PODCAST · comedy
Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson
by PodcastOne
Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.
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(Replay) 90 - The Limp Wrist Committee
(Original broadcast June 5, 2024)In this episode, The Counselors talk all things Pride Month, drive-in theaters, and argue the existence of dinosaurs!Sponsors➜ Feel your best self, every day with IM8. Go to IM8health.com/CAMPCOUNSELORS and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS for a Free Welcome Kit, 5 free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order.➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Protect your teeth with Remi at ShopRemi.com/camp and use code CAMP to get 50% off your new night guard.➜ Go to REVOLVE.com/CAMP to shop and use code CAMP for 15% off your entire order.➜ See less carts go abandoned and more sales go with Shopify. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at Shopify.com/campSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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(Replay) Pantsless with A Broken Ankle In The Bounce House - Trail Mix #53
(Original broadcast Sep 30, 2024)In this episode of Trail Mix, the counselors read submitted stories about a camper's date with a major celebrity's son, a videographer at a funeral, and a bounce house story that will have you wanting to bounce off the face of the Earth.Sponsors➜ Download Cash App Today ! Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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185 - WE ARE ENGAGED!
Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson are engaged! In this special episode of Camp Counselors Podcast, we’re sharing the full story of our engagement weekend in Maine. After six years of dating, we’re spilling the details on how the proposal happened, from the road trip to Acadia National Park, to the private beach moment where Zachariah got down on one knee. And we couldn't be happier!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!Sponsors:➜Sleep cooler this summer with Boll & Branch with 20% off sitewide at BollAndBranch.com/camp use code camp. This is a limited time offer.➜ Go to GoodChop.com/podcast and use code 50camp to get $50 off plus free shipping on your first order of high quality meat delivered right to your door!➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Feel your best self, every day with IM8. Go to IM8health.com/CAMPCOUNSELORS and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS for a Free Welcome Kit, 5 free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Busch Light Apple Ruined Me (Beautifully) - Trail Mix #135
In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper and her possible daughter’s stolen identity, a cross-state mission for Bapple, and a dermatologist appointment that did not go as planned.Sponsors:➜ Shop summer-ready activewear at Fabletics.com/camp to get 70–80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP!➜ Stay hydrated on the go this summer at LiquidIV.com and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS to get 20% off your first purchase! ➜ Stop settling for wines that don’t quite hit the mark! Head to TryFirstleaf.com/camp to get 50% off your first box PLUS free shipping for an entire year.➜ This Father’s Day, give Dad a gift that captures who he really is. Order now and save up to $20 at StoryWorth.com/counselors➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMPWant BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here!Social Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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184 - Cable Box Divas
In this episode we YEARN for cable TV. Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, ABC Family (then turning into freeform? like what was that??) and the list goes on an on and on like a scrolling tv guide. We also cover the news story of a grandma's prom obsession dreams coming true, and a hot air balloon flopp yet again.... ugh. Lots to do lots to say!This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!Sponsors:➜ This year, give Dad a gift that captures who he really is! Order StoryWorth RIGHT NOW and save up to $20 at StoryWorth.com/counselors➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.Works Cited:➜ Flintrop, Crystal. “Teen Fulfills Lifelong Promise of Taking His Grandmother to Prom: ‘It’s Her Dream.’” KBTX, 4 May 2026.➜ “Mind If We Drop In? Hot Air Balloon with 13 Aboard Makes Emergency Landing in California Backyard.” NBC News, 20 Apr. 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Gutter Ball Daddy - Trail Mix #134
In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories!Sponsors:➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Go to zbiotics.com/CAMP15 to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use CAMP15 at checkout.➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here!Social Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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183 - Dear SodaStream: Forgive Me (TELL ALL)
In this episode of Camp Counselors, we’re taking flight with absolutely no flight plan. Spicy requests, smooth move tea, SodaStreams, musical greeting cards, sun lounger lawsuits, hootie AND his blowfish.This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!Sponsors:➜ Go to Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back.Works Cited:➜ Shkurtaj, Tereza. “Woman, 24, Tracks Down 72-Year-Old Man Who Used to Have Her Phone Number After She Receives Cryptic Text from Stranger (Exclusive).” People, 2 May 2026.➜ Thomas, Garvin. “San Francisco Woman Gets Photographer’s Old Number. It Changes Both Their Lives.” NBC Bay Area, 3 May 2026.➜ “German Tourist Wins Payout after Losing 6am Race for Sun Lounger.” The Times, 6 May 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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OOPSIE! My Crock Pot Kitchen Fire - Trail Mix 133
In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a Crock Pot kitchen nightmare, a sweaty night at the club with Jwoww, and a center stage fart!Sponsors:➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp (and use code: camp) to get up to 20% off during the Memorial Day Sale! Exclusions apply. See site for details.➜ Protect your teeth with Remi at ShopRemi.com/camp and use code CAMP to get 50% off your new night guard! Exclusions apply. See site for details.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here!Social Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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182 - RUDE: UFO Did NOT Probe Me!
