Cosmic Chronicles: Astrology with Cosmic Cannibal
by Cosmic Cannibal
Join Cosmic Cannibal (writer and snarky astrologer) as she reports on the astrological happenings of the week. Equal parts astrological resource and satire, Cosmic Chronicles explores all things astrology, from zodiac signs and planets to transits and horoscopes, in a way no other astrology podcast can.
Episodes
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Uranus Direct: Chaos, Change, Wake-Up Calls
CHAOS, CHANGE & WAKE-UP CALLS What: Uranus direct in Taurus When: Jan. 30 - July 7, 2025 Who’s Impacted: EVERYONE (seriously, everyone!) Takeaway: with the outer planet of shake-ups, surprises, and radical change moving forward through the fixed earth sign, it’s charging towards disruptive change...
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2025 Aquarius New Moon: What YOU Need to Know
The 2025 January new moon in Aquarius has the future calling, and it wants YOU to get lucky. In this video, astrologer and author Cosmic Cannibal (nee Camille) has the Top 5 things YOU Need to know about this lucky new moon, including why it is SOOO lucky. Please don’t forget to like, share, and...
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Cusps of Change: The 29° & 0° Crisis
What happens when planets transit 29° & 0° ? Neptune, Saturn, and Uranus are changing EVERYTHING in 2025. In this episode of the astrology podcast, astrologer & author Cosmic Cannibal gives you the inside scoop on what it means when outer planets move into these critical degrees in astrology. Is…
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Gemini Full Moon + Mercury Direct
Well, well, well, cosmic cuties. On December 15th (or thereabouts, depending on your time zone), la Luna is full in the chatty mutable air sign, marking a peak moment in your communications and growth journey; meanwhile the planet of communication leaves its retrograde frenzy for good. And...
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Mercury Retrograde & the 2024 Sagittarius New Moon
Yep, it’s here. Mercury Retrograde. This week’s astrology kicks off with a loud, in-your-face backpedal for the Messenger / Megaphone planet in fiery Sagittarius. The good news? Well, there’s actually quite a bit of good news (believe it or not), and your favorite snarky-yet-savvy Gemini...
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Friction and the Aries Full Moon
This week's astrology Oct. 14 - Oct. 20, 2024. In the words of 1999 Jennifer Lopez, “Let’s get loud, let’s get loud!” Because this week brings some annoying (maybe tense) astrology, including a very in-your-face Aries full moon, all of which beckons you to get loud about the things that are...
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Mercury direct, Venus in Libra, and sooo much forward motion
This Week's Astrology for Aug. 26, 2024. Join Astrologer & author, Camille (aka Cosmic Cannibal) in this forecast, and unpack what mercury direct, Venus in Libra, and Uranus Retrograde mean for YOU. There might also be some quips thrown in, because ya know. Have you HEARD the news? The debut…
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YOUR August Monthly Horoscope
What does the astrology of August have in store for YOU? Cosmic Cannibal's got the answers. In this episode, the snarky-yet-savvy Gemini astrologer & author breaks down the month of August and its most impactful astrology, including: Mercury retrograde & the Leo new moon, Venus in Virgo & Libra,...
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This Week's Astrology: July 15 - July 21, 2024
This is certainly a super-charged, emotionally heightened week. Not only because it follows a weekend assassination attempt, but also because of the astrology. More precisely, because of Mars. Join snark-yet-savvy Gemini astrologer, Cosmic Cannibal in another laugh-out-loud episode of the…
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Sizzling Passion and Potential Power Struggles: Venus opposite Pluto Rx
A peek into the week's astrology, July 8 - 14, 2024. Join astrologer and author Cosmic Cannibal as she breaks down this week's most important astrological events, especially (and most importantly) Venus in Leo opposite Retrograde Pluto in Aquarius. See the complete podcast transcript and sign up...
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Everything YOU Need to Know About the 2024 Jupiter-Uranus Conjunction
On April 20, 2024, Jupiter and Uranus align in earth sign Taurus, setting the stage for a potentially explosive, exciting, and electrifying weekend. A conjunction between these two cosmic juggernauts is rare—it only happens about once every 14 years—and it does, it initiates a new cycle of...
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We Need to Talk About the Big Game 2024
In this episode of Cosmic Gumbo, Katie & Camille hilariously dish on the astrology of the Big Game 2024. From Taylor Swift's political power (and whether or not she somehow rigged the game for beau Travis Kelce) to the zodiac signs of Kansas City & San Francisco's top players and coaches, this…
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Your February Horoscope
Join astrologer and writer Cosmic Cannibal as she hilariously breaks down February's biggest transits. In this episode, Cosmic offers her witty insights, astrological expertise, and copious rambling about Mercury, Venus and Mars in Aquarius, Back to the Future Part II, the Aquarius new moon and...
