Crying Out Loud with Dr. Laura Berman

In 2022, the sudden death of Bob Saget made headlines around the world. As the public mourned a legend, his widow, Kelly Rizzo, was grieving her husband with the whole world watching. How do you mourn so publicly, release someone you love, and eventually find love again when you had lost all hope?  In this episode of Crying Out Loud, I sit down with Kelly Rizzo, food and travel creator, host of the podcast Comfort Food, and the woman who loved Bob Saget. She is warm, self-aware, and honest about the strange terrain of sudden loss, unexpected joy, and the guilt that seems to follow both. Kelly met Bob the old-fashioned way; he slid into her DMs and fell for him slowly, then all at once. Their marriage was only three years old when he died suddenly in January 2022, after what she describes as the best show of his life. What followed was a grief that was both deeply private and relentlessly public, played out on morning shows with swollen eyes and in quiet moments alone in a kitchen that would never feel the same. In this conversation, Kelly shares what it was like to navigate loss at a level of visibility most of us can't imagine, how she learned everything she knows about grief from Bob himself, and why, four years later, she's finally in therapy and newly, beautifully in love. We also go deep together. I share my own experience of navigating a suicidal child after losing Sammy, and what it taught me about releasing control and trusting my own resilience. And together we talk about what grief does to the people around us, the surprising anchors and the unexpected boats, and why sometimes a hand emoji from John Mayer says everything. In this episode, we explore: What it’s like to grieve a partner in the public eye while the whole world is watching The private love story behind Bob Saget and the man most people never saw Why grief reshapes every relationship and who actually shows up when it matters The guilt of feeling joy again and how to let yourself love without betrayal What it really takes to release control after devastating loss The small moments of connection that can carry you through the darkest time How to navigate letting go of a shared life while still honoring it The difference between holding on and staying connected What it looks like to open your heart again after you thought you never could How grief, when you move through it, can become a portal into resilience, love, and a more honest life Kelly Rizzo is a force, not because she has it all figured out, but because she shows up honestly for herself and for others, even when it's hard. You can find her on Instagram, and tune into her podcast Comfort Food wherever you listen. To join her warm and intimate community, check out Comfort Club. As always, I'd love to hear from you. Share your story or send your questions to [email protected]. And make sure to pre-order my new book, Crying Out Loud, to be supported through loss and learn how to use your pain as a portal of transformation. Also, if you're looking for a place to connect with people who truly understand, the Grief Healing Collective is there for you. None of us were meant to carry this alone. Let's cry out loud together.

Why are we so uncomfortable talking about death when it’s the one thing every single one of us will face? We plan weddings. We plan careers. We plan retirement.But when it comes to the end of our lives, most of us are completely unprepared… emotionally, practically, and spiritually. And what if that avoidance is actually costing us something much bigger than we realize? In this episode of Crying Out Loud, I sit down with Alua Arthur, death doula, attorney turned activist, and New York Times bestselling author of Briefly Perfectly Human. Her life’s work is built on a powerful truth: when we are willing to look directly at death, everything about how we live begins to shift. Alua didn’t arrive here in a straight line. After building a life that looked right on paper but felt misaligned inside, she found herself in a deep depression that forced her to stop. During that time, she took a trip to Cuba where a chance conversation on a bus with a woman facing terminal cancer changed everything. Talking about that woman’s death brought her back to her own life. Today, as a death doula, Alua provides non-medical, deeply human support to people at the end of their lives and to those who love them. She helps people face their fears, make meaning, and create a more conscious, intentional relationship with dying. But this conversation is not just about death. It’s about how grief itself is a kind of death.How loss reshapes us. And how, when we stop resisting what ends, we can begin to live more honestly, more fully, and more aligned with what actually matters. We talk about what it means to accompany someone to the edge, and what that process asks of us as the ones still here. This is one of those conversations that stays with you. In this episode, we explore: What a death doula actually does and why this work matters The moment on a bus in Cuba that changed the trajectory of Alua’s life How facing death can bring clarity, meaning, and even freedom Why grief is its own kind of death and how it can transform you The difference between dying happening to you and dying as a conscious process What it really means to have a “good death” Why witnessing death can be both devastating and deeply clarifying How to support someone who is in the dying process Why so many people seem to die when loved ones step out of the room The emotional and spiritual impact of what is left unsaid What end-of-life planning actually includes (and why it matters now, not later) How thinking about death can radically change how you live If this conversation moved you, pick up Alua’s book Briefly Perfectly Human, it’s part memoir, part manifesto, and a powerful reflection on what it means to be alive. You can find her death meditation series, Grace in Dying  at her website, Going with Grace, where you’ll also discover information on death doula trainings, retreats, and ways to engage more deeply with your own mortality. Connect with her on Instagram and LinkedIn, and explore her offerings there.  As always, I'd love to hear from you. Share your story or send your questions to [email protected]. And if you're looking for a place to connect with people who truly understand, the Grief Healing Collective is there for you. None of us were meant to carry this alone. Let's cry out loud together.

