Cocktale Hour

 We're back after a long hiatus since March. We are doing a remote from the desert in Landers, California today. A lot of water under the bridge since March, so that's why we are in Landers...get it?

 This is the last episode for a few weeks as John goes out of the country. Hang in there America, maybe Danny and Kelly will do one or two while he is away!

 Have you heard enough about the war, the Epstein files and the next awful thing to come up in the 24 hour news cycle? Have no fear, we are here to talk about our obsession with tea stained boots and churches with snake handlers, because what else is there in life?

 A special guest today with Dave visiting from NYC. We talk about Danny's new food stand that serves Cocktails and Tacos - CockTauc, Dave's suction stories, and Kelly's mysterious photo shoot.

 Episode 201 hits as we launch into the stratosphere of elite podcasts with another Cocktale Hour throwdown. Education this time as we instruct our listeners on the best ways to make easy money in today's economy. Enjoy! 

 Yep. We recorded our first episode on January 31, 2019 and we are in the top 2.74% of all podcasts in terms of our longevity. Thanks for sticking with us and enjoy more dick jokes!

 We are almost to 200 and today we had a guest. Not just any guest, but one of Kelly's oldest friends that is actually willing to admit he was on our show - Retired News Anchor. Award-winning journalist, singer-songwriter, bestselling author and one of the region's most popular news anchors, Gord Steinke, retired from Global Edmonton (Canada) after 30 years with the station. If you are a fan of Canadian news, you already know him, if he's new to you you'll be a fan once you listen to this.

 The final episode of 2025 is here and we really wrap up the year with hitting all kinds of topics. We're planning for something special for episode 200, so let us know if you have any fun ideas!

 Here's our Christmas message for you: don't take any of our medical advice, or maybe any of our advice at all. That's our Christmas gift to you...honesty. We talk about the recently redacted Epstein files, live, love and the pursuit of happiness.

 Old men's fashion. Let me say that again - this episode we talk about what we should wear. From snakeskin boots to hawaiian shirts with a suit. Wow...do we need help. Also, online shopping requiring a tip? Never!

 It is more than 5 years since we podcasted in person. This time we are back. That pandemic can't hold us down! Laugh along with us as we catch up on Kelly's latest high end camera purchase and talk about the state of the healthcare system.

 This week's theme music is my original composition, Murderous Biker Escapes to Mexico, and in keeping with that tradition, we discuss our Thanksgiving celebrations as well as Kelly and Danny's time in New York City. What does that have to do with bikers or Murder? ...Listen and find out! Maybe nothing.

 Holidays are upon us and through all the doom and gloom of shopping and political news, there is still a bright spot. The local holiday carnival. Happy Thanksgiving, and remember turkey is cheaper than beef this year!

 Back in action for number 192! We talk about Ozempic face, Obese ICE chases, the dating benefits of mandatory military service and a hot new show that Kelly is going to develop. It's education, it's comedy, it is funky theme music... it's The Cocktale Hour!

 They can't all be winners, right? That's what I tell myself as we skyrocket towards episode 200. I'd say to let us know what you think, but that is rare, isn't it. Let's talk about being censored by the current government for our ideology and how healthcare has become my voting single issue. Good luck out there friend!

 Months, I tell you. That is how long it has been. We are back with disinformation, some funny stuff and more educational commentary than you can shake a stick at. We should be good to go until the FCC shuts us down, so hang in there America!

Summer keeps plugging along and we are talking about Kelly's new car and how John could stop talking about the Epstein files if someone gave him a good healthcare option. Wasn't that something that the orange guy promised a decade ago? Happy Birthday Mick Jagger and please welcome our new sponsor, Clem's Truck Stop at the crossroads of Highway 1 and 16 in Canada. Where all the best lot lizards hang out.

 Happy 249th America, we wish you the best. This week we talk about what makes someone cool based on an article Kelly found online. Danny realizes painfully that he has no style and wonders if it is too late to look like Billy Jack from the 1971 classic. In terms of Hedonistic, Powerful, Extroverted Adventurousness we continue to realize that we are 13 year old boys at heart.

 Admittedly it has been a good few month hiatus, but we are back in action, finding our voice again. Do you want to hear about politics, ICE raids, protests, the loss of the rule of Law in America, how we are headed for a dictatorship....us either. We're going to talk candidly why we've been out of touch since March and get into the really important issues, like blood pressure and Yellow #5. Let's go!

 This is the last episode of the Spring, so we've packed it chock full of extra nonsense. Danny is oddly concerned about the environment, Kelly is ditching his gas stove and John just wants to make a quick buck by exploiting elderly porn stars...what else is new? Oh, we're also looking for a new intern so if you know someone....

 I'm resisting calling this episode the Frequent Jerkers Club or anything else do do with Social Security. Frankly, I don't want to have my passport flagged, although a light detention after a Tesla protest would give me more time to catch up on my reading. This episode posted a week late.

 We're back after a couple of weeks with renewed vigor. Are you tired of political bullshit and the pontificating opinions of Washington insiders worrying about your future? You've come to the right podcast because we only pontificate on how much money Danny could make on OnlyFans if he started a career as ......Speedo Man! Enjoy. Oh, if you want some Cocktale Hour Merch, search Cocktale Hour on the Etsy. I've got some stuff there.

 Another new theme song as we dig into the nuances of acting, Tyler Perry, De Niro and how great Yacht Rock really is. Stay safe and happy out there! If you need a Cocktale Hour t-shirt, check out the Etsy store.