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We Need to Talk about Aquarius
Why does alien Alf eat SO many cats? Was Aquarius Michael Jordan secretly an alien (and is that why he's SOO good at b-ball)? In this episode of Cosmic Gumbo, Katie & Camille dish on all things Aquarius, from aliens and robots, to Paris Hilton, and why David Bowie should be an honorary Aquarius....
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Pluto in Aquarius 2024 -- What YOU Need to Know About This MAJOR Shift
Join snarky-yet-savvy astrologer and writer Cosmic Cannibal as she hilariously breaks down one of 2024's biggest astrology transits, Pluto in Aquarius. Cosmic guides you through all the themes, meanings, and history of Pluto in Aquarius 2024, offering her witty insights, astrological expertise…
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The 2024 Capricorn New Moon & ALL the Goal-Setting Astrology of Jan. 8
In this episode, snarky-yet-savvy astrologer Cosmic Cannibal has YOUR weekly forecast, including her thoughts on why the Capricorn New Moon is SOOOO good for setting long-lasting goals, and how YOU can best work with the astrology of the week. Feeling the weight of life and astrology's...
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We Need to Talk About Santa Claus
Is Santa Claus really a Capricorn? How much of a Scorpio is the Grinch? And are Gremlins more Gemini or Virgo in nature? In this special holiday episode of Cosmic Gumbo, Katie & Camille dish on the astrology of classic Christmas figures, from Santa Claus & The Grinch to Gremlins and The Polar...
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This Week's Astrology: what YOU need to know about Dec. 11 thru Dec. 17
In this episode, snarky-yet-savvy astrologer Cosmic Cannibal dives into the astrology of the week of December 11th, 2023. Mercury makes some sweet music with Venus, the Sun & Moon align in Sagittarius, Mercury begins its moonwalk through Capricorn, and Neptune cloaks the Sun in another dreamy…
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This Week's Astrology: What YOU Need to Know About Dec. 4 thru Dec. 10
This week's astrology focuses on relationships and depth connection, thanks to Venus and Jupiter. Snark-yet-savvy astrologer, Cosmic Cannibal has YOUR horoscope forecast for the week of Dec. 4, 2023, including all the need-to-know planetary motions and what they mean for YOU. Is YOUR sign…
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What Mercury in Capricorn Means for YOU
On Dec. 1, the planet of talk, text, and data enters earth sign Capricorn, ushering in a bevy of serious, pragmatic, and money-making thoughts. In this episode, snarky-yet-savvy astrologer Cosmic Cannibal gives you the 411 on Mercury in Capricorn and what it means for your writing, thinking…
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Introducing Cosmic Gumbo
Talk Soup meets your Cosmo horoscope in Cosmic Gumbo, a brand new comedy / astrology / pop culture podcast featuring Gemini astrologer, Camille (aka Cosmic Cannibal), and Kansas City Leo, Katie (who is totally, 100% a Chiefs fan). No star or star sign is safe from being roasted, toasted, and…
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Why the 2023 Sagittarius full moon is soooo lucky
What do the stars have in store for you on the 2023 Sagittarius full moon? In this episode of Cosmic Chronicles, snarky-yet-savvy astrologer and writer Cosmic Cannibal breaks down the June full moon. Taking place in mutable fire sign Sagittarius, this full moon is sure to ignite your luck, faith...
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Cosmic Weather Forecast: 2023 Gemini SZN
What do the stars have in store for you this round of Gemini season? Join snarky-yet-savvy astrologer and writer Cosmic Cannibal as she breaks down this season's biggest transits, from the Sagittarius full moon, to Mercury in Gemini and everything in between. Cosmic guides you through all the…
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Taurus Takeover: Jupiter, Mercury, and the New Moon shake things up this week
In this week's episode, your host Cosmic Cannibal dives deep into the cosmic currents that are set to take over in the coming week. With Mercury stationing direct in Taurus on May 14th, Jupiter entering Taurus on May 16th, a Taurus New Moon on May 19th, Mars entering Leo on May 20th, and the Sun...
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Get Ready to LOL with these May 2023 Horoscopes
What do the stars have in store for you this May 2023? Join snarky-yet-savvy astrologer and writer Cosmic Cannibal as she hilariously breaks down this month’s biggest transits, from the Scorpio lunar eclipse, to Jupiter in Taurus and Mars in Leo. These May horoscopes will make you laugh out loud...
