COP ISLAND.

It's important to clap so you can sync up everybody's tracks. It's important to do this every day, as frequently as possible.

EXCLUSIVE AUDIO retrieved from the highly private and embarrassing double sex therapy session of two total weirds. Also, order at a classic American diner and then diet off the calories with the help of ZORKON!

You're surrounded. A man is on acid jazz, and the Grape Ape wants to tell you his political opinions. You're surrounded. In stereo.

You meet in an inn, and embark on an epic quest to discover how Martha is doing, how you'll die 20 consecutive times, and various other facts about chests, cats, and ray guns.

Have you been to Germany? Have you REALLY? Are you willing to fight Gobbo for a crab brooch (worth 500G)? How much do you know about the lost alternate universe Seinfeld episodes? I thought so.

Dusty McClavin helps you get your chakras aligned for the new year. Paige's Pages returns with a new spin. And a chance meeting between two men chances again. All this and more...INSIDE YOUR COMPUTER.

The Libertine is back, and this time he's THIRSTY. Speaking of which, do you VAPE, bro? If you do, you may end up in the HOSPITAL, which is not a good place to spend THE NEW YEAR. Okay, I covered all the sketches. Can I go now? Please. Please, I'm so hungry. Please let me out. I just want to see my family agai--

We’re in hiding his week, so please enjoy Fritz Milchmacher’s classic sound experiment Yogurt Master. Actually, it’s by Michael Arthur (who also does our music).

It’s time to coat your family in yogurt and gather around the fire to get all crusty for the holidays. Bring along the sounds and smells of the midwest, a sexy slip-and-slide, and an escape pod. Just in case.

Celebrate the glorious locomotive! Trains move along a track! How delightful! O trains, our souls exalt in thee! Gouge them fully with your powerful pistons! Fill our stomachs with Hot Pockets and our OkCupid profiles with lies! Purchase us XXS men's pants at Lane Bryant! Amen.

This week we take you on a tour of some of our favorite graves, get some bad news from your doctor, and give you some tips on where to put your drum kit. Plus a promotional message from the local Dildo Emporium.

A Brinesgiving special mega-Brine! Join us at the table in complete darkness with our effigy of Ansapin and painting of Multimouth as we feast on cheese curd and raw chicken. It's holidays!

How do you lose a son? How do you waste $61 million? How do you create the universe? How can we agree on anything? These answers, and a surprising French Lick, this week on Brine Weekly.

Let yourself go cuckoo-nutso from the power of acid jazz this week as we take you on a crazy trip through the world of convenience stores, eBay stores, gin that makes you feel bad, and square dogs.

Flirt with danger by engaging in CRIMES in this week's episode. Live vicariously through the crimes of others. Commit crimes using only your thoughts. Think about your dome. Listen to ska. It's ALL dangerous.

Our friends at BFRA Cynergy Solutions are dedicate to fulfilling all your needs, from all your important garage tools to delicious and refreshing children's juice-style beverages. Also, another excerpt from Hemingway and Faulkner's correspondence, a word from Tostitos, and much more.

Shocktober nears its end, and we all swallow our Placebrex to remain calm while learning about the deeper mysteries of Frasier. Meanwhile, a shady deal goes wrong.

Shocktober continues as we share a very dark and ominous night dream, reveal the hidden history of Goosebumps, and some easy tips on staying healthy.

Show your patriotism by joining us in our tribute to the national anthem of the Philippines. Also, we continue our celebration of Shocktober by sharing an intimate conversation between a witch and her beloved niece. Plus, the Things are listed.

Dusty returns from his meditation retreat with the feeling he forgot about something. Maybe he should be checking his voicemail more often. Meanwhile, Miranda Boxawine returns with another very special Sugar and Spite, and we get some advice about dining out.

Blowtember continues with a special announcement from the Explodin' Corpse Celebration Hut. Also: Dusty McClavin gets some interesting news from his tree-removal service, a businessman has a change of heart, a useful new telephone service is announced, and Father and Son return to the Fight once again.