 Today we talked more about AI than politics, thank you Jesus! I made a YouTube video so that you can see the images from the podcast. Either search Cocktale Hour Elephant Dresser, or go here: https://youtu.be/z3dlvquFK10

 Did you say new theme music that really embodies the 13 year olds that inhabit our old skeletons? You got it! We also dig into some political issues and edutainment as always. Enjoy!

 We are safe from the fires in LA so far, but not everyone has been so lucky. It is not Gavin Newsome's fault, and neither was it predicted in Genesis 19:23–29, so if you are not going to say it with love, don't say it.  We will say all the funny stuff, and we didn't even get to roll our out ejaculation notice joke. Rats. By the way, there is a new theme song courtesy of some AI audio generating website. I dig it.

Happy first podcast of 2025! They can't all be bangers, but if you are old and looking at life changes like we are, Kelly's Medicare adventure might be considered informative. Watch out for radicalized vets in 2025, that's my advice. 

 I wonder how we devolve from medical advice to dirty priest jokes, but what a fun way to end 2024. We talk about eating for your blood type, Johnny Depp's parenting, Sniffy's and how our kids listen to anyone but us. If you want a new, sexy Cocktale Hour t-shirt, reach out. What a gift for the loved ones in your life!

 Christmas Stress! It's the reason for the season, y'all. Once again we are here to educate and entertain and whether it is moral management of your portfolio, the radicalization of America's youth or another one of our numerous business ideas, you've really got to turn in to catch this lightning in a bottle.

 In the world of true crime and whodunits, we're no fun. I already know who shot that guy. His wife, it is always the spouse, no matter how much fun other options sound. We talk about our plans for world domination through the excellence of our podcast too, so tune in campers!

 John is finally back in town and we can record a new episode. It is our first post-election episode and we talk a little about that guy, but more about ED medication, old people on cruises and Thanksgiving Turkey. Enjoy!

 This is the last podcast before the election. Depending on who wins and the remnants of free speech, we remain hopeful to continue Cocktale Hour, bringing you some of the last truly independent educational and entertaining content! Enjoy our discussion about the guy who had a penis implanted into his eye socket.

I used NotebookLM to make a podcast about the AI generated summary about this week's podcast. Enjoy the redundancy! SummaryThe text is a recap of a conversation between John, Danny, and Kelly, where they explored various aspects of artificial intelligence (AI) technology, its potential impact on their lives, and the implications for their podcast. They discussed the use of AI tools for creating podcasts, generating images and videos, and even enhancing their professional endeavors. The conversation also touched on broader issues like the future of work, the potential for AI-generated content to be misused, and the benefits and drawbacks of relocating to Eastern Canada.

 This week John plays an AI generated podcast clip of Cocktale Hour as reviewed by fake hosts. In an era of not knowing who you can trust, I guess we are unique, and you can trust us to be just as real as ever. I'm also posting an AI-generated podcast about this week's podcast as well as another, more serious AI podcast about an AP News article. Enjoy the 3-fer!

 Using Google's NotebookLM, I generated a podcast based on an AP News article about disinformation around the flooding in the western North Carolina mountains. 

 Danny is getting ready for his cruise and Kelly expresses a real interest in secret plastic surgery. Join us for another educational discussion about fashion, advanced degrees and political bullshit.

 What would we do with $11.1 Billion. Probably make some boring choices, but we'd be happier than the rich are today. We go deep on some billionaire issues, the American Dream, low cost burial and the 1976 Bandit Trans-Am.

 For episode 170, we talk about our kids. What a relief when we're gone and they can hire an estate sale company to sell all our shit! We talk about religion, but not politics, so you get a break this week!

 More religion and politics coming at you in an election cycle, and we din't even get to the fake ear injury this week. Get ready to vote people!

 From a neighbor shooting movies in his yard to Japanese Exchange students to getting a massage at the mall. Is nothing Sacred? Don't forget to register to vote.

 Our AI generated synopsis says: In this episode, the group reflects on their latest social outings and debates the new AI tool designed to summarize discussions. They dive into intriguing topics such as the consequences of being a Secret Service agent under Trump, a surge in campaign donations, the effects of processed foods, and the evolving role of AI in writing and the workforce. Evidently, AI is too polite to mention penises.

 Some of us watched the RNC theatrical presentation and thought that it was a testament to how many public-facing politicians and newscasters were full-on Ozempic users and how these candidates are really old, but wouldn't it be better to vote for someone really old like a vampire?

 What drives all the young influencers to our podcast? It's the wisdom we offer for free! Here is some more tasty life advice, so join us for another episode of The Cocktale Hour.

 Summer is here and one change it brings is a serious reduction in weed usage. We've got a comedy club review and as always, ideas for how people can live a better life. Join us!

 This week, Danny has the greatest idea for stopping all wars while providing elderly citizens health care and retirement benefits! Danny for President, 2024. Oh yeah, TikTok dances too.

 Happy June Everybody! Kelly pursues happiness and John reveals the Jesus/Trump connection - on sale now! We pride ourselves on comedy and education every episode, so enjoy.

 We're back with more questions and even a few answers. From trailers in Alabama to the Amalfi Coast, get all your future retirement strategies here! Try to be happy wherever you are!

 Kelly is vibing on the Jon Bon Jovi documentary and Danny is working a big construction project as we celebrate episode 160. Stay safe out there as you navigate protests and long Covid.

Some celebrity podcasters recently sold our exact format to SiriusXM for $100 Million. How much is our little show worth, maybe a lifetime supply of Canadian beer? Join us for an educational discussion on what would happen if Viagra made your unit double in size. 

 This week we talk about growing up in small towns and what we learned. Evidently that chicks liked the Saturday Night Fever vibe of the 70's. Join us on an educational trip down memory lane...