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Saturn in Pisces lowdown: transit meaning, Saturn Returns, horoscopes and more
On March 7, 2023, Saturn entered Pisces for the first time in 30 years. Needless to say, this is a monumental transit, and Cosmic Cannibal has you covered. In this episode, the snarky-yet-savvy astrologer dives deep into the meaning and role of Saturn in astrology, uncovering the truth about…
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Hump Day Horoscope: Venus in Aquarius + Cancer Full Moon
What does it mean when Venus is in Aquarius? How is this Cancer full moon going to affect your zodiac sign? Snarky yet savvy astrologer Cosmic Cannibal doesn't really answer these questions, but on this episode of Cosmic Chronicles, she does talk about Venus in Aquarius celebrities Oprah and…
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Mercury & Venus in Capricorn and the Gemini Full Moon
Mercury & Venus are saying buh-bye to Sagg, the Moon is getting swole, and both Jupiter & Neptune are butting heads with Mercury. Your fave snarky-yet-savvy astrologer, Cosmic Cannibal is here for it ALL. She’s also got your horoscope for the week of Dec. 5, which includes those transits, as well...
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2022 Venus in Sagittarius
After a long hiatus, your favorite snarky-yet-savvy astrologer is back with a bang. In this episode, Cosmic Cannibal has your oh-so funny forecast for 2022 Venus in Sagittarius, a transit that’s sure to light a fire under your butt worse than a Fiery Doritos Locos Taco from Taco Bell. Of course,...
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Cosmic Weather Forecast: 2022 Virgo Season
The Sun has entered Virgo and Cosmic Cannibal has your forecast for it. In this short episode, your favorite snarky-yet-savvy (and oh-so self-obsessed) Gemini astrologer reports on all the transits happening this 2022 Virgo SZN, including: The Virgo new moon, Mercury retrograde, Venus in Virgo…
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Why 2022 Venus in Leo is your excuse to love yourself
Summer’s hottest transit for love has arrived, and snarky-yet-savvy Gemini astrologer Cosmic Cannibal has your hilarious horoscopes for it. In this episode, an over-caffeinated Cosmic explains why 2022 Venus in Leo is THE transit to bring more self-love into your life and why these next few weeks...
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Everything you need to know about the 2022 Leo New Moon
It's here, the grandest new moon of 2022. Snarky-yet-savvy Gemini astrologer Cosmic Cannibal has EVERYTHING you need to know about it, including the muy importante transits leading up to and following the new moon annnnd... horoscopes! Plus, there's disco muzak, copious ramblings and a few…
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Cosmic Weather Forecast: 2022 Leo Season
It’s here. The most show-stopping transit of the year: LEO SEASON. And snarky-yet-savvy Gemini astrologer Cosmic Cannibal has your Cosmic Weather Forecast for it. (Plus, she rambles a bit about various Leo celebs and about what makes the fire sign so darn great but also slightly insufferable.)…
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2022 Venus in Cancer horoscopes and overview
The love planet is at it again! This time, she’s sliding into Cancer’s DM and giving us all a romantic and financial transit to remember. (At least until Aug. 11.) In this episode, snarky-yet-savvy astrologer Cosmic Cannibal has your horoscope for 2022 Venus in Cancer, including special dates for...
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Manifesting and the 2022 Capricorn full moon
What do Jim Carrey, Donna Summer, Jeff Besos and the Milwaukee Bucks have in common? They’re all Capricorns! (Except for the Bucks.) They’re also all a part of the report on the 2022 Capricorn full moon. In this hilariously absurd episode, snarky-yet-savvy astrologer Cosmic Cannibal talks in…
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Mars in Taurus + Mercury in Cancer Mashup
On July 5, Mars and Mercury make major moves and snarky-yet-savvy #Gemini astrology Cosmic Cannibal has your forecast for BOTH. In this episode of the comedy astrology podcast, Cosmic rambles about 2022 Mars in Taurus and Mercury in Cancer and why one makes go after Golden Corral coupons and the...
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2022 Cancer new moon listicle extravaganza + Retrograde Neptune in Pisces
It's here, another new moon and snarky-yet-savvy astrologer Cosmic Cannibal has a very special new moon listicle / transit report for it. Cosmic also gives you all the details on retrograde Neptune in Pisces, including but not limited to: what it means and why some signs are filing a class cation...