What if the day that broke you… could also be the day that brings you back to life? Most of us think grief is something we move through, step by step, until we’re “on the other side.” But what if that’s not true? In this deeply moving episode of Crying Out Loud, I sit down with pastor, storyteller, and grief advocate John Onwuchekwa to explore a different truth. One that might completely reframe the way you understand loss. Because according to John, tragedy doesn’t ruin us. Hopelessness does. On April 14, 2015, John’s life split into a before and after when his younger brother Sam died suddenly. What followed wasn’t a neat “healing journey.” It was the unraveling of everything he thought he knew about faith, control, and what it means to survive loss. And then, two years later, on that exact same date… something unexpected happened. A moment John calls a “small wink.” A moment that didn’t erase his grief, but changed the way he carried it. This conversation is about what it really looks like to live with grief, not past it. It’s about questioning the stories we’ve been told, finding language for the unspeakable, and discovering how hope can exist without forcing meaning too soon. If you’ve ever wondered:Am I grieving the “right” way?Why does this still hurt so much?Will I ever feel like myself again? This episode will meet you exactly where you are. In this episode, we explore: Why the idea of “grief as a journey” can quietly harm more than it helps The subtle ways we’ve been taught to perform our grief How storytelling becomes a lifeline in the aftermath of loss What it means to live “another life” after everything changes Why grief doesn’t expire… and what that actually means The difference between numbness that protects and numbness that traps How loss can dismantle faith and rebuild it into something more honest Why doubt might be the very thing that deepens your connection to the divine What it means to speak grief fluently, with just a hint of hope Why patience is the most underrated (and essential) grief practice How to truly show up for someone at rock bottom If this conversation resonates with you, check out John’s book We Go On for more insights. You can also explore more of his work at johno.co and connect with him on LinkedIn. His nonprofit, We Go On Studio, hosts gatherings in cities around the world for people learning how to live with both grief and hope. As always, I’d love to hear from you. Share your story or send your questions to [email protected]. And if you’re looking for a place to connect with people who truly understand, the Grief Healing Collective is there for you. None of us were meant to carry this alone. Let’s cry out loud together.