In this episode of Camp Counselors, we are invading the world of alien abductions, UFO sightings, Goldie Hawn’s emotional alien encounter, and discuss what WE BELIEVE aliens actually look like. Naturally, this leads to Jersey Shore clips, Area 51 theories, and a VERY open invitation for aliens to come on the podcast with final edit approval. (If yall are reading this out there please email our team or respond via crop circle, whichever is easiest for you. We know you're busy.) Then, Counselor Jonathan covers the heart stopping news story of a CPR instructor who legit had a real-ass heart attack while teaching students how to respond to one. Plus a nationwide SCAM involving mysterious packages sent from a sketchy sender named Davve (with two Vs)... This story hits home because COUNSELOR ZACHARIAH has been selected to be SCAMMED! Can you believe?! This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!Sponsors:➜ Go to GoodChop.com/podcast and use code 50camp to get $50 off plus free shipping on your first order of high quality meat delivered right to your door!➜ Feel your best self, every day with IM8. Go to IM8health.com/CAMPCOUNSELORS and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS for a Free Welcome Kit, 5 free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order.➜ Go to REVOLVE.com/CAMP to shop and use code CAMP for 15% off your entire order. Offer ends soon so don’t wait!➜ Go to Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back.➜ See less carts go abandoned and more sales go with Shopify. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at Shopify.com/camp➜ Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ThriveMarket.com/camp to get $20 off your first three orders and a FREE $60 gift.Works Cited:➜ Goodyear, Sheena. "Wisconsin EMT Saves Man Having Heart Attack on His Way to Pick Up His Own Medication." CBC Radio, 2026. Accessed 19 May 2026.➜ Kraus, Jennifer. "Brushing Scam Sends Hundreds of Mysterious White Packages to Mailboxes and Porches Across the Country." NewsChannel 5, n.d. Accessed 19 May 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This Man Secretly Lived Under My Stairs - Trail Mix #132
In this mini episode we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper with wedding-party homework and one mysterious keepsake, a spa day turned homemade waterpark, and the terrifying tale of a camper and the nightmare under the stairs.Sponsors:➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Tackle your to-do list today and get $15% off your first task at taskrabbit.com or on the TaskRabbit app using promo code campWant BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here!Social Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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181 - Oklahomos!
