But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems
by Dr. Kristin & Dr. Laura
Welcome to But Why? — real talk on messy minds and messier systems.Hosted by two psychologists, Kristin and Laura, we dive deep into the psychology of human experience: from mental health and identity to power, culture, and the systems that shape our lives.Expect thoughtful conversations, critical questions, and honest reflections on how people—and the world—really work. No self-help platitudes. No easy answers. Just meaningful, accessible dialogue for curious minds.Topics we explore: • Psychology and mental health • Identity, feminism, and culture • Neurodivergence and lived experience • Systemic power and social changeNew episodes every week. Subscribe to join the conversation.#PsychologyPodcast #MentalHealth #CultureAndIdentity #RealTalkPodcast
Episodes
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But Why Is the Manosphere So Predictable? | Insecurity, Power & the Psychology of Backlash
This week, Kristin is joined by sociologist Dr. Randall Blazak to unpack the Into the Manosphere documentary and why, for anyone who studies power, it’s not shocking at all. Because what looks like “self-help for men”… starts to look very different when you zoom out. We get into: • Why the...
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But Why Does Christmas Feel So Bittersweet? | Part 3: Boundaries & Actually Enjoying the Holidays
We’ve talked nostalgia. We’ve talked stress. Now we’re getting real about how to survive the season with your sanity intact. In Part 3 of our Christmas series, Kristin and Laura tackle the big one: why this season feels so exhausting, and what we can actually do about it. This one’s for anyone...
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But Why Does Christmas Feel So Bittersweet? | Part 2: Why the Holidays Burn Us Out
In Part 2 of our holiday series, Kristin and Laura peel back the glitter to talk about the real stress under the tinsel...from sensory overload and grief to the gendered emotional labour that keeps the “magic” going. We unpack: Why the holidays feel more emotionally intense than joyful How old...
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But Why Does Christmas Feel So Bittersweet? | Part 1: Nostalgia, Identity & Holiday Expectations
In Part 1 of our holiday series, we deck the halls...and then unpack why it never quite feels the way it used to. Kristin and Laura get reflective (and slightly existential) about the bittersweet nature of Christmas nostalgia: Why does the run-up feel more magical than the day itself? Why do we...
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But Why is Politics so Messy? | Part 3: Psychology and the Politics of Resistance
In Part 3 of our But Why is Politics so Messy? series, we close with the big one: What can we actually do? After breaking down how people get pulled into harmful political narratives, Kristin and Laura flip the lens to explore how we resist authoritarianism without losing our minds (or…
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But Why is Politics so Messy? | Part 2: The Myth of the Rational Voter (with Keegan Tatum)
In Part 2 of our Messy Politics series, Kristin and Laura are joined by political psychology creator Keegan Tatum to unpack why logic rarely drives political decision-making...and why it’s actually our emotions that vote first. We explore the myth of the rational voter and ask: Why people stay...
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But Why is Politics so Messy? | Part 1: The Psychology of Political Paralysis
Part 1 of our new series: But Why is Politics so Messy? In a world on fire, why do so many people double down, look away…or stay stuck? In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore the psychology of political identity and why some people cling to harmful ideologies while others retreat into…
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But Why Do We Create Monsters? | Part 3: Fear, Projection & the Psychology of Horror
Part 3 of our Halloween series: Monsters as Mirrors If monsters reflect our fears, what does it say that we keep making them? In this final episode of our Halloween trilogy, Kristin and Laura dig deep into the psychology of monstering, from ancient instincts to modern media. We explore how and…
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But Why Do We Create Monsters? | Part 2: Witches, Werewolves & the Cultural Fear Machine
️ Part 2 of our Halloween series: Monsters as Mirrors ️ If today’s monsters reflect modern fears…what were we afraid of 500 years ago? In this time-travelling episode, Kristin and Laura head back to the past to ask: where did our monsters come from, and what were they covering up? From witch…
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But Why Do We Create Monsters? | Part 1: Fear, Power & Projection in the Modern Age
This is Part 1 of our special Halloween series: Monsters as Mirrors What if our monsters say more about us than them? In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore how monsters are a social mirror...a way for powerful systems to project fear, control bodies, and avoid accountability. From witches to...
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But Why Are Women Falling Down the Rabbit Hole? | Part 3: Shame, Identity & The Exit From the Alt-Right Pipeline
In the final episode of our alt-right pipeline series, we explore what happens after the soft aesthetics and curated control stop working. Kristin and Laura dig into the messy, often shame-filled reality of trying to leave a system that promised empowerment and control, but in reality, delivers...
