Come Follow Me with Valerie

I was invited to share my story at a story telling night for Open Table Faith Ministry here in Tyler Texas. Here it is❤️

When I am filled with love I can see through God’s eye. I see the path is straight and everything is in one eternal round. I feel emotional regulated… peace, when I see the purpose in all things.

Joseph Smith had good and bad to him. It isn’t truth to just see the good and it isn’t truth to just see bad. Truth is found in wisdom/ nuance/ the grey.

The Church of Christ is those who love as Christ loves. You become a member when you repent and get rid of hate/biases. The Church of Chirst will look like people who are loving/healing people- leading people to healthier happier lives.

My false self was destroyed by the spirit of love. I hope to destroy others false selves by loving them unconditionally.

It’s IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to be unworthy. The thought or idea that someone could lose their worth IS anti-Christ. As I repented, I learned my worth, and as I learned my incredible worth I now see it in others. My brokenness was me not knowing my value, as I healed my eyes could see myself and others more clearly- as very valuable and loved.

I go over my lived experience and tie them into this weeks come follow me. Rock bottom, the depth of humility is where I have built my foundation and feel like because of rock bottom I could fulfill the law of Moses.

Becoming like a child was when I opened my mind to believe all things. When I started expanding my mind I could see God as a female too. Learning to see God as a female, getting to know Heavenly Mother, led me to see all people as good. When I learned to see all people as good my heart changed and I believe when our heart changes we become like Christ- we become Christs hands and feet. I believe that’s the 2nd coming- when we get to work to make the world a better, more loving less suffering place.

Freedom is treasure.

I went to Restore put on by Faith Matters and witnessed what’s in the Book of Mormon with my own eyes. I saw a group of people who had experienced a change of heart- creating a space of belonging. Shifting from a foundation on a church to a foundation on Christ. Shifting from a war mind set to a peace making mindset. I used to view some people as good and some people as evil- Now all I see are ALL GOOD people that belong and I WANT to make space for them.

My mind has changed of what a prophet is- I used to think a prophet was a leader of a church- but now I see a prophet as someone with no decision making abilities in a church…that’s unbiased and centered on truth. When we go without the truth of God(water) we suffer(famine) until we repent and truth of God(water) is restored that brings forth peace (its fruit).

How can I relate killing and war to my life today in 2024? How can I get an understanding from something I don’t understand? I have to liken it to my life right now in 2024. Killing I think I can relate to canceling/ losing respect for, war I can see as picking a side and loosing respect for a whole group of people- canceling a whole group. When my foundation was a church- I was in war and choas. When my foundation became Jesus Christ- I experienced peace and harmony. Valuing everyone as eternally significant- brought peace and harmony. Not valuing everyone as eternally significant- brought war and chaos.

I believe that God wants us happy, healthy, and whole- NOT controlled. The spirit of oppression takes away our choices and freedom to make decisions for ourselves. The spirit of freedom IS the spirit of God. The Book of Mormon agrees!

I read scriptures so differently. I don’t take everything said as true and will argue, wrestle, and laugh at some things said in the Book of Mormon.

Feel to heal. Crying is how I process pain instead of projecting the pain. I went from a justice mindset to mercy by feeling the pain and crying a lot. To quote this weeks scriptures- I went through a “vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise.”

When I read these scriptures before my faith crisis, when I understood the atonement differently -they filled me with so much fear- I would have been unkind to people like Korihor AND very Kind to people like Alma. After my Faith expansion, getting a different understanding of the atonement. I read these scriptures so differently- God loves both sides equally- Korihor is deeply loved and accepted by God- so is Alma. Accepting the atonement means- no one loses the identity of God’s beloved child- they can literally believe whatever they want- God’s love is limitless. That limitless love creates FREEDOM!

