PODCAST · comedy
CORN DOWN Prank Calls
by dragonmere
Prank calls from a weekly live show, with an attempt at original ideas and premises. Hosted by dragonmere and featuring wastedmemory.
Episodes
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The CORNDOWN pt 341: with Lena Headey as Sarah Connor
The Google has, unsolicited, determined a number of problems with a number of businesses. First and foremost is the fact that they’ve been under-performing; what this means is anyone’s guess. The second issue is Smurf. There’s Smurfs on my chicken, on my gas, on my papers. And as far as I’m…
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The CORNDOWN pt 340: with Jenna Elfman as Dharma Montgomery
This is an unscheduled show, out of the blue, kind of just for no reason. Just like the payments we’re trying to make. Whuppy talks to a man who helps him out with his Century Toilet Computer 2000. Very helpful. I deal with a place that doesn’t know how to do it’s job and help whuppy to do the...
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The CORNDOWN pt 339: with Tim Dunigan as Captain Jonathan Power
You know how when you go to fast food places, they have way better napkins that they aren’t giving you? I know all about this, all too well. So what do you do? You upgrade your napkins, thats what you do. Mutli-Fold-Employee-Use-Only-Napkins exist, and you can have them, but only if you know to...
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The CORNDOWN pt 338: with Doug Parker as Mega Man
What, actually, is the difference between a window and a door? Tough question. The answer is; nothing. There is no difference between a window and a door. This poses serious issues for whuppy and myself. First off, can’t find the door at all. Very unprofessional. Perhaps it’s not that we can’t…
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The CORNDOWN pt 337: with Evan Peters as Jeffrey Dahmer
Something was up with the audio in this CORNDOWN. It kept going silent. Pretty sure that’s not normal. Things aren’t just supposed to go silent. One thing that isn’t silent? The lawnmower; it’s going nuts. Wastedmemory is here this week, and he’s getting odd photos and videos of his KF Chicken...
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The CORNDOWN pt 336: with Jim Varney as Ernest P. Worrell
Managers at fast food places are supposed to have roadside assistance to protect the customers that travel through their drive thru. In this gripping episode of CORNDOWN, we expose businesses not maintaining this simple standard. It doesn’t really work as a premise. Whuppy and I dabble in getting...
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The CORNDOWN pt 335: with Ben Stein as Economics Teacher
This CORNDOWN picks up quickly. Then whuppy has an ongoing issue, and no one is doing anything to help. This persists for another forty minutes. Then we’re back to picking me up, it really shouldn’t be that big of a deal, I don’t weigh that much. We also get some employees to wipe down. You have…
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The CORNDOWN pt 334: with Nicolas Cage as Castor Troy/Sean Archer
This is a bad episode; It’s covered in scum. There’s chicken scum, and scum on the buns. Whuppy tries to do a bit on the issue but it doesn’t work out due to packet loss. Scum, scum, scum. There’s scum everywhere. And I think they’re heating the buns? Whuppy also discovers if you say “coffee…
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The CORNDOWN pt 333: with Hayley Mills as Miss Carrie Bliss
I failed on this one, BIG TIME. First off, I failed to order, then whuppy failed to do a bunch of stuff. This most certainly does not meet my personal standards, and I am officially apologizing. Shortly after that, some animals got bit in the parking lot, which is not normal. There’s even a…
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The CORNDOWN pt 332: with Patrice O’Neal as T-Bone
This is definitely a double pump’d episode. It starts off with some lost food, some old food, a display model, and setting it to all 9s, then we get into the double pumping. You can’t just let customers double pump like that. It’s bad for business. On top of that? I get chicken face, and from not...
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The CORNDOWN pt 331: with Vincent D’Onofrio as Robert Goren
It’s Mark’s last day, but not for the reason you might think. Things get dark. It’s whuppy’s fault. You gotta check on your inactive employees, not check your brakes in the drive thru. We also prevent bad brand association by taking food from homeless persons. That’s about when the employee puts...
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The CORDNOWN pt 330: with H. Jon Benjamin as Walter
Why is it so hard to pay full price? It seems like they’re always forcing promotional discounts on you, and I hate it. It’s a really problem issue. Wastedmemory also discoveres you get in trouble with the police when you give chicken to children. And you go straight to jail if you give chicken to...
