Choose Your News

Episodes

1. 31

   Choose Your News - Ep. 31

   Mules, clowns, and elder copulation (the most gentile way I could think to write it.) Geezers bonin'. There you go.

   Sep 25, 2019

   24m
2. 30

   Choose Your News - Ep. 30

   A high clown detonates a poop bomb in his neighbor's car, a stupid clown tries to stuff his drawers with steak, and a stuffed clown scares the stuffing out of someone.

   Sep 5, 2019

   28m
3. 29

   Choose Your News - Ep. 29

   This episode is so hot you'll have a neverending boner, your toilet will explode, and then we'll send you an exorbitant fine.

   Aug 13, 2019

   24m
4. 28

   Choose Your News - Ep. 28

   E.T. insurance phones home, one man's severed penis is now a bone alone, and delivery person behavior you won't condone and disown.

   Aug 7, 2019

   24m
5. 27

   Choose Your News - Ep. 27

   Alligators get past their would-be captors, a Georgia family passes on a marijuana cake, and passed gas leads to jailtime.

   Jul 11, 2019

   25m
6. 26

   Choose Your News - Ep. 26

   A crappy way to clog a toilet, a crappy way to treat your bridesmaids, and a crappy pool leads to a lot of crap.

   Jul 4, 2019

   27m
7. 25

   Choose Your News - Ep. 25

   It's the episode 25 LIVE spectacular starring Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge!

   Jul 2, 2019

   36m
8. 24

   Choose Your News - Ep. 24

   Celebrity marriages never last, Mississippi abductions do, and milk-thief revenge is a dish best served ice cold.

   Jun 28, 2019

   23m
9. 23

   Choose Your News - Ep. 23

   A boat ride gone bad, a different kind of spotty clouds, and a bridge too far.

   Jun 8, 2019

   26m
10. 22

    Choose Your News - Ep. 22

    Don't Google today's topics unless you want to be on an FBI watch list. We've got elderly sex parties, hot bovine makeout sessions and a huge snake in bathroom.

    Jun 4, 2019

    27m
11. 21

    Choose Your News - Ep. 21

    Bezos stretches for the moon, rich people stretch their dollar, and Britain's Got Talent stretches the limit of your gag reflex.

    May 31, 2019

    29m
12. 20

    Choose Your News - Ep. 20

    A man takes a dip in a strange place, television finally embraces Floridaman, and bridezillas attack!

    May 15, 2019

    26m
13. 19

    Choose Your News - Ep. 19

    You eat WHAT?! You don't wash WHAT?! You're related to WHO?!

    May 11, 2019

    26m
14. 18

    Choose Your News - Ep. 18

    A game of cups, The Britney Spears Toxic Water Center, and stupid things lawyers say.

    May 7, 2019

    24m
15. 17

    Choose Your News - Ep. 17

    I'm Batman, drivers' ed goes wrong, and gay muppets.

    Sep 28, 2018

    25m
16. 16

    Choose Your News - Ep. 16

    Flossing baboons, Amazon's on shrooms, and a family has more bedrooms!

    Sep 18, 2018

    25m
17. 15

    Choose Your News - Ep. 15

    Are we holding animals back? Did a t-rex rob the Easter bunny? Does Fortnight cause divorce?

    Sep 16, 2018

    22m
18. 14

    Choose Your News - Ep. 14

    Kindergarten stripper-poles in China, ghost hunting to a new level in Connecticut, and real fake knives in Japan.

    Sep 5, 2018

    19m
19. 13

    Choose Your News - Ep. 13

    In this cursed thirteenth episode we talk a goat on the lam, a Godzilla on the loose, and a Michael Jackson on the Simpsons. Listen ... if you dare!

    Aug 31, 2018

    24m
20. 12

    Choose Your News - Ep. 12

    Bald brides, bear blocking, and bold birds.

    Aug 30, 2018

    21m
21. 11

    Choose Your News - Ep. 11

    Eggbutts, lemon thieves, and repeat offense by criminal squirrels.

    Aug 28, 2018

    21m
22. 10

    Choose Your News - Ep. 10

    It's a packed-full "animal style" edition starring parrots, cookies, and goats! It's the G.O.A.T!

    Aug 22, 2018

    22m
23. 9

    Choose Your News - Ep. 9

    Britney's spending habits, Colorado schools make 3-day weekends permanent, and finding Dad's old love letters backfires.

    Aug 16, 2018

    22m
24. 8

    Choose Your News - Ep. 8

    Ghost lovers, old metalheads, and grand theft aero.

    Aug 11, 2018

    21m
25. 7

    Choose Your News - Ep. 7

    Deadly alligators, slighted filmmakers, and cat-poop risk takers.

    Aug 9, 2018

    23m
26. 6

    Choose Your News - Ep. 6

    Bigfoot porn, waiting in lines for cash, and the newest in sex doll technology.

    Aug 2, 2018

    21m
27. 5

    Choose Your News - Ep. 5

    Painted asses, grand theft shark, and drug-fueled potato binges.

    Jul 31, 2018

    20m
28. 4

    Choose Your News - Ep. 4

    Parents are a riot, a fertile giraffe, and drunk seagulls.

    Jul 26, 2018

    22m
29. 3

    Choose Your News - Ep. 3

    Squirrel burglars, cloned meat, and barefoot walkers. Oh my.

    Jul 23, 2018

    21m
30. 2

    Choose Your News - Ep. 2

    A dead man lives, Jeff Goldblum is huge, and robot burgers are on the menu.

    Jul 19, 2018

    21m
31. 1

    Choose Your News - Ep. 1

    Diamondbacks reliever Archie Bradley poops himself, a flamingo on the lam, and a cow attack!

    Jul 17, 2018

    20m