Business Slang

#slang Xerox SubsidyEuphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace. Categories: slang

#slang Under Mouse Arrest Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of conduct. "Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest." Categories: slang

#slang Swiped OutAn ATM or credit card that has been used so much its magnetic strip is worn away. Categories: slang

#slang CobwebA WWW site that never changes. Categories: slang

#slang Chip Jewelry Old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decoration. "I paid three grand for that Mac and now it's nothing but chip jewelry." Categories: slang

#slang Starter MarriageA short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets. Categories: slang

#slang Open-Collar WorkersPeople who work at home or telecommute. Categories: slang

#slang 404 Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, "404 Not Found," which means the document requested couldn't be located. "Don't bother asking John. He's 404." Categories: slang

#slang SITCOMs ("Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage") What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Categories: slang

#slang Idea HamstersPeople whose idea generators are always running. Categories: slang

#slang Link RotThe process by which web page's links become obsolete as the sites they're connected to change or die. Categories: slang

#slang Chainsaw ConsultantAn outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands. Categories: slang

#slang Plug-and-Play A new hire who doesn't require training. "That new guy is totally plug-and-play." Categories: slang

#slang Salmon Day The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. "God, today was a total salmon day!" Categories: slang

#slang Brain Fart A byproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly; a burst of useful information. "I know you're busy on the Microsoft story, but can you give us a brain fart on the Mitnik bust?" Variation of old hacker slang that had more negative connotations. Categories: slang

#slang CLM (Career Limiting Move) Used by microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. "Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM." Categories: slang

#slang High DomeEgghead, scientist, PhD Categories: slang

#slang Umfriend One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in: "...this is Dale, my umfriend." Categories: slang

#slang Alpha Geek The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "I dunno, ask Rick. He's our alpha geek." Categories: slang

#slang Crapplet A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted 30 minutes downloading that crapplet!" Categories: slang

#slang BlamestormingA group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible. Categories: slang

#slang Mouse PotatoThe online generation's answer to the couch potato. Categories: slang

#slang TreewareHacker slang for documentation or other printed material. Categories: slang

#slang Glazing Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open; a popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he notice that by the second session half the room was glazing?" Categories: Glazing slang

#slang GOOD jobA "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again. Categories: slang

#slang Graybar Land The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). "That CAD rendering put me in graybar land for like an hour." Categories: slang

#slang EgosurfingScanning the Net, databases, etc., for one's own name. Categories: slang

#slang OhnosecondThat minuscule fraction of time during which you realize you've just made a terrible error. Categories: slang

#slang GenericaFast food joints, strip malls, sub-divisions as in "we were so lost in generica that I couldn't remember what city it was". Categories: slang

#slang BetamaxedWhen a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior but better marketed competition as in "Microsoft betamaxed Apple right out of the market" Categories: slang

#slang Chips and Salsa Chips = hardware, salsa = software. "First we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa." Categories: slang

#slang Dead Tree EditionThe paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms. Categories: slang

#slang Dilberted To be exploited and oppressed by your boss, as is Dilbert, the comic strip character. "Damn, I've been dilberted again! The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week." Categories: slang

#slang Gray MatterOlder, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms trying to appear more professional and established. Categories: slang

#slang AdminisphereThe rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant. Categories: slang

#slang Dorito Syndrome The feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome." Categories: slang

#slang Yuppie Food CouponsTwenty dollar bills from an ATM. Categories: slang

#slang AssmosisThe process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. Categories: slang

#slang Bookmark To take note of a person for future reference. "After seeing his cool demo at Siggraph, I bookmarked him." Categories: slang

#slang CGI JoeA hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure. Categories: slang

#slang Cube FarmAn office filled with cubicles. Categories: slang

#slang IrritainmentEntertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example. Categories: slang

#slang Percussive MaintenanceThe fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. Categories: slang

#slang WOOFYS Well Off Older Folks. Fred's parents made great financial decisions early in life, causing them to become woofy's. They are currently spending Fred's inheritance, causing Fred to have ballistic coniptions. Categories: slang

#slang Elvis YearThe peak year of popularity as in "1993 was Barney the dinosaur's Elvis year" Categories: slang

#slang Prairie DoggingWhen something loud happens in a cube farm, causing heads to pop up over the walls trying to see what's going on. Categories: slang

#slang Stress PuppyA person who thrives on being stressed-out and whiny. Categories: slang

#slang Flight RiskUsed to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon. Categories: slang

#slang UninstalledEuphemism for being fired. Also: decruitment. Categories: slang