This week we talk about our journey of a lifetime to Thackerville, Oklahoma to see Stevie Nicks at the world’s largest casino!! We’re talking vodka Red Bulls, Panda Express pandamonium (hehe), and Zachariah finding God in a fried bologna sandwich. This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!Sponsors:➜ Shoot Your Shot is HER’s open call for event organizers and community hosts! Applications are now open HERE!➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp (and use code: camp) to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.➜ Shop now at Fabletics.com/camp to get 70% to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Limited time only.➜ Go to Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back.➜ Protect your teeth with Remi at ShopRemi.com/camp and use code CAMP to get 50% off your new night guard!Works Cited:➜ Gaikwad, Shilpy Arora. “‘Girl Power’: Women Track Down Burglars, Find Thief Wearing Their Stolen Clothes.” Stuff, 29 Apr. 2026.➜ Hollingsworth, Heather. “Identity Thief Whose Deception Led to His Victim’s Incarceration Gets a 12-Year Prison Term.” AP News, Associated Press, 31 Jan. 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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My Nightmare Passenger - Trail Mix #131
In this mini episode we are reading listener submitted stories about a drive-thru altercation between two unlikely divas, a camper who thought she was driving to work alone until someone touched her shoulder, and a nightmare first date that felt impossible to get out of.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Listen online here!Social Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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180 - Adam & Eve Improv Class
This week we open with a crime neither of us has committed but both have fully romanticized... writing bad checks! Counselor Zach has a lot of feelings about Graza olive oil. Then we are getting biblical, yall! We improv our way through the Garden of Eden and obviously reassign some roles. For real, Eve needs a complete character overhaul. Eve deserved better talent representation and we are here to fix that. This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Grace, Asia. "Chinese Carmakers Rolling Out Cars With In-Vehicle Toilet." New York Post, 17 Apr. 2026.➜ Budnick, Niki. "Causing a Catastrophe." The Weather Channel, n.d. Accessed 5 May 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Sippin Lean at Disneyland - Trail Mix #130
In this mini episode we are reading listener submitted stories about a Disneyland trip that took a downward spiral the moment grandma opened her purse, a road trip that turns into a full police kidnapping investigation, and a camper who climbed a tree on a second date and came down a different woman.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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179 - Don't Touch Grass, Twirl Your Bush!
Heyy happy campers! This week we’re unpacking hosting anxiety, seed libraries, harsh movie reviewers, driver’s licenses being revoked, and so much more. Grab your bug juice and settle in... or else.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Good News Network. "Urine From Music Festival Toilets is Fertilizing a New Biodiverse Forest With Odor-Free Nutrients." Good News Network, 11 Apr. 2026.➜ Schaller, Janek, and Megan Hall. "What Are Seed Libraries?" The Public's Radio, 31 Mar. 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Supernanny Wanted to Save My Family - Trail Mix #129
In this mini episode we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who got a call from a TV network, a reckless house party traumatized a mother, and a nightmare party that had a camper sweating her yabbos off.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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178 - We Need to Talk About Our Neighbors
This week we're pulling back the curtain on the people who have lived closest to us... for better or for absolute worse. Counselor Jonathan shares his deeply messy tenure as a college RA, Counselor Zachariah spills the tea on the saga of his previous upstairs neighbors. Zachs got a review Din Tai Fung NYC, spiral into our obsession with terrible neighbor-themed shows, plus a very un-neighborly news article about a man who got arrested for sunbathing in his own backyard. Plus a paternity test that revealed TWO DIFFERENT fathers, Buffy being an ungrateful little brat, tick bite season, pear martinis, and a deep dive into who exactly is that baby cooing on Aaliyah's "Are You That Somebody."This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ "Court of Appeal Says It Cannot Rule on Which Identical Twin Fathered a Child." The Guardian, 30 Mar. 2026. Accessed 21 Apr. 2026.➜ "Naked and Unafraid: Upstate Man Arrested for Nude Sunbathing in Backyard Raises Legal Questions." WYFF4, ca. Apr. 2026. Accessed 21 Apr. 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Begging The Pizza Delivery Driver for a Ride - Trail Mix #128