What if the most painful part of grief isn’t the loss itself, but the belief that you’re doing it wrong? That quiet voice that says you should be further along… that you should be handling it better… that somehow, if you had done one thing differently, they might still be here… I hear that voice every single day in my work. And I’ve felt it in my own grief too. But here’s the truth: you’re not doing grief wrong. We’ve just been taught to understand it wrong. In this episode, I’m joined by David Kessler, one of the world’s leading grief experts, known for his work on the five stages of grief alongside Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, and the author of Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. But to me, David isn’t just an expert. He’s a friend. And he’s the man who stood in my backyard less than a week after my son Sammy died… who sat with my husband and my youngest son, holding our fear and our shame without trying to fix it. When I felt called to go deep into the redwoods to face my own darkness, David was the one who said, “I’ve got them.” He supported my family then, and he remains a steady presence in our lives today. David Kessler isn’t just a grief authority. He’s someone I deeply trust. In this conversation, we pull back the curtain on what healing actually looks like beyond the myths and the stages we’ve been sold. We explore why grief is never linear, why acceptance isn’t a finish line, and why meaning doesn’t come from the death itself, but from the life you live afterward. We explore:  Why the pressure to “move on” actually keeps people stuck in grief What the sixth stage of grief really looks like beyond the theory The subtle mistake people make when trying to “find meaning” too soon Why grief has no timeline, and what to trust instead A powerful reframe for guilt that can instantly soften self-blame What we misunderstand about “prolonged grief” and why it matters Why old wounds resurface during loss and how to work with them The difference between surviving your grief and being transformed by it One belief about healing that quietly holds so many people back How even the most traumatic loss can eventually become something sacred Don’t forget to check out David’s work at grief.com. His new workbook, Finding Meaning, is available at griefbook.com and comes with a free three-part class to help walk you through it.  As always, I want to hear from you. Share your story or send questions to [email protected]. And if you need a place to connect with people who truly get it, visit the Grief Healing Collective. None of us were meant to do this alone. Let’s cry out loud together.

In this episode of Crying Out Loud, I sit down with someone whose wisdom has shaped so many of our lives for decades, spiritual teacher and author Iyanla Vanzant. In her newest book,  Spiritual Hygiene, Iyanla introduces a framework for understanding loss that can transform pain into deep and abiding strength and grace.  As two mothers who have both experienced the devastating loss of a child, we speak honestly about what grief teaches us. Iyanla shares about losing two daughters, Jamia and Nisa, and how those experiences were profoundly different. When Jamia crossed over, grief taught her the difference between grief and mourning. By the time Nisa transitioned, she had already spent decades doing the deep inner work of spiritual hygiene. Because of that, she was able to meet the second loss from a very different spiritual place, still grieving but grounded in what she had learned. Iyanla  reminds us that it’s from our most broken states that we can begin to reconfigure our body, mind, and soul in new ways.   We explore: The idea of spiritual hygiene and why healing begins with returning to wholeness Why the loss of love pulls us into grief quickly and deeply Grief as a powerful teacher and  initiator in a grief-illiterate society The key difference between grief and mourning The moment Iyanla  realized she had to let her daughter go nine months before she passed How to stop the  “should have, could have, would have” guilt loops in which  so many grievers stay stuck.  How to release negative thoughts that feel sticky.  The spiritual moments that shaped Iyanla’s path, including a mysterious encounter during postpartum depression and the message she received after her second loss Remember to check out Iyanla’s book Spiritual Hygiene and her new show The Inside Fix. You can also connect with Iyanla through her website and on Instagram. If you’d like to share your story or ask a question, email [email protected]. And if you want to get healing support and connect with others on the same path, visit the Grief Healing Collective. None of us were meant to grieve alone. Let’s cry out loud together.