I believe when we act from fear we make poor decisions, we have to feel safe- be saved- to make better decisions. We can help heal the world by making people feel safe❤️

There was contention/ hell… I imagine Lamoni rebuking everyone by saying. “Everyone is made in the image of God- everyone is Good, everyone is doing their best- no one is intentionally being bad. No one is evil. There are no sides- we are all one. Trust, love, and care for one another!” Once they listened and believed they no longer wanted to do evil, no longer had a desire to hate/distrust. They genuinely listened to each other and took care of each other. Listen & learn- to be able to love.

Speaking truth to power is brave- but might get you disconnected from acceptance of people who don’t want to know the truth and thrown into the fire. It’s so painful to see people thrown into the fire- but I know God will take care of them❤️. God has taken care of me.

Holy spaces are spaces where we are fully seen and fully loved. Holy people create these spaces… and we are blessed to be in them- because they can heal us. Chapter 12 goes over what I believe is the faith stages. Hardened hearts create the most wounding spaces, soft hearts create healing places.

We must love the world to save the world. Learning to see the good in everything was a repentance process that cleanse my mind from hate. I now see value in everything and love this world. Seeing everything as good also made my path straight- everything good and bad works for my good.

I am experiencing profound grief because of the loss of the younger generation- it’s our fault- we don’t know if they are okay because they are gone. They were not taken care of well so they are gone. If we awaken to our duty to LOVE one another- to take care of each other, we can heal our church…. Become a place where people want to be❤️. If people aren’t loved well they don’t come back.

I was an unbeliever, a knower. Until my faith crisis- in which I realized I didn’t have faith I had knowledge. In order to have faith there must be doubt. I have SO much doubt in the church, but because I LOVE the members of the church and see them as good- I have so much HOPE/ faith it’s true. Without having the spirit of love, I would not have the capacity to have this faith.

I believe changing our minds until we fill with love is our baptism, that enters us into the kingdom of God. When we are filled with love we see others clearly. There are so many paths to the kingdom of God. I also believe we will experience the holy sabbath day, peace and rest, when we love and value everyone, women equally to men, after we create a sacred space for everyone.

When we put our beliefs down on paper and worship that, we are creating graven images of things we cannot see. They become the God we worship. We can see harm come from this…. This destroys relationships…. Because our beliefs become more important than being kind to others.

If we do not trust one another- we transgress and we will not prosper. But if we turn to the Lord, seek understanding we will be filled with love and trust. And it will multiply❤️

I have found great happiness from setting boundaries, I want this for my kids.

Commandments are boundaries from God for us to create a safe space to be in relationships with others. Keeping the commandments to me means having healthy relationships with others. In relationships we can grow, develop, and find happiness. The natural man is the negative fearful part inside of us. The Holy Spirit is the fearless love we have inside. When I do things out of love they are from God, when I do things out of fear, it’s not usually very loving.

When someone speaks as a prophet they bring peace.

The olive tree is like the kingdom of God. The goals is working towards only producing good fruit. It’s going to take so much work and effort. The growth we see inspires us to keep working.

I see good and bad in everything. It’s a struggle to know the way forward. I share two verses I don’t see as good. I share 4 verses I see as very good.

Easter. I believe Christ showed us the path to be like Him. We have to suffer for our sins. My faith expansion changed my view of sin, I believe sin is our separation from God, our separation from truth and light. Our behaviors become very bad when we are living in sin. We don’t treat others lovingly. We have to feel our sin to heal our sin.

Authenticity is the straight and narrow. Owning and accepting myself fully led me down my straight and narrow. Learning to fully love and embrace myself was my salvation(pulling me away from harm- emotional pain). Through repentance (changing my mind), baptism (washing with water- water symbolizing ‘the truth of God’) led to a remission of sins(washed off hate) and I feel healed 😇

The devil wants people think they are right and to stay the same,to die, and think all is well, everything is fine. But God wants us to change, to live, and will give us line upon line, precept upon precept as we seek further light and knowledge we will be given it. But if we do not seek we don’t not receive.