In this mini episode we are reading listener submitted stories about a high school faculty wedding that ended with a scandal nobody saw coming (except the photographer), a camper seeking shelter at a Domino's pizza, and the tale of a celebrity and a 2AM snapchat that changed everything.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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177 - Scrappy & Sore in my Juicy Couture
It's the one-year anniversary of Jonathan's hair transplant and he's celebrating in a Juicy Couture velour tracksuit and a bedazzled hat, because why the frick not? In this episode, we're having flashbacks to the great Mario Movie 4DX feud. OOopsie, did not mean to bring that back up... but we buried the hatchet (for now hehe). The we're getting into birding! It's like Pokemon Go irl, who knew? And crows?! Did yall know they can hold a grudge against a specific human for up to 17 years! Sounds like us! Then we go deep on "We Built This City" by Starship, one of the most hated songs in rock history that also hit number one on the Billboard Hot 100, which sort of proves its own point. We also have a full Backseat Lovers / Kilby Girl deep dive, and the Everest Fraud Scheme thats actually nuts.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.➜ Jonathan's 12 Month Hair Transplant Journey➜ Global Village Coffeehouse Video EssayWant BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Prasain, Sangam. “Inside Nepal’s Fake Rescue Racket.” The Kathmandu Post, 27 Mar. 2026.➜ Wethington, Paula. “‘Do You Think I’m Stupid?’ Judge Calls Out Woman for Denying She’s Driving During Zoom Hearing.” WCVB, 27 Mar. 2026.➜ Khoirotun, R. “Did You Know That Crows Can Hold Grudges for Seventeen Years?” Medium, 14 June 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Bride's Mom is A WEREWOLF! - Trail Mix #127
This week on Trail Mix, our campers went through it and we are so grateful they survived to tell us about it. A friend who MacGyvered a lost ID back from the dead using gum and a coffee stirrer at midnight, an Airbnb host who had absolutely no concept of personal boundaries, and a mom who took a bachelorette trip completely off the rails in the middle of the woods.Sponsors:➜ Shop now at Fabletics.com/camp to get 70% to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Limited time only.➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMPWant BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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176 - Controversial Mount Rushmore of Fast Food
We're creating our Mount Rushmores this week and it's getting controversial. Well... for us. We ranked our top four fast food items, Counselor Zachariah's favorite places to just walk around, and then Counselor Jonathan built an Anti Mount Rushmore of his most hated fictional characters of all time. Some of you will agree, and some of you will be on the wrong side of Shady Birch history. Either way, leave a comment I guess. Then we've got an 80-year-old cafe owner who spent a month baking a 6,000-pound carrot cake for his birthday. The Philadelphia airport set a Guinness World Record by lining up 1,291 cheesesteaks between terminals (kind of a nightmare imo). We're also ranting about a dog that would not stop barking in a hotel room, having an anxiety attack at TJ Maxx, why fireflies are the greatest bug alive, and Lisa Kudrow's The Comeback deserves more love. Its a fabulous episode, duh.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Hooper, Ben. "Cafe Owner Celebrates Birthday with 6,044-Pound Carrot Cake." UPI, 27 Mar. 2026.➜ Kulkarni, Akshay. "For His 80th Birthday, Ted Martindale and His Friends in Quesnel, B.C., Baked a 2,500-Kilogram Carrot Cake." CBC News, 26 Mar. 2026.➜ Vejpongsa, Tassanee, and Leah Willingham. "Longest Line at Philly Airport? Cheesesteaks, Not Security." Associated Press, 24 Mar. 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Pregnant by the Gay Ex-Convict Guy from Upstairs - Trail Mix #126
