PODCAST · comedy
Curated Bitching
by Tess & Whitney
Listen to two old friends share in each other's love of Friends, bitching, and righteous indignation. Whether you're having a bad day, week, month, or even a year, we'll be there for you!
Episodes
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Tequila Tangent 2
Hey! We're still here! The writer of the duo is unavailable, so this will be short, sweet, and much less witty. All the things in this one, communism, kid shows, Halloween, and tequila to fuel the tangents.
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Diesel and desire; vanilla and regret
Tess and Whit open season 2 with a tequila tasting! Okay, they meant to open it with a completely different episode but forgot to hit record. But because of their mistake, you get to start season 2 with tequila tasting, Jordan’s insight on chocolate, and Louisiana P.E. classes.
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Cinco de Mayo
Have another listen, it was one of our favorites. A special Cinco de Mayo episode. Which basically means it’s part of a regular episode combined with slightly more emphasis on tacos and tequila and an unexpected history lesson about the significance of the Battle of Puebla. Also, both Whitney and...
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Be Blessed
Tess and Whitney wrap their first bitching season by offering 100% amateur advice on how to be exempt from all the things. For a donation of $20, you can be exempt AND be blessed.
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CEAUXcaine and Glitter
Tess and Whitney discuss their holiday pet peeves, which include PEOPLE — especially people who start buying Christmas decorations in July instead of celebrating freedom and embracing swamp-ass. Tess questions the motive behind a gift that is supposed to encourage positive thinking. Whitney…
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Don’t Steal. The government hates competition, and the costs of bean burritos and prostitutes are going up.
Ways to piss off Tess and Whitney: Steal their flutes and steal their bags to pay for prostitutes. Please pardon the fatigue at the end of the episode — Tess is exhausted from working too much at a salary that doesn’t increase at the same rate of inflation, and Whitney has been losing sleep over...
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Sleaux Your Reauxl
Okay that title was even painful for Whitney to read, and it was obviously her idea to spell it that way. Calm yourself and get the facts before you throw a bitch fit. Basically, remember the four commandments of Curated Bitching. Oh, and listen to Whitney struggle with verb choice while…
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Professionalism: Tess and Whitney are Ready to Geaux Preaux
You need to be more professional. And by “you,” we mean elected officials. And Squadcast, who needs to have an undo button and work well enough for amateurs to record a podcast. Speaking of unpaid and unsponsored, Tess and Whitney are willing to forego their Olympic eligibility and take on a...
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Bitchney, Ugh
Originally called “Extra, extra! Bitch all about it!” But things derailed because Tess and Whitney had to catch up on two weeks of life. Karen the producer can kiss Whitney’s spray tanned ass. Tess complains about the price of coffee in Brazil in 1982. Whitney questions how many DFW baristas...
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The One With a Producer
Whitney and Tess get a stern producer who keeps them in line as they discuss the lengths to which women (e.g., Whitney and two of her other friends) go for dates, resulting in their second shortest episode so far. Chandler — if you’re reading this, Whitney wants you to know you’re totally worth…
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Tequila Tangent Cuatreaux: Remedial Meth
Lucky episode 13: Tequila Tangent Cuatreaux/Meth 101 Welcome to Curated Bitching, where the points are made up at the last minute and the tequila tangent timer doesn’t matter. On this episode, Squiggy the tabby chimes in with her most annoying part of the week. Tess and Whitney each have THREE…
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Love the Thighs You're With
Thick thighs save lives, but thin thighs are less likely to chafe when you run. Ditch the coverup (if you want) and enjoy the pool, love your body by feeding it good tequila, and work on yourself FOR yourself. And if you feel the need to voice your opinions on what other people weigh or wear…
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Big Macs and Free Shots Don’t Fix Bulletholes
Tess and Whitney tackle healthcare — and by “tackle,” we mean bitch about the dumpster fire we have experienced from both the patient’s and healthcare worker’s sides. Rants include questionable billing, the importance of treating of humans with dignity regardless of their scent, healthcare worker...
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The One Without Paul Rudd
Tess and Whitney break down the Friends reunion and their top ten episodes. Tess takes the Karen crown from Whitney by shouting at rule-breaking teenagers as she is floating in the lazy river with her margarita. Zoey the Great Pyrenees and Squiggy the grey tabby make appearances. And as always,...
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Tequila Tangent 3
Because Tess was surprisingly unbothered by people this week, and Whitney was too overwhelmed to pick one topic. Mini-rants include sports, government bailouts for billionaires, and Whitney’s continued struggle to GO BACK TO THE NAME SHE WAS BORN WITH. But sure let’s give the government more...
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The One With All The Bitching
A Friends-themed episode to celebrate the Friends reunion streaming this week! Previously mentioned pet peeves are elaborated upon with a Friends reference for each one. But Whitney is quickly distracted by a DM about a promising collaboration offer, which results in jokes about balls. Speaking…
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Tequila Tangent 2.EAUX
Instead of continuing the Top Ten Lies of the Past Year, Whitney and Tess each have a bowl of surprise topics for the other. The other has three minutes to rant about each topic. Tess denies her roots and goes on an elitist rant about spelling things with “eaux” while drinking her $150 añejeaux....
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Unclutch Your Pearls
Tess wanted to do this topic for episode 1, but Whitney convinced her to wait a few weeks. Now that we have gotten a whole 46 listens on episode 1, it’s time for the biggie — Cancel Culture. But unclutch your pearls because it’s probably not what you think. Or it’s exactly what you think. It…
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Mute yourself, Karen...We can hear your cat!
Zoom etiquette/pet peeves, but the real stars of the episode are Whitney’s taco/Karen rant and Tess’s attic cat tangent. Also, this is a combination of two recording sessions, and we are aware of slight continuity errors. Please remember that we don’t like unsolicited advice, so if you are one of...
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Cinco de Mayo
A special Cinco de Mayo episode. Which basically means it’s part of a regular episode combined with slightly more emphasis on tacos and tequila and an unexpected history lesson about the significance of the Battle of Puebla. Also, both Whitney and Tess are once again the most annoying parts of...
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Tequila Tangent 1
The first in our Tequila Tangent series -- Top Ten Lies of the Past Year. But because we have no time management skills, we are starting with five. If you make it to the end, you will hear us briefly lose touch with our "Mind Your Own Damn Business" stance as Whitney also loses the ability to...
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Neither Hear Nor Their: Pet Peeves From the Realms of Language and Geography
Tess and Whitney rant about grammar, pronunciation, and spelling - with dashes of cilantro, geography, and Friends references. Also, Tess talks about that one time she went to a party, and Whitney polishes her dining table with taco grease.
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None of Your Damn Business
From drum major camp to podcasting-listen to two old friends share in righteous indignation. Hear Tess present logical reasoning for people's nosiness and profess her love for her son. Meanwhile, Whitney cackles between rants and gets distracted by cheese stuck to her phone.
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Listen to two old friends share in each other's love of Friends, bitching, and righteous indignation. Whether you're having a bad day, week, month, or even a year, we'll be there for you!
HOSTED BY
Tess & Whitney
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Curated Bitching have?
Curated Bitching currently has 23 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Curated Bitching about?
Listen to two old friends share in each other's love of Friends, bitching, and righteous indignation. Whether you're having a bad day, week, month, or even a year, we'll be there for you!
How often does Curated Bitching release new episodes?
Curated Bitching has 23 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Curated Bitching?
You can listen to Curated Bitching on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Curated Bitching?
Curated Bitching is created and hosted by Tess & Whitney.
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