CheezWits

In a shocking turn of events, Wally starts off with technical difficulties, Jess might need to update the website, identity theft, the state of Tennessee is probably monitoring the show, gay people f--- too (happy pride!), men don't use straws, Jess's career update (or lack thereof), radio jobs bs, and Chris brings the noise -- literally.

Jess loses her job, AI goes wrong, bad dreams, Wally has a mower mishap, and Happy Birthday messages from strangers on social media

Jess spends an inordinate amount of this show talking to herself, things from last week's show that came up for us this week, Wally takes the show on the road, merging in traffic and construction, redheads are black people, immigrants and ICE raids, Moxie soda and other carbonated atrocities, Wally's grandson's drivers license test, the dollar (and a quarter) tree, the things they're doing to potato chips... listen, it's just all terrible, ok?

Chris is back and medicated, Wally is the only Samsung user who didn't notice any changes from the update, utopian and dystopian are not the same thing, working at Alcatraz, conservative talk show hosts who say the most outrageous things, 17-year-old know-it-alls, what we would change if we could do it over, grandmotherly treats, public mints, the awful ICE roundups, racism we've personally seen in our lives, and... more to come.

Customer "support" via Twitter, Wally had to wait 4 minutes in a drive-thru, cheesesteaks at a Mexican restaurant, Wally makes a delivery in the middle of the show, Chris doesn't show, then he does but kind of not really, backhanded compliments and commenting on bodies, understanding Velcro, a really unfortunate situation outside Jess's car, intolerable bodily secretions (TRIGGER WARNING), driver's ed, insurance is a racket, dealing with contractors, and being soothed by a southern accent (or not).

Chris just doesn't wanna, the foods you're not allowed to order (according to Wally) at certain restaurants, so many penii on TV, Gayle King's an astronaut, fast food in our various cities.

Rumors of Jess's death have been greatly exaggerated, white men's rights are being violated by social media again (insert eye roll here), class action settlement wins for everybody, scam group texts, No Hands Nancy strikes again, family drama, gambling in casinos and online, running algorithms and counting cards, giving blood, what we learned (or haven't learned) from the AIDS epidemic, and the disadvantages of being a single person that have nothing to do with romance.

Friend of the show Brad joins us to talk about being a new dad, Chris wins a major award, Wally's basically a technological genius, house smells, aging is not for the weak, severe weather warnings, Wally thinks young people don't want to learn things, the good ice, fast food automatic dispensers, what NOT to do with certain candies, parenting teenage girls, Brad and Jess find out each other's real names after 20 years of friendship, and protecting your ID on the internet.

The radio station Jess and Wally first worked together at is gone, fishing belongs to Trump supporters, we've gotten to the bottom of why Chris's connection cuts out, Wally's sister and why Jess's mom is like that, Chris tells a TERRIBLE joke, bad employees and employers, HR is not to protect the workers, Wally can no longer lift all that water, Jess continues to be unable to find a stud, travel plans and pool showers, internet radio and people who don't know how to use it, and tips for better pooping (you're welcome, America!)

In this week's war plans group chat, Chris and his fiancée adjust to the new house, the NAB show, a radio company makes an advertising offer we absolutely can refuse, radio history and ratings, Wally's daughter makes an important self discovery, the ways in which women have evolved and men have not, the Signal chat heard round the world, accents and pronunciations, Making Radio Fun Again ™ , Taylor Dane and other '80s music,

Wally's medical knowledge about food (Jess's eyes are going to get stuck rolled back in her head), iHeartRadio does it again, the state of Tennessee tries to screw Jess -- and not in a good way, the dudes start talking about poop as soon as the woman leaves the room, a man got shot by his dog, Wally doesn't understand the joke, how emergency alerts are sent now, Google Fiber ignores "no soliciting" signs, Texans and other southerners, and political blah blah blah.

Chris pops in mid-Chiropracting, Wally has no idea where Dutch people come from, bringing up uncomfortable subjects, RIP retirement funds, WTF even is cryptocurrency, New York is so much more than NYC, hoarders among us, things we've stolen from previous jobs, when radio used to be fun, and transgender mice (and humans!). Hey... would you please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Scott Schlein?!