In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper in need of advice for supporting someone she loves through something she's never experienced herself, a camper who opened her backpack at 30,000 feet to the shock of a lifetime, and a camper who makes good money, but her workplace can only be described as a nightmare she cannot wake up from.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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175 - Hot Priest Caught Stealing From Walmart
Hey our little April Fools! In this episode we have a cup of noodle betrayal that still hasn't been resolved, and ohhhh boy a lot more. A fisherman in Texas arrested for cheating in a bass fishing tournament. Meanwhile, the head priest of a historic Pittsburgh cathedral got caught stealing baseball cards from Walmart and allegedly may have been selling sacred church artifacts on eBay. That would totally make Jesus sad. We soft-pitch ourselves as a jingle writers, Jonathan explains why words that end in "sps" should be removed from the English language immediately, and dark mode. Naturally Zachariah loses his mind over people who can unexpectedly do the splits, and there's a full dispute about eating chips in bed after you've already brushed your teeth.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ "Texas Fishing Tournament Winner Arrested over Cheating Scandal." New York Post, 10 Mar. 2026.➜ "Episcopal Priest Accused of Baseball Card Theft Resigns as Pittsburgh Cathedral Dean." Religion News Service, 16 Mar. 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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OOPSIE! I Ate The Whole Edible Arrangement - Trail Mix #125
In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a teacher who ended up sopping wet with the school nurse, a camper who lost all self control at a track meet, and has been haunted for over 16 years, and another teacher in the middle of an HR nightmare.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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174 - Homemade Pasta Is Actually Bad
We have strong opinions about pasta this week. Zachariah takes a controversial stand against homemade pasta, and Jonathan tries to take down big Manhattan clam chowder. Plus, the story of a treasure hunter who found millions in sunken gold and then sat in jail for a decade because he refused to say where the rest of it was. We also meet Luigi Primo, the Italian semi-pro wrestler whose finishing move is chucking pizza dough in his opponent's face. Zachariah buys a pole chainsaw and is LITRALLY obsessed. Plus so much more. Just listen, okay? You'll get it.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Sponsors:➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping at MeUndies.com/counselors and using our code: counselorsWant BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ "Italian Wrestler Shows Off Unique Pizza-Slinging Move in Viral Video, Pizza Hut Reacts." NDTV Food, edited by NDTV Food Desk, 13 Mar. 2026.➜ "Treasure Hunter Freed from Jail after Refusing to Turn over Shipwreck Gold." BBC News, 14 Mar. 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Dumping Bong Water on His Couch - Trail Mix #124
In this mini episode we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who was no match for basic home improvement projects, a camper who turned a minor issue into a full-BLOWN fiasco, and a harrowing tale of a camper who committed to a terrible cover-up with a splash of vodka.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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173 - From Hollywood to Hospital Hell
Wellp... this episode starts in Hollywood and somehow ends in the emergency room. We talk about Zachariah’s debut Hollywood gig, staying at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel (yuh the hotel from Pretty Woman), and a night out in WEHO before Jonathan’s injury that sent the trip off the rails and into the hospital.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ “Galway Hospital Accident Turns Mam’s Eyes ‘Alien’ Green.” Irish Star, 19 Feb. 2026.➜ “Older Male Whales More Successful at Mating Because They’re Better Singers, Shows Study.” Good News Network, 28 Feb. 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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I Was A Dominatrix Getaway Driver - Trail Mix #123
In this mini episode we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper whose Payless rain boots turned her into a gaslighting queen, a getaway driver for a local dominatrix, and a horror story about a camper who witnessed something unspeakable in a party house bathroom.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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172 - We Went to Casa Bonita!