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But Why Are Women Falling Down the Rabbit Hole? | Part 2: Wellness, Language & the Alt-Right Pipeline for Women
In Part 2 of our series on the alt-right pipeline for women, we explore how wellness aesthetics and therapeutic language become tools of discipline, not liberation. Kristin and Laura dissect the soft side of authoritarianism - how empowerment becomes obedience, rest becomes performance, and the...
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But Why Are Women Falling Down the Rabbit Hole? | Part 1: Femininity, Fear & the Alt-Right Pipeline
In Part 1 of our three-part series, Kristin, Laura, and special guest Jess Britvich explore how women are being pulled into the alt-right — not with overt violence, but with pastel aesthetics, self-help promises, and weaponised femininity. Together, we explore: • How tradwife culture makes...
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But Why Is My Brain So Overwhelmed? | The Psychology of Sensory Processing and Sensory Stress
Sometimes it's the spoon scraping the bowl. Or the tag on your shirt. Or the wind in your ears. And suddenly...it's all too much. In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack the messy, invisible world of sensory stress and how it shapes daily life for many people (often neurodivergent). From…
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But Why Are Men Fighting Gorillas? | Masculinity, Burnout & the Myth of Invulnerability
What do silverback gorillas, burnout, and barstool bravado have in common? More than you think. In this brilliantly bizarre episode, Kristin and Laura are joined by psychologist and burnout researcher Dr. Pete Olusoga to unpack why 100 men vs 1 gorilla became a cultural obsession — and what it...
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But Why Are We Always Trying to Fix Ourselves? | Self-Improvement, Burnout & Capitalism in Disguise
From sleep scores to step counts, even our joy is being tracked. But who is all this “self-improvement” really for? In this episode, Kristin and Laura ask what happens when being human stops being the goal and starts being a problem to fix. They unpack the rise of over-optimization, how…
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But Why Do We Get So Defensive? | Shame, Identity & The Psychology Behind the Pushback
From “not all men” to “I was just joking,” defensiveness is everywhere. But what’s really going on underneath? In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack the psychology of defensiveness - how it protects us, how it shows up in everyday interactions, and how it connects to deeper systems of power....
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But Why Are Men Falling for This? | The Psychology of the Manosphere, Misogyny & Modern Masculinity
In this special guest episode, Kristin and Laura are joined by Oliver Niehaus to explore why so many men and boys are being pulled into the Manosphere. From red pill influencers to anti-intellectual rants and fragile masculinity, we unpack: • Why the manosphere sells grievance disguised as growth…
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But Why Is Joy "Basic" for Women? | Gendered Taste, Cultural Shame & Internalized Misogyny
In this thought-provoking episode, Kristin and Laura ask why women’s joy so often gets dismissed as “basic.” From Taylor Swift fandoms to fantasy novels, they unpack the deep psychological roots of how gendered taste is constructed—and why we feel guilty for what we love. They dive into: • Why...
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But Why Are Boys Turning to Misogyny? | Masculinity, Media & the World of Adolescence
In this episode, Kristin and Laura take a psychological deep dive into Netflix’s Adolescence, a gripping series that explores how one teenage boy ends up committing an unthinkable act. But instead of focusing on who did it, the show—and this conversation—asks why. Together, we explore: • What…
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But Why Is Sport Still Built for Men? | How History, Media & Misogyny Keep Women Out
From Yorkie bars to Olympic podiums, women in sport have always faced more than just the competition. In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore how sport has been systematically shaped to exclude women — and how this exclusion is still happening today. From overt bans in the 20th century to…
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But Why Does Progress Always Scare Them? | A Backlash History of Women’s Rights
From bicycles to boardrooms, women’s progress has always triggered backlash. In this episode, Kristin and Laura trace a powerful throughline across 140 years of history — showing how each leap forward for women has been met with a push to drag them back. We unpack: • Why “bicycle face” was…
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But Why Don’t We Feel Motivated? | Self-Determination Theory, Burnout & the Myth of Willpower
Is it burnout, is it capitalism, or are you just lazy? (Spoiler: it’s not the last one.) In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack what motivation actually is — and why we keep expecting ourselves to push through exhaustion like it’s a personal failure. Guided by Self-Determination Theory (SDT),...