Welcome to this special extended episode of Crying Out Loud. I’m Dr. Laura Berman. As I share throughout this podcast, on February 7, 2021, my 16-year-old son Sammy was sent a drug dealer by Snapchat who sold him counterfeit drugs laced with  fentanyl. Like many parents, I believed my child was safe at home. We had talked about social media safety. I worried about online predators, explicit photos, and the risks teenagers face online. But it never occurred to me that drugs could be ordered through social media and delivered to our home as easily as ordering takeout. What happened shattered my heart and my understanding of what “safe at home” really meant. In the days, months, and years after losing Sammy, I began recording reflections simply to process what I was living through. I wasn’t thinking about creating a podcast. I was simply trying to survive the unimaginable. Those recordings eventually became what I now call The Losing Sammy Diaries. This episode brings together four chapters from The Losing Sammy Diaries, recorded across the weeks, months, and years after Sammy’s death. Each chapter offers a snapshot along my trajectory through grief, showing how pain, understanding, and healing gradually evolve over time. Chapter One: Ground Zero One Week After Losing Sammy What the earliest days of grief actually feel like The story of what happened to Sammy and the growing fentanyl crisis The dangers of social media platforms that many families like mine were blind to The powerful and surprising response I got  from families across the country  The role of surrender and softening in the midst of devastating loss Why being present with pain and releasing it from the body can be an important part of grief healing Why I made the difficult decision to leave my home and family for a bit just a few weeks after Sammy’s death  Chapter Two: The Redwood Odyssey Three Months After Losing Sammy My profound personal odyssey experienced in the Redwoods of California How somatic experiencing opened a new doorway for processing grief The emotional releases that can happen when grief moves through the body The healing power of nature, long walks through the forest, and hugging trees My unforgettable “glittering forest” experience in the redwoods The seeds of something new that were beginning to form Chapter Three: Two Funerals and a Birthday Party Six Months After Losing Sammy What my mother’s death taught me about moving with loss The difference between spiritual connection and spiritually bypassing pain The unexpected role my dog played in my healing The fifteen-minute grounding practice that can help you move grief through the body Why allowing ourselves to receive love from others can be part of healing The beautiful release ceremonies and the two funerals we had honoring Sammy’s life Why there is no right or wrong way for partners to grieve in a marriage The deeper questions grief raises about what remains after death Chapter Four: The Metamorphosis Three Years After Losing Sammy The origin of the Crying Out Loud  The moment I realized grief had fundamentally changed who I am What happened on our first ever grieving mama retreat The insights I’ve gained around healing after years of navigating loss The practices that helped me begin rebuilding life The Six Pillars of Healing that grew out of this journey How grief can become a portal for transformation This episode is about living our truth, feeling our feelings, and allowing love to continue even after loss. We want to hear from you!. If you’d like to share your story or have a question or topic you’d like covered, reach out at [email protected]. If you’re looking for live healing resources and connection with others walking a similar path, check the Grief Healing Collective, a supportive community where people navigating loss come together to share experiences, learn tools for healing, experience live healing sessions and support groups. None of us were meant to grieve alone. Let’s cry out loud together.

Welcome to the first episode of Crying Out Loud. I’m Dr. Laura Berman, and this podcast is for anyone who has lost someone, loves someone who’s grieving, or longing for support in carrying  the weight of their pain. It’s the grief companion I wish I had, where science, psychology, and spirituality meet, and where practical tools help you heal. Five years ago, I never imagined I would be here. I was a well-known and busy  love and relationship expert. But on February 7, 2021, my 16-year-old son Sammy was sent a drug dealer by Snapchat who sold him counterfeit drugs laced with  fentanyl. I had experienced painful loss before,both my parents, my grandmothers and others close to me. But suffice it to say,  Sammy’s death showed me how much the heart can hold. Grief can transform you. Not because it gets smaller, but because we grow bigger around it. In this episode, I share some of my grief journey and what I’ve learned is possible in healing.  We explore:  The story of Sammy’s passing Why grief is not something to fix or finish The Six Pillars of Healing that changed my life and can change yours How to surf the waves of grief instead of drowning in them How grief can become a portal of transformation The concept of “getting bigger” around your grief Why it’s important to never  apologize for crying How loss reshapes friendships and relationships What it means to continue loving someone beyond form This episode is about living your truth, feeling your feelings, and letting love continue beyond form.  If you want to share your story or have questions, email me at [email protected]. Check out The Losing Sammy Diaries at your leisure to get a sense of how grief evolves over time, and if you want to get healing support and connect with others on the same path, visit the Grief Healing Collective. None of us were meant to grieve alone. Let’s cry out loud together.

Crying Out Loud is a grief companion for anyone carrying loss. Hosted by Dr. Laura Berman, bestselling author, therapist, and grieving mother, the show blends clinical guidance with spiritual insight to support healing on every level. Each week features conversations with experts, healers and mediums to help regulate your nervous system, honor your grief, and explore continued connection with loved ones on the other side. You were never meant to grieve alone. Let’s cry out loud together.