We finally got enchiladas under the waterfall in Denver at the famous Casa Bonita! What a fever dream <3This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Reuters, “Turkey Soccer Player Gani Catan Uses CPR to Revive Seagull Struck by Ball During Playoff Match.” New York Post, 26 Feb. 2026.➜ Marshall, Colleen. “Why Millions of Dollars Is Shredded by the Federal Government Each Day.” NBC4 WCMH-TVCamp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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How I Almost Ended Up On Dateline - Trail Mix #122
Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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171 - Jonathan Got Locked Inside The Magician's Box
Sorry we missed you on Monday but we are HERE! In this episode we recap our trip to Level99 where we drank, swung from ropes, and Jonathan got locked in a magician's box. Its a super fun and obnoxious episode. love youuu!This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Lu, Donna. “Good Luck Dua Leaper: Scientists Return Frogs Wiped Out by Fungal Disease to Wild.” The Guardian, 3 Feb. 2026.➜ Corbley, Andy. “Frog Wiped Out by Disease Returns to the Wild With the Help of ‘Frog Spas’ and ‘Frog Saunas’.” Good News Network, 10 Feb. 2026.➜ “Chef Saves Customer’s Life (Shrimp Basket, Pensacola, Florida).” TODAY.com, Accessed 10 Feb. 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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170 - TSA Searched Zach's Silicone Yabbos
We’re back from the road with a fresh batch of tour tales! We were staying on the same floor as the Chicago Bulls and got the chance to train like an athlete when a fire alarm caused us to haul these big ole thighs up 13 flights of stairs! From there we get into the important stuff: the very questionable legality of NYC bodega cats, the man who broke into a Little Caesars to make and sell pizzas (kinda a hero... very Sammich coded). We address the special kind of torture that is "trying to buy concert tickets online," Canadian cafe haters on Yelp, and so much more!!This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Agence France-Presse. “New York Seeks Rights for Beloved but Illegal ‘Bodega Cats’.” The Straits Times, 10 Feb. 2026.➜ “Man Breaks into Little Caesars, Starts Making and Selling Pizzas, NC Police Say.” The Charlotte Observer, 3 Feb. 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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291
Patty's Plummet - Trail Mix #121
In this mini episode we share listener submitted stories about a camper looking to make a life change and become a work force diva, a blind dog who turned one summer night upside down, and a camper's wet and wild lake day went south.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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169 - Bussin' Down at Buc-ee's
In this episode of Camp Counselors Podcast, we continue the tour saga with a trip to Charleston, an absolutely fabulous stop for our first time at Buc-ee's, a long haul to Raleigh, and then a cute little meltdown moment when our flight to Atlanta got canceled because of a freak snowstorm. AYY!This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Frederick, Nathan. “High School Students Repair Cars and Give Them to Single Moms: ‘You’re Really Making a Change in the World.’” Good News Network, 24 Jan. 2026.➜ Tierney, Brendan. “Nashville Family Fights HOA over Generator Use during Ice Storm.” WSMV, 28 Jan. 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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I Was Paid $50 to Kick Him in the NUTS! - Trail Mix #120
In this mini episode we share listener submitted stories about a camper who went looking for romance and found a job pitch that was completely nuts, a camper on a revenge body journey that got a little too cheeky, and a camper who packed for every family emergency except the one that actually showed up.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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168 - A Fan Snuck Backstage & More Tour Confessions
This week we’re sharing the wild travel diaries from Zachariah’s Big Back Behavior Tour. From Phoenix, Arizona to Los Angeles, El Cajon, and Seattle. We kick things off in Phoenix with an unexpected obsession: Circle K?! Ummm ever heard of her?? Don't worry, Jonathan took the world's worst pictures on his new digital camera. In LA, we stayed in Beverly Hills, drove by the Playboy Mansion, and hit the road from LA to El Cajon!! Then things took a serious turn in Seattle when a fan broke into our green room. PLEASE DO NOT EVER DO THAT! Heightened security measures are now in action. As if that wasn’t enough, we got slammed by a winter storm, lost heat at home, and survived a San Diego to Boston flight that made an emergency landing in Philadelphia. Woof. It's a lot and we're getting into it all.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ “Oscar Mayer’s Wienermobile Race Is Coming Back to the Indy 500.” AP News, 26 Jan. 2026.➜ Nazzaro, Tim. “‘Difficult Decision’: Campbell’s to Close Iconic Cape Cod Chip Plant in Hyannis.” WCVB, 30 Jan. 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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I Fell Into The Septic Tank! - Trail Mix #119