Our cures for sore throats and dry mouth (we are not medical professionals, don't do what we do), bad breath in radio studios, vegan maple syrup, stupid bank and credit union policies, a listener note for Wally, hotels without a concierge, radio payola revisited, Chris finally buys a new house, fun radio interviews, when couples argue, and Jess's mother strikes again.

Wally has technical difficulties (you're shocked, no?), Chris braves air travel, guess who fell for a scammer, the return of Fyre Festival, Maine's governor is a gangster, town halls and being dragged out of them, Wally's sister and Jess's mother are so much alike, insurance companies are still the worst, childhood chicken pox, skin cancer, Vince Gill, and country guitar virtuosos.

Chris got the 'vid again, the CDC can't tell us stuff anymore, drinking something... unexpected and sometimes unfortunate, Wally's daughter living off the grid, humans using products meant for animals, personality tests, SNL 50, old music collections, Amazon reviews, creepy man comments online, Wally nitpicks about "my," and getting rid of the penny.

Chris got the 'vid, Jess is a guest on a fun show, is there another Wally? Trolling Google and Apple for the Gulf of America and other Trumpfoolery, the wokeness of Little House on the Prairie (then AND now), TV we love, people who don't wash their hands, an online furniture shopping mishap, Jess's contractor updates, complaints, and gambling wins.

Our thoughts on the "new" FCC payola investigation and Tennessee Senator Marsha Blackburn, tariffs and the children Elon Musk gave our social security numbers to, Chris's plans to see a famous lib get canceled, Wally's fears for white men (insert Jess's eye roll here), country artists know who has supported them in the past, the reasons the house Chris made an offer on failed inspection, contractor BS, and people with the last name Hitler in the US,

The technical difficulties are not Wally's for once, ideas for changing the show since the new gender rules, radio station sales and CEO effectiveness, the RFK hearings, Wally figures out Zoom, Jess gets something new, ICE and anti-immigrant BS, tariffs and how they'll affect US customers, why we're hoping your President doesn't know New Mexico is a state, Wally's free coffee, Chris goes to the Price Is Right, legit calls that seem like scams, automated phone menu BS, and renewing a drivers license.

White men are "back," Jess gets a threatening email, changes in radio broadcasting in the public interest, screwing over the billionaires, Wally learns how to use Zoom... starting with the spelling, the internet stranger who tried to hurt Jess's feelings (bless his heart), the terrible thing about working in news, the truth about the Doppler, and it's 10pm -- do you know where your children are?

This show started out so stupid, there was nowhere to go but up. Back pain from aging and med side effects, Chris blew something gross out of his eye, the battle of the sisters drama, the comments section about the LA wildfire victims, neighbors, the Nashville snowpocalypse and an almost fistfight in the grocery store, and stupid people are not just on the internet anymore.

The show starts in chaos, making Greenland great again for the Gulf of America, golden showers, jobs we wouldn't want, binge watching, we wait with baited breath for Chris to get his CVS receipt, what makes Wally afraid he'll get shot, Chris has no idea where Jess works, dreams about old radio jobs, what Wally thinks is a benefit of the Trump administration, cops using their patrol cars as personal vehicles, using the TV to sleep, and cars then and now. Our New Year's Resolution is to get more ratings and reviews on Apple Podcasts, but we need your help for that. Even if you don't listen on Apple, it's free to create an Apple ID and leave us a review!

Radio news breaks while we're recording, vinyl albums, audio quality for music listeners, differences between streaming and radio, bowling alley drama, the MAGA split and a Congress person with dementia, an update on Wally's sister, weather problems, Jess's neighbor calls, pets and farm animals, sleep issues and bad dreams, and Wally writes a sternly worded email. 

Jess pauses her vacation trash-TV binge watching for this episode, Wally finally gets unblocked from the delivery app, racism for no reason, Tik Tok is uncensored in its final days (but Wally has no idea), Bob Saget's raunchy joke, Jeff Daniels as an actor and guitar player, President Musk, Santa as a sex offender, the Blake Lively situation, family drama, and Chris and Jess's last day on the air together.

