CRITERIONAUTS

Join Joey and Chris for some goo filled metaphors of questionable pacing.

Don't forget to pledge now for your commemorative tote.(there is no tote)

Chris' Assignment: RADaptations. Joey's Submission: Mortal Kombat. Does it stand up to Chris' RUBRIC?!? Let's watch...

The rad is the fat.

Learn and laugh along with your chuckle buddies in this hilarious romp of torture and 4th wall breaking remotes.

Criterionauts Joey Reinisch and Chris McCaleb try out their new show idea. A movie discussion show on a graded curve. Assignment: The Toys That Made Us. Chris' Submission: G.I. Joe The Movie Does it stand up to Joey's RUBRIC?!? Let's watch...

Hey look! Someone made a movie out of the cliff notes for that book you never read but were supposed to.

Life. Mother. Tree. Movie. Sorta. Kinda. Vagina fish. Ghost mom. Father. Fart noise.

Smooth.

Hold on to your gallbladder.

After over a year lost in the void, Criterionaut Joey is joined by a new co-pilot: Chris McCaleb! In a horrible initiation, the new crew dives into the deep end with a new movie from Salo director Pier Paolo Pasolini

Joey and Brian watch ______ based on a book wh___ whole fu___ing passages are missing. What the f____.

Joey and Brian struggle to remember the cast of the prequel to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls whilst talking about the media circus surrounding both movies.

Hey superfly babydoll. Grab your uppers downers, sisters and cousins for a rad fab party of perfect perversions and lots and lots of boobs.

The film explorers dive into the inspiration for the modern classic "Face-Off". Spoiler alert, there's no golden guns.

Joey and Brian watch their favorite bondage themed 90's romantic comedy about stockholm syndrome yet!

Joey and Brian get curious about Sweden and it's 60's politics...also bush. Did she touch the wiener? LETS FIND OUT.

This episode is the final nail in the coffin on proof that we can't have nice things.

Don't let the title of the movie fool you. It's ironic. Oh, you don't get it? That's because you don't get art. Art is only for smart people, you prude. Prude! I AM NOT A PRUDE.

In an upsetting change of pace, Joey and Brian find themselves yearning for a strong dose of body horror to energize this post-war nazi hotel dramedy. It's not actually a comedy.

Joey and Brian attempt to cleanse their movie watching palates with a healthy dose of schadenfreude. It doesn't work.

Joey and Brian suffer through the most unsexy sex filled movie they've seen to date. You're going to need an new Criterion score card after this one, because all the boxes are getting checked.

Joey and Brian lean into it and delve further down into the depths as they explore Lars Von Filmguy's ANTICHRIST. There's a He, a She, a dead kid, and a very heavy log.

TThe Criterionauts journey to the realm of the SCANNERS. Where buckets of plot are saved till the end, shotgun squads are decimated on the reg, and warble voiced mind talking is hard to take seriously.

The filmsplorers embark on a relatively tame mission after the harrow experiences of Salo. GDT's first Wampire feature still holds up despite all the toilet blood.

The Criterionauts face their most challenging challenge to date. Salo, or the 120 days of sodom, assaulted the brave explorers with such fury that the effects will be felt for years to come.

Mission 7 takes the Criterionauts back in time to Modern Times as they experience life through the eyes of a brain damaged factory worker known only as "The Little Tramp." Oh and there's an attractice underaged homeless girl too. Modern Times!

Our latest mission takes us to the student film filled stopmotion world of Equinox. Follow Joey and Brian as they witness films dumbest non-heroes mercifully get wiped out by a slobbery park ranger with a dick ring.

Our latest mission takes us to the student film filled stopmotion world of Equinox. Follow Joey and Brian as they witness films dumbest non-heroes mercifully get wiped out by a slobbery park ranger with a dick ring.

The Criterionauts journey to the LSD-infused, blood-soaked sex dreams of House and barely make it out with their sanity intact. Those Japanese sure know how to party. It's a super good time, you guys.

Criterionauts Reinisch and Carney embark on their first english language mission where they are treated with a shocking amount of nudity for a 50 year old movie.

Mission 2 casts our explorers into the bizzaro mysterious world of France. Where young women eat spaghetti on a daily basis, smoke, and always sleep naked. Stay tuned for fluids of all kinds, long musicless scenes, and of course... more spaghetti.

Criterionauts Joey Reinisch and Brian Carney suit up for their impossible mission. To boldly watch culturally significant movies and expand their tiny brains. We now join our heroes for their first mission: Seven Samurai. Do YOU like...films? Ughh