In this mini episode, we are reading listener-submitted stories about a camper trapped in a family feud with a public comment section, a camper who learned the horrors below the backyard trap door, and a camper with zero spatial awareness and maximum destruction.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!SPONSORS➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMPCheck out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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(Replay) 83 - Corn Smut
Hey happy campers! Our heat went out while we were on tour and unfortunately we could not record a new episode in the 30 degree studio while strange men worked on our house. Full horror story coming next Weds. So sorry, we hope you understand.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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COOL! Bologna Is Both Lunch and Paint Remover - Trail Mix #118
In this mini episode, we read listener submitted stories about a camper whose casual drive became a public takedown, a camper who really put a skid-mark on Highway 94, and a tale of a witch and her turkey sandwich.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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167 - "MILF4EVR" Revoked: DMV Ruins The Vibes Again
This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sources:➜Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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From Ice Princess to Public Enemy Number 1 - Trail Mix #117
In this mini episode, we read listener submitted stories about camper seeking advice for her mom’s new boyfriend’s gardening tool, a story about a camper who went from ice princess to public enemy number one, and a camper who’s lie at theater camp would surely get her cancelled on the internet.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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166 - Becoming Gummy Nyquil Advocates
This episode is all over the place. Jonathan may have witnessed a crime (and is both willing and able to be subpoenaed), while Zachariah is convinced that his new snatched bod has put him on every kidnapper’s radar. PLUS there is a Thai fortune-teller drama unfolding (tea) and Illinois is being lame by rejected vanity license plates (booo!) There is almond milk slander, gummy vitamin love, and obvi so much more.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sources:➜ Sarkar, Alisha Rahaman. “Fortune-teller accused of stealing client’s phone to make ‘bad luck’ prophecy come true.” The Independent, 2 Jan. 2026.➜ Miller, Violet. “‘IBPOOPN’ and ‘ICUP’ among 550 license plates rejected by Illinois secretary of state.” WBEZ Chicago, 22 Dec. 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Après-Ski? More Like Oops-I-Shit-Myself - Trail Mix #116
In this mini episode, we are reading listener-submitted stories about camper whose ring doorbell proved she had an alarming repeat visitor, a camper who committed a finger-lickin’ cover-up, and a story about a camper whose ski trip took a turn halfway down the mountain.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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165 - The 2nd Annual Nunu Nana Awards!
Yet another wildly unqualified gay podcast handing out awards! Welcome to The 2nd Annual Nunu Nana Awards! Today we celebrate the best of what we talked about last year and the absolute worst, with winners chosen by you, our noble campers. ALSO! We have a very special guest announcer: The Tipson Hotel's very own Carey Martin, actress Kim Rhodes! In this episode, we reveal the highhly anticipated results for 8 categories: Excellence in Disruptive Behavior, Daddy of The Year, Mother of The Year, Uncalled for Buffoonery, The Freak Behavior After Freak Behavior Lifetime Achievement Award, Excellence in Twisting The Plot, Take A Hike of The Year, and Camper Crush of the Year! Thank you for voting, and congratulations to tonight’s winners.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Finding My HOT Army Pen Pal LOVER - Trail Mix #115
In this mini episode, we are reading listener-submitted stories about camper who went searching for a hot military pen pal, but instead got a humbling reality check, a college partner project feud got so bad it ended up in the news, and a camper who turned heads all day, but not in the way she’d planned.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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164 - It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like HOA Violations