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The CORNDOWN pt 329: with Brendon Small as Perry
This show starts with a blocked bike lane. This is not only incredibly unsafe, but it’s annoying and I hate it. You have to keep the bike lane cleared. But every single call picks up. That never happens. Weird. From there, in the process of getting our orders notarized, wastedmemory and I notice...
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The CORNDOWN pt 328: with Timothy Stack as Sam
A lot of this episode of CORNDOWN takes place in the bathroom. A lot of this episode of CORNDOWN has to do with hair. As such, the first calls are all about finding hair in the bathroom, which evokes some bad vibes and leads way to being scared in an empty bathroom. From there, whuppy and I work…
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The CORNDOWN pt 327: with Mark Holton as Francis Buxton
Listen, I don’t know what you think I saw, but I didn’t. I didn’t see anything. And that’s what we’re telling people on the phone. I saw nothing, I’m not going to say anything. This makes a lot of people apprehensive. Wastedmemory can’t feel anything though, which isn’t normal. This leads to an...
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The CORNDOWN pt 326: with Alyson Court as Loonette the Clown
This is probably the most normal episode ever, and there isn’t any heavy editing. It starts by returning a page we received on our beeper. This leads me to remembering I was banned from Hooters last night, and seeing how it affects other businesses. Wasted and I dabble in some light flashlight...
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The CORNDOWN pt 325: with Chris Isaak as Agent Chester “Chet” Desmond
The first call is about Schwebel’s bread, which is a 120+ year old local bakery, and they announced they were shutting down shortly after this call. I thought they were a national label. I didn’t mean to get them shut down. I’m sorry. Other than that we’re shooting for 100% on this show. We try…
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The CORNDOWN pt 324: with Greg Lee as Handyman Rick
I really don’t have a great reason, but this CORNDOWN seems to revolve around nail clippings. I’m not particularly proud of this. Luckily, whuppy gets things wet, and we grab some (personal) information on the chicken, or this would have been all clippings. There is a good amount of dealing with...
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The CORNDOWN pt 323: with Bob McFadden as Stargazer
This show starts out with a few grapes, a little encouragement, and then a SERIOUS doublecross. Our famous bowls are all messed up, with wrong ingredients and incorrect operation, slamming into the frame at a forty five degree angle. From there, it’s salamanders. Pretty much all salamanders. We…
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The CORNDOWN pt 322: with Kevin Spacey as John Doe
This show starts off strong, as I get a B King to mail a Whopper to my PO box to replace a scratched bun. This leads to wastedmemory having a scratched bag and a creased reciept, and I deal with a pen marked bag. We dabble with some burger sports before discovering the effectivness of reporting...
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The CORNDOWN pt 321: with Julianne Moore as Clarice Starling
Ever got gravy on your neck? Did it leave a tattoo? Of course it did, so you’ll understand the first batch of calls. We also deal with returning calls we never actually got, and move gravy around between KF Chickens like its our job. There’s tall ones, Wild One’s, and I think Tiff is probably a...
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The CORNDOWN pt 320: with Richard Belzer as Detective John Munch
Well, what we have here is a heavily goblin themed show. It starts out with red lights across the board, and settings askew. A goblin is blamed, and then focused on for several calls ranging from goblin meat to a goblin shopper. I do have the surprisingly legitimate premise of telling places we...
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The CORNDOWN pt 319: with Townsend Coleman as Muckman
The first half is all KF Chicken. We, or rather I start this CORNDOWN with a couple of loose sacks and a classic stuck lid or two. From there I explore the topic of mullet chickens before Whuppy joins in to order some Mullet Chicken of his own. Then we move on to cubes. Chicken cubes, mostly.…
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The CORNDOWN pt 318: with Robert Llewellyn as Kryten
Oh boy, this episode of CORNDOWN starts off with a man trying to take the piss, MY piss. Not acceptable. This quickly gives way to hangout sessions with staff, where we learn several facts about quiktrip employees; they work 10 hour shifts, they get no breaks, and they are happy about it. From...
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The CORNDOWN pt 317: with Liam Hemsworth as Victor
Oh wow. This show was a disaster. Partially a national disaster? I don’t know what qualifies, but I deal with heavy ‘technical’ difficulties (I pushed a button by accident), and wastedmemory gets hit with a series of tornadoes. Seriously, mostly. Between all the madness, there’s signals from a...
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The CORNDOWN pt 316: with Henry Nixon as Downey
Well, this is a strange one. First call is about a hidden compartment housing a second beef patty, that’s normal. Second call is over half an hour of yelling at a man who says he reads books. You kinda have to hear it to understand. After that, wasted is having parking issues, and I’m trying to...
