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PODCAST · comedy

Catalogue

by Tim and Simon

Two grown men flick their way through an old Argos catalogue for kicks. Ladies and gentlemen, Tim and Simon.They bought the Spring/Summer No.26 Argos catalogue from 1999. Page by page, Tim and Simon make their way through it talking about the things you could buy in the 90s and memories that come with it.

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Episodes

  1. 43 - Pikachu Strimmer

    Will Tim and Simon finally creep their way out of the outdoor section? Where is Janet/Jane? Who lives in a place like White Grit? All these questions and more are acknowledged, and even possibly answered, in the latest episode of Catalogue.

  2. 42 - Graham Bond

    Tim and Simon delve into the Argos catalogue from 1999 and discover the secret lair of James Bond's evil twin, and why Sheriff John Bunnell is blamed for everything.

  3. 41 - Quailcast

    Tim and Simon return to delve deep within the Argos Catalogue and do some talking. They talk Carol and Roger's portfolio diversification, natural shorts, and the Battle of East Dereham.

  4. 40 - Where the hell have you been?

    Good news everybody! Tim and Simon are still alive! In this episode they reveal grand plans for Catalogue and answer the question you have been asking: where the hell have you been?

  5. 39 - Lawnmower Men

    Recorded in separate places and spliced together like Frankenstein's monster, this episode sees the boys shave their gardens and mow their pubes. Yes, lawnmowers are the order of the day, so if your lawn is looking a bit tufty, get this in your ears.

  6. 38 - Cat Sick Broke The House

    If you're a fan of extention leads... you'll want to get plugged into this! This episode was recorded a few months back, before the UK lockdown.

  7. 37 - Timmy and The Magic Torch

    Recorded long before the UK went into lockdown, Tim and Simon talk torches and get far more mileage out of it than they should. Enjoy.

  8. 36 - Home Alone

    Tim and Simon consider how many resources Kevin McAllister would have needed. A few of those resources feature on these pages! This was recorded before we weren't allowed to see anyone.

  9. 35 - Self Isolation

    Tim and Simon find themselves in isolation at the same time due to the coronovirus outbreak. Not a usual Catalogue, more of a chat over Skype, with added alcohol. But don't worry, it's still very daft.

  10. 34 - Alarms

    Tim and Simon recorded a bunch of Catalogues in preparation for now being allowed to get together again anytime soon... This is the first and it's all about alarms. Have 29 minutes of escapism. Stay safe.

  11. 33 - Ladders

    Get ready for Catalogue to climb to new heights as the men from Shropshire talk ladders. Get serious gains and bulk out your ear muscles with 22 minutes of pure comedy bronze from your pocket... if you have one.

  12. 32 - Sheds

    Tim and Simon would like to invite you into their shed of delights. Feel free to poke the bike, but whatever you do, don't poke the wasp nest! You can lose weight by listening to this. That's a lie.

  13. 31 - Drill Bricks

    Tim and Simon conclude The Tool Saga. That's the description.

  14. 30 - Tools Talk

    Tim and Simon race towards the end of the tools section, talking scars, steam and serial killers. This'll spark your pants into action!

  15. 29 - Grinder

    Planers, mitre saws and plunge routers. Tim and Simon both rent and have never had to decorate. It really shows. This episode has nothing to do with decorating.

  16. 28 - A Sort of Christmas Special

    Tim and Simon were a bit too late to the party with their Christmas. So please find enclosed a Christmas Special, which isn't that Christmassy! They felt they had to talk toys on the run up to Christmas so picked up a Smyths Toys Superstore catalogue and went for it!

  17. 27 - Tool Box

    Tim and Simon talk tools, Tom Selleck and Robot Wars. They also reference a ghost in the film Three Men and a Baby: "Ghost" visible at 36 seconds: https://youtu.be/LPEvJrs-1yM

  18. 26 - Tools and Utility Belts

    Tim and Simon discuss spanners, glue guns and multimeters. Can they turn Tim into Batman with the help of the tools page of their Argos Catalogue from 1999? No. No they can't.

  19. 25 - Under Pressure

    The boys from Salop reach a quarter of century's worth of Catalogue and discover their favourite item of the catalogue so far! Give it a listen and don't forget to tell a friend.

  20. 24 - Another Pooh in the Window

    Tim and Simon find themselves exploring more things that go in your car. Along the way they discuss car mats, Bobby Charlton and blueberry Jaffa Cakes. It'll all make sense when you listen!

  21. 23 - Tom Campbell

    You may have heard him on radio, you may have seen on the internet but now you can hear Tom Campbell doing something you've never heard before:.. Reading an Argos catalogue from 1999. Expect road rage, broken kettles and eggs. See videos that Tom does over at Cultaholic.com

  22. 22 - Crewe

    As promised in Episode 21, Tim and Simon record this episode at Crewe Railway Station. Expect trains, commuters and PA announcements… oh and they have the Catalogue with them!

  23. 21 - Bike Accessories

    Tim and Simon talk all things lights, combination locks and spokey dokeys. By the way, your combination is 9683. They're on to you.

