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Commute Diary

by Kevin Smith

Just me riffing about my day, the news, my family and things that interest me. Keywords: Melody Beattie, addiction, codependency, relationships, electrician, family

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Episodes

  1. Fake it ‘too you make it

    After a long hiatus from recording, I had a journal entry I felt compelled to share. Why? I don’t even know.

  2. Cookies and milk

    Talking about painful topics,learning how to be a friend when you’ve been the worst possible friend, and finding her own empathy in the midst of pain. Hope tastes like Oreos.

  3. Thinking about depression

    On depression, in-patient therapy, unconditional love, and Hello Fresh litter.

  4. Cry for help

    Where do you balance what you have done to hurt your partner vs. the wounds she brought in. Does it matter? Or is our duty to love someone unconditionally as a hypothetical god would do?

  5. Reflection on how past neglect poisons everything I do and stand for now.

    Discussion of anti-racism devolves into shame for having neglected my family.

  6. More on therapy.

    Stories we tell ourselves, and what individual therapists can learn from couples counselors.

  7. Journal entry 10/6/21

    Are you a leader or follower? Most of us are a little of both.

  8. Journal entry 10/4/20

    A peaceful morning reflecting on peace, meta, I know.

  9. Journal entry 10/2/21

    When are you most spontaneous? I discuss vacation planning, date nights, and when it listen back I start to think: “am I really a control freak?”

  10. Journal entry 10/1/21

    My first journal entry was pretty raw and unfiltered and I apologize for the disturbing images it might evoke. Further entries will be tamer. Maybe.

  11. Quick update

    Cathy’s IOP is “meh”, business is booming, marriage is healing, still need to start a proper podcast.

  12. Helping a depressed spouse

    Cath and I’ll have been dealing with the pain and trauma of my years of betrayal and dishonesty. We love each other and want to make it work, so are working on ourselves and our marriage. Today she goes for a medication management appointment to see if there is a better antidepressant for her needs.

  13. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 11, Day 1

    Acknowledge and share your darkness. It gives others the permission to do the same and it’s freeing. Also, scavenger hunt!

  14. Dealing with conspiracy theories and intrusive thoughts.

    Dealing with conspiracy theories and intrusive thoughts. Response to fellow podcaster.

  15. In-between episode: should I try to make a podcast with more mass appeal?

    Thinking about going away from the belly-button gazing to do a podcast with more interesting content.

  16. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 10, Day 7

    Final thoughts on nurturing. It shouldn’t be scary. Be kind to yourself. Also, I think I’m on the spectrum. And I feel ok about it.

  17. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 10, Day 6.

    Gratitude focus on people who have shown us kindness. My wife is an inspiration. She has suffered so much from my choices and yet still finds joy in her work with animals, and is determined to make our lives together work. She is my best friend, and I am hers. Merry Christmas!

  18. In-between chapters. Uber accident on date night.

    Nice romantic date. Nice to be relearning each other after 31 years. Great conversation, mediocre food, 5 stars.

  19. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 10, Day 5

    To the sex and love addict, a nurturing façade can be a weapon to manipulate others. Part of the “nice guy” syndrome that says if we get along and don’t cause waves, we’ll get our needs met. Instead, let’s focus on honesty with others, and practice sincere nurturing with those we love and truly...

  20. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 10, Day 4

    Thoughts on attachment style (opposites tragically attract), being raised by a narcissist father and having limited opportunity to build a relationship with mom. Nurturing - not my strong suit, but willing to learn.

  21. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 10, Day 3

    Nurturing can be genuine or strained and false. What is the line? More questions than answers, as usual.

  22. In-between episode 12/2/20

    Just thinking about by therapist and my dad. I need to keep a promise I made to have a final check-in with my therapist before going off with no more regular visits. And considering talking to my estranged father before his dementia gets any worse.

  23. Happy Thanksgiving?

    My weird life. We are headed down to the Austin area to rehome a yearling buck whitetail deer that has been living with us, and have Thanksgiving with all the kids, gathering at the home of our oldest. After TG, I’ll head home alone to hold down the fort for two weeks while Cathy stays to help…

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  24. In-between episode.

    Today the boss asked me (again) to consider buying the business. Very interested, but I’d have to cobble together a down payment. And convince my wife.

  25. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 10, Day 2

    More along the lines of “Why do you love me?” Comparing being “in love” as a young emotionally stunted child with truly surrendering and loving another individual unconditionally.

  26. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 10, Day 1

    Starting a week-long series of meditations on nurturing. Caring for others and yourself. A story about a time I was less than nurturing. And a joy-filled night and morning.

  27. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 9, Day 7

    In sum, take better care of yourself, and enjoy it! There is no fun in living to work, being at the mercy of others in your life, and generally just letting yourself be pushed through life. That’s a recipe for disaster. The alternative is to pick out areas where you are not taking care of basic...

