PODCAST · comedy
Closing Time Podcast
by Closing Time Podcast
We are a comedy podcast based in Asheville, NC. We record at the end of a shift once we've finished closing a Kava Bar. Hilarious and informative staff chime in on news of the day, complaints about customers, politics, sex...and anything else on our minds.
Episodes
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Episode 31: Is Lindsey Graham Gay? Plus Movie Reviews and Older Men w/Younger Women
We have a long discussion about Queerness and outing culture. We discuss our own personal experiences as well as the histories we are aware of from decades gone by. Then we ask the eternal question. Is Republican senator Lindsey Graham from South Carolina gay? This comes up while discussing the...
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Episode 30: Elijah you old Swamp Cow, Jewish Space Laser and Hereditary
Darien discusses a kidney ailment which leads to a discussion of the movie hereditary. We discuss the AIDS crisis in the eighties. Chris regales with his deep desire to do sketch comedy and describes a sketch involving a commemorative plate commemorating the sinking of a fictional small boat…
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Episode 29: The Swinger's Club and Qris's Qanon Quorner
We take a deep dive on Swingers clubs and parties in NYC and AVL. Chris discusses his experiences and yearning for the swinger's clubs and parties that existed pre-pandemic. It's a wild ride through the logistics of how they work and such. No he doesn't talk about sex in swinger's clubs or...
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Episode 17: The Lost Episode and James Franco Hates Us
It is rare that we get a special treat in this world....yet HERE IT IS! THE LOST EPISODE!!! Many Bothans died to get this mysteriously lost episode to us. Originally recorded in the fall of 2020 this is quite a snapshot of where we were at days after the vice presidential debate. Remember the fly...
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Episode 28: It Gets Dark Early
Well hey baby, Where you been? We've been here. Workin'. Playin'. Livin'. Transitions. Always so many transitions. Waiting for the sweet embrace of death to take us home, into the nothingness. We talk about stuff. We're funny and vulnerable little bebes taking our time and space in the world.…
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Episode 27: Qanonagain, Tinder Bots, and ALL THE BUFFETS!!!
Chris Starts the show by reading a poem(?) about the Qanon disintegration and the sad people who still believe deeply in it as becomes exceedingly apparent and more obvious that the entire Qanon/Trump endeavor was nothing more than a grift and a lie. Chris discusses an interaction with a bot on...
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Episode 26: Fireworks, Darien's Smells, and A Temporary Farewell
We discuss an unfortunate incident in which Elijah accidently (we think it was on purpose) hits a brave veteran with some very powerful rocket. He apologizes profusely. Still. Chris waxes poetic on The Wonderwheel, a large Ferris wheel on Coney Island, NYC, as well as the possibility of running a...
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Episode 25: The 4 Year Old Guitarist, Game of Thrones, and Dead Rockstars.
Ray comes by the studio as we chat about Green Day and the origins of pop punk. We then move on to Nirvana and the countless rockstars that have died and how those deaths affected us. We discuss the disappointment of the end of Game of Thrones as well as the disturbing season with all the rape.…
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Episode 24: The Silence of the Pigs, All Hopped Up on Goofballs, and Chester Is Not a Jealous Man
President Trump reveals he supports and endorsed the street assassination of an Antifa member accused of murder without trial in a speech in Georgia. We discuss drugs from the good old days that we miss or missed out on. You be the judge. Elijah regales us with his harrowing tale of staying in a...
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Episode 23: Furries!!!! Eckankar And Religious Hypocrisy
Chris delves into his paternal family history including some door to door sales techniques that most would find questionable. Chris then discusses his uncle who was some sort of leadership member of a religion (or cult depending on who you ask) called eckankar. we discuss the false piety of...
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Episode 22: Lord of the Rings, We Fix Tires, Philosophy and Dreams
We Discuss Lord of the Rings and Chris reveals that he hasn't actually read the books. He cheated by doing the audiobook. We discuss tire repair, and all things tires...Well, some things tires. We then get into philosophy and dreams including sharing some dreams. We make jokes and laugh and you...
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Episode 21: Would You Date A Psycho Killer?
But seriously, would you? If they were hot? If they were hot in a way that really speaks to you? Speaking of psychos, did you hear that the second Impeachment trial against Donald J Trump has begun? Yeah we don't talk about that here but we talk politics, drugs, sexy times and many other things...
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Episode 20: WHIP IT UP & THE LIVE CALL IN!!!
(The Kidney, More Foreskin, Death and Funerals) I smell Whipped cream, but different. Is there something in the air? We talk about organ donation, Green Funerals and the unnatural horrors of the American funeral business in general. We talk about our post death wishes and more. We have an…
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Episode 19: Underwear!!! Urinal Splashback, And Sushi
The crew does a deep dive on deep sea delectables. We discuss Underwear, Urinal Splashback and other first world problems. Elijah Flexes on his knowledge of marine life while Alexander flexes his knowledge of the kitchen as a chef. Chris tells stupid jokes, offends some people and tries to make...
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Episode 18: QAnon and TIM's Birthday Special!!!
Tim and Barclay stop by and hang with us after we close the bar. The Closing Time crew discuss QAnon and a certain customer who may or may not wear a QAnon trucker hat on a daily basis. The phenomenon of Q has divided families and the nation and we try to make sense of it all...where there is…
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Episode 14: Poly vs Cheating, All is Well, and Alexander's romantic "bananas" Adventure
Chris talks about how special he is because he knows a little science. He explains that he thinks he's better than everybody because he thinks he's smarter. Then discusses skepticism and Tom Scott videos. He does or does not shit on Alexander's parade. Some of the cast eats hot peppers. Chris...