I love the symbolism of the poison from the serpents. Serpents as old as time have been tied to dualistic thinking and the tree of good and evil. The poison creates a need for healing, creates the need for Christ. And once I started to experience this healing, I became very passionate about Christ, my life, and loving others.

Good and evil. Love and hate. Connection and disconnection. Sweet and bitter. Unconditional love and conditional love. I talk about what I think is good and what is evil. The midst of darkness is what showed me the light and brought my life great joy.

I developed a healthy relationship with my heavenly parents when I became ‘valuable no matter what’ rather than an object that could be discarded when I didn’t behave the way they wanted me to. Now I believe my heavenly parents could never discard me- I am too valuable. It was me that cut off, in my mind, people and myself from God’s acceptance. By accepting the atonement I’ve deepened my love and trust for my heavenly parents and entered into a covenant relationship-my covenant is I promise to love their children as much as they love me… which is Alot❤️. If I am to accept unconditional love- I am to give it.

Taking ownership of our life is coming into our power. Speaking in the 1st person is powerful.

I believe we can go from immaturity to maturity *if* we take ownership of our life. We can become whole, happy, and healthy. Take ownership and create the life we want. We are free after we take ownership.

The truth of God cut me to the core. It destroyed me and a new person was born. The truth is God loves me the most God could love me every single day of my life. God’s love for me doesn’t change. That’s transformative love. I liken the scriptures to my life and find pathways forward.

I explain my lived experience with the tree of life. I view every part as good, every person as good. This is the path to maturity and faith in Jesus Christ is needed to get through the whole mess. People who stay in the knowledge part of life are full of worry. I can love and accept everyone where they are at- with no need to control them.

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I see our younger generation as Nephi- setting an example for the older generation. I’ve learned to love the older generation by experiencing the love of God.

Nephi is a broken human too. I believe the spirit of fear is the spirit of our natural man. I believe Nephi was leading with the spirit of fear which led him to kill somebody- breaking a commandment. The spirit of love leads to life, creativity, and growth - good things. Fear leads to bad things.

I felt sad reading these pages. I felt a great pressure to be in a certainty(prideful) mindset/black and white thinking. “It actually happened”… Changing and growth happens in uncertainty, in humility. I don’t believe in the BOM literally, but I find a greater understanding of God looking at everything symbolically.

I draw attention to the suffering of the Mother of Jesus, Mary. Suffering brought Jesus into the world. Miracles can not happen without suffering. That is the price. That’s reality. Here’s the poem I read by Kaitlin Shetler sometimes I wonder if mary breastfed jesus if she cried out when he bit her or if she sobbed when he would not latch and sometimes I wonder if this is all too vulgar to ask in a church full of men without milk stains on their shirts or coconut oil on their breasts preaching from pulpits off limits to the mother of god but then i think of feeding jesus birthing jesus the expulsion of blood and smell of sweat the salt of a mother’s tears onto the soft head of the salt of the earth feeling lonely and tired hungry annoyed overwhelmed loving and i think if the vulgarity of birth is not honestly preached by men who carry power but not burden who carry privilege but not labor who carry authority but not submission then it should not be preached at all because the real scandal of the birth of god lies in the cracked nipples of a 14 year old and not in the sermons of ministers who say women are too delicate to lead

Confirmation bias was when I placed my beliefs above reality. Faith crisis I disconnected from beliefs and placed reality above beliefs. I was able to reconnect to scripture and beliefs using critical thinking. Making my beliefs fit my reality.

We will be given a place on the throne if we conquer the inclination to hate, the inclination to be better than others. Humility is the doorway to the throne❤️

I believe relationships are essential for us to become whole, healthy, and happy. Accepting that I had infinite worth is accepting Gods unconditional love is accepting the Atonement. It’s helped me to see infinite worth in others and be able to become more kind and more compassionate.

Teaching that God’s acceptance is conditional is a destructive opinion. Constructive is knowing God always loves and accepts us. This is accepting Grace, a gift from God.