Roads don't kill people, Wally thinks kids should just "brush it off", radio perks, Chris's fiancée comes out of anesthesia, T-Mobile tries to murder Jess, Wally takes 4 years to figure out how his Christmas tree works, Chris scans groceries on the show, good news at the doctor's office, tenants mess up everything, and confusing cat treats with Skittles.

Wally's old white man voice, companies with unfair business practices, the UHC shooter and creative social media responses, wokeness and national tumult throughout the generations, old men and their peeing problems, celebrity Facebook encounters, and new takes on old radio stories.

How Walmart got us blocked in Russia, the roofer who ignored the ‘no soliciting’ signs, drama in gig work, homeowner’s insurance drama, Chris proves once again that he has no idea how women’s bodies work, an uncomfortable reaction to an uncomfortable conversation, things that just make no sense, first date scenarios, comparing the uses of Mando/Lume and a steak and cheese, and drinking on the air. And to think you get all of this for free.

Church choirs singing “Like A Prayer,” Wally has another run-in with the law, family drama and the holidays, the real names of radio people, celebrities that have always looked the same as they do now, actors being who you expect them to be, and GUESS WHO HUNG UP FIRST. You won't believe it unless you hear it for yourself. And if you gave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts it would be a Christmas miracle.

Wally accidentally puts us in his neighborhood Facebook group, AI imagines Jess... differently, another backwards law in Tennessee, one of us got caught in a poacher sting, radio stuff, and Tyson v. Jake Paul. So this is season 3, huh? Meh.

What lube means, clitoris oil, Wally can't hang up, dating apps, Google fiber, why we'll probably never get a sponsor, and WuTang is forever. That's just some of the drivel we cobbled together for the "best" of our second year of existence. Hey, if it weren't for you listening, we wouldn't still be here doing this. So you only have yourself to blame.

Wally and Jess compare caregiver stories, the lady with the arms (IYKYK) calls Jess before coffee, friend of the show Brad is a new dad, incoming cabinet appointments, Wally ticks off the neighborhood Facebook group, prayer and hypocrisy, iHeart keeps killing radio, and Jess saves the neighborhood from the pittie puppy. It's our last episode of Season 2, so if you've stuck with us this long, how about a review on Apple Podcasts?

Our post-election analysis - are we smarter than a 5th grader? Debatable. Movies that defined our respective generations, home improvement scammers, the company that broke radio, and phrases with racist origins.

To do a “best of year 2” or not, how people treat caregivers, paying attention to details, getting gas at BJs (is that a setup for Chris? Maybe), crazy radio station callers, the latest campaign faux pas, why the Brady Bunch revival is a no go, wagyu beef at Walmart, and the post-election future of our show. Have you thought about CheezWits as a write-in candidate?

Calls from caregivers at night, early voting and the game Jess played while waiting in line, Wally tries to think of some double standards, and more proof we'll never survive as a society. Besides the existence of this show, obviously.

Dead people on Facebook, Jess plays “would you rather” marriage edition, we take an important survey, aging parents and their houses, terrible dreams, you’ll never guess where we found GOOD customer service, Dunkin coffee, and the cheapskate Wally and Jess worked for. Are we offensive? Sure, but are we funny? Nah. But leave us a rating/review at Apple Podcasts anyway, would ya?

People who didn’t evacuate ahead of hurricane warnings, misinformation about FEMA, misinformation about Puerto Rico, toilet paper hoarders, the real reason Jess can’t go to Canada, SEC fan vandalism pays off, old age forgetfulness, farts and child locks, getting mugged while making deliveries, getting away with stuff in front of cameras, and Wally shockingly doesn't understand today's youth.

We imagine Wally as a Senator, the radio station dropping the ball on things happening in its local community, the last K-Mart and stores that file for bankruptcy, misleading political memes and posts, new scam calls, a letter from Donald J Trump, states where it’s illegal to cheat on your spouse, and Chris teaches accents.

This week, we cover Wally’s adventures in computer stuff, an Ivermectin delivery, Chris draws the line at feet, P Diddy, real men and skid marks, the punchline from Chris we never get to hear, Jess has an offensive shirt “oops”, people who don’t follow the rules, peeing the bed, and the difference between men and women. As you can see, while the technical quality is better than last week, nothing else is.