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Cosmic Weather Forecast: Cancer Season and BONUS Venus in Gemini horoscopes
Cancer season is in full swing, but do YOU know what this season has in store for you? Cosmic Cannibal does. The snarky-yet-savvy and oh-so self-involved astrologer has your Cosmic Weather Forecast full of all the transits happening this 2022 Cancer season, INCLUDING Venus in Gemini. There are…
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Revelations and the 2022 Sagittarius full moon
What do Smokey the Bear and Emeril Lagasse have in common? They’re both a part of this extra spicy and extra satirical horoscope for the 2022 Sagittarius full moon. In this jam-packed episode, snarky-yet-savvy astrologer, Cosmic Cannibal explains what the lunation is about and all the revelations...
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2022 Eclipse Season Survival Guide
On April 30, Eclipse Season begins with a solar eclipse in Taurus. Are you prepared for what these lunations have in store for you? In this final episode of the astrology podcast, snarky-yet-savvy astrologer extraordinaire, Cosmic Cannibal, gives you the lowdown on 2022 eclipse season, including...
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2022 Mars in Pisces and the Libra full moon
Mars and the Moon come together (not really) to make for an active weekend, and snarky-yet-savvy astrologer Cosmic Cannibal has your forecast for it all. In this episode of the comedy astrology podcast, Cosmic rambles about 2022 Mars in Pisces (and why it kinda sucks) as well as the Libra full…
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What 2022 Venus in Pisces means for your sign
Yep, Venus has entered Pisces and snarky astrologer Cosmic Cannibal is here to tell you what the hell that means and why you should care. In this episode of the one-and-only comedy astrology podcast, Cosmic covers all aspects of Venus in Pisces, from the love planet's rulerships and Pisces'...
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Your 2022 Aries New Moon Horoscope
Ready for an ambition resurrection? The 2022 Aries new moon is sure to revive and reanimate your goals, and snarky-yet-savvy astrologer Cosmic Cannibal has your hilarious horoscope for how. In this episode, Cosmic reports on everything you need to know about the 2022 Aries new moon, from all the...
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2022 Virgo full moon
Predicting the future is hard work, which is why snarky yet savvy astrologer Cosmic Cannibal doesn't do that. She especially doesn't do that in this episode of the humorous astrology podcast, which reports on all that's happening on and around the 2022 Virgo full moon. Did the full moon already...
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The March 2022 Pisces New Moon
What do Dua Lipa, Abraham Hicks, Cinderella and Ayahuasca have in common? They’re all part of this wacky, whimsical and slightly satirical horoscope for the March 2022 Pisces New Moon. In this short and sweet report, snarky astrologer Cosmic Cannibal tells you everything you need to know about…
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Pisces Season 2022
Get ready to dive into your feeling these coming weeks, because it’s finally Pisces Season. In this episode of the astrology podcast, snarky-yet-savvy astrology satirist Cosmic Cannibal has your hilarious forecast for Pisces season 2022. Join her as she reports on all this season’s transits,...
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Your 2022 Leo full moon horoscope - UNPLUGGED
In an a very un-Leo-like way, snarky astrologer Cosmic Cannibal has your stripped down, unvarnished, unplugged Leo full moon horoscope, sans disco music. Is this is a new trend for the satirical astrology expert? Nah. She was just too busy to do any sound mixing. #holla Feel like reading your...
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Your February 2022 Horoscope
After a rather long break, snarky-yet-savvy astrology satirist Cosmic Cannibal is back and has your February forecast covered. In this episode of the astrology podcast, Cosmic reports on all the planetary transits taking place this month, including, but not limited to: Mercury in Aquarius, the…
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Cosmic Weather Forecast: Aquarius Season
After a brief holiday break, snarky astrologer Cosmic Cannibal is back with a bang--and a bang-up forecast for 2022 Aquarius season. In this short and sweet episode, Cosmic covers all the transits happening this Water Bearer season, from Mars in Capricorn and Mercury in Aquarius, to the Aquarius...
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2021 Gemini Full Moon and Venus Retrograde in Capricorn
A full moon, a Jupiter trine, and lots of Venus action make for an active astrology weekend, and Cosmic Cannibal has your forecast for ALL OF IT. That’s right, in this episode of the astrology podcast, Cosmic gives you the lowdown on all the transits taking place this weekend, from the Gemini…
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About this show
Join Cosmic Cannibal (writer and snarky astrologer) as she reports on the astrological happenings of the week. Equal parts astrological resource and satire, Cosmic Chronicles explores all things astrology, from zodiac signs and planets to transits and horoscopes, in a way no other astrology podcast can.
Hosted by
Cosmic Cannibal
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