In our final episode of the year we’ve got some big surprises. Counselor Zachariah finds out his mom has a secret half-brother! Speaking of brotherly love, we also get into our love for the Jonas Brothers Christmas movie, judge some truly unwell neighbor holiday decor, and make an important announcement: we’re taking a short break from the podcast, but we’ll be back in the new year. Plus, we get into a James Bond jewel thief, and Quinta Brunson’s field trip fund. Obviously we have to wrap up the year with some ranting and question why skydivers are scattering ashes… in the sky? Also what the even heck is up with the GPS screaming directions at full volume while we are posing at a public rest stop?? And of course, we end on the important stuff: ribbon candy love, baking timelapse obsession, and a couple songs to carry you into the season.Your civic duty as campers begins now: vote in the Nunu Nana Awards at CampCounselorsPodcast.com/vote! Winners announced in the 2nd annual Nunu Nana Award Ceremony on January 14, 2026.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Corlett, Eva. “Man Charged with Theft after Allegedly Swallowing Fabergé Pendant in Jewellery Store.” The Guardian, 2 Dec. 2025.➜ Gonzalez, Alex. “Quinta Brunson Launches ‘Field Trip Fund’ For Philadelphia Schools.” Complex, 5 Dec. 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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HELP! My Son Won't Stop Having Loud Sex in My House! - Trail Mix #114
In this mini episode, we’ve got another batch of listener-submitted stories. First up, one camper needs help addressing an uncomfortable situation with her stepson's very loud very gay late night wrestling. Then we take it to Pittsburgh, where a summer school van run turns into a literal cliffhanger. And finally, we enter the realm of spiritual warfare: a teen gets dragged to a priest for an exorcism.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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163 - Gift Guide for the Friend Who’s Doing Too Much
This week at Camp Shady Birch, we’re unwrapping the worst part of the holidays: truly unhinged gift guides and the chaos of simply being alive in December! Counselor Zachariah kicks things off with a parking violation saga for the ages after he found a bright orange sticker slapped on his perfectly legal parked car and immediately took to the internet to publicly drag the culprit. Festive! Counselor Jonathan dives into the wild story of a magician who implanted an RFID chip in his hand for magic tricks and then forgot the password to his own hand. It's giving tech anxiety. Also, a new study about how urban raccoons are literally evolving shorter snouts and showing early signs of domestication just from living in our cities and eating our garbage. We love new housemates!! They should pay rent lol! We've got the annual curse of dry cracked knuckles, terrible holiday gift guides, undying love for gingerbread men and why they’ve finally (rightfully!!) become the face of the holiday season this year, and so much more!This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Pring, Joe. “Magician ‘Forgot the Password’ to His Own Hand after Locking Himself Out of Implanted RFID Chip.” Dexerto, 22 Nov. 2025.➜ Hill, Marta. “Urban Raccoons Are Showing Signs of Early Domestication, With Shorter Snouts Than Their Rural Cousins.” Smithsonian Magazine, 21 Nov. 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Scoot Marie Takes Cancun - Trail Mix #113
In this mini episode we are reading more listener submitted stories. First up, a Cancun wedding trip turns chaotic when a tequila-fueled vacation fling with a younger boss collides with a very sensitive stomach. Then, a quick Sonic run in a comfy romper turns into a drive-through moment so embarrassing our camper still refuses to go back. Finally, we head into the New England woods, where our camper's little brother goes from home chef to felony arson.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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162 - OMG! Hetero Wolf in Gay Sheep's Clothing
This week on Camp Counselors, the holiday chaos begins! We kick off the episode by showing off our newly decorated studio (check it out on youtube duh!) To wet the whistle, we are talking panic attacks, gay sheep whose wool was serving lewks in the West Hollywood scene, and an Aussie band’s canceled show and massive bar tab. Naturally, this spirals into classic counselor TAKE A HIKE rants abou losers who refuse to participate in the wave at stadium games, the tragedy of losing a tube of chapstick before you finish it, why Zachariah is fully committed to becoming the godfather of a cruise ship, and so much more.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Bradfield, Jordan. Yes, There Was a Fashion Show Made From the Wool of Gay Sheep. Paper Magazine. 17 Nov. 2025.➜ Qiu, Daisy. Gay Sheep Knitwear and a Rainbow-Wool Runway: Why “Gay Sheep” Are Fashion’s New Queer Statement. The New York Times. 11 Nov. 2025.➜ Carter, Jeremy. Amyl and the Sniffers Shout Melbourne Live Music Venues $35K in Free Drinks After Fed Square Cancel. ABC News. 14 Nov. 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.
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