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The CORNDOWN pt 315: with Toby Huss as Artie, “The Strongest Man in the World”
This one starts with classic lettuce separation. Classic. Next we try to get premium packaging for our burgers, such as chili containers, drink containers, or anything other than paper! We hide food, stash food, get food out of the dumpster, etc. ad nauseum. Really standard stuff, I can’t stress...
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The CORNDOWN pt 314: with Emma Lung as Heather
It’s a good ol’ fashioned Fish’n’Chips CORNDOWN, as we start strong with french fry themed calls and quickly discover the fun of dropping the fries. We also deal with The Manager of The French Fries (a potatoe), and dabble in finding a firm limit on dogs and skunks. As you can expect, this leads…
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The CORNDOWN pt 313: with Chuck Norris as Scott
You ever had a Wendy’s cut your crust off without you asking? Because that’s exactly how this CORNDOWN starts. We also discover the buns don’t match; what with being top and bottom and all. Somewhere in there we received a failing grade on the app, but I still have no clue what we did wrong. This...
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The CORNDOWN pt 312: with Brendon Small as Brendon Small
This episode of The CORNDOWN is straight goofy. It starts off with a bunch of goofy sandwiches and goofy fries and six diet cokes. According to wastedmemory, some of the goofy food was donated. I, however, won a bunch of free stuff from the Jamba Juice at the mall. This leads to discussion of the...
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The CORNDOWN pt 311: with Lyssa Browne as Slippy Toad
In this episode of CORNDOWN, I start off trying to dress things up a little bit, which leads to several types of complaints about hats on burgers, with a bit of help from someone who sounds like whuppy. From there, we take our kids to watch employees eat at Arby’s, the New Manager Christopher…
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The CORNDOWN pt 310: with Toby Huss as Kahn Souphanousinphone
On this CORNDOWN, I keep hitting my head over and over on sandwiches, trying to explain how it happened while wastedmemory adds his own versions of the same kind of injury. That spills into acts of God, like dusty sandwiches, questionable chili, and sisters hogging nuggets, which naturally leads…
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The CORNDOWN pt 309: with Will Lee as Mr. Hooper
On this CORNDOWN, I get wrapped up in big talk about an oil tycoon and backing each other up, which then turns into arguments about what counts as inappropriate, especially when whuppy keeps jumping in to make it worse. From there I spiral into some deer/cat confusion, a litle hat theft, and we…
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The CORNDOWN pt 308: with Chris Pine as Captain James T. Kirk
On this CORNDOWN, I get locked in to drive-thru problems that go too far, starting with bathroom questions, fire trucks, and gold burgers, with wastedmemory jumping in for the old people. That turns into burgers that feel wrong in texture, color, and purpose, mixed with trust issues, eye contact...
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The CORNDOWN pt 307: with Jared Leto as Angel Face
On this episode of CORNDOWN, I’m pausing orders and looking for warning signs, while whuppy jumps in with his own version of things. That turns into blood on shirts, in cups, in bags, and hotels with whuppy and Tifff adding to the confusion instead of cleaning it up. I’m also dealing with…
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The CORNDOWN pt 306: with Bryan Cranston as Tim Whatley
On this CORNDOWN, I start with string but the wheels come off fast and pieces get lost while wastedmemory keeps adding reasons it might be my fault. This includes food getting tied up and layered wrong, especially once ads and bootleg versions get involved. I get stuck on trying to leave places,...
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The CORNDOWN pt 305: with Chris Diamantopoulos as Moe
On this CORNDOWN, I keep coming back to a ziplock bag that somehow turns into individual nuggets and profits, and wastedmemory jumps in with a lesson on how to talk. That slides into a long stretch about fish and exactly how you’re allowed to kill fish before it becomes a problem, plus buckets,...
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The CORNDOWN pt 304: with Daws Butler as Quisp
On this CORNDOWN, I start with sticky food and an itchy leg that quickly turns into me repeatedly admitting I might have lice. That opens the door to a long run about bugs in hotels, blankets, feet, and personal bugs too, with wastedmemory making it worse by making multiple calls. Things briefly...
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The CORNDOWN pt 303: with Pat Fraley as Baxter Stockman
On this CORNDOWN, the first half is all about tires, popping them on purpose, swapping them with a spare, and never being done with it, with wastedmemory making the whole situation worse by adding to it. That eventually leads into food being up in places it shouldn’t be, particularly on faces,...