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Episode 13: Chris takes responsibility, and when crying and wanking meet, you get Cranking!!!
Cranking!! Our new Hit country Song is Pre Debuted here. We write it live for you and it was a joy. The song describes someone who is lonesome and has taken to masturbation while crying. We discuss the pre-election jitters as well as Red Pill and the sexual dynamics between men and women. Brandy...
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Episode 12: 9 11, The Curse of Peter Leonard, "I'm Handicapped", and WE'RE ALL DEAD!!
We are joined by guests, Chris Mortenson, Delaney Storm Brown and in house Film Maker Peter Leonard. We discuss the curse of being in one of his YouTube movies, as well as chat with the latest victim of the curse, Chris Mortenson who appeared in our most recent video, "The Squeezer" only to…
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Episode 11: Hair Metal, Electra and Blood Type, The Swamp Cow, and Cory Tipton
Come and Knock on OUR DOOR! Ray joins us to discuss Hair Metal (including the tragic tale of Jani Lane), Dance Church, and Smelly Hippies. Elijah makes the huge announcement that he's moving to Washington state, but NOT LEAVING THE SHOW!!!!! Darien refutes their massive Electra complex. We…
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Episode 10: Cordyceps, Accent Work and Christian Comix
Is ASMR your thing? Is ASMR like cilantro? Do you love it or does it taste like soap? Peter performs some Shakespeare for us and we are HONORED. We then trade off accents until it is revealed that Chris is one Leonard brother's FAVORITE BARTENDER. Elijah shares some wackjob Christian comics that...
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Episode 16:JUMP AHEAD! The Great Debate and Darien's Smells
We deep dive on the horror that was the first Presidential debate of 2020 between Joe Biden and Donald Trump. Aside from the horror and hypocrisy exhibited by mostly one of the candidates, Chris interleaves many history lessons and mean spirited anti-Republican jokes.... And the BIG EVENT!!!! The...
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Episode 9: Missing Teeth, Conspiracy Theory, and the Trader Joe's Incident
Brandy and Keely Join us for a wild ride through dental health issues, Conspiracy theories and the great Trader Joe's Incident of 2020. Join our frenetically paced hijinks and story spewing. "A GUARENTEED LAUGH RIOT" - Somebody
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Episode 8 The Poetry Open Mic, Catholicism, Birth and Death
Caleb Beissert stops by to give us the ins and outs of the Poetry Open Mic. Darien opens up about her Catholicism. We discuss Birth and Death as well as the protective paternal instinct and so muchmore.............With Jokes!!!! And Awkward MOMENTS!!!!!
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Episode 7: Smelling Toast and Stroke, Your O Face, And Bad Yelp Reviews
Chris discusses his fear that he is having many strokes during the day because he smells toast constantly. The term "O Face" offends Alexander deeply. Darien discusses her father's attempted assault on her knee. Elijah reads his bad Yelp! reviews.... AND SO MUCH MORE!!!
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Episode 15: Jump! VOTE!!! Broken System, Broken Window, and all the Horror
We jump to a more recent recording to discuss current events, the breaking of our shop window by Middleton, Delaware's finest citizens, and other topical events like the everyday horror that surrounds and binds us on this crazy ride we are on. We talk about jail. We talk politics. We talk about…
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Episode 6 First Date Movies, Fast Food, and the Fragile Male Ego
Peter joins us for a dive into first date movies and troubling television. We discuss Fast Food Options and Silly things.
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Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back, Mukbang and Real Dolls
It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy. Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Luke Skywalker have established a new...
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Episode 4: Militarized Police and the Employee of the Month
Keely guests as we discuss Lame customer interactions, police brutality, a specific customer or two, and all that SEXY STUFF we like to talk about...LIKE WE DO.
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Episode 3: Sweet Government $$$ and Cognitive Dissonance
We Speed through a variety of topics including the end of Government Unemployment Assistance and The Cognitive Dissonance on the poltical Right. Chris also acts like an animal and Keegan Drops off weird Pastries with Guava and Cheese. Chris thinks they're Disgusting.
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Episode 2: Homeschool, Homeless
We have Keegan on to discuss Adderall, Homeschooling, the SATs and Homelessness amid the service industry. Join us down a Hilarious and dark journey through the belly of the homeschooloing and homeless service work communities. Do A Rail with us!!!
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Episode 1: Bad Tippers, The Pandemic and Penis Size
Our Maiden Voyage!!! We Talk Smack about customers, Discuss politics, Penis size and the various joys of being servers at the end of a shift.
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
We are a comedy podcast based in Asheville, NC. We record at the end of a shift once we've finished closing a Kava Bar. Hilarious and informative staff chime in on news of the day, complaints about customers, politics, sex...and anything else on our minds.
HOSTED BY
Closing Time Podcast
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Closing Time Podcast have?
Closing Time Podcast currently has 31 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Closing Time Podcast about?
We are a comedy podcast based in Asheville, NC. We record at the end of a shift once we've finished closing a Kava Bar. Hilarious and informative staff chime in on news of the day, complaints about customers, politics, sex...and anything else on our minds.
How often does Closing Time Podcast release new episodes?
Closing Time Podcast has 31 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Closing Time Podcast?
You can listen to Closing Time Podcast on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Closing Time Podcast?
Closing Time Podcast is created and hosted by Closing Time Podcast.
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