  24. 20 - Bikes and Helmets

    Tim and Simon reach page 76 of their Argos catalogue adventure and talk BMXs, stunt pegs and bruised nads. Stick your helmet on, you'll need it.

  25. 19 - Fishing Stuff

    What Tim and Simon know about fishing could be written as a comprehensive guide to not fishing. They use all their tangent tangling powers to keep this one going.

  26. 18 - Golf and Candles

    Tim and Simon tee off talking about their favourite sport involving a golf ball. Also Tim's hopes of a spin off candle based podcast gain momentum.

  27. 17 - Golf and Umbrellas

    Putting them firmly out of their comfort zone, Tim and Simon are confronted with the world of golf. They talk computer games, cheese grating and soggy heads. What's your Solid Snake technique?

  28. 16 - Darts and Snooker

    Tim and Simon are not so snooker loopy, but they do love a good 90s game show, so expect much chat about Bullseye and Big Break. Pick a type of weather and a body part, and prepare to make some noise!

  29. 15 - Basketball and Pucks

    Page 64 of the Argos Catalogue holds delights and tangents aplenty as Tim and Simon discover basketballs and rollerblades, while holding a real Space Jam DVD. Prepare to get pucking silly, ya cheeky pucker.

  30. 14 - Hustler Cricket Gloves

    Navigating their way further into the sport equipment, Tim and Simon discover cricket gloves, five-a-side goals and Tim Henman. You'll also learn how to cook a pot noodle properly.

  31. 13 - Shin Pads and Footballs

    Prepare to be reminded of some of foulest smells of your childhood as Tim and Simon talk goalkeeper gloves, shin pads and bootbags. Never shake a goalkeepers hand without sniffing it first.

  32. 12 - Holdalls

    Tim and Simon reach page 54 of their Argos catalogue adventure talking school bags, badgers and bananas. You've come for the podcast, but you'll stay for the storm flaps.

  33. 11 - Benches and Treadmills

    The Shropshire lads complete the exercise equipment section of their Argos catalogue adventure. Along the way they choose their favourite bench, perform crap magic and bring Mario Kart to the real world.

  34. 10 - Guest: Dan Berry

    Tim and Simon discuss rowing machines and punch bags with illustrator, cartoonist, podcaster, penmaker and Catalogue artwork provider, Dan Berry; who also happens to be Simon's brother. Find more about Dan at thingsbydan.co.uk

  35. 9 - Dumbbells and Skipping Ropes

    Tim and Simon reach page 47 of their Argos Catalogue adventure. They discuss building muscles, losing weight and boy band branded condoms.

  36. 8 - Gym Equipment

    Tim and Simon immerse themselves in the sweaty world of exercise. Simon explains his short shorts and Tim discovers a pet he could actually get along with, all with a backdrop of 1999's finest devil's peaches.

  37. 7 - Cameras and Kettles

    Tim and Simon see off the travel section with a bang… Hear about Simon's passion for ironing, Tim's dislike of cats and the new Olympic sport of freezer diving! Caution: May contain pork style chinese steaks.

  38. 6 - Travel Accessories

    Tim and Simon flip to page 35 and talk about currency convertors, personal CD players and a Game Boy! These game boys love a Game Boy.

  39. 5 - Tents and Suitcases

    The Shropshire lads squeeze themselves into a princess castle tent. Expect deep discussions about heads, horses and Hodors! And beware the magpies.

  40. 4 - Picnic Hampers and Camping Chairs

    Tim and Simon work their way through one and a bit pages of the catalogue. They keep your hot things hot, your Carlsberg cold, and completely rename the humble chair.

  41. 3 - Sleeping Bags

    Tim and Simon dig deep into the world of camping and dredge up bitter memories of kid's TV.

  42. 2 - Garden Furniture and BBQs

    Tim and Simon work their way through pages 8 to 25 sharing stories about misused toilets, undercooked sausages and includes the line "I barbequed my own hand".

  43. 1 - The Index

    Tim and Simon take their first steps into the Argos no.26 Spring/Summer 1999 catalogue, and peruse the contents.

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ABOUT THIS SHOW

Two grown men flick their way through an old Argos catalogue for kicks. Ladies and gentlemen, Tim and Simon.They bought the Spring/Summer No.26 Argos catalogue from 1999. Page by page, Tim and Simon make their way through it talking about the things you could buy in the 90s and memories that come with it.

HOSTED BY

Tim and Simon

CATEGORIES

comedy

Frequently Asked Questions

How many episodes does Catalogue have?

Catalogue currently has 43 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.

What is Catalogue about?

Two grown men flick their way through an old Argos catalogue for kicks. Ladies and gentlemen, Tim and Simon.They bought the Spring/Summer No.26 Argos catalogue from 1999. Page by page, Tim and Simon make their way through it talking about the things you could buy in the 90s and memories that come...

How often does Catalogue release new episodes?

Catalogue has 43 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.

Where can I listen to Catalogue?

You can listen to Catalogue on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.

Who hosts Catalogue?

Catalogue is created and hosted by Tim and Simon.
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