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The CORNDOWN pt 302: with Shirley Temple as Heidi
On this CORNDOWN, I start with ice and lettuce. With wasted’s help we move to cheese problems that keep getting flipped, melted, or turned inside out. That leads into a run where burgers cause real-world damage such as breaking windows, messing up cars, closing bank accounts, and getting people...
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The CORNDOWN pt 301: with Michael K Williams as Omar Little
On this CORNDOWN, I start on the idea of getting food as a gift, with wastedmemory jumping in transfering his customer status. That leads into sneezing from sandwiches, acting like an idiot, and getting hit with food for acting like an idiot. Things drift into late Christmas and replacement…
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The CORNDOWN pt 300: with Debbie Lee Carrington as Valerie Vomit
On this CORNDOWN, we start with figuring out what actually makes a gift we like, and naturally get stuck on soap and blankets, with wastedmemory complicating it with directions from Tennessee. That turns into me tring to turn myself in for unclear reasons, losing track of where I am, and…
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The CORNDOWN pt 299: with Jason Momoa as Ronon Dex
On this CORNDOWN, I start with worrying my dog is going to choke, starting with a small curly, with wastedmemory piling on and making the situation sticky. That leads into a stretch about sandwiches and how they’re made, tracked, questioned, handed off, and sometimes hollow. All the while...
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The CORNDOWN pt 298: with Gary Cole as Harvey Birdman
On this CORNDOWN we start with a stretch about flagpoles that spirals into access issues once wastedmemory jumps in. From there we move into phone use, online photos including people, and a long microwave stint that somehow turns into a serious issue with violent foil and pants. Wastedmemory...
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The CORNDOWN pt 297: with Michael Shanks as Daniel Jackson
On this CORNDOWN, I start with a run of calls where I try to get people to guess my weight, while whuppy jumps in with his own twist on the “same pants” problem that plagues hotels. That pushes me to snap and leads to all kinds of smoking-the-hotel trouble and a short streak of pirate-themed...
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The CORNDOWN pt 296: with Zach Galifianakis as Chip Baskets
On this episode of CORNDOWN, I explore the idea of doing things in threes and spend some time trying to protect products, with whuppy and buccshot adding their own takes. We spend a lot of time estimating and assessing, which very naturally leads into things like potato hands and hotel…
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The CORNDOWN pt 295: with Joseph Tudisco as Mike Santini
This episode runs on the same kind of chaotic mall-parking-lot energy as the others. There’s a cat hanging around outside, dad’s trying to go viral, and opting to believe bushes may be persons. There are private-investigator vibes, weird mouth problems, floating-in-water food, and a lot of DIYing...
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The CORNDOWN pt 294: with Edward Penn as Owen March
On this CORNDOWN we start with arguing about whether we need emergency blankets or if regular ones work. I try to shave a few seconds off before we get weird with first aid kits, and whuppy gets in trouble for taking too long. A raccoon in a bag shows up, things get spooky and creepy, and I keep...
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The CORNDOWN pt 293: with Ola Ray as Michael’s Girl
On this CORNDOWN I run into disabled cars over and over, each one worse than the last, while whuppy tries to impose speed limits and ends up talking about Halloween bones. The whole thing drifts into being treated like vampires, spiders, goblins, etc. before we get stuck counting really high room...
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The CORNDOWN pt 292: with Glenn Powell as Chad Powers
This CORNDOWN starts with me trying to report some accomplices to unwilling management, and whuppy uncovers a brown leather jacket man incident. Next I take a data dump or two and things get weird fast with loose files, Walmart bags, and papers being served back and forth like it’s a courtroom....
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Prank calls from a weekly live show, with an attempt at original ideas and premises. Hosted by dragonmere and featuring wastedmemory.
HOSTED BY
dragonmere
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does CORN DOWN Prank Calls have?
CORN DOWN Prank Calls currently has 346 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is CORN DOWN Prank Calls about?
Prank calls from a weekly live show, with an attempt at original ideas and premises. Hosted by dragonmere and featuring wastedmemory.
How often does CORN DOWN Prank Calls release new episodes?
CORN DOWN Prank Calls publishes regularly with 346 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to CORN DOWN Prank Calls?
You can listen to CORN DOWN Prank Calls on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts CORN DOWN Prank Calls?
CORN DOWN Prank Calls is created and hosted by dragonmere.
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