  28. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 9, Day 6

    Self care includes making and maintaining friendships. This is friggin’ hard, especially in adulthood. One way to put your toe in the water is to schedule some one-on-one time with someone you (think you) know well, like an adult child, or a sibling, and then gradually introduce someone else into...

  29. The election is over. Yard signs should have been gone 3 days after the rotting jack-o-lanterns.

    I hate to get political, but please take down your Trump flags. It’s over.

  30. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 9, Day 5

    Today felt very special. Cathy and I have been through a lot and it seems like we are falling in love all over again. We got up early to do some bookkeeping talk. She wants to learn to get a better handle on her business numbers so she can get this thing profitable before the PPP loan money runs...

  31. Quick thoughts about cats’ tails.

    They seem to be made for stepping on.

  32. Short journal entry

    How do you come back from betrayal? How do you help the betrayed when you have lost so much trust? Love is patient.

  33. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 9, Day 4.

    More on self care and the continuation of my urological situation. And a listener contacted me - thanks for the kind feedback!

  34. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 9, Day 3

    Thoughts on self care and the tendency toward workaholism. Working for unhealthy need for approval. In my new career, same opportunity and temptation exists, need to stay grounded.

  35. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 9, Day 2

    Self care includes your health, your more of transportation, living with your values of honesty and kindness, and more. Prostate exam went fine, by the way.

  36. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 9 Day 1

    This week our value is self care. Taking care of your money, health, time, relationships, boundaries, etc. Join me as I get sidetracked on urology and asserting yourself and why codependent people are sometimes described as “wantless and needless”.

  37. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 8 Day 7

    Closest I’ve come to prayer. My wife is having a breast mass examined by ultrasound and it’s all I. An think about this morning.

  38. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 8, Day 6

    Thank God, we’re almost done with the prayer chapter.

  39. The episodes in-between - LED retrofits for fluorescent fixtures.

    Today I ramble about the different types of LED tubes available for fluorescent fixtures and rewiring requirements of each. Plus a little about color temperature of lighting choices for your home.

  40. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 8, Day 5

    A recovery prayer with some good stuff in it. Letting go of the self is the hardest thing for a narcissist, but I think a true narcissist wouldn’t even hold that up as a goal. So that gives me hope.

  41. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 8 Day 4

    More on prayer, and why I find it hard to get motivated to talk about prayer. Arrival of our grandson, helping with Halloween on the farm, and rejoicing in recovery and rebuilding (building?) the relationship with my wife.

  42. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 8 Day 3

    Prayer as self care, and why do we always put ourselves last?

  43. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 8, Day 2

    Let’s talk a little about prayer for non-believers.

  44. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 8, Day 1

    Prayer for atheists. Drive-in movie and playing with an FM transmitter.

  45. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 7, Day 7

    Last meditation on gratitude. Several diary entries over a couple days around family, home brewing, and the family farm.

  46. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 7, Day 6

    This week on gratitude has me thinking about “wanting what you have” rather than “having what you want”. Also, on being trustworthy and earning back lost trust.

  47. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 7, Day 5

    Want to practice expressing gratitude? Just go nuts. Thank everybody and everything you interact with whether it’s a blessing or an inconvenience. Packing for a vacation is both a blessing and a curse.

  48. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 7, Day 4

    Practice gratitude, very intentionally. Look at the things in your life that are t ideal, and be grateful anyway. Out loud. Beers are ready for the limbo competition. A session IPA and an Irish stout.

  49. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 7, Day 3

    More on gratitude and how it applies when life isn’t what you want it to be. Also, getting ready for a vacation. Horse camping in Texas.

  50. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie, Week 7, Day 2

    Gratitude is not a response to having the live that you want, it’s a practiced state of mind. Whether you believe in god or not, a thankful attitude is a key to happiness. I’m thankful for my privileges that allowed me to go to college, practice a career in air-conditioned comfort, as well as the...

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ABOUT THIS SHOW

Just me riffing about my day, the news, my family and things that interest me. Keywords: Melody Beattie, addiction, codependency, relationships, electrician, family

HOSTED BY

Kevin Smith

Frequently Asked Questions

How many episodes does Commute Diary have?

Commute Diary currently has 108 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.

What is Commute Diary about?

Just me riffing about my day, the news, my family and things that interest me. Keywords: Melody Beattie, addiction, codependency, relationships, electrician, family

How often does Commute Diary release new episodes?

Commute Diary publishes regularly with 108 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.

Where can I listen to Commute Diary?

You can listen to Commute Diary on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.

Who hosts Commute Diary?

Commute Diary is created and hosted by Kevin Smith.
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