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But Why Are We Still Getting Sport So Wrong? | Myths, Misogyny & the Stories Women Aren’t Telling
In this episode, Kristin and Laura are joined by Amy and Jen to unpack their latest books Myths of Sport Performance and Women Working in Sport. From gender bias in coaching to the emotional toll of surviving male-dominated spaces, we explore: • Why performance myths won’t die — and who profits...
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But Why Don’t Resolutions Work? | Goal Setting, Burnout & Being Kinder to Ourselves
It’s our holiday party and we’re breaking down the science (and the BS) of New Year’s resolutions — all while sipping wine, comparing tattoos, and trying not to set anything on fire. In this festive-but-serious episode, Kristin and Laura explore: • Why so many resolutions fall apart by February •...
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But Why Is Burnout Different for Us? | Autism, ADHD & the Cost of Hiding Who We Are
In this follow-up to our general burnout episode, Kristin and Laura explore what burnout looks like through a neurodivergent lens — and why it so often goes unrecognised, misdiagnosed, or misunderstood. Between chaotic mornings, ADHD hyperfocus, executive dysfunction, and autistic masking, we...
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But Why Are We All Burnt Out? | The Psychology, Politics & Pressure Behind Exhaustion
We were going to do something light and fun. But then… we remembered we’re burnt out. In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore the complex emotional, physical, and political layers of burnout — not just as a personal feeling, but as a symptom of the systems we live in. Between rainbow…
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But Why Does Everything Feel So Personal? | The Socioecological Model & The Systems Shaping Us
Why do we blame ourselves for things that aren’t really our fault? In this deeply human (and deeply caffeinated) episode, Kristin and Laura explore the socioecological model — a powerful psychological framework that explains how our personal struggles are shaped by the people, places, and…
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But Why Is Mental Health Still So Misunderstood? | Wellbeing & the Psychology of Feeling Human
Is it anxiety? Is it burnout? Or are you just human in a broken world? In this vulnerable and wide-ranging episode, Kristin and Laura dive deep into what mental health really means — and why it’s often confused with mental illness. Through personal stories, psychology frameworks, and way too many...
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But Why Does Speaking Up Still Feel Risky? | Psychological Safety, Power & Performance Culture
From silent meetings to shouty comment sections, what makes some spaces feel safe — and others, like you can’t speak at all? In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack the concept of psychological safety — not just as a corporate buzzword, but as a critical piece of being human. Rooted in decades…
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But Why Do Witches Still Haunt Us? | How Misogyny & Media Keep the Witch Alive
In Part 2 of our Halloween series, we move from broomsticks to boardrooms — exploring how the witch trials never truly ended. Kristin and Laura dive into how the image of the witch morphed into modern misogyny, media tropes, and political smear campaigns. From Sabrina the Teenage Witch to Hillary...
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But Why Are Women Still Being Burned at the Stake? | Witch Hunts, Patriarchy & Historical Misogyny
TW: This episode contains mentions/discussions around difficult topics such as death, sexual assault, and assault more broadly. Why were witches really hunted — and why does it still matter today? In this Halloween special of But Why: Real talk on messy minds and messier systems, psychologists...
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But Why Is Sexism Still a Thing? | Ambivalent Sexism and Gender Roles
TW: This episode discusses potentially distressing topics such as sexism and related topics (e.g., harassment or assault) Why does sexism still feel so damn relentless in 2024? In this episode of But Why: Real talk on messy minds and messier systems, psychologists Kristin and Laura unpack...
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But Why Is Being Ourselves So Hard? | Identity, Authenticity & Performing for Belonging
From band t-shirts to burnout, Kristin and Laura ask a deceptively simple question: why is it so hard to just be ourselves? In this honest and often hilarious episode, they unpack the psychology of identity — how it’s formed, how it’s performed, and what happens when it doesn’t match our sense of...
About this show
Welcome to But Why? — real talk on messy minds and messier systems.Hosted by two psychologists, Kristin and Laura, we dive deep into the psychology of human experience: from mental health and identity to power, culture, and the systems that shape our lives.Expect thoughtful conversations, critical questions, and honest reflections on how people—and the world—really work. No self-help platitudes. No easy answers. Just meaningful, accessible dialogue for curious minds.Topics we explore: • Psychology and mental health • Identity, feminism, and culture • Neurodivergence and lived experience • Systemic power and social changeNew episodes every week. Subscribe to join the conversation.#PsychologyPodcast #MentalHealth #CultureAndIdentity #RealTalkPodcast
Hosted by
Dr. Kristin & Dr. Laura