If you look up “disaster” in the dictionary, you’ll see the three of us waving at you from this episode. First Wally has computer problems, then Jess does. We’ve cobbled together an episode in which we talk about computer problems A LOT, and there is drastic mid-sentence change in audio quality. Obviously, we talk about the debate…. and Springfield. Also Selena Gomez in the billionaire’s club, a 5 minute butt-dial, Jess did NOT get a CMA nomination, Wally misses the good old days of software, attractive women then and now, and bullies then and now. If there was ever a time for us to ask you NOT to rate us on Apple Podcasts, this would be it.

In a shocking turn of events, Wally doesn’t understand his computer; plus the Chase bank “glitch,” racism at Walmart, the most potty-mouthed state in the Union, and the ways in which Jess has grown into her bitchiness. It's like Kindergarten, but for adults (I know you are, but what am I?) Help us out and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, would ya? Even if you listen somewhere else.

Wally’s schedule confusion, car trouble, the state fair competition Jess will not be participating in, radio in the public interest, the cult of Jeep drivers, swingers, and gun ownership. You're gonna love this episode at least as much as your last dental appointment. Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, please and thank you.

Insurance company drama, the ages of “old” people on TV when we were kids, the women in Wally’s life keep finding dead bodies, Tennesseans are mad about toll lanes, who was thinking of Chris while on the toilet, annoying appointment reminders and “confirmations,” and the cost of selling houses.

That noise Wally’s phone makes, an idea for new guests, an update on the trash can neighbor, the reason Chris crapped on the floor, Jenna makes her podcast debut (kinda), music artists who’ve put the moves on us (or who we’ve wanted to), the awfulness of local news, and people in radio who think you’re an a-hole because you tell them no. Because who among us is REALLY an a-hole?

A near death experience, Wally is very upset by the name of a store, scams and fake news, a traumatic public restroom experience, tipping culture, the racist bacon traffic report, and in a surprising turn of events, Wally doesn’t know what a widget is, but it turns out Jess’s computer DID record the whole show. Because what a tragedy to miss even a second of this drivel.

Air conditioning (Jess DOES have central air, Wally), Jess finds a new best friend to bond with over crappy exes, the two of us who belong barefoot in the kitchen, neighbor weirdness, what’s in Wally’s algorithm, the hawk tuah girl, aging and medical conditions, and euphoric peeing. See, this is the kind of quality entertainment you can’t get just anywhere.

Text and Facebook scams, checking the spam folder, LinkedIn emails, people who don’t bother to reply to messages, if we were the members of Smartless, a guy who helped kill radio criticizes radio, when winning radio stations are sold and “fixed,” Wu Tang forever, predatory companies and cancellation policies, and the reason we can probably never have a sponsor.

Chris has an airport adventure, Wally has a stroke (no, not really), the Trump shooting, Mario Lopez wipes men, and TFW when your Instacart shopper is a dude.

Jess sums up the weather with a new word, No Soliciting in Spanish, fake names when placing pickup orders, dentists and the upsell, Chris touched some lady’s fupa, why Wally's not allowed to be polite, AI fakes, and medical diagnoses from the internet and Jess’s mom.

Childproofing confounds Wally (almost as much as technology), pranks by mail, and the things 12-year-old boys put Aqua Velva on. All this and even more quality entertainment for the low, low price of zero dollars. You'll love it or your money back.

Wally tries to convince us he's not on the call... while he's on the call (seriously, if you want to skip that mess, jump to 8:30), home prices, Wally tries (unsuccessfully) to shame Jess over a mistake, the dead guy at Chris's house, a mutual friend of Wally and Chris has passed, aging and illness, cremated pets, Wally's anniversary, celebrity divorces, Jess's divorce, the Ashley Madison documentary and scandal, and the ease of breaking down a confident person.

Wally gets too much email, Jess gets a new mic, Chris celebrates a government holiday (and so does his phone), when Wally wore a daishiki, mollycoddling, hamburg vs. hamburger (the biggest argument we have this week), entitled people, are we f*&ks, radio programming successes and failures, the radio owners killing radio, and Chris’s bad joke.